#an egyptologist is forced to watch moon knight

[thatlittleegyptologist]

I posted 3,290 times in 2022

That's 693 more posts than 2021!

1,323 posts created (40%)

1,967 posts reblogged (60%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@rudjedet

@somecunttookmyurl

@whatmarvellousthings

@thatlittleegyptologist

@23-tiny-wishes

I tagged 1,079 of my posts in 2022

#moon knight spoilers - 19 posts

#alt text provided - 14 posts

#an egyptologist is forced to watch moon knight - 14 posts

#uk politics - 12 posts

#youtube - 8 posts

#ts4 - 8 posts

#i'm not here i scheduled these posts in april - 7 posts

#tw dead body - 6 posts

#long post - 6 posts

#time for crab - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#idk when this dates from but it feels like the victorians went ’hmm yes that one’ ‘do you know what he is?’ ‘no but make it a skull’

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Your day would be better if you saw an Ancient Egyptian glass fish

11,541 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

#4

If anyone was wondering how the UK government is faring this morning: 5 more ministers have resigned (including 2 from the cabinet) before 8am, and Boris is still like “nah this is fine”

12,179 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#3

Anyone wanna see a boy?

12,858 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

#2

UK Politics Rundown: BoJo's Bizarre Exit Edition

Ok, so, people keep asking me to explain what's going on in the UK right now, mostly because they're seeing Brits just revelling in the levels of fuckery going on. So, a brief bullet pointed run down:

Most of you have probably heard of the Sentient Mop that is Boris Johnson, former Prime Minister of the UK

Most of you probably know about his penchant for lying to the public and basically not giving a fuck about it

This culminated in a huge police investigation into literal parties this man held while we were in Covid lockdown. Including one the night before Prince Phillip's funeral at which the Queen sat alone. And if you know how the press reacted to that one, you know he was in the shit for it.

Anyway, he lied about many of those parties, got fined for attending those parties, and is still technically under Parliamentary investigation for lying to Parliament while stood on the floor of the House of Commons (the room where they yell about laws every day).

There was also a Vote of No Confidence, which is a way in which the Conservatives can remove the leader of their party if they think he's terrible. Boris won this, but by a smaller margin than he would have wanted. No new vote can be held for another year based on the current rules (more on this later)

Fast forward 2 weeks from the end of that to last week and we get some news about an MP (Chris Pincher) who initially seemed to have got drunk and done *something* (as yet it was undefined) and he was suspended from the Conservative party pending investigation.

The following day (Thursday) it emerged that it was because he had allegedly sexually assaulted two men while drunk at a Conservatives club, and that there had been reports of this behaviour before. So he had the whip (basically the ability to vote as a Conservative MP) removed.

On Friday tons of Conservatives did the rounds on the news with 'oh we didn't know he was Bad. Boris definitely didn't know or he wouldn't have appointed him to his position'

On Saturday Boris does an interview where the reporter challenges him and says 'you were told about this in December 2019), Boris then admits to knowing about it but says he 'forgot'.

People are piiiiiiiiiiiised

Fast forward to Tuesday this week (5th July 2022). Late Tuesday, two Cabinet Ministers (think of like the Secretary of State/Housing etc in the US, it's roughly equivalent) Rishi Sunak (Chancellor of the Exchequer) and Sajid Javid (Health Secretary) resign, citing Boris lying to them about many things but this being the final straw.

I mean sure lads, everything else was terrible but this is what did it huh?

Don't worry about it. Their resignations were designed to do exactly what's happened so it was a calculated move.

This kicks off what you've seen in the last 48hrs, with Cabinet Ministers, Senior Ministers, and Junior Ministers all resigning. At one point it was 6 resignations an hour.

The previous record for most ministers in a 24hr period resigning was 11 in 1932. Boris did 53.

Current total of resignations is 59. He fired Michael Gove (who's been hired and fired by the last 3 Prime Ministers, so congrats on that achievement Michael!) So it's basically at 60.

There are not enough ministers in jobs currently to run most departments

Press didn't know what to do with themselves and everyone in the UK was on Facebook marking themselves as 'attending' Boris' leaving party, and generally just having a great time with governmental collapse

Yesterday Boris refused to go. You may have seen footage of the entire House of Commons telling him goodbye very sarcastically. This is the normal levels of shithousery in the House of Commons, but it's also very funny.

Boris was still refusing to go late last night, saying he had a mandate from the people. You got this in 2019, love, it doesn't count anymore.

Literally everyone was writing letters and going on TV telling him to go, including people who'd got new jobs from him 24hrs before

Anyway, between 6:45am and 8am another 10 people resigned, which is how we got to 60 after yesterday's bonanza, and by 9:15am Boris said he would resign as PM and Tory Party leader

He is literally blaming everyone but himself at this point but no one is listening to him anymore

This has triggered a Leadership election, where untold horrors await us because that person will be the new Prime Minister....until they're forced to call a General Election

However, Boris still remains as Prime Minister for now. He said he'd stay until there was a new leader elected. So he's down, but he's not yet out.

But the fun doesn't stop yet! The 1922 Committee (the backbenches of the Tory Party in Parliament) has elections for positions on Monday and they might (and probably will) elect people who want to change the rules so that another Vote of No Confidence can be held. If that happens, the rules can be changed in less than 24hrs and they'll hold another vote to oust him before a new leader is elected. Personally, I hope Theresa May wears another ballgown to this vote after she did to the last one. Boris was the one who ousted her to become leader, so she's revelling in shithousery and it's fun to see Tory on Tory violence.

Highlights of all of this include: Reporters interrupting each other to say someone else just resigned, the people heckling Boris from the gates of Downing Street, the one guy who resigned while in a Parliamentary Committee meeting with Boris that was to discuss all the lies Boris has been telling (and informed him during this meeting. He's a Tory but the balls on that man jeez), Hugh Grant (yes, film star Hugh Grant) paying a bloke to go play the Benny Hill theme tune on Live speakers around Parliament, reporters interviewing Larry the Cat who is literally a cat and responsible for keeping the mice at bay, and every single person in the UK making memes/jokes/videos and just generally having a fantastic time as the government implodes.

Will a new leader change anything? No

See the full post

17,647 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Thinking about the Ancient Egyptians who would take their monkey to market, so the monkey could test the fruit to make sure it was ripe and maybe attack other patrons

29,850 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[thatlittleegyptologist]

#didn’t have any posts about Khonsu when i checked after i had binged Moon Knight

ah ha! I liveblogged the first 3 episodes and tagged them ‘moon knight spoilers’ or ‘an egyptologist is forced to watch moon knight’. You can’t find them because I don’t let my blog by indexed by search engines, so searching for tags does nothing. That’s my true reason for being cancelled

[thatlittleegyptologist]

Ok naughty children! Tumblr has twisted my arm and I will be watching the first episode of Moon Knight and commenting solely from an Egyptologists perspective. That means I will be saying things about it that bug me as an Egyptologist, which may make sense show wise, but I don't care about that. If you're using a statue of Senwosret III and calling it Ramesses II I will notice and twitch my eye.

two tags to block if you don't want to see this:

#moon knight spoilers

#an egyptologist is forced to watch Moon Knight

We begin with episode one:

If you don't like people hurting themselves, the first episode literally begins with someone smashing a glass, filling their shoes with the glass, then putting those shoes on.

Hoping that gets explained because that wasn't a fun cold open

His fish are living the Egypt life:

London's history museum is once again UCL's front quad and portico

There appears to be a sand model of a pyramid that kids can touch in this museum and I'm just screaming at sand getting everywhere

Child is going with Oscar Isaac. This is a stranger danger nightmare

This coffin should be in the dimly lit room back there. Paint/colour preservation my god. Also they have a colossus? Damn

He's talking about mummification to the child specifically pulling the brain out through the nose with a hook....except he says all the organs except for the heart came out the nose....hmm yes that totally happened...

how do you get a spleen out through a nostril anyway?

he then talks about needing the heart to prove worthiness to enter the afterlife and ehhh that's close enough

oh no he says only the worthy could pass through the field of reeds, which....is where you end up if you *pass* the weighing of the heart, you don't go through it to pass.

Oh my god he works there

Oh thank god he works in the gift shop

*singsong voice* why are the staff chewing gum on the museum floor

They're apparently selling Taweret plushies and I'm wondering if they're pregnant or just basic hippo. I can't tell because they're in a box.

I am 7 minutes into this programme....

[thatlittleegyptologist]

It’s Moon Knight Episode 2 time aka ‘Tumblr Forces an Egyptologist to Watch Moon Knight’! 

This is a liveblog so if you don’t want to see it please block the tags: #moon knight spoilers, and #an egyptologist is forced to watch Moon Knight

If this is painful there won’t be an episode 3 because I would like to enjoy the media I consume lmao

We begin with Episode 2....watch this space:

[thatlittleegyptologist]

alt text on all parts of this post provided by tumblr's native system

@ballad-of-adove this will be the last time I do this, so once more with feeling...

side note: Most of the 'mythology' and 'history' in this is from the comics, which is why it's so jarring. Other things like the first ep where he said 'they removed the brain and other organs through the nose' should have been picked up on. Unfortunately, since this will be many people's first experience with deeper Egyptian mythology and history, it's going to seep into the public consciousness as fact.

Block the tags #moon knight spoilers and #an egyptologist is forced to watch moon knight, if you don't want to see these posts

So, onto Ep 3 and no really I do mean this is the last time I'm doing this I really am done with it:

This is the 5th time I've started this after tumblr whitescreened and I lost my post (I've been saving drafts now, but every so often I lose an entire paragraph)

I'm pissed about that

'Archaeology, one big mess of bookworms' - ehhh most archaeologists would prefer to be in the field or in the lab rather than in the library. Or at least the ones I've met and am friends with do. Also 'mess of bookworms' defines any academic field

Ahh the classic hollywood intro to any arab setting: yellow filter, vague arab music, everyone in desert combats, sand

dunno why they're using donkeys this far out into the desert though. It should be camels. Better grip

the floaty scarab compass is back just doing its thing

oh it pointed down to say it found Ammit's tomb

good doggo scarab

Ethan Hawke's character still needs to trim his split ends, and also stop using straighteners because that hair is drrrryyyyy

we're about good hair care in this dojo

it's funny how they've managed to make Cairo look like a provincial town

Too much repeated cgi, and not enough landmarks. Amount of mosques is accurate though

just fyi the Greater Cairo area is home to 20.1 million people, and this rooftop scene looks like it's just in a random town

Traffic is also accurate

Needs that one bloke on a motorbike who weaves through traffic with a 15ft metal pole strapped to him to be 100%

Mango seller in the middle of the road is also accurate

STOP DESTROYING THE SOUK

Ohh now we're seeing more Cairo...but it still looks off

Also what is that burnt out landmark high up?

Honestly it looks like a burnt out factory attached to Djoser's pyramid

There's a shanty town underneath a cliff edge in Cairo....do these people know what Cairo looks like?

You're right. Khonshu is a stupid piegeon

That's still not what Khonsu (the actual god) looks like

I still don't even know what bird that is. Khonsu the god's bird form is a Hawk/Falcon with a moon headdress. This is neither of those things

lmao Khonshu is fucking with the sun, so I guess we're trying to piss of Ra

Can't wait to see what not bird he is

Oh finally we see actual Cairo, and the entire Giza plateau that somehow has...2 tourists despite it being peak visiting hours

The Ministry for Egyptian Antiquities is gonna be pissed at Unwashed Preacher Man and his dig crew. That's an illegal dig my dude

also taking sand away and making a chain to pass the sand up the hill, only to deposit the sand at the top so it inevitably falls back down to where you're digging is poor planning and maintenance.

Not even dug a test trench

I want an Ennead portal

lmao they banished khonshu? is it because he's in teenage rebellion? Amun and Mut gonna be having words

'Oh my days I can't believe it. We're inside, we're inside the Great Pyramid of Giza!' hey...what the fuck now?

and that's where you'll have to wait for the next bit wherein I will absolutely lose my shit

[thatlittleegyptologist]

Hey!

Firstly, I'm not an egyptologist but I've been obsessed with it ever since I partook in some weekend lecture as a child and mummified potatoes, and thus do know my fair share about it (probably not nearly as much as an actual egyptologist!). Meaning, watching 'Moon Knight' has been reasonably painful so far (I stopped watching actually).

that being said, the recent episode of 'Moon Knight' centered around the weighing of the heart, and i know that every single egyptologist is now off crying in the corner... i stopped watching when that guy reversed the night sky (for my own peace of mind), but a friend told me what happened, and uhm... Right off the bat, Taweret (she has a british accent now) was the only one present during the weighing of the heart. No Thoth, no Anubis, no Ma'at (not even Ammit), no nothing. Just Taweret, and she was doing stand-up comedy half the time...

also, the Duat was the 'bad place' (underworld ig?), they were sailing on a boat the entire time, and somehow the Field of Reeds was also thrown in there in some way or other. That's probably not all that was wrong with this episode, but I asked my friend to stop telling me what happened. I didn't feel like crying today.

Essentially, everything they COULD get wrong, they DID get wrong, and i thought I would share that pain. Watch it if you wanna have a good laugh (or cry), but like actually seriously, don't LMFAO

So, I haven't actually watched the episode yet so I'm gonna go do that now, even though I really don't want to watch the programme anymore. But yeah, all that's horseshit. Taweret is the goddess of childbirth and fertility. She shouldn't be anywhere near the Weighing of the Heart. But it does demonstrate my fear that they've Disney-fied Taweret into some sidekick al la every Disney film of the 90s i.e. Mushu. I have no idea why she's British, that's just really weird.

The Duat isn't a bad place, that's weird and the weighing didn't take place on a boat it was a 'hall' or at least that's what the Egyptians refer to it as. 'The dead will drag you down into the duat' hmm nope, that's Nun and you don't get dragged by the dead. What is happening? Where are the 42 Judges of the Hall?

I have many questions, and I know for a fact this programme will answer precisely none of them.

[thatlittleegyptologist]

Any chance we'll get an egyptologist review of Moon Knight (new marvel show on Disney+) as the episodes come out?

I wasn't going to watch it, sorta moved on from Disney's never ending Marvel show cascade, but if people want me to review it or maybe liveblog each episode I might do. But it's only if people want me to. I won't force myself to watch this for my own sake.

eta: You guys actually have to say so, or I won't. I need very literal responses because otherwise I don't know if you do or not.