#and if I don't end up working at the snowcone place I think I might try to work at library or this other ice cream place in town that is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

milo-is-rambling · 2 years

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Woke up from a nap in the middle of a panic attack because my mom was moving furniture around in the living room and hitting stuff off my bedroom wall while moving the bird cages and while in this panicked state trying to remember where I was what time it was and that it was in fact not my dad cleaning the bird cages on the other side of the wall I decided I NEEDED to digitally submit an application for the same snowcone place I brought a physical application in cause they never got back to me and the actual adults who run the place said they never got a hold of the physical copy I left (thank you teenagers who work there who never gave them my application that was super cool and swag of you 😑) so now I'm on the verge of a panic attack about getting my life together while waiting for my Apple Pencil to charge so I can fill out the application on my iPad and this all happened because I woke up from a dream about traveling the United States in my van and no one knowing my name or my backstory and being able to lie to strangers and when I woke up it felt like I needed to run away as soon as possible or the world would end so now I'm back to trying to make money

#my room is clean. I'm gonna send the application and then shower and then go get a snowcone and hopefully the actual owners will be working #they sometimes do on weekends #I'm gonna tell them I emailed in an application and be super normal and sweet and not have a panic attack and then I'm gonna eat a snowcone #in my car at the lake and hopefully not cry or throw up #🙃👍🏻#i just need money so I can get the fuck out of here and have no one know who I am #and if I don't end up working at the snowcone place I think I might try to work at library or this other ice cream place in town that is #quite literally shaped like a giant ice cream cone and that's not at all an embarassing place to work at all #driving to the giant ice cream cone to clock in to work seems very very not weird or embarassing at all #*blink* *blink* *blink*#in my head I am slow blinking while looking directly at you while you slowly stop laughing and realize that I am stupid for having that be #an actual concern in my weird fucked up brain. i worked at a Halloween store with a circus tent themed room but working in🍦 is embarassing #god my #brain is weird #can you tell I'm nervous about sending in the application and simply rambling #i think typing on my phone is low key an anxiety stim thing with my brain cause when I am the most stressed I love brain vomiting on myphone #it's just not the same as writing stuff writing is meant for passion and anger but anxiety is made for tiny internet rectangle in my hand

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