#and im putting different lines as the caption okay STAY WITH ME

[crowlixcx]

God, I've tried, but I think it's about time I put up a fight Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain

(Crowley's Version)

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Deja Vu”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MY TIME HAS COME 2.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FULL INSOMNIA MODE DONT. LOOK. AT. ME.

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG OKAY LETS JUMP RIGHT INTO IT i wasnt expecting something lowkey sad BUT im not mad at it!!!!!!!!!! i had conflicting emotions when i desperately wanted to cry but also headbang?????? HOWEVER thanks to force and air the tears in my eyes were drying as i headbanged- LIKE this song really PUT ME THROUGH IT like that chorus didnt have tO DO ME LIKE THAT™!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THEN THE VERSES AND THE PRE-CHORUSES WERE SLOW (and the bridge but bridges be like that in nearly all songs) WHICH IM ACTUALLY REALLY INTO it was like being in a roller coaster with the verses being the slow hill and the chorus was the fall THAT PIANO GOES HARD...................... but like in a soft way????? DONT ASK ME WHAT IM SAYING IS IM A HOE™ FOR PIANO THOSE DRUMS DURING THE CHORUS STOP IT I CANNOT I FELT THEM VIBRATE THROUGH MY BONES

like i DEADASS have nothing to criticize or change about this song its PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS (except for like more gahyeon and dami????? pls??????)

siyeon starting the song.......................... thank you.............. I STILL STAND BY SAYING I WOULD LISTEN TO HER VOICE FOR LITERALLY FOREVER HER VOICE DURING THE CHORUS QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES OH BUT THEN THAT HIGH NOTE ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? SHE DIDNT HAVE TO KILL ME LIKE THIS BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH I- and now....... im in the deja vu P L E A S E

gaaaaaaaahhhyeeeeeooonnnn her voice is so pretty!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!! HOWEVER youre the second one to sing with this beautiful gentleness of a part and to be honest this part paired with siyeon starting it really eases you into the song and its quite the blessing to hear thanks- and then yknow this part right after handong........................... Heaven™

SPEAKING OF HANDONG LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE AMOUNT OF LINES SHE HAS MAKES ME WANNA CRY OKAY THIS PART RIGHT HERE............................. PLS.............. (i think its just me but theres a smaller voice singing like right under her voice????) HER PRE-CHORUS PARTS ARE LITERALLY THE BEST PARTS IN THE WHOLE SONG TO LISTEN TO pls believe me when i say this its NOT bc shes my ultimate bias like i genuinely like her parts the most

sua pls i was already prepared for softer vocals and you really gave that to me and then this is absolute perfection they were beautiful and amazing OF COURSE got me feeling like i was floating on actually clouds god TAHNK YOU AND THEN YOU JUST HAD TO HIT ME WITH YOUR PART RIGHT HERE???? i understand its just the chorus but I Felt That™ okay!!!!!!

JIU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i stand by saying how your voice be powerful as hell still even during these lines VERY short but VERY effective and very good leading into the chorus i love- and then your bridge....................... B I C T H really put me in my feelings but i welcome it with EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING and with open arms.......................

YOOHYEON AKA THE OTHER QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES I MEAN..................................... I LITERALLY DUNNO WHAT TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE THEIR BEAUTIFUL SOUNDING HER VOICE GOES WELL WITH THEM like i really like the parts she sings after siyeon like................. Y O O F if a feather became a voice-

i need more dami too..................... P L E A S E like obviously with their other songs i was expecting dami to be in the second verse and with a smooth rap section and the former was correct HOWEVER to my pleasant surprise SHE SANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her singing voice suited this SO MUCH and im actually glad there wasnt a rap part at all in this song especially that SECOND PART.................. Heaven™ 2x

my favorite lyrics (x): i know i said handongs were my favorite to listen to but i like these lines dont hurt me

난 이 숨결이 허락되는 날까지 As long as I can breathe 다신 너를 놓을 수 없어 I can’t let go of you again 우린 모든 순간 함께 할 테니 We’ll be together for every moment 내 곁에서 beside me

THE DANCE OKAY IM GONNA DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT ill be referring to THIS PERFORMANCE can we pls talk about how loud the fanchant is im crying and really take it in and all of their talented glory ANYWAY OF COURSE the choreography F UKCING SLAPS just so many different position changes and just alwaYS SO IN SYNC WITH EACH OTHER ITS INSANE ill just list them briefly and keep the points short this is long enough:

THE BEGINNING AND THE END BEING THE SAME...................... CERTAINLY DEJA VU-

SIYEONS TUTTING THING THANKS

handongs majestic spin

this and this with how the formation changes and how their arms swing AND the kick

ALSO in those parts in the last bullet i dunno why but i like that move jiu does when she sings IT HITS

i recall sua spoiling literally the first move of the chorus dance in that vlive THE CHORUS DANCE ALL THOSE FORMATION CHANGES LITERALLY MESS ME UP and THIS most important move in the entire choreography and they line up and its SO COOL to look at

when they lie on each other doing yoohyeons lines

handongs part again when theyre in the line and how satisfying it is to watch

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE

LITERALLY THE ENTIRE DANCE FROM START TO FINISH

QUEENS OF STABILITY

sidenote: can we talk about how handong and dami?????? literally spin during their parts????? and they sounded super clear??????

THE VISUALS SO.......................... if you had asked me two days ago (maybe a little bit of yesterday) about how i felt about this video.................. i wouldve mentioned some unpopular opinions regarding the videos look............ i mentioned to gwen @loonapunk that i wasnt TOO into it............ BUT- after finally sitting down to do this long ass post i dont hate it!!!!!!!!!!!! i think bc i have to remind myself that this song (album???? well song-) is for that kings raid game and all the visuals AND story are based off that????? i dunno BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS I LIKE TO WATCH IT

IM TOO BIG STUPID™ TO COMPREHEND THIS STORYLINE AND COME UP WITH MY OWN THEORIES EVEN NOW AND I WOULD L O V E TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH AS IT IS SO ILL REDIRECT YOU TO THEORY POSTS (TWO (2) FROM MY GALAXY BRAIN MOOTS) THAT I LIKED:

@highsomnia NITAS POST WHICH I PERSONALLY FOUND ENJOYABLE TO READ SO IF YOU COULD READ THIS YOU SHOULD ALSO READ THAT

@in-somnias ELENAS POST WHICH WAS ALSO AN INTERESTING READ RIGHT HERE

AND THEN THIS ONE THAT WAS ORIGINALLY FROM TWITTER i dont follow her so im not gonna @

AIIGHT IMMA GO CRAZY WITH THESE SHOTS (with only small one/two sentence captions this is LONG ENOUGH):

BICTH I SAW THIS AND KNEW I WAS GONNA GET GOT™ like its just super duper INCREDIBLY PRETTY TO LOOK AT

THIS WILL BE FOREVER ICONIC™ DONT ARGUE WITH ME

this is what the calm before the storm looks like

went back to the mv film making video and turns out they got slippers on under that table love that for them

how in the hell am i supposed to interpret this exchange

okay longer section i think im supposed to interpret this more as a sister bond than a romantic one?????? i remember being taken aback and believed this to be something gay BUT 99.9% OF INSOMNIAS say its gay subtext so ill just put it like that i dunno but like i just wanna say they have beautiful smiles and im love them!!!

a youtuber reacting to this mv saying it just looks like theyre shading each other.................... anyway-

i CANNOT i repeat I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU how Shook™ i was when i saw this for the first time i basically jumped out of my chair i couldnt i-

this mv really led me to believe jiu was the evil one.............................

POETIC. CINEMA.

THE WOMAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND. THE FIREBENDER. THE WOLF. LEE SIYEON. pls light me up

Symbolism™................ SYMBOLISM I CANNOT COMPREHEND GO TO THE THEORIES

MORE SYMBOLISM GO TO THE THEORIES

T H E M

NOT ONLY IS THIS VIDEO SUPER AESTHETIC™ BUT THE SEVEN (7) MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD BLESSING US ONCE AGAIN WITH THEIR PRESENCE AND ALLOWED THEIR ROYALTY VIBES SHOOT INTO THE MESOSPHERE INTO REAL LIFE KILLING ALL OF US

THE DANCING SCENES WITH THE TEASER OUTFITS...................................... AT EASE.....................

LITERALLY NO COMPLAINTS MOVING ON:

JIU

L I S T E N KIM MINJI YOURE A FULL PRINCESS this pink fluffy dress with the flower crown in this picture............................ i may have cried- like a lot of people were trying this look to persephone and im HERE for that concept for her and like the white outfit AND black outfit is probably super symbolic again im too Big Stupid™ anyway when i saw that black outfit in the teaser........................... i was attacked jiu with a sword is just EVERYTHING i wanted and more

SUA

LITERALLY I CANNOT- her hair being wavy looks SO GOOD on her THIS BLACK DRESS WITH THE FLOWERS she is always a Serve™ WE KNOW THAT but her visuals just HIT DIFFERENT this time lighter colored hair really suits her and then of course she looks FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC in the dance scenes in the white and the black that low pony tail pls

SIYEON

purple on this woman just shoulders and collarbones out being Beautiful™ ALL THE WHILE staying ON BRAND with herself and was wearing pants good for her G O D i just love the way her hair looks in the white and gold outfits like it just LOOKS PRETTY to me i dunno how to describe it also her with a pony tail WHAT ARE YOU SO PRETTY FOR-

HANDONG

i just................... want closer shots of this.................. CLOSER SHOTS IN GENERAL OF HER ACTUALLY like LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL™ SHE LOOKS HERE I WANNA SEE MORE OF IT??????? PLS??????? nothing gets me weaker than her hair being styled exactly like in the picture i just love that her royalty and regal vibes and looks were FINALLY realized and WAS BROUGHT TO THE FOREFRONT

YOOHYEON

THIS MV MUST CONVINCE ME SHE IS EVIL BY SHOWING HER FOREHEAD first of all the first outfit turning her into an Actual Entire Princess™/Queen™ that red one i dont really understand SHE MAKES IT WORK THO THEN THAT BLACK OUTFIT LISTEN yo it was like getting hit by a whole truck full speed i wasnt ready and i just wanna admire that yoohyeon and gray colored hair is an actual match made in heaven i just have to say-

DAMI

i love this suit and the patten on it so much this outfits color (what is that teal????) and her hair color is such a GOOD PAIRING and on her SHE JUST KILLED ME WITH HER SOLO SCENES i wish i had more to say about her and her outfits but what else can i say other than that she is INSANELY ATTRACTIVE AND I WANT HER TO STEP ON ME???????

GAHYEON

she really broke my neck when i saw her the first time LIKE DEADASS LOOK AT THIS PICTURE i had fallen for her and i cannot get up when i saw this outfit in the other shots like the black top and the see through sleeves but her skirt is like different colors she really Served™ in this outfit bangs usually look cute but in her solo parts she was coming for my heart like miss lee gahyeon pls-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (just short thoughts and point out specific parts i liked lmao)

Intro:

their intros always slap are you kidding me-

The curse of the Spider

i wasnt ready for this bop to slap me in the face on my spotify that chorus didnt have to do that to me THAT GUITAR DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT TO ME i love the way dami and handong sound in this song i mean wrow-

favorite lyrics (x):

소름이 끼칠 만큼 It’s chilling 도망치고 싶어질 it makes me want to run away 그런 두려움일 테니 such is this fear

Silent Night

B I H C T i knew when i heard this in the highlight it was going to be my favorite one IT REALLY WOKE SOMETHING IN ME these lyrics i cant- gahyeon and handong hurted me with their lower registers Y AL L YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HURTED ME THAT D R O P DID

favorite lyrics (x):

겨눈 칼 끝은 a blade directed at someone 결국 돌아오게 돼 eventually returns 더 다가오지 마 don’t come closer

Polaris

this song is as if i was wrapped in the thickest blanket i got and im resting on the softest bed in the world with a fireplace going nearby and i could finally rest peacefully bc the lord knows i need it- i really cried a little bit listening to this pls leave me be i legit cant pick a specific member i liked the most for this song i just love it and everything it got

favorite lyrics (x):

그게 너라서 행복해 I’m happy that it’s you 그 많은 인연 속에 Among those numerous connections 수많은 사람 중에 Among those numerous people

LIKE im so completely satisfied with every song on this album and im completely in love with it!!!!!!!!!! the only ‘issue’ i really had was with the mv visually but as you read i warmed up to it lmao LIKE IM JUST SO PROUD OF THESE WOMEN AND HOW TALENTED AND HARDWORKING THEY ARE like i have to say the japanese release?????? and this????? being so close to each other????? you telling me they learned TWO (2) different choreographies one after the other???? i absolutely love this album and i desperately desperately DESPERATELY want so much more success for them bc ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is supposed to be just about the overall mv and deja vu but i might as well just type what i feel lmao

IN CONCLUSION: MY INSOMNIA ASS IS BOTH ALIVE AND DEAD BUT MOSTLY ALIVE I LOVE THIS IM STREAMING

i have to bring this back its relevant again:

[sodapopstyles]

the girl

calum hood x reader

I cannot explain the love i have for this song (or for calum) ps. i miss blonde streaked cal

11:30 pm: are you still calling tonight?

12:23 pm: cal i’m sorry but i can’t stay up any longer :-(

12:45 am: i hope you had a good time performing and im sorry i couldn’t be there! be safe tonight i love you

Calum felt like proper shit. Not only because of the amount of alcohol he had consumed at the club last night (how many shots had he taken last night?), but also because he had broken his promise to you. He knew something was wrong from the second he woke up (and it wasn’t just because he was 30 minutes late to an important band meeting) and saw a few texts scattered over the course of last night on his phone. Sure, you didn’t sound upset in your texts, but Calum knew you. He knew you’d probably stayed awake for a little while longer, checking in with the boys to make sure he was okay, because that was the kind of person that you were. In a world of give and take, you had only ever wanted to give.

He had promised you days ago that he’d call after the concert last night, especially since it was your two-year anniversary, but the promise slipped his mind at the mention of free drinks and karaoke at a club nearby. Calum swears he didn’t mean to forget; he just got busy was all. And he was busy this morning too—which was why he still hadn’t responded to your messages. He was currently supposed to be helping the boys write some new songs, but how was he supposed to do that when he knew he totally fucked up? He knew that you were probably an anxious mess right now, thinking that you had done something to make him upset. So now his phone was burning a hole through his jeans pocket, and all he wanted to do was talk to you; tell you it was nothing you did, he just…well, he just was a piece of shit. His mind was a mess of what-ifs and scenarios of you leaving him (rightfully so, he was an absolute dick after all), and all he could think about was how he had passed up a night of talking to you for a damn club. He was hit with a sudden fog of missing you, and he excused himself to go to the “bathroom”, where really, he went to the quietest room he could find. Slipping his phone out of his pocket, he quickly dialed your number and put the phone up to his ear, his gaze falling to a chipped piece of tile on the floor. He toed it nervously, hoping your sweet voice would coo through the speaker. It rang once, twice, three times—then went to voicemail. God, he fucked up.

“Hi babe—I uh, I really need to talk to you. Call me when you get this? I love you.” Clicking the red end call button, Calum ran his hand through his hair, his body slumping against the wall. Guilt flooded his veins when he thought about you waiting for a call that never came. His fingers tugged at the ends of his dark hair, frustrated with himself. Maybe it didn’t sound like that big of a deal, but you deserved more than the world, and he couldn’t even give you half of that.

There was no way in hell that Calum was going to be able to concentrate on song-writing right now, so he slid down the wall into a more comfortable position. He tugged on a loose thread around the rip in the knee of his jeans and aimlessly scrolled through the various social media apps on his phone. His eyes were glazed over as he watched the thousands of pictures scroll past on his Instagram feed, not really paying attention to the actual pictures. He had just stopped scrolling, deciding to switch to another app, when the picture that he had stopped on caught his eye.

It was a picture of you and Duke together, the puppy curled up against your side. Calum stared at the picture, noticing it had been posted an hour ago. But the caption. The caption was what made him suck in a breath, his heart stuttering painfully in his chest.

Even my phone misses your call, by the way.

It hadn’t really been that long since he’d called you, right? He quickly pulled up his phone log, not really believing that it had been that long since the two of you actually spoke on the phone. His heart dropped when he looked at the date of the last phone call. It had been over three weeks ago—over a month since there had been any real communication between the two of you, minus a text here and there. Calum quickly dialed your number, praying that you would pick up. But again, one, two, three rings—and then your voicemail. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He really was the worst.

How had the time slipped that far past him? How could he have forgotten about you? When he left, he had promised you that he’d always come back to you no matter what. That he loved you, and he’d talk to you as much as he could. At first, there was a phone call every other day. And without realizing it, those every other day calls turned into once a week calls, and then tapered off into nothing. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard your giggle, or your adorable sleepy voice, and the way it would get soft and syrupy before you were about to fall asleep. A dark wave of loneliness suddenly crashed down on him, threatening to swallow him up whole.

You were his best friend, the person he could share anything with, and he loved you. Oh God, he loved you like a moth loves a flame. He could never tire of you, never be bored with who you were. A life without you would be like…Calum didn’t even want to think about that. With him being mildly famous, it was rare to find people who actually cared about him as a person, but you did. You never asked for expensive things, even though he had told you whatever you wanted was yours. At most, the only material thing you’ve asked for is postcards from his travels, and that was simply because you wanted to see the different places his dreams were taking him to.

Calum knew from the moment he met you that you were something special, and when you had stopped to tie your sparkly pink balloon from the fair around the little girl’s wrist (she had been traumatized after a goose came up and snatched her cotton candy out of her tiny fist), he swears that’s when he fell in love. You always took care of other people—strangers even, and it warmed his heart from the very beginning.

The ringing of his phone pulled him out of his reverie, and he sat up a little too quickly, banging the back of his head on the wall behind him. Calum’s hand came up to cover the tender spot, his fingers circling around the aching area, trying to soothe it, while his other hand cradled the phone to his ear. The rings on his fingers clicked against the back of his phone case, and if he was standing, he would have stood on trembling legs. His entire body was buzzing like a livewire with nerves (and excitement) at the prospect of hearing your voice, finally.

“Hello?” Calum was breathless, both anxiety and a craving for your voice gripping him like a vice.

“Hi.” You said softly, not a trace of the hardness he thought he deserved in your tone.

“I’m gonna start off by saying that I am so, so sorry. I didn’t even realize—”

Your sigh was sad and desperate. “That’s the problem.”

“What?”

“That’s the problem Calum! You didn’t realize, and—and I didn’t realize. Not until last night. We’re drifting apart.”

Calum stayed silent, a mix of something akin to fear and dread and hopelessness burned through every nerve ending in his body. You continued. “Cal, I love you okay? I really, truly do.”

“Why does it sound like there’s a ‘but’ coming?” Calum whispered, swallowing nervously.

“But this is getting to be too much,” you said, your voice cracking, “and it’s just—it’s not fair. I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone like you to show up and whisk me away into a life where I actually mattered, and half the time I don’t even get to see you. I’m so in love with you, and it…it hurts.”

“I’m so sorry. You have no idea how much I wish I could be there for you…with you.” Calum breathed, truly meaning everything that he was saying to you. A sudden sob on the other end of the line tugged at his heartstrings, causing him to hesitantly ask the question he had been dreading all day. “Are you going to leave?”

The line was quiet, and then a harsh sniff. “What?”

“Are you…all I want is for you to be happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. And if this isn’t—if I’m not making you happy, then you can—”

“I’m not—fuck, I’m not leaving you Calum.”

It took a minute for Calum to answer. “Okay.”

“Baby, I swear I’m not leaving. I’m just a bit frustrated is all…I don’t—I wouldn’t leave you just because things got hard.”

“I think I would be totally lost without you.” He said quietly, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I know I would be lost without you.” You said back, just as quiet. “Where do we go from here?”

“I don’t know. I’m home in,” he paused to check his calendar, “14 days. I think we should—”

“Please don’t say start over. I want what we have right now in this moment, but with more talking. You—you have no idea how much I missed your voice.”

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry that I was drifting.”

“Please don’t do that again, you scared me. I thought…I thought I was going to lose you.” Your voice wavered slightly, and Calum closed his eyes. He knew you were crying, and it hurt, it hurt to know that the cause of your tears was his doing.

“You’ll never lose me. I’m yours to keep, forever and always.”

“I love you Cal.”

“Marry me.” He blurted out suddenly.

“What did you just say?”

“I know you sacrifice so much for this relationship to work, and I’m so lucky that I found you. You have no idea how much I love you, and I—I want to spend the rest of my days loving you endlessly. Of course, I’ll get a ring and—"

“Yes.” You said quietly, so quiet, that he didn’t hear you at first.

“Propose to you the right way and—wait. You…yes?”

[sorcieresque]

naisy gossip from the past couple of days on: ai’s shapeshifting and the legitimacy thereof, the shape of daisy’s head, trans troubles, daisy being offended by her implied sluttiness, a detour to dick jokes,  a detour from dick jokes to feelings jamming, a detour about ines’s annoyingness factor, lesbian island and clea

nickatnightwalker brief interjection: you doing okay with tweedle drunk and tweedle drunker over there?

sorcieresque Are you.

nickatnightwalker well, ive been completely cured of the siren charm probably forever

sorcieresque Good. He's not that cute either way. Tyler's a mess. It's embarrassing.

nickatnightwalker it's amazing how fast my interest in either of them dropped.  like watching a rock plummet off the empire state building and then kill some passers by

nickatnightwalker anyway me and damian are going for a walk until their blood alcohol levels drop below .6. wanna come

sorcieresque I take a low res picture, fry it, and caption the rock in comic sans: My interest, the passers-by Tyler's chances of getting laid, the empire state building is captioned God. I'm not going to third wheel you. I’ll have you know I have better social skills than that.

nickatnightwalker this is an escape run daise take it or leave it

sorcieresque Fine. This doppelganger fiasco is getting boring either way.

nickatnightwalker shes not real good is she

sorcieresque No. Having a 3D mirror was fun for all about twenty minutes, which makes for better bragging rights than most people have ever had. She should be proud.

nickatnightwalker now do you get what i mean about your head being weird shaped

sorcieresque Fuck you. My head is perfectly round.

nickatnightwalker round ish

sorcieresque Your face is round-ish.

nickatnightwalker no it's not my jawline is the only good thing my dad ever gave me and you cant erase that fact

sorcieresque I could if I wanted to. Take back that my head is weird-shaped.

nickatnightwalker you cant change my face

sorcieresque I can and I shall.

nickatnightwalker cant and shant

sorcieresque Take it back.

nickatnightwalker you must have seen it though

sorcieresque I was too busy being mesmerized by the acute angles of my cheekbones.

nickatnightwalker huh you really missed an opportunity there then

sorcieresque Let a shapeshifter pour themselves into an unholy you-shaped mold and then you shall throw stones.

nickatnightwalker absolutely not hey do you think ai could even turn into me she doesnt really know what i look like

sorcieresque What do you mean.

nickatnightwalker i mean it's not like ive stripped and tap danced through the quad shes gonna get shit wrong

sorcieresque Right. I assumed that was left to her vague interpretation. It's not like she knows what the hot goods look like beneath my skirts.

nickatnightwalker kind of unsettling maybe everythings just barbie and ken under there when she turns into us

sorcieresque On a scale of one to very, how rude would it be to ask her to take her clothes off.

nickatnightwalker for you i think she would happily

sorcieresque I know. It's charming. My intentions are only pure and scientific.

nickatnightwalker that part she might not love

sorcieresque That sounds like a her-problem.

nickatnightwalker itll be a you problem if she says no

sorcieresque What if she knows how to mold us to a T.

nickatnightwalker how could she possibly

sorcieresque Magic? (Finger waving, etc.)

nickatnightwalker no, she has to know what somethign looks like to be it theres no way shes gotta just be vague nothing underneath

sorcieresque Then what's the big deal. Don't be a pussy.

nickatnightwalker well excuse me for being reluctant if the odds arent 100% against her finding out ive GOT one

sorcieresque What, did you forget you're not the only one in the world? She didn't seem to know about me.

nickatnightwalker theres a lot less to guess on with you daise

nickatnightwalker no offense but im pretty sure everyone heres seen you shirtless or close enough to to make a good approximately of nearly everything going on up there

nickatnightwalker and most of us have seen your ass too

sorcieresque That's an exaggeration, but you're welcome. There is not "less" going on with me, just different issues in the downstairs department.

nickatnightwalker no, not less, just less that people dont know about it's the public semi-nudity daise

sorcieresque You make it sound a lot worse than it is.

sorcieresque You'd think after all these years you wouldn't be so scandalized of my alleged indecency.

nickatnightwalker oh no im not but everyone else isnt hardened to it yet

sorcieresque Haha. Hardened.

nickatnightwalker i dont get it can you explain?

sorcieresque Penis Havers + Sight of Skin = Profit.

nickatnightwalker hm. yknow ive always managed it without the sight of skin part?

sorcieresque Ooh, Mr. Nick, ooh.

sorcieresque The mere sight of your melaninless face sends every phallus in a two mile radius from solid to mega solid.

nickatnightwalker you joke and yet

sorcieresque Deepthroating a banana is cheating.

nickatnightwalker no it is NOT besides thats just how i eat them

sorcieresque Perhaps you and Ines are much more similar than you'd like to believe.

nickatnightwalker please, as if she could eat a banana like i can

sorcieresque She can unhinge her jaw, Nick.

nickatnightwalker you got me there but that really seems like a sacrifice in terms of pressure and suction

sorcieresque I suddenly don't care about this.

nickatnightwalker some principles are universal daisy

sorcieresque I hardly see how unhinging your jaw would aid one outside of pleasing the mighty sword of Venus, oh Great Kahuna of Oral Sex.

nickatnightwalker itd kinda be win some lose some just because youd get greater range of motion but lose a lot of use of your lips

sorcieresque Not that this conversation isn't dripping mystery and pulsing with excitement, but are you okay.

nickatnightwalker what oh yeah he just asked if i like being human

nickatnightwalker like...idk man do i like that ive been consigned to a particularly fragile and ill-fitting meat suit? sure i guess, since the alternative was not existing at all shout out to my dads poor planning aaaaaaaay

sorcieresque Aaaay! Asking you that must count as a micro-aggression around here.

nickatnightwalker oh fuck if i know everything is a micro-aggression around here asking somebody their favorite food is a micro-aggression around here "hey whats your favorite color" "do you not know how PERSONAL colors are to me once a color murdered my entire family and now im forced to brood silently yet threateningly whenever i see it"

sorcieresque Does he like *not* being human? Respond in 2000-5000 words MLA format on your desk by tomorrow.

nickatnightwalker as a matter of fact thats exactly what i just told him

sorcieresque Twinsies.

nickatnightwalker i bet we could start telling people that tomorrow and theyd swallow it hook line and sinker

sorcieresque On that note, has Damian grown out of his sisterwife kink yet?

nickatnightwalker while i dont know what his personal feelings are on it knocking that joke out of the repertoire was part of the motherfucking bargain in exchange for letting him talk to me after hurricane daniel

sorcieresque You've always been good at haggling.

nickatnightwalker thank you you know i really, really debated putting an allowance in there for a while?

sorcieresque Ha! Perhaps not quite so good, then.

nickatnightwalker that was a trade off for my own self respect daisy

sorcieresque I suppose some of you /humans/ have that.

nickatnightwalker oh god dont even go there or i'll vanish your hair too

sorcieresque Someone's touchy.

nickatnightwalker shes just about as annoying as an asscrack full of sand

sorcieresque An asscrack full of sand and sticky hands from a rapidly melting Popsicle?

nickatnightwalker with sand glued onto your arms and legs with too-thick sunscreen scratching gently but persistently at your sunburn

sorcieresque And your sunglasses are smudged.

nickatnightwalker and your towel is too sandy to clean them on

sorcieresque And there's Sandflies.

nickatnightwalker when you shower youre gonna find dried seaweed down your bathing suit thats been there for hours

sorcieresque Like lovingly cradling Satan against your crotch. Anyway.

nickatnightwalker anyway shes real fuckin annoying

sorcieresque She's not so bad. I would have stopped around the sunglasses.

nickatnightwalker you havent seen her raging superiority complex up close and personal

sorcieresque I've seen her raging Mine Song complex.

nickatnightwalker that is one can of lesbian worms i am not gonna go anywhere the fuck near

nickatnightwalker im gonna just stay over here in my lane and not get in anywhere near anything the amazon warriors have claimed, up to and including the entire proteus dorm

sorcieresque What about /my/ problems, Nick.

nickatnightwalker cleas gotta come out, im not goin in

nickatnightwalker i dunno if you wanna take on the sapphic equivalent of the mongol horde  that's your bad choice not mine

sorcieresque Well mark my death as "mysterious" on my Wikipedia page and call me sexy Genghis Khan, I'm ready.

nickatnightwalker is there anything really worth conquering over there anyway

sorcieresque Yes.

nickatnightwalker name names bitch!

sorcieresque What is this, a middle school sleepover?

nickatnightwalker yep

nickatnightwalker ive got the popcorn in the microwave now spill

sorcieresque You're subscribed to the Daily Daisy, I was under the impression that you would have an idea. Unless it's tagged Nick don't look, in which case you do not, because we respect each other's privacy.

nickatnightwalker of course i dont but i have YET to see a name drop

sorcieresque Are you asking me if there is a lucky military strategist I would particularly like to conquer?

nickatnightwalker yes imagine some clapping emojisfor me

sorcieresque You're very insistent.

nickatnightwalker well yeah

nickatnightwalker course i wanna hear whats up

sorcieresque Oh.

sorcieresque Well, no single tactician has caught my eye just yet, but I find some of the army members, how do you say, cute. Ines among them.

sorcieresque You love to joke about it, but I don't actually find Tyler's game plans all that exciting. Val's too annoying and Gabriela too dumb to strive beyond eye candy. I've caught glimpses of Clea, you know.

nickatnightwalker thats vague and intriguing keep going

sorcieresque That's all there is to say.

sorcieresque Sometimes they are there, and then they are back to being a walking kaleidoscope on steroids. I think they're cute.

nickatnightwalker they sent me a picture of them before yknow, before why can you see them?

sorcieresque I don't know. And oh. How very juicy of them.

nickatnightwalker dyou want it

sorcieresque Absolutely I do.

nickatnightwalker [it's an incredibly middle-school mirror selfie]

sorcieresque I see. Thank you for your candor.

nickatnightwalker youre welcome you and clea all straightened out? after what they said and everything i know they apologized but still

sorcieresque I made them clamber up the vine and hang from my window. It was very romantic.

nickatnightwalker oh thats so smooth im impressed of you i mean since you told them what to do

sorcieresque And isn't that a most excellent quality in a person.

nickatnightwalker obedience? generally speaking a better quality in a housepet than a person but cleas got other perks

sorcieresque Yes? And what would those be.

nickatnightwalker a fourth dimension australian accent

sorcieresque The compulsive chivalry grew on me.

nickatnightwalker it really is compulsive i swear they keep trying to stop

sorcieresque Interesting.

sorcieresque I could've sworn that was supposed to be their shtick.

nickatnightwalker i thought their shtick was quirky 90s friend

sorcieresque They contain multitudes. That's why they look like that.

nickatnightwalker well shit youre not wrong there i feel threatened by their only-sane-man and rational-human motifs though that's really kinda my thing

sorcieresque Your shtick is far more interesting than being a "rational" person.

nickatnightwalker thank you i do try to work that in though at least sometimes

sorcieresque Do you think it brings an eclectic factor to the jittery je ne sais quoi of your attractiveness?

nickatnightwalker absolutely i do i think it emphasizes that my jitteriness is not unfounded

sorcieresque Wow, you're even internally consistent.

nickatnightwalker oh yeah definitely what you see is what you get with me

sorcieresque Whatever happened to the mystery!

nickatnightwalker new school new me

sorcieresque Your transparency of character disgusts me.

nickatnightwalker oh man daise it disgusts me too

[notconsolation]

alright here we go, the moment i've been waiting for all my life: holding onto you, addict with a pen, isle of flightless birds, taxi cab, kitchen sink, lane boy aaaandddd doubt

The buildup has been a long time coming but I think this is the true pinnacle of both of our existences. So. Heads up I think this turned into a mini rant about my feelings on each song. It turns out I don’t half ass things when it comes to music. Be warned. This is really freaking long.

Holding on to youGoddamn this song is so genius, especially in its relative simplicity (relative to their other songs - it has fewer layers, fewer different synths, the repetitive keyboard track that forms the basis keeps a beat in such a way that the drums are free to be more of a tool for emphasis and emotion than timekeeping agh oh god I could go on for a long time) and the entire second verse is Tyler at the peak of his talent for taking these painful pictures and notions of suicide and pain and internal darkness and focusing them in a way that makes me want to belt it out full of emotion, and also the “it ain’t the speakers that bump hearts, it’s our hearts that make the beat” !!!!!!!! The motto by which my heart keeps pounding against my ribcage. But I think it’s got to be: “and now that I write and think about it and the story unfolds, you should take my life, you should take my soul” because to me it’s about how expressing things through writing and creating just allows you to rethink everything and whenever I create anything I want to give it my entire lifeblood and pour my soul into it, so the “you should take my life, you should take my soul” is both about these intense feelings of depression and the willingness to give oneself over to ones art entirely

Addict with a penThis one takes my lungs and wrings them out like a wet rag. “I know I haven’t been the best of sons”. I think it has to be that. But the water imagery. I know I’ve talked somewhere on here about my penchant for water imagery and the semantic field of religious imagery and saving and drowning and good lord does this one play into that. I remember falling asleep once while singing this to myself and just crying and it was beautiful and cathartic.

Isle of flightless birdsSo this song I love mainly for the catchy and fast drum beat that introduces the song along with the keyboard with a synth distortion that for whatever reason makes me think of renaissance fairs. Also because Tyler doesn’t use B major very often so it feels kind of special because (you guys I don’t know how many of you I’m losing to this music jargon but it gets me so excited) it’s got this warm and vaguely nasal sound to it that I just,,, okay I realize I’m way off track. Not terribly profound but I really like: “and time will fly by and the sky will cry as light is fading” because it’s a goddamn beautiful image. And the idea that the sky doesn’t want to let go of light is beautiful too.

Taxi cabI cannot think of this song without also thinking of this old tweet I think Tyler once posted with a picture of him rolling his eyes with the caption: when they won’t play the old stuff. Because they never play this one.for me this is their version of a ballad in the sense that it really is a story. It always sort of felt like a part two of a car, a torch, a death to me and I don’t quite know why. But. The syncopated rhythm and repeated basic chords which I can’t actually quite remember but I think is mostly a variation on an A chord? Anyway. What I love so very very very very much about this song is that it’s a story (and such a beautiful one at that goddamn I want to read short stories written by angsty teen ty) but it feels like a cop out to use that as a reason to say my favourite lyrics are the whole song. So: “we’re driving towards the morning sun where all your blood is washed away and all you did will be undone”. I have goosebumps even just thinking it to myself. I just. I’m actually shivering. It makes me think of blood oranges and salt and suits without ties and I just. Hmspje.

Kitchen sinkHooo boy so on the one hand I think this song is slightly overhyped. The hipster in me rebels. At the same time I fucking get the hype because the haunting way Tyler sings the chorus, zack’s rap, the idea and thought behind the concept of a kitchen sink being something to stay alive for because only you know its meaning….. !!!¡¡! But honestly I think I’m gonna go with the super simple and profoundly visceral “leave me alone” when it’s immediately juxtaposed by “don’t leave me alone”. The way he fucking howls it, the simple expression of how messy the feeling is, both in sounds and words, the way that the chords in the main instrumental melody line up in emphasis with the drums….! I have feelings. Many of them.

Lane boyI love how bubbly this one sounds? Somehow? And it’s got a sort of reggae vibe? Which DUDE I am so into. Not the song I relate to most obviously because it’s about success and pressure to keep it up so um duh not thaaat relatable but still Such. A. Tune. Favourite lyrics: “if it was our way we’d have a tempo change every other time change” cause yeeesss same you guys.

Aaaaaand DoubtChrist okay so. I’ll be honest this was the last song on bf that I got into. I was at a nondescript crossing in the middle of nowhere in Denmark thinking about why hell is cold for some and hot for others and also thinking of ancestral memories. Anyway. I was super tired and pulled out my iPod and put it on and it hit me properly for the first time. And it did fuckingg hit me. The sort of high strung punchy synths and heavy heavy basslines and the almost autotuned sound of Tyler’s voice somehow rounds it out because it’s about Doubt and the word Doubt itself is broken apart in the chorus but it all sounds so smooth and round, especially in combination with the synths!!! You can see I think about this possibly too much. Anyway, favourite lyrics. For one thing, the anaphers at the beginning of the lines and the way they hold it all together and give it a phonetic coherence that belies the way he’s talking about uncertainty by being punchy and certain. But specifically: “temperature is dropping, temperature is dropping, I’m not sure if I can see this ever stopping, shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no, you are all that I’ve got,no” because Tyler, you continue to be #relatable

Jesus im sorry what a fucking novel