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[doberbutts]

Like the whole "DOOM runs on anything" meme is funny sure but technically you can run any program on any machine that has the processor, memory, and storage space for it. You may need to tweak some thing here and there to get it fully operational but really that's mostly what it hinges on.

I turned my windows netbook into a Debian server and then turned *that* into cloud-based storage I could dump and share and run any files I wanted to off my internet connection when I was in college by tying an external hard drive to it using an always-on connection. I still technically have the hard drive but I sold the netbook a long time ago. I also turned my MacBook from college into an always-on minecraft server for my college friends before Microsoft decided to give us actual multi-player support.

I also turned my MacBook into a windows OS emulator when I wanted to game because I got annoyed that Mac ports are usually poopoobad quality. So I would turn my MacBook on and then load up my windows os inside of the Mac os and then actually load the game.

Like yeah I went to school for programming but I actually learned how to do most of that as a kid because my dad had a computer that had no GUI, it was all command prompt and DOS. There are times when my current windows computers are annoying me because they won't do the thing I told them to do so I load up dos and then effectively go "I wasn't asking" at it.

[renegadesepiida]

From February 3 until February 11 another King of the Hammers race week made Johnson Valley an enormous cloud of dust. I’d heard about the craziness of this event since I arrived in the Southern California desert five months ago. That was the time of innocence, thinking there was no possible way our country would take the turn that it has, and out here I was definitely in the minority.

While I don’t want to get too wrapped up in politics, it does have an influence on the world we live in and of course how people see each other. It is a shame, which is why I prefer to keep traveling, to experience every culture, and to understand it with respect. I looked at this event as a perfect way to do just that, understand and respect why these people feel this way.

The first thing I should do is to explain what King of the Hammers is. How my boss explained it to me and just so everyone knows these are the words coming out of a government park institution leader whose family all grew up in this area (so don’t hate me if you’re offended by the next sentence). “It’s a shit-ton of drunk rednecks who come out here with all their heavy machinery to tear up the desert.” Honestly, after hearing that I was way more terrified of participating than I was at the actual event. I expected super rowdy drunk off their ass spectators and racers on motorcycles, quads, and every other tricked out ATVs (all-terrain vehicles) you could possibly think of. There were plenty of tricked out vehicles, which were soooooo awesome to watch. I originally thought the vast majority of people were extremely kind and were just there for fun. In fact, there weren’t people just from that area, but all over the country and even the world. It was truly an international event with people driving from Canada, flying from England, Australia, and even China (along with many others).

I couldn’t believe some of these rigs, they cost upwards of hundreds of thousands of dollars, crazy. I could never save up money for that, it’s the racers business, and if this event is anything to go by, business was good.

BOOTH DUTY

For my part, I was working with Art, the Mojave Desert Park Ranger (the only one), to educate the public on the native flora and fauna out in the desert and show them that they should protect it. A lot of the education was geared towards kids, but the teens and adults also got involved with questions and wanting to hold the animals Art brought. All the animals were rescues, or in the case of the baby desert tortoise, born and raised in captivity.

In the case of the desert tortoise, which is an endangered species, we told the people that, should they want a pet tortoise, to adopt one from a shelter. When they are taken out of the wild and interact with humans they develop a respiratory condition that can cause them to die around 15, the female breeding age, and will be passed to their offspring. Therefore, none of them can ever be returned to the wild. And this is especially sad because they can normally live for over a hundred years, and could be passed down through human generations. But they might be picked up, exposed and after a few years the people who took them get tired of looking after them and leave them back out in the desert where, soon enough, they die.

BTW: It’s actually illegal to take them, even really to interact with tortoises at all (except if they are on a road, then you can pick them up, keeping them low to the ground, and move them off in the direct they were originally going.) Also if you see any broken shells DO NOT COLLECT, scientists need to be able to see that that area is a tortoise habitat, otherwise people may try to build on it, displacing many more animals.

PSA… Anyways…

We also passed out maps of much of the land for free, don’t want anyone to get lost, and then it would also help them know where and where not to ride their ATVs. Everyone was extremely grateful for all of this information, and they were happy that the BLM (Bureau of Land Management – who I work for along with ACE – American Conservation Experience) was out getting involved with the public. A government branch that actually cares about the environment and the people – crazy!

Almost everyone who came by our booth really opened up to us: telling us where they are from, what they like to do for fun, and how they feel about the entire environment we were currently in. It’s interesting to see how people will act when you get them talking.

Along with the tortoise we also had a dead, stuffed raven, to explain how they eat the baby tortoises (first pecking through the soft underbelly of the shell, and then one they develop harder shells pick them up, bring them to telephone wires and then drop the tortoises on the rocks to break them – smart animals). Other than the tortoise, the living animals were as follows:

A false widow – looks like a black widow but not venomous and very common.

A desert hairy scorpion – also big (ladies are larger and almost white – glow in the dark with a black light, males are smaller and darker) and a little venomous, but not dangerous unless you’re allergic, like bees. And also very common here, shake out your shoes and jackets, really anything you left on the ground while camping.

A chuckwalla – lizard who thrives in 90+ temperature, with loose skin flaps on its sides so when it runs between rocks it can blow itself up like a balloon to keep predators from yanking it out and the detachable tail.

A California king snake – black and white (sometimes brown or red too, depending on the region) snake who eats all the other animals (including rattlesnakes) so the top predator that is nice to people and keeps us all safe and happy.

The desert may seem empty, but it’s sooooo not.

I spent most of the time with a baby northern alligator lizard, that Art saved to feed to his king snake, who loved my body heat and crawled up my sleeves and hung out under my shirt collar for hours on end. I named it Geoffery Carlile, and didn’t change it when I found out it was female; the name was too good. So now I have a pet/buddy.

OTHER SHIT

We did have a couple less than sober people come by, especially because the vast majority of adult (young to old) were carrying around cans of beer in cozies. But with thousands of people passing over the week there was only one man (probably in his late 50’s or 60’s) who passed celebrating Trump’s idea of shutting down the BLM, and all the ideas he had for tearing down all the governmental structures. What that man probably didn’t know is that, without the BLM Johnson Valley would be taken over by the military and, thus, they could never access it, which would mean no more off-roading. So, YOU’RE WELCOME.

Also btw, that is not me being ok with how much of the land and habitats the off-roaders are messing up with all this crazy behavior. Just trying to appeal to what they care about.

  TIME TO ESCAPE

Because standing/sitting in a booth all day is boring as shit, there were times when I would take a walk to the bathroom and take a longer way back, passing the other stalls and the stages. Almost none of the vendors were selling their products because, as I later learned, the man who puts this on every year charges through the nose for placement, and makes the vendor give him a percentage of whatever they sell. By the end, he’s basically pocketing around a million dollars a year.

But, to the casual fan, this stuff doesn’t have too much of an effect. The booths instead have people sign up through email, which gives them an opportunity to win a $500 credit with their company, spin a wheel, and get free little prizes (like hats, cozies, stickers, etc.). While $500 might sound like a decent amount, most of the products cost over a thousand dollars, so good if you are in the market for stuff like what they sell, but worthless if not.

On Thursday, the day before the final 200-mile car race, one of the fire station volunteers (who also volunteers for the BLM) offered to help me escape the monotony of the booth for a while. I took him up on the offer, we climbed into his jeep and showed me two of the coolest parts of the racetrack: chocolate thunder and the waterfall.

Since I am more comfortable in heels, rather than flat shoes (completely serious) I wore my high heeled boots every day, this made it more impressive (?) to onlookers when I jumped out of the jeep at chocolate thunder and walked through the steep sand hill and over the rocks one handed. The lizard was hanging out in my sleeve still and I didn’t want her shaken up too much. When we arrived we could see that one of the customized jeeps had flipped and the crew was trying to set it right so they could finish the race. The canyon was very steep and rocky and we watched long enough for me to take several pictures and videos of the jeep being righted and passed a couple times.

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The second location was “the waterfall” which had a straight three feet rock that both cars and motorbikes had to navigate both up and down, depending on the race direction. I only got to see the cars going down, but that was pretty awesome. Took some pictures and more videos (btw they have cameras along the track and in helicopters overhead so they can film and live stream the entire race) and my favorite was when one car drove through it like it was nothing, almost on the tail of another car and then after getting through the rocky bit slammed on the gas speeding up on the sand. Vroom Vroom motherfucker

            Watching the whole race filled me with adrenaline; I just wanted to jump on a bike or into a car and speed over all obstacles. Wouldn’t even think twice, as long as the owner wouldn’t care if I messed up the vehicle… no fear. Didn’t get to, though.

Overall, the experience was generally enjoyable and I’m glad I got to talk to groups of people that I would normally clash with. And, as it is Valentine’s Day I wish love and understanding to all people of the world, wouldn’t that be great?

  Happy Valentine’s Day and be safe on all your adventures.

Long Live the Hammer King From February 3 until February 11 another King of the Hammers race week made Johnson Valley…