#and i dont want to be self concious about it next monday

[khihi]

i've completely forgotten how to do makeup, i feel like that one ig post jere made with the mulan reference right now

[yeshuas-sons-of-thunder]

so i traveled the united states for three years on and off ive been off the streets for 6 months now after being radically touched by my father and having my slavery to drugs alcohol and women broken, i had this chain attached to my soul yearning to find truth and follow in the steps of a brother named Christopher mccandless. alexander supertramp, little did i know this was just a story that the divine master of my life used to get me that much closer to him, i had never been chased or pursued by anyone in the whole world like my father chased me, through sleeping around with women across the country ruining their lives and mine and doing everyday drug possible from meth to weed, and acid and shrooms convincing myself i was my own god and that this reality was mine and i could do what i wanted with it, but death faced off with me every morning in the face of others and in my situation of being stuck in this fleshly prison, the creator thought this through forcing us to stay in this prison cell to truly find a way out only coming to realize in my life he was the way out, i was hiding in drugs day by day hiding at the bottom of a bottle when really all i needed was to hide out in him "he is my refuge" although i walked through the valley of death i felt protectance over me in the scariest ghettos and craziest situations, i lived in hell in a reality of hell for months allowing the god of this world the evil one to blind me and manipulate me through my traumas and wounds of depression rebellion rejection and dysfunctionality, finally he broke through, JESHUAS Love broke through, i was in SLAB CITY when the god of the universe, my papa came to speak to me, he had a messenger waiting there in slabs for me, i was a dirty kid with a dog and a sense and wish for purpose in my life not just wandering forever till i died which was what i was gonna do to prove i was a "man" or a hardcore guy. the hardest man gets broken by this world, nothing of this world is good, this flesh is a hell if your living a life for the flesh, it lives then it dies but i knew there was something eternal in me, my spirit nagged at me daily telling me there was more to this concious reality thn i dare to know. so i searched spiritually through acid and psychadelics, until i started having these awful spiritual attacks about ufos and aliens controlling my reality and a load of garbage all straight from the depths of sheol. someone something was trying to hinder me from finding out who i wtruly was and what im becoming to be and who my "real creator is" see the god of this world the"father of lies" puts blinders on those who are of the world, but when god revealed himself his true self to me everything changed i realized i was being chased and loved by something or someone so much bigger than me, he held my hand while i walked this country and hitched and hopped trains trying to figure out what in gods good name was i here for? an ant on the biggest space rock with a bilion other ants trying to figure out this whole mess too. im telling you it took all my self respect and admitting that i am nothing to finally realize who my daddy is, i hated him and rejected him for years i wanted to live this life my way, not "his" way and thats pepoples problem now adays we dont wanna admit we live sinfully and horribly because we know we'd have to lose all our self respect and our knowledge and everything we worked hard for in this life to get us to where we are in the first place, and to have to ask for forgiveness is our biggest weakness, we think "i dont need your forgiveness" id rather die than ask for it. but is heaven worth a little humiliation? for me yes, i couldnt go a day without his light his touch , paracleto's you are my everything. i made it back to oregon when i had encounter after soup kitchen another one of jehovas messenger of his holy army, his name was brian, he was a tatted up older military vet and he came up to me and my dog taco, i had these georgous dreads down to my shoulders and i looked like a dirty hippie, this false identity and this guy comes up to me and prophecy's my next five months, that id have these divine appoiintments and that id be marked by yawheh which is exactly what happened, that day i was marked for heavenly Purposes and longer the ambitions of the world. I've been sober for two months now and off the streets for 6 with my dog taco, ive been pursuing the lord everyday, i want people to get past their troubles and realize jesus didnt die so you could go to church every sunday and "Act" like you love god, i'd die for my lord i'd die like he died he' says pick up your cross and follow me, jesus means come die so you can actually live, i will live through you! in and through you touching his people and his children who dont know about christ and dont know of kingdom. dont ever let christians who dont actually have an intimate relationship with the king of kings ruin the idea of what a true beleive or baptized in holy spirit person might be like, the majority of the church goes to church to sing hymns and play the part of a goody too shoe christian when they sin every other dya of the week go to church sunday and play with themselves monday through saturday, saturated in the demonic instead of embraced by the king. i got baptized in the HOLY SPIRIT and thats when my life changed, not when i prayed "jesus come into my heart" which still allows the king to come do some work but you HAVE TO BE MADE INTO A NEW CREATION, he needs to touch you, no wonder so many people dont beleive in jesus BECAUSE they have never been touched physically by him becuae CHRISTIANS ARENT DOING THEYRE GOD GIVEN DUTY TO CAST OUT DEMONS AND HEAL THE SICK AND OPRESSED FEED THE HUNGRY not go to church then talk about football and get ready for super bowl sunday. IM HERE TO CAST DEMONS OUT OF PEOPLE AND TO HEAL MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND TO GET TO KNOW MY PAPA. how bout you? all creation is evidence that our aftehr created us we have no excuse to say otherwise that this all happened by accident. i asked holy spirit to touch me and to make himself real to me and he did, i walked up to the front of a gathering and this heat and electricity from heaven fell down my arms and i started prophecying in my prayer language emediately broken into tears and laughin uncontrollably . i was touched and hugged by my creator he touched me and told me im not alone through his actions and his electricity. never had i ever realized i was so far from alone in this enormous world. i dare you anyone reading this to call on him" Call on jeshua, the holy spirit to come bring his fire and to touch you and to change your life to forgive you of oyur transgression, to take awyay your pains, tell him to give you an idea of oyur identity he made you for, your destiny. you werent made for you, you were made for him. and the best thing an all consuming god can give you is himself. if he gives you the world he hates you, if he gives you himself he loves you. i love you brothers and sisters thats my story in short. im eternal ill never die and its not by my works or by my deeds is by grace alone that i was lifted out the pit, and i was rescued and enlightened and soon to be in full revelation of who my god truly is. he's more treal than the air you breathe, just dare yourself to knock on that door of calling on jesus holy spirit if he isnt real then you have nothing to worry about, but if he is.. then you have everything to gain. everything in your life to lose to gain everything in him. he's umcomparable to this world you cant compare anything to the life to come after this but whoever your god is here is who youll sever for eternity do you wanna serve an empty beer bottle in hell or do you wanna serve and live and dwell in the heart of your creator? stand with the world and be judged by god or stand with god and judge the whole world. share your testimony with me i'd love to hear from more of my brothers and sisters! god bless you and lets press into him intimately lay it all down and lets get to know our daddy and our big brother. he payed such a price for you to take away eerything you neer wanted, give him your baggage your carrying in life its not yours anymore its his to carry. love love love!