#am just peak unwell! Just so much going on and life doesn’t stop at all to give me a break no of course all my many problems irl have to get

[corset]

Been a while since I hated being alive but here we are

[iron-mum]

I wish you would write a fic where Tony and kid Peter are being adorable father and son as retribution for the angst you’ve made me suffer through in the past hah! (JK I love you and your angst! 💛)

Well, well, well. What do we have here, eh? A request for adorable? I'm not sure, I'm very good at that 😌

Here's SIMTony who would stop at nothing to help his unwell son, Peter get better. Even if it meant using Extremis.

P.S. ILY3000 💕

In the final throes of the graveyard shift at the hospital floor, the elevator pinged for its frequent lone visitor. The front desk staff, whilst tense and sitting up suddenly straighter, knew not to actually engage. No ID was needed for their boss, one of them barely suppressing a gulp as his determined strides headed for the private room that had been deliberately placed near to the room equipped for every possible kind of emergency. Once inside, he carefully shut the door silently and took a seat at the bedside.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Sharp blue eyes shifted from the persistent buzzing of the most technologically advanced medical equipment anyone, anywhere could offer before looking back down to something far more invaluable and precious. Tony’s entire world. His purpose in life. The little boy on the bed lay motionless, breathing slowly and evenly, nose occasionally scrunching up at the discomfort of the oxygen mask upon him. He should have been cocooned in a hug from his father but instead his son, Peter, was littered with wires attaching him to the very best modern medicine had to offer.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Pale, soft skin with the daintiest of freckles stood out against the dark curls spread across the far too big pillow. The small fingers of his left hand had loosely closed around the calloused thumb of his father, letting him know that whilst he had been rendered weak from illness, he was still aware of his comforting presence. Tony’s index finger gently glided across the small knuckles, willing himself to see a tiny curve of the lips on his son’s face.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

This had been the Avengers fault. Peter’s current critical condition. The young boy had been on a school trip when a battle had broken out and the wannabe heroes managed to cause more destruction than lives saved. A chemical explosion had landed most of the class in hospital and many of them had ended up becoming very unwell. Unfortunately for Peter, he already suffered many ailments so even under the wing of Stark’s finest medical personnel, the struggle had taken a toll. The genius shook his head as thoughts of revenge started to sprout from the many seeds that had been planted since the catastrophic incident. He shelved the many ideas he had that would lead to the demise of the reckless group once his kid was better.

It had been hours when the sound of a nurse's footsteps acted as the catalyst that would remove Tony from the room so he could head back to his lab. As he reluctantly moved his hand away, there was no reaction. Not even a twitch from the slender child. Bending down, he tentatively stroked a small amount of the exposed skin that was available on the boy’s face before planting a light kiss on his forehead. By the time the nurse was opening the door to the room to complete the routine checks, any sign of a visitor would be long gone.

The moment Tony was back in his workshop, he strode towards his desk. Music started to reverberate from the ceiling, the sound greatly appreciated compared to the low hum and incessant beeping from the emotionless devices that were currently keeping his son alive.

Tony didn’t believe in a higher power other than himself. So in no way, shape or form was he ever going to accept that he couldn’t save Peter from the incurable illness now ravaging his frail body. Feeling powerless was simply not an option.

Rolling up the sleeve to his top, the genius opened a drawer and pulled out a device meant for extracting blood as painlessly as possible. Not that pain meant much to him these days. No pain would ever compete with a parent having to watch their child deteriorate every single second of every single day.

Satisfied with the draw, Tony placed it into a diagnostic machine of his own making. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the glass of his workshop, eyeing it like he was in the most intense staring contest of his life. Jaw clenching, his arm shot out allowing liquid metal to glide across his skin before firing a repulsor at the glass and shattering it. There was an element of irony to everyone loving his face except himself in the minimal but intrusive “what if” moments that surrounded his current situation. With a crack of his neck, his arm remained outstretched so the Endo-Sym armour could return to it’s housing tank.

“Boss, the results are back,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. informed as the music lessened in volume. “No adverse reactions detected still. The chemical composition indicates that the Extremis is unchanged in it’s integration with you on a genetic level and continues to remain stable.”

“And the sample from Peter?” Tony asked, confident that he knew what the answer would be.

“Also remaining stable.”

“Alert the staff intending to see Peter following tonight's shift that their presence will not be needed,” the genius demanded as he mentally reiterated the next steps of his plan in his head. Lips curled into devilishly handsome grin at his victory, eyes crinkling at the sides. The smile only softened when his eyes drifted to a framed picture Peter had drawn of the both of them. He’d done it.

“Certainly, boss,” the AI had responded without any acknowledgement. Tony was too busy in thought. Not only was the Extremis flowing through his own veins, leaving him feeling at perfect health. But soon, it would be doing the same for Peter too. Pain free, peak performance and at complete and optimal health.

“Have there been any sightings of the Avengers in the last hour? I feel a splash of revenge is in order for this special occasion?” The holo-screens in front of him started to flicker as social media sites were searched and hashtags refreshed repeatedly. Hulk had been trending within the hour and Hawkeye in the last eleven minutes.

"Well, how about that?" he grinned gleefully. "I really am being spoiled for choice."

Whilst the genius had been certain F.R.I.D.A.Y. had relayed the message to the morning staff, Tony still found himself exhaling sharply at the sight of someone sat by Peter’s side reading his file. The thin bag of Extremis in his hand was shifted into his back pocket as quickly as humanly possible. The good feeling from beating the shit out of one of the Avengers, plus the buzz of providing Peter with a cure that no meagre doctor had been able to, shifted into a tension as tried to work out who it was.

Their face was narrow with sharp features and glasz eyes remarkably penetrating when they met his perusing stare. His black hair had been combed back neatly, the sides of his temples a distinct light grey. The well fitted suit looked designer even for Tony’s impeccable standards.

“Your services are no longer required,” he affirmed with a dismissive flourish of the hands before the man could even introduce himself.

“I’m sorry?” the other man replied without hesitation, closing the file and rising from the chair. Tony’s chair. If he’d been expecting any pleasantries or introductions, he was thoroughly mistaken. Tony was already locked onto Peter, the gentle rise of his chest a welcoming sight as always. He refused to allow his attention to be divided, ignoring the piercing stare boring into him now. “I have an oath to this patient. He critically needs help from the best in all fields. He needs my help.”

The genius turned at that, an eyebrow raised as he looked the doctor up and down. He certainly held himself strongly for someone who had that much audacity in addressing the owner of everything within his current vicinity.

“Are you new around here… Doctor Strange?” He asked disingenuously, eyes narrowing as he scrutinised the name badge. The letters ‘VISITOR - Dr Stephen Strange’ jotted on the bottom, likely the reason he hadn’t got his AI’s memo. The receptionist who let him in would be fired whether it was her fault or not.

“Unlike everyone else in this building, no, I don’t work for you” the doctor shot back tersely. “However, you were so insistent on my consultation that, somehow, I found my diary completely cleared of all surgeries that were booked in.”

“Well, you can now stick them back in your diary. We’re done here.”

“I know this is difficult,” the doctor started, tone suddenly softer as if he were hoping a change of tact would get through. “You brought me in for my expertise, so use them.”

“I’m the most intelligent, capable person on the planet. I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.”

“Your arrogance surpasses all the rumours and expectations I had of you,” Strange snapped back incredulously. Apparently nothing was going to get through. “Your child is-”

“You know, it would be a real shame if you were to lose your medical licence, wouldn't it, doctor?” Tony sneered dangerously low. This ungrateful little shit was going to get it for not only wasting his time and energy, but also his son’s. An insignificant speck like the rest of the world.

“Are you threatening me?” the doctor replied doing his best to keep his tone cool and unflinching when the other man removed all personal space between them. The lack of intimidation he was feeling only pissed Tony off more.

“Let’s not test my resolve, doctor.” Despite feeling completely wrong about leaving considering Peter’s condition, Dr Stephen Strange tucked the file he’d been reading under his arm and left the room in just a few strides. Tony had spotted the hand diving for a phone as the door shut behind him and clenched his fists in disdain.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., be a darling and ensure Doctor Douchebag doesn’t make it back home,” Tony demanded followed by a nonchalant sniff.

“Yes, boss. His phone has also unexpectedly lost all signal so will not be usable anytime soon.”

Satisfied with the course of action his AI had taken, Tony locked the door to his son’s room for good measure. He eyed the current equipment before making his move. One of the drips currently providing Peter with much needed medicine was switched to make way for a sample of the Extremis that Tony had meticulously created and tested on himself. He peered at his son, swallowing thickly that this would all be worth it.

Bag secured, the first few drops started instantly, the older man watching as they flowed along the thin tubes before entering the cannula imposed on Peter’s hand. The skin began to glow orange, the lava looking trail gliding all the way up the arm’s before entering the chest. Daring a glance at the monitors, Tony noted an instant improvement in the readouts. A smile spread across his face as sheet-white, sickly skin started to immediately brighten.

Peter’s big, brown doe eyes suddenly shot open as he took a huge gulp of air, eyes landing on his father who was remarkably in focus for the first time in his life without the aid of glasses. Tony removed the oxygen mask so he could take his son’s face in fully for the first time in well over a month.

“Dad?” the young boy croaked, clearly a little disoriented from the abrupt wake up.

“Hey, buddy,” Tony whispered, voice cracking with emotion as he closed the distance between them.

Peter lunged at his father, his small arms wrapping tightly around the genius’ neck and face burying into his chest. It had been far too long since either had been able to enjoy the tender, heart-bursting feeling of overwhelming, unconditional love from one another.

“I love you, kiddo.” Tony gushed as one of his hand’s lovingly cupped the back of Peter's head holding him as close as possible. The other enveloped around his back, his thumb slowly stroking up and down. When the older man's hand started to trail through Peter's hair, the boy somehow managed to burrow even closer. Tony soothingly lifted curls between his fingers and then let them ping back as new life continued to circle through his son’s body.

“I love you too, dad,” Peter whispered, a strain evident in his voice that Tony hadn’t been expecting. When he leant back, he saw the likely cause. Now unnecessary wires were tugging at his child’s skin.

“Let’s get these off you, bud. You don’t need them anymore,” he promised softly as he carefully went to work at removing the monitoring equipment clips and stickers. Peter’s curious eyes followed every step of the way, surprisingly not wincing even when some of the tougher stickers were peeled away. Although he was too young to even begin comprehending what had happened, he knew from vague memories he’d been hurt and that he’d slept a lot. Often he had been unsure if he was dreaming or awake when he’d hear his father read him stories, express his love and let him know how brave he was being. A slight tug on his hand drew him from his recollection as he looked down.

"I’m scared," Peter timidly admitted as he eyed up the last piece of medical equipment attached to him. The cannula in his hand.

“Here’s what we're gonna do, bud. We’re going to put on our brave faces and before you know it, it’ll be all done and over with. Can you show me your bravest, fiercest face?” Tony gently challenged, as part of his upper lip curled and he playfully growled.

The child’s dinky nose scrunched up and his lips pushed out into the biggest pout he could form. He shook his head a little and hummed in a way that likely felt fierce to him but could only be described as adorable to his dad.

"Wowzer. That was super mean, you nearly scared me!” Tony gasped dramatically, as he gestured for the boy to look down and see that the only thing on the top of his hand was a small cotton wool ball and a light pressure from his dad. Using his free hand to fish into his pocket, Tony revealed a green Paw Patrol sticker with Peter’s favourite character, Rocky, on it.

It had been a distant memory since the young boy had handed it to him, having spotted the numerous nicks and cuts that littered his hard working hands after a long day in the workshop. Extremis meant Peter wouldn’t even need it, but the placebo effect would make it worth it.

“Am I all better, daddy?” Peter asked as Tony eyed him up once more. The overwhelmed father cupped his kid’s face and planted another kiss on his forehead, relief washing over him that he was now free from the concatenation of medical instrumentation.

“You most certainly are. And that means we get to skedaddle out of here.”

Before his son could anticipate his next move, his father had scooped him up into his arms and they were making their way not only out of the room, but off of the floor for good.

They’d had a chance to change into matching casual wear and feasted on a huge breakfast before snuggling up on the sofa. Peter had selected an Octonauts movie to watch as he tucked into his father’s side and enjoyed the sound of his steady heartbeat.

It would be a couple of hours when Tony’s phone pinged with a notification he knew was F.R.I.D.A.Y. when she was being discreet. His son huffed at the movement as he shuffled to get the phone out of his pocket, muttering an apology to his kid before opening the message.

[Unfortunate accident on the Hawk’s Nest, Route 97. Vehicle crossed the barrier and rolled multiple times down the cliff’s edge before landing in the Delaware River. Initial scan from one of the Iron Sight Bot #364 shows one survivor.]

Tony’s smirk widened into a full blown smile. Peter’s heart-of-gold eyes suddenly on him, looking up from his position. It was likely a silent protest at the lack of head strokes he was suddenly receiving so the genius replied swiftly.

[Call off any emergency services and get him med-evaced here.]

“You know what I think we need. Celebratory cheeseburgers for lunch,” he announced as Peter let out a squee of joy.

[nonbinarybrainstorm]

PLEASE, do some spicy megarod fic!!!

It’s been 84 years and I am so sorry for how long this took me but life just keeps happening you know?

Additional content: remote control sex toy, exhibitionism, kinda rough sex

It’s a pretty average day on the Lost Light which is to say at least three fires had to be put out and at least five fights had to be broken up but thankfully no one has been injured so it’s been a pretty good day as these things go. Today is one of those days that both Megatron and Rodimus take the bridge to oversee the crew and tend to navigation. There has been nothing of particular note within the past few hours, so Megatron has been spending some time working on paperwork on his datapad. He makes a brief note of a report Rodimus sends him that he finally finished for him to file away later and looks back at his work. A few moments later, however, he gets another message from Rodimus which he finds unusual enough to take a close look at it. The message doesn’t have any greeting, formal or otherwise which is already odd but further in he sees a program of some kind that appears to change the level of something.

Under the control-program reads a short note that reads: “Wanna try it out?”

If that wasn’t ominous enough, Rodimus doesn’t seem to be anticipating anything, no, he’s just working at his console, bored as ever. Megatron looks back at the program, suspicion, and curiosity warring in his spark until the curiosity finally wins out and he glides his finger over the screen until the curved indicator bar is filled just enough to keep whatever this was at a low setting. It’s green for now but will likely appear red at much higher setting but -for now- he keeps an eye out for whatever this might be. He ignores the strange mechanism for a while, getting more work done and pushing the concern he had been feeling away since it was clearly nothing that had an immediate effect. Whatever it was, it could wait.

After finishing the last report he had for the day, he looks back at the ridiculous thing Rodimus had sent him and decides to set it to a higher level. Again, no immediate effect. He sighs and with nothing better to do, set it to an even higher level and when there’s still no effect, he turns it all the way up. There’s a strange noise just ahead of him and when he turns to look, Rodimus is partially hunched over his console, still working but his hands are moving a bit erratically over the controls. Megatron figures that Rodimus probably made the noise and for the sake of conformation, he lowers the level again, all the way into the green. Rodimus visibly relaxes and manages to get back to work normally as though nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. Intrigued, Megatron tries ramping up the level again slowly, all the way until the bar was at its peak in the red and then he cuts it off completely, making the bar turn gray. As the intensity increased, Rodimus’s vents became more labored and his movements more erratic and when everything is turned off he makes a noise of complete frustration. Megatron is pretty sure he knows what’s going on now, his suspicions leaving him both amused and annoyed. Of course, Rodimus would do something so inane and he’s not sure why he’s surprised really. Perhaps it’s because this is something he’s never connected with Rodimus or perhaps he just never expected Rodimus to be such an exhibitionist. In retrospect, he really should have seen something like this coming, after all, it’s just the right kind of risk that Rodimus would take. That’s his idea of fun anyhow.

Feeling rather spontaneous and letting his annoyance influence his actions, he moves the bar up and down in rhythm in the lower setting to simulate pulses in the device that is undoubtedly in Rodimus’s valve. It has an immediate effect on him. Rodimus stops all movement and tenses against the controls, trying to overcome the sensations stimulating his valve but very clearly failing. Eventually, Megatron has mercy on the poor mech and turns the thing all the way off. Even then, Rodimus doesn’t recover immediately. Shakily, he straightens himself out and steadies his vents before closing up everything he was working and starts to turn around. In order to feign innocence, Megatron looks back at his datapad, pretending that he didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Rodimus clears his intake and Megatron looks up at him like he’d just been called out of working on a report.

“Yes, Rodimus,” Megatron says, keeping his voice flat and bored despite the amusement that was suddenly bubbling up at the expense of Rodimus.

“I don’t think I’m feeling very good,” Rodimus vents out breathlessly and if Megatron didn’t know what just happened he’d believe him, the speedster does indeed look very out of sort, “I think I’m gonna head out early if that’s okay.”

As soon as the words are out of Rodimus’s mouth, Megatron swipes over his datapad and cranks up the vibrator to its max level, making Rodimus buckle and fall to his knees with a wide-eyed look. His gaze snaps up to Megatron, shock and something akin to betrayal written on his face.

“Yes, it does seem you are rather unwell,” Megatron keeps his face firm despite wanting nothing more than to laugh a little at his distressed co-captain, “It’s a few minutes before the end of our shift anyhow so there should be no issue.”

As Megatron walks up to Rodimus, he turns off the vibrator and then helps Rodimus onto his pedes.

“What are you doing?” Rodimus hisses, leaning heavily onto Megatron despite himself. He can’t use his legs fully no matter how much he may want to, far too overworked and turned on.

“I’m helping you to your room,” Megatron gives him a half shrug and smug look that makes Rodimus grit his denta, “You’re clearly too unwell to get there on your own.”

“Yeah, okay,” Rodimus mutters, side-eyeing Megatron as they head off the bridge.

On their way out, Megatron nods to the next mechs to take the bridge and continues down the hall, supporting Rodimus all the way to his habsuite. Once there, Rodimus turns on him as best he can with his legs still wobbly from the stimulation from earlier. His expression is turbulent and Megatron can’t help the smirk that finally breaks his composure which only sets Rodimus off.

“You knew what you were doing you complete ass,” Rodimus spits venomously but it doesn’t have as great of an impact with him still half limp in Megatron’s arms.

“I’m assuming that the message wasn’t for me then?” Megatron rumbles out in a low chuckle, “I didn’t know what it was, honestly.”

“No, it was supposed to go to Drift,” Rodimus mumbles, embarrassment taking over his bravado, “We help each other out sometimes. Nothing wrong with that. And it doesn’t seem you had any trouble figuring out what it was.”

“No, but it was you who decided to try something so foolish on the bridge of all places,” Megatron scolds, still amused by Rodimus’s mild distress, “Drift could have easily done far more and then where would you have been?”

“Drift knows my limits!” Rodimus insists adamantly and flails his hands out in emphasis, accidentally hitting the datapad still in Megatron’s hand in the process.

His hand manages to hit just in the right way so that the vibrator still in his valve is set immediately to its highest setting, shocking him into an intense overload and making him collapse fully into Megatron’s arms. Megatron scrambles to keep him from falling to the floor and winds up completely encompassing Rodimus in his arms. He can feel the static prickling Rodimus’s plating as charge ripples through him, tickling his own frame and causing something to stir within him. Rodimus’s face contorts into one of complete bliss as he digs his fingers into Megatron, trying to find purchase on something. The touch hits some sensitive seams and let’s little sparks of charge arc across them, making Megatron shudder and forcing his grip on Rodimus tighter, feeling his heated plating in full. AS Rodimus comes down from his intense overload, his eyes crack open slowly and he looks up at Megtron with a far softer expression than anything Megatron has ever received from him. Something about it makes Megatron swallow thickly, unable to look away, losing himself in the tenderness of it. With what little strength he has left, Rodimus hikes himself up and crashes his lips against Megatron’s. Lost in the wave of feelings and the very feeling of Rodimus in his arms, he lets himself be guided to the berth and laid down. Rodimus breaks the kiss and lifts himself up so he’s straddling Megatron and disengages his modesty panel, revealing his oversensitive valve and he pulls out the pink vibrator that’s still softly buzzing in Rodimus’s hand. When Rodimus begins lowering his hips to grind against Megatron, Megatron’s mind suddenly catches up with what’s happening and he brings up his hands to stall Rodimus’s hips, keeping them just above the panel over his spike housing.

“Rodimus, you don’t want this,” Megatron gasps out, his voice laced with static, “You’re just caught up in the feeling in your valve.”

Rodimus makes a frustrated groan and throws himself forward to balance himself on Megatron’s shoulders, his optics burning with lust and aggravation.

“You really think that’s the first time I’ve ever had a vibrator in my valve while working with you on the bridge?” Rodimus’s grip on his shoulders tightens as his arms begin to shake with equal parts frustration and exertion.

“I…” Megatron genuinely doesn’t know what to say to that, “Why?”

“The exciting part wasn’t that I might get caught, the exciting part was that I might get caught by you. I never thought I could just send the control to you and now you’re here,” Rodimus gasps, rapidly shifting from aggravated to desperate, “Please don’t tell me it’s that you don’t want me.”

“Rodimus, are you sure?” Megatron’s grip tightens on Rodimus’s hips, still unsure of the speedster.

“Yes,” Rodimus insists harshly and overcomes Megtron’s grip to grind roughly against him, “Now pressurize for me.”

Megatron chokes down a gasp as his body responds before he can to Rodimus’s command, his voice darker and for more dominating than he’s ever heard the speedster sound. There’s no more time for second-guessing as Rodimus grinds his hot, wet valve against the underside of Megatron’s spike, sending waves of pleasure through his system. Then Rodimus lifts his hips to the tip of Megatron’s spike and rubs it against his node and Megatron can feel his hips twitch under his hands. Rodimus lines Megatron’s spike up to his valve and begins lowering himself.

“Rodimus wait, you’re going too fast-”

Before Megatron can finish his thought, Rodimus slams down his hips, taking his spike all in one goal, forcing a gasp from Megatron who grips at Rodimus tightly as he’s overcome by the sensation of a hot valve around his spike.

Rodimus chuckles low in his chest as Megatron recovers, “Megs, I’m wet enough right now I could take a Metro-titan.”

“I would never recommend anything so ambitious,” Megatron gasps out between vents as he gathers himself.

Before Megatron can fully recover, Rodimus starts riding his spike, throwing his head back in pleasure while gripping Megatron’s hands that are still firmly on his hips. Megatron slides his hands free and starts rubbing along Rodimus’s thighs, taking pleasure in the feeling of the warm, smooth plating under his touch. Rodimus then leans back and balances his with his hands on Megatron’s knees, just moving his hips off and on Megatron’s thick spike. His movements become faster and faster, already trying to work himself into another overload. Megatron stalls his movements with a firm hold on his hips, making Rodimus groan in frustration and level annoyed optics at Megatron who ignores it as he sits up. Once up, he pulls Rodimus free who begins to protest and panic that perhaps Megatron wanted to stop but is quickly silenced when he finds his back pressed up against Megatron’s chest. He then flips them over with Rodimus’s face firmly pressed to the berth and his hands under him to keep him from being pushed all the way down. As Rodimus begins to ask what he’s doing, Megatron slides his spike back into his valve slowly, effectively cutting off anything Rodimus had to say.

“You were going too fast,” Megatron scolds with a low laugh, “it was going to be over before it even really began.”

Megatron thrusts into Rodimus slowly and indulgently, savoring the wet feeling of Rodimus’s valve and his hot frame tucked tightly against his frame. Rodimus is completely trapped beneath his powerful frame and at his mercy which is a sensation that Rodimus never thought he’d like so much. The large spike stretching him drags and rubs over all the right places and he can’t remember the last time he’s felt so full. With the pace kept slow and gentle, Rodimus almost feels taken care of, like this is just for him and with the tight embrace, he feels so safe, secure, and warm and he can’t help but sink into the feeling. This isn’t how he thought this would go. He was expecting just rough and fast interfacing with Megatron, a chance for the ex-warlord to show off his strength and completely destroy him but this is different. Megatron is slowly working him to overload, dragging it out so he can really feel it and showing off his strength not by pinning Rodimus down as he roughly frags him but by holding him down wholly and completely so he can’t do anything but feel.

Megatron sinks his denta into Rodimus’s neck cables and growls low, sending vibrations through Rodimus’s entire frame, making him cry out and dig his hands into the berth. Gradually, Megatron speeds up the pace, keeping his denta firmly on Rodimus’s neck. The feelings are all overwhelming and Rodimus crashes into another overload, bringing Megatron along with him and sighs at the feeling of hot transfluid spilling into him. They stay like that for a moment longer, then Megatron brings them both and sits back against a while with Rodimus still tucked against his chest, his spike slowly depressurizing from Rodimus’s valve making him twitch and sigh.

“Well that was different,” Rodimus hums as he barries his face into Megatron’s chest.

“Would it kill you to try flattery every once in a while?” Megatron grumbles but it lacks any real bite.

“Well you’re a confident one aren’t you?” Rodimus chuckles.

Megatron rolls his eyes and lets the matter go but still mutters, “Brat.”

“Heh, yeah,” Rodimus says with a yawn, “Love you too.”

They both tense and Rodimus’s gaze snaps up to Megatron, his face flushed.

“I mean…” Rodimus begins but knows the damage has already been done.

Megatron pulls Rodimus up to him and kisses him, and Rodimus flails a bit before fully realizing what’s happening and sinks into the kiss.

“The feeling is mutual,” Megatron vents over Rodimus’s lips with smug smile.

Rodimus rolls his optics, feigning indifference even though he’s obviously delighted, “Oh, bite me.”

Megatron holds Rodimus to him and rumbles lowly into his neck, “With pleasure.”

[oohfluffy]

DDND Ch.20 | KJI

Group: EXO

Member: Kim Jongin

Theme: Fluff | Angst | Dancer!AU | Dormmmate!AU

Word Count: 2,028

❀ Chapter 20: Tell Me ❀

"Noona?"

"Dear?"

Was I used?

"Noona!"

You blinked, focusing your sight in front of you. Taeyong and Aunt Ji Hyo were looking at you with worried expressions.

"Are you okay, dear? Are you feeling unwell? Should we just take you home?" Aunt Ji Hyo reached for your hand when you flinched away, making her stop.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm fine. I..." You slowly glanced outside where Kai was.

"Was it about Mr. Kim? Do you know him, noona?" Taeyong asked, tracing your stare outside. You turned to him, bringing a forced smile on your lips.

"N-No. No, I-I don't know him." You replied.

"Well then, let's eat now before the food turns cold." Aunt Ji Hyo said cheerfully, grinning at the meal before her.

"Thank you for the food."

You slightly bowed.

"You're not okay, noona."

You leaned your head on the window as the car moves out of the parking. Aunt Ji Hyo sat in front beside the driver while the two of you at the back.

"How'd you know, Tae?" You mumbled back, your warm breath fogging up the window.

"You're my sister, of course I'll know these kinds of things." Taeyong leaned his head on your shoulder as he wrapped his arm around yours, giving you warmth. "Now, why is my noona sad?"

You closed your eyes, your hand reaching out for your brother's in comfort.

"I'm confused, Tae." You whispered, leaning your head back on his head. Taeyong just kept quiet, waiting until you tell him everything that's bothering you. "Very confused."

"We..." You trailed off, gathering enough courage to speak. "...don't really have a label. He said he likes me but what does that even mean? Should I just assume that we're in a relationship already or should I just ignore it and wait for him to say it? I don't know what to think."

Taeyong quietly peaked at your face. Your cheeks were slightly red, your eyes closed and your lips were trembling.

"Noona..." Taeyong whispered.

"He-He told me..." You breathed in and out, trying to refrain a frustrated cry come out of you. "...that he doesn't want me to misunderstand. He doesn't want to see my eyes turn dim. That he doesn't want to let me see him that way."

"But how can I misunderstand if I don't understand anything at all? I'm getting down without any reason, I feel so stupid about that. What way is he exactly saying?"

You sighed, opening your eyes to find your younger brother looking at you with his soft eyes.

"And now, I just figured out he's someone important. Maybe not only for me but for others too."

"He's not really my dancer..."

I promised that I'll always see him that way but why am I being like this?

I'm scared.

You quickly blinked away the triggered tears as the car stopped in front of your dorm.

"We're here, dear." Aunt Ji Hyo said, glancing at the both of you.

"Y-Yes. Thank you for sending me back home, Aunt Ji Hyo, ahjusshi and Taeyong." You opened the door, slightly bowing at them as you got out of the car. Taeyong was still looking at you with his sparkling eyes.

"Be a good boy, Tae." You ruffled his hair with a smile. You waved at them after you closed the door, watching as the car gets out of your sight.

Why did I even let myself be transparent about such thing to my brother?

As expected, Kai wasn't around when you got inside the dorm.

"Welcome home, Lin. Kai's not with you?" Aunt Sunny asked as she walked down the stairs. You shook your head with a smile. "I thought you went out toget—"

"I guess he has something important to attend to." You mumbled, taking off your shoes and bringing them upstairs with you.

Aunt Sunny watched how you trudged up the stairs with a lonely aura.

"I wonder what's going on with those two?" She muttered under her breath, shaking her head in confusion.

"We'll get going now, Auntie!" Sanha cheerfully said as he and Eunwoo got down. Aunt Sunny just waved them off with a grin.

"Auntie..." Eunwoo called out before he got out of the front door. Aunt Sunny looked at him. "Is noona okay?"

"Why are you asking that?"

"She was close into tears when we bumped onto her earlier. At first, I thought she just had dirt in her eye because she said so but I realized..." Eunwoo looked at the ceiling as if he can see you through it.

"It's a very cliché reason, right?"

♫ ❧ ♫ ❧ ♫ ❧ ♫ ❧ ♫

A day after, you're spending the day focused on work, or trying to focus on work, when Minseok, your boss, announced something.

"The whole crew will have a summer outing this weekend. I hope you keep your schedule clear for it."

That made everyone surprised but at the same time, excited and happy.

"Is it mandatory to go?" You silently asked Jongdae, who was writing on a clipboard.

"Why, Lin-ah? You won't come?"

"Uhm. I was thinking that—"

"No, sir! This girl is coming!" Tiffany butted in, clinging her arm on your neck. You grunted in protest but Joohyuk joined in.

"It might be the last outing we'll have since I'll be leaving in 2 weeks." Joohyuk added, his lower lip jutting out like a kid. You huffed, rolling your eyes because the two have teamed up again against you.

"Argh. Fine. I'll go."

Tiffany triumphantly pumped a fist into the air while Joohyuk grinned.

"So, everyone's going?" Minseok asked with a cheerful voice, clasping his hands together.

"Hell yeah!" Mark cheered, bumping hips with the others in excitement.

"This will be our first summer outing with you guys since you're part-timers and the young ones in the crew but let's not bring the stress and books from school, alright?" Minseok reminded, patting the young part-timers backs with a smile.

"Yes, sir!" They chorused.

"Good! Let's have fun this weekend!"

Tiffany brought the curtains down as Joohyuk put the chairs up on the tables while you wiped the counters and check the appliances.

"I think this will be a relaxing outing for you though."

Your head turned to Joohyuk, who stood in front of the counter. You chuckled as you shook your head.

"Sure. I hope so." You mumbled.

"You're troubled." He stated, making you stop from cleaning. Your hands stopped moving as you looked down on them.

"Is it obvious?"

"Very."

Joohyuk turned around and leaned on the counter, making you face his broad back.

"Won't you tell it to me, buddy?"

You bit your lip, clenching your hands on the towel you're holding.

"I-I'll be fine."

I hope I will...

"Oh, Lin! My brother's been asking about you. I think he wants to meet you." Tiffany suddenly exclaimed, startling you.

"M-Meet me?" You stuttered, getting nervous all of a sudden.

"I love you."

You shook your head as you remember the jaw-dropping words that came out of his mouth before you got out.

"He must have something to say. I don't know about that boy. You should text him." Tiffany shrugged as she walked towards you and Joohyuk. Who stayed still.

"Maybe he'll already admit that he likes you." Joohyuk said with a bored tone. You can't react with what he said.

What if it's true? What am I supposed to do? Aish! Why did these things start to pile up in my mind?! I'm going crazy!

"S-Stop kidding around. Let's just go home." You answered, placing the towel back on the sink near the place before getting your bag from the locker area.

As you locked the back door and the front door, Tiffany suddenly turned to you.

"Hey."

"Yeah?" You tilted your head at her as her eyes stared at yours with worry.

Why is she acting like this now?

"I-I just have a feeling he'll do something stupid tomorrow, so..." She mumbled as she started speaking. Joohyuk was walking ahead of you but he was doing it slowly, so you can catch up.

Did Tiffany unnie tell him to go ahead since we'll talk?

"My little brother has been alone for a long time. Trying to live with his own money, working his ass off for college, living his life in a lonely apartment, I don't know what to do with him." Tiffany bit her lip.

"But then he found you."

Your eyes widened as you slowly figured what Tiffany's trying to tell you.

"I'm not pushing you to like him back since I know you have someone you like already. But please don't hurt him more." Tiffany cried.

She's crying for his brother.

I feel useless. I can't assure her. I can't do anything.

"S-Sehunnie's not being himself. I tried asking him about what his problem but..." She shook her head. "...he just smiled at me. It wasn't the smile he usually gives. It hurts me."

"I figured that he knew how the one he has fallen in love with, has fallen for someone else." Tiffany looked down at her feet. "That made it much more unbearable. That kind of pain is the worst."

"Please don't let him hope for more, Lin. He's been silent about it but of course, as his older sister, I can't just watch him hurting like that." Tiffany slightly bowed at you.

You stared at the back of her head with a blank stare. It's like you were hit by a truck.

You can't move.

You can't speak.

You can't do anything.

"I-I..."

"I'm so..."

"I'm so sorry..."

You bowed at her before quickly running away as you saw the lights that came from the black Audi you've once dreamed of.

I didn't know I was hurting him.

Your tears flowed as you quietly walked your way home. Your heart felt heavy as well as your shoulders, it's like you're carrying a huge baggage.

Sehun is a precious friend that you don't want to lose like Joohyuk and Tiffany.

What am I supposed to do?

Joohyuk stopped walking as he heart your hurried footsteps. He slowly turned around with his arms wide open as if he knew you would need it as soon as you ran towards him.

You let your arms wrapped around his waist as you buried your face in his warm jacket. Your tears didn't stop from falling, making it harder for you to breathe. Your hands clenched around the fabric of his jacket as you sobbed on his chest.

"Shh. Let it all out, buddy." Joohyuk whispered, leaning his head down as he caressed your hair.

He just stayed quiet as your sobs were the only sounds you both can hear from the empty street. He didn't stop rubbing your back while you cried your heart out.

All the stress, negative thoughts, problems, and feelings that you kept inside alone, you've let them all out as you cried.

"Let's go home."

♫ ❧ ♫ ❧ ♫ ❧ ♫ ❧ ♫

11:37 pm

From: Oh Handsome Sehun

I'll pick you up tomorrow after your shift. I want to tell you something. Goodnight.

You closer your eyes as you read the message.

You don't know what will happen tomorrow with your meeting with Sehun. Whatever he's gonna tell you, you'll understand everything.

You just don't know if you'll accept.

You heard a door closed outside, making you wonder if he already got home.

"I miss you already. What have you done to me?" You mumbled, turning off your lights after opening the lamp on. You glanced at the door.

Should I check on him?

Despite everything you've been thinking today, Kai has this space in your heart and mind that you can't possibly forget if he's well or not. You can't help but to worry about him.

Why am I even worrying?

You shook your head as you saw your hand was already at the door knob.

"If he wants to tell me something about himself, he should tell it to me himself." You muttered, walking back to your bed.

"Hurry, my devil dancer. Tell me everything. I'll be waiting."

—

❀ Ch.21

[novelelitist]

Could you do Lancer Arturia and Lancer Arturia Alter headcanons with a master who is very clearly and obviously attracted to her (getting flustered when she comes near and not making eye contact with her) but doesn't want to say anything about it?

As a matter of fact I could do this thing! She and her alter are fairly similar, but I’m just going to use one name because I’m lazy.

Lancer (Artoria Pendragon) by Former Pixiv Id 17034744 (Source)

Lancer Arturia Oblivious to Master’s Attraction

The Goddess:

Whether training or fighting for her life, Arturia gives her all to every fight. Watching a goddess ravage a battlefield is breathtaking, and a sight that few fortunate masters have the opportunity to experience. 

In battle the Goddess Rhongomyniad is never stagnant. She and her mount move in complete sync and strike with precision. They fly over the battlefield and cascade the light of judgment to every unworthy foe.

“Filth within cannot be washed away as it can on skin.”

It pains her to be the one to cast the harsh judgment of a being greater than herself, but she is a vessel for the heavens nonetheless. It is an honor to carry this burden.

“This is the punishment for my own transgressions. My word is law, and yet the choice is not mine to make.”

While it is horribly inappropriate, you’ve found yourself fantasizing about Arturia doing some pretty raunchy things with Rhongomyniad. 

But how could you not dream of such a strong, stoic woman?

Her will is unbreakable. Her strength is unmatched. The gentle features of her face have been hardened by war, and yet she is still soft. 

Her love of people may show differently in this form, but protecting Camelot is still her dream.

Is Clueless:

It strikes you that this Arturia is too much for any mortal to handle. 

There’s not a chance in heaven or on Earth that she’s going to care about your feelings. She’s grown beyond human emotions. 

Oh, the horror. This is the worst timeline.

Pacing back and forth through Chaldea’s halls. Thoughts racing. There has to be something you can do to cease this feeling that pounds in your chest whenever she–

“Master, are you alright?”

Ohgodohgodohgod. Don’t look at her. She will crush your soul into tiny little pieces of justice dust. Dustice.

“You are peaked. Shaking.”

“Am I?” You laugh too loud. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“You appear to be unwell, Master. Allow me to escort you to Dr. Roman.”

Arturia reaches for your arm. You flinch out of the way, cringing where she almost touched you. Though she has held you so many times in battle, this is different. This is on your home turf, in a public setting that doesn’t involve you almost dying or fighting but you’re pretty sure you’re still dying please let someone kill you right now.

“No, I’m fine. Really. Don’t worry about it. Thank you. All good in the hood. You know. Just a little tired. Blood sugar’s low. Hungry. Nothing major.” You step back. She steps forward. “Oh wow, would you look at the time. Better go get lunch! HaHAHAHahah.” 

Her icy breath is on your face. Though you turned to face the wall, her suffocating gaze remains locked.

You inhale a sharp breath and your voice goes up two octaves. “Gods have no mercy. I am ready to die.”

Arturia tilts her head, bringing her lips to your face. “I am afraid I must insist that you allow me to assist you,” she whispers into your bright red ear. “I realize this may be embarrassing for you, as you are the master of many powerful servants. But there is no shame in asking for help, Master.”

Your heart stops. Her words are crisp and clear and her Ps do a perfect pop that sends goosebumps up your arms.You stumble backwards, incapable of forming a coherent thought, and slump against the wall. Defeat was imminent.

She locks one arm under your legs and the other behind your back despite the whining struggle you put up and the pathetic whimpering of a master possessed. She shakes her head at you as you curl up into her armor. 

“Relax, Master. I will ensure no other servants are aware of your condition. Please trust me to take care of you.”

[simplyotome]

LEON’S SEASON 2 THOUGHTS + SPOILERS BC WOW HOW CAN I NOT TALK ABOUT THIS??

I had this post in the works for days but finally getting to it. 

Might as well just add a ‘keep reading’ tab because who knows? Some fans might not have the story yet and I don’t want to ruin anything. 

Let’s not kid ourselves, I’ve been more than ready for this story and honestly, the first time reading it...it hit me like a bus. I couldn’t keep up because DRAMA plus Voltage finally gave it after eons of teasing.

Plus Leon’s my bias god so...

I swear I had to read this story twice just to comprehend it and like pinch myself in between slides that it’s real.

ANYWAYS!

MOVING ON!

MY REACTIONS A MESS. It’s just as jumbled up as I typed it way back when. But I just am too lazy to change it. 

This story just shot of the gate. Voltage wasn’t pulling punches. They said it’d be “epic” and they were right. The drama chart just hit a peak with Leon’s main stories. 

Plus we’re barely into the second chapter when things go nsfw with the love making holy jesus i was like woahhh but im here for it

But I’m also here for those sweet love confessions. 

Leon’s always like “words aren’t enough to convey how the depth of my love for you” but sweet talk me away

ANYWAYS 

PLOT TIME

It’s crazy that Leon is the next candidate for being the King of the Heavens with this Heaven’s Rift thing. He doesn’t care for it. But hey ho guess what MC is in the way of the plan so basically it’s time to elope.

They hide (?? because it’s in MC’s apartment which is a secret known to everybody at this point) from the King and his new controlled cohorts. But I love the domestic fluff man. Aside from threat of death aside this was cute af. But come on!! Leon stealing meatballs was so adorable!!!! Plus being smug as fuck while doing it, man what a guy. It’s hard to be mad. 

I was reeeeeally hoping I’d see or read something about Leon being in a kimono but there was nothing. But I guess I can go to Hakuouki and find Leon’s VA voice a character in a kimono so I guess I can live. This blog shamelessly promotes Hakuouki btw. 

BUT we do meet up with MC’s mother. Which was short but nice. Leon not putting up his usually haughty airs and genuinely happy to know how loved MC is--though he does mentioning loving MC more which I’m like yesss 

NOW THIS BRINGS UP THAT IMAGE VOLTAGE TEASED OUT.

Of course when I saw MC with the knife during that first teaser CG, I knew she was being controlled. Fucking called that shit.

BUT I DIDN’T EXPECT HER TO GUT HERSELF.

I WAS MORTIFIED and also impressed because she had the willpower to do it. MC I’m sorry if I ever doubted you.

BUT 

THE MENTION OF LEON SCREAMING.

HOLY FUDGE. THAT GAVE ME CHILLS!

HE’S NEVER DONE THAT. EVER. 

AND HE KNOWS HE CAN’T DO ANYTHING TO HEAL HER. 

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUNDS OF MUSIC LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

I LOVED THAT ANGST! 

NOT ONLY THAT, IN THE END TO SAVE HER LIFE, LEON GIVES MC ONE OF THE STARS IN HIS EYES TO LIVE AND SEPARATES HIMSELF FROM HER.

Side note: I love how he address how much he loves her before they part.

Because he admits her falling under the King’s control wasn’t because of her doubting her love for him, but rather: she was torn between her love for him and the those she loved on earth. Especially when she had nightmares of their lives were threatened. Her compassionate heart is a strength and he acknowledges it and I was so incredibly moved.

BUT YO TO MOVE FORWARD:

THIS FUCKING CG

I WAS LIKE WHAAAT???

I ALWAYS WONDERED ABOUT THIS

SURE IT’S THE OPENING VIDEO

BUT HOLY FUCK WHAT A MOVE

VOLTAGE I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

I was tearing up. Goddamn.

I also have to do a shout out to the other gods honestly.

This story wouldn’t have ended so nicely had they all not found MC, who was stuck on earth after being separated from Leon and without any memory of him or the other gods.

I expected the Department of Wishes would want things to work out for Leon, of course being his Department, but the Department of Punishments guys stepping up? Wow, even Zyglavis, a man who is disgusted with Leon more than anyone, defended Leon and MC’s relationship.

Heaven was hell without Leon’s love for MC. 

They all knew it and there was no choice to reunite them because they were stronger together.

Wingmen. All of them. And they bring her up while she doesn’t even have a clue who they are or who Leon is. 

I’m a sucker for amnesia plots, guys. I just gotta confess it now. Finding out the King had taken Leon and MC’s memories of each other was great. And that part when they reunite in heaven and look at each other with no clue who the other is...that was my jam. GRAB ME MY TWO SLICES TWELVE GRAIN BREAD. LET ME MAKE A SANDWICH OF THIS. I’LL GOBBLE IT UP.  I’m simple ok? I live for this kind of drama. 

BUT WAIT: MC IS PREGNANT???

The gods berated MC for not “seeing the signs” but fuck you guys I didn’t expect that! Sure she felt unwell and had a minor episode of feeling sick, but I thought that was from fucking sticking herself in with a knife??? Obviously???

I was surprised the child survived!

A miracle indeed.

Which underlines what Leon and MC’s relationship is. As a god and human, truly, a relationship born of that.

Surprisingly I got the happy end which was honestly one of my favorite parts because everyone is getting a long. I love how each god is looking after MC and even more worried about her because she’s with a child.

OH BUT THIS BEAUTIFUL CG THOUGH:

WAITING FOR THIS SEASON 2 WAS WORTH IT!

I need to see new official Leon art in his new attire now!!

ALSO shout out to MC! I loved that MC’s tenacity to work still showed in the Happy Ending!! Being pregnant won’t stop her! Ha, love it. 

So was this a good story?

Yes, I personally thought it was! The more I read it, the more I like it! 

The ending is very sweet. Almost a bit bitter for me because there’s so much changing. The prior King is dead. I’m going to miss his trickster ways. But hey fuck it: Leon and MC are married! And the gods are having a great time!

AAAND THAT’S ALL I GOT

THANKS FOR READING

GOOD NIGHT

[pinkforyoongi]

Unrequited | Jungkook | part 2

Jungkook x reader

Angst, slight smut

Warnings: ^ “slight smut” (in part 1), swearing, mentions of anxiety

Word count: 2712

pt. 1

The current movie playing on my TV was already a lost cause. It was half way through and I hadn't paid attention to it for more than the first 2 minutes. It couldn't have been any more ironic as it was about a girl in love with a boy who was in love with another girl. Even though there was no other girl in my situation, I felt sick to my stomach watching it. The bowl of popcorn lies untouched on my lap and I chew on the flesh of my cheek unconsciously instead.

Surprisingly enough, life had gone on for four days now to be exact. Jungkook had acted like nothing ever happened and it broke me even more. Not that my heart wasn't already torn into tiny pieces.

"This is so unrealistic."

My mind is brought back to reality by Jungkook's sudden comment. My head snaps into his direction and I blink a few times to focus back on current time.

"How so?" I force myself to ask him. I was the least bit interested in his opinion at the moment, as harsh as it sounds. I couldn't help myself, but to be a little angry at him, even though he was still as clueless as ever. But more than that, I was the angriest at myself. I pop a small popcorn into my mouth to create the illusion I was fine.

"The protagonist is so dumb. Can't she just get the hint to back off? She could have at least told the guy she loved him." Jungkook shakes his head. I accidentally choke on a piece of popcorn as I heard what he just said. I start coughing unattractively.

Jungkook notices and starts patting on my back.

"Jesus, can you be careful with those things? I don't want you to die just yet." he winks and smirks at me.

Usually I would have teased him back, but I couldn't even force myself to do that. I wanted to hit him, yell him about what a dick he was being and leave his sorry ass behind, but for some reason, I couldn't find myself even considering that option. I was still very aware of the fact that he thought I agreed when he said he thinks we're too different to start a relationship. I was the one who made him think that way. I was the one who hurt myself in the process by making a stupid decision.

So instead, I stare at him dead in the eyes and manage to swallow the piece of popcorn stuck on my throat. Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, most probably surprised he didn't hear a witty comeback from me.

"Are you feeling okay (Y/N)? You've seemed a little off this whole day."

"Actually, I do have a slight headache." I see my chance to put up an excuse for my forced behavior. I place my fingers on my temples, attempting to soothe the non existent headache.

"Shit, why didn't you tell me?" Jungkook gets up from the couch and walks towards his kitchen.

"I- I didn't want to bother you with my problems." I quietly mutter under my breath. Every lie that I told him made me regretful right after the words had left my mouth, but I still kept doing it. I saw it as a form of defense.

"(Y/N), sometimes you worry me because you never tell me when you're unwell." he shouts from the kitchen as I can hear some shuffling and rattling. 

I let out a huff, shaking my head at myself. I was so stupid for letting my heart still race at the smallest caring gestures he did for me. It was nothing special, but he managed to make me feel like it was, like I was special. He just had that kind of an effect on people.

Jungkook soon comes back to the living room. He hands me a glass of water and a painkiller before sitting back down next to me on the couch. I can't help but notice the way his thigh brushes against mine, and I instantly regret it as flashbacks of that night reappear. I visibly flinch at my thoughts, making Jungkook notice too.

"You look really sick, just swallow the pill and it should help ease the pain soon." he sighs and watches on to make sure I eat the pill. I gently place it on my tongue and drink the whole glass of water right after. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and lean back on the couch, ready to continue pretending i'm paying attention to the movie we had decided to watch. But Jungkook doesn't take his eyes off of me.

"What?" I snap at him and immediately flinch at my tone of voice.

"(Y/N) are you sure this isn't about that night?"

My eyes widen and my heart stops for a few seconds in shock. I quickly try to compose myself and clear my suddenly dry throat a few times.

"Wh- what? N- no, of course not, I just have a head ache, that's all." I manage to stutter out. He doesn't look convinced.

"Are you sure it doesn't bother you or anything?"

"Y- yes. I am sure. I promise." I mentally wince at my own words. I just couldn't find it in me to tell him the truth. I was too scared.

Thankfully he seems to buy it, although he doesn't look too convinced, but he drops the subject anyway, turning his attention back to the TV as well. As I look at him, I can't help but wonder why he's being like this. He has never been as caring and worried about my well being before. A million questions pop into my mind and I can't help but let one slip past my lips.

"Why do you suddenly care?" I ask so quietly it comes out as a whisper, but he hears it, i'm sure of it.

Jungkook doesn't take his eyes off the TV.

"Why wouldn't I care? You're my best friend."

"No, Jungkook. Why do you suddenly care so much?"

Jungkook swallows a lump in his throat and averts his eyes from the TV, but they still don't meet mine.

“I don’t know.” he admits, not daring to look at me. 

I don’t reply, not knowing what to say. We both stay quiet and watch the movie in silence, but a voice inside my head tells me neither of us paid any attention to the rest of the film.

For an entire week after that movie night, I avoided Jungkook. I avoided him at all costs. I didn’t reply to his texts or calls, I didn’t talk to him and I didn’t see him. At first he kept blowing up my phone like I had expected him to do, but then when he realized I wasn’t replying he stopped completely. I knew he knew I was okay, I had still talked to Jimin and I was pretty sure Jungkook had gone asking around about me. It was so like him.

I needed that time alone. I needed it to clear my head and thoughts. I needed to figure myself out. Two things I was sure of however; I was still in love with Jeon Jungkook and I wasn’t falling out of it. The second thing being I was still shattered, my nightly crying proving that to be a fact. I tried to distract myself, to one by one collect some pieces of my heart and place them back, but it had turned out to be utterly impossible, as cliche as it sounds. My thoughts were 24/7 occupied by him.

I fell into a loop of self pity and constant anxiety. All I did was go to work, come back home and either sit on my couch trying to focus on the TV, but failing miserably, or trying to sleep, but only managing to catch a few hours per night. Dark circles had already formed around my eyes due to my lack of sleep, but everyday I covered it up with make up, trying to lie to myself I was okay.

This day was nothing out of that ordinary. I was once again stuck sitting on my couch, staring blankly at the TV screen. I wasn’t even paying enough attention to see what show was on as I struggled to concentrate on anything. Without me even realizing, a tear slipped from the corner of my eye and rolled down my cheek. When I noticed, I quickly wiped it away and blinked my eyes to stop myself from crying any further.

Then, just at the worst moment, I heard a knock at my door. First, my head snapped to it’s direction, but I didn’t move anywhere from the couch. I just stared at the door, not wanting to go open it, whoever was behind it. Then they knocked again, louder this time and I realized this person wasn’t going to give up before I answered the door. They obviously knew I was home.

I sighed, lazily getting up from the couch and dragging myself to the door. I opened the door, only to be surprised by a heavy body falling on me. I reacted as quickly as my tired body could and caught him before he hit the floor, lifting him up enough for him to support himself on my shoulder.

“Shit, Jungkook what have you done?” I scolded when I managed to take a peak at his current state. He looked drunk, his hair messy and face swollen. The only reply I received was a low, obviously drunken chuckle. He pulled himself together enough to stand on his own and drag his eyes slowly from the floor to my face.

“Where have you been (Y/N)?” he slightly slurred. He looked hurt, which for a second made me feel guilty about ignoring him like I did. I looked down at the floor in shame.

“I’ve been gone.” I whispered, already feeling the anxiety building up just at the sight of him. 

Jungkook took a step closer to me and tilted my chin up with his fingers. I flinched at his touch and even in his obviously drunken state, he noticed. I didn’t dare to look into his eyes, but the intensity of his stare made me weak.

“Why?” he almost whispered, his face incredibly close to mine.

I stared at the ground for a while, not sure of what I should tell him.

“I- I just needed some space.” I told him. It wasn’t the entire truth, but at least I wasn’t lying anymore. 

“Then you should have just told me.” Jungkook angrily snapped at me and let go of my chin.

“I’m sorry.” was all I could say at that moment. 

“Why didn’t you stop me?”

My breath hitched in my throat and I looked up at him. I had never in my life seen him as serious as he was and it was rather intimidating, but the question that had just left his lips was making me freeze on my spot.

“Wh- what do you mean?”

Jungkook looked down and his hand came up to push some of his hair out of his face.

“That night at Jimins party. Why didn’t you stop me?” he asked as he lifted his gaze up again, desperation in his eyes. 

My mouth hung open, stunned by his question. It was the question I had been asking myself everyday ever since it had happened. It was the question I still even myself didn’t know the answer to. 

“Did you want me to?” I quietly dared to ask.

“No, but I can see you regret it.” he admitted. “It’s obvious, (Y/N). No need to hide it.”

A tear I hadn’t even noticed slipped from my eye and rolled down my cheek. I didn’t even bother to try and wipe it away anymore, I didn’t have the energy to.

“You don’t understand.” 

“What do I not understand? That you don’t feel anything towards me so you wish you’d stopped? No, I get it.” he slurred the last part and leaned his back against a wall to keep his balance. 

“I love you.” I didn’t know what it was, the general exhaustion, being tired of lying or if it was just the heat of the moment that made me say it, but I had let it slip and now there was no taking it back, no excuses and no lies.

“What?” Jungkook asked, thinking he had heard me wrong.

“I regret it because I’m in love with you.”

More tears started streaming down my face and I shut my eyes as my vision became blurred by them. I didn’t hear Jungkook say anything, I wasn’t even sure if he was breathing anymore. All I could hear were my soft sobs.

After a short while, I heard Jungkook push himself off the wall and walk closer to me. I didn’t dare to move nor open my eyes. I felt him place his cold hand against my cheek, as his thumb began to caress it, wiping away some of the tears in the process. What I didn’t expect, was the feeling of his lips press against the corner of my mouth in the softest and most careful way. He pecked the spot a few times more, before he moved to my lips, where the kiss lingered for a few seconds. At first, I didn’t kiss back out of confusion, until he slightly pulled away, only to rest his forehead against mine.

“I love you too.” he whispered loud enough for me to hear. He gave me only a few seconds to register what he had just said, before he pressed his lips back in mine. This time, I carefully kissed back, still in disbelief of his words. He seemed to notice my hesitation and pulled back again. He brushed some of my hair behind my ear and smiled.

“That night... I was so sure you wouldn’t feel the same about me that I lied.”

His eyes looked so genuine and filled with love it made my heart beat faster.

“So, I love you.” he nervously chuckled.

“I love you too.” I whispered back and pulled him into another kiss by his collar. I felt him smile into the kiss, so I did too.

As I pulled back from the kiss to breathe, Jungkook stumbled on his place, reminding me that he was still drunk. I quickly grabbed his hand which made him look down at it, and then back at my face. A blush appeared on his face and I giggled, pulling him with me towards the kitchen.

I made Jungkook sit down on a chair as I grabbed a glass, filling it with water. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time.

“Drink this.” I offered. He happily took it and drank the whole glass in one go, not once taking his eyes off of me. When he was done, he placed the glass down on the table and smiled up at me. I placed my hands around his neck and straddled his lap, all the while his hands wrapped around my waist to hold me securely. 

“We should go to sleep. You look tired.” Jungkook chuckled and pecked my lips once.

“We?”

“Well I need to sleep too.” he smirked at me, as he pushed himself up from the chair and made me wrap my legs around him. I buried my face in his neck to hide my blush, making him chuckle. He carried me all the way to my bedroom, swaying a little every once in a while, but kept insisting he was fine every time I offered to walk by myself. 

He placed me down on the bed and demanded me to get under the covers. I obliged and watched as he made his way to the other side. He jumped in next to me and immediately pulled me to his chest, kissing my forehead rather sweetly. 

“Are you gonna be here when I wake up?” I asked him out of curiosity. He looked into my eyes and without him speaking, I already knew the answer to my question.

“Yes, I’m gonna be right here.”

A/N: I’m not exactly 100% happy with this (damn writers block), but here it is ~ hope it wasn’t too disappointing haha

[malliexox]

MY B.A.P PARTY BABY- WARSAW BOOM EXPERIENCE

So... this is gonna be a lot but I can honestly say this is one of those things in my life that I’ll treasure always and never forget.

Leggo~!!

My journey for this one actually doesn’t start on the day of the concert, let’s jump back to the 5th of May, shall we? Funnily enough I’m not actually from Warsaw, or Poland for that matter. Nope, ya girl flew herself out all the way over the waters from the UK with my wonderful fellow BABY buds, Shaza & Sandy! Me and these girls have only met twice now (Sandy @ LOE once and Shaza I’ve known mutually for a couple of years now) and when I heard they were going I kinda thought “What the heck” and got myself a couple of plane tickets, a B.A.P FUN ticket and grabbed my passport. Friday was kinda a write-off for me, truly, by the time we’d arrived at our hotel I was pretty knackered. All that travelling, even if it was a short journey, made me sleepy. However, before I shoot over to the main event of my trip I gotta tell you guys about my hotel room. Aight, so we stayed in a pretty fancy place, not gonna lie, the staff were all super friendly and my room was honestly so nice. But the SHOWER thoooo. Okay so Idk if this is a normality in Poland, but my shower was in the middle of my room. No lie that thing was just smack bang in the middle. And it was perfectly aligned so my lazy ass could watch TV, look out onto Poland all whilst scrubbing my hair and humming along to B.A.P on my phone. If I miss anything about that room it’s my goddamn center shower. 

Now. Saturday though. I decided I was going to stay at the venue the entire day again, like I did for LOE. My lovelies were going sightseeing for the day so I made my way to Progresja, got my queue number and tickets for Hi-Touch & entrance and so began the long wait~ I met so many people that day. Holy heck. So firstly I made friends with these three ladies in the queue for wristbands, who had just come over from the concert in Frankfurt. We kept bumping into each other throughout the day, in queue and even after the show. A girl also came up to me, whom I’d never met, but she said she remembered me from London because of my Red Hair. Honestly I love that I have this signature hair colour. Not only does it make me feel wonderful it also makes me memorably and I find that super sweet. Thant, who I also met at LOE, found me later on in the day and it was super nice to chill with him for a bit in the sun. 

Then. Something really amazing happened. We had heard B.A.P arrive and start rehearsal but about 10 minutes in, the music stopped and suddenly they’ve come out onto the balcony to see us! Some of the fans had prepared a flash mob and came together for B.A.P to see. We all were chanting and waving to them. Youngjae was wearing a blue suit and damn did he work that, Yoo for President. Junhong also looked like a model, as always, and all of the boys kept smiling and waving at us, they clapped all the people dancing and then went back inside to continue rehearsals. 

Soon enough, we’re all in our relevant queue systems ready to go into the venue. Progresja is actually a really nice place. It’s a club turned concert hall and it was just the right size for my smol butt to see even though I didn’t have any kind of early entry. I ended up near some really super lit fans; honestly these girlies really made me shout and dance and props to them for being so hyped up even before anything had happened! 

So, shall we move onto the concert? 

DJ B.Shoo opened up for B.A.P, he had a 10 minute set and honestly, I’ve never known a DJ to hype a crowd like he did. He didn’t play solely kpop but a mix of western songs and he really knew what he was doing to make us jump and scream. Serious props to my guy, he’s super talented and I’m glad he got this platform to show his stuff. 

Then the countdown started for B.A.P. They. Rocked. It. I never remember every single song but let me break it down for y’all. The boys were on fire that night, it shows how much they loved seeing us. They did a multitude of songs from most of the eras. I finally got to see Dancing in the Rain Live, I’ve always had a soft spot for it and seeing it really made me let go and have fun! That’s My Jam, Do What I Feel(!!!) really got the crowd going, over to the sexiness of Fermanta and I Guess I Need You, to the likes of Skydive, One Shot and Wake Me Up, it was so lovely to see Yongguk especially getting the love and I’ve never heard a crowd shout so passionately for a member like that. Carnival era has always been lucky for me; Feel So Good, Be Happy and Carnival were all really fun and got us all dancing so energetically, B.A.P always know how to keep us on our toes. We also got their solo’s that night and hoh boy lemme tell you. Jongup’s was ace. I really love his song and couldn’t wait for Shaza to hear it, he’s improved so much over the years and it’s really great to see him getting his shine. Now speaking of Shine... Zelo’s solo. I’d held off as much as I could to hear it and it did not disappoint. Zelo has created a song, entirely in English, purely of his own colour. Zelo wasn’t molded from B.A.P as a vocal. He was and still is an amazing rapper. However you can tell he loves to sing, in a vocal sense and it works for him. Truly he has a lovely voice and to see him produce such a beautiful song... I’m so proud. Really I am. We then got Daehyun’s solo ft. Zelo and though I am the loyalist of Zelo stans, I think Dae’s is my fave. It’s really interesting and the way it grows to it’s peak is amazingly well produced, Daehyun’s voice mixed with Zelo’s quick fire rap really makes this song for me. Unfortunately, JaeJae didn’t have his vocal- I’m unsure if it’s a mix of him having his fan event pick, or if it was because he was pretty unwell that night but regardless he kept it going for so long and really did his best for us. The boys ended up coming out for two encores and all the confetti reminded me of London, but as always it was all over too soon. 

And then after a wait where I met two lovely Spanish girls (I was helping them understand what was happening, where we needed to be, and basically just translating for them), B.A.P Hi-Touch happened. I’m just gonna bullet point each member as clearly as I can remember...

The order was Yongguk, Zelo, Daehyun, Jongup, Himchan & then Youngjae. 

Yongguk- Okay so putting our wonderful leader first was a lot for my heart to take but I tried my best. The girl in front of me tripped a little and he was so attentive to make sure she was okay. It was really sweet to see. So she had her hi-touch and moved along and then I got to see him. Yongguk stared to my hand as I grabbed his, and I saw his eyes flicker further up my arm, and he got this really big smile on his face. For those of you who don’t know, I have a Matoki tattoo on the inside of my lower arm and I’m not saying he saw it and smiled, I’m saying he saw it and glowed. We then made eye contact again and I said thank you for being so strong and gave his hand a squeeze. He nodded with his super gummy smile and I moved along.

Zelo- Ayooooo it’s ya girl’s bias. So, I do this thing at hi-touch where I don’t just ‘clap’ their hands, I go for a full grab and squeeze their hands. Now me and Zelo, our hands freakin’ smacked together because he gives real strong hi-touches. So I’m there just squeezing his hand kinda tight and I’m telling him thank you, and how proud of him I am. And he’s staring at me with those big ol’ contact filled eyes with his hugely buff arms and honestly I coulda fainted. He was so hyped and happy and just seemed super enthusiastic about seeing us. He really made me feel honestly special and loved ^^

Daehyun- Obviously after Zelo, I’m practically shining at this point and I knew my smile was pretty big, but it was nothing compared to Daehyuns. He looked so happy! I gave his hand such a squeeze (and yes, just like I remembered his hand was so soft! ) and even though he was leaning over the barrier with his hood up nothing could dampen that smile. We both kinda said thank you in unison and he said it in almost a singsong tone, even after a full concert he was still so hyped up. 

Jongup- Honestly Jongup & Daehyun were very similar... They had the same kinda vibe about them even though they express themselves so differently. Again, I gave Jongup’s hand a squeeze and thanked him for coming. He had his little bunny smile going on and even though he seemed so shy he still quietly thanked me. I’m always so surprised when I see Jongup of just how small he is, but equally he’s got such a presence about him. 

Himchan- Okay... So... this one was a little awkward XDD Basically I went in for a full hand grab but it was just as Himmie was bringing his hand down for a second so I kinda grabbed his hand at the completely wrong angle. But it was fine! I still gave it a small squeeze, making sure my nails didn’t dig into his hand at all, because of the angle. Himmie was a lot different to last year, this time around he seemed a lot more tired. Which is totally understandable, but he was still very attentive to us, making sure to thank each and every person. He’s always stunning when I meet him. Seriously his features, I always notice something new whenever I see him. 

Youngjae- Bear in mind that our JaeJae wasn’t feeling especially well he was still trying his best when I got to him. I think he was trying not to get anyone sick but as I didn’t know at the time, I still grabbed his hand fully and gave it a small tap. I could tell he was pretty tired so I tried to give him a Daehyun worthy smile and gave him a really encouraging thank you. He gave me a pretty smile back and a little head nod and I moved along. I ended up walking backwards just to get one last look at these precious boys before I got out the door. 

And that was that, we’re pretty sure our uber to the hotel was actually right next to B.A.P’s van rushing off to the airport for most of the trip back, but that’s neither here nor there (as there’s no way we’ll know for sure if it was them). It just seems likely seeing as their sound van was right in front of this tinted windowed van... Anyways! The next day, me and Shaza & Sandy went sightseeing in Poland and it was a really lovely comedown from the hype of the previous night. Warsaw really is so relaxed and chill and they do the nicest foods and damn do I miss it. I’m so glad I had this experience and even through the stress of it all, I don’t regret it for the world. B.A.P really are special to me, to my tiny munchkin butt, and to see them for the second time a year later after my first concert with them was freakin’ wonderful. Whenever I get to see my boys, the experience is always so much more than just a concert. It’s seeing my idols do what they love on stage, it’s meeting my idols, it’s getting to know new people and seeing good friends, it’s going to a different country on a spontaneous whim of ‘I wanna’. I love these six boys and I’ll cherish them for life! 

Until we meet again, Forever With You~

Mallie xox Hugs and Kisses

[ralphmorgan-blog1]

27-Year-Old Cancer Victim Pens Open Letter That Will Make You Change The Way You Live Your Life

When Holly Butcher was 26-years-old she received some news that would change her life indefinitely. Despite being at peak physical health with plenty of ambitions to fuel her future, Holly was told she had cancer.

By January 3, Holly knew that her cancer was in its final stages. Having witnessed the turn of the New Year, the Australian native penned a heartfelt message which she posted on her Facebook page. In the open letter, she educated her friends and family on how to live their life. The following day, at 27-years-old, Holly passed away. Since being published, Holly’s letter has gone viral around the world as her words resonated deep in people’s hearts… “It’s a strange thing to realize and accept your mortality at 26 years young,” she began. “I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey – most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts,” she wrote. “That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right,” she reminded her friends and family, before adding: “I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.” Continuing, she began to provide life advice to those reading based upon what she’d learned while “pondering” the “inevitability” of her death. “I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit,” she typed. In a list, she continued to note valuable points (the letter will be posted in full at the end):

“It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days. Get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that – breathe.”

“You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling. Let all that shit go.”

“I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.”

“[Work] hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too,” she wrote, before encouraging everyone to “delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.” With regard to social media, she recommended that people “try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else. “Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more,” she added. Moving on to money, Holly advised people to be more careful about how they spend. “It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying,” she wrote. “Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.” She then went on to discuss how you should treat your friends. “Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time,” she wrote passionately.  

“Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best. Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that. Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay? Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not. Work to live, don’t live to work. Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy. Eat the cake. Zero guilt.”

“Say no to things you really don’t want to do. Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay. Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.”

“Remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable.”

Finally, she completed her open letter by asking people to regularly donate blood. “It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives!” she wrote. “Blood donation … helped keep me alive for an extra year – a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.”

The post has since attracted more than 70,000 likes from the millions of people that have seen it, meaning that Holly’s final message has been heard loud and clear around the world. Our thoughts are with Holly’s family right now who must be inconsolable after their loss, especially as it would appear that Holly was a very special character indeed. As promised, here is Holly remarkable and inspirational letter in full:

“A bit of life advice from Hol: It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts. That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right. I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands. I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared – I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit. I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most! Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days. Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that – breathe. You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling. Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more. I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise – Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them. I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it. Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being. Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away. Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more. Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people. It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives. Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them. Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister. This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on. Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit. Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water. Get amongst nature. Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else. Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females 🤔. Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises. Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best. Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that. Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay? Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not. Work to live, don’t live to work. Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy. Eat the cake. Zero guilt. Say no to things you really don’t want to do. Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay. Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have. Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true. Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind! Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple. Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year – a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life. ..’Til we meet again. Hol Xoxo”

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