#and i think the parallel between 001 getting electrocuted by brenner and then by the upside down lighting will probably play into this guilt

[thelostsisters]

i think el is gonna feel so guilty when she sees vecna, not because the show wants the audience to sympathize with him, but because of something we’ve seen with el throughout the season: she hates inflicting pain upon others, even if she’s only indirectly/not even at all responsible. it’s part of her compassionate nature, it’s a part of who she is.

when 002 is getting electrocuted, we see el watching in absolute terror, as if she’s feeling guilty for the situation. of course we know it isn’t her fault; 002 was the one who antagonized her in the first place, and was the one who spoke up during the interrogation which made brenner suspicious. and brenner was the one who decided to use a literal torture method as a means of punishment on a child. yet el sees him being hurt, and knows that the situation that caused this does involve her in a way, and she feels guilty about it.

and then angela. oh, fuck, did el feel bad about that. bc this time she did directly inflict pain upon another person, even if angela was the one mocking her dead father and absolutely deserved getting smacked with a rollerskate. but el spends the rest of the evening upset about what happens, even crying at the sight of angela in pain and having flashbacks to the massecre at the lab (which was, once again, not her fault, but now that she knows the truth she probably still feels guilty for being the one who removed 001’s soteria). angela was an absolute piece of shit who got what was coming for her, but that didn’t matter to el, even before mike began feeding into her guilt. she saw a girl in pain because of an action she chose to take, and it didn’t matter whether el was in the wrong or not, because inflicting pain upon other people who have hurt her is something el hates to see

with vecna, a huge part of his appearance is the burn scars all over his body from being struck by lighting multiple times when he’s exiled to the upside down by el. of course we don’t know whether el herself created the dimension he was sent to, or if her creating it was even a conscious choice of hers, but the fact of the matter is she chose to exile him, and he was hurt in the process. and because this is el we’re talking about, the girl who is so caring about others that she views their well-being over her own self defense, i think she’s going feel as if she’s responsible for this happening. and not just 001/vecna’s physics state—she’s responsible for the creation of vecna, and because he’s seeking revenge on her specifically, she’s responsible for all the tragedies that have occurred on his behalf (to quote season 1 el “i’m the monster”; she feels as if any problem she have have in some way been involved with is her fault)

i think a big part of el’s story is going to be about her learning to overcome her guilt and realize that it’s okay to stand up for herself. how she’s going to get there, i don’t know. maybe nancy and her will have a conversation about the massacre, since nancy is going to find out about it from vecna himself. and, of course, that conversation alone probably isn’t going to make her guilt go away; it’s a process that el is really going to have to work through. but at the end of the day, el deserves to be free of these guilts that she has for things that she was in no way in the wrong for, and i really hope that’s a struggle she’ll be able to overcome