#and i challanged myself to really try to make this with the background in mind

[eiirishi]

LILIENNE, THE NET PICKER - "Isn't it strange," she breaks the silence abruptly, "For this all-powerful thing, the sun... to be so generous towards us? You know, the best time to go out fishing is usually toward sunset, when the water is warmer..."

The @palestaticexchange is back and I couldn't pass up participating in it again. So here is my art of the Kim Kitsuragi for @siliconesausage :]

[nervousruinscreation]

So I think I put my finger on something that bothered me?

Or doesn’t bother me anymore?

Or something that I am working on?

So after the first couple weeks so far of this class it has felt odd and i haven’t been able to put my finger on what the source of the issue is. 

And i think i have figuired it out.

And I’m going to try to express is.

So in Australia there is very much this culture of tall poppies sydrome, this idea that someone who thinks that they are great are probably dickheads. 

This effects the way that we look at our politicans here.

So many people want a politician who is relatable or representative of the everyday ‘aussie’ battler. They like ‘Albo’ better than Bill Shorten. They champion people like Jackie Lambie, or Pauline Hanson, or Even Nick Xenophon, because they are more accessible. They seem more average. They like the idea of some bogan like themselves getting into parliment and ripping into them.

But also shouldn’t we want our politicans to be brilliant?

Like shouldn’t our leaders be educated and what not?

-

I think we are very uncomfortable generally speaking with talking about what we are good at, or thinking that we are good. And this manifests in different ways

People get upset for thinking that someone who is confident in themselves is up themselves.

People who are doing the most, are doing too much.

and we also internalise it.

we don’t like to toot our own horn, or to talk about careers, or how great we are doing. 

and I don’t know if its projection but then we also do this to other people.

theres a person on my facebook feed, who i swear every fb status that i see is just self promotion. talking about their great grades. achievements, getting accepted as speakers for conferences. projects. whatever. its like a feed of ‘I AM SO GREAT’ - and i hate that my intial thought is ‘what a dickhead’. And then i question WHY AM I THINKING THAT? STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE. THEY ARE DOING NOTHING WRONG. CHILL OUT DUDE.

and like if i am being honest, in the first presentation when part of the slideshow i was bothered by having a tour of Tom’s CV to some extent - I was like pfftt why are not talking about the course content or assignments,- BUT like it is relavent and helpful, and good to know about people’s background. its not actually a bad thing. and again telling myself to CHILL OUT. 

like in a way i think it was a great insight into a culture clash between australian’s and americans.

americans seem much more confident at talking about their achievements and australians aren’t. 

theres this podcast that i really like called ‘being honest with my ex’ (https://www.beinghonestwithmyex.com/listen) Where Peter and Honor Eastly have candid conversations. and he talks about wanting to move to the US partially because of tall poppies because people are so weirded out by thinking that he’s great and that other people are great.

i think the most frustrating thing about this bad habit, its that i think i have also copped it from tall poppies. 

like i have been very uh extra curicular, with doing art exhibitions, winning jobs, being a featured artist, winning grants and very open and passionate about it. And people who i thought were my friends started being mean to me, for what seemed like no season? like they wouldn’t rock up to my things, and just seemed very non-decript salty. wouldn’t ever say congratulations or celebrate in the same way that i did for them.

So it just seems to be a massive circle when I feel like i have also been that salty friend.

Its been the worst when my situation has been bad - stuck in bad jobs, bad sharehouses or relationships. 

so maybe with all of that in mind doing a subject thats all about self development and hearing from successful folk like laurie anderson is obviously going to be a challange. 

but i actually think that knowing what this uncomfy itchy feeling is, makes it way easier to tame the beast. And that uncomfortable feeling is GROWTH.

so in response to the tall poppies beast this is what i am going to work on every week:

intentionally tell people when they are great, or doing good affirm people for their good work

celebrate other peoples wins.

but also get comfortable with thinking about the things that i am good about

and try to celebrate my own success or get comfy with it. 

what a weird inner turmoil right.