#and I say this completely derogatorical toward him
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#also the point of ayin depersonalization wasnt said straight in the dialogues but through close inspection of the role A/X#to come to an understanding that even A doesnt know the first thing about himself (we players are him and we dont know shit about him)#the focused of the sephirot flashbacks are on the sephirot and his interpretation about them while he is obviously being obscured#the lack of actual concrete evidence of him as a person but rather through reinterpretation through others#also the fact that manager is ultimately disposable as anything else inside that facility and can be easily replaced via other identities#ayin: i love ego death#ayin:i love believing in the fact that there is something wrong about me on fundamental level to emotionally harm and torture myself for it#and it bleed to how he treat others because when he was being cruel to other he is purposely being cruel to himself#and I say this completely derogatorical toward him#but also the possiblity of A who doesnt suffer from any childhood trauma but suddenly developed this way of thinking#when he is an 30 old ass adult just because would be very funny#also very possible knowing PM
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