#and I don’t think I have to explain about Hiyori and Ikuya’s smile

[badpostureart]

Message in a Bottle (pt. 2)

For anon, who asked my thoughts about secondary characters in Free! (continued).

I like Natsuya, I really do, but the guy needs to smarten up! While it’s totally understandable that he wanted his little brother to step out from his shadow and become his own person, I think it’s unwise to just throw Ikuya in the proverbial deep end, watch him almost drown himself, and refuse to help him. It’s obvious that Natsuya cares a lot about Ikuya, but he seems to struggle with actually being there for him. I don’t know why as an older brother, knowing your baby brother is shy, you wouldn’t try and introduce him to other kids or offer to do things together. It sounds like he just stopped showing up for Ikuya and didn’t explain to him why. Now, it isn’t Natsuya’s fault that Ikuya became a moody son-of-a-bitch as he got older, but he made it so that Ikuya didn’t feel comfortable confiding in him anymore. There would be no need to strap Hiyori with the responsibility of looking out for Ikuya and giving him updates about how he’s doing if Natsuya would just show up. Then again, it wasn’t until recently that Natsuya even considered showing up for himself and thinking seriously about what he wants to do with his life…maybe he thinks commitment is scary, hm?

I don’t think Natsuya purposely withheld love/affirmation from his brother. Maybe he just underestimated how badly he needed it or felt too awkward to say how proud of him he was. How all of this became Haru’s fault of all people is beyond me, and maybe that’s why seeing the Kirishimas actually reconcile and start to communicate felt…just meh. I’m not sure Natsuya understood the gravity of what he did, nor do I think Ikuya directed his hurt at the right person. They’re in a much better place than they were, but I’m not sure either brother fully owned up to anything, does that make sense?

Which segways to Ikuya himself. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that some of my frustrations with this kid may simply be due to projection. I too was once a moody son-of-a-bitch, so I get it, I do. And because I get it, I know that at a certain point, you gotta own up to it. You gotta say, “My attitude is shit. Yeah, people have let me down, and I feel lonely and angry, but I can’t keep holding onto all this shit and being miserable. I have to do something about it.”

In Dive to the Future, Ikuya expressed wanting to be a hero like Haru: “Not a hero that fights evil and stuff, but the kind that everyone looks up to. The kind that helps out whenever someone is lost or stuck.” But the only “heroic” thing Ikuya seemed to have done since smiling at another kid in kindergarten was convincing his university team captain to put Hiyori on the relay team with him at regionals—which they should have been doing together the whole time anyway! Then in the Final Stroke, Ikuya tells Rin, “Back then, I looked at the stars with Haru like this…as I made a wish to be able to swim faster.” So, was he just saying that “hero” stuff to look good? Or does he think that people admire Haru simply because he is a fast swimmer?! See, here I go getting pissed off again!

This is perhaps a bit off-topic, but something that both frustrated and interested me was Ikuya’s curiosity about the nature of Haru’s relationship with Rin. He’s straightforward in asking Rin if he’s happy to see Haru win or finds it frustrating, he tags along with them to see the venue in Sydney despite being “well aware…that this is an important place to you [two],” and asks Rin if he was okay not being in the room with Haru after he collapsed for the nth time. It seems as though the primary reason Ikuya wanted to start spending time with Rin was to try and sus out why he’s so important to Haru. On the one hand, it feels like he’s intruding and being nosy. But on the other hand, the more he pries, the more Rin talks about how much he adores Haru and the more it’s made plain that Haru feels the same way…and as a member of the Rinharu propaganda department, I hoard those moments like treasure! 

Ikuya certainly pisses me off, but he’s not a bad person, y’know? Just dramatic! But so am I for getting so worked up over his shenanigans!!

For someone who has always been “mature for his age,” Hiyori has a really warped understanding of how friendships work. Ikuya was patient and reached out to Hiyori when nobody else seemed to give him the time of day and from thenceforth, he became this glorified hero figure in Hiyori’s eyes that he wanted to hoard for himself. He actively chased away people who tried to get close to Ikuya, dubbing them unworthy of being his friend, even though those people would probably become his friends too if he wasn’t such a territorial weirdo. Even after Ikuya reconciles with his old relay team (despite Hiyori’s attempts at preventing this), Hiyori remains weirdly possessive over Ikuya. When Sousuke compliments Ikuya’s strength as a swimmer in light of Sydney’s prelims, Hiyori thanks him. Sousuke, reasonably enough, wonders why he’s saying thank you. I don’t think it was because Hiyori was trying to take credit for Ikuya’s strength or to thank Sousuke on his behalf, but more likely that he means to say thanks for complimenting his Ikuya. Hiyori seriously gives me the heebie-jeebies!

Also, I still can’t believe he got away without so much as a bloody nose after telling Haru that “everyone who swims with you ends up suffering somehow, huh?” The sheer audacity is baffling!

Ryuuji, much like Haru, has unorthodox methods and is a bit of a weirdo, so I think he’s a good fit as his coach. However, I also think he’s sometimes too hard on Haru and his advice that he should “throw things away” to become a better swimmer is fucking awful. I won’t go as far as saying that Haru’s falling out with Rin after Sydney is Ryuuji’s fault, and I don’t think he was wrong to tell Rin that he needed to fix things himself, but Ryuuji was the one to tell Haru that “the only ones who make it are the ones who don’t waver an inch, even if something happens to someone they care about.” Or in other words, one shouldn’t let things in their personal life affect their swimming, no matter how dear or important. This logic operates under the assumption that swimming is (and should be) completely divorced from everything and everyone else, which is directly contrarian to how Haru swims! It’s literally what sets Haru apart from someone like Albert! Moreover, if your athlete calls you in the middle of the night out in the pouring rain and tells you he’s ready to sacrifice everything to improve despite explicitly saying previously that he won’t do that, you’d probably think something must’ve happened, right? Then you watch him over-exert himself because he’s in a hurry against his own anatomy and your solution is to shove Rin against a wall and tell him that it’s his responsibility to fix things with Haru?

I’ve never been in sports myself, so I can’t say for sure to what degree a good coach should be involved in their athlete’s personal life when it’s clearly affecting how they perform. Still, I don’t know how realistic it is to expect Haru to just forget everything while he swims—because on the one hand, it’s important to focus on himself as he is instead of pushing himself too hard in order to surpass others, but on the other, distancing himself from the people that he cares about so he can spend all his time and energy training is counterintuitive because his bonds are where he draws his strength from. I suppose this is why the expression “don’t mix business and pleasure” exists because swimming simply isn’t “just a job” for Haru, nor is it separate from everything else he cares about. This is his life we’re talking about here! I hate the idea that life is supposed to stop just because a person has a job to do!

And hell, maybe I’m misinterpreting things and Ryuuji’s stupid advice to Haru had no impact on his decision to throw himself into a self-destructive spiral. But if Ryuuji wants Haru to avoid the mistakes he once made, I think it's unwise to advise him to stop concerning himself with people he cares about. Y’know that shit Ryuuji told Rin? That he needs to “grab on to what’s important” to him “and not let it go”? That’s the advice he needs to give Haru too. He doesn’t need to give up anything—all he’s ever had to be is himself. Wait, shut up. Just as I’m typing this out, I realized that Rin pulling Haru into an embrace in the night pool is literally grabbing on to what’s important and not letting go. Oh! I’m gonna make myself cry! GOD, I LOVE RINHARU! Much like Haru’s personal life being intertwined with swimming, BadPosture’s Free!meta is never without Rinharu!

Kinjou is an arrogant son-of-a-bitch with a history with Ikuya and Hiyori that I am completely oblivious to. I’m seriously wondering if there was another movie or something that I missed because I don’t know what’s going on with them. He shows up for the first time at the end of Road to the World to tell Hiyori that he thinks he’s worse off being friends with Ikuya and to call him “Hiyori Crybaby.” I don’t remember Hiyori’s character ever being established as a crybaby, so I’m not sure where this nickname came from. Then in the first part of the Final Stroke, we see that Hiyori and Kinjou met as kids, but something else must’ve happened between then and university because kid-Hiyori moving away suddenly doesn’t explain Kinjou’s animosity towards Ikuya.

At the prelims, Kinjou calls Ikuya “Mermaid Princess Hero,” which means he’s probably heard Ikuya’s claim that he “gave up his heart in order to get stronger,” but “couldn’t become human.” Who’s to say if he knows anything about Haru? Anyway, he also brought over another breaststroke swimmer named Kotetsu Sudou to intimidate Ikuya, saying, “You might always be pushing Hiyori and your brother around…but don’t get full of yourself.” So…Kinjou bullies Ikuya because he doesn’t want him going around thinking he’s hot shit? I was gonna say that this is pretty unnecessary, but I just remembered the whole “Bullying Ikuya For Sport” thing, so I guess I’m not one to talk… Anyway, he goes on to say something rather curious about Ikuya’s performance at prelims: “Don’t show me such mediocre swimming. There’s too big of a gap between you and Sudou…even though there’s someone rooting for you.” Does he think that Ikuya’s performance should be enhanced knowing that he has Hiyori back home rooting for him? While that’s an awfully romantic statement, it’s not exactly realistic! Then later, Kinjou confides to Hiyori that he’s jealous of Ikuya because he’s “blessed” …presumedly in the form of cheerleaders Natsuya and Hiyori. Perhaps knowing that Ikuya takes his support system for granted is what makes Kinjou dislike him. (And perhaps he and I have more in common than I thought!) Then again, in the second part of the Final Stroke, Kinjou apologizes to Ikuya for “always lashing out” at him and Hiyori, effectively resolving the matter less than two minutes into the movie. So…that’s that?  

Then there’s the business with Kinjou’s cousin, Kiyo. What the hell happened to him? Is he even still alive? Because I know next to nothing about this mystery relative, Kinjou’s conversation with Ryuuji about him “going through a lot” is really confusing! And then in the next movie, Ryuuji says to Kinjou, “I’ll save you someday, too!” LIKE I’M SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. (And in case you forgot, Ryuuji, your only charge ends up in rehab after one season of you coaching him! You aren’t in any position to be saving anybody, bitch!!) Anyway, it’s obvious that Kinjou’s arrogance is his way of overcompensating for the fact that he’s a lot more sensitive and cares more than he wants to let on. He’s something of a tsundere whose actions run contrarian to his words—because while he keeps saying that he’s only swimming for himself, he joins the Haru protection squad and swims to give Haru a chance at competing in the final. So, in short, I think Kinjou is alright, but I haven’t spent enough time with him to get to know him, y’know?

Albert is something of an enigma, but mostly because I have no idea what his motivations are. He’s an ominous figure in the world of swimming, with the nickname “Odin” instead of the usual animal motif. Mikhail cautions Rin that his swimming is “out of this world” and Isuzu says there are rumours that anyone who swims with him “feels their mind being torn apart.” But when he meets Haru, he seems…nice? He’s not arrogant like Kinjou and he actually seemed to be kind of free-spirited. We see that he’s an exceptionally quick learner and he acknowledges Haru as a swimmer. Nevertheless, competing against Albert disrupted Haru’s subconsciousness (in that the answer to the big “why do you swim” question gets fuzzy in his mind) …but I’m not exactly sure why. Mind you, Albert’s interactions with Haru after they met are just downright bizarre. He says such cryptic shit like, “The water favours you, I can tell,” but he seemed so genuinely pleased that I can’t get a proper read on him at all!

It’s my understanding that Albert’s team manager is living vicariously through him, and so Albert has been strapped with the expectations and dreams of someone else. I can understand why he’s a clinical swimmer because the only things that matter to his team are his appearances and results. With that all said, I wonder if Albert chose to miss the finals in Sydney partly as an act of defiance against his manager and partly to fuck with the psyche of other swimmers—especially after dismissing Kinjou completely before the semi-finals and telling Haru that he’s “not swimming for fun today. I’m just going out there to do my job.”

Feeling as though he had to take on Albert alone is what made Haru “throw everything away” (in the form of a dissociative episode where he breaks things off with Rin), and then launch himself into self-destructive training under Ryuuji. The second part of the Final Stroke is all about Haru recanting that idea and accepting the support of others. Meanwhile, Albert is hardly in this movie at all! I think my biggest question is whether or not Albert likes or wants to break the spirits of other swimmers. I honestly don’t think he does, so I can’t help but feel bad for him. Still, his general cadence is so fucking weird! I have no clue what he’s thinking at all!

[redxblueihateloveyou]

how do you think rinharu will solve this issue? having rin stay in japan won't solve haru's abandonment issues and i wonder if competitive swimming is meant for haru, he seems to struggle a lot

Nah-ah, competitive swimming is not the problem here. He has the same amount of struggles with it as Rin and Ikuya. He actually as we saw in s3 surprisingly likes it a lot, and he was very excited about taking on Albert and he wasn't even upset about losing to him, he got worked up. It's like yeah, he takes pressure from others worse than Rin, but Rin for example is taking loses far worse than Haru. But this in fact doesn't mean they can't handle those. They both know that it's just how competitions are and they both knew what they were going for. And when Haru is happy, trash-talking opponents make him go lol and he just has his fun with this too.

The additional stress just simply unlocked the real reason why he's hurt. If it wasn't for this Rin thing he carries with him for like 10 years this would be nothing. Stress from the competition, but more specifically the fact that Albert kinda took away his main stress-relief by "polluting" the water just gave it a rise, but it's not the cause of that. Thinking of Rin easily resolved the "water pollution", letting him pass the free race. It's watching Rin lose and taking it this way that just triggered his ptsd.

The problem was and is what Aki said back when they were little “Nanase-kun seems like he can do anything all by himself, doesn’t he? He’s good at studying and sports and even art. He really can do anything, right? That’s why everyone relies on him, but it would really be something for Nanase-kun to rely on anyone, wouldn’t it?”

It's the fact that he feels too much, feels for everyone and his inability to ask for help in this case from the only person who can help him and from whom he needs it the most.

The problem is that last year when Hiyori decided to laugh about Rin leaving him into his face, rubbed salt into his deepest wound, Haru in return only gave him positive energy, swam with him, gave him happy Ikuya back and watched them being happy while smiling. Did Hiyori maybe say that he didn't mean those words? No. Did someone else the moment he said it corrected him? No. Where do you think stuff like this go?

The problem is that s1 drama was resolved just for Rin. It was never resolved for Haru. It's been just piling up for like 7 years now. I once again will say it, Rin only told Rei that none of that was Haru's fault, Haru still to this day thinks it is.

As for the second part, in my opinion, this isn't quite just about his abandonment issues, it's about his Rin issue. Bc it really doesn't matter if he's in Japan or not in Japan, in a free race or not in a free race (bc whether Rin chose to swim free or not, Rin is right there, and they can still be on a relay team together, and travel together etc). This is only partially about his fear of him leaving.

The problem here is that for Haru it's never enough. When everything was fine and he could swim against Rin and had a great relay team of his friends, he wasn't satisfied.

Rin was near the whole season, he still missed him.

They spent whole days alone together, was that enough? No. He still didn't want him to leave.

But saying stuff like "I know we came here to support our kohais, but please, don't leave, sit with me, not with them" is selfish, no matter how much you want it.

Here he is right next to him. Still not enough.

My point is.. thats not what this is about and I'm pretty sure that's not what Haru's talking about. It's bc he always does everything to stay with him for as long as possible, but Rin is blind as a bat and deaf as a doornail.

And I don't really know what else you can say in some situations. Bc like when Rin spent the night at Haru's and Haru asked him to wake him up at 5am just to spend more time with him Rin answered with something like "hahaha that's great, good night".

And I will never in general understand how Rin even translates what Haru says. Bc when Haru asked him to call, Rin read it as "let me disappear for 5 years, go home for each holiday and avoid you like a plague".

And this outburst of "the greatest pain of my life is when you leave" was read as "let me just leave again".

The problem is Haru tried and tried to ask and show things in many different ways (which was pretty hard considering how he is), but couldn't ask directly for what he really wanted for obvious reasons. And no joke, there is a chance that Rin still wouldn't get it even if he did.

Rationally I think the resolve would be pretty simple, Rin will just enter the free race, bring him back and they'll talk after that.

It's just that with the way this set up right now, for Haru to be happy... I only see one option for how this talk can go, that I always was sure this anime can't give us. But then again I also do not quite get why even go there then.

I guess what I mean is with all my imagination I can't understand how he can ask for help in this situation, except for like I wrote here to ask him "just... be with me. I really need you to just be with me." If he already admitted how much it hurt him each time he left, idk what he's supposed to say at this point.. "please, stay and love me"? also "please, tell me what happened all those years ago isn't my fault" (he won't, bc he thinks it is), "please tell me you painfully missed me each time you were away too" (not to this extent, no, at least first times)?

What I personally want is same thing as in a fic for Rin to ask him to just tell him the truth, ask him to "please, I need you to talk". Gradually, step by step, from the beginning, all that's been eating him up all this years. Just to please tell Rin everything, so he could honestly reassure him, clear up all their misunderstandings, just TALK.

Bc if he let it all out, Rin can easily erase all of Haru's doubts and that nonsense that he is the reason why Rin never stays, that he was the reason he left in the first place etc, and eradicate the root of the problem, after this Haru would stop reacting to each time Rin leaves for a grocery store as if it's WW3.

P.S. I honestly think everyone should just go turn on Sam Smith - My Oasis and cry with Haru, bc this is probably the closest it can come to explain how he feels and just the whole mood for this situation rn. Like I've made a gifset to this a while ago, but rn the whole song is just super on point.

P.P.S. what I'm saying shortly is we all know how you can stop Haru's struggles easily, but what they would come up with hell if I know.

[makeusfreefromthisfandom]

First of all i want to give a shout out to @ayumiko​ for letting me use her amazing gifs in my writing! I mean just look at them! Be sure to go check out her stuff <3 (the middle gif’s credit goes to @atticwraith)

Overlooked | Ikuya Kirishima x Reader

Anon asked: Hi! Can I request an Ikuya x reader? Maybe a reader who’s really outgoing and stuff, kind of like the total opposite of him. At first he’s kind of annoyed by them, but then he slowly warms up and actually misses them when they’re out sick from school. He goes and visits and things go from there! As a fic writer myself, I thank you so much for providing for fandoms! You’re doing amazing.

A/n: sorry if the ending is a bit tacky, I didn’t know exactly how to end it off

Genre: a bit angsty? fluff at the end

Word count: ~2k this ones a bit long

“Catch up with you guys later ok?” You waved your teammates goodbye as soon as you had spotted a familiar head of deep sea green hair.

“Hey Ikuya!” He turned around and was met with your big smile, nodding in response. You quickly made your way over to him before noticing a third party.

“Oh, hello to you too Hiyori.” Your smile was returned with a little wave of his own. Teeth clenched, because we know he’s internally screaming

“First name basis huh?” Hiyori asked tartly, however a smile still present on his features.

“No need to be so uptight! We’ve all been given a name for a reason, so we can be called by it! By the way we’ve all been acquainted long enough.” You nudged Hiyori slightly in return, glancing at Ikuya, who just cared about making it to class on time. “Which is why I’m constantly telling you two to also call me (f/n)!”

“Hmmm.” Hiyori gave you a closed eyed smile before picking up the pace to catch up with his friend. I’m telling’ ya, internal screaming.

“Hey you two! Wait up!”

Students shuffled into the classroom, you took your usual seat next to Ikuya. You were taking notes when something had caught your eye. “Woah! You’re a really good artist Ikuya!” You leaned in next to him, pointing at the little doodles on the edge of his paper. Instinctively, the boy grabbed his notebook, blocking it from your view.

“T-They’re nothing.” He stated simply and went back to writing, this time with a protective arm shielding his work.

“...you could just take the compliment you know..” you muttered looking away. You felt a tap on your shoulder, making your eyes light up, only to find that it was just another classmate asking for help. You sighed and leaned over behind Ikuya to try and explain the problem.

The bell rang not too soon after. You and Ikuya began gathering your things, fingers brushing slightly in the process. You had managed to stumble out a sorry, but found that the boy was already halfway out the door; oblivious to you, with a small dust of pink hinted on his cheeks.

The next few days were the same, school work, friends, volleyball (yes you play volleyball k? I was watching haikyuu. I couldn’t help it), more volleyball, and failed attempts at a conversation with Ikuya.

“Hey Ikuya! Check it out! There’s a new cafe that’s opened nearby, some friends and I are gonna go check it out, you wanna come?”

“No, sorry I’ve got plans.”

Each day made your heart sink even more, along with the pile of stress, schoolwork and volleyball weighing on your shoulders. Nevertheless, you put on the same bright smile, known to everyone around you, and kept on.

“(L/n)?” Your face lit up at the sound of the familiar voice to your right, “...my eraser rolled over, can you reach it?”

“Huh? Yeah sure!” You gave him a smile and bent down, holding your hand out slightly before something struck you.

Why? Why do I feel like I need his attention? Why am I so pathetic? The realization was like a stab, penetrating deeper and deeper.

“(L/n)?.....(l/n)?....are you okay?”

You broke out of your trance and reached for the eraser, “S-sorry.” You placed the eraser in Ikuya’s hand, who was now looking at you with slight concern. You were silent after that, paying mind to your own work, failing to notice the boy next to you glance at you with worry.

The rest of the day consisted of you dwelling in your own thoughts, ignoring the calls of your friends and teammates. Skipping practice, you went straight home and sprawled out on your bed. Picking up your nearby volleyball, spreading your fingers into a setting position, you began gently tossing the ball up and down with hundreds of thoughts beginning to cloud your brain. Ikuya was never one to hide his annoyance, you knew that. But maybe you did talk too much, and maybe some of your friendships were forced. Were you trying too hard? Were people, unlike Ikuya, hiding their annoyance? Your insecurities that you thought you had left long behind, came flooding back. You shut your eyes tightly, thinking that would make the thoughts go away, as you drifted off into a deep sleep.

You woke up to the sound of your alarm pounding at your head, and made your way to the bathroom. Leaning over the sink, you took a good look at yourself in the mirror. The thoughts of last night still swirling in your head, making it feel like it was going to explode. Suddenly you felt something rise at the back of your throat, as you scrambled towards the the toilet and let it all out. The throbbing sensation on your right side became more prominent, the lights around you making it worse.

A couple of hours later, you thought you had heard your phone ring. Quite a few times actually. Great to know people care about me, you thought sarcastically. You decided to stay home with all the lights off and the blinds tightly shut, every movement or thought pulsating your head further. You couldn’t remember exactly when, but you had eventually passed out on the couch, failing to hear the sound of your front door opening.

“(L/n)?....” Ikuya had suspected something was up with you these past couple of days. Although the facade you had built around you might have fooled another, you had been around to constantly bug, not that he really minded deep down, for Ikuya to realize you were acting different.

“(L/n)!” Ikuya panicked, his eyes adjusting to the dark space, to catch a glimpse of a limp silhouette passed out on the couch. He quickly came to your side, checking to make sure you were okay.

H-huh? You slowly began to wake to a hovering dark figure with amber eyes looking over you in concern. Ikuya?

Ikuya quickly backed away, face flushed and glad it was dark, once he had realized you were awake. You however, took a moment to just stare at him, headache or whatever forgotten.

Am I hallucinating? Why is Ikuya here?

“....you weren’t at school and your friends were saying how you weren’t answering any of their calls....you’ve been acting weird for the past couple of days....so I came to check on you...” Even in the dark, you could see the glimmer of his cat-like eyes.

Wait? He noticed?

“I also brought you the notes you all the notes and assignments you missed...your captain was pretty pissed off too...” He moved forward, hesitantly resting his hand on your forehead before moving to his bag to take out his notebook and some other papers. “You don’t feel all that warm...are you sure you’re not just skipping?”

Has he always been this talkative?

He stopped and turned expectantly, waiting for your reply. Before you could even think about opening your mouth, another surge of pain made its way, with you clenching the right side of your head in pain.

“M-migraine...” you managed to barely get out. Instantly, Ikuya was at your side, crouched down, back facing towards you.

“We should probably get you somewhere you can actually relax first.” He kept his pink-tinted face forward, waiting for you to climb onto his back, which you did without complaints. You warily pointed a finger in the direction of your bedroom, as he slowly made his way and rested you gently on the bed, before awkwardly standing off to the side. You pointed with your eyes, still in pain, to the edge of your mattress. After a few minutes of silence, you began to make sense of your situation.

“Why’d you come here Ikuya....?” You propped yourself against your pillows, head hung low to hide the blush creeping up your neck and cheeks.

Ikuya was silent for a bit before whispering ever so slightly, “You were more quiet than usual for the past week....I got worried....”

You were barely able to catch the last part as your eyes widened, before lowering back your gaze. “Shouldn’t you be relieved though? I’m not being annoying or a nuisance to you...”

Ikuya’s head shot up as he suddenly lunged towards you. “I don’t-,” before composing himself, “I don’t think you’re annoying...I actually like when you talk to me...” again, the last part barely above a whisper.

“Ikuya...” Another tinge pain shot up throughout the side of your head, as you let out a small whimper.

“D-do you need some medicine?! Where’s your cabinet?!” You let out a giggle, before it turned into full blown laughter, headache completely forgotten. Ikuya looked at you confused while you wiped the corners of your eyes. There was something about your disheveled, humorous state, that made Ikuya feel a complexity of emotions suddenly stir inside of him. Soon, and he had no idea why, he started to laugh along with you. You paused and took in his image, the feelings in your own heart becoming more evident.

“....here I was thinking you hated my guts...” you murmured softly, shaking your head, but then instantly regretting it. “But, I already took some medicine not too long ago.” You paused again, but this time more seriously. Despite the painful state you were currently in, you still couldn’t ignore the gut feeling in your stomach.

“Ikuya...you are aware right?” Ikuya was now also looking directly at you. “...aware how I feel about you...” He froze, wide-eyed and eyebrows raised. He could no longer deny the growing feeling in his heart either. He blushed and looked away,

“...I feel the same way about you too (f/n)...for a while now...”

He said it softly, but you were just able to catch the last part as your eyes were now bulging out of your sockets. He caught a glimpse of your expression before suddenly backing away, as if he had said something wrong.

“W-what is it! W-why are you looking at me like that.”

“That’s the first....first time you ever called me by my first name...”

And for a while now? Maybe you really were oblivious.

By the look on his face, he had just realized this as well, but crossed his arms anyways, avoiding eye contact.

“It is your name you know...of course I would call you by it...” Your body moved before you had time to process what you were doing, and soon your cool hands met warm, as Ikuya gently sat back down, face now red, but still avoiding your gaze. Just as you were about to say something, a familiar sensation danced it’s way back, as you squeezed your eyes shut, removing your hands from Ikuya’s to clutch onto your head.

“Here lie down...” you obeyed, bracing for the next wave of pain, only to be met with slender fingers running through your locks, massaging in place once they had found their destination. You relaxed under Ikuya’s touch, eyelids becoming heavy.

Ikuya smiled to himself, scooting closer and watching your brows slowly unknit, as you drifted off into a peaceful slumber. ~

[macbetha]

Preview of Homesick Martians and the Mint Field Epiphany, a HiyoIku AU - Chapter 3

Ikuya is undoubtedly shaken the next morning. He probably wouldn’t be able to play it off had Hiyori not been there when Ikuya woke from that nightmare. Having a screaming fit in your crushes arms is quite embarrassing, but Hiyori held him for so long, cooing sweet things against Ikuya’s hair. He isn’t sure what they were in that moment, because it certainly wasn’t just best friends. Or maybe Hiyori is simply that good of a friend, throwing judgement and caution out the window for the sake of letting Ikuya fall back to sleep in a safe embrace. It’s awkward for Ikuya that morning but not Hiyori, and Ikuya wonders what that means. Is he so fragile in Hiyori’s eyes that violent nightmares are expected? Is he really okay with the fact that Ikuya needs someone touching him and whispering at him, doting on him more often than not? Hiyori does the work of packing while Ikuya sips on a cup of syrupy instant coffee. Hiyori keeps looking at him at least twice a minute, checking Ikuya’s gaze and making sure his hands aren’t suddenly shaking. Hiyori finishes with their bags before sitting on the bed right beside Ikuya – Ikuya assumes he’s about to ask something, but he doesn’t. Instead, Ikuya talks. “It’s not the first time it’s happened.” Hiyori’s brows jump as if he wasn’t even thinking about it. “Hmm?” Ikuya swallows and takes another sip of coffee to buy time. “That nightmare. I’ve had it before.” Hiyori blinks. “Oh.” He pats Ikuya’s knee. “It’s no big deal.” It kind of is because Hiyori’s kept his hand on Ikuya’s leg, thumb brushing in comforting sweeps. Hiyori says, “It seemed intense, if you wanna talk about it.” “I don’t, but – thanks.” It’s too weird to speak on. The dream isn’t even truly horrifying; it just feels so real when it’s clear that getting beamed up isn’t possible. Ikuya has already proven that he’s a mess and he doesn’t think explaining things to Hiyori would help his case much. It’s probably not a good time for Ikuya to say that it doesn’t even feel like a nightmare at all. It feels like a memory.  Ikuya’s hand lands on Hiyori’s for a grateful squeeze. Hiyori’s eyes don’t widen, but he stiffens. His gaze is softer when he regards Ikuya next, something close to endeared – or maybe Ikuya just wants to pretend it’s endeared. Ikuya smiles just a bit. “Thanks for not making it weird.” Hiyori’s expression closes off, tenses up, then he’s grinning as wide as he can. “Ah, when have I ever made things weird, Ikuya?” His hand is lax under Ikuya’s fingers, but it’s warm and perfect and Hiyori. Ikuya pulls his hand back before he can do something stupid and Hiyori slips away.

[shadowonaqua]

The Power of Mackerel (Free! Dive to the Future - Episode 9 )

Yo, I’m back! So I know the title of this post may seem odd, but I have a reason for this! Before we jump in, however...We have some new people to meet! Let’s go! Time for my rambling all of my inner thoughts on the latest piece of the story.

(A little note, however. There is more in this episode with Asahi, Ikuya, Hiyori, and Makoto (Makoto’s sweetness is amplified at least a million times here. If he doesn’t become the #1 choice for imaginary husband for y’all, I don’t know who else can), but what I’m about to touch on is content that made even a transition episode such as this one that much more powerful for me.)

(Also, I’m in love with the image below. My heart cried in happiness.)

Now I’m ready.

So at the start of the episode, we finally get to meet two unknown characters who showed up in the intro song to every episode and whose identities we did not know at all until today. But, the first character gave me some heartwarming feels (and brought back some comical nostalgia too).

Meet the newest Mikoshiba member, Isuzu Mikoshiba!

She is not only a female swimmer, but also a passionate gamer and a leader. I did not see this coming, but I am glad that they placed a seemingly strong-willed female character into the series. After seeing her, I wish that they introduced her earlier in the series (especially because she is the first female swimmer that we have been personally introduced to during the entire franchise), but I am excited to see just how good she is. Plus, she noticed Haru’s triceps as well! Perhaps... she’ll be Gou’s new best friend? I won’t be surprised if that happens... After all, both of her brothers like the young lady!

(And Haru’s imagining all three Mikoshiba siblings laughing in their usual Mikoshiba manner... I feel you, Haru).

I do look forward to seeing what role she plays in the rest of this season, especially because we do not really see her do much aside from ask Haru whether he can compete with her (and I bet Isuzu and Momo bond over their older brother locking them with his arm and most (probably) putting them through a hell-of-a swimming training, haha).

However, the first time we meet Isuzu is also the first time we meet this super blonde, purple-eyed tall guy: Albert Wahlander.

This gigantic foreigner creams Isuzu in gaming, which at first didn’t leave much of an impact on me until he is in the water. On that topic, during this entire episode, I loved that there were multiple clues floating around that suggested his prowess. Some were explained to us through the other characters in the series, and others seemed more symbolic. So, let’s list the ones that weren’t blatantly mentioned by the rest of the cast, because why not?

1) He goes for mackerel as his meal.

Alright, so now you see where my title came from, eh? Well, Haru, being the now smiley version of himself, helps out a lost Albert when it comes to ordering food. More specifically, mackerel, since the tall guy seems to want to eat it. And, this new character is so darn cute with his usage of chopsticks that I was wondering for a moment what his role was in the episode/series. But, back to this topic at hand, he and Haru begin to form a bond through their both eating mackerel (despite their massive language barrier, which really wasn’t a barrier since they oddly understood each other. This made me smile, so much.)

2) He is good with his hands.

He not only uses his finger dexterity to beat Isuzu in gaming, but also learns how to handle chopsticks in seconds after first not knowing how to pick things up with them. And Haru, being the sweet boy/young man he is, goes to get a spoon and fork for the guy, but then is amazed that the tall, blonde foreigner dude would master chopsticks in one go? This makes me think back to when Haru was carving a massive amount of Iwatobi-chans in high school, haha.

3) He floats around in the water like Haru does, but he is ahead of Haru.

So this is where things became interesting for me. During the episode, we find out that Haru is one of three Hidaka University Swim Team members to enter the strengthening camp in preparation for the All-Japan Meet (in addition to the older Mikoshiba and Isana Kiryuu). In the middle of swimming, Haru sees Albert swimming next to him, and then we flash to the two of them floating underwater like Haru did for the last three seasons.

But, Albert is ahead of Haru the entire time.

Why does this mean anything? For the entire franchise, we have never seen anyone swim ahead of Haru. This makes sense, because Haru was known for his affinity and love for the water, unclouded from the influences of competitions, friendly rivalries, and societal expectations. More commonly, we saw Haru’s friends follow behind and try their darnedest to reach his level. Haru is the hero that his friends needed during troublesome, lonesome, and confusing times, and Haru is also a source of strength for young men like Rin, Ikuya, and Makoto to strive for their goals. To do this, Haru has to be ahead of them in the water.

Now that we see this difference with Albert’s appearance, even if you haven’t watched the episode and read this post first instead, you may be able to infer what happens when Albert, Haru, and other swimmers at the camp have a friendly 200m freestyle race against each other.

And this is where our latest cliffhanger begins.

We don’t know how Haru reacts to this loss, as it is the first time that someone out swam him by so many bodies that I won’t even try to count. I mean, the guy was out of the water by the time Haru reached the wall . Knowing Haru, he might react in one of two ways. 

One, he may be devastated. After all, freestyle is his forte, and for his entire life he has been known as a prodigy in this specific stroke. It is okay if Haru lost the IM in the last episode; after all, he does not regularly compete in backstroke, breaststroke, or butterfly, and Ikuya has more experience in this specific event than Haru does anyway. But, when it comes to freestyle, the only characters we have seen who are on-par with Haru are Rin, Ikuya, and maybe Asahi, but nobody has surpassed Haru to this degree. As such, no wonder everyone in the pool is shocked by this revelation, including Makoto, who ran in just as this scene unfolded. Losing to this extent for the first time his life can be upsetting and frustrating at the same time, and I wonder whether Haru will express such a natural human response.

Two, if Haru is as positive as Asahi is, then Haru may see Albert as someone to look up to and strive for. Although this is less likely, purely because the human psyche does not always work this way, I sincerely hope that this is the way he reacts to his loss. For all of Haru’s life, he has had companions, rivals, and supporters who have been by his side, but never has he had someone to directly look up to. In particular with swimming, Haru has been in his own world this entire time. Why? He is the only one of his friends who has an innately keen relationship with water, and it is Haru’s affinity with water that Albert picks up on immediately after swimming/floating together. 

Haru has never had anyone float so freely with him in the water until now (we could potentially count the pool scene with Makoto in the High Speed! movie, but that was part of their reconciliation. This scene, however, is purely one of connection). Also, the fact that Albert sees swimming as fun is refreshing and an epiphany, both for Haru and for us as viewers. It not only implies that Albert may have just as strong as an affinity with water as Haru does, but also that Albert’s love for water may surpass that of Haru. Should this be the case, then Haru may be forced once again to confront his own beliefs with regards to his love for swimming, his skills, and his ability to swim on the global stage.

I wish the best for Haru. After all, Ryuuji (who we find out is an Iwatobi High School Swim Team alum, thanks to Gou’s amazing muscle-identifying skills) has mentioned before the Haru still a ways to go with regards to improving, and Albert may be the key to unlocking that potential. Plus, Albert honestly seems like a nice person, so I hope that he and Haru can get along. The fact that Haru still has that much room for growth, maturity, and progression, both literally in his swimming and figuratively in his own life, is what truly kept my attention with the latest episode of “Free!” and is allowing me look past some of the other flaws with this season. And, I hope that this tidbit is enough to keep you guys interested in the series and in the boys’ story as well.

(Albert, despite his size, reminds me of a little boy. Perhaps his personality truly is that of one, since he seems to be drawn to old arcade games and finds everything fun. He even whines like a boy when the waitress rips the meal ticket >.<, which is just so endearing and makes me want to hug him)

So, now that this ramble has finished, I’ll add these cute little GIFs because I internally squeal whenever I see a baby, and my heart beats faster every time I see a man playing with one:

(And Nitori... way to give us a total plot-twister this episode! Rin was thrown for a shock there, I’m sure.)

(I can’t wait for the next episode! But honestly, the event I’m looking forward to the most is the 100m free at the All-Japan Meet since it’s going to have so many of the characters we love in it. Anyone else with me on this one?)

[skania]

On Haru (S2 + Episode 10)

I usually love trying to read Haru (it’s honestly my favorite sport in Free!), but this season he’s just been so soulless. Like he smiles and engages others and is more assertive and all (and I’m very proud of him for this), but it’s like he’s just going through the motions.

Gone are the careful zoom ins on his eyes and in the most minute change of his expressions. Or all the subtle ways in which Utsumi brought him to life.

While Utsumi got her show-and-don’t-tell down pretty well, this director is more about telling and not showing. And since Haru hasn’t said what’s going on with him, it all just feels pretty empty IMO.

My best guess about his current behavior is that Haru just... doesn’t get what people see in him and is honest to God fearing he’s just not all that special / plus not finding the competitive world all that rewarding just yet.

Warning: the post is image-heavy!

In the first episode, we saw Haru worrying about eventually having to become "ordinary”. Aka, about no longer being regarded as a prodigy or even as someone exceptionally talented. He also wondered just for how long would the water welcome him the way she always has, which is another subject that got brought up this episode.

Then, in Episode 7, when asked whether his dream was to swim at the global level, Haru didn’t know what to reply.

He perfectly explained how he got where he is now, but obviously had zero idea where he wants to go or just how far he can go.

What’s more, when he imagined the light that represents the future and a dream/goal ahead of him, he… closed his eyes. He was blinded by it and couldn’t stare right at it.

Which is another thing we have already seen before when Haru felt lost and wanted to follow Rin into the World Stage but felt like he didn’t deserve it because he didn’t feel as strong about it as Rin did.

On the other hand, Ikuya, Hiyori and their drama made Haru question one of the only things he knows for certain: that swimming with and for the team is a good thing. With their drama bs they effectively made Haru wonder whether he should even be allowed to swim with his friends at all.

And it’s worth noticing that Haru has not swam with nakama at all throughout the entire season aside from that race that was all about Ikuya and nothing about Haru. I think this is one of the reasons why he looked so lost in the first episode when he looked at his side and instead of finding Rin he found... no one.

But he already looked pretty sad at the start of the episode, when he had the entire pool for himself.

Haru is someone who gets fired up by two things: people (until now, Rin) possibly beating him at being the best in the water and swimming with/for his nakama. Until his race with Albert, Haru literally had none of those things. So I think he was finding it all to be kind of empty, even if he was driven to succeed.

Then in Episode 08, Ikuya says that Haru is like a hero. That people look up to him.

And Haru, who is lost as hell about what he wants to do with his own swimming, doesn’t get at all where Ikuya’s coming from. What could Ikuya possibly see in him? Why does Ikuya say that Haru has been helpful to him in any way?

And lastly, the straw that broke the camel’s back: Albert. Haru raced Albert and met a beast who’s way faster than he is.

But before racing him, Haru wasn't particularly driven to win. Albert wasn't his rival and there was nothing on the line. Haru just swam because it's what he had to do.

So I think that after all this crap, Haru wonders just how far he can actually go. Does he actually have what it takes to swim in this competitive world? Why do so many have expectations of him and look up to him when as far as he’s concerned, he’s not as special as people think he is?

And of course, then comes Rin. Who tells Haru that the one constant in his life is that he still wants to swim with him. 

And Haru, who sees Rin like this shining being who belongs in the competitive world,

most likely just feels even more pressured because can he actually give Rin what he wants and keep swimming with him? And would swimming with him even be good for Rin? And why does Rin even want to swim with him when they’re surrounded by people who are more talented than he is?

So basically I think Haru’s pretty much boiling under the surface like the opening suggests but it’s all just veeeery badly portrayed.

This season should’ve been about Haru coming to reassert his decision of “coming into that world of wins and losses” and finding meaning in it.

About Haru actually getting fired up by swimmers other than Rin, because even if they'll always be THAT person and rival to one another, Haru needs to actually feel that there are other people out there who he wants to beat.

But it all got side-tracked by (so far) irrelevant Little Mermaid drama that only held Haru back instead of pushing him further. And it’s getting even more held-back because Haru’s character is simply not being done justice to. And at the end of the day this will all get solved with a magical relay like always lol

But oh well, this is all just my wild guess. I honestly don’t know for sure because I can’t read this Haru lol

[who-i-swim-for]

I’m Here To Talk About the Moms

In Free!, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, there are a lot of friendship duos (Makoto and Haru, Sosuke and Rin, etc.). And in every friendship duo, there will undoubtedly be a character who plays the “mom” role and a character who plays the “rambunctious and troubled child.” Now, sometimes, these roles can be temporarily switched, or maybe the child from one duo could be the mom to the child from another duo. However, usually, there is a hard lined mother and baby boi. I’m gonna talk about them today because I feel like it, and it’s a recurring thing within the Free! franchise as the character count grows larger. There will be spoilers in here, so beware. 

Haru and Makoto

So, Makoto is sort of everyone’s mom, right? He fits the role of “mom” more than anyone. However, obviously, Makoto’s first and most troublesome child is Haru. I don’t really think I need to explain this too much since the entire anime is basically centered around these two (at least when it isn’t centered around Rin and Haru). Makoto used to bring him food, he makes sure Haru is on time to school and that he’s dressed properly, he lectures Haru on polite speech, he helps him study, he can make Haru understand things that other’s can’t, he gives things up so Haru can have them, there’s no end to the list. Makoto is also extremely caring and understanding toward Haru’s seemingly cold personality. He knows Haru better than anyone else and uses that knowledge to guide him every day of his life.

There are rare cases where the roles are reversed for these two. For example, when Haru and Makoto first met and played together, Haru helped Makoto after he fell down and started crying. Also, Haru is quick to defend and protect Makoto if he thinks someone is pushing Makoto the wrong way (which can be seen when Rei asks Makoto about his fear of the ocean). Other than that, Makoto has asked Haru to help him learn to cook, Haru has taken the initiative to save Makoto when he was drowning, and Makoto will hide behind Haru if he’s scared.

I’d say 95% of the time, though, Makoto is in full on mom-mode. Poor him. Like, no offense, but Haru is a tricky one to watch over. Makoto’s doing a stellar job.

Nagisa and Rei

This is another obvious one. Rei is clearly the mom, and Nagisa has been known to exasperate him to no end. At the beginning of Eternal Summer, Rei scolds Nagisa for eating too much, and that pretty much sums up their relationship perfectly. “Nagisa, don’t run by the pool!” “Nagisa, don’t talk with your mouth full!” “Nagisa, pay attention in class!” Basically, that’s what it is. 

Rei doesn’t “mom out” all the time because mostly he can talk to Nagisa normally without fretting over him. However, I also can’t say that I’ve seen the roles reversed between these two before. Nagisa does encourage Rei quite a bit, which could be an example, but for the most part, it’s just Rei trying to get control of the firecracker that is Nagisa. R.I.P. his sanity. 

Sosuke and Rin

These two are kind of a special case, in my opinion, and I’ll get to why in a moment. Rin, as a child and as an adult, is very sensitive. So, it isn’t hard to imagine Sosuke mothering him a bit. In fact, you don’t need to imagine, because you can see it all over the place. When he beat Rin at butterfly when they were in grade school, Rin cried, and Sosuke instantly went into mom-mode. Actually, that happens anytime Rin cries. Sosuke just feels the need to protect him, and he often has a soft smile on his face when he does it. Like a “look at this precious baby bird” face. He and Rin have rock-paper-scissor contents for everything, all the time, and when Sosuke loses, he’s only sad for a moment before being happy that Rin is happy. When Rin was talking about Haru, Sosuke, despite not liking Haru in the slightest, said something along the lines of, “You have the best face on when you talk about him.” He’s generally pretty selfless when it comes to Rin, which is adorable. He also fights for Rin’s success and will throw down with anyone who gets in the way of that (please see his confrontation with Haru as evidence). 

The reason I think these two are sort of a special case is because Rin tries really hard to mother Sosuke. I think, to a certain extent, he succeeds at that, though I’m not sure Sosuke would see it that way. I probably see it because Rin was the captain at Samezuka, so he tried to be a leader for everyone, including Sosuke. For example, when Rin was starting to catch onto Sosuke about his shoulder, Rin was very stern and persistent in getting Sosuke to tell him what was wrong. Maybe Rin’s more like a dad, I don’t know. Either way, he tries.

I do still think that Sosuke coddles Rin more than Rin coddles Sosuke. That’s fine, though. There’s always gotta be a mom.

Ikuya and Hiyori

These two remind me of Makoto and Haru the most. Probably because Ikuya and Haru’s personalities are quite similar, at least in the beginning of Starting Days and again in Dive to the Future. I kind of describe every pair by using Makoto and Haru as the base example. So, Hiyori is the Makoto to Ikuya’s Haru. Basically, most of the things I listed up above for Haru and Makoto will hold true for Ikuya and Hiyori. I don’t think Ikuya readily accepts the support from Hiyori in the same way the Haru does, though. He may now that he’s come back to himself and he’s reconciled with Hiyori, but who knows? 

This is another set that I don’t think I’ve the roles reversed for. At least, not yet. There may be a plot change in the future that will see Ikuya supporting Hiyori. For now, though, Hiyori is the mom.

Nao and Natsuya

These guys are pretty independent, actually, so they might be similar to Rin and Sosuke. Nao is sort of like Makoto in that he’s almost like everyone’s mom. In middle school, that was the role he played for Haru, Asahi, Ikuya, and Makoto. He also served in that role for Natsuya. From what we’ve seen of their relationship, it seems like Nao knows Natsuya extremely well and might be the only one the Natsuya really trusts. Not only is Nao Natsuya’s sounding board, he’s also quite good at taming Natsuya’s boisterous attitude.

Natsuya doesn’t seem to have ever been a mom to Nao, but he also doesn’t really fit into the “child” role. Whatever it is, these two have a pretty solid relationship. 

Other Pairs

There are other pairs of characters that aren’t as strictly confined to these roles as the rest. Either the two people equally share the role, or the two people aren’t as much of a “mom/child” pair as some of the others.

Makoto/Nao and Literally Anyone Else

Like I said, these two are pretty close in terms of protectiveness and coddling. Nao doesn’t have as many baby birds to look out for anymore, but he’s still a good support system for Makoto and the kids he used to coach. Makoto, of course, had Nagisa and Rei that he looked out for in high school and even now as well as the kids he coached. Not to mention his brother and sister. They’re both super moms, and it’s awesome. 

Rin and Haru

These two went through two storylines where each of them got the play the mom. First, Haru saved Rin in the first season. Then, Rin saved Haru in the second. They’re pretty equally matched, but the both have their moments.

Haru and Iwatobi

Haruka-senpai was a pretty good senpai. He’s very good with Rei as far as teaching him and supporting him. And Haru humors Nagisa all the time by letting Nagisa hang on him all the time and letting Nagisa call him Haru-chan. Much like Haru does with Makoto’s brother and sister, Haru basically lets Nagisa do whatever he wants because Nagisa is a pure little bean. 

No Mom For You

Not every character has a mom because not every character can be considered to be in a pair.

Asahi and Kisumi 

The main two I’m talking about are Asahi and Kisumi. I guess since they hung out a lot in middle school, they could be considered a pair, but even then, I don’t think one of them takes the “mom” role over the other. If I had to choose, I’d say Kisumi simply because Asahi was more immature than Kisumi. Really, though, neither of them fit either role. For the sake of completion, I’ll give it to Kisumi. Just because I’m OCD.

Okay, I feel like this post was boring, but I wanted to write it anyway. I think I’m gonna post about ships next, just so I can talk more about the pairs in Free!  I’ll probably end up talking about every ship involving the main characters as well as some other stuff. Let me know if you’d like to see me talk about anything, and feel free to send me some asks! Thanks for reading!

[sachi-pon]

free! dive to the future episode 8 liveblog/review thing

the new episode is finally here!!!! i waited a week to see this haru/ikuya race. ;___; but i also want to see ikuya and hiyori make up. <3 idk if that'll actually happen in this episode. ^__^U

[note after writing this whole post: i wrote a whole lot this time!!! this is a loooooong post. this is like episode 6, where i also wrote a lot. wow, i am so talkative when it comes to these episodes, haha. if you are willing to read this entire post... THANK YOU!!!!!!! =) ]

my previous liveblogs: (episode 1) (episode 2) (episode 3) (episode 4) (episode 5) (episode 6) (episode 7)

watch this episode on crunchyroll!! http://www.crunchyroll.com/free-iwatobi-swim-club/episode-8-metamorphosis-of-the-soul-775639

***

okay, here's hiyori now...

wait why is mako there???

omg, look what just happened. hiyori instantly went into "pretend to be happy" mode. but that's so sad.

sweetie makoto trying to give helpful advice ^__^

mako is watching hiyori start to have a breakdown and he's like "uuuuhhhhhhh this is getting weird"

um, idk if hiyori is interested in hearing more about how great haru is. that'll probably make him mad. ^__^

mako was smart enough to end that convo quickly!!!

let's go haru!!!!!!! you have to win!!!!! ^___^ why am i nervous to watch a swimming race between fictional characters??

haru has magical powers. when he swims, beautiful music starts playing. XD

"can someone really be this free?" YES, IT'S THE TITLE OF THE SHOW.

"all along, i was afraid of ending up alone again. i thought everyone would end up leaving me." awwwwww my heart hurts.

ikuya is having this amazing epiphany just by swimming next to haru XD

"HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH" ikuya's battle cry??

wow!! asahi noticed immediately!!!! o__o

mako and asahi cheering for both of them is so nice and wonderful. they want ikuya and haru to be friends, and that's more important than either one of them winning. (but i still hope haru wins lol)

AWWW HARU KINDA SMILED A BIT!!

haru didn't win??? ;__; but asahi is happy. lol, haru should dramatically pop his head out of the water and say "I LOST!!!!!" like mako did last season.

i just want to say that this whole scene with the race and ikuya's epiphany was done beautifully!!!!! it looked beautiful, it sounded beautiful, it was written beautifully. (rei would approved)

haru finally kept his promise! he really does care. what a sweetheart <3333

NO STOP I CAN'T HANDLE IKUYA CRYING. noooo don't cry don't cry... okay he's crying.

OMG THEY ARE HUGGING. THEY ARE ACTUALLY HUGGING RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES. I CANNOT WATCH THIS, I WILL DIE, this is just too heartwarming. (i have this weird thing about guys hugging each other. it's just too cute)

haru's surprised face when ikuya hugged him hahahaha

so if everything's cool now between haru and ikuya, well isn't that this season's whole plot? hmm oh yeah, there's hiyori. is he happy that ikuya and haru are friends now? because logically, he should feel happy that ikuya is finally feeling better. but i'm sure he's frustrated because... haru.

just seeing ikuya finally smiling and being cute and happy is so precious to me <3333

"it was---" *interruption happens* what was it??????? ugh

i love how haru just immediately answers makoto's question like it's no big deal, lol.

ikuya's embarrassed face is priceless. XD

he wants to become like haru??? let me guess: haru is going to say that ikuya should be himself.

haru is so confused hahahaha

"you might be someone's hero already, ikuya." hmmmmm, who could it be???????

haru didn't say what i guessed he would say. oops lol

as soon as i saw asahi's line appear in the subtitles, i immediately paused and thought, "there, that's going to be the picture for this post." XD i love that line!!

once again, the music is really nice!!! ^__^

haru, of course you're ikuya's hero. you not only literally saved him (when he almost drowned), but you just helped him have his magical swimming epiphany.

awww makoto you are the best <3333 somehow makoto always knows the right thing to say.

hiyori turned around so slowly and dramatically.

hiyori is doing the "pretending to be happy" thing again, which isn't a good sign.

hiyori's like "you love nanase and not meeeeeee *sob* *cry* *wail* "

i love how ikuya's like "i want to swim relays" and then the captain comes up to him and says "hey guess what, i'm giving you a chance to swim in a relay." why can't my life be like that?

see hiyori, ikuya loves you =) <33333

the subtitles said "swim with me, hiyori," but i think that was a mistranslation and the proper translation is "marry me, hiyori."

omg i missed you iwatobi people ;__;

lol, rei and nagisa are stunned because haru (supposedly) only swims free!!!! they cannot comprehend the concept of haru swimming other things. actually, i can't comprehend it either, even though it just happened. XD

gou is like a mother thinking "how did i get stuck with these two crazy twins..."

chappy-senpai???????????????????????????? lol

let's show 100 screenshots of the audience before starting this race.

bazooka? that's the toughest, most intimidating-sounding name you could come up with???

ikuya teasing asahi like they are longtime friends who have never had any trouble in their friendship. awww.

"i don't need you to tell me. i do trust him." awww again. it was kind of a snarky line, but it was still so sweet.

swimming with haru? it's epiphany time!!!

"HIYORRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

hiyori looks cute without glasses. (well actually, he also looks cute with glasses)

yay!!! i was going to be so upset if haru didn't win that. XD

an ominous shadow appears...

WHAAAAAT. WHY ARE THEY DOING THE MAKOHARU THING. don't they know that makoharu has trademarked that?!?!?! XDDDD lol no really, that is too cute.

ikuya remembering the friendship moment from the past is so important! it's a reminder to him of how much friendship he has with hiyori.

haru looks at makoharu copycats hiyori and ikuya and nods in approval. lol

this is such a happy episode so far!!! =) =) =) it must be the end... oh... no, there's still some more left. but, but, i don't want anything bad to happen!!! can we just have a happy episode for the rest of the episode?? and the rest of the season???? no more drama!!! (yeah, like that's gonna happen.)

ugggghhh that moment where hiyori and ikuya both smiled shyly at the same time. please just stab me in the heart. it would hurt less. (i need a gif of this moment immediately!!)

"we'll just have to look forward to seeing what [haru] transforms into." if you've read my previous liveblogs, you know that i'm about to make a joke about haru transforming into a merman. so here you go: haru is going to transform into a merman. hahahahaha

ikuya telling hiyori how beautiful his smile was. this show is trying to totally destroy me.

hiyori telling ikuya that ikuya's smile was his salvation. this show is trying to totally destroy me AND IT'S WORKING.

see, ikuya???? you are a hero <333

oh yeah, the brothers haven't reunited yet!! finally, it happens.

shoutout to whomever it was who painted that cloud in the background. you're a great artist! ^____^

okay seriously. why is this episode so happy??!?!?! i am getting suspicious!! this is a season finale level of happiness. and it's not the season finale. something strange is going on.

natsuya is crying?? once again... i am saying "awwwww."

"i'm sorry for leaving you to look after ikuya." YES!!!! i am so glad that he acknowledged that!!! i mean, i know that he was sincerely trying to help ikuya, but he unintentially put pressure on hiyori, and that added additional strain on hiyori and ikuya's relationship.

aaaaand the scene ends. i am so scared right now. i kinda just want to stop watching the episode right here. it's a good stopping point!! but *sigh* i must continue...

a wild very realistic waterbottle appears.

hiyori makes a new friend ^__^

and here's a scene with haru, mako, and the others. i am sitting here trying to predict what bad thing is about to happen, but i can't think of anything.

haru smiles a bit!! i remember way back when haru used to be that character who never smiles. (mostly back in season 1) so i like that he is smiling more these days.

oh wait... that's the end? i thought there was a bit more time left in this episode. i guess i just estimated the time wrong.

interval. interval. interval. interval.

so that was the preview. wait... there seems like too much time left for just the ending song. *skips to the end of the song* THERE'S ANOTHER SCENE AFTERWARD. i didn't estimate the time wrong after all!!

who is this mystery person with the hat over his eyes? just kidding, i know it's rin.

soooo is rin the bad thing i've been dreading?? XD uhhh well, i don't know what bad thing he would do though. but he will certainly make things interesting. can't wait for next week!!!

ummmm well i just feel kinda tired after that episode. that was a lot to write and a lot to think about!!!! it's just hard to explain how much this show emotionally destroys me. they really did it this time. ouch!!! >__<U yes, i am saying "ouch" even though i'm happy!!! it's just so overwhelming and heartwarming!! <3333 i expected haru and ikuya to get over their conflict in this episode, but i didn't expect ikuya and hiyori to get over THEIR conflict within this same episode! i thought it would be like one or two episodes after this. but no, all the happiness and wonderfulness was stuffed into this one episode. =) i love these writers. they really know what they're doing. since it's the third season of free!, they have become used to the consistent writing style of free!, and by that, i mean that the writers show that swimming means so much more to these characters than just the physical act of moving through the water. it's a symbol of friendship. we (the viewers) know this because we're used to watching free!, and the writers are used to writing free! and they are used to writing about how swimming is a symbol of friendship. haru really does have superpowers!!! he makes everyone have epiphanies just by swimming next to him!! i am so proud of my lovely angel, haru!!!! but... does he have room to "improve?" i wonder what that meant.? ..idk.

i said in one of my previous liveblogs that i kinda wanted to ship hiyori and ikuya, but something was off about their relationship. i had been hoping that they would be able to solve that problem, and then i would be able to ship them. well, it happened. their relationship is no longer "off." now, they're on the same page. they're on the same wavelength. they're literally in the same swimming lane. ^__^ the point is, i saw how closely they connected in this episode, and it was like the connection they had a long time ago. it was so great to see this connection, and now... i ship them!!!!! =D seriously, i do. they are super, super cute. now i want to see fanart, fanfics, comics, you know. i loved the part when ikuya asked for hiyori to be included in the relay, right at the exact moment that hiyori was thinking that ikuya had completely chosen haru over him. hiyori was really, really touched by the fact that ikuya specifically cared about HIM!!! ^__^ but the part that absolutely killed me was their romantic conversation overlooking the pool. they were talking about how much each other's smiles meant to them ever since that long time ago... and clearly, those smiles still have the same importance today... it was just... i don't know what to say. ;___; i don't know what to say about that part except that it was one of the highlights of this entire series (all three seasons) for me.

the next four episodes are going to be a bit strange since it seems like this episode was a good stopping point that wrapped up some major plotlines. it's exciting to see what'll happen in the next four episodes. i don't really know. except... there's sousuke and his injury, so that plotline hasn't ended. and rin's going to do... something. and the iwatobi people are going to do their thing. and of course, haru is going to keep swimming, makoto will keep being perfect, asahi will keep being funny, and hiyori and ikuya will keep being in love. it's going to be a fun rest of the season! =)

[sachi-pon]

free! dive to the future episode 6 liveblog/review thing

HEEEYYYY WHAT'S THIS?!?! I ACTUALLY DID MY LIVEBLOG ON TIME?!?!? yes, i actually did it!! i squeezed this into my schedule. also, i wrote a lot this time for my thoughts after the end of the episode. i wrote an essay!! so, um, please read??? well, i really want someone to read it!! ;__; i kept rambling because i was imagining myself lying down on a couch talking to a psychiatrist about all of my complicated emotional issues THAT WERE CAUSED BY THIS EPISODE. o__O *eyes twitch*

my previous liveblogs:  (episode 1) (episode 2) (episode 3) (episode 4) (episode 5)

see this episode here!! http://www.crunchyroll.com/free-iwatobi-swim-club/episode-6-the-mermaid-of-the-abyss-775637

***

the first thing i see is a VERY REALISTIC image of a telephone pole. o__o what do you mean it's not a photo?!?!?!?

wow, that girl is impatient. XD

he has been making that sandcastle the whole day and all he can come up with is just a big lump??? maybe if you had better sandcastle-making skills, other kids would want to be friends with you.

he read "the little mermaid" for a reason... is he reading about himself?!?!? he's a merman????

awwwww ikuya is precious ;__;

THAT YODEL!!!!! MY GOODNESS!!!! IT WAS PERFECT!!!! he needs to make an album immediately!!! XDDDDD

"haru really is gone." well i'm sorry he didn't follow you to america to continue his lifeguard career???? lol

i feel like ikuya's constant thinking "i need to be stronger" and "i can't become weak" is actually making him weaker somehow. o__o

"what can i do for him???" you have to stop and realize that you can't fix everything, hiyori.

i love how he clearly heard ikuya speak japanese and he responded in english! kawaii desu!! XD

"we've met somewhere before, huh?" wait, you guys forgot about it?? -__-

abrupt scene change... o__O

"there is one book i like." HMM, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS.

yes, ikuya, it's girly. just admit it. XD

"what can i do for ikuya?" i just told you, you can't always fix everything. just because you saved ikuya before, you think you always have to be the one to "save" him from everything? but that's not realistic. you can't control everything, so you shouldn't feel like it's always your job to save ikuya.

...aaand i'm talking to a fictional character. moving on!!

HOW ARE THEY JUST HAPPENING TO ALSO READ THE LITTLE MERMAID TOO?!?!?!? i guess everyone in this area has a little mermaid obsession. okay, now i seriously want to go watch the little mermaid movie. that was not a joke. i actually feel like i want to watch it sooner or later. free! gave me the idea!!! <3

HOW IS THAT MOM JUST HAPPENING TO DESCRIBE HIYORI'S SITUATION?!?!?!?!? what the... is she psychic?? i am scared of her now. what other powers does she have?!?!?!

oh man, hiyori now has that classic look where you can't see his eyes through his glasses. that is never a good sign... lol

makoto's swimsuit <333333 i love it so much. when i think about makoto in that swimsuit, i feel like all is right with the world. i can breathe easy. i can go to sleep happy. i know that there is peace and hope in the universe.

MAKOTO'S LITTLE BLUSH!!!! <3 did you see that?!? did you all see that? he is such an angel!!!! ^___^

"what's ikuya up too? have you kept in touch with him?" OH NO, you done went there. you done went and asked the question. you done messed up, my friend.

**** AWKWARD SILENCE ****

makoto is trying to explain everything but it's not working ^__^UUU

"it's my fault." OMGGGG HARUUUUU NOOOO. STOP. NOOOOO. i'm done. i'm dead. his little quiet voice broke my heart. he feels SO guilty about all this!!! i want to give you a hug, my precious baby. <33333

oh now he's telling nao about the "suffering" thing. i thought i was already dead but now i have died again. this show is TOO PAINFUL!!!! .>___<.

"makoto and i haven't suffered at all!!" don't say that!!! the writers of this show will hear you say that and they will try to think of a way to make you guys suffer!!! that's how writers are. writers like to brainstorm ways to make our characters suffer. it's what we do. XD

having watched ikuya throughout this whole season so far, he seems to be feeling worse and worse, to be honest. =(

haha, ikuya is so clueless. um, hiyori is talking about YOU, dude!!!

haru doesn't even want to eat mackerel?!?! WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE IS THE REAL HARU??????

oh it's that shady guy again. i forget about him all the time!!!

*pauses to read all the crunchyroll subtitles for Shady Guy's blog*

haru is COMPLETELY COOL while the shady villain guy talks right into his ear. XDDDD

#cafeteriasoba #hidakauniversity #tanukisoba #sobarules

ryuuji??? he has a name? but i don't want him to have a name. i want him to continue being Shady Evil Villain Guy.

WHO IS HE?????????? now i want to know!!! >=(

i'm pretty sure you made up all those provers but whatever

wait, what?!? wait!!! what just... they are all talking about ryuuji?!?!

"he suddenly quit swimming competitively." why? i bet the reason is something bad...

haru has his excited face on, i see.

"he probably missed your calls because he's busy focusing on the next competition." sure, okay, i believe you... you've been 100% honest all the time, of course!!

hmmmmmm okay i can kinda see one reason why hiyori feels such a strong need to "fix" ikuya. natsuya has assigned that job to him!!

haru's been thinking about why he only swims freestyle... uhhh you're just now thinking about that after how many seasons/episodes??? lol

i love how makoto and haru act like this kid is a genius who just revealed a brilliant scientific discovery

*mysterious person appears* wait who is that???

i knew that wishing star thing would come back eventually. (well, duh)

"even if i sink, no one's going to save me anymore." he's talking about swimming? or... his emotions???

i had a feeling someone would start yelling soon. this scene was too quiet!!

"i couldn't become human." ha!!! that proves it. ikuya isn't human. he is a merman. like i have said before, free! is a fantasy anime <3333

hiyori??? i think that ikuya knows how to come down the slide on his own. it's not that difficult. little kids do it all the time. XD

he's on top of him. WELL THIS IS AWKWARD

that scene with their feet looks so weird o__o

"can you just forget about nanase??? i'm way more attractive than he is, so why don't you love me instead????"

ikuya finally gets aggressive toward hiyori!! i felt like that was going to happen!! but wow o___o you guys. just continue being friends already. ;__;

hiyori!!! you just told him to "forget about nanase." it didn't work the first time so obviously it's not going to work the second time!!

"sorry i just assaulted you. whoops"

omg, i want this episode to be over. it's too sad. ;__; *looks at time* uh-oh. there's time for another scene...

looks like Evil Shady Villain (i don't care what his name is) has evil plans for haru with his evil smile!!! haru... you've got to escape!! get away now!!!

that's all!!! now here are my thoughts: i was very emotionally destroyed by this episode because like i said, i noticed that ikuya kept getting worse and worse (not just his swimming times, but his feelings) and then he got into a fight with hiyori at the end. ;___; ;___; ;___; i'm so upset because hiyori is GENUINELY TRYING TO HELP and it's just not working. you saw the flashbacks where hiyori and ikuya's friendship formed. so you can see that ikuya means a lot to hiyori, which is why i said that hiyori is genuinely trying to help. plus, i pointed out that natsuya wants hiyori to watch over ikuya. so that's something that adds to the pressure on hiyori. so i felt so bad for him when first, he tried to invite ikuya to a cafe and he didn't want to go, and then, he tried to tell ikuya "stop thinking about nanase" and ikuya got mad at him for it!! remember, from hiyori's perspective, haru is just a bad person who's causing trouble. so from that perspective, it makes perfect sense that the solution to ikuya’s problem would be to stop thinking about haru. so i think it was surprising for hiyori that ikuya got mad at him. =( remember how earlier in the season, ikuya tended to be agreeable with hiyori? he went along with most things hiyori said/did. that's what hiyori's used to, and so that's why i think it was surprising for hiyori when ikuya got mad. he thought ikuya would just agree with his suggestions as usual.

ikuya actually has a positive view of haru and he does want to keep thinking about him. he is grateful for haru's rescue of him, and he wants to be "strong like haru." at the same time, he's angry at haru. but his true feelings toward haru are actually positive, which is why he rejected hiyori's advice to stop thinking about him. i don't think either of them are listening to each other. hiyori wants to fix ikuya instead of listening to him, and ikuya feels that doing things alone gives him strength, so he's not interested in trying to be fixed by hiyori or anyone else. he just wants to be "strong" on his own. ...it's not going well.

i loved the part where ikuya was on the slide and hiyori was on top of him. XD it was so dramatic. hmm, maybe i am beginning to ship them??? i don't know though, because they really need to work out their problems first. they're not quite at a point where i'm like "YEEAAAHHH I SHIP THEM, HIYORI x IKUYA 4EVER!!!!!!!" they'd be so cute if they weren't... you know... in a pretty damaged relationship right now. ^__^U actually, it's not just about this fight. even before that, their relationship was "off" to me. (not when they were kids. i'm talking about the present day) something about their friendship wasn't quite right. and so i'm not surprised that they ended up fighting.

...still, i'm hoping that they will soon work everything out and have some heartwarming moments!!! <3333

wait, i'm not done yet. i also want to say that it was so painful to me when haru said "it's my fault." there was something so broken in his voice. i could hear it. i think that every person has had situations in their lives where something that someone said or did bothered them and it continued to bother them for a long time even though it shouldn't have. you know that feeling when you can't stop thinking about something even though that thing keeps weighing you down??? it really shouldn't make you so upset, and you should let it go and not let it get to you, but you just can't stop thinking about it because you're taking it too seriously. what haru is going through right now is so relatable. 

honestly though, asahi and makoto don't seem to fully grasp how deeply this is hurting haru. asahi said that he and makoto swam with haru and were fine, and makoto agreed, but i was thinking, "haru's not going to instantly feel better just because you guys said that." when you're feeling that bad about something, one quick and simple answer isn't going to fully heal you. i expected makoto to understand how hurt haru is right now, but i'm not sure if he does!! (...which is weird.) the good news is that nao seems to have a plan, i guess. i don't have a clue what he's thinking of doing, but i'm sure that haru and the others will get through to ikuya somehow. right? RIGHT???