#and guys jj is stupid as fuck he’d give them all his card details his adress and more without thinking twice 😭😭😭

[shellxrls]

hear me out but i swear jj maybank wld be the no.1 temu warrior 😭😭.

“babe, babe, this only what — 90 cents, 90 cents!”

and you’re just there like 🧍🏽‍♀️.

”jayj they have tons of lawsuits against them sweetheart, maybe it’s better to invest your money elsewhere?” for fear of him getting broker than he already is with the way he seems so eager to spend.

[everybodyscupoftea]

santa doesn’t squat

pike jj x reader 

christmas tree farm shenanigans

(warnings: cursing, zero editing even a little)

“Guys,” Cody pulled a piece of paper out of his booksack, “I found the coolest thing.”

You glanced up from your ethics book, eyebrows raised, “What’s that?”

“Christmas tree farm, but for families!”

JJ sat up where he had slumped down on his desk, “Bro, we can’t get a tree.”

“No, I know. It’s stupid, they should let us get one for the house, but whatever.”

You snapped to get his attention, “Focus up, bud. I got a test tomorrow, when do you wanna go to this?”

“The weekend after finals. I just don’t want anyone to go home before we get to go.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” JJ hummed, “so I’m in.”

“Same,” you added.

Cody beamed, “Sweet, I can’t wait! Going to find Tyler, see you guys.”

-

Finals week came and went, and you kind of forgot about the whole Christmas tree farm thing. Until you and JJ woke up early Saturday morning to a loud banging on your apartment door. Jolting upright, you looked around wildly, trying to figure out what was wrong.

JJ was a little slower, but once he processed, got out of bed and walked slowly to the door, grabbing your baseball bat on the way. You watched, peeking out your room cautiously, as he looked through the peephole.

He relaxed and yanked the door open, “What the fuck, asshole?”

Cody’s voice responded, “Rise and shine, friends, we’re getting breakfast before the Christmas tree farm.”

Your shoulders sagged with relief, and you fully stepped out of your room, “You couldn’t have, I don’t know, called us?”

He shrugged, “Nah, this was way more effective. Now, I’m going to sit on the couch until you two are ready to go.” Cody shoved his way past JJ and plopped down, reaching for your TV remote, “Hurry up, folks. Breakfast reservation in 45 minutes.”

JJ rolled his eyes and trudged to your bathroom, and you turned back to your room to start getting dressed.

Much to Cody’s happiness, the two of you were ready in about 20 minutes. He sighed in relief, “Thank god, Tyler bet we’d be late, so I should be winning $20 thanks to you guys.”

You and JJ chose to not respond as you followed Cody out of the apartment to his car. Cody put on his Christmas playlist as soon as he cranked up the car and pulled out of the parking lot, headed toward the breakfast place you and JJ frequently went on Sunday mornings.

“Holy shit,” JJ muttered, “this place is packed on Saturdays.”

“Hence the reservation,” Cody sassed.

“Bitch,” JJ started.

You stepped in between them, “Boys, please. Cody, don’t antagonize JJ before he’s had coffee. JJ don’t let Cody get to you, you know he’s a morning person.”

“It’s unnatural,” JJ muttered, but listened to you anyway.

Tyler was already inside at a booth and waved when the three of you walked in. He had three mugs of coffee on the table, and JJ slid in opposite of him, immediately reaching for it. Cody rolled his eyes, “Dramatic.”

“Let me drink it in peace or I’ll bully you all day.”

“Bully me? What are we, in high school?”

“I’ll whack you so hard you’ll go back in time.”

You sighed, “Pack it up Biff, and drink your fucking coffee.”

“I’m choosing to not try and figure out what you’re referencing,” JJ sniffed.

“It’s Back to the Future,” Tyler volunteered, and you nodded.

Just like normal, they were quick to get you in and out, much to Cody’s happiness. You’d never seen him so excited about something in months, which you were a bit curious about. Eventually, after he had to stop for the third time to let the rest of you catch up, you asked, “What’s got you so excited, bud?”

“I haven’t done anything like this since I left Michigan, haven’t even thought to look really, but I saw the flier in Dunkin so I grabbed it.”

“Let’s do it then,” JJ told him, squeezing his shoulder.

-

It was busy as fuck, which to be fair, should’ve been expected since it was early on a Saturday. Cody grabbed you by the hand, “Let’s go do ornaments.”

The ornaments station was clearly for children and not four, exhausted college seniors, but the lady in charge didn’t give a fuck and let you all sit down. 

“Have crayons always been this small?” Tyler mused, picking through them to find the color he wanted for his reindeer. 

“You trying to flex big hands?” JJ asked, more focused on his angel than Tyler’s answer.

Tyler smirked, “Let’s just say I’m having a harder time than you are with the crayons.”

You swooned, “Oversized hands? Why am I with JJ?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart. I made my moves.”

JJ paused, “You leaving me?”

“No,” you sighed, “I’m just a little too attached.”

Cody focused on coloring his Christmas tree. He was going into great detail, adding ornaments and lights. His tongue was sticking out the corner of his mouth as he colored in the star on top, and you had to take a picture.

He pouted when you all finished, “I don’t have a bag and now we have to carry these.”

“Let me put them in my pocket,” Tyler offered.

“They’ll bend.”

“They might rip or get dirty if I don’t.”

With a sigh, he relented, “Fine. But let’s go to the petting zoo next.”

“Petting zoo?” you asked incredulously, looking around.

“They have reindeers and shit.”

Sure enough, a small petting zoo was located a little further in with a chair for Santa nearby. Cody looked at the three of you, standing by one of the reindeer, “So, guys. What if we took a picture with Santa.”

“We definitely should,” JJ agreed immediately.

“You gonna tell him you’ve been a good boy?” Tyler asked.

Cody winked, “Maaaybe.”

And clearly, the four of you had been talking too loudly, because Santa was staring. You shoved Cody in his direction, “Go sit on his lap.”

The guy shook his head, “Sorry my guy, too big for my lap.”

JJ answered, “Make sure you’re hitting legs at the gym too, Santa.”

He squinted at JJ, “Coming from you huh?”

You snorted, hiding your laugh with a cough before speaking, “Come on, guys, we gotta get a picture and keep moving.”

A lady dressed as an elf who looked entirely too happy to be dealing with so many people took your phone eagerly to take a picture. Once Cody was happy with it, you moved on, ready to leave.

“Wait,” Cody hesitated, “can we at least go look at the trees?”

Tyler narrowed his eyes, “Dude, we can’t buy one.”

“I know,” he sighed, “but I want to look.”

You interrupted before anyone else could answer, “Let’s go look at a few rows.”

-

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Cody, we literally can’t.”

“But it’s so small and cute, look at it!”

“Cody,” you reasoned, “who is going to water it?”

“Me!”

“You literally won’t,” Tyler told him, “I’ll be watering it within a week.”

“I’m a successful plant mom.”

“Yeah, small plants.”

“This is technically small.”

JJ rolled his eyes, “Smaller than a normal tree but not small.”

You thought back to the apron you’d picked out for Cody’s gift and sighed, “You know what, let’s just get it.”

“What?” JJ yelped, turning to face you, betrayed.

“I know, I know. But he needs it.”

Tyler’s jaw dropped, “He so doesn’t.”

“Okay,” Cody rubbed his hands together, “let’s fucking go.”

He took the axe he’d grabbed from one of the workers and started working on the trunk of the small tree. It didn’t take more than a few hacks before it fell into Tyler’s open arms.

“I’m not fucking carrying it. Cody come get your shit.”

You laughed, “You got a tree stand at home?”

Cody scoffed, “Who do you think I am? Of course I have a tree stand.”

“What about ornaments?”

He paused, “I have lights, not sure about ornaments.”

Tyler patted his pocket, “You have at least four.”

“And that’s all I need.”

Cody and JJ went to the car with the tree while you and Tyler stayed behind to pay and get any last minute instructions. The lady taking payments smiled at Tyler’s muttered, “I can’t believe we’re letting him get a tree.”

“He had a rough semester, we’ll give it to him.”

“I had a rough semester, what do I get?”

If we go to a basketball game, will you chill?”

Tyler paused, “Actually yes.”

“Okay fine, get tickets and we’ll go.”

“Bet!” he answered, walking away, already looking down at his phone. 

The worker laughed, handing your card back, “A handful, huh?”

“Yes. Both hands.”

“Good luck with that. And Happy Holidays.”

You bid her goodbye and followed the boys out.

~

day 13 of @obxmermaid​‘s holiday challenge: christmas tree farm