#and i never knew how cheap everything was at aldis. i saw a pack of chip ahoys and them bitches always remind me of my dad

[todayisafridaynight]

FIRST OF ALL DAIGO GAMEPLAY REAL

Second of all finished Chapter 1 <3 I watched an Xbox stream muted at 2x while skipping battles because I wanted to save the proper experience for my friend's stream and your stream but uhhhhh <3 without saying too much or setting any expectations <3 personal favorite Kiryu game no contest LOL but I figured it would be so no surprises there... I'm def taking note of how long individual chapters might take and stuff since this wasn't exactly an Optimal Playthrough but we'll get there when we get there

DAIGO GAMEPLAY REEEEEEEEEAL 🗣️🗣️🗣️ OBSESSED WITH HOW HE JUMP KICKS SON STOP THAT YOU'RE GONNA HURT YOURSELF--

but gottamn already done with chapter 1- VERY MUCH APPRECIATE MAKIN MENTAL NOTES ON CHAPTER LENGTHS if that gameplay wasnt optimal then heh 😏 i promise to be worse 😏

[shark-myths]

I was tagged by @beckettsthoughts,  which, thank you. <3 <3 <3

RULES: Always post the rules. Answer the  questions asked, then write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people to answer your  questions, as well as the person who tagged you.

THEIR QUESTIONS

1. What is something  you’ve seen in person that you never thought you’d see in person? (E.g. rare  or bizarre wildlife, a dream destination, a celebrity)

Literally in a  parking lot I saw a raven using salsa. It was dipping its fucking parking lot  scavenge food in a little paper cup of SALSA. What the ACTUAL fuck???

2. What book/movie  do you keep saying you want to read/watch but know you probably never will?

Let’s be real, I am never going to get through The Silmarillion, I am a  low person of low quality

3. What song will  you forever associate with school dances or discos? 

GET LOW! And also, um, the Cha-Cha Slide. I’m old.

4. What’s your  favourite supermarket to shop at? Why is it better than all the others? 

Trader Joe’s. It is the fucking best in all ways. They have a lot of  random delicious items that I’m in love with, they have the best chocolate,  they have my favorite wine and it’s under $4 a bottle, they have dorky cute  house brands like “Trader Jose’s” for their Mexican food, I like their red  quinoa and dried pineapple and sweetened coconut chips and maple cookies, and  there are always samples and you can get produce there that actually has  flavor, is affordable, and is not ROTTEN like all the produce in Mississippi.  Also a favorite is ALDI, which is super cheap and offers pantry staples $2-3  cheaper than anywhere else and has a lot of types of food that are no longer  accessible to me now that we live somewhere without one—like, who can pay $8  for a pack of pancetta for her pizza sauce? Not this dude. At ALDI that shit  was $3. The working poor need dried Italian meats too.

5. Do you have any  local myths or legends? 

CUBA ROAD. It was just this creepy road and if you went down it at  midnight you would like, either not come back at all or come back horribly  changed. It was Haunted. No one I know who braved it ever saw anything but I also  only knew like, one person who dared try. I certainly didn’t.

6. How did you meet  your best friend? 

ON THE INTERNET READING FANFICTION, that’s actually how I meet almost  all of my significant relationships. not even joking. I just give my home address  and phone number to strangers on the internet, it’s been working out pretty  well the past 14 years

7. Think of the best  teacher you ever had at school, what were they like and why were they the  best?

to be honest with you, I have completed 24 years of formal fucking  education and I have had so many teachers, trying to pick the best one is  shredding my heart! I had one teacher for Anatomy who was really passionate  and gave us these embarrassing activities like doing autopsies on pickles  (she had dressed them up and given them wounds, like toothpick splinters and  ball-bearing bullets) and hypothesizing about cause of death; I had an  amazing ball-buster history teacher who yelled at me in class once for  working on homework for another teacher and from that moment on I adored her;  I had a really intelligent professor with really high standards who taught  psychopharmacology and I worked the hardest I ever have to do well in his  class because I respected him so much; I had a really excitable professor  from Luxemborg who I took a “gender benders” in lit and history class with  who was amazing and kind to me even though at that point I was too anxious to  ever speak; I recently took Medical Anthropology with a greek woman who  shouted about politics and biomedicine daily and just thinks about things as  a hobby and I want to be her when I grow up and she let me write my entire  term paper on how mad I was at sexism in my field of study.

The trends in what I like are: passion/enthusiasm; having high standards;  not being nice to me to try to get me to like them. because I’m broken in  strange and interesting way the quickest thing a teacher can do to lose my  respect is try to make me like them. Like, be kind of a dick to me and then  praise me for killing myself on papers to win your approval, that’s all I want.

8. Have you ever had  any funny holiday/vacation mishaps? 

once when I was interviewing for a graduate school program I was given  a hotel room by the school, which was pretty decent of them—they had this  weird on-site hotel—and I was all prepared to settle in, had my shit spread  all over both beds, when in came the OTHER APPLICANT I was apparently sharing  the room with. This was terribly embarrassing. I had an anxiety disorder at  the time, was easily embarrassed & soooooo behaviorally inhibited. Anyway,  long story short, I forgot to pack pajamas so instead of saying that like a  normal person, I just… pretended really casually like I always slept in the  same sweater I’d worn all day and wormed out of my jeans under the covers

9. Speaking of  holidays and vacations, what are the best and worst holidays you’ve ever been  on?

best: the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for my honeymoon, a spring  break trip to Toronto, a wedding in Martha’s Vineyard, going to Boulder for  the first time and spending a week with @simplydalektable and the way everything  was made of sunshine and gold and I didn’t need food or sleep or anything but  her

worst: when I was 15 and my parents took me and my half-brothers to a  remote cabin in the wilderness with no internet and it was during the days  when texting and phone calls like, existed but you had to pay tremendously to  enjoy them so they were Outlawed and everyone was tense and mad at each other  and bored because like, we are not equipped to socialize who would think locking  us all into one room was a good idea; once when I was depressed at Disney  World with my mom and all I could think about was how I was supposed to enjoy  it more and everyone was mad at me because I was an Angsty Adolescent; these  are pretty mild horrors, my life is pretty good

10. Do you collect  anything? Did you collect anything when you were younger?

I used to collect comic books with great seriousness! Now I collect  band shit and copies of Lord of the Rings, my favorite anything ever. I have  4 editions currently, which is not nearly enough. I collect books in general  with fervency.

11. What led you  create a tumblr blog, however long ago that may be? 

oh my god this is the most me thing ever, but there was an art festival  in the town I was living in and some old fucking white dude entered a project  that was Commentary On The Youths or some shit and used the selfies of young  girls that he took from the internet to criticize millennials for being  shallow???? Like, that is a form of cultural appropriation, these girls are  growing up in a society that allows them some modicum of control over their  own image and they’re using it to explore and define themselves and own their  own selves for one fucking moment in their lives, and You, some Gross Old  Dude, are just putting your slimy hands in there and like, trying to make a  Point about something you can’t possibly understand????? And I was so angry I  decided I was going to do my OWN selfie project (I’m in year 2 now; I was  daily in year 1 but I’ve been slacking the last six months), so I made this  blog, and for the first year I used it only for posting my daily selfies. like  every fucking other thing in my life, I created this blog out of pure rage.  (someday I will tell you the story of how I became so mad at the field of  clinical psychology that I decided to become a clinical psychologist, and  somehow powered through 8 years of torturous education on that anger alone)

And for the second  part of this, I tag @xabjectlessonsx @crhiscornell @syndestruction @time-less @immoral-crow @we-are-the-weirdos-mister @oceanjade345 and any of you lovelies who would like to!

MY QUESTIONS

1. What is the  sickest you’ve ever been and why?

2. What is your  favorite thing to drink?

3. What song do you  use to deal with your emotions? How does it work—does it suppress them or let  you express them?

4. If you could only  watch one movie for the rest of your life, it would be:

5. Favorite myth, legend, or fairy tale?

6. If you had a  perfectly self-centered wish you could make, what would you wish for?

7. Tell me about  your pets.

8. In your  opinion, what is the most perfect record ever made? (Doesn’t have to be your  favorite)

9. What’s your  favorite thing about space?

10. What are you  nostalgic for?

11. List 5  words you think everyone should start using more.

[tearjar-blog]

Today I Realized I Was Poor

Before you preemptively judge me, no, this isn’t some stupid asinine post about “OMG I can’t even afford an iPhone!” This is actually a post about how I just realized the day after Christmas and seeing everyone’s Facebook pictures of all their holidays, that I am actually quite freaking poor and I wasn’t even aware. I guess I just live so simply and didn’t notice. I’ve never been extravagant in my life ever and I’ve always been a saver. Granted this was because I grew up in a saving household and we clipped coupons and didn’t waste. I guess I grew up poor. Probably why I didn’t notice. Anyway. I’m on Facebook this morning and I’m seeing all my friends who I thought was in the same boat as me with ALL these presents piled up around this BEAUTIFUL Christmas tree. The inside of their houses are AMAZING! They have hardwood floors and tan walls, nice windows and furniture to sit on. Like, I’m astonished because I remember earlier in the year commenting about money in general and they were all saying how they wish things were cheaper etc. I related to that because we were barely getting by. So their comment was everything and I felt they knew the struggle. But no, like these people are SURROUNDED by presents and wrapping paper. It’s Christmas heaven!! It looks so nice and pretty and so much fun. I know these people- they scrimp and save all the time. I hear them complain about money and how everything is so high now days. But yet I don’t actually see them give up anything because of all this “scrimping.” When I’m scrimping, I’m truly without and I can’t drive anywhere or eat dinner or pay my electric. I’m selling all my beloved possessions, aka the ones I’ll miss the least (because let’s face it, when you’re poor, everything means so much to you and when you don’t realize it, you wonder why it hurts so much to lose just minor things), trying to return unused items, just anything to get by. I don’t get how their “scrimping” and my “scrimping” are so different. What am I doing wrong? I see these people eating out or getting drive through. I’m always like “ha, man that’d be nice, just to roll up to the drive through when you’re hungry and just order an onslaught of food.” Instead I’m looking for a grocery store to use my food stamps card to buy a sandwhich and a water bottle. But I hear the same people complain about fast food being such a waste and how “you can’t always eat out and expect to save money!” I feel bad and nearly cry when I see a McDonalds/BK or Sonic and my kid gets all excited and I can’t pull in every time (or at all) and get him his $4 happy meal. My kid is special needs and my heart breaks because I feel he deserves the world. Instead, we’re looking for an ALDI or DollarTree to buy cheap snacks like animal crackers or cheese crackers for $1 on food stamps for the trip that day. Sometimes we save old McDoanlds cartons and put our kids snacks in those so he doesn’t realize it’s not actually from the places. Little kids are keen on experience too. Like how is this not normal? And clothing- like I saw brand new Nike’s and Jordan’s on Facebook. Even some Payless and Walmart shoesies on there. I saw boxes of brand new clothes and Northface and Carhartt jackets for everyone. Under Armour stuff even. Dang, like I hit up the resell store in town that benefits the homeless and domestic abuse victims for all my clothes. I pay $1-2 for a shirt and cringe bc I only have $22 to get gas, snacks and a new work shirt or socks or a pair of work pants because my husbands split his out while working. It’s no big deal for my husband to have the soles come unglued off his shoes and he duct tape his shoes back together and keep on working. We just laugh and keep on going. We always say “I’m making a new trend,” or “I’ll hit up the resale shop later.” It’s not uncommon for strangers to give my husband shoes. I also saw all these massive kitchens with all the food and big dinners. Meanwhile, we ran out of food stamps 2 weeks in because we have a hungry toddler and $390 for 4 people, 2 kiddos and 2 adults just doesn’t cut it, especially when they’re hungry and you have to buy baby formula with your food stamps. Adult food doesn’t get bought, just kid snacks. Buying a big container of peanut butter and bread is normal. Ramen noodles are a luxury. The Catholic Church came by and gave us a food basket and angel tree gifts for our kids this year so we could have turkey dinner for Christmas. But seriously, how are these people able to afford so many pies and cakes, big hams and wine. We buy the $1 liter of Coca Cola at Dollar General and think we’re doing good. I look around my house and while I have nice things I realize in comparison to everyone else, my things aren’t really normal. It’s normal and nice to me but I feel they’re probably not as nice as others would assume. I always wondered why we always seem to have so many people give us random presents. I did get my kids Christmas presents, so it’s not like we don’t have anything. I bought them on clearance at Ross. I guess I’m just realizing that after seeing people get concert tickets for Christmas, nice clothes, iPhones, laptops, good shoes, that maybe taking apart the $4.98 5 pack of socks I got at Walmart into individual pairs and wrapping those to make extra gifts, probably is first class poor people behavior. I have pretty cute decorations in my house (I think) but I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that I buy them at garage sales or pick them up out of the trash and re-work them. And not like “pinterest” style. Like DUMPSTER DIVING, what can I find cool to keep, it what can I find and resell for money?? I’m often the person going around to my friends buying their old throw aways to use/wear/decorate. I feel like people see me excited over their old junk and they feel sorry for me. I’m starting to see it now. I really am poor and just didn’t know it. I mean, we wear the same clothes in every picture. That’s because that all the nice clothes we have and it’s easy to rewash them and wear them out places. Doctor appointments, shopping for small stuff, paying bills up town. Our dryer doesn’t work to heat up so we dry clothes in front is the wall heater. Takes a while but it works. I bet that isn’t normal either. But I see my kids faces. They don’t have all the toys the other kids have. People come over and see him room and ask where all his toys are. Toys?? Blankets don’t count as toys?? Happy meal freebie toys don’t count as toys?? He has the same toys he’s had for the past few years. New toys isn’t a thing around here. Neither are story books or coloring books and crayons. I just can’t afford them. I’d love to have a bookshelf of story books and picture cards for my kiddos. Or coloring books and the good crayons. Not the cheapy ones that don’t actually color or leave random streaky marks when you finally put enough pressure and color. I’d like to have his room full of Tonka trucks, Mickey Mouse race cars and that stupid ride on car I couldn’t afford on lay away at WalMart that I’m sure some other little kid is riding on today... God my heart hurts making me type that. Me and Daddy picked that car out and had been so hoping to get it. Our kiddo has been through so much medical issues this year we wanted to get him a really big gift. The Mickey Mouse race car that you drive around the yard. Every little kid has one. Except mine. This is why you don’t ever make plans that involve money. I see it now..... I can’t even afford my special needs kid ONLY toy on lay away of $165 over 3 months or get my other new baby any toys or clothes other than diapers, wipes and formula as a present on food stamps and the last of our cash. I applied for TANF and LIHEAP hoping to pay my electric so I could have extra to buy his freaking toy. :( Wow. :( I kinda wanna die. Screw Christmas. I’m the worst parent ever. I really am that poor.