#and I was like 'I called Jesus 'gayboy' too many times and now I'm in Hell (my schools' shuttle system 🤢)'

[a-faggot-with-opinions]

finding out the trans guy who made the mlm flag got (falsely) accused of being a rapist just because the flag looks kind like the lesbian flag (i mean the 7 and 5 stripe ones not the 6 stripe ones he also made) just makes me so depressed. I know if a cis guy made it that it wouldn't get half of the shit that it does.

seeing people repeatedly make jabs at trans men who like boys, calling us shit like "microseparatist gayboys" and tearing down anything that gets made by us or associated with us.... I love my other trans friends but sometimes i do wish there was a space where i could just be around other transmascs where I won't have to see us being falsely accused of rape for making some stripes in a row right next to people who say we don't face things like predator accusations...

I don't feel safe in my "community" anymore and it's breaking my heart. I was so excited to be out when I was 13 and now in my mid 20s I find myself wishing I was anything but what I am. Sometimes I want to look at these people and go "tell me where this alleged 'separatist' group is and I'll go there and stop 'tainting' your community with my transition". Even my love for other trans men is warped and demonized (because it couldn't be pure, it has to be somehow evil) or mocked as "pussy4pussy" (i'm meta4phallo)

Sorry for essentially venting in your inbox but reading those anons who are scared of being out in their own community and especially the anon who socially detransitioned because of "community" abuse/mistreatment. I'm so scared of that becoming my future and I really can't find any solution to it. I just want us all to be ok

Never apologize for venting in my inbox, or sending me a long ask about bad things. The more that transandrophobia can be documented, the less it can be ignored, and the worse its deniers will look. Thank you so much for sending me this, kind anon! (Under the cut there will be a short summary of a personal experience I had regarding sexual harassment, so if you don't want to see that, scroll past this post.)

Transandrophobia is rampant in gay communities, and homophobia + transandrophobia combined is horrible in the queer community at large. I've had multiple people lie about me, and while I've never been falsely accused of sexual harassment or assault, I have been accused of stalking and harassed over it, I've had people publicly speculate about my fetishes in front of me where I could see, with people defending the people doing that because the fetishes I "admitted" (fake screenshots) to "having" were "problematic."

Apparently that is okay to do now, because we're men and because we "chose" to be men that means we must be okay with being sexually harassed... (sarcasm)

Here's the thing. I've never heard the term "gayboy" used for a cis man, while it's used for trans men of all different ages, and while it's not inherently the most offensive term ever, its usage is infantilizing trans men and painting us as "gay man lite." We are not gay men lite, we are gay men. Them calling us separatists is really fucking weird because there are literally homosexual male separatists. They are called biphobic transphobic gay men and you can look them up here on Tumblr and find their blogs with hundreds of followers.

I wish I could crawl through the screen and punch those people who claim that false predator accusations are a transfem-only issue, because I've had it happen to me and so many other trans guys have had it happen to them too. Painting trans men as being predatory like a marginalized man stereotype and also a female invader into maleness at the same time is a very central piece of TEHM rhetoric and anyone who ignores that should be ashamed of themselves, because ignoring and erasing that such oppression exists is also a core piece of TEHM and also TERF rhetoric.

Every day I'm getting closer and closer to actually becoming a gay trans man separatist. Jesus fucking Christ. The rest of the world hates us and the rest of the queer community hates us too, and while I think that getting the queer community to unlearn their transphobia against us is important, I also think it is vital for us to have our own spaces to talk about our experiences without someone interrupting every 5 seconds saying "what about trans women?"