#and i genuinely wish tom annihilates him soon

[vivantesopales]

ok??? but the unexpected tombraxas hotness in metalo’s prison blues is giving me LIFE???

[sssshhhthefilmsabouttostart]

The best and worst films of 2018

If after watching 112 films teaches you anything, it's that Hollywood will continue to pump out the franchise blockbusters - and audiences will still hand over their cash to see them, no matter how below average or unoriginal they may be.

Cinematically, 2018 was a year that marked the final screen appearances for both Robert Redford (’The Old Man and the Gun’) and Daniel Day-Lewis (’Phantom Thread’), heralded Bradley Cooper’s impressive directorial debut (’A Star Is Born), served up an innovative high-tech thriller (’Searching’) and bestowed the most gob-smacking showdown involving MCU’s greatest heroes and villains (’Avengers: Infinity War’).

It was also a very good year for Netflix loyalists who saw the company release a succession of well received films including ’Annihilation,’ ‘Roma,’ and ‘The Ballad of Buster Scruggs.’

Despite Dirty Harry’s memorable comment that “opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one,” the films that have made this year’s ‘best list’ have been selected on the basis of the lasting impression they have left on this viewer after the lights have come up and the curtain’s been drawn.

So, what succeeded and what failed?

Ladies and gentlemen, may we please offer for your consideration…

50. THE OLD MAN AND THE GUN

49. INCREDIBLES 2

48. FILM STARS DON’T DIE IN LIVERPOOL

47. THE POST

46. CHAPPAQUIDDICK

45. RED SPARROW

44. GAME NIGHT

43. DEADPOOL 2

42. BOY ERASED

41. WIDOWS

40. STRONGER     

39. MOLLY’S GAME

38. FAHRENHEIT 11/9  

37. THE DARKEST HOUR

36. FIRST REFORMED

35. A STAR IS BORN

34. ISLE OF DOGS

33. BREATH

32. THE WIFE

31. READY PLAYER ONE

30. BLACK PANTHER

29. WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOUR

28. BRIGSBY BEAR

27. LADY BIRD

26. SICARIO: DAY OF THE SOLDADO

25. BEAUTIFUL BOY

24. PHANTOM THREAD

23. GHOST STORIES

22. FIRST MAN

21. TULLY

20. I, TONYA

19. SUSPIRIA

18. RBG 

17. THE FAVOURITE

16. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY 

15. MANDY

14. BRAWL IN CELL BLOCK 99 

13. SEARCHING 

12. A QUIET PLACE

11. BLACKKKLANSMAN

10. SWEET COUNTRY

The Australian ‘western’ is a genre all its own, and ‘Sweet Country’ was the finest example of its type. Both Warwick Thornton's direction and Dylan Rivers’ cinematography was outstanding, as were all of the lead acting performances. Shot in both Central and South Australia, ‘Sweet Country’ transcended the genre’s tropes to tell us a quintessentially Australian story, albeit a bloody, brutal and tragic one. 

9. VICE

As with his previous film ‘The Big Short,’ writer/director Adam McKay set aside the clean, colourful look of his comedies (’Anchorman,’ ‘Step Brothers’) in favour of a washed-out, edgy look, with the frequent use of hand-held cameras. The entire ensemble - including Steve Carell, Sam Rockwell and Amy Adams - were all impressive but it was Christian Bale’s skilful and highly effective portrayal of former VP Dick Cheney that deservedly received the kudos from critics everywhere. 

8. THE ENDLESS

Indie filmmakers Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead, wrote, directed and starred in this terrific slow burner about two brothers who decide to revisit their childhood UFO death cult for some closure. Initially, the film’s daunting atmosphere gave the impression that this horror/sci-fi would follow the usual story ‘beats’ that accompany the genre. But after some mind-bending twists, ‘The Endless’ soon switched from being about a crazed cult into something else!

7. SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE

It’s no secret that Sony’s last few attempts with the character of Spider-Man have been underwhelming to say the least. However, this rousingly entertaining superhero adventure was easily 2018′s most unexpected surprise. The film’s impressive animation was beautiful, fluid and unique, whilst the storyline was both compelling and genuinely funny. What can we say - we finally got the ‘Spider-Man’ movie everybody wanted. It’s OK Sony, we now forgive you for ‘The Emoji Movie.’

6. THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI

Sadly robbed of the Best Picture gong at last year’s Academy Awards, this third movie from award-winning playwright Martin McDonagh (‘In Bruges,’ ‘Seven Psychopaths’) was a dramedy that started with cleverness and wit before opening up into something truthfully human. McDonagh’s screenplay was so good that every single cast member, no matter how little their screen time, gave a great performance.

5. AMERICAN ANIMALS

In this true-crime movie, four bright and well-off college students in Kentucky plot to steal some rare books from their university's Special Collections Library in a misguided quest for personal glory. Written and directed by Bart Layton, ‘American Animals’ cleverly woven script was narrated by the heist's actual participants, bringing a fascinating layer to the proceedings as well as a connection between the characters and audience.

4. AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR

It may have been the most intense, complex and stirring MCU film yet, but it was as lean as epics get, with none of its nearly two-and-a-half-hour running time feeling wasted. While the many characters and intersecting plots may have confused casual viewers (it’s assumed audiences are now familiar with all that's come before), for fans, it was one mind-blowing moment after another.

3. MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - FALLOUT

Who would have thought that a 20+ year franchise would have been able to deliver one of the most exciting and visceral action films in recent memory? ‘Fallout’ saw the stepping up of both the action and the stakes, with the personal screws tightened on Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and the horrible consequences for failure. Love him or hate him, Cruise's performance was lean and focused, whilst Christopher MacQuarrie’s direction was effective and thrilling, always hitting every action beat - dead centre.

2. YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE

Director Lynne Ramsay’s bleak yet effective thriller about a broken and tormented ex-military vigilante (Joaquin Phoenix), who makes a living rescuing kidnapped girls and making the perpetrators violently pay with a hammer, was a dark and twisting journey into one man’s soul. Ramsay's filmmaking powers and script, combined with Phoenix's committed, unadorned performance and Johnny Greenwood's absolutely superb soundtrack, easily delivered one of this year’s most standout movies.

1. HEREDITARY

Although it polarised audiences everywhere, ‘Hereditary’ was a refreshing example of a studio (A24) subverting expectations and the perfect showcase of what horror is capable of when taken seriously.

Even as the film ventured into territory familiar to its genre, writer/director Ari Aster skillfully orchestrated the tension into something that felt like a nightmare straight from hell. What begins as a drama about a family tearing apart with grief, slowly descends into madness and the supernatural. 

Rather than rely on a ‘conveyor belt’ of jump scares strung together with a derivative story which exists purely as a vehicle to deliver those jump scares, ‘Hereditary’ put family drama at the forefront and milked every ounce of dread from the hideous realities of familial cohabitation for what they’re worth. 

Whilst the film’s cinematography, production design and score were all some of the best the horror genre has seen, it was the performances that finally sold ‘Hereditary,’ notably Toni Collette’s tormented turn as a manic mother who is mourning the loss of a parent. 

‘Hereditary’ didn’t just redefine horror - it successfully put its own wicked stamp on the tropes of the genre, and provided audiences everywhere with a truly unsettling experience.

Hail Paimon!

…AND NOW, THE WORST!

20. VENOM

19. THE MEG

18. MILE 22

17. WINCHESTER

16. LIFE OF THE PARTY

15. BLOCKERS

14. SKYSCRAPER

13. THE WEDDING GUEST

12. DEATH WISH

11. BOAR

10. THE NUN

Sadly, this fifth chapter in the ‘Conjuring’ universe was nowhere near as scary, inspired or coherent as its predecessors. The quick onslaught of jump scares, punctuated by sudden noises on the soundtrack, quickly dashed the hopes of viewers who saw the entire exercise as a colossal waste of time (not to mention that the titular character was almost ‘missing’ in her own movie). 

9. THE PREDATOR

This was a prime example as to how you kill a franchise. ‘The Predator’ was so bad, it made both ‘AVP’ movies look like modern day masterpieces. Whilst the acting and storyline were awful, the film suffered from plot holes, the lack of any kind of script, the constant desperate dramatic music featured relentlessly throughout and the forced jokes. Why director Shane Black thought injecting a comedy script into this franchise was a good idea is anyone's guess. 

8. THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS

Brian Henson, son of the legendary Jim Henson and the director of ‘The Muppet Christmas Carol’ and ‘Muppet Treasure Island,’ somehow thought this juvenile attempt at humour was a good idea. Instead, it did the most offensive thing that a comedy could ever do - it failed to make you laugh. 

7. THE SPY WHO DUMPED ME

This forgettable and redundant comedy, from its tired title to its forced acting and humour, tried desperately to be everything at once and ended up being nothing at all. Given the talent involved, one would have expected some semblance of subtly and finesse to let these strong performers elevate the material as they've been known to in the past. However, when the material was as blunt as a sledgehammer, there wasn’t much anyone could have done. 

6. GRINGO

Despite its polished production values and stellar cast, ‘Gringo’ amounted to an absolute bust. Director Nash Egerton’s unsavoury and amoral comedy of errors qualified as something contrived, convoluted and ultimately incoherent. Crammed with a myriad of ‘madcap’ situations that weren’t even remotely funny or original, this crappy caper failed to keep up with its talented cast who struggled in their portrayal of such unpleasant stereotypes.

5. PACIFIC RIM: UPRISING

CGI vomit. 

4. THE 15:17 TO PARIS

Anybody desperately wanting to watch this train wreck should fast forward the first hour and six minutes. Clint Eastwood’s effort to pay tribute to the three brave men who foiled the 2015 Thalys train attack was a cinematic misfire of epic proportions. The bold step of having the real-life heroes play themselves was a bad call (awkward delivery, mumbled lines), whilst the film also had an underlying Christian/pro-gun/pro-military vibe about it.  

3. ROBIN HOOD

From the over-the-top bow and arrow fights to the bizarre mix of costumes, ‘Robin Hood’ was comparable to Guy Ritchie’s disastrous reimagining of ‘King Arthur,’ only worse. Far worse. This umpteenth version of the legendary heroic outlaw was severely lacking in the entertainment and thrills department, and continued the Hollywood tradition of blockbuster remakes absolutely falling on their arses.

2. ACTION POINT

The ‘Jackass’ films were great, but this dismal wannabe ‘Caddyshack’ or ‘Porky’s’ left audiences longing for the relative artistry and sophistication of the crazy lads’ glory days. ‘Action Point’ was a predictable, exceptionally cheap and humourless affair, a watershed moment in terms of anyone ever bank rolling a feature film for these guys again. RIP gentlemen, it was a fun ride.

1. HOLMES AND WATSON

It’s all elementary as to which film was by far the very worst of 2018.

Everything about ‘Holmes and Watson’ was lazy, incompetent and decidedly unfunny. This shockingly misguided assault of repetitive bad slapstick and terrible writing squandered the remarkable talents of John C. Reilly, Rebecca Hall, Steve Coogan, Kelly Macdonald, Ralph Fiennes and Hugh Lawrie, and saw Will Ferrell give what was easily the worst performance of his entire career.

This was no ‘Step Brothers’ - this was pure, unadulterated garbage.