#and it bleed to how he treat others because when he was being cruel to other he is purposely being cruel to himself

[lobpoints]

[luveline]

I'd love a wisdom tooth with Hotch; I got mine removed last Saturday and I'm in pain 🥲

You should’ve had your wisdom teeth out years ago, but you couldn’t afford it. When Aaron suggested you get them removed after a particularly embarrassing bout of pain, you’d been honest with him: you still couldn’t afford it. Stuff kept going wrong, your car would break down, or your landlord would hike the rent, and you didn’t have enough saved up to do it without worry. 

So he pays for it. You don’t ask him to, you fight him on it, but he hates seeing you in pain. 

“You’re my hero,” you say, mumbling through gauze. “Generous hero.”

“It’s not generosity,” he says, reaching across the console of the car to catch your hand, “try not to touch your mouth.” 

“I feel dizzy.” 

“I know, honey. Can take some more deep breaths for me?” 

He suspects you’re not only dizzy, but overstimulated. You take a few deep breaths, and then you say, “That’s so nice.” 

“What is?” he asks, regretful as he takes the steering wheel into both hands and turns the car onto the next road. 

You’re his sweetheart, he means that firmly, and he’d do much more than pay for your dental surgery. You’ve been very honest with him about how grateful you are. It’s uncomfortable —you shouldn’t have needed his assistance, how unfair it is that you couldn’t afford it alone— but it’s sweet, too, to see your thankfulness manifesting itself while you aren’t entirely yourself. 

“You calling me honey.” 

“You think it’s old-fashioned.” 

“You’re super old-fashioned.”

“That’s not very nice,” he teases. “I remember when we first met, you were so nice and polite. Now you’re abrasive.” 

“I am not!”

“You’re cruel to me. What should I do about it?” 

“Nothing.” 

Aaron reaches over again to grab your thigh. “Nothing? That’s typical.” He pulls your leg toward him, and he gives the soft inside a squeeze you aren’t expecting. You laugh like a kid being tickled.

“You’re just bullying me while I’m defenceless.” 

“Is that what you are?” he asks, rubbing the length of leg he’d squeezed apologetically. “You can be mean to me for now, then, but when you’re feeling better we’re going to have to have a talk about where my nice girl went.” 

You make a sound that’s half excitement and half panic. “Do you mind?” 

He’s being a little much, sure, but you’d been swaying toward overwhelmed a few minutes ago. He figures some tough love will keep and hold your attention before you can remember the pain. “I don’t mind.” He pats your leg with his fingers, frowning when you shiver. “Are you cold?” he asks worriedly. 

“I’m freezing.” 

Luckily for you, you’re home. Aaron parks the car and gets out swiftly to retrieve you, fonder now that he can see up close. You aren’t as out of it as you’d been to begin with, recognition and light in your eyes as you unbuckle your seatbelt and he offers his hand. “Thanks,” you say, ducking out of the car with a little wobble, “I’m still dizzy, can you–”

“I’ve got you,” he says, hand braced more roughly than he means to at your elbow. 

It’s more of the same inside. You’re unsteady on your feet, he has to grab you to keep you standing, but he gets you into the kitchen at your request. His first port of call is a blanket for you. 

As he wraps it around your shoulders, he’s sure the anaesthesia is entirely worn off. You meet his gaze with an undeniable love. It’s in every line of your face. 

“Thank you,” you say. 

“You know I’m just kidding when I say you aren’t nice.” 

You nod. 

“Because you are,” he says. Looking after you isn’t generosity, it’s self-preservation. He’s found you, sweet and loving as you are, his match in teasing and seriousness alike. He has no intention of treating you with anything other than the utmost care. “Are you warm enough now? It’s a common side effect of sedation, the coldness. Your dizziness, too. It’ll feel better soon.” 

“Can I take this gauze out? I feel silly.” 

“If your gums aren’t bleeding anymore.” 

You haven’t had to spit, so you’ll be alright. Aaron washes his hands, has the honour of removing your gauze and witnessing your odd stitch, which he throws away to wash his hands again. Then he wets a cloth for you to wipe your face. It’s perhaps the uglier side of loving someone and looking after them, but he genuinely couldn’t care less. You’re just as lovely to him as you were yesterday, minus a few troublesome teeth. 

“Your cheek is swelling,” he says, stroking the line of your jaw carefully. 

“Well, you can’t stop liking me now. Then this surgery would be a total waste.” 

He laughs. “What do you mean?” he asks, tipping your chin up. 

“You pay for me to have no toothache and then we break up? It doesn’t make any sense.” 

“It makes zero sense. You’ve invented a scenario where I’d leave you,” he smiles like an idiot, “and that timeline doesn’t exist.” 

You close your eyes. He kisses your nose, weary of your soreness. 

“Timeline,” you mumble. 

“Oh, you have something to say? Let’s hear it.” 

You laugh and push him away. “I don’t have anything to say to you.” 

Unfortunately for you, Aaron has no intentions of being pushed away from you. He leans over to give you a hug and a kiss pressed to your temple, his hand feeling a path against the ridge of your shoulder. “Please tell me if I hurt you, I know your face is sensitive,” he says. 

You settle in his arms. “No, this is nice.” 

He presses another kiss atop the first one. 

[xianyoon]

𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

alhaitham x gn!reader. hurt & comfort, fluff. reader works at the akademiya and is pretty badly treated by most people for some reason. alhaitham reminds you that you are loved by him !!!!! ♡ . reader is inspired by me ( dec 26 bday + peanut allergy + prone to bouts of anxiety ) ノ based off my own interpretation of how alhaitham loves. ノ wc 2.5k.

ask around the bustling hub of sumeru city, and the native dreamers would often describe being loved as something mesmerising and captivating – like a kaleidoscope, twisting and turning enchantingly in hopes that the beads would fall perfectly in place, but it never always truly does – it is endearing and a lesson for the lovers all the same. the messy beads twirl and turn but there is just some reason why they can’t get enough of it.

the thinkers talk about love like an anchor dragging you further and deeper down into the depths of adoration and affection and infatuation; to them, there are often few clear differentiations between sinking into love and drowning in it.

for alhaitham, however – love is natural, like the cycle of growth of the dainty flowers and wild grass beneath his feet. a swanlike, enchanting piece of music that flows from your violin’s bow – with the right person, it is as natural as breathing.

but for alhaitham, however – love is also... unnatural, given his lack of experience. he has adoring fans, he has scholars singing his praises and piles of handwritten letters from secret admirers commending his mind and aesthete – but he has never loved before, not until you.

the first act of love. listening, when nobody else will try to.

alhaitham is a wonderful listener. if you ask him, he’d say that he prefers listening, even – he is content to hear all that you have to say, however nonsensical or ridiculous you sound to others. the scribe’s work is simple, so he never truly minds – to sit quietly with a small smile on his face while you talk his ear off about anything and everything – that is what love is, you are sure.

“hey, i’m sorry.. this is just too much right now.” you know they use this as a replacement for you.

“could you tell me another time?” another time will never come.

“just keep quiet, archons! do you ever shut up?” no, i’m sorry. i probably should.

alhaitham watches from his office as your heart breaks with every unwilling individual, each choosing to walk away while you tore your heart out, still bleeding from your ribcage while laying the offering bare at their feet. how could a human being be so cruel? there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ – yet you believe you cannot make it speak because they do not choose to listen.

“...i believe you hadn’t quite finished your story from the last time we met.” he speaks plainly, eyes glistening – with pity or with eagerness is something you don’t wish to distinguish. let it be the same, lest the heartbreaking realisation that he is just like the others.

“you remember?” you ask cautiously. please do, i can’t bear to beg anyone anymore.

“i do. that day about your old neighbour’s dog escaping into your garden. you’re welcome to continue, if you’d like.”

he watches your eyes light up as you trip and stumble over your words, quietly surprised and eager to please. there is a soft feeling in his chest – a warm, weighing feeling nestled in his ribcage.

the second act of love. remembering, when it feels like no one else does.

it is no secret that alhaitham’s mind is incredible. highly intelligent, closely observant, adept at noticing discrepancies – any researcher would fight to have him take a spot on their team. he is good at remembering, you think to yourself – alhaitham remembers everything – the things you’d grovel at someone’s feet, to remember the slightest thing about you, for, and everything you wished the world forgot. him remembering everything is incredible – whether that be a good thing, or not; is another.

“when’s your birthday again?” your co-worker taps his fingers against his chin, looking through the sheet of office birthdays.

“it’s–”

“december 26th.” alhaitham walks past, not looking up from his notebook.

you and your co-worker stare in silence. he...

“yeah, december 26th...” you catch a glimpse of the silver-haired scribe around the corner. he remembered. even if it was just an offhand comment about how funny you found your birthday to be right after christmas. he remembered.

“huh.” your co-worker shrugs it off, noting it down on the list as if nothing happened.

something happened. you feel something warm blossoming in your chest – warm, comforting, lovely all the same. a tender, sweet feeling like the heavy blanket on a rainy day that attempts to capture your heart in your throat and keep it captive forever; there is so much you want to say to alhaitham. it’s nice that he remembers – out of all your friends ( was he a friend? ), who could confidently say the date without thinking twice?

“i believe those are nuts. if i recall correctly, aren’t you allergic?” the next time you see a glimpse of his silver hair, alhaitham peers into your bowl of noodles. nuts – how comical it is to think that such a small, minuscule digit could potentially cut off breathing for you.

“i thought i told them ... perhaps i didn’t.” you mumble, hurriedly spitting out half-chewed food into your tissue. you stare tiredly into your bowl – surely you remember letting the waiter know that you had an allergy.

“you did.”

before you could even turn your head to reply to his reassurance, alhaitham flags down the same, tired waiter. he trudges to your table, serving tray tucked between his arm and body.

“can i be of service?”

“excuse me, i believe we mentioned earlier that they couldn’t have nuts.” alhaitham stares at him in the eye, glancing briefly at your bowl with spat-out nuts beside it. the waiter grabs it, letting out a soft sigh of frustration.

“you are a service professional, are you not?” alhaitham interrupts the languid movement; yet he does not break the stare.

“sir, i am just a wa–”

“my apologies. are you are a paid member of this establishment?”

“i am.” the waiter nods in quiet submission. it is better to shut up than to argue with a man who loves.

“you understand the laws regarding a customer’s health and safety, do you not? even if it’s tiresome, if they had gone into an anaphylactic shock here in your cafe, i believe it would have been a matter of time before an investigation is launched and a lawsuit is filed.”

you hear alhaitham soften at the word they. they. you. you are important enough to him that he’d quietly, but fiercely rip into the waiter over your allergy. (alhaitham wishes you felt important enough to care about your health instead of apologising for not speaking loud enough.)

the waiter steels himself and takes your bowl back to the kitchen without another word.

“thank you,” you turn to alhaitham. “that meant a lot.”

you show him a soft smile, and alhaitham feels a wave of silent thankfulness wash over himself – that you sit before him, wearing a bright and sweet smile and not a pained grimace from struggling to breathe, on your features. he feels the same warmth in his chest once again.

“you don’t need to thank me.”

alhaitham remembers, even when it feels like no one else does.

the third act of love. holding, when your skin feels achingly colder.

alhaitham does not strike people as a touchy person; his love language is not physical touch. touch scares him a little, even. the thought that a simple loving gesture could be twisted and morphed into a threatening hold scares even the most intelligent and strong of men – but he is human, and that is enough for him to appreciate lingering touches on his back as and when he needs and wants to.

he sees you – fingers twitching and rubbing against each other, clumsily tapping against your palms then scrunching inwards – you need touch. you need to be held. it was as simple and as crucial as breathing. your fingers press in inwards of itself, and he watches the colour recede and return once again as you loosen your grip.

“come here,” alhaitham gestures, wrapping your hand around his. there’s something comforting about how your hand is smaller than his; it’s not that much smaller, but it’s smaller all the same. if you curled yourself up even more, perhaps you’d be able to fit into the palm of his hands.

“don’t do that. you’ll hurt yourself.”

“do what?” you look at him quizzically.

“i wasn’t sure if you were unaware, but you tend to self-soothe and search for touch.” he sighs quietly, absent-mindedly stroking your purlicue as he turned back to his book.

“although i believe you search for it too much. press too hard, and you’ll start to feel numb.”

“ah.” you stare at your hands – the left, which he holds, and the right, resting on the cool table.

“thank you.”

“i said before, there is no need to thank me. if it is a simple matter regarding your well-being, i would do–” he stops himself. anything, is left hanging in silence.

“i would be happy to resolve that matter.”

even holding you? would he dare hold something so shamefully broken?

“thank you...” you close your eyes. he hesitates; just once.

“you don’t sound pleased, nor satisfied. was it something i said?” you hear his voice soften.

no, it’s not you. you shake your head quietly, resting your head against your right palm on the table.

“it’s alright. you do not have to talk if you don’t wish to.” alhaitham replies. you feel him smoothing your hair back – a touch so soft and tender, you can hardly believe it to be for yourself. it was intoxicating; his touch lacked lust, full in love– you have never been loved (loved?) like this before.

you feel slightly warmer now.

the fourth act of love. comforting, when there seems to be no one in your corner.

“i just wanted them to be different. just this once. is that too much to even ask?”

alhaitham holds you tightly as you sob and lament; he holds tighter than he ever has before, and he mourns. he mourns for the walls you had slowly built up over time dawn with the realisation that it had been justified all along; alhaitham knows how hard you have begged for them to be unneeded.

“i know.”

you hiccup, ducking beneath his arm tiredly – and he holds you gently. he holds you, arm resting on the crook of your neck as you rest against a pillow on his side – he holds you like he has done it all his life. fitting yourself – not small but not big – into his frame, alhaitham thinks, may very well be the most natural thing the world has brought him.

“they had no right to treat you like that. i’m sorry.”

“it’s not your fault.” you sniffle.

archon, it hurt. you were going to get hurt in every lifetime, you know that– no, you deserved it. that has been etched into your mind since day one of starting your work. that was just who you were. the poor, miserable corner-sitter who had nothing else to do but correct their own mistakes. no initiative, no ounce of thought. why had the akademiya even hired you if its own people despised you?

“you don’t deserve to be hurt over and over, you know.”

how did he know?

“you said that aloud.”

you mumble a soft sorry, and he replies, shaking his head.

“it isn’t your fault,” alhaitham echoes your previous sentiment, almost teasingly. “i believe you’re smart enough to figure that out.”

before you look up at his tousled hair to reply, you feel a soft kiss pressed to your forehead.

a kiss.

his kiss.

“if you find them still bothering you, come and talk to me. the scribe’s position is – it may not be much – but i know with my place within the akademiya, they will listen. i promise you this,” he holds your warm hands in his broader ones.

“if they do not stop, i will leave. i have no regard for a company that will not protect its own workers.”

he wants to say a company that will not protect you, but thinks otherwise. perhaps it is too much right now after his impulsive kiss –that is the one thing that alhaitham mulls over. he has never been impulsive before; always thinking through and filtering and being rational and all the things that makes alhaitham, alhaitham. being impulsive is not a trait others describe him by. 

so why, you–?

the fifth act of love. loving you, even when you believe people cannot.

–because he loves you, and alhaitham cannot, for the life of him and even with all the overbearing advice from kaveh and more bearable guidance from nahida – he cannot put it into words. for the first time in his life, alhaitham stumbles over himself, words tumbling out like love letters hastily shoved into a sack with a cut into it.

“what is so special about me? you’re always here, alhaitham, yet you never grow sick of me.”

he finds himself caught off guard when you ask suddenly, caught in today’s throes of insecurities. your words hang cautiously on your tongue like a snake waiting for the moment a displeased reaction appears – whether you hiss or hide, is something alhaitham feels a modicum of curiosity about, pulsing, and pulsing, until he tries.

“you-”

there are too many things that he can think of, he feels. nahida, give me strength.

“you are- you are kind. and generous. you have a heart for people even when they do not have one for you.” he starts, slowly. “you listen intently, and you enable people to open and talk. they talk because you listen and you support them with all your soul and it is so evident that you love.”

you want to cry.

“i admit i am not good with words, but you deserve every vow i utter tonight. you love so loudly, and you feel no shame for it – you have inspired me, and i dare confess that there have been many times i have desired to pull back, out of worry that i have felt the distinct possibility that i was about to fall in love with you.”

oh. you blink as if that hasn’t been obvious enough.

alhaitham is deeply and madly in love with you.

“i love you, not only because you are special, but also because i believe you deserve every ounce of love i can retrieve from myself. i know it has been made clear to you that others do not feel the same way, and it hurts to believe that some of it has come from those i know – i promise to be different–”

“you already are, alhaitham.” you feel yourself choke up. love is entangling itself around your trachea and holding you hostage, never letting go.

“you have never treated me with the same contempt. i love you, i know you return my feelings and for that i am thankful. i’m sorry that i’m not an easy person to love, please...” you trail off, feeling his body collide into yours. alhaitham holds you. he holds you, hand on your back and the other cradling your head against his shoulder.

“i want to love you,” he whispers into your hair. “please let me.”

so, about love–

ask alhaitham? you see a soft smile adorns his features as he mulls over the question of what love is to him. love, forever yours, evermore.

[steddieas-shegoes]

Request: Hop & Joyce don't really like or trust Steve & he knows it. He can tell by their behavior towards him. Post spring break from Hell, Steve tears into them both after they insinuate that it's his fault for the kids being hurt. Steve YELLING at them in front of the party bc he is injured more grievously than the kids & he once again protected them, to the detriment of himself.

Joyce & Hop are forced to acknowledge that their behavior was cruel. And they have to apologize but Steve doesn't accept their apology straight away.

I am usually such a sucker for Hopper adopting Steve and treating him as his own that this was really difficult. Like, maybe top 5 most difficult things I have ever written. It's kind of short, but I wanted more of the focus to be on people standing up for Steve and Steve standing up for himself than the actual angsty part. My darling, I hope it lives up to expectations! -Mickala ❤️

------------------------------------------------------------

“I guess I just don’t understand how Max ended up like this if Steve was supposed to be protecting them all.”

Joyce’s words echoed in Steve’s head.

She was whispering to Hopper in the waiting room, but it was surprisingly quiet, and easy to hear just about anything.

The kids were asleep on the couches, waiting for any news on Max or Eddie, but the nurses told them it could be hours. Hours were a long time to wait when someone was bleeding out and the other someone had multiple broken bones and was unconscious.

Steve felt untethered, his connection to the earth cut the moment he saw what happened to Eddie, pushed into a dangerous orbit when he saw what happened to Max.

“He’s never really let me down like this. Did you hear Dustin say he thinks he was distracted by Eddie?” Hopper asked quietly.

“What did he mean by that?” Joyce paused. “Oh. Do you think so?” Steve couldn’t see their faces, couldn’t see the way they were having a silent conversation within a conversation. “It wouldn’t be the first time Steve let his romantic feelings get in the way of their safety.”

And that really wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair because he always put these kids who weren’t even his first whenever he could. It wasn’t fair because it wasn’t his job to be perfect. It wasn’t fair because they were the adults who should have been here to help and they weren’t.

He could feel tears building up, his vision getting just blurry enough that he knew he needed to walk away or he would start actually crying, and he couldn’t let anyone see that.

Especially not Joyce and Hopper.

Apparently, they already thought so little of him, he couldn’t possibly show them that he was struggling now.

“I think we’ll have to have a talk with the kids about trusted adults. They seem to rely on him for a lot and maybe if we just explain to them that Steve can’t handle it-”

“Excuse me, Mr. Hopper?” A nurse, thankfully, interrupted them.

Steve turned to see a young nurse, probably barely older than him, standing in the entranceway to the waiting room.

Hopper walked over to her, actually whispering this time, as if what was being said right now was a secret, but not the way he felt about Steve.

He glanced over at Steve, then nodded to the nurse. He called Joyce over to them, whispered something, then they both looked at Steve.

He hated what was happening. He was used to being a disappointment to adults, but in a silent way. His parents weren’t really ever around long enough to show their disappointment for long. Seeing it now, on the faces of people he respected and wanted to impress, hurt.

Hopper started walking over to him, his face serious.

“They have Max stable. She may not wake up from the coma, but they’re hoping she makes a turn for the better soon. Eddie woke up a few minutes ago while they were trying to stitch him up and he kept yelling for you. He isn’t quite stable yet. He passed back out as they were trying to put him on oxygen.”

“But they’re both alive?”

“For now.”

“Can I see Max?”

“I don’t think that’s a great idea right now. They’re trying to reach her mom, but the phone lines keep going down. I’m standing in as the adult responsible until she can be contacted.”

“So now you want to be the adult responsible? Not any other time when we needed you?” Erica said from behind them.

She’d been asleep with Lucas and El only a minute ago.

“Erica, it’s fine. I’ll just wait with you guys.”

“No, Steve, it’s not fine.” Erica put her hands on her hips, scowled up at Hopper and Joyce, who had just joined them. “Steve looks out for us every day. Even when the world isn’t trying to end. He drives us to school or from school or to the arcade, he pays for our food at the diner all the time, probably spends all his paychecks on us. And where are the parents? They don’t even know where we are most of the time.”

“But-” Joyce started to interrupt until Erica held up her hand.

“You left your kids to fly to Russia when you knew something weird was going on. You could have died, and then what? You know who would have stepped in? Steve. Because that’s what he does for us. Do you know one of his worst concussions was because he was protecting Lucas and Max from Billy? You know he drove Max everywhere she needed to go all year because she didn’t wanna be around anyone else? How about the fact that without him, we wouldn’t have even been able to get Eddie back here? But sure, blame him for this. It totally makes sense to point the finger at the one person who has protected us over and over again.”

Steve was crying.

The other kids were starting to wake up from her voice getting louder as she spoke, and it didn’t take long for them to realize what was happening.

El and Dustin surrounded Steve, cuddling into his sides to comfort him. He needed it, and he was always willing to accept love from the kids. They so rarely gave it, not because they didn’t love him, but because they were at that age where they didn’t want to.

These kids were his in almost every way that mattered, and he was just grateful that they weren’t hesitating when he needed them most.

“You kids could have died. Steve should have never allowed most of this to happen. He’s the adult, and he let you all go into this without even considering you could die.”

“You think we were just gonna sit around and wait for the adults to handle it? When have we ever done that?” Dustin asked incredulously.

“It’s what you should have done. Steve knows that.”

“Mr. Harrington?” A different nurse was standing in the doorway now, older, definitely less nervous.

“Yes?” Steve responded, wiping his tears away quickly.

“Mr. Munson is in a recovery room. He’s woken up a few times for a minute and each time he’s asked for you. Are you family?”

He was pretty certain hospital policy meant only family could go back, especially during natural disasters, so he lied.

“Yes, he’s my cousin. I can’t reach anyone else yet.”

The nurse smiled, though she probably didn’t quite believe him.

“Right this way, then.”

Dustin tugged on his arm.

“Can I come with you?”

“Sorry,” Steve shook his head. “Not yet. Let me check on him, and I’ll come right back out for you.”

“See? This is what I meant about letting his feelings get in the way! What if we weren’t here? Would you just leave the kids to sit out here alone?”

This time, El spoke up.

“Steve is always putting us first. He can put himself first sometimes. That is allowed.”

Steve wanted to hug her again, but the nurse looked like she was going to walk away, and if he didn’t follow her, he wouldn’t see Eddie.

“Go see him, we’ll be here,” Lucas said from next to Erica.

He nodded at them all, giving them a smile before he followed the nurse without looking back at Hopper or Joyce.

Eddie was asleep when they entered the room, so the nurse whispered to him at the door.

“He’s on a lot of morphine, and he’s still receiving a blood transfusion. He may wake up off and on, but he probably won’t make much sense until they lower the dose. Just be here for him,” she smiled before leaving the room.

Steve turned to Eddie and couldn’t hold back more tears.

He’d let him down. He’d let all of them down.

He was supposed to be the hero, despite the jokes about it all, they all knew he was.

But not this time.

Eddie almost died. Max almost died.

He could feel the bat bite on his stomach burning and itching, like it was already getting infected, but he ignored it.

He could wait.

He sat down on the side of the bed, slowly so he wouldn’t wake Eddie up.

But Eddie’s eyes fluttered open once, then twice, then a third time before they managed to stay open enough to see Steve.

“Stevie?” His voice rasped out, a small smile hidden under his oxygen mask. “You’re here.”

“I’m here, Eds.”

He had to be strong, but his brain was so focused on everything he’d done wrong and if he’d just been faster or got out of the vines quicker, Eddie probably wouldn’t be here and Max would be awake and-

“Stop.”

“Hm? Stop what?”

“Bein’ mean.”

Steve’s brows furrowed. He hadn’t even said anything else, had he? Was he so exhausted that he was actually talking without realizing it now?

“I’m not even saying anything.”

Maybe it was Eddie hearing things. He knew morphine was pretty intense.

“To yourself.”

“What?”

“Bein’ mean to yourself. In your head.”

“I-”

“‘S okay. Me too sometimes. Just gotta stop.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile at the way Eddie’s eyes kept drooping closed as he spoke. He would probably fall back asleep any second.

“I’ll be nice. You get some sleep.”

“You rest?”

“Not yet. Maybe later.”

Steve couldn’t really rest until he knew everyone was home, safe, and sleeping off some of the worst of their injuries.

“Yes yet.”

Steve snorted. Eddie was so high. He knew it was better than whatever pain he would feel when they eased him off of everything, but hopefully he wouldn’t remember all this.

“Sleep,” Eddie said, his hand managing to find Steve’s and tugging weakly on it.

“I can’t sleep here, Eds. This is your bed.”

“Our bed.”

Steve’s cheeks were hot, he knew if he touched them, they’d feel like fire. Eddie just had that way of completely rendering Steve speechless. He’d done it so many times over the last couple of days, Steve lost count.

“I’ll stay right here until your uncle gets here, okay?”

“And after?”

It probably wasn’t smart. It would look weird for him to stay in general, but he also had to get the kids home, try to patch himself up at home, maybe shower before he did some rounds and made sure everyone was taken care of.

“I have to take care of the kids.”

“But they have parents.”

“Yeah, well.”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Hopper walked in, face as serious as Steve had ever seen it.

“I was able to contact your uncle, Eddie. You can go now, Steve.”

But Eddie gripped his hand harder, frowning at Hopper. He seemed more awake all of a sudden, but with the way his eyes kept trying to close, Steve could see it was a challenge.

“I want him here.”

“Eds, it’s fine. He’s not too happy with me right now, so-”

“What? Why? You helped save the world.”

Eddie was looking between Steve and Hopper like an answer would suddenly make itself known, but Hopper was just staring at Eddie, and Steve was just staring at his feet.

He didn’t want to get Eddie involved in this. He just wanted to pretend it never happened, maybe try to look Hopper in the eye again someday, and apologize to Joyce for not keeping the kids as safe as he could have.

But Eddie apparently took the “no running” thing very seriously now.

“Steve? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just. I kinda let them down, didn’t keep everyone safe.”

Steve shrugged it off, but he knew he wasn’t very convincing, or really even shrugging it off. He still felt the ache of disappointing people in his chest.

“Hold the fuck up. You’re serious?”

Eddie sounded as outraged as someone high on morphine could. His voice was barely distorted by the oxygen mask on his face, and his eyes were nearly at their normal size.

Steve couldn’t look at either of them.

“Steve is trusted by all these parents to keep their kids out of danger, and he brought them headfirst into it. It just made Joyce and I wonder how often they were doing stupid things,” Hopper explained, though he didn’t even sound convinced he believed his own words.

Joyce was walking in just as Eddie was about to speak.

“Steve, I think you should bring Dustin home. Claudia is going to get worried.”

He didn’t need to look up to know that Eddie was glaring at Joyce and Hopper.

“Let me get this straight. Steve provides free rides, and babysitting services, and meals, and fun for your kids damn near every day. He protects them during this shit every time it happens, literally puts his body on the line to keep them alive. Tried to somehow keep them as safe as possible when it seemed like the world was ending this time, did keep them alive, and you’re still finding reasons to blame him?”

They both had the decency to at least look like they regretted it.

But they still didn’t say anything.

“Fuck this. I’m not gonna pretend to know everything about your little Upside Down Club, but I’m in it now. None of us wanna be here, but we are. Steve’s been doing his best for years, since he was a kid, and all you can do is complain that your sweet angels aren’t completely unscathed? This is a team effort, you know that. They volunteered. Steve would have had to lock them in a prison cell for them not to help.”

Steve looked up at Eddie, watched as he started to lose the fire that had overtaken him temporarily, his eyes dulling as the morphine dripped into his veins and flushed through his system.

“Best damn babysitter…” Eddie mumbled as his eyes fell closed.

Steve watched him for a moment, waiting to see if he suddenly woke up again. When he didn’t, he stood up slowly, didn’t want to risk him feeling the bed move, and made his way to the door.

But something hurt in his chest, something he knew wouldn’t go away unless he said something.

He turned to see Hopper and Joyce staring at each other, having a silent conversation.

“I’m used to disappointing people. I’ve been disappointing my parents my whole life. Disappointed friends, Nancy, bosses. But I have never let those kids down. I do my best with them. I try to be there for them the way I wish someone had been there for me. I make sure they’re kids because life handed them a shitty card or whatever and they deserve to still be kids. You can be mad at me if you want, but I know I did my best. They know I did my best.”

He didn’t wait for a response, didn’t want to hear them say anything else about how wrong his decisions were.

But Joyce stopped him from leaving the room, hand on his arm.

“Steve, wait. Honey, I’m sorry. I think…I think we got caught up in the moment and just needed someone to blame.”

“You do the best you can. We know you do a lot for them.”

It was nice to hear, but he couldn’t get over the uncomfortable itch in the back of his head that he deserved more than that.

“Thanks, but I don’t think I can accept the apology right now.” And then the anger really set in. It came over him so fast, he could feel his hands shaking. “A lot of things are out of our control. We all wanna blame someone for this stuff, but it just boils down to the same people over and over. Max is in a coma because of Henry Creel, not me. Eddie is in the hospital because of demon bats, not me. Eleven and Will are connected to the Upside Down because of the government, not me. I’m just trying to be whatever they need, and that’s better than I can say for either of you at this point.” Steve left this time, Joyce dropping her hand from his arm halfway through his loud speech.

Okay, he was yelling.

But Eddie slept through it, and it felt good to get all of that out.

He made his way to the waiting room, hoping everyone would still be there so he could check in.

Everything felt too fresh, too much like Vecna could show back up and take any of them at any moment.

But the waiting room was empty, not even Dustin remained.

Steve did his best not to panic. Their parents had all been contacted, so they most likely had just been picked up and brought home.

“They’ve all been picked up, sugar,” an older nurse said from the front desk.

“Oh. Thanks.”

“They left you a note, though.”

He recognized her as the woman who had been here the whole night, handling phone calls and people walking in like she’d been doing this for decades. Maybe she had been.

He walked over and grabbed it from her, giving her a small smile in thanks.

He walked outside before he opened it, not sure why he was suddenly nervous.

But as he read, he felt tears in his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

Steve- Go home and sleep. We’ll be okay for a day while you rest. You don’t ever do that. We don’t agree with Joyce and Hopper, and we hope you know you’re the best damn babysitter ever. Love, Dustin, Lucas, Erica, El, Will, Mike, and Max (if she could)

He folded up the note, put it in his pocket, and walked to his car.

He ignored the blood in the backseat, rolled his windows down to ignore the stench of iron.

Knew he would be spending most of his day tomorrow trying to clean the stains out, but figured it would be a good mindless task.

He thought about Eddie, about how quick he was to defend him. About how he’d gripped his hand like it was a lifeline.

It felt that way to Steve.

He hadn’t let Eddie down. He’d saved Eddie.

If he didn’t do anything else right, he’d done that, and nothing Joyce or Hopper said could take that away.

[sinsirellaxx]

Yandere Alphabet – Daemon Targaryen

Warning: Yandere themes!

Requested by: @reagan10108 – hope you'll like it! ❤️

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? So intense – Daemon is extremely temperamental and fiery, which definitely bleeds into his relationship with his significant other as well. A relationship with him would be extremely passionate but also tiring and suffocating. He’d shower his partner with affection whenever he could with small gestures, lots and lots of physical touch and slow songs hummed against his partner’s temple at night.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling? We’re talking about the Rogue Prince, so … he’d paint the whole world red just for his darling.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? This depends on his darling. If his darling rejects and fights him, he’ll be cruel and mock the reader until they break. He’ll be relentless in breaking you.

If the darling is scared, he’d take a softer approach. But he’d still make sure that they understand that there is no way out for the darling – the only escape is death.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will? This one is hard …  I don’t necessarily see him as someone who’d force himself on his darling because he’s too proud and does not want to be a monster. But I also think that he’d have his limits too, which means, that he’d resort to manipulating his darling into sleeping with him if he had too. And he’s not known for his patience either.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? He’d definitely be the most vulnerable with his darling, but I don’t see him opening up that fast into their relationship. It would take a lot of trust for him to open up, which is quite difficult given the context.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back? He’d be riled up – torn between loving and hating the fire in his darling’s eyes. But one thing’s sure: He’d grow uncomfortably hard as he yanked their head back by their hair, the cute frown on his darling’s face only adding to the fire burning through his veins.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? During his youth I can see Daemon loving the chase but the older he gets the less he would want to deal with such nonsense. He’d rather have his darling trapped on his lap while enjoying their warmth.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? Even if he does enjoy the chase, the consequences would be grave for his darling. A moon after being abducted and his darling growing more comfortable around him, Daemon had relaxed a little. He’d allowed his darling to roam around the gardens under his watchful eyes – the Targaryen prince enjoying his darling’s relaxed features.

One day, after returning to his chambers, his darling had hugged him tightly, thanking him for the new freedom they had received. Daemon had chuckled lowly, as his hands stroked over their back fondly. He had let go of his darling, turning around to grab a cup from the table, his other hand reaching for the jug of wine only for his hand to come up empty.  Weird. The Rogue Prince frowned until realization washed over him. The hairs on the back of his neck raised and before he could whip around to face his darling something hard was whacked over his head.

He momentarily lost focus, his head throbbing from the impact and his eyes burning from the wine dripping into his eyes. He could hear his partner’s footsteps rushing out of the room.

And that was his darling’s first attempt at escaping Daemon. It was also the first time Daemon had forced himself on his darling.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? Daemon wishes for peace and serenity, with the occasional excursions on dragon back. If his darling can have children, he’d have as many as they could. If not, he’d be content with indulging in his darling for as long as he could.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? 100 % do not recommend making Daemon jealous. It would be difficult not to make him jealous. No matter who his darling talked to, looked at, breathed at – he’d be suspicious if not jealous. His way of coping would entail taking it out on his darling in the bedroom or fighting whoever came close to you.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling? In the privacy of his chambers, he’d be softer and calmer with his darling. Outside, in front of others, he’d be on high alert. He’d be tense, grumpy and extremely protective.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling? Daemon isn’t one to shy away from a challenge – and courting his darling would be one of many challenges he’d face. He’d be chivalrous, gifting you jewelry with his houses crest to mark you as his. He’d watch out for his darling and always tell the kitchens to prepare your favorites whenever they were there. But his chivalry only lasted for so long – if his darling rejected his advances or played hard to get he’d resort to more drastic measures.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? He is mischievous and manipulative yes, but he’s not someone who’d hide behind a mask.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling? He’d be quite mean about it – he’d degrade his darling and spank them. If his darling wants to act bratty, he’ll treat them like one.

If it’s more drastic he’d isolate the reader completely.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

At the beginning he’d completely restrict his darling. His darling would have to earn his trust to be allowed more privileges. The darling wouldn’t be allowed to walk around without him or talk to people that weren’t part of his family.

Daemon would even control his darling’s outfits – they would always have to wear his colors and their jewelry with the Targaryen crest.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Not at all. He has had to wait a lifetime for his niece until he finally gave up, enraptured by his darling, so, why should he wait? He’d want his darling immediately.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on? If his darling escapes, he’d look for them everywhere until he found them. He’ll only stop looking for his darling if he has them in his arms or if he is physically unable to.

If his darling dies in his arms, he’d try to preserve their body for as long as he could – not ready to ever let go of his darling.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go? No. This man knows no regrets.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)? He is a Targaryen – I guess the coin landed on the wrong side.

But also: Second-born-son-syndrome. (Spare-Syndrome)

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He wouldn’t be necessarily sad but instead it would aggravate and provoke him. Why were you acting up? Why wouldn’t you just accept him? He was spoiling you rotten and you still didn’t appreciate all his efforts?

He’d demand you to stop crying, gripping your chin harshly while spitting the words against your lips.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?Due to the power he holds as a prince and a dragon rider he’d have it easier in many aspects: abducting his darling on dragon back would be like a walk through the park. He could take his darling anywhere and no one could do anything – no one would dare to. He’s the Rogue Prince after all.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?There are no weaknesses.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling? Yes, I can see Daemon manhandling and hurting his darling. (Have you seen the way he chocked Nyra?)

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over? He’d have to have his darling – 100 %. He’d secretly worship his darling but wouldn’t make it obvious – he couldn’t allow any openings for his darling to use.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? As mentioned above, he has wasted so many years pining after his niece but now that he has his darling, his new obsession, he cannot wait any longer. So, he’d snap pretty fast.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling? Yes – even if unintentionally.

[lains-reality]

Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.”[source]

please give yourself the grace of forgetting, of being sad, of failing, of fearing. you are allowed to. all is Self. you are okay now and here.

allow yourself to look at the insecurities, shame, guilt and fears.

give yourself the chance to respond, not react.

let vanessa be. vanessa is just a person like anyone else. thinks they are born and will die. every vanessa, no matter how well off they are, is scared shitless. but you treat your vanessa so badly.

you hate it. you want it gone. you see the body and mind as a cage without a key. it hurts. you curse it and nothing changes. you try to convince it and nothing changes. you curse it more.

It is not a matter of enduring, it is a matter of you being so crude to Vanessa, and expecting so much of her when she has no power. Do you feel the same way about the homeless man on the street corner? Do you constantly chastise him in your head, blame him for his circumstances? Even if you are the kind of person to judge based on appearances, you do for a moment and move on with your life. That's because you never thought he was you so how could you feel pain on his behalf? You may do the opposite and feel bad for his situation for a bit, but you still leave the matter alone as he's none of your business and you have your own things to worry about. - post source

vanessa is doing the best it can. it sings, dances, loves! it bleeds, it shudders, it hurts. all is the wide expression of Self.

and yet you hide from the pain, from the hurt, from the thoughts, the feelings. this is not the fullness of Self.

forgive yourself. let go of the shame and guilt. stop shaming vanessa for exsiting just like any other person in the street. stop carrying all responsibilities of the world. it's already taken care of.

you breathe with no help, you shit with no help, you eat with no help, you sleep with no help. and even if you do need help, the inability to do so, happens without your help. your amazon package comes through, your sibling grows 2 cm, the sun rises and falls, the seasons pass by. all by itself. what's orchestrating it all? Self. what other reason have we given ourself the world, other than out of love?

Leave poor Vanessa alone and stop assigning her the responsibility and accountability of everything that the dream shows. The entire dream is all an expression of the Infinite Being, not hers (the ego) which she is just one more creation of. And it doesn't have to be your (the Self's/I AM's) dream anymore when you stop identifying with it. - post source

its already out of vanessa's hands. vanessa can't do anything. let that be a celebration: all is taken care of. unconditonally.

"why is it all taken care of?"

"why not!"

"but why should *i* get the world?"

"why not?"

"but-"

its already all here for you. its already as it is. what is vanessa gonna do to change the infinte? why would the infinite need changing anyway?

Treat it with compassion, stop bullying it, it's not its fault you're not where you should be. You think he's in the way so you get mad, you get frustrated it's not following instructions or refuses to step aside. But the ego is not the problem, nor in the way. Your attitude toward it is the problem. Let it be, it doesn't know any better! - post source

give yourself the permission to exist as you are. give yourself permission to be as you are, right now. start asking 'did i give permission for this?' you'll find how much stuff is not even your choice. as ada said its just tolerance and endurance of the forced vanessa.

now you realise you don't have to be a forced vanessa. so you go completely the other direction and try to (forcefully) change the vanessa. you're still holding up standards, ideas & roles to yourself. the things that made you hate vanessa in the first place. just maybe, for this moment hold nothing. drop the knife.

“Stop trying to heal yourself, fix yourself, even awaken yourself. Let go of letting go. Stop trying to fast-forward the movie of your life. It gets so exhausting, doesn’t it, always trying to get there, chasing futures that never seem to arrive, living on second-hand promises. Instead, bow deeply to yourself as you actually are. Be here. Honour this present scene in the movie. Your pain, your sorrow, your doubts, your deepest longings, your fearful thoughts, are not mistakes, and they aren’t asking to be healed. They are asking to be held. Here, now, lightly, in the loving arms of present awareness…” — Jeff Foster

[2-dsimp]

Hey, can you do Yandere! Villain! Diluc x Citizen! Y/N

Please? Because I think is a interesting idea (in my point of view)

Here some context idea how Yandere!Villain! Diluc meet Y/N: *Y/N saw Diluc harm after he fought against the hero, Y/N knew that Diluc was a villain but they felt bad for Diluc, so Y/N treat his wounds and Diluc felt the need to have Y/N on his side no matter what*

I hope this helps you! (^^)

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A/n: That helped me a lot I love it when there’s details in request. It helps to really flush things out! o(≧v≦)o

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My villainous Admirer

|Yandere villain! Diluc x Citizen! reader|

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Dark knight was terribly wounded in battling an Hero who specializes in ice elemental magic. Managing to become victorious but at the cost of his physical condition worsening as time past due to the strain of using his powers. Taking what he needed from the hero’s suit, Diluc managed to find solace within the sleaziest parts of town where it’s a no law zone in its own right. The people in the abandoned district within Teyvat the land of freedom. follow a single rule; Pay no mind to the business of others that don’t concern you and you’ll be left alone.

Which means that someone could be bleeding out to death in the middle of the street and no one would bat an eye nor utter a single word at the display. The Dark Knight was currently slumped down against the grimy concrete walls of the shady alleyway. His breathing was hoarse and unsteady as he tried to recuperate himself, pressing down against the ice knife that was planted within his side. Desperately trying not to pass out from the backlash of using his powers and from potential blood loss if he happened to loosen up on the knife that was implanted deep in his abdominal side.

But he was struggling with keeping his eyelids open as black splotches ensnared his vision. He knew that if he were to fall unconscious then he’d undoubtedly be at a disadvantage since there are a hefty sum of individuals who held grudges against him from the past and are waiting like vultures to pick at him when at his weakest.

But just when he was about to begrudgingly accept any cruel fate that was waiting for him once he had fallen prey to his subconscious. He witnessed a blurry figure of a person offering his hand down to him. Diluc had half the mind to tell them to fuck off but from what he could see, he instantly knew that you were fresh meat. An unfortunate soul who happened to unknowingly move into this unlawful town due to the drastic low prices he assumed.

Plus the way you looked at him with such warmth in your eyes mixed with concern and slight fear? He couldn’t tell if you were in fear of him or afraid of what state he’s been reduced to. Either way Diluc couldn’t properly fathom why someone would go out of their way to help a villain. Perhaps you didn’t know him? Letting his thoughts swarm his hand on reflex reached for yours, trusting in his instincts he let you guide him to the safe haven of your apartment too tired to act rationally.

You were oh so attentive towards him, your touch felt like a mellow spring breeze which wafted over him so pleasantly that it put him under a trance. And before he knew it he was tucked comfortably in your bed, wounds dressed properly, and now he was currently being hand fed some rice porridge by yours truly.

Was he dead?

Did he happen to die and become swept off his feet by an absolute angel?

Diluc couldn’t comprehend it fully. Constantly questioning why you were so relentless in nursing him, a stranger, and even worse a well known villain to society like himself, back to health. He crossed out the possibility of you not knowing him when he peeped up at the tv which showed him on the news getting into an altercation with the Hero.

You knew who he was.

“Why did you bother saving me?”

He uttered in a raspy voice, his once dull dead eyes which now resembled the colorful embers of a blazing fire. Were staring dead into yours with a heavy sense of conflicting emotions. And the response he got from you left him speechless, he watched you in silence once you left the room to get him a glass of water. After you were out of earshot he began letting out a small hoarse chuckles of disbelief that heaved from his abdomen painfully but he couldn’t care less.

“You saved me because you couldn’t help yourself? What are you some kind of saint? What if it was all an act and I was just pretending to be weak?”

When you show kindness to a man shrouded in whispy flames of darkness, who has lost what was precious to him time and time again. You can’t expect for everything to be just as it was before. Now that you’ve saved him, and showed him how naive and gullible you are. I’m afraid he’ll take it upon himself to become the protector you’ve never asked for but needed. Now that he’s gotten a taste of the generous hand that graciously bestowed upon him an refreshing sense of fulfillment and newfound purpose.

He just had to have you no matter what.

“You really are careless my angel…But don’t worry because now you have me.”

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Hi, can I request please of ROR humanity x Teen! Reader who is in next her round of arena to fight the gods. The humans are scared to see their precious reader is fighting the god because she is so young. Reader got injured abit but she didn’t give up but stay strong and determined and say something that she won’t give up no matter what. Once she defeated the god, Reader shouted out like releasing out some steam after the fight and passed out.

-You were regarded as one of the strongest people ever, for your age, being a middle-aged teen (15/16) but your age just made people underestimate you. That was their first mistake, as you loved to be underestimated. It made the surprise more enjoyable for you.

-When you met with the other fighters for humanity, Brunnhilde calling your group the Einherjar, you were met with wide eyes, dropped jaws, and almost immediate anger directed at Brunnhilde.

-Adam had you almost instantly in his arms, hugging you protectively, “This is a child, Brunnhilde, are you going to force a child to fight?!” most of the others were in agreement with the best dad in the world.

-You pouted up at him, “I know how to fight! I’m stronger than I look!” Raiden was the one to pick you up, holding you by the back of your shirt, you looked like an angry kitten, pouted that you were being treated as a kid, “But you’re so tiny!”

-You just grinned at him, once he set you down, your fists on your hips, “I’m tiny but mighty!”

-The only person who seemed to sense your power was Lu Bu, who stared down at you, his eyes meeting yours and your eyes turned into sparkles as he grinned, almost ferally, at you, when you saw his pointy teeth, thinking they were awesome!

-When it came time for you to fight, you had to basically avoid most of the other Einherjar, who were trying to grab you to prevent their baby from fighting, having already adopted you and didn’t want to lose you.

-When you stood at the doorway to walk out, you turned, “I’ll be fine! See you in a bit!” before you ran out, the crowds quickly going from joyful cheers to shouts of outrage on both sides, seeing a child being sent to fight.

-Your opponent was Eris, goddess of chaos, who was fighting with a pair of short swords while you have a metal baseball bat.

-You were quick to prove them all wrong, easily dodging blows, for a time, and landing whirlwind guillotine kicks to your opponent, showing your strength and skill.

-You took a hard hit to your midsection, getting blown back head over heels and you could hear your new family all calling out for you and the audience behind you calling out in worry and in anger.

-You stood, seeing your baseball bat was broken after you had managed to break one of her swords, and you wiped the bit of blood coming from your mouth as she smirked, “Just lay down, child, and I’ll end this quickly!”

-You glared and punched your fists together, “I ain’t given up, you cock sucking fuck-face!!”

-Everyone, gods, humans, and Eris, turned white in shock, staring at you for your foul mouth, which only appeared when you were pissed.

-Eris shrieked in rage and charged at you, “You little shit!!” but you were able to grab her hair as she went by and pendulum threw her over your shoulder, sending her hard into the ground, “You’ll have to do better than that, ya pussy!!”

-After a few minutes, taking a few more hard shots, you managed to defeat Eris who called you some rather cruel words before you flipped her off and headed towards the entrance while the humans were cheering for you.

-You couldn’t help but grin, despite bleeding everywhere as your arms rose, cheering along with them which made their cheers only grow in volume.

-You don’t remember blacking out, but the next thing you knew, you were in the medical wing, your new family sitting around you, waiting for you to wake up.

-Once they saw you were awake, they were so happy, giving you hugs and you couldn’t help but beam, “Told ya I could handle it!”

-Brunnhilde then approached, her arms folded and had a glare on her face, “Y/N, where did you learn such foul language?” you flinched immediately as their eyes all turned to you as you panicked, eyes darting around rapidly before you gave a weak smile, “Zeus?”

-Elsewhere Zeus sneezed suddenly, wondering who was talking about him before a chill went up his spine, unaware of the fib that you just told, one that was going to get his ass kicked for tainting such a young mind.

[passionesolja]

It baffles me that mfs will say “Astarion is evil because he doesn’t help people and he’s cruel” as if Astarion isn’t a vampirespawn. Like this man went from a normal citizen of Baldur’s Gate to being considered a monster that was not only treated cruelly by Cazador but also abandoned by his own community. Mfs was not lining up to help Astarion, or the other vampirespawns. Hell, even if they did escape Cazador, the rest of Faerun would’ve tried to kill them. Like Astarion wasn’t dreaming of being a vampire, he was given two options: bleed out to death or become a vampirespawn and bro choose what anybody who’s a step away from death would have.

I find it so odd how mfs judge him for not being altruistic and being mean when literally that’s how everybody in Faerun—Cazador included—treated him for 200 years. Why should a man who was enslaved and tortured for 200 years by Cazador and and abandoned and seen as an threat by Faerun want to help anybody he meets?

Cazador is putting him through hell, the Sword Coast would drive a stake through his heart on just the knowledge that he’s a spawn, and the gods abandoned him. Why do people expect somebody who lives in this reality to fall over themselves to help random strangers? Random strangers who would try to kill him if they knew he was a vampire.

Why tf is we judging this man for not wanting to be the Hero of the Sword Coast when literally 90% of the Sword Coast would kill him for some shit he didn’t even have much of a choice in.

[ddarker-dreams]

Can we please know how often Chrollo kisses darling on the LIPS? And how tho? 👀 Because I was wondering that in a lot of your works, he kisses them on the cheek/forehead/corner of lips/the hand and areas like that and I was wondering if 1) he doesn't like making out/kissing the lips or 2) he is trying to be gentlemanly (lol)

you have a sharp eye!!!! there is actually a reason why i use chrollo kissing his darling sparingly in my stories. actually two reasons, now that i think about it. those being:

the anticipation it builds within you that he might cross this invisible line in the sand, that neither of you have verbally acknowledged, yet know is there all the same. being kissed directly on the lips is an intimate act. whether it's in the frenzy of one-night stand or shared between a couple whose been married for decades, it acknowledges some sense of trust between the participants. having the threat looming over your head that he might help himself to your lips is almost as bad as when he's engaging in the act. it's a cruel form of teasing on his behalf.

the second being the ease in which you could retaliate. he'd be in a gloomy mood for the rest of the week if you successfully chomped on his lip in an act of defiance. this never ends pleasant for you either, you'll have some privileges taken away and be treated to an eerie stare afterwards that haunts your nightmares. to avoid this unfavorable outcome, he goes for kisses in places where you can't bite him.

for when he does get to kiss you though... his style is unsurprisingly romantic. it's slow, sensual. he tilts his head so he can slot himself against you better. he favors placing one hand on your hip and the other on your cheek. you can feel all the unbridled passion he tries so hard to keep under control bleeding into his every movement. uses tongue sparingly. the man knows what he's doing. he's a damn good kisser and it's so easy to be swept up in the rhythm he establishes. it's like he's wordlessly expressing that all this could be yours, should you just give into temptation and indulge in the carnal.

[bleedingcoffee42]

Speirs giving Toni a gun and telling her to shoot people, her boyfriend included, if treated not well, is the most Sparky thing ever. It's the top of the tops.

And you know, this and some other stuff you posted made me thing he didn't have a "women problem", he just was that old fashioned dude who thought dating/taking a woman for a dinner = wedding bells.

It's sweet.

And weirdly suits him.

Toni's son says "It was just sooooo Speirs". Yeah, the guy who helped his niece move out of her apartment and said '"'Don't worry sweetie, I have a gun in the glovebox'. Dude was pretty upfront with his modus operandi.

He even saw a bonus of 'seeing my wife and baby!' when going back to England to the hospital in his letter to Ambrose. I'd tell the guy about chunks of shrapnel they were taking out of you or where you got em, but yeah. You get to see your girl too.

Matheson with his reason for him having 'women issues' seems to be that he thought he was collecting wives from every country in the world? Weird thing to be judgy about.

And his ex-wife marrying her POW sweetheart after divorcing him and him being really proud and supportive of his son? Thinking the new husband was a great guy? Happy to be included in their family? Legit had every reason to never see them again and he's telling people in almost every letter how proud he is of his son and grandkids.

'Come at me for the murder idc, but don't embarrass my family when you do it' has it's honest charm?

Also getting his ass kicked and tipping his hat like 'Welp, you got me' as he walks off out of breath or bleeding is just....way better than holding a lifetime grudge ya know?

Every letter from this man follows a formula: "Well that war was a long time ago and I had a 20 year career in the army (IE- I don't really remember the fine details of job I had for 4 months when I was 25 especially since I served in four wars and did cold war shit.) Sgt. Smith died in my arms in Bastogne. Why did he have to stand up that second? WHY? I am SO proud of my son and love my step-grandchildren so much. They are the light of my life. My Life which will end soon because I just had massive heart surgery and all us old guys are kicking it. Thanks for writing! ~~~~Sparky."

It's why he's so fascinating, I just don't know what's better- him being bang bang or the Easy Company guys being :/ "He's murdery and cruel" and then immediately being like "But he's OUR Captain."

Love him or hate him I guess. Or both.

[yanderesimp2000]

cruel vox x Fem hellhound reader Chap 1/2

Vox and hellhound because I'm craving this I didn't put this on the vote because I needed to do it NOW

TWs,biting,threats,dehumanization,Love bombing,cruelty, Being bombarded with treats,mentions of euthanasia

your a hellhound a dog with a humanoid body the lowest ranking being in hell mostly used as pets or body guards your sitting in your enclosure when suddenly vox himself walks in and starts looking at you through the bars Vox smiles and says "Aww, what a pretty girl! You look so cute in your cage!" You back away growling a little not trusting Demons Aw, is someone an angry dog? "Is someone a wittle bitey dog? " He reaches into the cage and ruffles your hair a little. You get even anger and start snarling "Aww, I think this dog likes me!" He keeps messing with your hair. "Aww, you're just soooo... cute..." "ILL BITE YOUR HAND OFF" you yell clearly enraged He laughs and keeps messing with your hair. "Oh, but that would just be so mean. What did I even dooo? Do you want some scritches? I have some snacks..." "No i dont want any scritchies just leave me alone" you say wanting him to go away "Awwww, are you suuuuure? Look how soft your fur is! " He gives you a little scritch behind your ear. You look at him with hatred and anger He laughs. "Oh c'mon... just be a good little dog..."

You were beyond your patience and you showed your fangs "Aww, you look so cute when you're angyyy... y"ou then go in for a bite He jerks his hand away quickly." Aww, so you're a biter, are you? You know what I would do if I were your owner, my cute little puppy? If you were a good little dog, I'd let you out of your cage..." you snarl and yell "LEAVE ME ALONE" He reaches into the cage again and starts messing with your hair again. "Awwwww, someone is grumpy.... " you then go in for another bite but this time you manage to just brush him not causing any major discomfort Vox jerks away again. "Owwww, wow, you really are bitey..." He reaches in again and starts ruffling your hair. Aww, you have to ask nicely..." This time you go in and BITE BITE His hand taking a small pea sizing check of flesh with you

He yanks his hand back, cursing under his breath. "F-fuck!" Vox growls in pain. "Y-you little mutt!..." you snarl again regaining your composure and say "leave me alone" He glares at you through the bars. His hand is bleeding. But.... a devious idea crosses his mind. "Oh, but then again... I have a better idea." you snarl and attempt to bite but your confined in your cage/ room and he's on the other side Vox grins, reaching into his pocket. He brings out a little treat and tosses it to you. you are annoyed but say "I... don't want your treats" He tosses another treat into your enclosure. "Aw, don't be like that! It's just a little treat! I bet you would LOVE it if I just let you out, huh?" Vox giggles, throwing another treat into your enclosure. You are just suuuuch... such a cutie! he kept throwing treats into your cage they were high quality and you were starving for something other then kibble but you didnt want to give him the satisfaction of winning

He tosses another treat into your enclosure. Come on... be a good puppy.. "I don't need all these treats" you say annoyed Vox tosses a couple more treats in. "Come on... just... try one.." "GO AWAY" you yell losing your patience Vox chuckles, tossing another treat in. "You sure you can't be a little... friendly?" you get even more mad you don't trust demons "not with your kind" you snarl

He tosses another treat in." Aaaaawwwww, but what if I let you... out?" He tilts his head. One corner of his mouth starts to curl up." If I open this cage... Would you be... nice?" He grins evilly. "Would you be... friends with me?" You look at him before screaming "NO" He grins even more. "Why not... pretty puppy?" you hate being called names like that you thought they were dehumanizing "I'm not your puppy" your growl back at him He keeps grinning and tossing treats in. "I think you could be. I think I could make you my puppy..." you then get so annoyed and overwhelmed you hide under your bed where he cant see you

Vox leans against the cage, his grin slowly fading into a frown. "H-hey... get back here... " He starts trying to stick his hand through the slats of the cage to pet you. you needed to let him know to go away so you suddenly came out and bit his hand only breaking a little skin Vox jerks his hand away again, gritting his teeth. Blood starts to drip down his palm. "F-fuck..." Vox grits his teeth, muttering to himself. "...damn mutt..." He grits his teeth but keeps trying to reach your collar through the cage. to pull you to him he used his electric powers to heal his wound you then bite and again but this time you don't let go for a little bit Vox shrieks, yanking his hand away and clutching it to his chest. "F-fucking mutt!" Blood dripping down over his fingers. Vox glares in a mix of pain and rage. His screen starts flickering, the image warping. His eyes narrow and his voice sounds more raspy and dangerous. You... you little BASTARD! you yell at him "THATS THE SIGN TO LEAVE ME ALONE" Vox growls, spitting out curse after curse. His screen flickers rapidly. The image warps, becoming dark and twisted

He snarls, his eye swirling rapidly. It is apparent at that moment that his facade is gone, and he is genuinely furious. "F-fuck... you...." your unbothered by his word and you go back to the corner of your cage Vox growls low, banging his fists on the cage."y'know I could have to put down for that" he smirks evilly "and do you want that" He sighs, calming down and using his electrical powers to seal the wounds on his hand. He sighs again, sitting down and leaning up against the cage. "...f-fucking mutt... " you stayed in the corner of the cage trying to ignore him

He sighs again, but laughs to himself. Aw, you think you're scary, don't you? "lets see how scary you can be when their dragging you out your cage to be put down because of how vicious you are" you suddenly stop when he says this His grin returns. "Oh, did I hit a sore spot?" He tosses a couple of treats in. "But don't worry, little buddy, I won't let you be euthanized... as long as you're my good little puppy..." His grin grows. He chuckles to himself. He seems almost... giddy about the idea. "What do you say? Come over... come over here and let old Vox give you some good-girl patttssss~" your growl and say "I'm only doing this because your forcing me to" before going to the front of the cage where the openingg was big enough for vox to grab you and touch you but to small for you to crawl out of

He giggles and kneels down to start to mess with your hair. "Yes, that's my good girl, my pretty little pup~" you just grumble and let it happen He just continues messing and playing with your hair. "Mm, yes, such a good little puppy, arent' you? Yes you are~" He keeps playing with your hair. "Yes, such a good girl~..." He just keeps playing with your hair. "Yes, such a well -behaved little puppy..." He keeps petting and playing with your hair. Suddenly, he smiles. "And you know what little puppies get for being good, don't you?" He holds a treat up in front of your nose. you get annoyed and say "you already threw a bunch of treats in here" Vox chuckles. "And this is the twenty-fourth! Don't complain, little puppy. Come on... you want it, don't you?" you give in and eat the treat out of his hand Vox chuckles. "Yes, there we go! Good girl..."

He leans back against the cage and sighs, grinning. "You know... even if I wasn't threatening you with euthanization I bet I still could've gotten you on board, couldn't I...?" you growl a little annoyed He chuckles and starts messing with your hair again. "Oh, yes, of course I could. Because... you're a dog." His grin gets wider. "And a dog is a dog... and a dog will do anything for a treat, right?" you hated being called a dog you wanted to be treated to like a regular demon

He laughs. "You've been eating out of my hand all this time. I think that makes you a dog." you get sad and say "t-t-this is dehumanizing" Vox just continues grinning. "...oh, you poor thing. Is that the worst thing happening to you right now? Oh, you poor little dog! Are you a sad dog?" You get even madder and say "I wish I could gnaw your hand off" His grin only gets bigger. "Oh? What's that? You wanna bite my hand again, huh? You wanna do something about it?" He leans in so his face is inches away from yours. "Go on. Go ahead. Try and bite me." He keeps grinning, holding his hand out to encourage you to bite it again. "bite me but after your going to the goodbye room" he then points to the euthanasia unit you then start to whimper your brave and vicious facade starting to crumble under fear of death He giggles and grins in a more menacing manner. "Do it, you mutt." you get sad and say "i-im not a mutt" "Oh really?" He leans down closer to your face. "Then why are you acting like one?" you then growl quietly He pats your head. "Are you getting upset... little doggie"? He scoffs. "Aw, the little puppy's growling! Is the little puppy feeling mad... or scared?" He suddenly chuckles and grabs your scruff. "You're so cute when you're feeling scared~!" you hated it when people touched your scruff it was your sensitive and personal area "d-d-dont touch there" you whimper

He holds you by the scruff. "And why not? I mean, what are you going to do about it? I don't think you're that fierce or scary, dog." He keeps holding you by the scruff. "I mean, you're just a scared little puppy dog... You can't do anything. I can do whatever I want and you can't do anything to stop me. And I can tell that you want to be a good little puppy dog. So..." You snarl and say "if only I could bite you" He grins as he starts to squeeze your scruff. "But you can't. Can't bit me... Can't run away....." you whimper a little more He squeezes a little harder. "Can you do anything? Can you stop me doing this? Hmmm?" you get desperate and say "s-s-stop please" He squeezes even harder. "Or what? Or what will you do, puppy?" He keeps squeezing until your paws start to lift up off the floor slightly. you get out a yelp in distress He laughs as he squeezes even harder, not letting up. "Awww, does my little puppy want me to stop? Vox squeezes even harder and he keeps laughing. Eventually you're completely lifted off the ground as he squeezes. The screen flickers as he squeezes even harder and he shows absolutely no signs of letting up. He continues squeezing and finally releases you, letting you drop to the floor with a thud. He is now laughing a little harder. His screen flickers as he laughs menacingly, his expression twisting from playful to just cruel. "Oh, did I hurt my little puppy?" He kneels down, looking over you. "Oh, did I hurt you?" He seems to be getting off on hurting you.... "yes you will be perfect let's go home now pup" he then picks you up by the scruff and walks out of the shelter

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

Hello it’s crucifixion anon here. I’m really glad you liked it knjslmk but also you picked up on everything I was thinking about so perfectly?? I wasn’t sure if I got it across well I’m so happy :D I feel like I got a good grade in toxic yaoi and the teacher drew a smiley face on my essay

“Crucifixion as castration” YESSSS THIS IS EXACTLY THE IDEA I HAD!! L disfiguring Light by destroying the thing he takes the most pride in. A grotesquely archaic karmic punishment. Leaving his mark in such a way that Light will never be able to act as Kira without utterly humiliating himself and cursing L’s name as he does it, or relying on someone else do it for him. Hell maybe Light would even try using his toes. That’d make L very happy.

As a real attempt at preventing Light from killing anyone in the future it won’t do much because, like you said, if he did get the Death Note back he’d still find a way without use of his hands, but it’s a symbolic and emotional way to cripple him. It would be an especially hard blow to Light, who so badly needs to appear perfect in every way that to have such a (WARNING INTERNALISED ABLEISM AHEAD) glaring imperfection in his body might devastate him.

I think any atticwife Light AU- will forever be calling it this thanks to you- should have L damage Light’s hands in some way, whether by just breaking his wrists or amputating his arm to the elbow, because how else do you show your victory over Kira, short of killing him? If you cage a bird, you clip its wings. If you keep a housecat you trim its nails. It’s not an act of hatred, or even a punishment, it is simply a necessary sacrifice of one of the traits that makes them special and wild so that you can hold them close, forever, and be safe from them as they are from the cruel world they came from.

(Light can thrash against the bars of his cage all he wants, he’ll never fly again even if he breaks through.)

And although this is more negotiable if the alternative is hot enough, I do believe L wouldn’t do anything to Light’s feet, not just because “haha foot fetish” but to show he doesn’t have to take away Light’s ability to run for good. Light has no way of escaping now, of course, but even if he did where would he go? Who would worship him, now that L has taken away the hands of God and ruined him? Who is going to admire him now that he’s just a helpless, mutilated boy (WARNING ABLEIST LANGUAGE IS USED INTENTIONALLY HERE FOR CHARACTER PURPOSES DON'T KICK ME OUT PLEASE)- who, except for L? His normalcy has been damaged too much for him to fit in with his peers, his innocence has been sullied too irreparably for his family to trust him, Misa probably isn’t doing much better than he is, so L is the only one who can accept him, now. That’s his life sentence. And one day, when he realises that, maybe L can actually let him use those feet as he pleases, because it won’t matter either way.

I am sorry I ranted much longer than I was intending to there but ANYWAY I’m SO happy you caught the bit about the blood on the sheets being a perversion of a virgin on her wedding night because I was going to write that directly and then thought it didn’t flow. We are so in sync fr I can just mentally project my intended symbolism

Light’s first night nailed to L’s bed as a twisted recreation of a honeymoon night. Their whole relationship as some distorted reflection of a normal relationship: Lind L Tailor was their confession, the handcuffs were their engagement, and L’s victory was their wedding. That first night, with Light bleeding out and vulnerable and rawer than he’s ever been and L treating him like a saint after stripping him of his godhood, is the beginning of their new life together, and the greatest gift they could give each other. An act more intimate and irreversible than wedding vows. “Till death do us part”, except they both know it’s true, and even death wouldn’t part them now that Light will be reminded of L every time he’s forced to kill someone with his teeth, forever.

Ok seriously, I did not intend for this to be so long and I'm really sorry for clogging your inbox so much after you just cleared it all jnklsdfg. If you don't wanna reply that's fine, you can probably guess who I am if you want to chat instead o7

kicking my feet. this is such a nice msg in my inbox to look at. i love looking at this and reading this and thinking about this. every time light picks up a pen and is reminded of L, an indelible mark. GOD. GOOD SHIT. GOOD SHIT!! god. clipping his wings. fuck yeah. in my other atticwife aus for different fandoms i defaulted to breaking legs/knees but oh, light, you can't run without your hands, you can't kill without them....yummy. yummmmmyyyyy. god i love the idea of physically disabling light, who is, you know, perfectly athletic honors student. the humiliation of a body that won't listen to him. the anger. the rage. the grief. something taken from him that the death note can't give back. you only have one body, light yagami, and someone has violated it utterly.

even death wouldn’t part them now that Light will be reminded of L every time he’s forced to kill someone with his teeth, forever.

I'M FUCKING HOWLING. WAIT. HOLD ON. light yagami reduced from the impersonal, dignified killing-with-his-hands to killing with his teeth. the animal symbolism of it all. domestication as ripping someone from their facade of dignity and humanity and forcing them into killing with their teeth. fuck. i'm gonna think about this forever. thank you so so so much???

[jawritter]

If It’s Meant to Be

Part 10

Summary: Bad things happen to good people, that’s just the rule of thumb. But sometimes, things happen for a reason, and that reason is so you can find the person you’re meant to be with…

Pairing: Alpha!Beau Arlen x Omega!Reader

Warnings: 18 + ONLY!!! ANGST!!! Mistreatment of Alphas (yeah, you read that right)

Word Count: 2595

A/N: This fic is completely unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Enjoy!

My Masterlist          Series Masterlist

Y/N’s POV:

It took what felt like an eternity for Beau’s name to be called at the local Helena Rapid Care center. Y/N was pretty sure that it was because he was an Alpha, and one with the Rut hormone still present in his bloodwork, because they were literally the only ones there, and they didn’t even call them back into a private room until the Alpha Doctor, John Carter, that had saw him when he’d gone in for his gunshot wound had sown up to the center, still drinking his coffee and walking around eating his donut like he could care less that Beau and Y/N had been sitting alone in that cold waiting room with Beau running what Y/N had guess was a pretty impressive fever, and totally uncomfortable, for more than an hour. So much for ‘rapid care’, honestly it was a good thing the man wasn’t bleeding, because he would have bled to death before they decided to call him back. 

When they did finally call his name, the Beta male nurse walked them to an exam room in the very back of the building, and demanded that Y/N help ‘her Alpha’, change into a hospital gown, before leaving only to return with two different male nurses, one of which was an Omega who looked completely terrified to even be in the same room with Beau, JUST so that he could draw a blood sample. 

Y/N could tell that Beau wasn’t used to being treated this way. He was the sheriff; mostly respected in the small town. He wasn’t a danger to anyone, and even though Y/N and Beau had their issues, she was sure that even if he was in full fledged rut, he’d never hurt a hair on anyone’s head. Hell, he’d shown her his gun, and told her to fucking shoot him if she felt that he’d hurt during his rut!! He was never a threat to anyone and the way they were treating him made her blood boil. 

Sure, there were some really bad Alpha’s out there. Some of them were dangerous. Some of them used Omegas and Betas as if they were nothing more than a wet whole to knot. Property. Beau was NOT one of those Alphas, and the fact that they seemed to make that assumption about him, and treat him as such, was just fucking rude and hurtful. Not to mention he already felt horrible anyway. 

When the door shut, Beau, completely uncharacteristic to the way he’d treated her from the moment she’d picked him up at the hospital yesterday, had slid closer to her in the chairs they had them sitting in and leaned his head against her shoulder.  They could have at least supplied him with an exam room that had a bed, but apparently they couldn’t be bothered to have him that close to the main desk, so they had shoved him in this little room with just two straight back chairs. Y/N shifted so that he could at least lean into her more comfortably as she set there stewing in her anger. She wasn’t sure how she’d pull it off, because as far as rights go, Omegas had very little rights, but she was definitely going to contact Jenny and Beau’s other partner they called ‘Popcorn’, to make a formal complaint against this place, regardless of whatever happened between Beau and Y/N. This was cruel. 

She was just about to say, ‘fuck it’, and get Beau dressed to take him across town to another hospital that might at least treat him like another human being instead of a fucking rabid dog, when a loud rap sounded on the door, and Carter opened it. 

“Okay, let’s have a look at that shoulder, '' he announced, ignoring Y/N completely and stalking over to Beau with the full air of an annoyed Alpha as Beau sat up straight next to her. “Then we will go over your blood panel with you that was drawn when they brought you back here.”

The sound that the chair he dragged across the linoleum floor made Y/N flinch as he settled himself in front of Beau, and started to unwrap his shoulder. Beau just kept his head down, clearly he felt like utter crap for even having to come here, the least this douchebag could do was be a little more respectful to him, but Y/N guessed that he was in a mood, and just didn't care. 

“Your shoulder looks fine,” he announced after a moment before he started to rewrap it. 

“But it hurts worse,” Beau protested, and the doctor shot a glare in Y/N’s direction that left little to no doubt that the doctor’s source of annoyance was actually HER rather than Beau. 

“That’s because the fever is burning off the pain medication before you can really get much relief from it,” he answered sternly. “Which brings me to the next issue I want to address here.”

The doctor stepped back and glared at Y/N as if he hated her very being, and she sank back in the chair to make herself smaller in spite of herself. Honestly, she hated looking weak in front of a room full of Alphas. 

“Has anyone ever explained to you how your body’s function? How your hormones, especially the all important Alpha Rut Hormone is produced?”

Both Beau and Jenny just look at one another in confusion before shaking their heads and looking back towards the doctor, who pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head in exasperation. 

“The Alpha Male Rut hormone is stored and produced, in the testicals, much like testosterone. When a male successfully ejaculates, the hormone, along with a strong dose of testosterone and live sperm is released from the body. That’s why in order for the rut to pass, he needs to find a mate to help him, OR, if he’s young enough, he can manage with toys and just self ejaculation until enough of the hormone has left the body, and the rut passes.”

Both Beau and Y/N were staring at the doctor like a deer caught in headlights, but Y/N was pretty sure that she knew what the doctor was getting at, and slowly, Beau seemed to catch up too. 

“But I’m not in rut,” Beau argued, “and my shoulder isn’t infected, so what are you getting at? Why am I running a fever?”

“When your body is not able to release the Rut Hormones in the way the creator, or biology, whatever you believe in, intended, it is cycled through the system and back into the body, causing a rut fever, which is exactly what you have. You have so much of the Rut Hormone present in your bloodwork this morning, I’m surprised you’re not feral.”

Beau looked down at his lap, blushing deeply under the doctor’s gaze, and Y/N temper rose as her nostrils flared. So this is how they treat sick Alphas who might be feral? Like rabid dogs? 

“The only way you’re going to get rid of the fever and not go feral, is for that Omega you have over there in the corner of the room get off of whatever prude horse she’s riding on right now, and do what nature intended the pair of you to do, because the fever is going to literally fry your brain, and you’re going to be nothing but a drooling, feral mess that someone will have to put down.”

The sound that erupted from Beau’s chest damn near made Y/N fall out of the chair she was sitting in. He shot to his feet so fast, with his hand around the doctor’s throat, that she didn’t even really see the movement, until she registered that he had the doctor around the neck, and was attempting to choke the man to death. 

“Never speak about my Omega like that again, or I will snap your skinny little neck. Do you understand me?” the Alpha warned, and the doctor could only gasp and nod as Beau dropped him to the ground. 

“Get him dressed and out of here, I’m no longer going to be your primary provider,” the doctor said as he stood to his feet and adjusted his lab coat before storming out of the door. 

Beau stood there angry and breathing heavily between Y/N and the doctor until the door was closed, at which point Beau turned to her, shame and disgusted clearly plastered over his face. 

Y/N stood slowly, approaching the Alpha as if he could snap on her at any moment, because honestly, she wasn’t sure what to make of him. He’d never stood up to anyone about her before, and it wasn’t something she expected, but if the doctor was right, and the hormone was present in his system that heavily, he was dangerous, and could indeed snap if he was set off. 

“Come on Beau,” she said, grabbing his shirt and showing it to him. “Let’s get you dressed and take you home.”

Beau’s eyes lingered on her for a moment before he let her help him out of the hospital gown, he didn’t say a word, just stared at the floor. The grim silence that fell around him was almost palpable, and she wondered if this is what it was like in the final moments that someone had just accepted their fate, and given up. Sheer, painful, utterly silent loss. 

Beau’s POV:

Beau’s feet felt as if they weighed 1,000 lbs as he followed Y/N out of the clinic through the back door, because they refused to let him walk through the front of the clinic, into the cold, sleeting rain. His shoulder was screaming in pain, and his chest felt as if it weighed a million tons with each breath he took as he did his best to stave off the impending panic attack. 

This was it, the end of the road for him. He was going ‘home’ to die on the couch of the one person that could save his life, and honestly, it was his own fault. He was the one that stupidly made her hate him. He was the one that pushed her away. He was the one who refused to do what instinct told him to do the night she showed up at his trailer, all because he thought she deserved better at  her age than to be stuck with someone that carried as much baggage from his past as he did. He’d created the recipe for his own end. He had no one to blame but himself. That didn’t make it hurt any less. 

If he could just go home to his trailer, then he could end it himself before it got too far, and feral. He would at least be able to die with some measure of dignity then. Not a drooling, fever-brained mess that most likely won't even be able to talk. He’d have rather gone in the line of duty than this. 

Beau crammed himself into the passenger seat of her little car, and waited for her to settle herself in the car and close the door to the cold before he cleared his throat to force himself to speak, praying to whatever god was listening that she would either feel sorry enough for him that she’d let him die his way, or that she wanted to unload him bad enough, at this point, either way he’d take it. 

“Please take me back to my trailer. I wanna go home,” he said, his voice rough and barely above a whisper as he stared blankly out of the window. The first good snow would set in soon, but most likely he wouldn’t be able to see it. He’d probably be dead before it settled onto the ground. 

“Maybe we can try another place,” she tried. “That’s just one person’s opinion. Maybe there’s a doctor in another county that can help or—”

Beau just shook his head and stared back at her, defeated, sick, and more alone than he’d ever felt in his life, it was enough to close her mouth without him even opening his. 

“There’s no doctor going to help in another county,” he said, letting one single tear spill from his emerald depths that were swimming with emotions. “Just take me home so I can at least die in my own bed. Can you please let me have that much? I will leave a note, saying it was my choice so that you won't get in any trouble. Please?”

Y/N  sat there staring back at him for a moment, clearly debating over something but she had no idea what. Finally, she nodded as she put the car into drive, and turned onto the main road. Beau’s thoughts drifted to his daughter, and he picked up the phone, and opened his text messages, but he had no idea what to even say? How could he tell her he was going to die, all because of this? He didn’t know how to say goodbye. 

Forever:

@whittysunflower

@demongirl1996​  

@as-lost-as-sams-shoe​

@jensenslady79​

@spnwoman​

@stoneyggirl2​

@unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men​

@stixnstripesworld​

@fullwattpadmusictree​

@nancymcl​

@christycreature​

@whiskey-infused-dreams​

@supernatural79impala​

@deandreamernp​

@forgetthisbull​

@miraclesoflove​

@slamminmine​

@deanwanddamons​

@rvgrsbrns​

@chevyharvelle​

@i-love-superhero-movies​

@lyss-dw79​

@magssteenkamp​

@lemondropirwin​

@squirrelnotsam​

@hobby27​

@spnbaby-67​  

@mrsjenniferwinchester​

@defenderrosetyler​

@thecreatiivecorner​  

@vicmc624​

@busy-bee-angel-misska​

@justanotherwinchester​

@brilovesdeanwinchester​

@idksupernatural​

@lyarr24​

@emoryhemsworth​

@dean-winchesters-gardian-angel​

@flamencodiva​

@itmejado​

@thoughts-and-funnies​

@teresa-67​

@hearteyes-j2​

@peaches007​

@bobbie3939​

@vulgar-library​

@writercole​

@fairlyspnfanfic​

@sexyvixen7​

@spngi​

@b3autyfuldisast3r​

@donnaintx​

@maliburenee​

@the-family-business67​

@agirlwithdemonblood​

@captainsoldiergirl​

@twinkleinadiamondsky​

Jensen and Dean’s Babes

@deans-baby-momma​  

@impalaslytherin​

@perpetualabsurdity​

@msmarvelouswinchester​

@akshi8278​

@love-jackles​

@irmcpar​

@pink-sparkly-witch​

@deans-spinster-witchs-favorites​​

@herstarburststories​​

@mimaria420​​

@deanwinchesterswitch​​

@charred-angelwings​​

@pascal-rascal424​​

@myloversgone​​

@fortheloveof-jackles​​

@eevvvaa​​

@bts-spnlvr12​​

@jxackles​​

@lassie-bird​​

@samsgirl93​​

@shawnie74​​  

@kaz11283​​

@mlovesstories​​

@ladysparks78

[ravenaveira]

Why are you "anti Karin" in general?, and so "pro" a manipulative, repulsive relationship like s/s?

Pfffft the fact that you would say that with a straight face in defense of KARIN of all people.

"Manipulative, repulsive relationship" you mean like this?

Wanting Jugo and Suigetsu to kill eachother so she can have Sasuke to herself, then being turned on by Sasuke's killing intent.

Hitting Suigetsu because he was about to reveal something she did to Sasuke in the past without his knowledge that she REALLY didnt want him to know. Even though we'll never know what it was, her reaction says enough that it was something Sasuke wouldnt like her for doing.

Stealing Sasuke's sweaty dirty clothes without his knowledge. She had this even before the sensory unit became an issue btw.

Being creepily turned on everytime shes bitten by him, any normal person would wince in pain at being bitten like this, not moaning in pleasure. Not kink shaming cuz I know masochism exists, just pointing out how weird af it is cuz Im pretty sure Kishimoto wasnt intending for her to be a masochist since she only finds pleasure in the biting, not pain in general.

Pretty much dehumanizing Karin, treating her as no more than a tool to find Danzo. To be fair Sasuke was awful to everyone atp, but yall try to act like one was better than the other [Karin or Naruto in other cases] this entire arc was to show how far into darkness Sasuke had fallen, remember that for my next points.

Sasuke literally telling her not to move so he could inflict a fatal would on Danzo through her and tells her shes a burden to him now for getting taken hostage. He does this not long after she had got drop kicked tryin to help him and then healing him while Danzo was down. As I stated above, Sasuke was awful to EVERYONE during this arc, but since yall like to use it against SS for why the relationship is toxic then I have to do the same for SK here, yall not special.

She begged Sasuke for help and he told her not to move and then betrayed her so he could fatally injure Danzo with the most sinister look on his face, that was beyond foul.

He was literally about to kill Karin who was a non threat to him, compared to Naruto and Sakura who were actively attcking/threatening him, Karin was on the ground bleeding out and he still was gonna go finish her off with zero hesitation. Atleast in Naruto and Sakura's case it was self defense, but for Karin it was just blatant cruelty, he told her not to move so he could get the killing blow on Danzo, said shes a burden for even getting taken hostage, now hes about to kill her cuz she 'knows too much', how any and I mean ANY of you excuse this but cant do the same for SS is beyond me. Sasuke was defending himself from Naruto and Sakura, but he was just being downright cruel to Karin unnessecarily. But you wanna talk about manipulative and repulsive.

Instantly forgiving him for his cruel treatment of her after a half hearted sorry and then creepily rubbin up against him. Its at this point I and many others lost all respect for Karin because not even Sakura was this pathetic when she first saw Sasuke after what he did to her in the previous arc.

Keep in mind shes inlove with him too, same as Karin, and did not act this pathetic. Even down to the apology Sakura wouldnt let him get off with just a 'sorry' but made him clearly say what he was sorry FOR and he apologized for everything he had done, thats way more sincere than just 'Im sorry Karin' while she's yelling at him to get her to shut up [which worked] compared to him apologizing voluntarily to Sakura who wasnt even asking for one but he did anyway because he genuinely felt remorse for what he did to her.

You dont even SEE what expression he has when he apologizes to Karin and the scene is used as comic relief, but Kishimoto shows Sasuke's sincere and remorseful expression as hes looking and apologizing to Sakura for what he's done and the scene is taken seriously, theres no jokes or weird creepy behavior, but a genuine heartfelt moment between the two.

She planned to make moves on an injured Sasuke while Suigetsu and Jugo were asleep. It dont take rocket science to know shes gonna make sexual advances at him based on her behavior up till this point and Suigetsu even implying she 'did' something to Sasuke in the past.

This is all self explanatory really, these are snippets from her databook which is canon content and consistent with her character. Her feelings are described as an obsession, dangerous, and that she keeps aiming to make him HERS. I dont think it gets any clearer than that why I wouldnt support someone like this.

Just a friendly reminder for all those who like to bring up Sakura being 'useless' and Sasuke feeling the same way well guess what? he's said the same about Karin too and that she was easily replacable, ironically by Sakura lol but he said there were other shinobi he could've picked just as good and way stronger too so, the only real reason he chose Karin was her tracking ability, he literally would've taken anyone else if not for that, and now that that ability is no longer needed neither is she.

No really he never uses her services again even when she comes back later to help in the war but he still gets help from Suigetsu and Jugo, she really was USELESS to him after this point lol speaking of the war though that brings up my next point.

In the middle of a war where the entire fate of the world is at stake, Karin says the most important thing right now is jumping Sasuke and licking him all over. Idgaf if you say this was just comic relief, this is consistent with her character so comic relief or not she REALLY thinks like this.

She stole his sweaty clothes, gets turned on when bitten by him, rubs up against him even while hes clearly uncomfortable, plans to make sexual advances at him while hes injured and the others are asleep, and your telling me this is just all comic relief and that she doesnt actually wanna do the things shes thinking of doing? fk outta here man.

Do I think Karin genuinely cared for Sasuke to some capacity? yes, do I think Sasuke cared for Karin to some capacity? yes, but that doesnt make their relationship any less disgusting or repulsive overall just because I believe there was some mutual care on both sides, that does not outweigh all the weirdo creepy behavior Karin has exhibited, nor does it outweigh Sasuke's total indifference and lack of remorse for anything he did to her even after coming to his senses and redeeming himself.

He never treated Karin as a friend, for a short time he viewed her as a comrade but afterwards he's never treated her as anything more than an acquaintance. Even though this is how he treated all of Taka really, Suigetsu and Jugo were atleast on the same wavelength Sasuke was, they wanted to help him of their own accord with no ulterior motives while Karin did aka 'making Sasuke hers'. Suigetsu and Jugo never asked for an apology nor expected one, they knew who Sasuke was and how he felt about em and accepted that, so as long as both sides are cool with the treatment then I cant condemn Sasuke for his actions if they themselves allow it and feel nothing about it, Suigetsu pretends he did but he still helped and followed him regardless even tho he no longer had anything to gain nor any reason to, even his reasoning that it was to 'split them up' Sasuke has always been indifferent to Karin from the start so there would've been nothing between them whether Suigetsu was there or not, it was all lies just to avoid saying he enjoyed Sasuke's company and actually had gotten attached to this little ragtag team.

Karin however did not accept it and was yelling at him about it until he gave her a half hearted sorry, then mentions multiple times when anyone confronts her about her feelings for Sasuke how 'he tried to kill her so how could possibly like him' which is a lie but the point is unlike Suigetsu and Jugo she actually DID feel some type of way about his betrayal and wanted to hold him accountable for it, so she WASNT ok with how he treated her and therefore I shouldnt be either.

But the main reason Im anti Karin is because of how creepy and perverted she is, I've felt no different about other perverted characters to this creepy an extent, the only reason yall shrug it off or say its just comedy is because its a girl towards a guy, but if Sasuke stole Karins sweaty shirt, did something to her in the past he punched Suigetsu to keep him from exposing, getting turned on and moaning everytime she bites him, wanting her to let two ppl die so it could just be the two of them, locking them in a room together and pressing up on her even while shes visibly and verbally uncomfortable, if he was plotting to make moves on injured Karin while the others are asleep, if he started rubbin up on her chest after he forgives her, if in the middle of the war hes thinking about wanting to jump and lick Karin all over.

I DARE you to try and tell me yall wouldnt want Sasuke's head on a stake for that, but since its a digusting creepy repulsive female towards a guy its all jokes and laughs. THATS why Im anti Karin in general, idc about her past, idc about how shes changed now, and idc about SPs made up filler about her past that contradicts what Kishimoto has written about her past because its not canon and has no basis in canon so why would I treat it like it is? even if it was it doesnt negate anything I've pointed out, nor does it excuse or justify her creepy behavior.

I support SS despite its flaws because there was mutual love and care on both sides, Sasuke was willing to die and lose out on getting his revenge, his lifes mission to save her, and Sakura was equally willing to sacrifice her life for his. He inspired her and made her want to be a better ninja, he made her understand her ignorance of what being an orphan is like which made her way more empathetic towards Naruto, Sasuke acknowledged and praised her strengths and encouraged her to get better, Sakura is the one who gave him both the push he needed to fight back against Orochimaru AND she's the one who made the curse mark rescind when Sasuke snapped, which btw he rampaged because of the state he saw Sakura in and wanted to avenge her, it was her [and Naruto] AGAIN that made Sasuke able to push back the curse mark during the chunin exams.

Sasuke had always acknowledged Sakura's feelings for him and responded to them while till this day he has never even acknowledged Karins weird obsession with him and always just brushed her off and told her to get back, but with Sakura he DID acknowledge her feelings, he never rejected her, but couldnt allow himself to accept those feelings because of the paths he chose to walk, the first one being avenging his clan and the second for him to create peace by ruling the world alone and severing all ties.

People like to use him saying 'she has no reason to love me and I have no reason to love her' as a rejection when it isnt when you look at the context of the scene.

Kakashi is standing up for Sakura telling him how much she only wanted to save him, SASUKE is the one who brings up romance but Kakashi shuts him down by saying you only need a reason to hate someone and that Sakura wasnt trying to make him hers but she just wanted to save him. Actually Ima just let Kakashi speak for himself.

I dont know how much clearer it needed to be than showing Sakura's sincere love for him reminding him of the sincere love he has for his family, he says perhaps those are ties to a failed past right after Kakashi says she's suffering from loving him, he immediately thinks of his family who he suffers from loving as well, he's literally acknowledging Sakura's feelings for him are genuine like Kakashi says but unfortunately nothing can be done about it, the same way his family is gone and he'll always suffer from loving them, is the same way things ever going back to the way they were with team 7 is gone and Sakura will always suffer from loving him as well, because he's decided to walk the lonely path again and cut all ties with them, with Naruto being the last.

After everything is resolved though and Sasuke is finally able to let go of all that hatred and accept Naruto's [and team 7s as a whole] love for him, we see Sasuke's true self and true feelings, and whats the first thing he does when he has this clarity? apologize to the one person he's hurt the most besides Naruto.

When he leaves to go on his redemption journey the only people he talks to before he leaves is team 7, Sakura asked to come with him but he told her he has nothing to do with her sins and to stay behind, which is true she didnt have anything to do with his sins so he really did have to take this trip alone for self reflection. But even though he turned her down from joining him, he promised to see her when he came back, which is a promise he obviously kept as he did come back and the two did travel together and somewhere in between got married and had their daughter Sarada at Karins hideout before coming back home to Konoha where Sasuke stayed for a short time before leaving alone again to go look into the other looming Otsutsuki threats.

Were there flaws with SS portrayal too? of course there was, every main ship got done dirty in one way or another cuz Kishimoto was just bad at writing their romances for some reason despite doing much better with other ships [MinaKushi, YahiKonan, DanTsuna] but thats not a flaw of the ships themselves as it is the writing for them. And no that doesnt excuse SK, because Kishimoto clearly intended for that to be weird, but he obviously meant for SS and NH to be viewed as sincere, he never took SK/Karin seriously and treated em as such, but he did SS/NH which is why you see their scenes are way more heartfelt with more effort put into it, was the execution always the best? hell no, but for what it was he still got the point across whether you disagree with how he handled certain things, myself included, or not.

SS is far from manipulative or repulsive, if your referring to anything from the novels I thought yall didnt consider the novels canon anyway? personally I rarely use the novels in arguments because theres so much debate in their validity, so personally I only acknowledge the novels that got official adaptions or snippets that have been referenced in canon material [like Sakura's childrens mental health clinic is implied in the anime, and Sasuke retsuden got an anime and manga adaption with Kishimoto's involved in the manga ver] these aspects I consider canon, anything else is debatable imo so I didnt use anything from them in any of my rebuttals, just official manga/databook content because thats whats the most explicitly canon by the creator himself. So if your talkin novel stuff I have nothing to do with that, I thought yall didnt consider it canon anyway, but if you do, then even in the novels shes not what you'd describe as manipulative and impulsive just because she isnt giving up on her feelings for Sasuke and will continue to pursue him? if Sasuke truly had no feelings for Sakura he would've made that explicitly clear, but he always left the door open for the possibility which is why Sakura never moved on while Karin did, cuz Sasuke made it clear his heart was with Sakura, not her.

So I'd love to know where you got manipulative and repulsive from because Sasuke's never been repulsed by Sakura, nor has Sakura ever tried to manipulate Sasuke or vice versa. If thats just your personal opinion thats fine, but you should atleast use the right labels to condemn SS with instead of ones that dont apply at all.

[kidrauhlschik]

Stray Kids as Sad Songs

Maknae Line

Han - Iris (The Goo Goo Dolls)

"And I don't want world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand"

It's no secret that Jisung struggles with his mental health. He always has and he's convinced that he always will. His anxiety makes him feel different from other people in the worst way possible.

His life got to the point where he is constantly on the edge, it is simply what he's used to. So, when you came into his life, the anxiety you caused him felt like home.

Everyone around him could tell that he was hurting and his life kept going from bad to worse, but he always failed to see your wrongs and flaws. To him you were perfect. You could see him for what he was and kept him grounded.

"When Everything is meant to be broken

I just want you to know who I am"

It's fine if you broke him down whenever he's happy. You were just protecting him for something worse. It's better to fall from a one story building rather than a fifteen story hotel. At least, that's what he always told himself.

Whenever he would approach you with the biggest smile on his face, beaming with excitement to show you a new song he composed, it was only normal for you to point out the flaws in his work. You were just watching out for him.

Afterall, he can't ever do anything right.

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies"

Whenever he would doubt your words of love, he always remembers that his anxiety is probably the reason he would ever doubt you. You would never lie to him right? You loved Jisung.

You loved him so much that whenever he would have a panic attack, you would dig your nails into his wrists to help him.

Once you drew blood he was finally able to breathe.

He loves you so much because you love him enough.

"Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive"

Felix - Evergreen (Omar Apollo)

"Was there something wrong with my body?"

While staring at the bottom of the glass, he ponders. Was it him? Were you right? He already had body dysmorphia. He already hated himself for the most part, but you made it so much worse.

He can remember fasting for three days, but he never got hungry. He only felt pride when the numbers in the scale dropped.

“She’s going to love me more.” is what he would tell himself as he pinched his gut.

The members were getting concerned. Felix had always been a small guy, but now he was skin and bones. If only he had told them the truth. They would have helped had he revealed what went on at home. If only they knew the names you would call him or the way that you’d treat him.

"Am I not what you wanted, babe?"

He tried so hard to be perfect for you, but it was never enough. Every time he looked in the mirror, he could see everything you would see as well. He had bad skin, his freckles were ugly, his eyes were too small, his face was too chubby, maybe you were right. Maybe he was so unlovable that he could only blame himself for the way that would treat him.

Maybe if he had been better, or stronger, or perfect. Maybe then, you’d still be with him.

He could only blame himself the night you left him.

If he was good enough. You’d still be there.

"I've cried, I've cried so much for you, baby"

Yet, he can admit how cruel you were. He can finally say that he doesn’t love you anymore, but the damage you cause ran deep. As awful as you were to him, he only felt resentment towards himself.

He doesn’t know who he hates more. You or him?

"You know you really made me hate myself"

If only he could disappear. He’d stop being an inconvenience to everyone. Maybe if he was dead, people would finally love him. There isn’t anything to hate if he can’t be a burden anymore.

He felt bad for his friends. You were probably right by telling him that they were only his friends out of pity.

That’s why he cut everyone off. They didn’t fight to keep the friendship. They were probably glad he took himself out of their lives.

Looking back, they always liked you. You were a different person when you were with them. Maybe he’s so hateful, that he caused you to hate him as well. What other explanation could there be for your treatment?

"Had to stop before I'd break myself"

He knows that he was slowly killing himself because of you. He wasn’t eating anymore, he was too fat. He never left the house anymore, what if someone saw his face? He didn’t have friends anymore, they don’t deserve to have to deal with him. He was drinking himself to sleep every night, it’s the only way he could cope.

At the end of the day, all he wanted what your approval. That’s the reason he sits alone at the bar. Maybe one day, if he became perfect, you’d love him again and he would finally be good enough for you.

"You didn't deserve me at all"

Seungmin - I Wish You Cheated (Alexander Stewart)

"Wondering where it all went wrong"

The road was dark and empty, which made it easier to speed. The music was unbearably loud, but that was fine. Seungmin didn’t want to hear his own thoughts.

What did he do wrong? He was the perfect boyfriend, wasn’t he?

To this day, he still loves you. He loved the way your eyes would glimmer when he walked through the door. He loved your bright smile when you spoke about something you loved. He loved everything about you, which makes things so much harder for him.

"I just need someone to hate"

How he wished that he could hate you. It truly pisses him off to think about you, but you’re always in his mind. The only thing he feels when he sees your face in his thoughts is heartache.

Even now, when his tears are making it hard to see the road, his only wish was for you to be there next to him.

"You and your goddam honesty"

Why were you always so blunt? Why couldn’t you just let him live in his delusions?

“I don’t love you anymore.” Were the last words you said to him before you cut the line.

You had blocked him on everything and told all of your friends to do the same, so closure was never an option.

He asked himself, how long can the pain last?

The pain had been his neighbor for the past six months. Maybe if he had gotten closure, or maybe if he knew what your reason had been, then he could rest.

All he had were good memories of the two of you. Which makes things so much worse.

Had you two argued, had he messed up, or had you found someone else, he would understand. He had absolutely nothing but questions.

"I wish you would have cheated"

What does he tell his friends and family?

Everyone knew of you. So what should his answer be when people ask about you? He doesn’t even know what happened.

He wonders what your reply to that question is. Do you tell people that there was fight? Do you tell everyone that Seungmin was a bad boyfriend? Or do you tell everyone the truth that he will never know?

"I wish I had a reason I could hate your guts for leaving"

If only you had cheated on him. He would be over you by now. Hatred instead of confusion. Was that too much to ask?

He wondered if his never ending list of questions would ever be answered. Was he going to grow old, never know the reason why the one that got away, left him?

Whatever happened to “together forever”?

A humorless chuckle escaped his lips at the absurdity of it all. After all, love is nothing but a joke.

"I wish you were the villain"

If love was real, you would still be with him. Had the promises meant nothing to you?

No matter what perspective in which he would try to read the situation, could help him. Unanswered questions and spilled tears is all he would ever have.

Even if he were to move on one day, you would always cloud the deepest side of his brain. After all, he still loved you. He just wished he knew the reason why you didn’t love him anymore.

"But you did nothing wrong"

I.N. - As the World Caves In (Matt Maltese)

"We're drunk a couple bottles, babe

and set our grief aside"

Alcohol always relieves the stress, which is exactly what the two of you needed.

Why cry when you could be making jokes about the situation?

The two of you were the only ones that knew about what was going to happen.

If it was up to you, you would be alone right now, but Jeongin insisted that it was this or nothing.

As selfish as you felt, you’re glad that he’s there with you. No one wants to be alone at moments like this one. No one wants to die alone.

"Here it is, our final night alive"

You had been diagnosed with stage four brain cancer three months ago. There was nothing medicine could do for you anymore. Which is what made you decide, that if you’re were going to go, it had to be on your own terms.

You had wanted to do it without Jeongin, but he was the one to bring it up first.

“I would rather die than to live in a world without you in it.” You tried to talk him out of it. You told him how foolish it was. He could move on. You wanted him to move on, you wanted him to grow old with a healthy girl who loved him as much as you did. You wanted him to have a family and to live the rest of his life with joy and laughter. Yet, he had other plans.

"And as the Earth runs to the ground

Oh, girl it's you that I lie with"

“We go out together or I go alone right after.” Was his ultimatum. You never agreed with the idea, but you know Jeongin.

“I pinky promise you right now. Whether it’s heaven or hell, I will find you.” His smile quavers a little with what you hope is doubt.

“Innie. Please stay back… I’m begging you to live.” The tears are now freely rolling down your face as you turn to look at him.

He holds your hand and gives it a slow kiss. “I’m not going to live without you. We said that we would be together forever and that’s what we’re going to do.” Nothing but determination drips with every word.

“Jeongin. I don’t-“ He cuts you off with a gentle kiss.

“I’m sorry, but im doing this whether you want me to or not.” A sad smile plays on his lips. Why is he so stubborn?

"As the world, as the world caves in"

Looking into his eyes in the middle of the night is the only think keeping you calm at this point. Hand in hand, all you can think about is how lucky you are, and how unlucky he is. Why couldn’t he be with someone healthy? Someone who could be with him in sickness and in health. Instead, he ended up with a cancer ridden girl that given the chance she would have chosen to die, sick or not.

"Oh we're going out in style, babe"

He tightens his grip on you hand and steps on the gas. Once the car is going fast enough for it to fly off the cliff on its own, he turns to you and holds your face in both hands.

“I love you.”

With a sob you’re able to respond, “I love you more.”

The sight of each other is the last thing either of you see before the world goes dark.

"Yes, it's you I welcome death with"

~

I wrote this on mobile so it might be funky and it’s definitely not proofread. Thanks for reading tho! ♥️