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#and in hindsight i guees it was because we literally saw each other for 8 hours straight every day of the week
buckleydiazmp4
·
11 months
Text
it's tag venting time
#i've had this friendship. of like. 5 years
#and well
#we used to be really really close
#and in hindsight i guees it was because we literally saw each other for 8 hours straight every day of the week
#and then that stopped happening
#i literally haven't seen this person in about a year and a half i think? maybe more?
#despite the fact that we basically live walking distance from each other. which. already says a lot
#but then there's also a bigger issue. because hey i get it we're both busy ppl it's okay if qe haven't seen each other in a while
#(despite the fact that in this case it is because of a lack of trying -i like to believe not on my part- but ignoring that)
#we text sporadically when we have something to let off our chest so it's like this back and forth of voice notes every week or so
#but lately its has turned into them sending me groups of 5-minute voice notes at a time because their life is so. so dramatic
#and like. hey if this were still like a mutual communication i would enjoy it because i am indeed a good listener
#and i like to believe i guve good advice. and i used to give this person good advice like. it was a nice friendship back then
#but it became so one-sided as in i received info dumps and vents about the same stuff over and over and the few times i talked about myself
#i received some half-hearted dismissals like. oh cool or oh that's so sad. anyways. and then we went back to talking about them.
#and it was so frustrating but at first i thought well if they're gonna use me as a venting device so will i despite getting no input like
#they became a void to me which i was getting gradually accustomed to it was fine. but then today they asked if i could talk on the phone
#i said yes because i wanted to prove my theory. the plan was: i answer
#let them talk without offering any input whatsoever. see how long they can just talk and talk and then in the end see if my lack of answer-
#-elicited any reaction at all. and unsurprisingly it didn't. i waited for them to finish and then i thought
#well at least they might ask me how my day was or something just to confirm i was listening like idk but
#i personally would find the quiet unsettling and would ask.but they didn't even do that. asked me if i had homework i said yes. that was it
#that was IT!!! i felt so frustrating but at least i was entirely correct and it does hurt to lose a friend but this had been coming
#for a long long time. the thing is though i cant just cut this person off
#i hate confrontation so all i cant do is keep up this sort of a 'quiet quitting' kind of attitude. pretty easy to do with someone like this
#so anyway. that's how you realize a friendship is fake and now i am a bit angry and also sad. but i guess i'll deal with it and move on
#if you read all this hi and sorry for the venting. i just had to get it off my chest
#vent post
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