#and hopefully this is enjoyable for you all!

[koszmarnybudyn]

I was suppose to be drawing other things, but then i saw a really fun refrence and this is the result.

[thethreeeyed-raven]

familiar

navigation | a/n : i haven’t written anything in months so this might be a little rusty, i’ve had this idea for a while so i hope that it’s enjoyable, lmk if you’d like a part 2! | warnings : depictions of death, character death, sexual tension(?) | tags : @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom , @knight-of-flowerss | ao3 link

The crew had arrived at a small island only a few moments ago. Nami, Luffy and Usopp went into the town to explore and Sanji had gone searching for some additional ingredients. And of course Zoro went to search for the nearest bar.

The swordsman needed a refreshing pint of beer after the week he’d had. The strawhats continuously had run-ins with the Marines almost every single day. Sanji would not stop flirting with Nami and Luffy and Usopp would not stop bickering. To say Zoro was annoyed was an understatement.

The citizens of ‘Fawn Island’ as they called it, peered at him as he strolled through the street when he finally found a decent bar.

The staring didn’t stop until he found a seat at the counter, Zoro supposed it was the three swords hanging from his side that was grabbing the attention of the people.

The bar  was quiet, the only sounds were the clashing of glasses and the whispering of the customers. Zoro found it surprising that there weren’t any whispers about him like there usually was, instead there were fearful conversations of a creature of the night.

Zoro quickly finished his drink, deciding to save the information for his crew.

“So, has anyone found anything about this island?” Nami asked as everyone gathered on the deck of the Going Merry. Everyone shook their heads apart from Sanji and Zoro.

“They have excellent spices.” Sanji smirked.

Zoro rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Well I actually learned something worthwhile, thought you might be interested.”

“Go on.” Everyone was interested in what Zoro had to say for once. Usually he would comment on the bland taste of the alcohol or the poor customer service of the bartenders.

“I heard some of the villagers talking about a ‘creature of the night’. I think they said it lived on that huge castle on the top of that hill over there.” He pointed to a large ominous building on the other side of the island. “I think they called the creature ‘vampire’ or something.” Zoro had been all over the east blue and heard many stories of mythical creatures and monsters.

“Never heard of that before.” Usopp commented, stroking his chin in thought.

Nami shrugged. “I mean, I’ve heard people talking about something like that but I thought it was just a myth.”

“Well, I say we should find out.” Luffy sported a cheeky grin and Zoro already  regretted telling them about it.

Later on the crew decided to trek to the eerie castle upon the hill. Two hours had passed since they made that decision and Zoro was starting to think they should have listened to the villagers warnings. The villagers warned the strawhats not to go to the castle at night, but of course Luffy was not one to listen.

Luffy led the group with Usopp trailing not far behind him. The others spared concerned glances at each other as the fog began to thicken and the trees began to lose their leaves.

The air began to get colder and none of the lights from the town below could be seen. Soon enough they reached the castle which looked more like ruins from the outside. Luffy banged on the old wooden doors and the chains rattled from the force.

“How are we going to get in?” Usopp asked.

“Hopefully not at all.” Muttered Nami.

Eventually the Captain found an entrance at the side of the ancient building and decided that everyone should split up and explore. Luffy and Usopp paired up and so did Nami and Sanji leaving Zoro to explore by himself.

The various paintings and statues littering the hallways sent a shiver down the swordsman’s spine. The paintings depicted many deaths, beheadings and things of the sort. The statues had eyes that felt like they were watching you. Zoro didn’t feel fear, but this castle was giving him bad vibes.

Not a sound could be heard but the creaking of his own footsteps. Zoro decided he had had enough of exploring and made his way to find the rest of the crew when he walked past a painting he swore wasn’t there before.

This painting was the only one that didn’t show a brutal death. The painting depicted a woman, but not just any woman. Whoever this was had a strong presence and commanded respect. Zoro completely forgot what he was going to do, completely taken by the woman.

“Do you like it?”

The voice made him jump back and he quickly whipped around to see the source. When Zoro turned, he found the woman from the painting.

She smiled at him and he noticed a glimmer of a sharp fang between her lips. Zoro didn’t know much about creatures of the night or the fact they ever existed at all, but this woman was exuding an aura of mystery and darkness.

“That’s you, isn’t it?” Zoro hesitantly asked.

The woman nodded and smiled, this time her fangs were on show. “I had it done a couple of decades ago.”

Surprisingly she didn’t ask what he was doing in what he presumed was her home. She just continued to smile at him.

“So what the villagers said about this place was true.” Zoro carefully lifted one of his swords. “A creature of the night does live here.”

The woman’s smile instantly dropped. “Take your hands off your sword.”

The swordsman did as she said, not wanting to alert her. “We didn’t mean to intrude, we heard stories and my captain wanted to check this place out.”

The woman leaned into him and placed her hands on his shoulders. “You should have knocked on the front door then. Well! Feel free to look around as you have been doing. If I come across your crew I’ll say hi.”

She turned her back to him and began to walk down the hall but stopped when Zoro called out to her. “Hey Lady! If you try to kill my crew I’ll kill you.”

The woman turned her head towards him and laughed. “Do you even know how to kill a vampire?”

“This place is creepy as hell.” Nami commented. The crew had met back up in the center of the castle and had seen their fair share of spooky paintings.

“I think it’s cool!” Luffy, ever the optimist, liked the place.

As the crew discussed their next move, none of them noticed the sounds of footsteps coming towards them. Instantly Zoro felt her again. She was watching them.

“You can all stay for dinner if you like.” The woman’s voice interrupted the crew, making them all swiftly turn to look at the staircase. She began to descend down the stairs not taking her eyes off of Zoro.

“Who are you?” Usopp’s voice quivered, he was clearly intimidated by this woman’s energy. Even Sanji was too intimidated to make a flirty comment.

“I live here. Did your friend not tell you?” She gestured to Zoro who now felt uncomfortable with everyone’s eyes on him.

“I forgot.”

She hummed in response, finally taking her eyes off of him to inspect the crew. “You all look hungry, you should stay for a little longer.”

The straw hats ended up taking the woman up on her offer. She let Sanji run riot in her kitchen. Soon enough a delicious feast was prepared and everyone sat down at a large table in the very large dining room.

The candles which decorated the walls were the only source of light besides the light of the full moon shining down on the windows. Everyone chatted quietly as they ate their food, but the woman didn’t eat. Instead she peered at each of the crew individually before her eyes found Zoro.

“I don’t believe I ever got your name.” Zoro’s attention was stolen from his glass of wine to look up at the woman. She looked at him with a sort of familiarity and longing. What did she think when she saw him?

“It’s Roronoa Zoro. What’s yours?”

The woman seemed completely taken by him as she answered. “It’s Y/N. I-”

“So what’s your story?” Nami interrupted. “I mean, you’re in this castle all alone and the villagers like to make up rumours.”

“Oh I know.” The woman replied. “This castle has been my home for nearly a century.”

The crew looked at each other in panic and the woman laughed. “What they say is true, I am a creature of the night. Ever heard of vampires?” Everyone but Nami and Zoro shook their heads. “You should do your research, even though half of what the books say is true.”

Usopp tightly gripped onto his slingshot. “Are you gonna kill us?”

The woman chuckled again and shook her head. “I don’t kill. Travellers give themselves up to me in hopes I’ll share ‘the gift’. I wouldn’t make someone into a vampire ever.”

Luffy and Usopp seemed more at ease with the woman’s reassurance, but the rest of the crew were still a bit on edge. Sanji finally spoke up. “Have you been alone this whole time?”

The woman’s amusement at their fear seemed to have disappeared at the question.

“No.” Y/N’s curiosity about these people had vanished. She had not been alone at first, no. These people seemed trustworthy even if they didn’t seem to trust her. “I lived here a long time ago with my husband.”

She took a sip of what she knew the crew assumed was blood. And they would be right. A traveller had made his way up to the castle a few nights before begging to be turned. Of course Y/N refused but he wouldn’t listen, so she drank him dry.

“What happened to him?” The boy in the straw hat asked.

Y/N hesitated before answering. “That’s a story for another time.”

“We don’t mind we have all night.”

Y/N looked around at them all wondering if she should share her story. Deciding she should, she took one last gulp of her drink and settled in the chair.

“It was a long time ago, when almost every island had a king or some kind of ruler. When I was human, I was sold off to the King of this island to be his Queen. He was a cruel man and treated his people poorly, but he needed to carry on his reign by any means necessary, even if that meant marrying a commoner. You would think that being married would make anyone happy. I thought that I would be content at least. I was happy in my town, and then I was forced to live in this miserable, dreaded castle with the most horrible man I’d ever met. My salvation was one of the guards of the town.”

Y/N paused and scanned their faces. Each one of them seemed to be interested in the story, including the swordsman who was so familiar to her. She continued to watch him as she carried on.

“His name was Kanji and he was everything the King was not. He was the only person that I had any affection for, before and after I was sold off to the King. Perhaps that was why the King hated me so much, because I wasn’t devoted to him like a ‘good wife’ should’ve been. All of my love was not his to use to manipulate and control.”

The crew watched on as Y/N as she recalled her human life. “All I wanted was to find a little bit of happiness in my miserable life. So I would tend to the gardens, speak with the staff and at night…I would meet with Kanji. I would shower him with my repressed love and we would spend the nights together until dawn. Until one day, he wasn’t there.”

The crew were entirely enthralled in the tale, they were almost on the edge of their seats. “So? What happened to him?” Asked Sanji.

Y/N looked up from her glass. “One of the other guards had discovered us one night and instantly knew the nature of our involvement. He ran off and told the Captain who informed the General. And then Kanji was ripped away from me just like that.” She snapped her fingers. “The one reason I chose to still live a life full of misery and pain, all because he was my one source of light in my endless ocean of darkness. The King wouldn’t even let me have that. If I was not his I could not be anyone else's. I think you can imagine what happened to Kanji.”

There was a pause as the story sank in. Every time Y/N thought of her beloved Kanji, her unbeating heart would be overcome with a sharp pain as if she was being stabbed in the chest by the blade of sorrow. It didn’t help that the man sitting to her right was the exact replica of him.

Y/N sighed loudly, feigning fatigue. “You all look tired after your long journey up the mountain. Feel free to find any room to stay in for the night.”

With that, she swiftly exited the dining room and made her way towards the other end of the mansion where her bedroom was located.

The picture laid old and wrinkled, the years that passed by of the photo being taken quickly reflecting the poor quality. The edges were tattered and some were tearing, but Y/N held it to her heart as though it was something sacred.

A picture of Kanji hidden under her pillow. For decades it laid under the soft fabric untouched, its keeper being unable to even glance at it.

The red tears came as they always did when Y/N spoke of Kanji. Whether it was to an audience or even to herself. The grief of the love she once had was too much. She often wondered if Kanji would love her if he knew what she was now. A part of her was glad he didn’t live to see the monstrous blood thirsty side of her, for it was inevitable that she would have been turned.

The bitter cold of the winter nipped at her flushed cheeks. The harshness of winter would not stop the Queen from meeting with her secret lover.

The Queen was overcome with excitement of meeting with her love that she didn’t notice the pair of golden eyes watching her. She only became aware of the presence when it made itself known.

“I’ve been watching you for some time.”

The queen quickly turned around and came face to face with a tall figure. The creature loomed over her and stared into her eyes as if it was searching for her soul.

“You are empty. Living in this dreary place has made you unhappy. Your only source of happiness has perished, you have nothing left.”

The queen quickly became overwhelmed with shock.Was this thing talking about Kanji? Was he one of the King’s spies?

 She didn’t remember much after that because she became paralysed with fear.  All she could remember was the creature saying, “I can make you happy again.” Then a sharp pain in her neck and an aching in her muscles. Her vision became clouded and she felt her body drop onto the cold hard concrete.

The next time she would wake up would be in complete darkness and an insatiable hunger for flesh. The beating hearts of the humans surrounding her would become the only sound she would hear, and the only thing she would see when she looked at them was the blood g pumping around their bodies.

Knock, knock

Y/N was snapped from her trance from a knocking at her door. She quickly made her way over to it, opening it to reveal Roronoa Zoro.

They both stared at each other for what felt like a milena, but was only half a second. “I think I got lost-” “Would you like to come in?”

Oh.

A few stutters came from Zoro as he considered the offer. He brushed past Y/N and looked around her room.

The windows were shielded with thick velvet curtains, a large coffin was in the center, and an unused queen sized bed. It seemed that this room and the dining room were the only ones that were looked after.

“I was looking for another spare room but my friends took the only good ones.”

“Well, there is always my late husband’s room.”

Zoro turned to look over his shoulder as if to say ‘really?’ and Y/N chuckled at his facial expression. 

“So what’s the deal with the bed and the coffin?” Zoro questioned as he sat himself down on bed.

“The coffin is where I rest,” Y/N made her way over to the bed and wrapped her hand around one of the wooden frames. “And the bed is for people I find interesting.”

Zoro eyed her carefully. “Do you find me interesting?”

Y/N moved closer to him before she was nearly standing between his spread legs. “Very.”

She brought her cold hand up to his warm freckled cheek. His eyes were as dark as the dirt in which she should have been buried long ago. “I knew you in a past life. You feel as warm as he felt. I never thought I would feel him against my cold, dead flesh.”

“I’ve heard stories about reincarnation. I’d never have thought that I would be an example. Do I really look like him?”

The more Y/N looked at him, the more he became foreign to her. “You are not Kanji. You are Roronoa Zoro. The demon pirate hunter, I’ve heard your name be passed around on the streets. You are familiar to me in many ways.”

“Just not this body.” Zoro grounded himself, and her with his four words. It made the situation feel surreal to the swordsman and the vampire. “You’re not familiar to me at all, but I felt something when you first spoke to me. It gave me a vague idea.”

There was a connection with Y/N that Zoro had never felt with anyone. Her icy touch  was unfamiliar, but comforting to him. He didn’t have the memories of Kanji, but there were some feelings he was sure his past self must have felt when looking at the enigma which was Y/N.

“I think I could get familiar with you.”

[rhysie11]

OMG I am SO sorry!! I have been so busy helping my sisters getting settled in and just all this craziness! I promise I will check tumblr way more often! That being said, Aww! Thank you so much! I promise you inspire me to write just as much as I inspire you! I’m sorry that I am just seeing this now, but it brings me such joy to know I help you see how great your fanfic is! Hearing about your writing style gives me so many ideas going forward! I loved every single chapter, and it only gets better! I truly believe you are up there in top 3 of rhyiona writers! So if you feel like you should have done a few things differently, I definitely have my work cut out for me. You are amazing! And I hope you know just how much enjoyment and encouragement you bring!

And of course!! It is just a rough patch, and I am so sure you will be in a much better position so soon! The storm will surely blow over, and it will make you stronger because of it! I cannot wait until it does! Maybe we can bounce ideas off each other, and hopefully get some more cute fluff written about our two favorite vault hunters! I hope you’re able to respond soon! Again, sorry about the late reply. I will be sure to check my notifications way more frequently! I hope I can continue to inspire you as well! This truly is such a great discussion that I am glad I started! YOU are awesome too!!

And yay! I was hoping so! <3

Hey so I gotta ask! What got you back into tales? If you ever left lol. It’s just I LOVED tales back then but for some reason my saves keep corrupting and I got tired of dealing with it so I deleted it 💀 but I recently got back into it and I’ve been reading your fanfic and I’m loving it! It’s so true to their characters! For some reason I always felt Fiona was a better match for Rhys and that last scene with them in the vault was the nail in the coffin. What got you into it again? Because truly I have no idea why I did 😭

Firstly, it is so incredibly lovely to know that something I’ve written has brought someone else joy. Thank you so, so much! Life has been very rough for me lately, having me constantly busy and I probably will be for a while, so I don’t know when I’ll update and write anymore chapters after Chapter 15, but know I do plan on getting back into it whenever life slows down. Suddenly, I’m given this brief moment to check Tumblr as a break from reality, and upon doing so I saw this comment of yours! To receive a comment is truly so delightful. Seriously, thank you times a million<3 So, to answer what you’ve asked, well…

As years have flown by and life became more complex for me, I craved comfort in nostalgia, and how I’d typically get my fix of comforting nostalgia was from old narrative-driven video games. When I first got into Tales From The Borderlands, I believe it was when Jacksepticeye posted his gameplay footage for it. The year the game came out, I was twelve years old, so it feels really random how memories of the game’s existence hit me about a decade later. Now that you’ve asked, I’ve reflected, and I think it was stepping into being an English major that made me remember the game.

From indulging in narrative-driven video games at such a young age, I fell in love with the idea of storytelling and specifically that of creative writing. So, during my most recent semester at college, I finally decided to take an intro to fiction writing course that covered so many aspects of storytelling. The instructor would invite classmates and I to share examples of stories that applied certain narrative techniques, and that’s what really jogged to mind Tales From The Borderlands. I couldn’t stop bringing up the game numerous times. “Does anyone have an example of a piece of media that uses a type of plot structure we can discuss?” (Oh, well Tales From the Borderlands utilizes frame narrative structure.) “Let’s talk unreliable narrators” (Oh! Well, there are these two protagonists, Rhys and Fiona…) “Does anyone have an example of Chekhov’s gun?” (Felix’s gift to Sasha) “Given the twelve character archetypes we went over, pick one and give an example of it” (Gortys falls under The Child archetype, as she is hopeful yet naive…) In short, I believe this is how I got back into watching gameplay of Tales From The Borderlands. Analyzing and studying any beloved media of storytelling can teach a writer a lot about how to improve in the craft.

If I’m honest, I’ve never written fanfiction before, and I never thought I’d get into it. Fourteen year old me thought fanfiction was absolutely cringe and not worth getting into, either writing it or reading it. Twenty-two year old me, being very frustrated that romancing Rhys and Fiona was not an option, decided to indulge in reading a lot of Rhyiona fanfic to scratch the itch the game did not provide, and I quickly learned that there are so many incredibly talented writers that write incredible fanfic. Writers like @andaxay @admiralsweko @rin-bellatrix absolutely proved the pretentious mindset I had at fourteen was so very wrong, and such a joy it is to be proven wrong for something as silly as that.

Naturally, as to how I decided to start writing my own fanfic, reading the works of those fanfic writers and many more from ao3 have inspired me to give it a shot. Additionally, as someone who has stressed over original content she wants to put out someday, I wanted a break from getting so hung up on my original work’s rough patches of the writing process, while still practicing the craft of creative writing somehow. Thus, fanfiction just made sense to start exercising and honing in on narrative techniques while removing the pressure I have from time to time regarding my original stories. While writing fanfic, I could practice character voice vs narrator voice, flashbacks, narrative pacing, varying sentence structure in developing a writing style, etc. etc. I’m still learning as a writer, and always will be, so writing fanfic is such a fun way to go about my journey. And upon further research, I’ve found that many amazing writers have actually started practicing their craft by writing fanfiction. For example, Marissa Meyer (New York Times Bestselling author of The Lunar Chronicles) started off writing Sailor Moon fanfic! It’s so cool to see other people’s writing journey, and now in my own writing journey, it’s so cool to have support like yours with me!

Thanks again for enjoying my content and for reaching out to me. I wish I could convey to you how much it means to me to have such a response. Again, my life has been really rough lately, so I am not exaggerating when I say this; seeing someone genuinely interested in anything I chose to write is so uplifting, and it truly made my night. You’re seriously so awesome! May your days be filled with traffic-free drives and the best breakfast foods ever served (Translation: May you have amazing blessings come your way!!! God bless you!!!)

[dreamygears]

a king and his most loyal

[waterfallofspace]

I had an idea for your Erasermic wav! Aizawa coming home from a patrol in the early hours of the morning, soaked to the bone from the storm raging outside but Mic is up grading papers/working on his radio show and greets his under the weather husband with open arms, tea, and tissues.

Thanks for the request!~ Sorry that it took me so long T-T I've been sitting on this waiting for a chance to edit for awhile, finally sat down and did some grinding to get it out~

Feat: sneezing, sniffling, coughing, noseblowing, sfx of door/rain briefly, and talking, scenario as requested: E/raser comes back from a long night of patrols in the rain, already sick, thankfully his loving husband M/ic is already waiting for him~

[k1tty5]

shortgrass. you agree

[tide-locked]

ok, you know what, fuck it, fic recs post. historically i try not to rec works in progress or things i haven't commented on and i'm throwing that fully out the window for this because honestly, fucking whatever.

if you're on this list and i haven't been fully unhinged at you in the comments, please know that it's because (1) i'm the worst and (2) i'm trying desperately to calibrate so i hit 'enthusiastic' and not 'kind of frightening, actually'. i swear that i have written at least several sentences of a comment for every fic on this list, it's just that i'm genuinely impossibly slow, sometimes. it's me, not you.

my previous rec post is here, in case you missed that. as a bonus, special for this rec list and as a concession to the horrors, i am attempting to guess how much any given fic will fuck up the average person. obviously this is a ymmv kind of situation, but i'm trying, at least?

everything else under a cut because i am longwinded.

and found by @dangerouscommiesubversive, explicit, every possible combination of di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua | li xiangyi; bless, but i am not typing all that out. starting off with a wip where i haven't left a comment in like four fuckin' chapters, breaking those rules real good. this fic is a fucking ride. i will admit that i wasn't entirely convinced by the premise when i saw the blurb, but i am nothing if not willing to admit when i was wrong, and i was—once again—totally wrong. this is the fic where i was like 'ok but…is anyone really, like, desperate for gen z li xiangyi?' and then i read it and i was like 'ohhhhhh fuck yeah, ok, i get it, i was actually fully desperate for gen z li xiangyi.' he is. such a little prick. i love him. there has been something unexpected and delightful in every single chapter of this so far, plus a number of impressively memorable one-liners. this fic is fun and distracting and at least as of chapter seven, i'm gonna say it's not even gonna fuck you up. (please note that this is only through chapter seven!)

and the days are bright red by @junemermaid, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. rip to my beloved tumblr mutual @junemermaid, because they're getting called out twice in this list, but: tough. this fic is so delightful. featuring: memories of slut era li lianhua, the mortifying ordeal of being known, an entire box of historically accurate sex toys, fang duobing and di feisheng communicating (sometimes silently) in a way that unsettles li lianhua (back from his months-long sojourn), some very hot sex that is both very much about sex and also about trust and being perceived, casual intimacy, and fledgling tenderness. there are Emotions in this, and they get moderately intense, but it's a very kind and surprisingly gentle feel-good fic.

a drink under a clear window by @momosandlemonsoda, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing and fang duobing/qiao wanmian. a fic that tackles the dreaded v-shaped polycule and makes it work. it seems like perhaps it shouldn't: fang duobing as the hinge, with di feisheng and qiao wanmian on either side, but actually it works perfectly, and is a lovely little glimpse at who they could become and the relationships they could have. i love the thought of qiao wanmian having come into her own as a leader in her own right, as more than just the representative of the ghost of li xiangyi, and this does a wonderful job of letting her be her own person. also, yes, ok, passing fang duobing back and forth like a party favour. this is a post-canon fic in which li lianhua is dead, but the fic itself a straightforward delight that is not at all fucky uppy.

the floating clouds, no resting place, again by @junemermaid (not sorry), technically gen and no ship, but functionally pre-di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. the hair-washing fic. ohhhhhh. i started jotting notes for this post the day that i finished this fic, and i really thought that they were in any way comprehensive, but instead, what i typed and left as a note to myself was this:

and honestly. you're right, hypothetical reader, that doesn't totally make sense, but i stand by it regardless, because i apparently had that thought in [checks date i last saved the file] fucking august, and i'm still nodding along with myself. that is that this is like. this fic is very beautiful and will make you ache and will leave you slightly better at the end of it than you were at the beginning. it may also make you cry; this seems to me a fair enough trade.

the floating lotus by @anndramarama, not rated, di feisheng/li xiangyi. pre-canon stuff doesn't always work super well for me, but i really enjoyed this one, featuring di feisheng and li xiangyi when they're both so young and arrogant and full of themselves—and stupid and naïve and young and almost hopeful in a way that they're often not, in fic, for all that they were barely but children at the point of the donghai fight. they just seem…vulnerable, i guess, in this, in a way that i find touching. seasonal bonus: a ghost story, of a sort. given that this is set pre-canon, i think it's hard to come in any softer than bittersweet, which this very much is.

from here one's hand could pluck the stars by @howlingmoonrise, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing. sex pollen fic! also featuring, a little surprisingly, given the premise, incredibly explicit and enthusiastic consent. look, this does what it says on the tin. di feisheng gets sex pollened. fang duobing is left to stay with him. the obvious ensues. unfortunately, it is also devastatingly charming? fang duobing is earnest and sweet; di feisheng is suffering beautifully terribly and trying so hard not to impose on fang duobing. they're both trying so hard to be respectful of what the other person needs, but they're also still bratty and argumentative and exasperated/exasperating, and it's very entertaining. this will fuck you up none percent, and may even make you laugh.

my war is done by @orchisailsa, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. another wip, with the first of three chapters posted, but please understand that this chapter is nearly 15k and so fucking good and compelling. li lianhua lives! and returns to find that things have changed in his absence, and perhaps that he has also changed in his absence, and now wants things that he had told himself he didn't mind not even having to lose. bonus: road trip and—delight!—only one room at the inn. also some other stuff that i'm not spoiling, but that made me absolutely gleeful. this is definitely a work in progress, and while i don't think there's anything particularly upsetting in the chapter, it does end on something of a cliffhanger. i personally do not feel that this is an upsetting cliffhanger, given the information about the fic that's presented in the tags, but it is technically a cliffhanger.

awkward paragraph break, but it's also important, i think, to mention the absolutely stunning (and not at all safe for work) companion piece to my war is done, you'd be there calling my name, by saki the cup bearer, who i don't think is on tumblr. it's fucking incredible; i am very decidedly not an artist but i cannot begin to imagine how much effort went into this. just. holy shit.

not unlike him in shape and form by @philologicalbat, explicit, fang duobing/li lianhua. ok look. i fucking love when things are deeply emotionally messy, and this is so emotionally messy. li lianhua who's been attracted to fang duobing and not doing anything about it, then discovering that fang duobing is shan gudao's son and is very much going to do something about it. he wants in this, and he's cunty and manipulative and mean about it, and sometimes also almost sweet, almost tender, and i love that, because i feel like li lianhua is very often an object of desire and very rarely gets to desire. i love how human he gets to be in this fic. this is not a sweet or gentle fic, but it does end in a moderately tender place that is tentatively hopeful, i think.

unbecoming heir by @bettercostume, explicit, di feisheng/princess zhaoling. i am taking your hand in mine and begging you to trust me. i know what this fic looks like. it's noncon and a weird pairing and you might look at it and expect it to go in the obvious direction and: it does not. this fic is so good that it makes me angry. it makes me miserable and everyone in this fic is trying so miserably, miserably hard, and it's fucking devastating. i spent literally thirty minutes earlier today yelling at my wife about it. i cannot rec this fic strongly enough. this is not a happy fic, but it is a good fic. it will absolutely fuck you up. this is very complimentary but also you will be fucked up.

until you are its primary evidence by @ilgaksu, mature, di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. the single most effective use of what is effectively a prologue that i've ever seen in fic, are you kidding me. this fic is nothing at all like what i expected it to be, and is something far better than what i could have imagined. it's fang duobing's point of view, which is a rarity already, and it's so well done, and it allows him so much humanity and so much anger and grace alike. there are so many tricky things about this fic—the prologue, the fact that it's set in the amnesia arc, fang duobing's pov, the fact that it actually addresses canonical disabilities and illnesses without being fucking weird about it, the tension between the three of them—and it's all balanced so well. this has some emotionally heavier moments but ends tentatively happily; tentative only because it's set during the amnesia arc, and, well. we know what comes next.

as a final note: if you wrote one of these fics and feel that i've wildly misinterpreted the emotional tenor of the ending, please message me in whatever way you prefer and i will correct it. i would not normally presume to guess how things are likely hit people, as i am in many ways not anyone's ideal reader, but today it seemed like it was kinder to at least try.

[arsonisticartichokes]

Hello! I saw your krtdbkdk post, promply choked at how much it fit all my headcanons and and rushed in your asks. Sorry if its is a bit sudden. Could you, please, share any good fics featuring them if you know any? In any combination, though krtdbkdk and tdbkdk are my guilty favourites. 'Cause as a fellow poly enjoyer I am desperate to find some more good and preferably long ones.

Why hello anon! Happy to see another poly enjoyer!! I was put on this earth to draw ot3s so it's good to see some other pals lol /pos. I'm more than happy to give fic recommendations, though, fair warning, my personal fav is KiriBakuDeku, so they're probably gonna fall in that direction (I also have not read fanfiction in a bit since I'm sadly a busy lad TwT), but I'll try and give a variety ^w^

ObscureBrainwave's "TodoBakuDeku" series: They're rather short oneshots, but they're pretty banger in my opinion! Full of sweet hurt comfort for Izuku from his bfs and earsermic dads hehe <3

"ICEHOLE" by surveycorpsjean: A BKDK fic inspired by the winter Au/7th popularity pole. Fair warning, this fic contains ABO, but it's used almost in place of quirklessness in this AU so its pretty enjoyable. Very long and the way they wrote Katsuki and Izuku's relationship made me sit and read it all in one siting lmao (: /pos

"Kiss Ya Stupid Kiss Ya Good" by whiskeyandspite: Pure kiribakudeku fluff where Katsuki tries to teach his idiots how to cook over call/text. Literally precious. (Belongs to a larger series but it's mostly smut and I haven't read it personally lol /lh)

"not a dream (but it feels like one)" by woodsbane: More KiriBakuDeku fluff, this time featuring a delicious amount of pining Kirishima. Ends with them all getting together and is so cute it gave me cavities hehehe <33

"Certain Certainties" by OkeyDokeyTodoroki (swimtime): More fluff, this time TdBkDk. Katsuki comes home from a bad day and his silly boyfriends make it better. Short but sweet, will make you smile :]]

"depollute me, pretty baby" by LokiChoki: KrBk! I'll be so fr, I do not fully remember the plot, I do remember it being full of hurt comfort though and it making me cry, plus it's saved in my "fics to not forget" folder sooo- maybe give it a read! :D

"Eat this (eat me)" by bakadont: Beloved KiriTodoBakuDeku fluff where they make gingerbread cookies together!! (Also part of a longer series that's mainly smut if that's your cup of tea)

"Nitro" by 3daynovel: rather long KrBk chefs au! With head chef!Katsuki and pastry chef!Kirishima. Has some AMAZXING Bakusquad dynamic, and brilliant platonic TdBk. Loved this fic so much that I've reread it a bunch lol, the relationship build up is just so- ARARARA /pos. Fair warning, it does have background IzuOcha if that's not your thing(/lh), but's it's only in a few scenes, and it has amazing platonic BkDk. Also has sequels but my memory is small and I cannot remember if i have readd them or not ngl lol /lh

"Izuku Come Down" by Arson_by_The_Hour: Wow, what's this, shameless self promo? Haha, yeah, I wrote a BakuDeku fic (only thing I've fully written for MHA so far somehow /lh)! It's very long and all about Izuku's worn mental health in his second year of UA. Not super ship heavy, but if you like angst and BKDK hurt comfort, you'll very much enjoy!

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

Parallels in the Yi City arc: Yi City Quartet & 3Zun

(Long post ahead!)

I think one overlooked detail about the Yi City arc is how closely its characters parallel the story of 3Zun – with Xiao Xingchen as Lan Xichen, Xue Yang as Jin Guangyao, and Song Lan and A-Qing as aspects of Nie Mingjue! Though we can't know if its intentional, the sheer number of similarities does suggest to me that it shouldn't be overlooked – so, let's investigate.

Both Xiao Xingchen and Lan Xichen play the role of the 'betrayed' — significantly, because of some sort of blindness.

While for Xiao Xingchen this is physical, Lan Xichen is also blind to Jin Guangyao's true nature. This blindness has been shaped by their betrayer: Xue Yan blinded Song Lan, leading to Xiao Xingchen sacrificing his own eyes for him, while Jin Guangyao deliberately acts to make himself appear honourable and innocent to the people he encounters. This means Lan Xichen cannot 'see' anything contradictory to this about him. This theme of blindness becomes important to the thematic implications of this arc, which we'll talk about later.

In both cases, the 'betrayer' has some role in shaping this blindness, and uses it to their advantage.

Xue Yang blinded Song Lan, causing Xiao Xingchen to give up his eyes for him. Jin Guangyao's crafted persona is the reason Lan Xichen doesn't suspect anything about him. Xue Yang uses Xiao Xingchen's blindness to conceal his identity/nature and thus get close to an unsuspecting him; Jin Guangyao is likewise able to be unsuspected, while using Lan Xichen's generosity to murder Nie Mingjue and gaining a strong ally/defender. Regardless of intent towards Lan Xichen himself, this is still true.

This leads to an identity reveal and betrayal, in which the former party is blindsided (...pun not intended, I couldn't find a better word).

Xiao Xingchen is shocked that Xue Yang is Xue Yang when A-Qing tells him; Lan Xichen likewise does not want to believe Jin Guangyao isn't the person he thought he knew (though, he does promise to evaluate his beliefs!), and when Jin Guangyao ends up sealing his spiritual powers and betraying him, he doesn't see it coming.

Additionally, Lan Xichen and Xiao Xingchen are both tricked into stabbing a member of their group, as a part of someone else's revenge.

For Lan Xichen, it's an outside party (Nie Huaisang); for Xiao Xingchen, it's another member of this group (Xue Yang). Nie Huaisang wanted to take revenge on Jin Guangyao, and Xue Yang wanted to take revenge on Xiao Xingchen himself.

Also, Lan Xichen was tricked by his Xue Yang counterpart into being an instrument for a group member's murder, which could also parallel these events on Xiao Xingchen's side!

So, why is this important?

A common theme in MDZS is being critical of information/rumours. Don't accept something at first glance – question the validity, the evidence, the reason it's being brought up. We see this in the way Lan Wangji acts (eg when discussingg the case of the Chang clan) and in how he teaches the Juniors; we see this in how Wei Wuxian questions the words and intentions of Sisi and Bicao, even when having people suspect Jin Guangyao would be beneficial to him; we see this in the very premise of the novel, as something we were led to believe was true at first glance (by the title and prologue) is proven to be entirely false.

And, in Lan Xichen and Xiao Xingchen's case, we see the dangers of the opposite. That's not blaming them – Jin Guangyao is a very good manipulator and I’d argue Lan Xichen handled the situation very well when it was raised, and Xiao Xingchen was physically blind and couldn’t have guessed the body on the roadside would be Xue Yang of all people – but factually, both characters believed something without having seen the full picture, and were stabbed in the back for it. Lan Xichen could have considered Nie Minjue's words to provide another perspective, and Xiao Xingchen could have inquired into this mysterious person's background and questioned whether they were exploitative (even if it may have been unreasonable, and wouldn't have changed much since Xue Yang is a very good liar), yet both didn't. They both do accept or try to accept what we know is the truth when it's raised to them, but unfortunately it's too late and both pay a steep price. It's also worth noting that both are considered righteous figures (you can debate about Lan Xichen, but that's his in-universe perception), and neither had malicious intent towards any group member. But it doesn't matter how good your intentions are, or how good of a person you are – if you believe things unquestioningly, it'll still lead to harm. Both to you, and unintentionally by you, too. After all, this unquestioning acceptance of one-sided hearsay is a major driver of the mob mentality so heavily critiqued in the book.

And yes, this could've worked had their stories not so closely paralleled each others' – but I'd argue Xiao Xingchen's physical blindness serves to lampshade the metaphorical blindness of Lan Xichen, accentuating this theme. And also having two similar stories helps draw attention to what both of them are saying much more easily than if the stories had been very different.

At the end, however, Lan Xichen is left alive and able to reflect on what led him to this scenario – unlike his spiritual predecessor. Perhaps this is a glimmer of hope, a sign that there is more room for the questioning of rumours and for critical thinking skills in the world now, especially as the younger generation who embodies this begins to grow up; or perhaps it's just another detail of just how doomed Xiao Xingchen was, because despite embodying this theme, was there anything to reflect on and do differently, that would've changed the outcome of his story? As we said before, Xue Yang is a very good liar, and there really wasn't a reason to constantly suspect him from the information Xiao Xingchen had and (more importantly) could feasibly gather. Regardless, the difference in where they end up is important when analysing similarities, and I'm inclined to believe it is a small sign the world can change for the better.

(Similarities on other members under the cut – because there are a lot for everyone else, too, and this post isn't just about the two mentioned above. Once more, we'll be analysing both the 'what' and the 'why'.)

Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao play the role of the 'betrayer' or 'villain', hiding the fact that they're causing and wanting to cause harm – successfully from one member, unsuccessfully from the other(s).

The 'What'

Both kill the suspecting, the main difference being who they're targeting with this action (for Xue Yang, this taints Xiao Xingchen further, whereas Jin Guangyao was simply targeting Nie Mingjue and not Lan Xichen at all). Additionally, both are from a lower-class*, non-cultivator background, who were taken in by the Jin sect and rose to power through this and through doing… morally dubious things. Both share revenge as a motivator – specifically, revenge against an older, male Sect Leader who used them, rejected them and physically harmed them in some way too (Chang Ci'An due to Xue Yang being a street child; Jin Guangshan due to Jin Guangyao being the ‘son of a prostitute’). However, they have both accomplished this revenge goal at the time of their main story. They also have worked together and helped each other in their actions in the past (Villainous Friends extra). Also, both end up losing a hand to Lan Wangji, coincidentally enough.

The 'Why'

Though classism is a present theme in both their stories, I wouldn’t say this is what the parallels are drawing attention to — it’s drawn attention to much more when dealing with Jin Guangyao, and the idea that being treated badly isn’t an excuse for your actions is more prevalent in contrast (with characters like WWX and A-Qing) than similarities. Thematically, they instead serve to show just how easily information can be twisted and distributed – and again, why it's so important we don't accept everything at first glance. Outside of themes, their parallels do contrast them slightly, too — after all, Jin Guangyao’s treatment of Lan Xichen** is much more positive than Xue Xang’s of Xiao Xingchen, despite the ‘betrayed’ treating both of the similarly. But, one could argue, how much does this actually matter? Considering the eventual harm brought to this figure by them regardless, and everything else each of them did? Whatever the answer, the questions are raised by these similarities between them.

Finally, Nie Mingjue is paralleled by both Song Lan and A-Qing in different ways, though the Song Lan parallels are more prominent.

The 'What': Song Lan

All three were killed by the ‘betrayer’ — however, both Nie Mingjue’s and Song Lan’s murders occured before the betrayal, and their deaths and post-mortem identity reveals play an important role in it. A-Qing witnessing Song Lan’s death (as well as just discovering Xue Yang’s identity from Song Lan) is what makes her tell Xiao Xingchen who Xue Yang is, catalysing that betrayal, and Xiao Xingchen discovering Song Lan’s identity makes the betrayal have… let’s say even more of an impact :’). Meanwhile, the identity reveal of the mysterious corpse triggers the investigation of Jin Guangyao, and also starts to catalyse his downfall, leading to the events of the Guanyin temple. Additionally, both turn into fierce corpses encountered by the cast of the main story (both fighting Wen Ning and starting more antagonistic than they end up), with these corpses having been modified in some way by the ‘betrayer’: Nie Mingjue’s corpse is cut up, and Song Lan’s has the needles inserted and is under Xue Yang’s control. I wouldn’t especially say there are themes or questions raised here, it’s more similarities in the group dynamic, but it’s still very interesting to see.

There isn't as much to say here on the 'why' side of things, though there may be something I'm missing. The role of these characters here is mainly in service of the themes in the other characters' arcs – but it's still useful to analyse just how many factual similarities there are, again to give us hints as to whether these parallels between the groups were intentional or not.

The 'What': A-Qing

A-Qing and Nie Mingjue have less parallels, but they definitely exist. Their role here is their constant suspicion — they both suspect and keep suspecting the ‘betrayer’’s actions, despite the trust of the ‘betrayed’ in them (though Nie Mingjue is certainly more violent in this regard). Additionally, both play an important role in the death of the ‘betrayer’ as undead beings: the ghost of A-Qing by constantly tapping her bamboo pole to reveal Xue Yang’s position, and Nie Mingjue’s fierce corpse by directly killing Jin Guangyao. Both are souls through which Wei Wuxian experiences the events of their stories, and both also end the story in some sort of container — Nie Mingjue in the coffin and A-Qing’s broken soul in a spirit-trapping pouch — but admittedly that’s much more flimsy than the rest of my points.

The 'Why': A-Qing

Though at first glance it seems like this suspicion didn't do anything positive for the characters – both ended up dead at the hands of the one spreading/taking advantage of misinformation – it's important to note that these characters are the characters the truth is revealed through. Though I'd argue Nie Mingjue was probably blinded by his own assumptions as much as Lan Xichen was blinded by his own, even if it did end up lining up more closely with the truth, he still plays the same role as A-Qing in questioning and suspecting somebody despite it appearing – on the surface – that there's nothing wrong. And I don't think it's coincidence that in both these cases, the truth is revealed through somebody who did play this role.

Final Thoughts

Though it is possible these parallels were still coincidences, there really are a lot of similarities between the groups' storylines – and they do serve the purpose of important themes within the book. Therefore, I don't think it's unreasonable to assume they were intentional on some level! And even if I'm reading too far into things and they weren't? It doesn't mean they hold no value.

Finally, these parallels are really interesting on their own, but it’s also really interesting to compare where each group ended up. Both groups ended up destroyed due to murder done by the ‘betrayer’, with only one person left standing. However, while Xue Yang was the survivor of the Yi city group (and was later killed by LWJ), the survivor of the Venerated Triad was Lan Xichen — someone who, as mentioned, though heavily affected, now has the chance to grow as a person and fully take things with all their context because of it. So despite the prevalence in the Jianghu of the attitude MXTX is critiquing, despite Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and Mianmian only really being able to find peace by stepping away rather than changing it, despite the tragedy of the stories of both the Yi City quartet and of 3zun... ultimately, these parallels could indicate hope.

—

*Although there is a big difference in how much lower this class is, of course.

**There is also the aspect of Xue Yang having a negative past with Xiao Xingchen before, with the opposite being true for Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen. Jin Guangyao is known to have a good memory and hold grudges — so, if the pairs’ roles were reversed, would anything fundamentally change?

[lesbiancarat]

I'm actually so upset that he's on the title track. maybe I'm being dramatic about this particular aspect of it bc it's obviously upsetting they're working with him in any regard. but title tracks and seventeen's albums have always felt like something sacred to me. those albums are seventeen's story through the years. idk I can't really articulate myself well but I'm so disappointed. I was so excited for this comeback and now it's tainted by this. I don't think I can even listen to the collab and the fact that it's the title track is extra disappointing bc... that's a big part of the comeback experience that's just ruined for me

[mcsmtxt]

mevia

oh drunken gods of slaughter you know i’ve always been your favorite daughter etc etc! ( info + thoughts under cut )

so, some design notes out of the way : her outfit is a skinsuit, meaning it is a singular layer of clothing that is skin tight. it is a bit cocky of her to dismiss armor, but to be entirely fair, both her and hadrian are so drowned in ego that practicality has long since died within them. she doesn’t do much fighting these days anyway, and even when she does, she is fiercely confident that her opponents won’t lay a hand on her! with her building and fighting prowess combined, what could go wrong? … besides, the material is likely enchanted to some degree with things like mending, protection IV, etc. she does take great care of it and the tightness helps her fight more brutally, since she’s more able to twist her body around in any which way she wants to without restrictions or weight.

+ note : she also binds her breasts in some manner. usually most who do ( in the world of mcsm ) use strips of cloth, but mevia has likely crafted a real world equivalent of a binder, and has selfishly refused to make more. as one does.

as for overall character notes … where does one begin? mevia is easily one of my favorite old builders, and though i can’t quite place why, i suppose it can be somewhat traced to her thirst for blood and combat. she’s almost like if a party girl decided to start murdering people? i imagine her humble beginnings as a rather insecure time for her — she, despite all her talent and skill, is always subservient to hadrian and is almost desperate for his approval when they lose, so being a bit anxious and always a bit aware of how she’s being perceived feels apt for her. harper and cassie were likely more forward than she was then, a bit louder on purpose rather than mevia’s accidental loudness … she was not shy, but she was obviously standing on awkward legs for a good long while until things begun to change for her, and by extension, everyone else. her love for gore and glory likely brought her out of her shell a bit more and shed some of those wincing movements she once had — likely realizing, belatedly, she actually loved having an audience so long as she performed well, and would lean into this as the years went on. developed showmanship and adorned multiple facets of it : mevia, the gladiator / mevia, the announcer / mevia, the ‘old builder’.

still. she is a bit … prone to hysteria, or at least that’s how hadrian would describe it. sometimes her voice shrills and shrieks from fear and it’s grating to everyone around her, alas — and when she’s in the throes of something, it is very much a blubbering tangent that spins round and round. hadrian thinks she is very ‘womanly’ that way, and yes, he does mean that in the meanest way possible! but she isn’t as stubborn as harper and she isn’t as crazy as cassie, so she ‘passes’ to hadrian and otto … by no means is mevia a pick-me ( despite hadrian’s inflated view of her vs other women ) but she feels no kinship with other girls, and enjoys her position amongst men and men based approval. an exception she enjoys being, not a rule.

mevia is also a bisexual milf who does not know she is bisexual and is rather resistant to the idea of being one. she experiences comphet perhaps? i do think it’d be funny if one of her previous pets was emily ( pets = human partners to the old builders ), whom presented in a more masculine way at the time before deciding to trans her gender, much to the utmost fury and ‘disgust’ of mevia … who then dropped her like a hot potato … and maybe even removed her from the gladiator ring in retaliation. i imagine managing the gladiators is her gig? i doubt hadrian would bother outside of ordering them around, so all the management and the likes would fall to mevia, whose unofficial title is ‘head gladiator’. she likely only chooses her pets from that specific ring, since everyone else would either be dirty respawns or eventual dirty respawns to her. ew. anyway, she is not necessarily the most complex character there is, because she is so content with the endless churn of power and blood she’s now seated on top of ; leaving no room for morality struggles or second guessing when this is the new and beloved normal for her. it’s hard to say if her old self would be appalled by any of this either given the power chaser she was even then. it just isn’t so simple for her. every year since then has been a pleasurable blur ( ahem ahem, massive hedonist! ) and mevia has no desire to go back to the past, and severs each and every tie she once had to it upon presented opportunity. although she might, at times, miss cassie rose … whom i like to imagine she once had a close relationship with.

oh, and another tidbit : she takes major inspiration from the admin + romeoburg, as does hadrian, whether they mean to or not. i’ve been playing around with the vague idea of mevia being a failed romeo champion, given her oddly apt attire? either that, or she just really likes the stories about that guy. she wishes she could live in romeoburg. the respawn thing was definitely not her idea, is all i’ll say, even if she’s long since made peace with it.

[waterfallofspace]

Can you do a longer wav where you make yourself sneeze and describe the tickle building up, where the tickle is inside of your nose, describing the sneezy sensations, and talking through hitches?

Sure, I can give it an attempt!~ I hope this is overall what you are looking for, this is not exaaactly my type of thing, but I gave it an attempt, so hopefully this is enjoyable!~

if there's more specific things you wanted to hear that I wasn't doing, feel free to send another request with a bit more of the specifics, and I can give that a try~ but otherwise, here you go!~

Also the magic powder only got one this time, so if you'd like another where I use that a bit more and describe the difference/attempt to get a few more, I'd be open to that too~ as always, just let me know, any requests/feedback are always welcome, thanks!~

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

i unraveled half a dishcloth about 3 times because i was having a toxic man-refusing-to-ask-for-directions moment and kept telling myself "nah you've knit stacks of these and it's literally the easiest pattern" and ignoring the fact that i've been crocheting for 3-4 years and could really spare 5 seconds to google a pattern as a refresher

[bewarewoof]

howd u like haibane renmei

I liked it a lot!! I can already tell it's a show my brain will be chewing on for a long time, and will need to chew on for a while to Properly appreciate it, but I already appreciate it lots. It's so resonant in ways most shows aren't, it's a shockingly realistic portrayal of depression and how messy and personal and overwhelming it can be, and it's SO impressive how it can make its relatively large cast feel dynamic and familiar beloved in just 13 episodes. Even the world of the show felt more interesting and alive than most shows can dream of - the walls, the titular Haibane Renmei, the restrictions around life for the Haibane, the life cycle of the Haibane from cocoon to Day of Flight. It's all simultaneously fascinating (Who is the Communicator? What's outside the walls? What's the purpose of this religion and all the restrictions placed on the Haibane?) and familiar (Glie still feels like a believable town, the way all the characters interact feels largely natural and real rather than forced or saccharine or contrived). I also admire the show for being so comfortable in shades of grey - the focus on how messy sin and redemption can be and feel, how someone can be good in one area and deeply flawed or hurt in another, how suffering can come from within just as much as it can come from without. It's fitting, given the charcoal wings.

I just rewatched Eva and Haibane Renmei feels like a counter argument to Eva in a lot of ways. Eva episodes 25-26 end on a more positive note than the rest of the series, but the thesis of the show is still "everyone is miserable because no one can be connected, everything is artifice interacting with artifice and can only ever be artifice, lacking the meaningful authenticity we all desperately, desperately crave." 25-26 reach the conclusion that "even if connections are built behind artifice, reaching out and engaging with the artifice is the only way to make progress and to change the world, change the self. The more you engage with other people, the closer you can get to that desperately needed authenticity, even if you never reach it. The attempt and the iteration are what give relationships their meaning."

Haibane Renmei has shades of that, especially in the latter half of the series when the focus is on Rakka and Reki's internal struggles, but more because the show is trying to communicate how the depths of despair feel and act like a cage rather than claiming that the cage is omnipresent and inescapable. Instead of doubling down on this statement, Haibane Renmei feels like it reaches out to hug the viewer, insisting that viewpoint is wrong - that no matter how horrifically isolated and alone someone feels, connections can form and those connections can save you. It may take time, it may take effort, but the first step is to let someone get close enough to unlock that cage door for you and not bite their hand off for the attempt. Whatever you say or do that draws someone near enough to unlock that cage isn't manipulation, it isn't lying, it's just you being you. The artifice doesn't exist - the real you is whomever you are with other people, not who you are when you feel most trapped and alone. You're only trapped if you let yourself be trapped, not in a "depression is a choice" type sense, in a "the pain can end but you have to willingly embrace the relief and help when it comes" sense. It's a perspective that I feel like I don't see often, since that dualistic notion of The Internal vs External Self holds so much sway in the popular consciousness, but it's a perspective I feel is a lot more honest and realistic than the dual selves, especially when it comes to depression.

I don't have anything smart to say about these elements yet, but a short barrage of other things I found interesting and will be thinking about: the focus on communication with the Haibane Renmei, especially the sign language. The fact that the written language reflects the hand signs, the fact the signs are literal actions that speak instead of words, the restrictions around who can speak and when. Communication feels like a huge secondary theme of the show, but I'm gonna have to chew on it more before anything solidifies. A lot of the Haibane restrictions also feel notable - how they're not allowed to earn money, how they're limited to second hand goods, how they have to do a lot of repairs and maintenance themselves as a result. I don't know what to make of this yet tbh. Same with the walls and the town of Glie overall. Obviously the walls can be read as figurative walls we put up to protect ourselves, but I can't shake the feeling there's something more fundamental to them, especially with how they're portrayed to have a power and will all their own. There's also the meaning of names and the notion of a true name. Different meanings for the same sounds feels like a thing that can only happen in character-based scripts like Kanji, but it's still a really cool notion and a really cool way to reflect personal growth, especially in Reki's case. I love how it's not just the meaning of the characters that changes, but the interpretation of what the true name itself represents about a person. There's also the colors, from the grey wings to the muted color palette. The whole thing has that soft Early 2000s Anime Brown vibe to it, but rather than feeling like a wasteland or hostile (Ergo Proxy, Wolf's Rain), it feels more... simultaneously etherial and realistic, strange and homey. It feels like color is a very intentional tool here, Especially at the end with the changing of the year, but I think I'll have to rewatch it with a close eye to tease apart the significance of color and how it's used.

[as-thoughts]

great news everyone, the clint design in Marvel Rivals is an absolute unit

[batsplat]

watched donington 2005 bc of your rec and loved it! do you have any more recs for interesting (and/or messy) wet races?

sure do! we're going to take a broad definition of 'wet' race here... there's also been some major rule changes this century, like bike swaps didn't used to be a thing - plus I'm not particularly inclined to check how each race was actually categorised. so for our purposes here, any race where I remember the track being wet playing a significant role counts

in honour of being incredibly inconsistent with the asterisk system, this time I've added * or ** by how much of a definite recommend it is as a wet race (also to be complete I'll include donington '05)

donington 2000*: valentino's first premier class win and a very valentino way to do it. absolute horror show of a start that drops him to thirteenth on lap one, and he picks his way through from there on the damp track. lovely little comeback ride as they wobble around - crucially at a time when vale did not have a good reputation as a wet weather racer. fun 3-way fight for the win

suzuka 2002**: the first ever motogp race in nasty nasty conditions, and features an unexpected starring performance from japanese wild card rider akira ryo who was very familiar with the track and where all the puddles were. valentino sticks behind him for much of this race, watching and learning. showcases valentino's approach rather nicely

le mans 2003: this one isn't wet for most of the race, and when it starts raining the race is interrupted. that being said, the sete/valentino duel in slippery conditions after the race resumes is fun and fiddly enough to justify its inclusion. banger of a last lap

mugello 2004: same as above - interrupted a few laps before the end for rain. the conditions are very uncertain when they resume, and the last few laps involves a multi-rider scrap between riders on slicks on a track that is very much not dry. fantastic race

shanghai 2005: conditions proper nasty start to finish, crazy amounts of spray. vale does the thing where he gives himself a bit of work to do and is 6th at some point during the first lap, though he's soon up to 2nd and goes about hunting down kenny roberts jr. in the end he disappears out front, so it's up to everyone else to make it exciting (mostly by struggling to stay on track)

donington 2005**: this one's a go-to pick for a reason. horrendous conditions, high attrition rate, lairy saves, a tense fight for the lead before valentino eventually feels comfortable enough to pull a painful margin on the field. classic race all round

phillip island 2006*: first ever bike swap race! late in the season so it's all very dramatic with the title fight - you've still got several different contenders at this stage with constantly changing fortunes. drama up and down the field until the very very end

donington 2007**: proper wet race and exactly what you want from these things, with the run order constantly chopping and changing. the winning rider spends a lot of time in a lot of different positions, great ride to fight his way through

sachsenring 2008: dani's leading the championship, vale crashed the last time out at assen before recovering to 11th, casey's won the last two races... all three of them have very different races in the full wet conditions. incidentally the last race before laguna

indy 2008*: proper fun scrap in appalling conditions! the usual suspects and also some more unusual suspects (that year anyway) scrapping it out at the sharp end of the race - and they really are going for it given the conditions. once stopped, there isn't a restart, though there's still that fun bit where casey joins valentino to (presumably) tell ezpeleta that they are not going back out there

le mans 2009*: my pitch for this one is that it has a claim to being the most embarrassing race of valentino's career. everything that could possibly go wrong did go wrong. I laugh every time I think about this race, but I suppose you have to admire his perseverance

mugello 2009*: yeah, this one's fun! bike swap race right after le mans so Certain Riders are playing it a bit safe... some great tussling and mixing it up and odd run orders in this one, just what you're looking for. incidentally the last race before catalunya

donington 2009*: another one for people who sometimes want to watch some very talented athletes embarrass themselves. casey has the mystery illness excuse for making a ridiculous tyre choice, but the others? lemme not speak. great chaotic shenanigans

sepang 2009: valentino's first matchpoint race, but he has a horrendous first lap (after qualifying well for once) that makes it look like the championship might not be quite done yet. great race out front from casey, though a lot of this one is about tracking vale and jorge's progress through the field. good fun!

le mans 2011*: plenty of talking points post-race, with some riders perhaps not balancing risk/reward quite right on the slippery track. a fierce fight for the final two podium spots behind casey

silverstone 2011*: the signature casey wet weather performance, and it's just too good from him to be exciting out front. still, the conditions are nasty enough there's plenty of peril behind - which two riders in particular discover while attempting to take on dovi

valencia 2011*: unpleasant first corner pile-up, but it's a nice little race from there in tricky conditions that get worse at the end. an extended dovi/dani duel that has real stakes for championship standings and pride. also you get a really dramatic ending out front, kinda out of nowhere? worth sticking with this one

le mans 2012*: jorge's in that stage of his career where he's a decent wet weather racer, and he very much disappears out front as battle rages behind. valentino fights with casey, fights with dovi/cal, fights with casey again... the last vale/casey duel featuring a last lap overtake

assen 2014: wet to dry bike swap, with more rain threatening. it features the first real dovi/marc scrap (doesn't last long, but they have a 2nd go at it as marc hunts dovi down). plus there's also an impressive comeback ride from vale after a poor tyre choice

aragon 2014: rather a nasty valentino crash close to the start - but once you're through that, you're in for quite a silly one. let's just say the dominant rider that year does not have a particularly dignified day in the office. dry to wet bike swap race, which some perhaps grasped a little too late

silverstone 2015**: first race in which valentino lost the championship lead, but this is the bounce back race in the soaking wet. marc puts a lot of pressure on valentino here, it's 2015, what more do you want? late pressure from other riders too, a signature valentino wet weather ride

misano 2015*: big twists, big turns, massive title fight implications. a flag-to-flag race where both title contenders perhaps don't get it quite right... a lot of chaos where bike swap timing makes all the difference. a truly excellent performance from the winner

sachsenring 2016: no prizes for guessing who won this one, but way more jeopardy than the average visit to the circuit. marc just got these flag-to-flags bang on so often, and it's fun watching him secure what at one stage looked like rather an unlikely victory

brno 2016**: if you can, go into this one without being spoiler-ed, because I promise you that you will not be able to guess the podium combination after the first few laps. a lot of this race ends up being about tyre choice. a slow burn but a goody

misano 2017**: in that stretch of 2017 where every race is a Big Title Fight Race, which makes it so fun 2017 had so many of those in the wet. a fun race throughout, but the last lap is particularly daring and memorable. a signature marc performance

motegi 2017**: a race that gradually builds to a dovi/marc duel - and the additional jeopardy added by the conditions makes it something special. one hell of a last lap

sepang 2017**: first match point race, just to add a little extra drama to proceedings. a lot of tense wobbling about as dovi attempts to navigate his way back to the lead of the race - including past his rather stubborn teammate. excellent performance under high pressure from dovi

valencia 2018*: the conditions get so poor you do get several crashes that just make for unpleasant viewing... when they finally red flag it, the field is severely depleted, then it's broadly more of the same. defo a good race if 'chaos' is what you're looking for

le mans 2020*: entire race on wet track. I don't remember the 1st half of this being all that exciting, but once it gets going it's just SUCH dumb chaos, in a title fight that's all about dumb chaos

austria 2021**: a race that will be remembered more than anything because of the crazy way in which it was won. the whole race is fun, but the last few laps are kinda unforgettable

motegi 2023*: quite fun to have a flag-to-flag this late in the championship fight! the title contenders feature heavily in this one and there's enough shake-ups in the order to keep things interesting. psa: this race doesn't get restarted. pretty short

honourable mentions: valencia 2001, estoril 2002, jerez 2004, estoril 2005, le mans 2007, assen 2011, phillip island 2011, assen 2016, le mans 2021, argentina 2023