#and if it didnt USE he freaks out/she FUCKING kills him/ etc type wording lol

[mejomonster]

I decided I'd write bulletpoint summaries to figure out how to write the next few chapters. So like "x happens, you happens" etc.

But the thing is... when I do that, it helps me get ideas (yay) so then I flesh the bullet point out into 1-20 paragraphs but its STILL in note format so there's some actual lines that are DONE done (like dialogue and some particularly impactful moments of description).

then there's some in a format I HAVE to rewrite later (like "he absolutely loses his shit, tries to rip X limb from limb" I will have to reword ALL the stuff like this which is like 70% of the "fleshed out" summarized notes I write... and its always annoying because it's like... those parts are Basically done conceptually, they have all the details I Needed to include, it's just I worded them like notes and not in nice literary wording so they're NOT fucking usable yet).

And of course, there's the priginal summary bits where I'm just like "They flee the city, go to x. He says never talk to me again, he cant bear it, and goes off to the mountains." Which I'll have to fully flesh out of course. But at least it's all malleable stuff I can word however.

The 2nd kind of summary notes are my best/worst friend ToT on the one hand it's great, the whole scene is fleshed out! On the other hand it's awful cause I know Exactly Every detail I have to write but I have to translate it from "he fucking smashes his head in, seeing red" to like "he crushes his skull under his heel, watching the blood spread across the wooden floor. It's finally over." And like.... ;-; I have to do that shit with every single line, except the occasional blessing where I wrote Full Finished lines in between the 70% note-taking descriptions.

Like. Here's my summary notes I wrote for chapter 11 of what makes monsters stop devouring:

Scenes of Kunlun LEAVING the alliance, and Ye Zun so desperate to help his bro that he marches out there to go confront Kunlun and army ALONE, and ends up telling him off and telling him hes no hero compared to shen wei if he LEAVES, and then Kunlun grabs him and intimidates him just enough for Ye Zun to panicked grab back and absorb a little energy threateningly, then YZ stops cause he wants to make this negotiation work and appear acquiescing no matter how scared he was. Kunlun thinks that’s very brave of him, and proves he’s also very loyal to the thing he came here for and thinks that proves Ye Zun really believes his Black Cloak Envoy is noble and worth all this, and then lets him into his tent to discuss returning. Then the scene of them riding horses ahead back to alliance camp, shen wei immediately seeing them (with mask on) and coming to meet them, and Kunlun inexplicably apologizing for having left without discussing with the chiefs and hearing them out first, and promising he will hear them out if they allow him. Meanwhile SW is just BAFFLED his brother isn’t in danger and that Kunlun isn’t angry and SW is SO confused over what’s going on, but very floored, cause he admires and respects Kunlun at least rep/status wise so he doesn’t know how to handle someone ‘higher’ than him bowing to him and pleading forgiveness and acting submissive to him. What the FUCK did his brother go do???

And in a later arc I wrote a mess of dialogue notes:

At some point after, YZ confronts Kunlun over and over about WHY he got so mad when YZ was trying to help, and finally gets the answer ‘ i already told u i dont’ want you hurt, i don’t want you hurt because of me’ and YZ doesn’t get it, so Kunlun threatens to LEAVE. So YZ tries to get a brainwashed minion to read kunlun’s mind for the answer to avoid a problem for SW, and then Kunlun knocks out the guy before it can happen and goes and finds YZ to privately chat. YZ goes wild and desperate n tries to provoke KL into either telling the truth or injuring him so at least shen wei doesn’t feel like there was any choice BUT for KL to leave or die. Because despite yelling n threatening YZ, to keep YZ away and to keep him from touching his energy, KL still hasn’t actually hurt him. Again, KL says he doesn’t want YZ hurt he wants to keep him safe - and YZ has NO idea how leaving YZ helps

And its like wow I turned that into a 10k chapter but also ;-; is that some people's first drafts? Just the word jumble coming out of your brain trying to summarize? I assume not, I assume a first draft has to actually Be finished sentences lmao. But yeah I write this kind of stuff for long stories and they're a fucking mess because 1 yes I'm grateful cool I know what the plot outline is but 2 dear god its frustrating taking so many Half Written pieces of description and turning them into proper pretty 5 paragraph prose. Anyway yeah some behind the scenes on writing process! ToT