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pip25 · 2 years

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As you wish

Phantom pain. An unpleasant sensation seemingly originating from a limb that’s no longer part of the body.

This phrase resurfaced in Zelgadiss’ mind time and again, ever since he and Amelia had left Saillune City towards the Kingdom of Ruvinagald. He, of course, had all of his limbs intact and was not experiencing any type of chronic pain, either – but a different sensation, the feeling of a certain weight upon him, surfaced with alarming frequency. And the source of that weight, he knew, was obviously no longer there.

He risked a glance to his right. Amelia walked next to him with a spring in her step, humming some sort of tune he could not place. Her good mood was hardly a surprise: this so-called mission of theirs not only allowed her to leave the palace behind for a while, but also let them meet up with Lina and Gourry again, and travel together for at least a week or two.

It’s been some time since they’ve returned from the Outer World, after all, he thought. If they’re especially lucky, maybe Xelloss won’t show up. One can only hope.

No, he would not bother her with this. The last thing they need is him bringing her down with his own problems. That’s not why they’re here, that’s not what she would want… right?

Zelgadiss pulled his hood deeper into his face in frustration. A year or two ago, the answer to that question would have been straightforward.

“Oh, look!” Amelia’s excited voice interrupted his ruminations. “There’s the border outpost, Zelgadiss-san!”

He forced his attention back to the road ahead, and indeed, there it was: a rather unremarkable two-storey tower of stone and wood at the edge of a forest, with a couple of soldiers standing guard nearby. While the states of the peninsula lacked precisely assigned borders, well-traveled trade routes, like this one, tended to have boundary stones to show roughly where one country ended and the other began, often with similar outposts on each side.

Before they could enter the Alliance of Coastal States, which Ruvinagald was a part of, they needed to take a tiny detour: Amelia was supposed to sign some deeds on Prince Philionel’s behalf here in this tower. As they drew closer, between its first and second storey windows, Zelgadiss spotted the crest of Saillune’s Chivalric Order; it seemed like the outpost was manned not by simple soldiers, but the kingdom’s knights themselves.

An uneasy feeling spreading over him, his hand unwittingly reached to touch his left shoulder, trying in vain to chase away the sensation of a certain weight pushing him down.

“Your Highness, welcome! We have eagerly awaited your arrival.” A forty-something man with a finely trimmed full beard came forth to greet them, wearing chain mail and a turban on his head. There was a bit of an odd pause before he gestured towards the entrance. “I have been notified that Your Highness has little time to spare; the scribe already has the documents prepared in the hall. Is there anything else we can do to assist?”

It did not escape Zelgadiss’ attention that the man barely acknowledged his presence; in fact, his gestures very much suggested that he expected the princess to go inside alone, as if he wasn’t even there.

Amelia seemed to have caught on as well; her good mood deflated a tiny bit as she sent a questioning glance in her companion’s direction. Though inwardly grateful for the gesture, Zelgadiss immediately shook his head with a tiny, barely visible movement. He wanted to get this over with, the quicker the better.

“No, that will be all, thank you,” the princess finally replied to the bearded knight with a polite if meaningless smile, mouthed ‘just one minute’ to her companion, and disappeared behind the oaken double doors.

Zelgadiss decided that, in the present situation, he was perfectly content with simply gazing at said entrance with his arms folded while he waited for the whole ordeal to end. To begin with, he never had much of an appetite for small talk; if the others here wanted to ignore him, that was fine as far as he was concerned.

This assumption of his, however, was quickly turned upside down.

“Let me take a guess.” The middle-aged man’s half-amused, half-exasperated voice made him turn back in his direction despite himself. “You never had any chivalric education or training, but were knighted anyway because you slew a dragon, rescued a princess or something equally dashing and heroic.”

With a wince, Zelgadiss once again started rubbing his left shoulder. While the ceremonial blade used by Prince Philionel had been light as a feather and rested on him only for a few moments during the accolade, this ‘phantom sensation’ now felt like several tons forcing him towards the ground.

Of course they’d know he’s also a knight, he realized, at least as of a few days ago. They’ve been briefed about Amelia’s arrival, and he is her official escort – his newly acquired title was necessary for that exact purpose.

Not that he would’ve admitted any of the above to the man in front of him; the conversation was vexing enough for him already.

“Something like that,” he conceded with a sour expression.

“I suspected as much.” The other man nodded with a sigh. “Well, listen here, hero boy. If you enter one of our outposts, you are expected to greet your fellow knights, or the commander at the very least if you’re feeling all shy,” he said gruffly while pointing at himself. “Don’t just march in here with your head in the clouds and then act disappointed when the others don’t know what to do with you.”

Zelgadiss stared at him with the same bewilderment on his face as if he had just been exposed as a spy from Zoana.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” the commander pressed on. “I don’t care what sweet nothings you and the princess whisper to one another, you’re not her consort, a baron or any other noble, at least not yet. But you’re also not a peasant who’s just passing by. You’re one of us. Try to act the part, and we’ll get along just fine, got it?”

Robbed of words, all Zelgadiss could do was blink. Rudeness or insults certainly weren’t new to him, but it somehow did not feel appropriate to simply write this off as either of those. Indeed, that was the most perplexing part: annoyed as the middle-aged man may have been, he could not glimpse any malice, fear or even surprise on his features, even though they stood close enough that his hood barely hid anything at all. It was baffling, yet oddly familiar – and of course excruciatingly embarrassing.

“…Understood,” he finally managed to blurt out, surprising even himself.

“Very well then.” The bearded knight looked satisfied with his answer as he gestured back towards the tower. “We’ll look after your charge while she’s here; feel free to take a breather in the meantime. If you need any rations for the rest of the journey, you can—”

His sentence was cut short by a whole tree – complete with the trunk, branches, leaves, bird nests, and roots – slamming into the ground right in front of them. As the incredible momentum made it skid a few additional yards, the commander disappeared in its sizable canopy; only the muffled sounds of his barely restrained cursing made it out.

“Argh! Gods… my leg’s a mess!” he shouted, clearly in pain. “What the hell is happening?!”

Zelgadiss whirled around to face the forest, though he already had a pretty good idea of what they were facing. Not many creatures had the sheer strength necessary to uproot a tree like that, and the intelligence and willingness to use it as a weapon.

He was right. A dozen hulking, hunched beasts hustled towards them from within the forest, their forms roughly humanoid but somewhat ape-like, their skins colored in dirty shades of yellow, green and blue.

Trolls.

His gaze snapped back to the other knights nearby. The enemy’s display of strength, along with the disappearance of their leader sowed the seeds of panic within their ranks; even those who had rushed out of the tower with weapons drawn seemed more inclined to turn around and flee than to defend their post.

“Doesn’t matter,” Zelgadiss muttered to himself. “They’d only get in the way…”

“Hear me, brave knights of Saillune!” The thundering declaration reached his ears as he was about to rush forward alone. He looked up, and saw Amelia standing at the very top of the tower (where else?), resolutely pointing towards the approaching troll horde. “No evil can hope to defeat those who walk the path of righteousness! No strength born from malice can deter those with a heart of valor from seeing justice done! Stand with me, and let us show these monsters the true virtuous might of our kingdom!”

Her speech was not without impact: the fog of panic gradually lifted from the knights’ ranks, and the fear in their eyes was replaced by resolve. Not enough to make them move, however; while they no longer wanted to run away, it still looked as if they were waiting on each other to take the first step forward.

Someone had to set an example, Zelgadiss realized with a frown, and lead the charge against the enemy.

You’re one of us.

The commander’s words echoed in his mind, and at that moment, he finally understood why they felt so strangely familiar.

Fine. He’ll do it, just this once, he thought to himself, and raised his sword towards the top of the tower in what he hoped to be a knightly salute.

“As you wish, my Lady.”

Then he ran. Both to set that example, and to avoid having to see what effect, if any, his incredibly awkward-feeling line has had.

Battle cries sounded from behind him. Innumerable boots hit the ground, their rumble melding into the chant of Chaos Words springing forth from Amelia’s lips.

Zelgadiss ran even faster – and could not suppress a smile.

The battle did not last long. The knights apparently knew about Amelia’s prowess as a spellcaster, and once Zelgadiss fried a few trolls with lightning, they included him in their tactics as well: they drew the beasts’ attention away from the two of them while they mowed them down with a combination of sword, sorcery and bare fists. As fearsome as their foes’ strength and regenerative abilities were, they stood little chance against such a fierce, coordinated onslaught.

After healing the injured, including the commander’s broken leg, the midday sun found the princess and her official escort already well beyond the Saillune border.

“Zelgadiss-san, those knights have been very rude to you. I’m so sorry!” Amelia apologized hastily as they climbed the mountain road at a brisk pace. “I don’t know what has gotten into them!”

Her companion awkwardly cleared his throat. “Um, right, them. It was a… a misunderstanding. We got over it.” The hint of a smirk tugged his lips. “Not the first time I got chewed out for my lack of knightly manners, anyway.”

That visibly caught the princess by surprise. “You’ve traveled with knights before?”

At first, Zelgadiss felt frustrated that he let that slip, but the emotion quickly morphed into guilt. He had enough of keeping secrets from Amelia for one day. She deserved better than that.

“His name was Rodimus.” He kept his eyes on the road, though his gaze seemed to be somewhere far away. “I’m not sure if he had a proper title, but he certainly considered himself a knight. Acted like one, too. The problems started when he wanted everyone else to act the same way. I remember butting heads with him… a lot.”

There was a certain warmness in Zelgadiss’ voice as he spoke of his late friend that made the princess smile.

“Whatever he may have found wanting in you back then, I don’t think you have much to worry about now,” she commented playfully.

“Right.” Her companion nodded slowly, his eyes still on the road ahead. His smirk now had a slight self-deprecating edge to it. “To start with, in my case this title is just a formality. So what if I don’t measure up to the—”

“That’s not true at all, Zelgadiss-san.”

He stopped and finally turned her way, perplexed. Amelia’s smile was gentle but unrelenting.

“A knight’s title is more than just a formality. Believe me, it’s not something my father and I would give away unearned,” she spoke softly. “Father considers you a dear friend and ally who has fought on Saillune’s side for justice several times. And I…” Her cheeks turned a darker shade of pink. “…I consider you… dear… in many ways. I-I just want you to know that… you have nothing to prove to me.”

Gentle wind stirred the leaves of the beech trees on both sides of the road around them.

Standing motionlessly as if his feet had taken root, Zelgadiss tried really hard to answer something, but could not keep himself from stumbling over his own words.

“Uh… No, I… That wasn’t… It’s not like I wanted to…”

His face now even redder than hers, he forced himself to turn away. Desperate to do something, anything to serve as a distraction, his hand moved towards his left shoulder out of habit… and stopped halfway.

Only then did he notice. The ‘phantom weight’ that haunted him for days – it was no longer there. He somehow also knew it would never return.

Finally able to calm down, Zelgadiss took a deep breath. Then another.

“Alright, I… guess I’ll give this… knight business some more time then. See what comes of it,” he murmured almost to himself, then began walking once more. “A-Anyway… Come on Amelia, let’s get moving. We still have a long journey ahead of us.”

“Right!” The princess beamed as she followed him without skipping a beat.

Long it may have been, it was a journey to look forward to.

EPILOGUE

“Zelgadiss-san?”

“Hmm?”

“When you… raised your sword like that and said… I mean, when you led all the other knights into battle… that was so, so incredibly cool! I even forgot about my incantation for a second.”

“Uh… thanks? Just so you know, I don’t plan to make a habit of it.”

“Aw, but why?”

“Well, it was a… spur-of-the-moment thing. You don’t write your speeches in advance either, do you?”

“Usually no, but I have a couple of Father’s best ones memorized, just in case.”

“…I …see.”

“So I was thinking, rumor says the smiths of Ruvinagald can produce some really high-quality, shiny-looking armor. When we get there, maybe you could… try some of them on?”

“…Absolutely not.”

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