#and far right is protagonist/story movers ™

[whumpacabra]

ID: A character alignment chart titled, “You Are Responsible For Your Own Happiness” Blorbo Alignment Chart.

Alignments, template, and character explanations under the cut.

My life is a living hell - and I have nobody to blame but myself: Harrison.

That man has so much survivor’s guilt it’s a little funny. It’s funnier when he finds out it’s not actually all his fault but he REALLY wants it to be all his fault so he could theoretically fix everything himself. But he can’t. Because his life is a living hell.

My life is a living hell - and God will regret letting me live: Sarah.

Technically her life being a living hell IS all her fault, but I interpreted this chart as how the characters see themselves. And Sarah can excuse being a bootlicker and killing for the CIA but she draws the line at trying to manipulate her minority status to make her kill for the CIA. That woman has been doing DIY estrogen before it was cool; she does not need Big Brother to help her out. She needs them to burn to the ground and she has the matches.

My life is a living hell - and I’m making that everyone else’s problem: Anders.

We get it you were an openly gay man working at the NSA in the late 90s. Psychologically torturing prisoners of the state will not make your coworkers nicer but it will apparently help you meet your future husband. [minor spoilers. I guess.]

I have no idea how I got here, even less where I’m going - and I have nobody to blame but myself: Wolf/East.

The amnesia makes this one a little too easy but tbh that’s how he goes through life. ‘Guess I’m here now’ ‘oh we’re doing this now’ ‘that’s new but I’m not gonna say anything’ kinda guy. Except his trauma and guilt complex makes him believe he deserves everything that happens as some sort of karmic retribution for sins he can’t remember.

I have no idea how I got here, even less where I’m going - and God will regret letting me live.

Like Wolf, Ghost takes a very ‘roll with the punches’ approach to life. Whatever happens, happens. But he’s gonna kill whoever made shit happen, because contrary to popular appearances Ghost just wants to chill and go fishing.

(God does not in fact let him live.)

I have no idea how I got here, even less where I’m going - and I’m making that everyone else’s problem: RJ.

They are truly part of the Ghost dynasty of idgaf’ing through life. Except they are gonna be a huge Bitch about it and incidentally involve people they really didn’t want involved in all their bullshit.

I’m have a GREAT time - and I have nobody to blame but myself: Smith.

This man has the self awareness of a toddler and the sadistic appetite of a bad dom who gets blacklisted from every BDSM group in the county. Give him a bit of power over someone else and he’ll forget you, his boss, even exist. Which does not go well for him, but until then, he’s having a great time and thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread.

I’m have a GREAT time - and God will regret letting me live: Casey.

Casey is the life of the party and he doesn’t know it. His childhood brushes with death have made him reckless and hedonistic, but you can’t really blame him. At least he’s having fun, in a spiteful, middle finger to the sky way.

I’m having a GREAT time - and I’m making that everyone else’s problem: Liza.

Hedonism? Check. Disregard for the safety and emotions of others? Check. Deadbeat mom status? Check. She makes bad choices that don’t even benefit her just because she can. This senior citizen is tearing shit up at the club with people a third her age and she will face no consequences for her behavior because I support women’s wrongs.