#and instead the world used them to make him miserable and convinced he's undeserving of love??

[franeridan]

doodling ace and suddenly having a lil mental breakdown over him, daily occurrences and all that

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Zuck calls Apple a monopolist

The copyright scholar James Boyle has a transformative way to think about political change. He tells a story about how the word "ecology" welded together a bunch of disparate issues into a movement.

Prior to "ecology," there were people who cared about owls, or air pollution, or acid rain, or whales, and while none of these people thought the others were misguided, they also didn't see them as being as part of the same cause.

Whales aren't anything like owls and acid rain isn't anything like ozone depletion. But the rise of the term "ecology," turned issues into a movement. Instead of being 1,000 causes, it was a single movement with 1,000 on-ramps.

Movements can strike at the root, look to the underlying  economic and philosophical problems that underpin all the different causes that brought the movement's adherents together. Movements get shit done.

Which brings me to monopolies. This week, Mark Zuckerberg, one of the world's most egregious, flagrant, wicked monopolists, made a bunch of public denunciations of Apple for...monopolistic conduct.

Or, at least, he tried to. Apple stopped him. Because they actually do have a monopoly (and a monoposony) (in legal-economic parlance, these terms don't refer to a single buyer or seller, they refer to a firm with "market power" - the power to dictate pricing).

Facebook is launching a ticket-sales app and the Ios version was rejected because it included a notice to users that included in their price was a 30% vig that Apple was creaming off of Facebook's take.

https://www.theverge.com/2020/8/28/21405140/apple-rejects-facebook-update-30-percent-cut

Apple blocked the app because this was "irrelevant" information, and their Terms of Service bans "showing irrelevant" information.

This so enraged Zuck that he gave a companywide address - of the sort that routinely leaks - calling Apple a monopolist (they are), accused them of extracting monopoly rents (they do), and of blocking "innovation" and "competition" (also true).

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/pranavdixit/zuckerberg-apple-monopoly

Now, there are a bunch of Apple customers who consider themselves members of an oppressed religious minority who'll probably stop here (perhaps after an angry reply), and that's OK. You do you. But I have more to say.

Apple is a monopolist, sure, but more importantly, they are monoposonists - these are firms with "excessive buying power," gatekeepers who control access to purchasers. Monoposony power is MUCH easier to accumulate than monopoly power.

In the econ literature, we see how control over as little as 10% of the market can cement a firm's position, giving it pricing power over suppliers. Monopsony is the source of "chickenization," named for the practices of America's chicken-processing giants.

Chickenized poultry farmers have to buy all their chicks from Big Chicken; the packers tell them what to feed their birds, which vets to use, and spec out their chicken coops. They set the timing on the lights in the coops, and dictate feeding schedules.

The chickens can only be sold to the packer that does all this control-freaky specifying, and the farmer doesn't find out how much they'll get paid until the day they sell their birds.

Big Chicken has data on all the farmers they've entrapped and they tune the payments so that the farmers can just barely scratch out a living, teetering on the edge of bankruptcy and dependent on the packer for next year's debt payments.

Farmers who complain in public are cut off and blackballed - like the farmer who lost his contract and switched to maintaining chicken coops, until the packer he'd angered informed all their farmers that if they hired him, they would also get cancelled.

Monopsony chickenizes whose groups of workers, even whole industries. Amazon has chickenized publishers. Uber has chickenized drivers. Facebook and Google have chickenized advertisers. Apple has chickenized app creators.

Apple is a monopsony. So is Facebook.

Market concentration is like the Age of Colonization: at first, the Great Powers could steer clear of one another's claims. If your rival conquered a land you had your eye on, you could pillage the one next door.

Why squander your energies fighting each other when you could focus on extracting wealth from immiserated people no one else had yet ground underfoot?

But eventually, you run out of new lands to conquer, and your growth imperative turns into direct competition.

We called that "World War One." During WWI, there were plenty of people who rooted for their countries and cast the fighting as a just war of good vs evil. But there was also a sizable anti-war movement.

This movement saw the fight as a proxy war between aristocrats, feuding cousins who were so rich that they didn't fight over who got grandma's china hutch - they fought over who got China itself.

The elites who started the Great War had to walk a fine line. If they told their side that Kaiser Bill is only in the fight to enrich undeserving German aristos, they risked their audience making the leap to asking whether their aristos were any more deserving.

GAFAM had divided up cyberspace like the Pope dividing the New World: ads were Goog, social is FB, phones are Apple, enterprise is Msft, ecommerce belongs to Amazon. There was blurriness at the edges, but they mostly steered clear of one another's turf.

But once they'd chickenized all the suppliers and corralled all the customers, they started to challenge one another's territorial claims, and to demand that we all take a side, to fight for Google's right to challege FB's social dominance, or to side with FB over Apple.

And they run a risk when they ask us to take a side, the risk that we'll start to ask ourselves whether ANY of these (tax-dodging, DRM-locking, privacy invading, dictator-abetting, workforce abusing) companies deserve our loyalty.

And that risk is heightened because the energy to reject monopolies (and monoposonies) needn't start with tech - the contagion may incubate in an entirely different sector and make the leap to tech.

Like, maybe you're a wrestling fan, devastated to see your heroes begging on Gofundme to pay their medical bills and die with dignity in their 50s from their work injuries, now there's only one major league whose owner has chickenized his workers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8UQ4O7UiDs&list=FLM6hLIAIO-KfsNFn8ENnftw&index=767

Maybe you wear glasses and just realized that a single Italian company, Luxottica, owns every major brand, retailer, lab and insurer and has jacked up prices 1,000%.

https://www.latimes.com/business/lazarus/la-fi-lazarus-glasses-lenscrafters-luxottica-monopoly-20190305-story.html

Or maybe the market concentration you care about it in healthcare, cable, finance, pharma, ed-tech, publishing, film, music, news, oil, mining, aviation, hotels, automotive, rail, ag-tech, biotech, lumber, telcoms, or a hundred other sectors.

That is, maybe you just figured out that the people who care about owls are on the same side as the people who care about the ozone layer. All our markets have become hourglass shaped, with monop(olists/sonists) sitting at the pinch-point, collecting rents from both sides, and they've run out of peons to shake down, so they're turning on each other.

They won't go gently. Every Big Tech company is convinced that they have the right to be the pinchpoint in the hour-glass, and is absolutely, 100% certain that they don't want to be trapped in the bulbs on either side of the pinch.

They know how miserable life is for people in the bulbs, because they are the beneficiaries of other peoples' misery. Misery is for other people.

But they're in a trap. Monopolies and monopsonies are obviously unjust, and the more they point out the injustices they are EXPERIENCING, the greater the likelihood that we'll start paying attention to the injusticies they are INFLICTING.

Much of the energy to break up Big Tech is undoubtedly coming from the cable and phone industry. This is a darkly hilarious fact that many tech lobbyists have pointed out, squawking in affront: "How can you side with COMCAST and AT&T to fight MONOPOLIES?!"

They have a point. Telcoms is indescribably, horrifically dirty and terrible and every major company in the sector should be shattered, their execs pilloried and their logomarks cast into a pit for 1,000 years.

Their names should be curses upon our lips: "Dude, what are you, some kind of TIME WARNER?"

But this just shows how lazy and stupid and arrogant monopolies are. Telcoms think that if they give us an appetite for trustbusting Big Tech, that breaking up GAFAM will satiate us.

They could not be more wrong. There is no difference in the moral case for trustbusting Big Tech and busting up Big Telco. If Big Tech goes first, it'll be the amuse-bouche. There's a 37-course Vegas buffet of trustbustable industries we'll fill our plates with afterward.

Likewise, if you needed proof that Zuck is no supergenius - that he is merely a mediocre sociopath who has waxed powerful because he was given a license to cheat by regulators who looked the other way while he violated antitrust law - just look at his Apple complaints.

Everything he says about Apple is 100% true.

Everything he says about Apple is also 100% true OF FACEBOOK.

Can Zuck really not understand this? If not, there are plenty of people in the bulbs to either side of his pinch who'd be glad to explain it to him.

The monopolized world is all around us. That's the bad news.

The good news is that means that everyone who lives in the bulbs - everyone except the tiny minority who operate the pinch - is on the same side.

There are 1,000 reasons to hate monopolies, which means that there are 1,000 on-ramps to a movement aimed at destroying them. A movement for pluralism, fairness and solidarity, rather than extraction and oligarchy.

And just like you can express your support for "ecology" by campaigning for the ozone layer while your comrade campaigns for owls, you can fight oligarchy by fighting against Apple, or Facebook, or Google, or Comcast, or Purdue Poultry...or Purdue Pharma.

You are on the same side as the wrestling fan who just gofundemed a beloved wrestler, and the optician who's been chickenized by Luxottica, and the Uber driver whose just had their wages cut by an app.

[kaledeedeshra]

-- Prompt 01: Questionnaire

(content warning for: uh like.... existential shit? depressive thoughts? idk)

01. Tell us about your character’s name. Was it given to them or chosen? Does it hold any special meaning? If your character has aliases or nicknames, how did they get them and what do they mean?

When he was first picked up by the Mando’ade, Kal refused to give them his name so they were forced to come up with one for him. He was also a p feisty baby so it amused someone to call him Kal aka the Mando’a word for knife. The joke being like..... he wanted so desperately to be a saber or genuine threat but he was just a lil poke instead. ANYWAY, the name stuck. And of course, Deshra is his clan name. 

For a while, his family and close friends would call him Kal’edee when he was being especially feisty (or, in their terms, adorable)-- it’s a nickname that basically means knife mouth or sharp teeth. He calmed down a lot over the years, but the nickname stuck and the one sister that still talks to him still uses it.... 

also he’s too much of a dumbass to use any aliases even when he has ppl hunting him so like that’s the that on that

02. What is your character’s relationship to their homeworld? Do they hold fond memories of it, or do they hate it? Are they still here, and if not, do they miss it?

Kal barely remembers Wayland, SO i’m going to be talking about Vorpa’ya since that is also his homeworld. 

I mean, he hated it at first because it wasn’t home, but over time he came to love it SO much.... He even loved the hard work that came with farming, although he did very little of that since his specific family were more the guards than the farmers. Being an agricultural world it was Covered in good plants and beauty, though, and he misses it every day. Spaceships and city worlds have NOTHING on Vorpa’ya. Sadly, he can never go back. At least he has his dreams. 

03. Describe your character’s relationship with those who raised them. Was it positive? Negative? Neutral? What sorts of ideologies were they raised with, and do they still stand by them now?

Brief background: Kal has three Mandalorian parents and three Mandalorian siblings, was adopted after a Mando raiding crew destroyed his home and took him with them, and of all of them only his youngest sister is still on speaking terms with him. 

Anyway, it grew from contentious to adoring p damn quick, honestly... Kal's the worst at holding grudges and he was only four when they picked him up, so like. He was really close with his family-- they’re still everything to him. Even after the exile and years of no contact, if any of them called him up out of the blue Kal would drop everything for them. There are like...... Maybe two people in the galaxy he’d value more. 

As for beliefs-- they raised Kal Mandalorian, following the Resol’nare (with some minor clan-specific tweaks, as Clan Deshra was moving towards a slightly more peaceful way of life), and he fully believed. He still does, actually. He doesn’t uphold the tenets anymore, though, having very slowly let go of them after he left. What this means is he fully believes that since he no longer upholds his culture in the way he was taught, he’s dar’manda, or soulless, and when he dies he will have no place with his warrior ancestors. Instead, he will be either destroyed or forced to wander alone for eternity. Basically, he’s going to hell and he’s (kind of) accepted that. 

04. What is your character’s relationship with the Force? Is your character Force-sensitive? Whether or not they are, do they believe in it? Do they lean more towards the dark or the light or are they somewhere in between?

Kal is as force-blind as they come, to be honest. Like, there is NOTHING in there, the force isn’t even sure he exists let alone the other way round. Regardless, he’s spent enough time around Jedi and other force users to know that something is definitely up. He trusts them when they talk about the force, so he believes in it. He just doesn’t believe it has anything to do with him. (If he were force sensitive he would lean naturally towards the light, though. In some alternate universe out there i can feel him.... trying desperately to use the dark side and failing miserably.) 

05. What three word would you use to describe your character? What three words would your character use to describe themself? What three words would someone close to them use?

me: Loyal, obnoxious, clumsy

kal: charming, handsome, useless

jav’nen: dodgy, persistent, sly

06. Describe your character’s aesthetic. Do they tend towards fashion or function? Do they like to accessorize? How does this extend into their own personal spaces, such as their home or their workspace?

Oh, function 100%. Maybe even 1000%, there is no fashion anywhere in Kal’s closet. If it can’t protect him or make his job easier in some way, he’s not wasting money on it. He doesn’t even have any piercings anymore, and personalized painted armor is a thing of the past. Now, this doesn’t mean he doesn’t get starry eyed and distracted every time he walks past a storefront, but the important part is that he doesn’t actually buy the things he wants. 

He has very much the same philosophy with his living space as he does with his clothes. Everything has its function and its place, and unless he’s very distracted or having a depressive episode, everything is immaculate at all times. He’s the kind of nerd that makes his bed as soon as he gets up, and cleans his armor and weapons meticulously every night. No trinkets, no personalization outside of the few belongings that are completely necessary. Any gifts he’s received over the years are in a small safe either in his closet or under his bed depending on the room. 

07. What are your character’s vices? Guilty pleasures? Bad habits? Weak spots?

Most prevalent is probably his willingness to abdicate all thought and responsibility the second someone he trusts tells him to do something. His moral compass is a fuckin roulette wheel because it depends entirely on who’s in the room and who he’s trying to impress at any given time. 

He doesn’t really see that, though, so as far as things he would recognize and admit to: every time he takes his armor off unnecessarily or skips one night of maintenance or lets himself indulge in a good meal or a small trinket or a moment of physical contact, he swears he can feel his soul drifting further out of reach. Most of that isn’t even in direct violation of the Resol’nare, but at this point he’s buried his guilt so far for so long that it’s bled into every aspect of life. Any moment of joy or relief feels undeserved, but that’s never stopped him before honestly!! As long as he can continue the tight rope walk of stringent self discipline to keep the sense of doom at bay, and taking as much joy as he can to keep himself alive, he will!!

Also, he’ll do almost anything for some properly spicy food. 

08. Tell us about your character’s relationship with food. What are their favorites? Do they enjoy cooking? Are they adventurous? Will they eat absolutely anything or are they hard to please?

Spicy !!!! Call him stereotypical Mando’ade but he loves spicy food to death and back. Mostly because it makes him think of home, but also just cause it’s Good. His favorite meal would be his parent’s tiingilar (a spicy casserole)-- as far as he’s convinced, no one else can make it like they did. Every other tiingilar is a disappointment in comparison. He also has a secret soft spot for uj cake, but will only rarely admit to it. 

As far as cooking himself, Kal knows how to make things edible. Barely. He knows enough to survive on his own, and in the wilds he’d be an invaluable resource to anyone less familiar with that kind of cooking, but if there’s literally any alternative you should go with that. Kal’s cooking is for nourishment, not enjoyment. And he’ll eat basically anything, but usually sticks to pre-prepared field rations when left to his own devices. 

09. How does your character feel about engaging in relationships—romantic and / or sexual—with others? What is their history like? Do they fall in love easily? Are they constantly in and out of relationships?

Kal falls in love at the drop of a hat, but Rarely. Basically, love hits him with the intensity and frequency of a lightning strike. That he falls hard and fast doesn’t mean that he admits it to himself or finds it very easy to actually engage in those relationships though-- it’s probably fair to say that Kal has spent the majority of his life pining in one way or another. 

He’s been with a few people, though-- only one previous Serious Relationship, but there was a period of time right after his exile that he tried to be promiscuous and have a few flings. It didn’t end up working very well for him, but it was worth a shot at least. 

For him, sex has always been a far secondary priority to romance. He likes it (at least, when he likes the person its with), but it’s never been his primary goal in a relationship by any stretch of the imagination. He’s a full blown storybook romantic, will treasure the memory of a brief moment of hand contact and all that bullshit. Also if he’s in love with more than one person at once (as is the case right now) he would literally rather die alone than be forced to choose. Don’t get involved with him, he’s a mess. Unless you’re into that, in which case by all means let the boy pledge his life to you. 

10. What is your character’s pain tolerance like? Can they hold their own in a fight, despite injury? If someone hurts them with the aim of gaining information, how much can they take before they cave?

Pain tolerance is one of his primary skills, actually! Finally, something he’s good at !! He can take a punch with the best of them. He has different levels of tolerance for acute pain versus more extended aching, but it’s safe to say that both are higher than average. 

All of his joints are pretty fucked up and usually in one stage of ache or another, which he manages with a combination of the right exercises, a consistent regimen of painkillers/stims, and supportive alterations to his armor. On top of that, it’s a rare day when he isn’t carrying around some injury from the most recent adventure. Basically, he hasn’t really had a pain free day since he was a kid, and even then it was rare, so he’s Very used to operating and fighting through it. 

Regardless, that kind of torture wouldn’t be the way to get him to cooperate. Threaten anyone he cares about and he’ll cave in a second, but hurt or threaten him? That’s not gonna get you anywhere but frustration. Which is to say, the more you hurt him the more annoying he gets. You’d better hope you have a gag handy. 

11. What is your character’s weapon of choice? Are they more skilled as a melee fighter or do they have more skill with ranged weapons? What’s their fighting style like? What sort of training do they have behind them?

Kal has a long standing love affair with his blasters, but he loves his vibroknives even more. Maybe it’s because of his name, or because his aim isn’t the best, but the Second the enemy gets close enough for a good stabbing, the guns are away and the knives come out. 

As for fighting style, he generally relies on being quick and fighting dirty. Honor is for suckers, if you left your dick exposed it’s your fault you got kicked in it, catch him if you can motherfucker. It’s not necessarily the traditional Mandalorian training, but his parents adapted the lessons to suit him better as time went on. He never really took naturally to guns or explosives, so they focused more on grappling and melee combat. 

That said, he’s not the strongest person but he has a lot of training in how to use momentum and leverage to his advantage, so it’s far from unheard of for him to take down much larger opponents, who might have been much more skilled than him in any number of areas. Also, he hardcore prefers setting up ambushes to being taken by surprise, and puts a lot of work into maintaining that. It’s a rare fight that he didn’t see coming, so he usually has an advantage. Especially now that he’s working with a Jedi !! 

12. Does your character have any words or catchphrases that they say frequently? Tell us about how they picked them up.

He tries to minimize that kind of stuff, but Kal still can’t resist throwing up a hushed “Oya, oya!” in preparation for any battle. It’s muscle memory. 

He’s also the kind of nerd that says things like “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” whenever someone leaves his general vicinity. Even just to go to the bathroom. Remember how I said he was obnoxious earlier? He thinks he’s so fucking funny. 

13. Tell us about a negative experience your character has had with either the Jedi or the Sith, and how this has affected their standing. Whether currently aligned or unaligned with either faction, if forced to choose, how would they side?

WELL... I MEAN.... Take your pick: the Sith kind of indirectly screwed over his whole life, and have caused the death of a number of loved ones vs he was hunted by a Jedi for literal years. The second one turned out okay, though, so he’s definitely aligned with the Jedi at the moment. Besides, he loves a good hypocrisy. 

Honestly, though, if circumstances were different he would align with whichever side had more of his friends in it. His allegiances operate at a much more personal/individual level, he kind of doesn’t care what evils a general organization has committed. Things that big picture are hard for him to conceptualize. 

14. How would your character react to seeing a relative or friend on the opposing side of a battle or mission?

Chances are good the result would be immediate capitulation. Kal’s not gonna fight a friend !!! Unless someone he cares about more tells him to! It would go like this: Kal sees friend, Kal drops gun, loved one tells him to pick gun back up, Kal picks gun back up and continues shooting. OR: Kal sees friend, Kal drops gun, no one tells him to pick gun back up, Kal switches sides to hang out with friend. At his most basic instincts, Kal is at all times essentially Patrick Star. 

Friend doesn’t even have to be a good friend, honestly, Kal would fight to the death for anyone from a friendly acquaintance to a bitter rival. That’s just how he operates. 

15. Describe a memory that your character finds embarrassing.

When they started working together, Jav’nen didn’t exactly share that he knew any Mando’a. I’m sure I don’t need to fill in much more but. You can imagine Kal’s longing for death when it was revealed that Jav’nen had heard and fully understood every idiotic nickname Kal had been calling him for months. 

Thinking about it still makes him want to die, honestly.  

16. What goals does your character hold for themself and what steps have they taken towards achieving them? How far are they willing to go to reach them? What is their be-all and end-all?

Goals? Kal hasn’t heard that name in years........

No, but really he’s just waiting for death at this point. I MEAN he has like, smaller, everyday goals. He gets really into it every time he has a job to complete. But if he’s not distracted enough he starts realizing that the rest of his life is just a yawning chasm with nothing waiting at the end, so he’s very attached to those small everyday goals! 

Secret ongoing goal that he won’t admit to himself or anyone else: Jav’nen hug. 

17. What is the one thing your character would change about their life if they were given the chance? What other lives could they have lived as a result?

Not that he would ever, ever admit to it, but Kal’s life would have been very different if he hadn’t been trying so hard to impress his family at all times. Even when they weren’t around.  He has no musical skills in this one, but in some alternate universe out there Kal's a great musician and avoids fighting as much as he can. 

18. Living in such a high-conflict time, how does your character feel about doing what they must to survive? Will they hurt or kill others—either directly or indirectly—to protect themself and / or those close to them? If so, do they regret it when all is said and done?

Oh, I mean, it’s second nature at this point. Even with his clan’s moves towards a more peaceful way of life, combat is so ingrained in Mandalorian culture that it’s become ingrained in Kal too. He’ll hurt and kill people to protect himself, to protect others, to earn money, to keep busy. When all is said and done, as far as he’s concerned, this is just the way the universe works. Everyone dies eventually, in some way, it’s not his fault that he ended up being the executor of their fate. 

It only really bothers him if he doesn’t keep properly distracted. 

19. What is the biggest problem your character is currently dealing with?

How do....... Protect Jedi partner? He’ll never admit it but powerful force users scare the shit out of him more than anyone else, so jedi hunters are like..... nightmare time. With the way the political climate has shifted recently, and his current partnership, Kal’s mind is on protecting Jav’nen pretty much 24/7. Don’t tell Jav’nen, though. That would be embarrassing. 

20. Give us 3+ headcanons of any length or subject matter.

Oh boy, okay. 

1. Fucked joints: I’ve referenced this in an earlier question, but Kal has joint problems. Specifically, he has a genetic thing that means the ligaments and cartilage around his joints aren’t as strong as they’re supposed to be, so his joints bend much further than they’re supposed to and dislocate really easily. This is an advantage in some cases, cause it allows him to houdini his way out of a number of situations, but it also comes with a decent amount of pain. He has his coping methods, though. Such is life. 

2. Animals: He doesn’t often get the chance to show it off, but Kal’s surprisingly good with most animals. Part of that low key farm boy upbringing. Anyway, he’ll never willingly have a pet cause he’d be too worried about them all the time, but you can bet your ass he’s taking advantage of any opportunity to pet someone else’s!! 

3. Physical Affection: SOMEONE HUG THE MAN.......... By that I mean: Kal is at all times craving physical affection. He’s a naturally extremely physically affectionate person, but between a distrust of the general population and a deep seated desire not to inconvenience those he’s close to, he almost never initiates anything. You know when a dog really wants attention but doesn’t wanna get in trouble for barking, so they just kind of sit nearby staring at you and low key vibrating? Kal. At all times. 

bonus. Give us a list of any length telling us why our “fave is problematic.”

i mean does it really need to be any longer than “kills people for money” 

fine

the man has been putting people on pedestals for years will rise to any bait  desperate to please at all times over dramatic  did i mention over dramatic  thinks he’s way funnier than he is is fully willing to let things he’s not cool with fly if someone else says to has been involved in kidnapping and shit would rather die than communicate

[ripplesofaqua]

Written

“It… is only a story.”  ~ Cassandra/Varric ~ AO3/FFN

1,896 words ~ rated T

Varric finds her on the battlements, a wine bottle in her hand and an unopened book in her lap. She stares off into space, her back ramrod straight against the stone wall. Frowning, Varric plucks the novel out of her loose grip, and a quick glance at the cover tells him it’s one of his own. He raises an expectant eyebrow, but she gives no response. Unease blooms in Varric’s stomach, though the bottle remains nearly full. If Cassandra did not drink more than the bottle claims, she’s ignoring him.

Varric has always hated silence.

“Oh, did my writing finally drive you to drink, Seeker? Surprised you’ve tolerated it this long.”

Sure enough, she cannot resist his teasing, though her answer does little to ease his discomfort.

“It… is only a story.” Cassandra’s voice is unusually flat, and still she will not look at him.

“That’s hurtful,” Varric answers plaintively, his hand clutching at his heart in obvious exaggeration. “True, but still hurtful.” All the bravado in the world cannot hide the truth of that statement. He does hurt–not for his book, but for Cassandra.

“No”–she sighs in heavy exasperation–"I mean this is just a story.” She gestures vaguely to their surroundings, but does not offer further elaboration.

For once, the Seeker is reluctant to say what’s on her mind, and Varric finds himself at a loss for words.

So instead of talking, he plops down onto the cold stone next to her, his shoulder a hairsbreadth from hers. Deciding that he is decidedly too sober for this, he steals a swig from her bottle before trying again.

“A story, Seeker? Care to explain?”

“Everything that has happened here–the Conclave, the Breach, the Inquisition… it is absurd. So completely beyond the scope of anything this world has seen that…” Cassandra meets his eyes with a bitter laugh. “Well, if I were not living it myself, I would call it the plot of a poorly-written adventure novel.”

“Ah like one of mine, then,” Varric agrees distractedly while he attempts to sort through his racing thoughts.

With a dazed sort of intuition, he appreciates just how much he has come to rely on her composure–how much they all have. But now, with the cracks in her strength and faith visible, he feels doubt prick at the back of his own mind.

Helplessness–that is what Cassandra fears.

Are we helpless?

Against the enormity of the enemy they face, Varric cannot bring himself to utter empty platitudes, cannot reassure her that they will triumph, let alone survive the war intact. All he can do is comfort her that she is not alone in her anxieties.

He forces a smile onto his face and shifts until their knees and shoulders touch, a warm weight against the cold sky stretching above.

“Oh, this shit is extremely weird. My editor will never believe me.” He snorts. “As if I’d ever get involved with something reasonable.”

“So you are going to write about us?” Cassandra asks in that high, breathy tone she uses whenever he mentions the possibility of a new book. Still, her words are forced and her eyes lack their usual sparkle.

Varric recognizes the attempt, but he will not fall for it.

“Don’t change the subject, Seeker. I know this is bothering you.”

Cassandra scoffs but still leans into him, her head hovering just above his shoulder, reluctant to rest her weight on him completely. She hesitates for a long moment before speaking.

“I… I feel like a character in a book, but I do not know what the author plans for me. For us. I do not like to be helpless.”

Ahh, there it is.

Varric lets out a heavy breath, observing Cassandra’s tired expression through the corner of his eye. This is not a topic he speaks about often but… someone’s got to do it.

She looks utterly miserable.

“Look, the tale of Andraste, the Maker–it is a great story. Ridiculous, sure. Definitely cruel at times. But if it’s the Maker writing, surely it can’t end up all that bad in the end.”

She straightens and tilts her head away from him once more, swallowing audibly. “I trust in the Maker’s will, yes. But I am no longer sure He is the author of all this.” She fidgets and Varric sees undeserved guilt written in her eyes. “So much of this was considered blasphemy, just one year ago. It has shattered the teachings of the Chantry.”

Maferath’s balls, this is even worse than he’d thought.

Varric grasps for something to say, only to be left empty handed. The silence stretches into awkwardness, and so he must say something.

“Well, maybe the Maker’s writing drunk,” he manages to blurt out. “Trust me, things get odd when alcohol’s involved.”

The words replay in his mind and he winces. She is going to kill him for that.

“Ughh.”

Cassandra gives no further protest against his profanity, and while Varric is relieved for his own safety, the lack is telling. At least enough faith remains within her for his comment to earn a disgusted noise.

Varric wonders if it might be wiser to steer the conversation towards a safer topic. After all, he would prefer not to be the one responsible for destroying all of the Seeker’s devotion.

Maybe he can make her laugh, instead.

“Fine, not the Maker then. Someone else. Writing a book to impress their friends.” He pauses to study her with an exaggerated thoughtfulness, his hand scratching at the stubble on his chin. “She’s very drunk. Trying to compete with her favorite, roguishly handsome author. She’ll regret everything come morning.”

“She?”

The glare she aims at him pierces to his core, and he silently rejoices at the rekindled passion there. Right now, anger is even better than laughter.

Cassandra’s fury leaves no room for helplessness.

Varric figures he might as well fan the flames a bit–make sure they don’t burn out prematurely.

“Oh, and why not, Seeker?” he asks, “aren’t all of you are into that romantic stuff? Written in the stars, and everything?”

Cassandra sniffs disdainfully, and Varric is sure he has never seen someone raise their chin at him in contempt so beautifully.

“Like you are not a romantic, yourself, dwarf?” She smirks and his heart soars. “I’ve read your books, Varric. Fated lovers and doomed heroes are your specialty.”

“Fated lovers? I write crime serials, Seeker.”

“Yes, yes, crime serials about tragic characters.” She turns and jabs her finger into his chest. “The older dwarf brother, the Comte and Comtess. H–”

Hawke and Anders.

“I get it, Seeker,” Varric says, pushing her hand away, his voice rough as he forces down his own painful memories. It will help no one if he gets emotional now.

Cassandra braces her hands against her hips, clearly incensed. “No! I still have not forgiven you for the third chapter of Hard in Hightown. I think fate is a dwarf–too cruel to his most beloved characters.”

Varric rolls his eyes–everyone’s a critic these days, though he’s glad she wasn’t referring to… a different couple.

It wouldn’t have been a lie if she had.

Varric has always been attracted to tragedy. At least in his books he puts it to good use.

“Look Seeker, if you love a character, you give them pain, ruin their lives, make them suffer. Then they become more likable–forged into a better version of themselves.”

He won’t mention how fate can also leave its victims battered and broken.

Cassandra is clearly not convinced. “So that is what you do to them? What fate does to us? Makes us more likable?”

Is that why they gave each other shit for so many months?

Varric can’t help but wonder…

“Am I likeable, Seeker?”

Her gaze sweeps up and down his body as she takes his measure. “You are highly annoying, but yes, you are quite likeable.” She leans into him, so close he can feel her breath against his cheek, and her eyes crinkle in amusement. “Am I?”

“Very likeable, Cassandra,” he answers, his voice low and raspy. They’re so close now, their noses are almost touching, and Varric thinks if he just leans in a little bit more…

Then something crashes in the courtyard below, and shouted curses shatter the still air.

Cassandra pulls back abruptly and turns her head away, though she cannot hide the color staining her cheeks. With a quick shake of her head she stands and walks over to the parapet, searching for the source of the commotion.

She’s avoiding him again.

Varric pulls himself up off the floor with a groan and follows after her. He carefully places his hand on her shoulder, hoping that something of the previous moment could be salvaged.

“Cassandra, I–”

She pulls out of his grip and turns to face him, her arms crossed sternly over her chest. “Why are we still having this frivolous conversation?”

Varric won’t let her get out of this that easily. He flashes a smile and spreads his hands open in front of him. “Oh, it’s a common occurrence, Seeker. The writer can’t think of a good way to end things.” His grin grows infuriatingly large. “You know, the strongest characters are never helpless against the author’s plans. They have a life of their own–can take over a scene, even an entire story. It’s annoying as hell when you’re trying to write, but a good storyteller always listens to the voices in their head.”

Cassandra raises a dubious eyebrow. “So fate hears voices in her head and does not know what to do with us. Now what?”

“Well, right now we’ll just have to wait until she comes up with something”–he waggles his eyebrows–“or take charge and end the scene on our own.”

“Ughh.”

She turns to leave, but he catches her wrist.

“Don’t just leave like that. Where’s the drama? The final climax?”

She only glares at him in response.

“Nothing? Alright, how about we list everything we actually like about each other–since we apparently find each other so likeable. Here I’ll go f–”

“No.”

“Everything we don’t like? I thought we w–”

“No.”

“We have to talk about something, Seeker, or this scene won’t be finished for weeks. Here, I spy, with my–”

“This is ridiculous.”

“That sick of me already? Well there is something… Best way to end a scene, really, but you’d never agree…”

“Out with it already, Varric.”

Varric wonders if all this is truly of their own making, or if they’re both being played as fortune’s fool.

There’s only one way to find out, though, so with a deep breath Varric crosses the point of no return.

“We… we could always kiss.”

Cassandra regards him carefully, silently, and he fears the worst.

“Very well.”

“Wh-what was that? I could have sworn you–”

“Kiss me, dwarf.”

Varric has no time to respond. She grabs his collar and their lips collide.

Very likeable, indeed…

Maybe the story won’t end so badly, after all.

[love-god-forever]

Knowing God’s Sovereignty, I Am No Longer Upset at My Short Stature

By Wang Ting

I am short in stature, and this once upset me most greatly. When others’ funny looks and sarcasm came upon me, my self-esteem plummeted, and I could only live in my place agitated, suffering and struggling. Until one day, I encountered the omnipotent God. His words of life opened the mysteries that are unknown to man, guided me to shake off the shadow of being short, and lighted up my new life.

In my childhood, I hoped that I would be taller.

When I was young, because I was shorter than other children of my age, I was placed at the head of the file or in the front row in the classroom. Especially when our teachers asked us to write or do exercises on the blackboard, only when I stood on a small stool could I reach the blackboard. This brought about mockery from my classmates. I felt very ashamed, and envied those taller ones from the bottom of my heart. But I was proud and wasn’t convinced. I often thought: “Though I am less tall than you are now, I will be taller as I grow older.” And so as not to be looked down on me because of my height, I silently made a resolution: “I must surpass you in study.” So in class I listened attentively; outside of class while my classmates were talking, laughing and jesting, afraid of being laughed at, I never joined them but just buried myself in my study. Finally, my hard work paid off—my grades were outstanding, and my teachers and classmates thus paid special regard to me. But yet ridicule could not be escaped. My young heart withstanding such mockery, my personality was becoming solitary and unsociable, and I was unwilling to play with other children.

In my teenager years, I was always troubled because tall stature was out of reach for me.

As time went by, I grew older, yet I didn’t grow much taller. Among all sisters, I was the shortest; such was the case among the girls in my age group in my village and even those a few years younger than me was taller than me. My short stature became a headache for me and so I often sighed silently. Every time when I heard my classmates discussing the subject of height, I would pretend not to have heard or find some things to do to cover up my sufferings.

There was one time when a tall middle-aged woman came to find my mother. As she saw me, she looked me up and down in complete amazement and said, “All your other sisters are very tall, why are you so short?” Hearing this sarcastic words, my face flushed bright red and I could not wait to find a place to hide away immediately. I felt overwhelmed and thought, “You are just tall. What’s the big deal? Your height entitles you to tease me? As the old saying goes, ‘As a tree lives for its bark, a man lives for his face.’ You know clearly I’m short, but still say like this. Aren’t you deliberately taunting me? Who don’t want to be tall?” I was eager for her to leave quickly and didn’t want to see her again. All day I did not feel good and the more I thought about it, the more distressed I was. So I accused my parents, saying, “I am so short and it’s all your fault. If I could be taller, even just one or two inches, I wouldn’t be taunted like this.”

Later on, I encountered my deskmate. She, who was nearly as the same height as me in primary school, had grown to 1.6 meters within several years. I envied her very much and at the same time was disheartened about my height.

After getting married, I suffered snubs from my husband.

After reaching adulthood, in order not to be a laughingstock to others or be looked down upon by them, I contacted people as little as possible. Whenever I went outside, I would wear high heels and only then could I get a little confidence back. Though wearing high heels was exhausting and my ankles even got sprained several times, I was willing to do so in order not to be looked that short. So high heels of various styles became my beloved things. When buying shoes, others focused on whether or not they were comfortable while I paid no attention to that but just focused on whether or not they could make me look taller and more beautiful. After a day’s walking, my feet were often swollen and even my shoes rubbed and gave me blisters, but I could do nothing but endure the pain with secret tears.

When I reached my marrying age, considering my degree and job, I originally planned to find a better partner, but because of my short stature, I had to compromise, lower my standards and marry my present husband. Unexpectedly, he resented me for my height too. In front of the others, he never walked side by side with me but just stayed ahead, because he thought that I was undeserving of him and embarrassed him. Following behind him, I felt extremely miserable. I kept sighing and thought, “I am so short. Before, when I was in my family, I was discriminated against by my villagers. Now, I am married but still avoided by my husband. Why is my life so hard?”

After accepting God’s gospel, I recognized that my height originated from God’s predestination.

Just as I was afflicted by the torment, one of my own family told me about God’s gospel of last days. I saw these words of God, “Since the creation of the world I have begun to predestine and select this group of people, namely, you today. Your temperament, caliber, appearance, stature, family in which you were born, your job and your marriage, the entirety of you, even the color of your hair and your skin, and the time of your birth were all arranged by My hands. Even the things you do and the people you meet every single day are arranged by My hands, not to mention the fact that bringing you into My presence today is actually My arrangement. Do not throw yourself into disorder; you should proceed calmly.”

God’s words allowed me to recognize that whatever family we are born into, whatever kind of appearance we have, and what height we have are all predestined by God; that they cannot be chosen by us humans, nor can they be decided by our parents. Recalling these years, I always felt inferior and pained because of being thought less of by others for my short stature, so much so that I complained to my parents that my height was their fault, complained about others’ mockery, and complained about how my husband treated me and made me unable to raise my head among people. And I stayed away from other people and enclosed myself. Now I knew that my height and appearance are arranged by God, that despite my short stature, God didn’t turn His back on me but instead chose me and made me come before Him and allowed me to see His love for me. Because God’s words comforted me, my heart began to have a feeling of joy and the frustrations and pain of all those years decreased a lot.

Through my contact and living the church life with my brothers and sisters, I found that they were enthusiastic about and full of love for me and never revealed any degradation or contempt. As long as there were things I did not understand, they always were very patient in fellowshiping God’s words with me and wouldn’t stop until I understood. Also, they told me that in the interactions with each other, brothers and sisters all treat others justly based on the word of God, and they encouraged me to fellowship more, and open up about whatever thoughts I had so that we could seek the truth to resolve the problem together. This truly made me feel the love from God. I, who was inferior, finally found the courage to raise my head and speak.

Through seeking the root cause, I knew my inferiority came from my fallacious thinking and perspectives.

God’s words cured the pain in my heart. Then I thought, “My short stature is predestined by God. So why did I feel inferior?” One day, I read this passage of God’s words: “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him.”

What God’s words revealed made me understand that we live in a filthy world that has been corrupted by Satan, that the cultural knowledge and traditional ceremony accepted by us were all influenced and infected by the philosophy of Satan. Our views on life and values have been seriously distorted. We have no truth, so we do not know what is good and what is evil, and we will use Satan’s viewpoint of “people need face like a tree needs its bark” to judge things to be good or evil, beautiful or ugly. Not only do we compare ourselves to others, seek to distinguish ourselves and to make others look highly upon us and admire us in our job and career, but even our appearance that we are born with are judged. The tall and good-looking are welcome and looked upon while the short and ordinary are disparaged and rejected and thus suffer harm and pain. I thought of how because of my short stature, I was unable to show off in front of others or take the stage, others took digs at me and even my husband looked down upon me. All this gave me a sense of inferiority and I lost my hope in life. Then to protect my self-respect, I shut myself off from everyone and didn’t dare to go out, as if I had done something shameful. My sense of inferiority reached a certain point that I felt my life had no meaning. I also thought of how there were many people just like me, all of whom are discriminated against by society because of their height and appearance, lead a difficult life that they even lose the courage to live. Thus, I came to know that what living by Satan’s philosophies and views brought us was only harm. Only by accepting the guidance of God’s word can we possess the right outlook on life and values, break free of Satan’s prison and harm and live a free and liberated life.

I understood that everything God created is good and my heart was unchained.

Once, I went to visit one of my colleagues at her home just when she was arranging her clothes in the closet. She said thoughtlessly, “Because of my physique, finding a dress in my size is easy and I’ll look good in whatever I choose. Considering your height, it seems that finding one in your size is difficult. Maybe every pair of pants you buy needs some alterations….” Though she didn’t really intend what she said, I took her words to heart and felt somewhat awkward because what she said was true. I am short, so finding the right size is indeed difficult and I look bad in anything. If this had happened before I believed in God, I would have heavy hearts and even not want to go out anymore because of my inferiority. But at that moment I realized that my wanting to do that way was a desire to protect my own face, so I hurried to pray to God, begging Him to keep me from being toyed with by Satan.

After returning home, I read these words: “In the thoughts of God, He intended to give each and every appearance, and all sorts of functions and uses, to the various living things He created, and so none of the things God made were cut from the same mold. From their exterior to their internal composition, from their living habits to the location that they occupy—each is different. … In short, when it comes to all things, man should defer to the authority of the Creator, which is to say, defer to the order appointed by the Creator to all things; this is the wisest attitude. Only an attitude of searching for, and obedience to, the original intentions of the Creator is the true acceptance and certainty of the authority of the Creator. It is good with God, so what reason does man have to find fault?” True. God’s words are spoken very well. God has created everything differently, and whether good-looking or ugly, they all have their individual uses, and within them lies God’s wisdom. Just as among billions of people, there are no identical persons; no matter whether man is tall or short, fat or thin, and good-looking or ugly, everyone is special. They all come from wise hands of the Creator, and in God’s eyes, they are all good. I am no exception. Despite my short stature, I clothe myself, eat, sleep and dwell normally, and I live and work normally. In God’s eyes, I am good; God is not biased against me. So instead of complaining about God, I should submit to God’s rule and arrangements, and play my role. This was the direction of life I should pursue. God’s words unchained my heart and I calmly accepted my height. I thought, “Even though I am short, I will still worship God and glorify God.”

From then on, under the guidance of God’s words, regardless of the circumstances that I spoke or did things in, I was no longer constrained by my short stature, nor did I feel lonely or inferior, but instead I got along so well with others and felt so liberated. God’s words have driven my vexation and I finally can raise my head and conduct myself. Now I am actively preaching the gospel and bearing witness to God, so that more people can be released from Satan’s bondage, say farewell to their painful lives, find a true home for their souls and pursue the most meaningful life.