#and i cannot stress enough im not in genuine physical danger these are just phantom pains they are just three times as bad as most years
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#once again i dont expect any reactions but this phantom pain is worse than it has been any other year i can genuinely already feel#the entry point and the point where it settled by the spine and its not even 6:50 am edt yet#its probably worse this year bc we’re doing pre emdr prep in therapy#but oh my god that and the emotional aspect of it i genuinely feel like im goingg to die rn#like im propped up in bed pressing black tourmaline and ammolite against the right side of my ribs#and while i was getting the pillows and crystals and bedside drinks ready i almost passed out from the pain#and i cannot stress enough im not in genuine physical danger these are just phantom pains they are just three times as bad as most years#probs just gonna watch nancy drew all night to try to not focus on the pain#but i have to work tomorrow night and theres gonna be a lot to do
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