#anakin (feeling absolutely rotten and dark sidey): Not gr9 right now my dude

[tennessoui]

In the couples counseling au, I SUPER duper get a kick out of imagining the eventual fallout when the counselor breaches the topic of Anakin having a whole ass wife. Just the idea of some innocuous question of her asking Anakin like “well how would you feel if you discovered Obi Wan had a secret spouse?” And Anakin just. Just loses all color in his face, eyes bugging out of his head, panics in Obi Wan’s general direction. Obi Wan of course is oblivious.

anakin, internally: i would know if he had a secret spouse.

anakin to anakin: but didn't palpatine mention seeing him leave a senator's room once???? could that be his secret husband??

anakin: we have dinner every other night, he has no time for a spouse.

anakin to anakin: but we only have dinner with him every other night....that leaves plenty of nights where he could be either meeting his secret spouse or inviting them into his quarters.....MY home....

anakin: omg he could be spending time with his secret spouse while i'm visiting padmé.......

obi-wan: oh, look what you've done, counselor sheari, you've given him heart palpitations

anakin to anakin: he didn't deny it.

(after the session)

anakin on the star wars phone: hey pads, angel, light of my life, etc etc, my mindhealer said.....um.....(checks hand) that it would be good for me to spend continuous time in a familiar environment. like for weeks at a time. every meal. just in case.

padmé: oh excellent! when can i expect you tonight? i may be back late of course, but you know by now to make yourself at home.

anakin: yes well. about that..........