#an as an east asian it’s especially important to me bc i know very well how racist asians can be

[saintjosie]

calling out white privilege within the lgbtq community isn’t in-fighting. it’s fighting for the people who are the most in need of someone in their corner.

[annarendellsa]

my heathers headcanons

it's the way i see them and draw them, you don't have to agree! this is based on both the musical and the movie

CW: mention of suic*de and e*ting disorders (bulimia) as well as various mental illnesses

Heather Duke

• heather duke is aromantic and yes its because she wears green, have you seen her socks in the off broadway musical? /hj

• more seriously, she IS aromantic but it took some time for her to figure out. she is allo but she doesn't label her sexuality, and she was always confused and frustrated to experience sexual attraction but never romantic attraction; she had a hard time accepting this part of herself.

• post heathers: maybe she discovers about non binary identities and asks her girlfriends to test out they/them pronouns on her? idk? aro-agender duke?

• she also struggles with empathy as she is naturally apathic

• and she's putting this image of a cold mean girl because she believes she can only be that given she's aro and ND

• post musical: she had no idea mcnamara actually tried to commit suic*de and when veronica tells her she breaks down in tears and spend a few days writing an apology letter to mcnamara

• post musical: mcnamara helps her to develop her compassion, knowing it's not her fault she's incapable of empathy. she didn't have to forgive her, but they did, and it really motivates duke to become a better person and be as nice as her

• post musical: she sees a doctor! she eventually recovers from her bulimia. veronica and mac are 100% supportive of her recovery, and very proud

• she gets bigger as part of her recovery and learns to embrace it

• duke is very pale with really dark and thick hair and eyebrows, soft features and quite a lot of body hair

• you know the bootleg where duke has blonde hair? when she's on the tv she speaks german and i vibe with german duke now

• duke Cannot say fuck and if someone is prude/innocent/idk it's her. the why are you pulling my dick was just to fluster veronica i think

Heather McNamara

• they use she/they pronouns!! just because. she still identifies as a girl though

• mac is autistic of course, it's like semi canon in the musical

• since she's very tall (movie) she stims while standing like being on the tip of her toes or rocking back and forth and the others can be quite annoyed because she moves a lot but they never snap at her

• post musical: veronica finds her stimming endearing and they know it's safe to stim around her, especially since veronica stims herself

• post musical: mac hums as a stim too and you can often find macnamawyer snuggling on the floor while humming in harmonies together

• she used to mask a LOT and it played a big part in her depression. she knows they had to stop themselves from stimming when she was a heather, she had been the weird kid in middle school but now that chandler took her under her wing, she has to pretend to be NT in order to stay in the lifeboat (😭)

• she's a lesbian!! of course she is

• she knows it since she is in middle school and has been """gal pals"""" with chandler since them but she still struggles with it she has comphet yk, but still less than chandler

• chanamara definitely practiced kissing together "to be ready when we'll have to kiss boys" 👀👀👀

• chandler always had a soft spot for mac and tried to hide it by being cruel to duke

• post musical: it took mac some time to understand that duke had nothing against her personally. she was chill with them until chandler died. from that moment she had to prove herself as the new queen bee and mac was a collateral victim

• duke definetely gave her trauma though and mac is in the process of trusting her again

• mac themselves is not a cinnamon roll just yet and she still has to make up for what they've done to others

• mcnamara has nicknames like mcNcheese or macaroni (veronica came up with those)

• they're also a vegetarian and she loves yellow food

• like she ever only eats yellow food actually (autistic thing). that girl is deficient! part of why she looks that fragile and thin

• also i see mcnamara as mixed race with golden/light brown skin and they have this type of curly curly hair but she straightens it all the time so it's only just wavy (once again, to blend in with the heathers)

• her natural hair colour is actually a dark strawberry blonde? her dad is irish and he's a redhead that's why (stole this from @cam-eats-candles hehe) but she dyes it so it's lighter

• post musical: she starts wearing her natural hair!! and goes with her mom to the afro hairdresser to start to get her curls done right (cornrows mac!!)

• their parents divorced (movie) and it's for the best. mac has daddy issues and only goes to her dad to get cute jewellery for their girlfriends 💖 (he doesn't just sell engagement rings. a lot of regular expensive rings, really)

• she's not a baby, she's not weak nor completely innocent and pure!! the girl is a head cheerleader, she's strong and flexible as hell.

Heather Chandler

• heather chandler is Also a lesbian BUT she is on the ace spectrum like demisexual? so yeah she's double disgusted when she "sleeps" with men

• as a queen bee she's also convinced that the only way to exist is through male validation :(

• chandler is taller than duke and veronica but shorter than mac

• chandler's skin is like rosy and it freckles very easily. i see her with the same cloudylike hair she has in the movie, dark blonde, with the red scrunchie only holding back some of her hair

• she is Buff and is genuinely into sports (lesbian jock like regina george)

• she has a sharp hourglass shape her shoulders are broad and her legs long and strong. she could lift veronica against a wall easily. and she did

Veronica Sawyer

• ADHD!! she's been diagnosed for a while but only became medicated post musical

• bisexual!! so bisexual!! without a preference. she's always been open and proud about it and her parents are supportive

• for me veronica is brown, with thick and dark hair and dark brown eyes, midsize, average height

Martha Dunnstock

• that's canon i know, but she's fat, and not the socially acceptable-hourglass kind of fat. big arms! big tummy! double chin! (i see fanart of her just being chubby quite often and it's ANNOYING like that's a big part of her character)

• she's perfectly healthy like this as are many fat people :))

• i also like the hc that her attempt at sewer slide made her permanently disabled and that she keeps using a wheelchair! because it happens, it's important to show it, and it gives me a lot of ideas for cute kindergarten girlfriends prompts 💓💓

• of course realistically being fat AND physically disabled in the 80's was and is not an easy thing to go through but it's in my head so

• she's also a tiny bit taller than veronica

• i don't hate the outfit she wears in the off broadway show, but I like her west end outfit better!! it's a lot more 80's inspired and i totally see her in kidcore/clowncore etc, even if pastels are cool too

• in the current west end version, martha is played by a black woman and she looks amazing! however I've been drawing and imagining martha as east/south east asian, for no reason really?? also idk kinda rubs me the wrong way that in the more official versions of heathers it's always duke that is black, or martha? not the others? hmm

• i'm not comfortable with hcs that exclusively babyfy her or patronise her like a bunny rabbit just bc she's a fat outcast who likes unicorns!! she's not just cute and giggly! martha can and does swear and she Fucks, like mcnamara

• big round glasses + big nose + long brown hair

• taking inspiration from the princess bride line but she's a huge movie nerd. yes she loves happy endings but she also loves horror movies, as long as they have a happy ending

• she never gets a makeover omg y'all just hate people with glasses and a childish aesthetic istg

• she takes this aesthetic further though and

• post musical and high school: she doesn't just wear baggy clothes anymore as she only did that to prevent more bullying. she develops an unique style with a lot of pink and glitter and she's awesome

------

ok this is getting long ill probably do more!! tell me what you think <3

[softshelltaakos]

what’s up everybody! it’s time for part 2 of my taz graphic novel review.

part one covered (most of) my beef with the writing and storytelling choices. this part is gonna cover character designs!!! you should know going into this that my opinions are not positive. this post is also a lot less analytical in tone than part 1, because art is not my forte.

disclaimer: i love the mcelroys. i truly do. taz has gotten me through some very difficult stuff and i have a tattoo. all this to say i’m not doing this because i hate them or because i like hating things. if you feel the need to message me about how i am overreacting, specifically to green taako, or about how i should just calm down and ignore it, or about how it’s sad that i’m getting so worked up instead of just enjoying the show, i’ve heard it and i don’t care. you will not be taken seriously. save yourself the energy.

there are spoilers for the graphic novel under the cut.

alright. i’m getting the elephant in the room out of the way first because it’s the most important thing to address, and once it’s out of my system i’ll feel better goofing on the rest of the designs. as i mentioned in the disclaimer: Green Taako Is Bad.

[ID: a panel focusing on taako. he’s skinny and minty green with chin-length light blonde hair and a big, pointy nose.]

now, a lot of people have made posts about this before, and i’m not saying anything new about it by any means. i’m also not the most equipped person to talk about why green taako is bad, because i’m a white gentile (i’ve heard conflicting opinions on whether or not green taako is antisemitic, but it feels remiss not to mention that there’s been discussion) and therefore not part of any groups affected by this whole debacle, but in short: when pressed for more diversity, specifically in taako’s case as a pretty large chunk of his arc involves literally inventing a mexican cultural food (fun note: that’s never mentioned in this book,) carey pietsch decided he should be green and the mcelroys were down with it. this is not an issue that cropped up when this design was released; it was something that there was already a ton of discourse surrounding, and it should never have gotten concepts drawn, let alone made it to publish.

this article by natt cuesta has been linked before on the subject, and i think it’s a good, concise explanation of why green taako is bad as well as why aracial characters in general are bad. this is a racist design.

now that we’ve gotten those ethical ramifications out of the way... i’m sorry, but it’s an ugly design, lmao. he looks like a palette-swapped version of pearl from steven universe with less character. the ONLY thing about this design that i like is the prominent lower lashes, if only because they’re the only thing that keeps him from looking entirely generic. because, like, y’all, when has anything about taako been generic?

[ID: a panel focusing on magnus. he’s a muscular fair-skinned man with auburn hair, a bushy beard, and a scar over his left eye.]

generic is a word that’s going to come up a lot over the course of this review, because i genuinely can’t think of a more apt descriptor for pietsch’s designs. it feels like she went with the lowest common denominator of every character’s design, a synthesis of all of the most popular (and most boring) ones, except in instances where that would lend any personality to a character’s design. magnus fits what brief description we’re given in the podcast: auburn hair. beard. big. and i guess that’s all you need?

i understand that by appealing to the most common and basic designs for these characters you’re inviting a lot less ire than you might by going with something more individual, so i get the motivation behind it -- or i would, if her designs hadn’t always been about this dull. but it’s bizarre to me that in a story as unique as the balance campaign, we ended up with the most basic ass Fantasy Hero lookin’ dude in the world as one of our protagonists.

i just really don’t have a lot to say about this. i’m just bored by it.

[ID: a panel of merle. he has medium-dark skin with a smooth white bun and beard.]

merle is simultaneously the design i like most out of the boys and the one that throws me the most, because i feel like he’s the most out on a limb one. which... oof. most merle designs i see give him a floral motif (i guess he has a few petals in his hair, maybe?) and big coke-bottle glasses, and i miss those things with this design, but at least it doesn’t totally feel like pietsch threw every merle she could get her hands on into a blender and poured it out on a page, although honestly, that might have been more satisfying. people do some really fun shit with their merle designs, but again, he’s. generic.

as the cuesta article mentions, with how much of an issue it was to get any of the boys to be poc in the first place and in conjunction with minty up there, this design also feels like tokenism -- an appeasement rather than an honest attempt at diversity or god forbid because the artist actually headcanons merle as a person of color. personally, i wish that she’d gone a step beyond re-coloring his skin and idk given him a natural hairstyle or something. he still feels very much like a recolor to me rather than a character who was designed as a person of color from the beginning.

i feel like he looks more like a cleric than he looks like a merle, which i feel like is pretty contradictory to who merle is.

[ID: a cutaway showing griffin, a white man with brown hair and glasses wearing a collared shirt.]

i’ve said before that it feels a little odd to talk about her design of a real person, so i’ll keep this brief, but... you know how every drawing of a basic white dude looks a little bit like griffin mcelroy? you know how that one arthur character looks a little bit like griffin mcelroy? you know how everyone is constantly messaging mysillycomics about how her avatar looks like griffin mcelroy?

how did carey pietsch manage to actively attempt to draw griffin mcelroy and miss the mark? it boggles the mind. he doesn’t not look like griffin, i guess, but he doesn’t look like griffin, either. i don’t know, man

[ID: a generic gerblin. he has yellowy-green skin, slight tusks or fangs, and weird, nubby little horn-type things.]

i hate these gerblins. they are ugly. next

[ID: two images of klaarg/g’nash. he’s a bugbear with brown fur and yellow eyes as well as a mouth full of pointy teeth. in the first image he looks pissed off; in the second he’s starry-eyed and delighted.]

klaarg is probably my favorite design in the book, and that’s just because he looks like a cute dog for most of the time he’s on the page. he’s fluffy and i love klaarg anyway, so like. did not take a lot to reach this mark. especially considering how i feel about most of the other designs lmfao

i do definitely think he keeps up the trend of looking generic, though.

[ID: an image of barry bluejeans. he looks like tom arnold, kind of; he’s square-jawed and white with thick-rimmed glasses. he also has a light brown mullet.]

i hate this. i hate the mullet. i’m sorry, y’all, i really, truly, cannot stand the mullet. i don’t feel like barry has mullet energy. i feel like it’s too powerful a move for him. it wouldn’t be a good move, mind you, but it would be a big one. i don’t know y’all it’s just bad

[ID: an image of killian. she’s a green-skinned orc woman with prominent eyelashes, eyebrows, and tusks, and straight brown hair.]

i can’t have been the only one who was hoping for a badass, visibly muscular, maybe even butch killian design, right? that wasn’t just me being a big old lesbian, that’s a pretty common theme of killian designs? i guess kudos for going out on a limb again, but then, like, take the kudos back for going out on the most boring limb possible again. i could hang with the face if her hair wasn’t so boring, but it’s... it’s so boring

[ID: an image of magic brian. he’s a drow with long white hair and an oblong face and oddly shaped nose.]

for how many of her designs are syntheses of popular ones, i..... don’t understand how this happened. i don’t understand how whimiscal and flamboyant magic brian who’s often drawn as taako-but-a-goth-dark-elf ended up looking like this. he looks like he used to play football and got his nose busted up and peaked in fantasy high school. he looks like the first quarter of a monster factory video where the thing’s just ugly but doesn’t have a personality or any endearing traits yet. he didn’t have to be the goth twink we all know he is but what.......... is this

[ID: an image of gundren rockseeker/bogard. he’s a light-skinned dwarf with dark long hair and a matching beard.]

..........listen i know they’re cousins and distant cousins at that but all of merle’s cousins are light-skinned and, like, not to say that that can’t happen but having them be anywhere near merle’s skin tone would’ve been such an easy way to help bolster the obviously inaccurate idea that this is a work concerned with diverse character designs, or rather to help ppl claim it was being bolstered, and yet

[ID: avi, a fair-skinned man with long dark hair kept up in a ponytail and slight scruff on his face.]

i feel like maybe avi is intended to be east asian so i think at this point that brings the count up to a whole two characters of color. we’re almost done with the book. cool. he’s cute, i guess, but guess what word i’m about to say again (it’s generic)

[ID: a panel of several unnamed cameo characters. from right to left: carey fangbattle, a light blue dragonborn; brad bradson, a green orc man with a long brown ponytail; and presumably lucas miller, a tan human with glasses and dark hair.]

ok. deep breaths.

first off, there’s another panel w these three as well as boyland, who looks fine, but i didn’t grab that one bc it’s harder to make out detail. carey is cute. brad is fine.

i assume the third guy is lucas miller because i’m not entirely sure who else he would be, and... oof! as you may know i can’t stand lucas miller, which has nothing to do with his necromancy or nerdiness and everything to do with the various human rights violations he commits in the small time he’s got focus as well as the fact that he’s got a theoretical redemption arc that’s not actually an arc so much as us being told he’s better now. lucas is an entitled jackass who repeatedly uses other people’s bodies and minds without their consent, from the obvious offense of using the bugbears as brainwashed chore-doers (read: slaves) to the less-oft discussed dragging of noelle and others out of the astral plane into robot bodies, again to do his chores for him. because of this, it has always sat very uncomfortably with me when people make lucas a poc, because everything about him screams Shitty White Nerd Boy to me. it sits extra uncomfortably coming from carey pietsch, given how white all of her other designs are.

it’s a little hard to tell because i took all these pics with my phone camera in my room’s lighting so they’re not super high fidelity or anything, but pietsch’s lucas is noticeably darker than any other character we’ve seen so far save merle. maybe he’s just a white guy with a tan, but all the same, it strikes me as incredibly skeevy to have one of so few characters of color be this fucking guy.

[ID: johann, a black man with an oblong face and textured dark hair.]

johann’s design is fine, although this is a similar face shape to that brian from earlier and i just. i don’t. understand it. it’s not especially interesting, but hey, at least he’s not another generic white guy.

that being said, as i mentioned in part 1 of this review, johann’s role is severely cut in this -- he’s reduced to three panels, when in the show itself he’s the one who escorts the boys to the voidfish’s chamber and inoculates them. as i mentioned in that post i understand that they shifted it some to give lucretia a more prominent entrance, but as i also mentioned in that post, they should have compensated for that. three panels.

johann is not a character with a great deal of screentime as it is, but he’s a character with a major impact. he is the reason story and song happens. his song serves as a direct foil to john’s nihilistic conversion of his own home plane into the hunger. the fact that he’s been reduced to three panels with little to no characterization at this point, especially in conjunction with the fact that he’s one of very few poc, makes me really, really uncomfortable. avi is in more panels in this book than johann is, and while i love avi and as i said i am parsing him as an asian dude, he’s also still light-skinned enough and the style is nondescript enough that there are definitely people who will parse him as white, and also, avi’s role in the story is not as big as johann’s.

it doesn’t sit right with me.

[ID: an image of davenport, a fair-skinned man with a big red mustache and slicked back red hair.]

ginger davenport with a big mustache. groundbreaking.

[ID: an image of lucretia, a slender black woman with short white hair dressed in blue layers.]

and finally, lucretia. now, i’m biased, and it’s hard for me to see a lucretia design i don’t like. i also think that this is, compared to a lot of the others at least, one of the more interesting designs in the book, at least as far as her clothes go. it’s not a long robe that would be hard to move in, and i appreciate that -- it strikes me as a pretty practical outfit while also being ornamental and wizard-y. and she’s pretty, and she’s not whitewashed, and that’s all great. i like her earrings.

all that being said, i feel like it’s not enough. luc’s hair continues a theme with merle’s and johann’s (as well as the preview we’ve seen of angus,) which is that it strikes me as very low-effort on pietsch’s part. it’s short and it’s definitely not straight, but it doesn’t feel to me like it had as much thought put into it as, say, minty green taako’s hair. we could’ve had a lucretia with a big beautiful afro, or long box braids, or so many other natural hairstyles; we got this. it’s not bad, but i do think it’s disappointing. without going looking for it and without being a person who reads a great deal about character design, i’ve seen a fair amount of discussion from black women (artists, writers, and none of the above) about the portrayal of black women as it pertains to their hair. they’re never designed to be as feminine as their white counterparts. their hair is never treated with the same amount of detail or respect as their white counterparts. it’s short, maybe curly if you’re lucky.

i’m gonna circle back quickly to killian’s hair. it’s long and smooth and kept down, despite the fact that killian is an action-oriented women and might not want it to be in her face all the time -- it could have at least been braided or in a bun. it could’ve been short! and that would’ve made sense. and i don’t mean to say that lucretia couldn’t have short hair, but she’s a very elegant woman whose dress is described as intricate. she wears business regalia. she could have any number of hairstyles, from something elaborate to something simple but more out-of-the-box than this, but she doesn’t. i found this on a quick hunt through my ref tag -- it’s a tutorial for drawing black folks with just a small selection of interesting things you can do with afrotextured hair. these resources aren’t hard to find! and i’m doing this for fun -- carey pietsch is a professional artist who was paid for these designs. if she’d put in more than the bare minimum effort, we could’ve had some really interesting shit going on, but she didn’t.

and that’s the core of the issue here. i truly do not feel like pietsch put the same amount of care into the designs for the few characters of color we see as she did into the white ones, and that’s upsetting and emblematic of a larger problem in the work: neither pietsch nor the mcelroys put in very much care at all for the fans of color who spoke up and asked for representation.i know i said i was getting taako out of the way first so the majority of the post could be goof-heavy, but goddamn, y’all, it’s hard to goof about when it’s so blatantly shitty. pietsch’s designs are boring at best and racist at worst, not to mention conspicuously lacking in anyone who is not skinny, muscular, or a dwarf. people have praised this thing so uncritically, including people whose opinions i generally really respect, as if the fact that the mcelroys signing off on green taako made it above reproach.

it didn’t, by the way. there’s no such thing as an unproblematic fav, because everybody fucks something up now and then, but even then, this is a pretty egregious fuck-up! and it was willful!

i’m not saying y’all need to burn your copies of the gn or stop listening to the mcelroys entirely or anything of the sort -- you may remember the disclaimer at the top of the post where i say i really, really love them, and more specifically, i really love taz: balance. but i am BEGGING YOU to think critically about their work. good, good boys can do bad, bad things. white people can produce work that’s racist even if they’re gay women. it’s not mean to critique the boys and it’s not homophobic (or god forbid reverse racist, which is still not a real thing) to critique carey.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the real kicker of this whole thing for me is that there’s a small fanart gallery in the back of the book. most of them aren’t labeled with the artist’s handles, just their names, but there are some truly beautiful pieces featuring diverse designs -- galacticjonah and milkychai both have beautiful latino taakos featured! galacticjonah’s is fat, too! but even after the backlash against green taako, even aside from that being the design that people are going to accept as canonical, there are pieces in the gallery of green taako, as if doubling down on it was the right move.

and by the way, yeah, i’ve read griffin’s apology. but i thought we all learned in kindergarten that an apology doesn’t count if you don’t act on it.

[humansofhds]

Seokweon Jeon, MTS ’19

“As long as I remember, I was always curious about what religion means to people.”

Seokweon is a master of theological studies degree candidate focusing on Religion and Social Sciences.

From South Korea to the U.S. and Back

Both my parents are Korean. My dad studied in the U.S. for his doctoral degree in Texas and Atlanta. I was born while he was finishing his degree, but I was actually born in Seoul because they wanted to raise their children as Korean. For my childhood, naturally, I always had two different kinds of cultural backgrounds—American culture and Korean culture, too. South Korea is the place I spent more than 20 years of my life.

Now my family is living in South Korea in a very beautiful seaside village. When he was teaching at a college, my dad got a call from his friends from his hometown in South Korea and he told him that there is no pastor or people who can lead the church because he is from a really small seaside village, just 1,500 people. But because it's such a small town in the countryside no pastors or ministers wanted to come lead the church. Right after that phone call, he decided to go back to his hometown in South Korea and lead the church. He went back to South Korea because of that one phone call, and he’s spent his whole life working in that church. And I grew up there in that village: Samcheok, in the province of Gangwon-do.

Son of a (Different) Preacher Man

I was born and raised as the son of a preacher man and professor. But mostly I would say son of a preacher man. Church was my home, as well as my dad’s office. Although I was raised as the son of a preacher man, my upbringing was kind of different, because my dad was, in some ways, a different figure compared to other average “normal” pastors in South Korea. When it comes to South Korean Protestant churches, they are not really rigorous in terms of inter-religious dialogue or engagement. They have a kind of anti-non-Christianity sentiment. So they tend to demonize Buddhism or Catholicism and of course Shamanism, or any other kinds of religious traditions other than Protestantism.

But my dad was really different. Every year on the Buddha’s birthday I went to the local temples and had tea with the headmaster of the temple, and the whole day I would hang around and talk with many monks and nuns and kids around the temple. I visited all the time because my dad really liked having conversations with the headmasters of the temples around the town. I met a lot of shamanists, too, because he really loved to sit and talk with shamans. So he invited many of them, and many shamans would come to my dad’s office or house without appointments. Any time they would just knock on the door and say, “Is Pastor Jeon here?” And my mom would invite them to come inside to have tea, or she would serve them a meal and talk with them. So when it comes to my childhood upbringing, I would say I was surrounded by many religious people like Fathers, shamans, Buddhist monks, nuns, and of course pastors.

Sharing Your Life

My family has a summer house right next to the seashore—a beautiful place. And because my dad is like the pastor “boy-next-door,” he would invite everyone all the time­—for 20 years not a single day has that house been empty. Backpackers, nuns, professors, friends of friends, businessmen, salarymen—everyone could come to my house. And every night if new guests came to my house I would just go there with my dad, mom, and brother and have tea and dinner and listen to their stories and how they live, how they get here, and what their worlds look like.

It was an amazing experience for me because from that time, as long as I can remember, I loved listening to other people’s stories, and that house was my natural setting. So I would listen to many people’s stories about how they live and how they found hardships in their lives. You know, if you go to a really beautiful place you could feel the tension drip away and sometimes you can really talk about your life and you really want to share your life. So that is my good fortune that my hometown had.

Religious Curiosity

Growing up, my dad had an inter-religious mindset. So as long as I remember, I was always curious about what religion means to people and what different faith traditions mean and signify in today's society. When I went to the summer house to see the new guests, they would talk about all the different faith traditions in their lives. Some talk about yoga, some talk about Buddha, some Bodhisattvas, and some Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit, and some angels, and some prophets, too. So I was really really curious about what all those things mean to me and to my family and to them. I think that is the place that I started to have an interest in having an occupation as a scholar to study religion and all the different religious traditions and practices. So that's the one part; interreligious settings and listening to different stories at the summer house.

Interdisciplinary Study

I studied sociology and theology in undergrad at Yonsei University in Seoul, South Korea. From my undergrad years I worked on the sociological study of religion. I was fascinated by the fact that religious traditions and practice can be studied with quantitative methodologies and numbers and data. I also found out that can also provide a really good reflection, overview, and perspective on current movements and the larger picture of modern religion, too. So I was fascinated by two different academic disciplines in college—sociology and religion.

After graduation, I kept on studying religion but through a different lens: history. The reason I chose to study history of religion at a graduate level was to understand religion with an expanded frame of reference, with sensitivity and with an in-depth knowledge. As a student working on the religious movements of the current state or present time, it was really important for me to grasp the historical ways in which religious values and practices, which have a strong bearing on the way we behave and conduct ourselves in the society, have been formed and changed. So in graduate school in the same college I studied Christianity of East Asia. I studied how Western Christianity was introduced into most of East Asian countries, how they rooted to and interacted with the indigenous culture, and how Western Christianity became a model of “modernity” in East Asia. I especially focused on the late eighteenth-and-nineteenth century interplay between indigenous religious traditions and Christianity.

I think studying religion through the eyes of the humanities can give a vibrant framework that can reflect the diverse changes happening now. For me, choosing to study religion with sociology and history has allowed me consider not only what to think about religion, which will one day be outdated and obsolete, but also how to think about religion. I’m really fascinated by that at HDS, too, that I can experience the whole diverse spectrum of religion and be a part of this dynamic community, and reflect it back to my study using various methodologies; sociology, philosophy, and anthropology.

Academic and Cultural Differences

In Korean academia, I could not really synthesize all my different interests. And it is the same in Japan and China. They have their own kinds of boundaries when it comes to academic disciplines. But at HDS, there are not strict boundaries between disciplines. I can fully synthesize all methodologies and disparate academic perspectives in one place. Plus, last semester I went to BC, BU, MIT, HDS, and FAS, and I went to many seminars and classroom. I was a regular member of American politics seminar at BC. I feel like HDS does not attempt to funnel those whole diverse perspectives and methodologies down to one little path across the water but strive to connect the (seemingly irrelevant and distant) dots. In Boston, I can use all these diverse institutions and tools to study modern religious movement in depth and and comprehensive. That’s another big difference I am experiencing.

In Korea academia, its lecture oriented. So the instructor lectures and the advisor guides all your themes, dissertation, thesis, classes. There is hardly a vibrant dialogue between students. But in HDS, its more discussion oriented. And the academic relation between students is really vibrant and active. The second cultural different is rent. It's so expensive! So living in Boston can be overwhelming. Haha!

America Building Walls

Before I came to Harvard, Korea was a mess. The president was impeached and every day there were disturbing new allegations of corruption, scandal, bribery, deception, and collusion, which shook the very foundations of society. But in May 2017, a new president had been elected who was a former human rights lawyer. When I left there to study at Harvard, in August, it was a moment where everything seemed cleaned up. But when I got to HDS it seemed like a new kind of mess had started.

Growing up in South Korea, my parents always told me about the true source of America's greatness and what American greatness really means. Whenever they talked about it, they spoke of tolerance and diversity, and recognizing all different settings, race, ethnicity, gender, and political identity. My dad said that America can be one great country because they embrace all the differences and make them as great a thing, as positive power, the greatest power the U.S. can have. But after coming back to the U.S. in the Trump era, I am sensing and feeling the opposite context and landscape right now: hate speech and building walls rather than bridges.

So at first it was difficult for me because it was different from what I had heard and dreamed. Harvard is a safe haven for us, but if we walk out the door what we are seeing is so different. No tolerance. Too little empathy and compassion. Rather than tolerance what I’m seeing right now is hatred. That was one of the strongest impressions that I had in August and September of 2017, when I first arrived.

Positive Shock

I served in the army about four years. The first two years I spent at the DMZ, around the Joint Security Area (JSA). That is the place that Kim Jong Un and the president of South Korea, Moon Jae-in, met at that historical meeting and shook hands. So watching that scene gave me a chill because that place used to be a place of hatred, tension, fears, and tears. But things are starting to change. This dialogue gives me a kind of hope that everything can change, maybe if the initial power and gathering can be weak, but if someone starts to work on dialogue, conversation, embracing diversity and overcoming difference, some really great change can happen. When I served the army, I thought this division between the North and South would last longer because, frankly, I sensed no hope there. But now, especially since February, I'm starting to think some really positive and powerful changes can happen and maybe my future generation can live in a united country.

My family cried when they watched the whole interviews and live streaming of the event. It was a fresh shock also to them because everything was so smooth and fast. My dad once told me that if we are trying to achieve peace between North and South Korea, gradual steps would be needed. So this is so different from what I thought because it happened without buildup. This big change happened all of a sudden with a small number of people’s efforts. It was a positive shock. My dad was born in North Korea before the Korean War and both my mom and dad’s parents came from North Korea, too. It inspires hope, and the need for gathering and mobilizing our force because huge positive changes are actually possible and at the darkest and most unexpected moments.

Interview and photos by Anaïs Garvanian

[btsiguess]

This is just to say has really got my brain working. I've gotten super into philosophy and literature bc of it?? and then I ended up having a dream bc of it?? I was wondering if you had any suggestions for things I could maybe learn about/study (both philosophy and literature) Thank you for the amazing story!!

This is the question I was BORN TO ANSWER I’m so excited, okay.

So I’m actually an English and Philosophy major at school (wow big shock right?) and the two actually really go hand in hand. You get a lot more out of literature when you understand how people were thinking at the time and philosophy gives you such great insight into that. Also especially in the case of earlier literature, everything was being written and read by educated people. So really if you were writing literature you were well versed in Philosophy and that created an atmosphere where authors were alluding to philosophical conversations in their work, assuming their audience would understand the references. It’s for that reason that these two fields really supplement one another.

A lot of philosophy is very dry, if I’m being honest, a lot of the “great” philosophers are really difficult to read because they basically talk in circles to prove their points.

I personally prefer some of the more contemporary philosophers? Gauthier is my favorite, he’s a wild ride. And I like a lot of the philosophers who sort of also made it as authors (so like, Kafka and Camus. But a lot of people find them tedious, because they… are…) the existentialists as a whole are also really fun? But also SO exhausting. But that’s just philosophy in general (e.g. In philosophy class a few days ago we were discussing whether or not ANYTHING IS REAL AT ALL OR IF WE ARE ALL JUST???????????? NOTHING WE COULD ALL JUST NOT EXIST?)

***

Literature is DEFINITELY my main passion though, so I can absolutely suggest some actual specific stuff for you?!?! Just like my favorite things! All of these you can probably find online??!

- I feel obligated to start off with one of my favorite poems, and the place where my title comes from: “This is just to say” by William Carlos Williams (what’s it about idk but I think it’s damn cute every time.)

- “The Grasshopper and the Bell Cricket” by Yasunari Kawabata (this was my first introduction to any East Asian literature and it sparked my interest in non-western culture so it is very important to me! Without it I would have never found BTS, and a HUGE amount of other things that I now think are critically necessary for my life.)

- “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” by Washington Irving (it’s especially interesting if you look at it as a metaphor for the American Revolutionary War which happened about 50 yrs prior to its publication// I think Katrina is a personification of America, Ichabod is a personification of the British army, and Brom is the American/union soldiers which makes it SO much cooler idk)

AND NOW FOR MY ALL TIME FAVORITE IF YOU ONLY LOOK ONE THING UP LET IT BE THIS:

- “My love for you is so embarrassingly” by Todd Boss. (I carry a copy of this poem around in my wallet?! Yikes I’m a n e r d. But seriously. It’s beautiful.)

I don’t want to overwhelm you with suggestions? So I’ll stop there. And if you want specific essays or PDFs of anything relating to philosophy sent your way I can definitely do that, lol. I’m a TA (my university lets undergraduates be TAs 😎). I have them on hand and literally I love LEARNING and sharing knowledge and also I am so hype about literature and philosophy so, really thank you for letting me gush?

Please! Feel free to even send me a message if you want to continue talking about this? I can send you suggestions based on your personal likes and dislikes ❤️

Also, one last thing before I go! Thank you so much for letting me know you liked the story and I’m honestly so SHOOK that it’s gotten you interested I. Philosophy and literature?? I seriously can’t imagine a better way to end my day! I love you 💕💙

Keep in touch xx 😘

-btsiguess

[dalhousiediaries]

DalhousieDiaries Season 1: A Review

♪ Currently listening to: Blem by Drake  ♪ 📚 Currently reading: A Game of Thrones by George RR Martin 📚

I’ve been waiting for so long to write a post like this, I’m so excited to write this you guys have no idea.

My first year has been a phenomenal experience, and I’m sure so many of my peers in their first year of university can say the same.  Living in residence (#ResLife) has been an amazing opportunity, I was able to meet so many new people, to build deep and meaningful bonds and construct connections with a diverse group of people from all different walks of life, continuing their walk through post secondary education.

Let me tell you all about it.

I may be repeating some parts of my journey on the far east coast of Canada, bear with me, I’m going to be going into a bit more detail and reveal things that I didn’t in my update posts prior. 

I was terrified of coming to the East.  No lie.

I had heard all the racism-horror stories, saw the slow development of the city of Halifax and the surrounding cities, and of course when you’re flying from one end of the country, especially a country as big as Canada, to the other side - you’re going to be at least a little intimidated.  But at the same time, I was so excited to begin my journey - this would mark the first time I live by myself, the first time my decisions would affect me and only me, where my parents would be unable to help me out physically.  Maybe that was what attracted me to the cold shores of the East Coast? I’ve never really had the sense of thrill and adventure from relocating and this was the first time I had that opportunity.  The first time I’d truly be able to show that I could fend for myself and prove to my parents that I could take care of myself.

Though my mind was muddled with worry, doubt and excitement, the skies were clear.

I landed in Halifax on September 1st, 2016 around 2 am or so.  I can’t remember as clearly as before since it’s been so long and so many things have happened since then.  Our first night was what my friends would call a “clown fiesta”.  My mother and I, both exhausted, landed at the Halifax Stanford International airport, and we grabbed a cab right away.  The driver, I remember, was a very talkative fellow but at the same time he had this air of what I can only best describe it as superiority? He talked very surely of himself and assumed that my mom would need a “good cab driver” back and handed her his card, to that my mother politely accepted the taxi driver’s business card, while swearing at him under her breath.  I guess the first city in Nova Scotia I’ve been in is Dartmouth, where our hotel was.  The hotel, or should I say motel, my mom booked was a 2 star at best.  She had gone online prior to our trip to the Eastern province to search for a bargain deal on accommodations.  This is important to keep in mind. Anyway, we arrive at our destination and I have no idea what the total of the ride came out to be as both my mom and the taxi driver shooed me out to retrieve our luggage from the trunk.  Assuming she paid, my mom followed shortly after, heaving the heavy pieces of luggage to the front entrance to check in. While we were checking in to our luxurious 2 star room, the cab driver burst through the front door, grinning ear to ear, exposing his yellowing and chipped teeth, excitedly asking my mom if she “meant to write that down”.  I think my mom had enough of this greasy chauffeur and hastily reaffirmed, what would be later discovered as her blunder. 

So turns out that she gave this cab driver a $90 tip.

To anyone who knows even a fiber of my mother, they’d know that Isabel Choi does not fuck around with money.  For an immigrant, coming from Korea with little to no money, someone who had to work harder than others, who had to juggle jobs to earn even a little more money than not, for someone who suffered role strain everywhere, this shocked, upset, and saddened her all at once. And in true Isabel fashion, she took her anger out on me.  Of course I wasn’t the only one she was mad at; she was angry at herself as well but the receiving end of all her fury was me.

“Why didn’t you stop me from tipping him fucking $90?!” ‘Well Mum, you made me go get the luggage.’ “You could’ve stopped all this if you just asked me to check!” ‘And that’s my responsibility how?’

The very first night we arrived in Halifax, we got into an argument.  But for those who know the females of the Choi household, this won’t come as a surprise.  However, from there, everything escalated to an argument.

“Why are we in this kind of hotel? It’s stupidly far from Dalhousie and there’s nothing around here!” ‘You wanted a good deal.  As always, prioritizing value over comfort.’ I retorted.

But the nights went on. 

I forgot to mention, that prior to even boarding the plane, even before everything remotely related to my move to the East Coast, I had been talking to a friend that I met through the Dalhousie Class of 2020 Facebook group, some of my readers may recognize the name from a few of my other posts, Mikayla Fisher.  At the time, I had no idea what this girl was like, but we had each other on Facebook and Snapchat - and talking to her, just knowing that there’s someone I know in this unfamiliar territory brought me so much comfort.  So I’ll actually take the time right now to thank her for that, thanks. 

I remember spending the three days I was in that sad excuse of a motel, just snapping my new found friend, crying a lot (I missed people back in BC dearly), and reading up on Dalhousie.   On the second day, we decided to go “dorm room stuff shopping” as my mother excitedly exclaimed.  The closest Wal-Mart was still quite a ways away, and I can’t really give a reliable source of distance or anything since I didn’t drive, nor did I ever drive in Nova Scotia.  For the mode of transportation, we had rented a cute car (one that my mother had always yearned to drive), I believe we crossed a few bridges and was on a highway the entire time. 

The morning of the second day however, was my first time experiencing and really feeling how the locals thought of Asians and/or immigrants/POC in general.  We decided to hit up the local Swiss Chalet, and of course since we’’ve never been in that Swiss Chalet, we didn’t really know how things worked.  After holding the door for a few elderly folks, mum and I walked in, and were told that there was actually a separate part of the building for take-outs and she courteously lead us there.  So far so good.  Once we ordered our meals however, that’s where things turned sour - and I don’t mean the food.  The cashier, I noticed, continuously rolled her eyes at my mother’s (still) broken English.  Once our food was packed up and ready to be picked up, she called us over (we were sitting on some benches on the opposite side), and before we could even take a step toward the counter, she flung our bag across the counter.  No thank yous, no “have a good day”, nothing. 

Let’s skip ahead, there’s nothing interesting after this.

September 3rd is when I finally moved into Risley Hall, the residence of my choice.  Dalhousie gave me the room 2123, which I thought was an easy number to remember but I sooner or later realized I would have remembered my room number anyway since I’d be living there for the next 8 or so months.  My room was on the second floor, on the first “tower”, which was one of the wings of the E-shaped building.

My room itself was pretty nice, a bit small but I liked that, it was cozy.  Also, I reminded myself that no matter how small this room was, it was still better than living at home (which I later recognized was a debatable statement).  It peered out the front side of the building, opposing the other, newer Residence Hall, LeMarchant Place.  I quickly realized, compared to the other students in Risley, my room was pretty bare.  I only packed the bare necessities and didn’t really bring much “comfort” items - which I now realize, and advise first years leaving their home town, to do.  Bring comfort items. 

Residence Life (stylized as #ResLife) was pretty interesting actually.  The first week or two was filled with activities, and I was able to take part in it because other than the fact I was a freshman, life in residence just made things like that more accessible and more open - if that makes any sense at all. The way Risley Hall was set up was that each wing/tower had it’s own RA (Residence Assistant), since there were three wings per floor, there were three RA’s per floor (excluding the first floor since the first tower for that was occupied by the lobby and the meal hall).  There were six floors that comprised Risley Hall, so quite a number of RAs.  The Residence Assistants are the ones you would usually go to for help, complaints (if on duty or whatever), just to talk to, to get advice or whatnot.  They mainly comprised of older students, ranging from 2nd year to 4th, all from different faculties and areas of interests.  They were the ones that would decorate their respective tower’s bulletin board, make the name tags for residents, patrol the building at night and plan floor and resident events.

My door-tag in first year, first semester - Harry Potter motif.

Speaking of floor presidents, this year I was the Rock’s (1st and 2nd floor) Vice President.  Alongside President and certified-good-guy, Matt Cheverie.  Treasurer Michael Cormier, Secretary Kamryn Robichaud, Environmental Rep Carly Mayhew-Gallant, and 2nd floor rep Adrienne Evans.  Unfortunately we weren’t able to do as many events as we would have liked to due to unforeseen circumstances but my time with the council was a blast and it even helped me to become closer to Matt and Michael  (two grrrreat guys).

My floor and tower, and I guess Risley in general was, (according to the RAs) “uncharacteristically noisy/rowdy”.  But what did they really expect when you put a bunch of first years in the same building?  Especially with my tower, they put all the boys that could be friends in the same hallway.  To no one’s surprise, they all became friends and things like this were a frequent occurrence, though it wasn’t exclusive to our floor:

I don’t know what’s with people and punching walls, but this happened more often than you’d think!

This past year, my RA was  Andrea, who I didn’t end up being too close with but other than her, I found myself making friendships with the RA’s from other floors, most notably from first floor, a second year bio major, Meghan, and from sixth, a psychology major, Ben.  Of course the RA’s and I got along as well, but I find myself looking back, wondering what to write for this segment and realized how much positive influence Meghan and Ben made in my first year, not only just as an University student but as a new student in residence.  However, when I had arrived in Risley, I was so homesick.  

You wouldn’t be able to tell by just looking at me now, but I was so homesick.  So homesick that I had cried almost everyday and anywhere.  I remember David Kerr, one of the two head front desk staff, asked me if I was okay because, well, I guess he noticed I was down.  I started crying on the spot.  But then again, David is a really good friend now, so maybe that wasn’t a terrible thing that happened! But as good as that new forged friendship is, I felt as if I had made the wrong decision by moving so far, so suddenly.  It was, after all, my first time living alone, living away from the sheltered roof of my parents.  Looking back, I can confirm that I was still just as excited, but my sorrow overpowered my excitement and fear lingered in my every decision.  I can recall my peers and some of my teachers asking me if it was an “impulsive decision”, perhaps it was, I can’t even remember anymore - but impulsive or not, it was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my short 18-almost-19 year old life.  In Halifax, I didn’t have any of my elementary or highschool friends; I had no one that I really knew or felt comfortable around, and I guess that made me come off as passive (which I kind of admit, I kind of am), and made me seem more reserved than I actually am.

Basically, making friends was hard.

There was one thing that soothed me that Vancouver and Halifax had in common, and that was it’s coast - the sea.  Luckily for me, Halifax was right by the ocean.  Exiting the building, if I went right - the sea was there and if I went to the left, through downtown Halifax, I’d end up at the Waterfront.  I gotta admit that the Waterfront and beaches in British Columbia are far superior.

If I left Risley Hall and took a right, this is where I’d end up.  The rowing teams for both Dalhousie and the neighbouring (rival?) school, Saint Mary’s, would practice here.

Though I say that BC’s ocean is superior, I have to admit that the East’s sea and rivers are beautiful as well.   I found myself coming to this location quite often, though against my Mother’s wishes of “don’t wander around at night!”, “don’t come here by yourself!” - the first two months at the very least, I found myself wandering here, sitting on the rocks if the tide was low or sitting on the makeshift bench if the tide was higher.  Every time something bothered me, I was scared, stressed, sad, I’d come here.  Like I said earlier, for the first two months, that was pretty often.

As for friends, I had mentioned earlier of a new found friend, Mikayla.  That friend ended up introducing me to a few of her other friends, (and before you ask, yes Mikayla is quite the social butterfly).  She introduced me to Caitlin Singleton and Kylee Smith.  I’m not sure where along the way we met Jessica Perry and Kirsten Clarke but we ended up all being friends.  Because of a fire alarm (for some reason, they were quite frequent in the beginning of the year), we ended up meeting Victoria Byrka; who, when I look back now, was just as scared and alone as I was (if not, and if you’re reading this Vic, forgive me, haha).

A more detailed post about them and how our little group formed is in this blog post.  

Pictured from left to right: Caitlin, me, Mikayla, Victoria. We had gone on a Ghost Tour as it was one of the available activities during Orientation Week (Halifax is apparently a very haunted city).  You can tell how uncomfortable I was at the time. (Circa, September 2016).

I had written about these girls before, but it was so nice to have actual friends that I could talk to and in a way, ease myself into the Haligonian (as they say) lifestyle.  We were there for each other no matter what, no matter who it involved.  I remember the time Mikayla and her long-time (now ex-) boyfriend broke up, it surprised me how involved the girls were in helping her out of her difficult transition from a long term and serious relationship.  It surprised myself that I was that involved with someone.  The night of the Ghost Tour was only one of the many nights we would spend together; from drunken nights gone awry, to casual nights eating SnappyTomatoes we had ordered earlier in the night, nights where we’d chat away in the hallway (quietly of course), into the late hours until the sun began to poke it’s head out.  Another thing about Residence Life that I loved was the constant companionship - I could literally walk down from my second floor room to their first floor hallway and they’d all be there. 

I’m more comfortable in this picture.  We had gone to a Clay Cafe as part of a “Girls’ Bonding Night”.

I had initially chosen to colour in a mug of a shark, but I guess halfway through I thought ‘I know how to make this lamer’ - and drew inspiration from League of Legends champion,Tahm Kench (albeit, done badly!) - Pre-Glazed cup.

So unlike schools in British Columbia, Dalhousie gets two reading breaks (which is basically a one week break in the semester), and for my first reading break I decided to head west (not too west though) to visit my friend’s family.  She wasn’t there as she attends a university in Ontario, but her family is pretty much my family.  We had been in contact, and her mother had invited me up when I had time.  I booked a bus ticket with MaritimeBus or whatever it’s called and left the first day of Reading Break, headed for Moncton, New Brunswick. 

Along the way, we stopped by a few places...

Both are still in Nova Scotia.  I believe after Truro, we headed into New Brunswick.  By then, my phone had been depleted of it’s life juices and I couldn’t take pictures (or Snapchat geotags).

As you can probably tell with the picture of Amherst, I arrived in New Brunswick late at night, where Janet’s (previously known as Helen) parents greeted me at the terminal. One thing I noticed right off the bat is how flat Moncton was.  I mean, to be completely fair, Halifax is pretty flat too.  But at least Halifax had a few highrises and corporate office buildings popping up once in a while, but Moncton was super, super, flat.

Another thing you notice about the small city is that all the signs are bilingual.  Stop signs have both “stop” and “arrête”.  Which I thought was pretty interesting and half of me wished all of Canada did that.

The next morning, I got a better look at Moncton.  I have to say, in the fall, the west coast’s maple leaves just do not compare to the east’s.  I have never seen so many maple trees in one place at once, and the colours were so vibrant.  So many fire reds, stunning oranges, glistening golds and so on;  even the leaves transitioning from green to red or orange were stunning.  As we drove down to the Bay of Fundy, leaves rained down on us in a shower of golds, reds and oranges.  If I only had the time to snap a picture ...

The Bay of Fundy was quite an interesting place, first of all the Bay itself was a colour of chocolate milk or light coffee.  Perhaps it’s because of the dirt or mud? I have no idea and I should really go Google it but that’d take away from the wonder I captivated and was about to write about so I won’t for now.

Tay Zonday would go crazy writing a song for this one.

The Bay of Fundy also had another interesting environmental quirk (I guess I can call it that?). The Hopewell Rocks, also called the Flowerpot rocks.

Moncton was also where I did my first escape room! I had done the puzzle with my friend’s sister, Michelle, and her friends - who had invited me initially to hear about my experiences at Dalhousie.

The escape room was in your typical Prison escape-esque format.  We honestly could’ve escaped, as we were so close but alas, we failed.

Despite what our signs say, we failed.  New Brunswick is the only province that is actually bilingual - that’s why we also had French signs.

Thus ended my trip in New Brunswick.

Sometime in between Reading Break I think, I ended up taking care of fish.

Like, betta fish.  Three of them actually.  One, that was owned by my good friend Mikayla (his name was Gilbert!) and the others, Fluffy and Brute, owned by another friend, Leslie.

Anyone who had me on Snapchat was basically spammed with fish snaps.

It’s me and Gilbert.

Leslie’s fish, both dead now (RIP), Brute on the left and Fluffy on the right.

Again I think I told a lot of people that I’d be attending Dalhousie in hope of getting into their dental hygiene program - and this will serve as an update and more like a final decision on that.   As I was preparing for it, studying to get good grades for it, I got so burnt out.  Perhaps it’s because I didn’t have an outlet for my constantly rising stress and anxiety, perhaps it’s because I actually never really had an interest in such subject.  Like I said in another blog post, I always had an interest in news, politics, then later writing.  People like Peter Mansbridge and Sukhi Ghuman inspired me, drove my desire to go into either broadcasting or politics, or maybe both.  I could never really go against my science-minded parents’ wishes and for some reason, I decided to follow what they wanted instead of what I wanted, instead of believing I could go into something I wanted and actually succeed, I believed that I would fail in life, be poor or miserable if I hadn’t gone into a discipline my parents had mapped out for me. Attending Dalhousie while taking classes like Political Science, Gender and Women’s studies, and European History made me realize how well I actually did in those classes and how much, (and more importantly) how much I actually enjoyed those type of classes.  More writing, more reading up on cases, past experiences and accounts of others, and I guess in general, more reading.

Of course that doesn’t mean that I did terrible in my science classes - I did well actually, but I felt more joy and satisfaction getting back an A- or + paper from Political Science rather than stressing over identifying sutures and types of synovial joints in both my anatomy/physiology classes.

So, many of you probably already know that I had switched majors to political science and sociology (double major), hoping to get into law, or to focus really into politics.

This change, brought a new friend.

In my political science classes, both semesters, there was this guy I didn’t really notice at first but as first semester wrapped up and second semester took place, and the political science class dropped from 300-something people to a measly 70 (and less probably) people, you begin to notice more people.  

Yes, this is how I met Joshua Collins.

I think I can say that Josh is my best friend in Halifax.

Josh, is this guy:

A good looking guy, eh? This was taken during our end of year dinner (just the two of us because we’re super cute) at Your Father’s Moustache.

I get a lot of “how did you and Josh meet?” and “are you two dating?”. To answer those questions, I’ll first tackle the second question and then dive into how Josh and I became friends and how we ended up becoming best friends -

No, Josh and I are not dating.  Next question:

Well again, Josh was in both my political science classes, both in first and second semester but we ended up actually talking in Professor L. Carbert’s political science class in second semester.  We had worked and studied together, and we ended up pooling our answers together along with Ryan Kaulbach, resulting in 98-99%’s on our take home quizzes.  From there we started talking, walking to class together and ordering late night food together.  Months and months of this resulted in the beautiful friendship that Josh and I have now.

One of the many nights Josh and I ordered food.

We talk about everything.  Go everywhere.  I’m fairly certain Josh knows more about my weird quirks than anyone else, especially my pet peeves when it comes to the breakfast/lunch/dinner table.

We went on a little adventure out on the city and got Goji’s (Froyo).  Marking the first time Josh ever had froyo! We’re so cute.

Speaking of dating, during my first semester at Dalhousie, I had broken up with my (ex)boyfriend, (we’re still really good friends so things are fine! Broke up on a good note).  Like in my previous post about my experience dating on the east coast as an ethnic minority, I’ll probably repeating myself when I say this but - I got a lot of backhanded compliments and desire/lust because of my ethnic background.  On the other hand, I also received a lot of rejection, again, because of my ethnic background.  I had met up with a Chinese-Canadian student who was raised in Halifax, he had expressed his struggles growing up in the traditionally conservative city.  That had really broadened my mind in a way I got to experience something without even really feeling it.  What he said was so relatable, even though I didn’t actually live through what he had, but just experiencing the racial divide at 18, as someone who’s been around so much racial tolerance and acceptance, it was as if I moved almost backwards in progress in terms of racial equality - the change had shook me up.

The change actually scared me to go outside, and perhaps this is also fueled by the fact I was unfamiliar with the city.

Let me just say, the weather was dynamic as heck.  The winds, unlike the wind in British Columbia, were like knives.   You British Columbians thought the snow was bad this year? I’m fairly certain, you guys haven’t experienced what a real blizzard is.  Apparently, even according to my Nova Scotia native friends, this past winter was the worst they’ve seen in a long while.  Classes were canceled days at a time, or occasionally if the school deemed things to be clear enough to hold afternoon classes, the morning classes would still be canceled, and since I ended my school-day at around 11:25am -  there were days where I had no class at all. 

The snow piled up super high too.  It came up to my waist in during the peak of the snowfall.  However, unlike Vancouver again, Halifax does a really good job cleaning up the snow.  The main roads and the busier sidewalks were clear of snow the next morning usually - which, I heard, didn’t really happen back west.

A view peering out from Risley Hall’s Meal Hall featuring, Dalhousie’s Snap GeoTag.

Again, peering out from Risley’s Meal Hall.

This one’s from the window from second floor, first tower.  Giving you the view of a snow topped Student Union Building to the right, the Marion McCain building straight ahead and a bit of the Killam Library on the left.

The campus itself is sprawled across the historic city.  Making Halifax a city that really caters to the young academic minds that inhabit the coast-side metro.  With that, comes to lively night-life.  If you’re not 19 yet, then it wouldn’t be a very fun town to live in (which was my personal experience).  There was a board game cafe that actually required you to be 19+, I have no idea why mainly because I never asked.   The city itself is beautiful though - you could really feel the history ooze out of every nook and cranny.  So many old government buildings, memorials, plaques, and more.  The architecture was so old fashioned and European with it’s tall structure and brick exteriors, yet there were signs of budding modern changes in the city, like tall corporate buildings, graffiti that sprawled across, what it seemed like, unreachable heights. 

Halifax, where contemporary clashes with history.

A shopping district in downtown Halifax; wasn’t on the main road but a friend and I took a little detour to get here.

Downtown Halifax.

A view on a rainy day, straight ahead is the Student Union Building.  Photo snapped in front of LeMarchant Place.

Overall I gotta say, Dalhousie was fun.  My first year was fun.  Sure, I had trouble adjusting at first but once I really got into it and found my place, things weren’t so bad.  I made a bunch of good friends and a few really, really, good ones, experienced a ton, and learned a lot about myself.

Like what kind of drunk I am.

Reading Break pt. 2.  I believe this was the only time I agreed to go out, and drink.  Needless to say, I got very drunk and I couldn’t touch vodka for months.  I’m not a good drunk either.  How do I know? Let’s just say there’s a few videos of me out there...

Studying was fun, wait - I’m sorry, studying what I was interested in was fun, and working toward a goal I was actually committed to kept me occupied.

Rare (actually very common) images of my study spread.

Initially, this blog (dalhousiediaries) started up as a joke between me and a group of my friends in BC (4am).  It also started as a way to prove myself that I can stay committed to a project or a long-term goal.  I’m happy and proud to say that I’ve proven myself that I can.  Thank you to everyone who made my year at Dalhousie, in Halifax, Nova Scotia, so memorable. 

What’s next for me? Well I got the position of front desk staff this coming semesters, so I’ll actually be going back to Halifax a little earlier than other returning students and even new first years.  Since I got bumped to floor president as well, I have a bigger room for the next two semesters and things are looking cozier.  It’s always hard when you first start out, no matter what it is or where you are.  That, I can say, is the best way I can summarize my first year.

Until next season.

“With man this is impossible, but with GOD all things are possible” “For I can do everything through CHRIST, who gives me strength” Matthew 19:26 and Philippians 4:18

[trickfootpike]

1, 4, 5, 10, 11, and 17 for Arlise'el and Ellasan!

questions about creating your ocs!

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?

arlise’el

so /jester voice technically it was her name, technically - but i don’t think i really count it, bc what happened was i had decided that i wanted to do a canon run-through of all the dragon age games, and i had originally conceived as my canon inquisitor before i even got close to playing her like all the others i had played - fairly lighthearted, a rogue, and i’d picked the name arlise’el out of that amazing compendium of elvhen on ao3 because it means something similar to like “brings warmth to our hearth,” which seemed fitting for a light-hearted character. but then i actually played through kallian and marian, and they were both so light-hearted and fuck-u-establishment that i got uneasy about playing a third character in my canon run-through like that. so over time lisel shifted from being that original conception to being the character that i’d try to change up most of my playthrough with

so, really, i think it was her personality of being so serious and kind of awkward and stilted socially that came first in reaction to that. her class and everything else came later as i started to expand out on the idea of wanting to play more with what i hadn’t before

ellasan

that he was lisel’s twin. really, i had nothing for the longest time other than ‘oh yea lisel’s got a twin brother back at camp,’ it just felt like she would. i liked the sound of the name for him, but i think the first thing that was actually like for him as his own defined character was his relationship with being a mage. very cocky, but also resistant and resentful of the responsibility that comes with being a first. because the twins’ relationship is so built on being so close but both thinking that the other has it better, where they unintentionally become mirrors of each other internally

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

arlise’el

hm. dalish using vallaslin, i think - it added flavor to hers the most. she took falon’din’s and takes pride and puts a lot of importance into being representative of the god of death and helping guide people to their graves. she had some involvement in funerary processes back in the clan because of it, and it was the one way that she remained tethered to her family after the twins split in responsibility; she helps the keeper and first in these responsibilities because her bloodline ties her to those roles, but it marries with her own sense of responsibility that she had freedom to pick for her vallaslin. it’s one of the few positive outlooks she has about that whole situation

ellasan

i touched on it a little above, but yea - definitely the responsibility tied to being first, but added onto that his grandfather’s role as previous keeper of the clan. there’s not only the regular responsibility of being a mage and the first, but also maintaining that legacy and owning up to that big of a predecessor. him and deshanna butt heads on it a lot because he idolizes his grandfather so much and is resistant to her own advice – and that resistance to mentorship only exacerbates his issues that eventually lead him away from the clan to fen’harel

5. Is there any significance behind their hair color? 

time for twinnies! not necessarily any symbolic stuff or anything like that, but they are both very dark-haired and specifically modeled after east asians. i remembered reading somewhere that gaider or someone high up in da said that there was no analogous asian cultures or phenotypes in… it was either thedas or the entirety of the dragon age world, i’m not sure which one. anyway, fuck that

10. If they have an LI, how much of their character is tailored to be compatible to that person?

arlise’el

!! this is so much fun because not at all. i think i’ve talked before about how much of a fckin’ fluke it is that solas and lisel even wind up together, and how outside of the circumstances of the game that would rarely if ever happen? arlise’el is socially graceless, is distrustful of magic, works best with brute strength, and her only saving grace initially is just that she cares for the every man - and her walls are made of some dense, intense, it’s-hard-to-get-to-know-someone-when-they-barely-speak solid stone. she’s been a fun experiment in trying to find a way to have two people who are similar just enough to remind each other of their bad parts fall in love anyways and bring them up face-to-face with their shit. arlise’el definitely gets the better end of it and grows from it - and solas just has that Greater Good tm hanging over his head, so he stalwarts instead

ellasan

that ellas is the one outta the twins that actually has some game did come out of his romance with cass - i think her romance quests are so cute, but they definitely don’t come from a ‘romantic at heart’ place so much as ellasan’s lil’ slytherin ass cunning self. don’t get me wrong, he does love - and like everything about him it’s Intense - but yea he did use his kind of natural intuition with others’ desires to work in his favor there, just to figure out what cass would like the most

11. Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

arlise’el

nope! i knew that there would be some attraction to men because she would be romancing solas, but it wasn’t until i was playing her - and especially thru her interactions with josie - that i went. oh. huh. neat!!

ellasan

yep! i don’t necessarily think i had him liked categorically assigned or anything, but i did know that he liked girls and guys, and had previously had a relationship in his Youth tm with another boy in the clan

17. Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

arlise’el

hm. maybe how distant she is with cassandra? they don’t hate each other or anything, just rarely interact and so none of cassandra’s questlines got solved

ellasan

i love that he winds up canonically as an agent of fen’harel - like love-love, it gives something for these two to keep butting heads over and it fits so well that they would each go to extremes - but logistically it’s given me a headache trying to figure out when, and i didn’t get how solas’d laid out his organization for the longest time. i only this morning realized ‘oh hey big boss man up top and lowly agent brother of his ex may never have personally interacted for a good reason’ so had to scrap some of what i thought i’d figured out. realized that ellasan probably wound up way lower on the totem-pole than initially intended, and what repercussions that may have of someone who loves and thrives off of having authority. so like, i don’t regret the choice specifically, but i do regret that i didn’t go about figuring it out logically first