#and fakes up a lof of space

[miekasa]

what college majors do u think the characters would have in the modern world? 🤩🤩

anonymous said: what does college eren major in ? i’m stuck between some political liberal shit to stem

I got a similar ask this morning, so I’ll answer them both here! 

For the first anon, with Eren, I always write him him doing some vague/general science. Like maybe general biology or psychology. I get why political studies might make sense in theory, and I definitely think he would have opinions, but I don’t see him as the kind of person to argue them in an academic setting. Let’s not put Eren in a class where someone can “play devil’s advocate” because he’ll end up suspended for violence on sight 😭😭 

I don’t think he’s the best at math, but I think bio or psych might be good for him because of the discovery and/or introspective aspects. I think he’d like knowing about advances people are making in the science world, even if he doesn’t want to study them or understand them exactly. It might give him a sense of hope. And for psych, I think he would probably find it genuinely interesting to learn about how other people think, and would probably be a good learning experience for looking into himself, too. It might even help him be a little more optimistic. 

We were talking about Jean yesterday, and I can see the premed or nursing route for him, but I think it takes him a year or two before he decides on it and/or realizes that he’s in it for a purpose other than money. I could also see him doing business/econ or marketing, because he’s very charming and personable to me. I’m not sure, but something analytical that gives him a way to make an impact on other people. I also think he’d have a few classics studies/courses under his belt, too. 

For Levi, I think I’d say psychology, too? But more on the side of clinical psychology and neuroscience. He’s canonically good at math, so it would be advantageous. And he’s pretty smart all around, especially when it comes to dissecting information, so I think he’d be good at diagnosis and intricate anatomy. I’ve also written him to be a lawyer because I think his analytical thinking could be of use in a career like that, but people don’t study law in undergrad, so I still think psych would be his major; and maybe he ventures down the law school path later in life. 

I think the obvious answer for Armin is biology, specifically marine biology. That’s not a major at my university, but I know that there are schools with specialized programs like that; or, he’d do regular biology and life studies, and find a study abroad program to supplement the marine education aspect. And if not that, then hear me out: astronomy and physics. Even though physics is fake and made up, something tells me that boy would make astrophysics make sense and make it look easy, too. When you think about it, discoveries in space and the deep ocean aren’t that far off, right? There’s so much unknown, you’re bound to make a discovery if you keep at it long enough. 

I think I’ve written anthropology for Mikasa in a draft somewhere. It encompasses a lot of disciplines, and I think she could handle it well. Also, I guess if you take into account her family history and situation and put in a modern au, it might make sense that she’s interested in the history of people and culture and things of the sort. If not that, then kinesiology. Either way, I think she’s likely to end up going down some medicinal path later, so if she’s not in kin, she would take a lof of med school prereqs as her electives. 

Okay one more idea for Mikasa because I’m in love with her: language studies. Which I think could fit in with anthro, or maybe just be her minor for whatever major she has going on. I just get this Feeling that she’s the type to pick up on languages easily. 

Chemistry for Hange. Any kind of chemistry: regular chemistry, biochemistry, chemical engineering anything; whenever I picture a chemist, Hange pops up. For all the right reasons, of course. Also, can’t you just picture them in little lab coat, running a muck with their goggles on? Fantastic concept, 10/10. But they take any elective they want, their course list is all over the place: bio, liberal arts studies, painting, music; Hange is taking full advantage of all the classes possible. 

Sasha is tricky, and to be honest, I’ve never really thought about it? Maybe arts and sciences? Or maybe just general studies while she figures out what she wants to do? It would be easy to say food science, but I don’t think she’d actually care that much about the chemical breakdown of food 😭😭 she would much rather analyze the taste if anything. She might take a few food science classes that are really on the closer end to cooking classes if the university provides those. But arts and sciences is huge, I’m sure something in there could suit her. 

Connie is another toss up. On one hand I really want to say business or econ, but, like, he’s surprisingly very serious about it. Well, serious in the sense that he actually wants to pursue it; not that he doesn’t party while doing it. I can also see him going into media and/or marketing. Something tells me he’d be pretty damn good at it, too. 

[gotmattitude]

team illegal magic

WHO: Elliot Gilbert (@ellnaturae), Santana Lopez (@trickstersantana) and Matt Rutherford. 

WHAT: They’re supposed to make deals to check what happened to the bros at the Fun Hospital, but they get sidetracked. Illegality, feelings, and what flavor are those chips, Santana? 

WHEN: September 20, 2018.

WHERE: Sciron #207

WARNINGS: Death, missing people, mind control.

Santana was waiting at her room with the door open, eating chips while lying in her bed, totally ready to make deals to check people being missing. "Hey guys"

Elliott arrives with Matt, they were chatting on the way, and he wondered how making a deal seemed so normal like they were just going to do whatever thing. Maybe it was because he never truly understood the implications of that spell, or because the most recent experience he had making a deal was negative, but he still didn't trust it much. However, he also knew that deals could do great, like they did for those poor creatures in Field Studies, how the deal helped find Kurt, and how now it could help them know about those who were missing. He politely waits for Matt to enter first and then enters himself, closing the door behind him "Well..." he awkwardly says looking at Santana eating ship "What flavour are those?"

Matt is nervous. The deals would tell them whether or not the frat guys were alive, but what would they do with that information? He sort of awkwardly steps forwards and backwards when Elliott lets him through first, and he hopes no one else notices. “Hey,” he greets, and wonders what flavor those chips are as well.

Santana goes from lying in the bed to be sitting in her bed. "C'mon guys, take a seat! They areeee" She looks at the bag. "Salty and super normal chips. Want some?" She offers, trying to be a thoughtful and Good friend. Man, she was so proud of her display of generosity, offering her almost empty bag of chips, taking the last full chip and leaving the left overs. "But really, what is this akwkardness guys? We are all friends here. We visited each others lot of times. What happened?" Apart from the missing people and the continuous deadly disasters they were always involved with. And Tina and Matt.

Elliott shakes his hand to reject the bag, he wasn't that into salty things "I was just curious, no thank you" he smiles trying to relax a little, now that Santana says it out loud, he actually notices Matt and him were looking pretty tense. He sits next to Santana and looks down at his high heeled leopard printed boots, because they are fab and also because he was trying to think about a good answer "What did not happen?" he chuckles messing his hair a little.

Matt reaches in and grabs a few crumbs from the bag, probably dropping about half in the process of sprinkling them in his mouth. Glancing at Santana and then at Elliott, he chuckles and tries to ease some of the tension on his shoulders. “Just your daily dose of Tumblr bullshit, and an awkward conversation about my unrequited feelings with Tina,” he says sitting on the other side of the bed and purposely ignoring the missing people they were here to deal with.

Santana shrugs "A lof of things. I didn't win the lottery, I hasn't been accused of any crime since..." She looks at her clock. But she has no clock in her wrist, so she just illusions one. "2 hours and 13 minutes. What about you?" She says and friendly punching him in the shoulder, a little too strong because she remembers he is indestructible, but then she regrets also remembering he is though and hard as steel. She tries to disimulate the hurt in her hand, badly, and shakes it. "Auch" She looks at Matt and crosses her legs to sit on them nd have more space for the rest. "Aw, my friend, how its it going? Did you guys talked again?"

Elliott tries not to laugh but does when Santana punches him and then shakes her hand "Yeah, same..." he jokes taking her hand softly and looking at her illusion clock "2 hours, 13 minutes and 20 seconds, 21...22..." he chuckles and then let her hand go. Then he hears Matt. He knew his friend had some unrequiered crush going on but he didn't know who the person was "WHAT" he can't stop himself from saying loudly "WAIT THE GIRL WAS TINA" he looks at Matt and then at Santana like saying with his eyes did you know this?

Matt laughs, wincing when Santana punches Elliott and it looks like it hurts. "Careful. You beat Tamamo's ass but Ell's arm is some tough shit," he jokes. Shrugging, he looks down at his fingernails. "I haven't heard from her in a while, I've s--" Aether, that's right, Elliott didn't know, and he's starkly reminded of that when his reaction makes him jump. "Holy shit, man. Yeah--yeah, it's Tina. I didn't--I know you two are friends and I didn't want to put you in a weird... place there. But it's her. It was her, I guess." 

Santana raises her eyebrows at Elliott's reaction. She though he knew, Matt tell him on the museum. "Oh my, you didn't know. Who do you though it was?" She kisses her own hand like that would make it any better. "I wish I actually make that old granny eat dirt. But c'mon, survive a 3000 year old trickster bitch attack is pretty impressive per se, you don't have to exag...actually, nah, exagerate all you want, that makes me look even cooler. Specially tell that in front of my fake family, Hoodoo guy" She pokes Elliott nose. "What? You expected Nine Inches to go all Awwww without being subtle?" She jokes with a grin. "Sooooo...nothing after that 'oh'"

Elliott flexes his arm showing his muscle, because that was some tough shit (?). He realizes he was being exagerated with his reaction but he couldn't stop himself from being surprised "sorry, sorry, it's just that you never mentioned the name and I thought maybe the girl was someone I didn't know... it's not like i think any different of the situation anyway" he looks at Santana not understanding what she is saying, maybe like they have talked about something he missed, he then looks at Matt "honestly, now I understand better why you were even more nervous, but... are things with Tina not going well after that?" he worries.

Matt shrugs. "Eh, context. The point is, Ell's arm is--Look at that. Says more than any of my words," he says, signalling to Elliott when he flexes his arm. He laughs, and shakes his head, not quite looking at either of them directly. "No--it's, I don't know what I expected. I just didn't want to--I don't know. It felt like a fuckin' big secret at the time." A sigh leaves him, and he feels really stupid after it does. Aether, this is dramatic. "I haven't talked to her since. She--she told me she didn't want to hurt me, and I..." he thinks for a moment. "I think I also needed some time. I think hanging out with her right after... that wouldn't have helped much." Something strikes him, and he looks at Santana. "Wait, did I tell you about that 'oh'?"

Santana super nods in total understanment looking at Elliott's arms. "Hey hey, don't worry, I did the same when I was into Marley, keep it like a secret or something." She listen to Matt. Geez, it sounds like he prefers to not talk to Tina for a while, and she was recommending Tina to talk to him. Oops.  "Would you prefer to talk to her or not talk to her?" She asks and squints a little. "Ha ha, oh sweet Matt. I'm a double angel and people tell me lots of stuff because I'm amazing at keeping secrets. If you guys knew half of the stuff I know..." She says just to add to her cool, full of info reputation.

Elliott is silently listening when he realizes another confession just happened "WHAT WAIT WHAT" he looks at Santana, but this time realizes his reaction was exagerated before anyone had to point it out "sorry... erm... what?" he tries to look the least surprised as possible, though ineffectively because he just screamed a second ago. He then pays attetion to Matt again, he was talking about how the situation with Tina was going "Well, if you think you need time, then I think that's the best, you need to take care of your heart for a while, that's understandable, but you can't avoid her forever... I know it will be tough, but the longer you wait to talk again, there is a possibility that it would be much harder if things become too awkward and distant, you know?" he tries to explain "You do care about Tina a lot, and I'm sure she does too, you guys can still have a wonderful friendship and it would be a shame if you guys lost that chance" he says then looks at Santana "You are right, I am surprised people tell you anything" he chuckles and softly pushes her jokingly. Thought he kind of curious to know if she actually knows a lot of things or if she is just bluffing.

Matt jumps again, but he tries to play it off by raising a fist. "To irrational secrets about girls," he says, and goes for a fist bump with Santana. Maybe they should both be more like Elliott, who seems to be pretty surprised at this development. Matt shrugs at Santana's question about Tina, taking a moment to think about it, and listen to Elliott, slowly nodding as he finishes his sentence. "I think I'm up for talking to her now. I just don't know how useful it would've been to pretend nothing happened before, you know? But you're right, I don't want to lose her because of it."  Matt laughs, and holds back on asking what Tina had said about him. She deserves her privacy. "You are pretty good at keeping secrets." As he says that, he's reminded of something, and he turns to Elliott, looking super cool and not at all suspicious. "Hey, uh, totally random thought here... and you can shut me the fuck up if I'm overstepping but... shedim have magic that's considered 'illegal', right?"

"Oh my, you didn't know that either, don't you remember that party I started crying because Marley was kissing some slayer dude?" Santana says and start laughing. Oh, the things that happened. She listens to Elliott talking about romance and friendship and shit. "Yeah, you know it, Hoodoo guy, do whatever." She sticks her tongue to Elliott's comment about people telling her stuff. "It's the trickster magic aura, it has it perks. People think no one will believe me if I say it, soooo, they don't mind telling me a looooot of things." She says, proud. She almost fells out the bed with the soft push but she grabs Elliott to avoid a very humilliant fall. "To irrational secrets about girls!" She fist bump Matt. She know Tina was an expert of pretending nothing happened so she assumed everything would be alright. "Uuuu illegal talk." She says looking at Elliott. She still wanted to ask him about that black smoke thing he did when they stoled Kurt's potted plant thing. "I think I know what you mean, Matt."

Elliott looks at Santana and thinks about it for a moment, oh yeah, that happened, that fucking slayer dude, ugh, he starts thinking about his discussion with Marley and get's a little annoyed "I had no idea those two things had a connection, honestly..." he pats her shoulder grabbing her as she grabs him "Hey, I tell you things because you are my friend" he tries to assure her, that not everyone just dumped their shit on her just because, there were people who actually liked talking to her, like he did "I like when we talk about things, and we get into deep discussions" he smiles. He notices the bond between Santana and Matt, and it makes him smile as well, he didn't know that they were so close, but he was happy they were. He then looks at Matt "It's not about pretending, really, quite the opposite, it's about talking about it and move on together" he smiles to his friend trying to be comforting he touches his arm. Elliott doesn't know how to answer that question that suddenly is thrown his way, but these were Matt and Santana, so he didn't have a reason to hide it "Well, there are things I still can't do, most of my magic is forbidden... blocked... but... there are also things I shouldn't be doing" he tries to explain though it sounds pretty vague "I'm sure you guys may have noticed a new power I've been using lately... erm... I don't think it's pretty legal that I do that but... I'm doing it?" he shrugs with a sort of child like guilty expression on his face.

Matt realizes Santana apparently spends some time crying at parties. At the onsen, at that party where he didn't know it was actually her... When he'd kissed Tina. Hah. And when Marley kissed some dude, it seems like. Probably should keep an eye on her when she starts drinking. "Yeah, same here. I talk to you about shit because I want to. You're a good friend, y'know," he says, as he realizes he doesn't tell her this sort of thing as much as he does other people. "But--knowing shit about people has its perks." Puck would probably agree with that, he thinks bitterly. Looking at Elliott, he says it so simply but it makes so much sense, and Aether, it was probably not that hard. "You're right. It's fucking useless to just coast around and try to ignore shit." He laughs, feeling sort of stupid, but lighter inside his chest. He glances over to Santana when she says she knows what this is about; she probably does. His palms begin to sweat slightly as his heart rate speeds up, and he raises an eyebrow. "You thinking Japan?" Matt asks her. His attention drifts completely over to Elliott, and focuses on certain details. "Blocked. So if you tried it, you wouldn't be able to do it?" Raising a hand, he shakes his head. "Sorry, no, I didn't mean--whether it's legal or not is worth shit in my opinion. As long as you're not fucking people up. And I know you're not. I don't--I haven't seen you do it. You want to talk about it? I--" Matt turns away for a moment, nervous fingers scratching at his neck. "There's some things I can do too. That aren't. You know. Normal. Or legal."

Santana pretends to roll her eyes but smiles about it. "People who aren't my friends tell me things too. I'm just showing off of my endless pool of information, my friend. But I like it too." He listens to Elliott talking about his forbidden magic. "C'mon guys, you know what I think about legality. But yeah, Elliott, I can of saw. What it is exactly?" She asks super curious. She makes finger guns at Matt. "Yeah guys, I know, I know, I'm the best friend anyone could have, you guys are good at it too." She says non challant. "I'm thinking a lot of things, guys c'mon, I saw you both."She nods at Matt's opinion about legality. But she also aproved if you fuck people up in hypocrital situations. She makes a shiny illusion in her room, with neon letters and glitter. 'TIME TO SHOW THE ILLEGAL MAGIC'

Elliott can't avoid laughing, of course, he was in the room with the person who would support illegal magic most in the whole world. He looks at Santana's neon illusion impressed "Wait... you do?" he asks Matt after his new revelation "What's the thing you do?" he asks curiously "I... hmmm... how to explain it? Well, some of my powers are yet to be explored, if I'm honest with you, I don't know what's the extent of them, but I'm learning, I can do... I can do demonic magic if that explains anything" he tries to say "I'm researching books and languages, and... I think I could be able to do magic... just it's not the same as Witches magic... it is in demonic terms... it's complicated" he badly explains "But, what I can do for sure, and that's why I was talking about blocked, it's something I couldn't do before, it happened after the doors, I felt strange... no... stronger?" he says "and I could do this" he dissapears in a cloud of dark smoke and gets to his room, he gets a pen from his desks and appears again covered in the same smoke "I just went to my room and back" he gives the pen to Matt like some sort of proof that he did go somewhere "Obviously, I had to train to really know how to use it properly but... I can teleport now, apparently" he says as it is the most normal thing to discover.

Matt laughs at Santana's illusion, some of the tension ebbing away. Santana knows already, and she doesn't give two fucks about it. And Elliott will probably be alright with it too, if he's using illegal magic already. And, you know, he's a supportive friend. There's that, too. "It's--I call it shadow magic. It drains energy, or uh, I guess life force. Which is what makes it illegal." He listens to Elliott's explanation, only fidgeting a little bit. This is exciting shit. "No, that makes sense. I don't really get it, but I understand it would work differently than for witches. And why it would be restricted," he says, adding an eye roll. "If you're looking for books, I could probably help. There's a Rare Books section at work with a shitton of old, magic, powerful stuff." Matt nods when Ell mentions the door, and he feels his eyes widen when he pops out suddenly, and he looks at Santana for a moment, before he pops back. "Whoa," he says, jaw remaining slightly open as he takes the pen in his hand and looks it over like it's a rare object. "That's fucking badass, Ell." A smile finds it way onto his face, and sits up straighter. "Alright, my turn, I guess." He extends a hand, and taking a moment to focus on all the microscopic and hopefully bug life under Santana's bed, begins to cast. <<Drain>> he says, and his magic circle, blank and dark, appears around his wrist. The energy flows from under the bed onto his shadow, which swirls into a dark, warm mist and transitions into a cool, silky physical form. Matt holds up the pen with his thumb and index finger. <<Grasp and let go>> he casts, and the shadow delicately picks it up, and offers it to Santana.

Santana looks curious. "What kind of demonic magic?" She hopes it's necromancy. "Or it's like... a surprise?" She crosses her arms, thinking. "I got stronger after the doors too... I though it just multiplicated our power, but unblocking mmm...that's different." Elliott dissapears. And cames back. She smiles "Oh my Goooooood I can't believe you hided your cool powers for so long" She was surprised Elliott didn't just left NYADA already. But of course. This is Elliott. She looks at Matt doing his powers and takes the pen from Matt's shadow. "My my thank you. Man, I can't believe I don't have illegal magic per se. Now I'm jealous I can't show off my unexistent illegal powers."

Elliott smiles proud of showing his power and happy to see the reaction his friends have to see it "Well, it depends, there are spells related to summoning, or chanelling powers, there is also hexes, and there is also necromancy" he explains "I'm trying to investigate more about chanelling magic, demons helping demons, it would be nice... I'm not interested in any of the other magic if it is hurtful for others or implies using people..." he tries to explain though it probably sounds foreign for the other two. "I'm sorry I hided it, but I wanted to make sure I could handle it and learn how to use it, also... I can't just go showing it around, I don't know if... someone would try to... I don't know..." He doesn't want to think if there would be any type of consecuences of showing in public that type of power. He observes Matt's magic, and he can't believe what he is seeing when the shadow moves the pen around like just another person would "What... this is the coolest shit" Elliott's eyes are wide open and he shows a big smile. He chuckles at Santana's comment "Well, you kinda do illegal shit all the time anyway"

Matt tilts his head to the side, a gesture he'd picked up on from Sydney. "Channeling magic? What does that mean?" Channeling energy? Beings? Matter? He thinks he understands what Elliott means about using people; he'd been possessed by a trickster demon, after all, and he knows how Ell feels about control. "Yeah, of course. Use that magic for good. And pens," he jokes. Matt shrugs. "Don't be sorry. I know what you mean. Before, uh, you two, and Blaine, everyone who'd ever known about my magic treated it like some sort of really dangerous secret. They told me I would get locked up, questioned, never see the light of day again. So--yeah. You were trying to survive, you know?" A laugh shakes his chest at Elliott's reaction, and he knows he's made the right choice. "My shadow, at your service," he says, mockingly flourishing his hand and doing a little bow. "It's alright, Santana, you have honorary illegal powers."

Santana thinks positivelly about hexes and necromancy. "Oh, you want to summon other demons? Curious. I though being summoned was kind of annoying." She comments. She imagined it was like getting a call on the phone, but they just drag you to the place without any warning. Santana knew she tragically won't see necromancy or hexes done by Elliott, but well. "Don't worry, we all have our hidden ace in the sleve magic thing." Probably that expression makes no sense in english. She pats Elliott on the back. "Yeah, honestly, witches don't have to know shit if they are going to get like, you know." She looks at Matt. So, Blaine knew too. "Geez that's so dramatic. But I can understand the worry" Let's be real, witches did a lot of bullshit. "Aw, thank you guys! That's so sweet!" She said very happy of her illegal uses of magic. "Anyway, let's start getting in contact with the missing bros. What if we start with Go Home Club?" She said, illusioning the face of the guy and his full name, Gerome White. She already looked at all the missing people to memorize their faces and names. She showed her so Matt or Elliott could shake it. "I'll tell him we are looking for him and remind him ways of contact, if there is no call back in any way I guess we can ask that guy who found people if he had like, adn stuff. But we will know for sure they are alive somewhere."

Elliott shakes his head "No, no, it's not summoning, it's like asking for a favor, like... they lend me their powers for a moment" he explains,  though he avoids explaining everything has a prize and that to cast any demonic magic you always have to do a sacrifice of blood, but he needed to figure that out yet, so it wasn't like he could explain much anyway.  Elliott chuckles after Matt comment "and pens, of course" he repeats laughing and bowing to him too "Thank you, kind sir" he smiles to both of them as he puts a hand on Santana's shoulder "Well, I think we don't have to worry about that among us, we all can trust each other in that sense, our powers are secret with each other" he says confidently, sure that none of them would ever betray his trust because of The Power of Friendship. "Alrighy, yes, let's do this" he extends his hand for the first deal and shakes Santana's.

Matt nods slowly, impressed. "Neat," he says, as he wonders what sort of powers other demons have--he's only experienced fireballs, possession, and teleportation. There must be so much more out there. "Yeah," Matt says to Elliott, feeling more comfortable in his magic than he's--ever been, probably. "There's no worry of that kind here," he says, determined and sure. He's still laughing at Elliott's bow and Santana's reaction to them praising her illegality, when Santana brings up the reason they're here; the deals. The smile fades, and he clears his throat as she illusions one of the frat bros. This will tell them if he's dead or alive. He inadvertently holds his breath.

Santana raises her eyebrow. "So like, if I call my 'grandpa' over the phone and ask him to do a deal agaisnt ab enemy for me" She nodded in understanding. Yes, they could trust each other. In that sense. Elliott shakes her hand and... no fire appears. "Oh." She says.  "Well. I can't contact him. That doesn't mean it's 100% sure he is dead" Just a 99%. "Let's try Corn on the Cob" She says, illusioning Corbin Myers face. Keep going instead of stopping to think about death.

Elliott raises and eyebrow confused, Santana seems to be chill about it, he wonders if she is right, maybe this particular person was harder to find he wants to think. "Okay, yes sure..." he says shaking her hand to find the next guy. The fire doesn't appear "What... hmmm maybe I'm doing it wrong?" he doesn't want to admit that there is a possiblity those two guys are dead "Matt, can you try next?" he asks his friend.

Matt furrows his eyebrows, stomach sinking each time the fire doesn't show up. "I think you're doing it right, Ell," he says, disappointed and sad. "But I'll try." He shakes Santana's hand, trying to find Tyler FuckusFarkus. But no fire appears. And they try Baran Clements. No fire. And as much as Santana says it doesn't mean they're gone with 100% certainty, Matt is pretty sure they are dead, and he really doesn't want to tell Finn.

Santana is not good at dealing with Death. She used to react to it like a normal person, but when you see so many fake deaths and people pretending to be death to then come back and ask you for money, it kind of lost it effects. It feel unreal, like a joke. But she knows it's real, and she doesn't know how to act like a sensible person. "Well, they... are probably... not alive. Like, it's not 100% sure." She doesn't know any way of cancelling a deal if you know the person. "Oh, fuck..." She lets silence go for a while. "Should we tell people? Like, I think they should know, but also I don't think they would believe me. I mean, I would also not believe it just because I didn't want it to be true"

Elliott is very quiet for a while. He thinks this is terrible, and he wonders if there is a nice way to tell that to anyone. "I... I don't know... it's not like we have proof but... we should try, or at least, tell our friends... I think they deserve to know..." he thinks about a particular one, how Finn would feel about this, that would be the hardest person to tell.

Matt sighs, rubbing his neck with one hand. "Telling the media wouldn't work. They already reported on it as a hoax. They won't believe us." But that wasn't even the difficult part. "But as much as they won't want to believe it, Ell's right, we should tell our friends," he says, shoulders dropping as sadness seeps in. "We should tell Finn, at the very least. Uncertainty sucks."

[lost-in-the-in-between]

ooh #19 for any DEH ship, please!

So hey, wow. This is two months late. I have no excuse at all, so I’ll just apologize profusely. I’m so sorry!

Anyway, here’s a lof of little Kleinsen for you. Enjoy!

19.  “Then come here and make me.”

Anyone that knew Evan Hansen knew that he wasn’t a fan of parties. They were too loud and too crowded and he always felt like he was in someone’s way. He never knew who to talk to or what to do with his hands; he didn’t even really like to drink that much due to the nasty headaches and dry mouth he was left with the next day. Needless to say, Evan was not a frequent party-goer.

That hadn’t stopped Jared from inviting him to different social gatherings, though. Ever since they had started college, Jared had been insistent that they both needed to branch out, meet new people, and behave as recklessly and irresponsibly as adults experiencing their first taste of freedom ought to. Evan did not share his feelings, but that didn’t always matter to Jared.

Tonight, for example, Jared had somehow convinced Evan to go to some digital media major’s party off campus. While Evan was worried about the event, at least it wasn’t a frat party or anything that would get too out of hand. Jared had assured him that it would just be about twenty or so kids from the department sitting around, playing video games and drinking cheap liquor and beer. That sort of sounded like what he and Jared did most Saturday nights anyway, so he had finally relented and agreed.

Once they had arrived, though, things seemed a little crazier than Jared had been expecting. Music could be heard as they approached and there were already a few couples hanging around outside, flirting or kissing near cars or on the porch. Evan shot Jared a confused look, but Jared pointedly ignored it as he held the door open for Evan.

The music was even louder inside. There had to be at least twenty people in the living room alone, with even more spilling out of the kitchen and into the hallways. Evan could feel his chest tighten at the sight, and he subconsciously began playing with the hem of the button-up Jared had convinced him to wear.

“You said － you said that there wouldn’t be a lot of people,” He hissed at Jared, already terrified of a night spent in a small space with a large number of drunk college kids. Someone brushed up against him, trying to fit into the wild mess of people dancing in the living room. Evan jerked away, his shoulders curving inwards and his head ducking down. The palms of his hands were already sweating and shaking, but Evan couldn’t make himself let go of his shirt long enough to try and wipe them on his pants.

“I really didn’t think it would be this bad,” Jared admitted finally, stepping closer to Evan. “We can leave if you want.”

No, no, no. If they left, then Jared would be mad at Evan because Evan was being a baby and Jared wanted to have fun with his friends, but Evan had to go and freak out because he couldn’t just enjoy a party like everyone else. Jared would pretend like everything was okay, but he’d be really upset about it and would probably try and figure out how to stop being Evan’s friend without it being weird because their moms were still friends, and they were roommates. Jared would resent him for forever and Evan would regret leaving in the first place and-

“Seriously, come on. Let’s go,” One of Jared’s hand was on his back, trying to guide him back to the door. Shaking his head rapidly, Evan pulled away from Jared and took a few deep breaths. He could do this. He could pull it together for a few hours while Jared had fun because Jared deserved to have fun.

“No. I want to stay.”

Jared stared at him skeptically, his blue eyes seeming brighter thanks to the soft yellow string lights hanging through the house. Stubbornly, Evan looked back at him, his hands still methodically rolling the hem of his shirt between his fingers.

“You’re going to wrinkle that,” Jared glanced down, pulling Evan’s hands away from his shirt. Sure enough, the bottom was a wrinkled mess. Great, now he looked like a slob and felt sick. But if Jared was happy, that was all that mattered.

“Um, let’s － let’s get a drink,” Evan jerked his hands back, putting them in the pockets of his khakis. He started for the kitchen, awkwardly working his way through the throng of people as Jared followed closely behind.

The kitchen was significantly less crowded. Bottles of liquor were scattered around the counters, with both full and empty cups littering the rest of the available space. There was even a bowl of some sort of punch － probably a mixture of all of the alcohol at the party. Evan wrinkled his nose at it, grabbing one of the two liters of Coke people had been using as mixers instead of taking a chance on the incredibly strong drink. Jared walked around the island towards the whiskey, grabbing a plastic cup for himself.

“Want some?” Jared asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Evan shook his head, filling his red cup with Coke. Shrugging, Jared poured a bit of the rich, golden brown alcohol into his cup, taking a quick sip as he glanced back at Evan.

“Thanks for coming,” Jared said awkwardly after a beat. After taking a swig of Coke, Evan sat his cup down on the counter, nodding his head.

“Um, yeah. Thanks for, uh, asking.”

“Yo, Kleinman! Glad you could make it, buddy!” The door swung open and an older guy shoved past Evan to ruffle Jared’s hair. Smiling widely, Jared shoved his hand away and pulled the guy into a hug.

“Kev! Hey!” The guy patted his back before the both pulled away. The guy － Kevin － threw an arm around Jared’s shoulders. “Of course, man! Glad to be here.” Evan recognized Jared’s smile right away. It was the same completely fake grin he’d always worn in high school. Jared smiled like that when he wanted someone to like him or when he wanted to fit in. The expression always made Evan’s chest hurt a bit.

“Who’s this? Your date for the evening?” The guy asked, finally looking at Evan. His tone was sarcastic, and instantly Evan felt on edge. Now came the part where Jared made fun of him with this hipster tool. Evan would have to act like their jokes were funny and didn’t bother him even though they really, really did and kind of made him want to go home and scream into a pillow for an hour.

“This is Evan, my friend from back home,” Jared replied, retaining his cool-guy persona. Kevin only nodded, turning back to face Jared.

“Dude, you’ve got to come play games with us. We’re fucking murdering Michael’s team. They’re getting so pissed off, it’s hilarious. One of them started crying! Come on, man,” He rambled, grabbing Jared’s arm and pulling him out of the kitchen. Jared followed behind, shooting an unreadable look over his shoulder at Evan.

“Ugh, that guy’s such an asshole,” came a voice from the patio door. Evan jumped slightly, not having heard anyone else enter the small room. “Uh, sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Turning around, Evan finally noticed the tall, attractive guy leaning against the doorway. He wore a leather jacket and his messy hair stood up in a very carefree, seemingly natural way that Evan suspected had actually taken him at least fifteen minutes to perfect. Evan felt his mouth go a little bit dry.

“But seriously, that guy’s an idiot. I have no idea how he even got into college. His IQ is lower than his standards, which is saying something.”

Evan laughed awkwardly, reaching for his drink to return some moisture to his mouth. His hands felt clammy and he was terrified his drink would slip out of his hand.

“So, you’re not a digital media major, are you?”

“M-Me? Uh, no? Um, no. I’m not. I’m a, um, environmental science major?” He cursed his own awkwardness, but thankfully, the guy didn’t seem to mind so much. He smirked, striding forward to pour himself a drink.

“Environmental science? Wow. You must be pretty smart, then.”

“Um, I mean, I guess? I don’t know. I study. A lot? I spend, um, most of my time inthelibrary.”

Why did he say that? Now the guy would think he was a total dork. Not that Evan wasn’t a total dork － he just really didn’t want this guy to think he was for some reason.

“That’s cute. Intelligence is a pretty sexy quality.”

Oh my god, no. This was not happening. People just didn’t flirt with Evan. His face felt warm all over and he was pretty sure he was going to pass out. He laughed a little too loudly, spinning around to put his drink down on the counter. By the time he turned back to face the handsome, mysterious stranger, the man was much closer. In fact, he was right in front of Evan, only a few inches away from him.

“Hi,” He smiled, making Evan’s stomach flip. He wasn’t used to this much attention and honestly, it was kind of upsetting. The boy was being so forward; not necessarily creepy, but definitely intimidating.

“Evan, I －” The kitchen door swung open again, revealing Jared Kleinman. The short boy took a second to process what he was seeing, and once he had come to some sort of conclusion, his hands clenched slightly and a scowl appearing on his face.

“Oh, hey Jared,” The attractive stranger greeted, taking a small step away from Evan. “Uh, I guess I should probably go, but could I maybe get your number?” He asked, grinning down at Evan.

“No, you can’t,” Jared responded before Evan could even open his mouth. Rolling his eyes, the stranger backed away and moved past Jared to exit the kitchen.

Evan stared at the island in front of him, his eyes not moving from the place the man had stood. Had that really just happened? Had he actually just been hit on by a really cute stranger at a party? Evan’s head swam with thoughts of the guy and his cute hair and jacket. Did he own a motorcycle? He probably did, he seemed like the type. He seemed like he probably had tattoos too, and he probably smoked and drank scotch and read Hemingway and－

“What a douchebag. Jesus.”

Evan snapped back into focus, turning to look at Jared. He blinked, his face shifting to confusion.

“…What?”

“That guy. He’s a douchebag? Guys like him are the worst,” Jared said slowly, as if explaining something complicated to a child. Frowning, Evan bit his lip. He didn’t like being talked down to. Sometimes his social anxiety made it difficult to read people well, but Jared didn’t have to treat him like an idiot.

“What do you mean? ‘Guys like him?’”

Sighing deeply, he crossed his arms. Jared looked at Evan for a second, expecting him to understand something that clearly wasn’t obvious to Evan. When it became apparent that Evan still didn’t get it, Jared rolled his eyes.

“Guys like him. Guys that hit on desperate, drunk freshman at parties.”

Evan felt his face flush, his mouth falling open and his eyes widening. A second later, Jared seemed to realize what he had said and scrambled to correct himself.

“No, I didn’t mean- Evan, you’re not a drunk freshman. Shit, you know that wasn’t what I meant. I mean－”

“That I’m desperate?” Evan asked, his voice quiet. It was taking everything in him not to burst into tears. No, he hadn’t really ever dated anyone and had only kissed two people in his life, but it wasn’t like he was searching for love or anything. Evan knew he wasn’t really appealing; he was a socially anxious, depressed mess who rarely left his dorm room. Not to mention the fact that his skin was sort of oily and prone to acne even now, and his fair was usually a frizzy mess. His eyes were too big and his lips were uneven.

But he wasn’t throwing himself at people, hoping and praying someone would date him. Did he come across that way? Did Jared really think that Evan was that hopeless?

“No! It’s just…you’re naive, you know? He was trying to take advantage of that,” Jared said, stepping closer. Evan’s face shifted into a frown, his eyes glaring at Jared.

“Oh, so the only possible reason he was hitting on me was because I’m naive? It couldn’t possibly be that he thought I was attractive, because why would he?” The tears were beginning to leak out now, his face red and blotchy in anger. Jared stepped even closer, scowling.

“That’s not what I meant! That guy was just sleazy and you were in here all alone, drinking and acting all innocent－”

“Because you left me in here!” Evan interjected. Jared ignored him.

“Obviously the guy just thought you wouldn’t be a challenge.”

“Sometimes I wish you would just shut up,” Evan said without thinking. As soon as he realized what he had said, he covered his eyes, shaking his head.

“No, no! I mean, I mean…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Jared.” It was quiet for a second. This was the part where Jared yelled at him and called him a loser. Now Jared would shove him away and never look back. Cautiously, Evan glanced at Jared through the space between his fingers, expecting the worst.

Instead, he saw Jared squaring his shoulders, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

“Then come here and make me.”

Mouth twisting into a confused frown, Evan’s hands dropping back by his sides. He stared at Jared in confusion. He wasn’t sure what the other boy meant by that. Did he－ did he want Evan to punch him? To fight him to get him to be quiet? Evan would never do that. He didn’t like violence as a general rule, and hated the idea of hurting anyone for any reason. But hurting Jared? The thought of that filled him with complete dread. Evan never, ever wanted to hurt Jared.

After a few long, interrupted seconds of staring, Jared shook his head and turned around.

“Forget it. Sorry, um. Just pretend this didn’t happen or whatever.”

What did that mean? Jared wanted Evan to ignore his weird request to punch him, or he wanted Evan to just forget that they had ever been friends in the first place? Evan could feel his hands shake slightly as he tried to work out what Jared meant.

Disappointment had flashed across Jared’s face in the few seconds before he had told Evan to forget it. He wasn’t － no. Jared didn’t like him like that. Did he? Was that why he had freaked out when he saw the other guy in Evan’s personal space?

Why did that thought make Evan giddy?

Without thinking any further on the subject, Evan grabbed Jared’s hand.

“Did you…were you jealous?” He asked, biting his lip. Jared glanced down at their hands, but Evan didn’t pull away. Turning back around, Jared avoided Evan’s gaze and said nothing.

“Does that mean that you － do you like me?”

Slowly, Jared’s face heated up. His shoulders hunched over and he rolled his eyes.

“I have for the past three years. Thanks for finally noticing.”

Without hesitation, Evan leaned forward and pulled Jared to him with the hand that still held Jared’s. He pressed his lips against Jared’s, kissing him clumsily. Their height difference wasn’t as awkward as Evan had imagined it to be － he only had to tilt his head down a bit to reach Jared. Still, Evan’s nose kept bumping against Jared’s and his lips were chapped from biting them so much, but Jared’s were smooth and tasted a bit like the whiskey he had been drinking.

It took a second for Evan to realize that Jared wasn’t responding at all.

Evan pulled away, his chest tightening. Maybe Jared had been kidding. Maybe he had been making a joke and he didn’t like Evan like that and then Evan hadn’t understood Jared’s sarcasm and now Jared was freaking out because of course he didn’t really like Evan. Stumbling backward, Evan’s back hitting the edge of the stove as he hid his face in his hands.

They were wrenched away, replaced by Jared’s lips on his. Pushing him back against the stove, Jared’s hands gripped Evan’s hips as his lips slid over Evan’s. Evan responded quickly, his arms winding around Jared’s neck and pulling him closer, which proved to be slightly problematic.

“Ow,” Evan hissed as Jared’s glasses smashed against his nose.

“Shit, sorry,” Jared stepped back slightly, one hand moving to Evan’s face as he rubbed at the small red spot left on his nose. His eyes slowly met Evan’s, and they both froze.

“Um, I guess that means you like me too?”

Evan nodded, still blushing from their kiss. Grinning, Jared let out a sigh of relief.

“Do you want to go out this weekend?” He asked, his thumb rubbing circles on Evan’s nose.

“Yes. But, um, it’s actually not that late tonight…do you maybe want to walk to that diner near our dorm?”

Jared stepped back, intertwining their fingers and resting his forehead against Evan’s.

“Absolutely.”