#and more his whole downfall was how much he loved his new family

[franeridan]

doodling ace and suddenly having a lil mental breakdown over him, daily occurrences and all that

[livingdeadhorse]

idk what this is. i like robots. i’ll clean these up later. i think.

anyways while drawing these I started thinking abt like. idk does this count as an AU.

General shit:

I didn't make it clear, but the robots that have pupils were built without a hardcoded purpose. They've always been free to explore what they want to do. The robots with fully colored "scleras" were created with a purpose from the jump, so their creators didn't feel the need to make them appear more "human".

The more expensive a robot's parts are, the less clunky it is.

Right now, I'm going with "their human family built them" but that's liable to change.

The designs are also liable to change because uh. duh.

Celestia Ludenberg:

Viewed the robots with an imbued purpose as interesting and superior (something something humanity's advancement). She wants to be praised like that, so she emulates them

Her cat loves how much heat she radiates so it's always near her.

Most of her upgrades are cosmetic but if they aren't, they're stupid. She won't upgrade her CPU or her motherboard, but she'll load up with three 4090s that her other components can't even keep up with. Yes, she does it to flex.

She'll distract from bootleg, refurbished, or shoddily painted parts by turning on her RGB. It gets annoying.

She knows that she's fairly unsettling and she revels in it.

All things considered, her cable management is pretty good.

Her gambling skill is still just luck here, but she tells everyone it's because she has a never-seen-before GPU(& CPU) that does calculations at insane speeds.

Most don't believe her but have no way to disprove her lie.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

I can't decide if he was built by his father or his grandfather.

Either way, he was built before Toranosuke's downfall, so his internals were all pretty expensive for the time. Luckily for him, that means he was slightly future-proof and has a viable upgrade path.

Unluckily for him, this means he's stuck with really old parts and his 8gb of RAM can barely keep up in a 32gb world sadge

His chassis is built from secondhand or scrap parts. It's why his joints are so ancient in comparison to the rest of him and why he has so much cabling that he can't seem to manage.

Shit chassis = shit airflow = he is always overheating

BUDDY IS YOUR CPU BURNING HOW IS THERE SMOKE

Older tech = LOUD AF. The class bought him new fans to avoid the loud ass whirring. It's not quiet but he used to sound like a jet engine.

He runs on Debian. It was originally going to be Arch since it's lightweight but Debian's whole "old but stable" reputation fits him more. I don't see him properly dealing with bleeding edge software anyways.

His room is filled with past HDDs that no longer have storage. He deems all educational material important so he refuses to delete any lessons. He doesn't have the money for SSDs.

Mukuro Ikusaba:

Is usually in reconnaissance mode, meaning she has a shit ton of hidden cameras in her chassis

This used to benefit Fenrir. Now it benefits Junko.

She can have her parts shifted around with no issue to make room for a better arsenal.

She’s durable in her reconnaissance mode but she’s nigh on untouchable in her combat mode. Her chassis gets 10x bulkier and she can split her attention to several different tasks on the battlefield.

Fenrir Mercenary Group doubles as a weapons company. Mukuro is the only model of her kind though.

They tried to give her reconnaissance model the look of a “normal girl” so she could gather info more efficiently. They failed real bad. They also didn’t account for the fact that Mukuro isn’t good at socializing.

She allocates a CPU core to a process dedicated to Junko. 24/7 365

She believes herself to be less capable of emotion than she actually is. She can’t seem to find the system process that triggers such painful emotions.

Chihiro Fujisaki

Each “fold” in her skirt doubles as a screen. Think of the skirt as having two layers: the top shell and the under shell. The top shell is what doubles as a screen.

Optimized her hardware to work on code as fast as possible (fingers, skirt, etc).

She tends to test out new software on herself regardless of their compatibility with her pre-existing shit. She constantly has to reinstall her OS, but it’s all fun for her.

Speaking of her OS, I was going to make her run on Gentoo but IDK cause of the compile times. It’d be faster if she used distcc but I can’t see her screwing over her classmates like that lol.

So I’m between Nix and Arch.

Insecure about the fact that she overhauled her original model so extensively. Got made fun of for being a ‘defective’ robot. Her father supports her modifications but she still feels bad about having ‘failed’ somehow.

Cue identity issues

She helps out her classmates when it comes to repairs.

Tendency to stay up programming leads to high uptimes. If her friends notice her lagging or crashing, they’ll try to get her to shut down. (In a computer sense lol, not an emotional shut down)

Do y’all remember the xz utils backdoor? Yeah that’s how extensively she combs through code.

Sayaka Maizono

I can’t decide if she was built to be an idol or was originally some other type of robot.

Loves to make kids smile, so she has a sort of candy mechanism in her arm.

Everything about her glows or spins. You will never get bored looking at her.

Her skirt isn’t actually see through I just didn’t feel like erasing the hip joints lmao.

If corpos give her manager enough money, she has to perform with literal ads on her.

State-of-the art facial recognition software. It makes her fans feel special to have their names remembered.

She has a regular sleep cycle due to how load-intensive her everyday life is. Has to shut down for a couple hours every week at least.

Her psychic ability is just her running a million calculations based on people’s behavior and sensing which one is most plausible. This feature is in place to avoid PR disasters during interviews or public appearances.

There really aren’t enough worker’s rights regulations in place for robots.

The company gets alerts whenever she freaks tf out, so she feels even more stifled and repressed. Chihiro helped remove this.

Kyoko Kirigiri

Can’t decide if she was built by her father or grandfather. Probably just built by Jin and he “left” her in Fuhito’s care.

Fuhito made her go through several modifications, hardcoding his own investigative skills into her system.

Her grandfather loves her but has fucked up ideas about her own autonomy.

The events of DR:K still happen. She chose not to replace her hands.

Fuhito doesn’t make much use of a backdoor in her system anymore. He used it a lot more when she was a child but he sees her as a viable heir of the Kirigiri clan now. Chihiro isolated the backdoor to a separate SSD anyhow.

Still complicated father-daughter issues

Everything about her (but her OS) is proprietary, probably commissioned from Towa Industries. Her OS is a fork of Mint. The Windows 7 UI is just because I imagine her grandfather is One of Those lmao.

Has way too many scanners and sensors. She can’t test any evidence herself but she can gather a fair bit of information. Has a vast database for cross-comparison anyways.

Same issues as Togami and Mukuro: sees herself as less capable of emotion than she actually is.

The ramen noodle incident called for actual repairs.

Byakuya Togami

His superiority complex is far worse because he was literally CREATED to be the perfect Togami. You can’t tell him shiiiiiiit.

Gold joints. Scoffs at those with unoptimized cable management or software.

He’s constantly streamlining his own processes. Brings up that he runs on his own OS when Nobody Asked.

Had a similar backdoor to Kyoko’s but Koji did check that one. Obsessively. Nobody would tell Byakuya but He Just Knew. The lack of privacy irritated him. Aloysius helped fix it once Togami finally took over.

Only trusts Aloysius with his repairs. Has a hard time admitting when he needs repairs in the first place so Aloysius hides it under “monthly maintenance”.

Does everything from the terminal even when he 1) shouldn’t and 2) can’t. Bragging rights. He has written a bunch of his own scripts though to speed things up.

Kernel and OS provided to him by Koji. (UNIX-based. Proprietary) Byakuya maintains and builds his own updates. Doesn’t trust cheapskate peasants to do it for him.

Anti-FOSS. For him at least.

Has glasses for the aesthetics. Doesn’t need them.

[jgracie]

talking about pjo x f1… WHAT TEAM WOULD DO YOU THINK THE CHARACTERS BE IN?!

OFF TO THE RACES — PJO/HOO + F1 TEAMS

masterlist | rules

↳ part 2! (i can only put 10 pics in a post 😣)

an anon i got SO excited when u sent this so obviously i had to make it a whole post 😇 love u so much ! also i only included the relevant teams sorry not sorry i was not ab to find some random person to put in kick sauber or wtv it’s called now 😭 should i write reader x driver chars?!?

FERRARI’S DRIVER LINEUP CONSISTS OF . . .

OO1 — PERSEUS “PERCY” JACKSON

after placing 3rd in his rookie season of formula one, percy jackson quickly became a fan favourite amongst newbies and old timers alike! he had no trouble receiving a contract from ferrari at the end of last year, much to williams' dismay, and now seems to be bringing a team that we once thought was having its downfall to the podium! now, he seems to be on his way to winning his first ever world drivers' championship. hopefully, jackson remembers that the higher up you're sitting, the more people there are to tug you down...

OO2 — LUKE CASTELLAN

ferrari loyalist luke castellan has been the italian team's main driver for the majority of his career. none of his teammates could ever beat him - sneaky and speedy, he knows exactly how and when to comeback after a not-so-good weekend. if you're anywhere near castellan on the track, you should be extremely worried. now that ferrari have signed percy jackson in his second year, will castellan be able to hold his ground as their number one guy, or will percy eliminate him like he did the rest of the grid?

RED BULL’S DRIVER LINEUP CONSISTS OF . . .

OO1 — JASON GRACE

if you know red bull, you must know jason grace, who's been part of the red bull family ever since his days in formula four! grace seems to have been born with a god-given talent on the track, his smooth and precise takeovers catching the eyes of all sorts of people in the industry. despite receiving various contract offers left and right, grace stuck with red bull. in recent years, however, fans are beginning to believe that jason's heart simply isn't with them anymore...

OO2 — ANNABETH CHASE

after many years of persistence and hard work at haas, annabeth chase finally managed to catch the eye of red bull's team principal. people were hesitant to warm up to her at first, but she earned their love in no time by consistently placing on the podium and even landing a couple wins! clever cookie chase will do anything to be standing in front of the crowds, champagne bottle in one hand, trophy in the other - even going as far as disobeying team orders and overtaking teammate grace in some occasions, which might prove to be a sticky situation in the coming season

MCLAREN’S DRIVER LINEUP CONSISTS OF . . .

OO1 — LEONIDAS “LEO” VALDEZ

joining mclaren this year is none other than last year's formula two driver's championship winner, leo valdez! with quite the knowledge in machinery as well as fiery speed on the track, leo is definitely a force to be reckoned with. unfortunately, he hasn't been able to produce the results we've all become accustomed to from him, often dnf-ing and barely scoring any points. this might be getting to him, but oh well, all da ladies luv leo anyway!

OO2 — TRAVIS STOLL

completely juxtaposing his teammate and proving that the mclaren car is an absolute beast, travis stoll has quickly become a familiar face to see on a podium that was once a blur of blues and reds. despite this, he's managed to stay humble, insisting the praise should go to his younger brother and race engineer - connor stoll. the two are well known for silly banter and heartwarming singalongs during races. however, recent news of the younger stoll being jealous of his brother has started circulating...

[starreyblueberry]

Timmy’s parents are so interesting to me in writing terms for the show. If you only watch season one you’ll see that while they are busy and neglectful they still love their son, and wanna be by his side. They’re a lot more close, especially as the whole found family aspect is not fully tapped in yet. They always tell Timmy they love him and his mom even defends him against his neighbors. It’s kinda a crazy thing to see when you’re used to them being super shitty. Then season two comes along, and we see his parents be a tiny bit more mean, but they still Love their son! They still take care of him, they’re just a bit less present for him. Then season 3, season 4, and it keeps going downhill. Even before we had the writing actually turn into shit his parents were actually getting worse. I think that’s a huge reason as to why most of us see Timmy’s parents as horrible, we saw the slow progression of both his mom and dad flat out ignore his needs and his fairy god parents loving him more and more. It’s almost needed this close bond to offset how his life is going more and more downhill. There’s always been problems in early FOP but it’s so fascinating how his parents are one of the earliest signs.

Season 5 is the true marker for the fairy odd parents writing, when we really see the writing go downhill but also when we see Timmy’s parents become their worst. They insult, neglect, belittle Timmy like never before. It’s also when we see Timmy’s fairy’s become the closest to Timmy (well it’s also a build up but still). Timmy’s parents while also a victim of bad writing have been doomed form the START!! Cause Timmy needed that miserable fuel to him, or else he would never get as close to Cosmo and Wanda as we see. If Timmy had good parents why would he keep Cosmo and Wanda for so long? I think that’s why we see them be horrible and worse as time goes on, cause as the show went on, they needed more factors to be miserable, and Vicky, francis, Crocker had only so much fuel.

I just find it interesting how out of all the characters who had a downfall, Timmy’s parents had it really early. It kinda signifies how shitty they always were, it was always just played for the whole cartoon humor bit of it. Compared to the new show, we’re instead of a character who has heavy external problems, she deals with ainxety and needs some extra support that hair parents are actually too busy to really provide/emotionally dense. But you don’t see anyone really hate on hazels parents, just cause it’s obvious they love her, while it gets less obvious for Timmy’s parents as time went on. Especially as Timmy’s life was more and more centered around Magic, his parents just, didn’t want to take the time to love him like they used too.

[valerie-is-in-the-cupboard]

HEELLOOO!! Firstly,How are you? I hope you are doing good(sorry for my bad english its not my first language😭)

I absolutely loved the way you wrote hazbin hotel characters ESPECIALLY angel dust.I was wondering if you could write what would Angel Dust be like if its fallen angel!reader's first time? Reader is also insecure about their body since their wings and some parts of their body(not their face) burned when they fell and they are trying to get used to their new appereance(if you are comfortable with writing it ofc).Thank you so much!!🩷🩷

To make sweet love - Angel Dust x fallen angel!fem!reader

MATURE CONTENT AHEAD! MINORS DNI! Hey there, hun! I'm doing well, thank you! Hope you're doing great too 💕 And don't worry about the English, haha! It's not my first language either, so I totally get it. But honestly, your English is really good, so no need to stress! 💕 I absolutely loved your request, and I apologize if it took a bit longer to get to you. I usually try to get things done ahead of time because there are days I'm not home, so I like to have things in the queue to make sure I don't forget to post. So, sometimes new requests might come after the ones already lined up. Anyway, I had such a great time working on this—it was so sweet. You have no idea how much I adore Angie, and I really wanted to make sure he's showered with extra love💕I wasn't sure if he and the reader would be in an official relationship, so I wrote them in a more casual, really close, and comfortable dynamic—kind of like dating, but not quite officially dating, if that makes sense (but i guess you can consider them together by the end of it? It's up to you really). Hope you enjoy it! 💕

Words: ~3800 TW: corruption kink, cursing, first time sex, fingering, vaginal sex, oral (female receiving)

It wasn't easy to adjust to a whole different world. After refusing to participate in the Extermination Day anymore, you were exiled into the realm of nightmares. You found yourself alone, your body bruised and torn after the flames engulfed it in your downfall. Your wings were no longer the ones of a divine saviour, worn with pride and confidence. They were burnt to ashes, only a few feathers managing to offer you a pang of comfort as you would gently wrap them around you.

But one day, gentle hands lifted you up from the ground. You were too tired to fight back, too hopeless to even care about your fate anymore. You closed your eyes and waited for the sweet death that would ease your pain, wondering what other tortures you'd have to endure at the hands of the ones you considered to be monsters. But you didn't die that day. Instead, you found yourself surrounded by the ones who were about to become your family.

Angel Dust was your saviour. You found it quite amusing when he told you his name because, for you, that's what he was - someone who saved you, who listened to your endless prayers and saved your life when you least expected.

Despite everyone's kindness, you found yourself growing more warm towards him and he seemed to enjoy being around you as well. He'd ask you to come to his room where you'd spend hours just talking. He'd ask endless questions about your life in Heaven, and you could sense that part of him wondered if things might have turned out differently for him under other circumstances.

But one day, after overhearing a conversation among sinners, your curiosity got the better of you, as you became quite curious about a topic that was a bit taboo among angels - fornication. You knew that for many people this simple thing led to their damnation, but you couldn't help but wonder - was it really that good?

Being an exorcist made you only focus on your job, not really having time to think about stuff like these. But now that you were here and had nothing else to do, you couldn't help your mind from wandering off at times.

You knew what Angel Dust did for a living and you also knew how much he actually hated it, so you tried not to ask about stuff like these too much around him, trying to take his mind off the horrible things he had to endure. But as you lay next to him, watching him scroll numerous messages from Valentino, you couldn't help it.

"Angel...?" you whispered, a dark blush on your face while you fiddled with your fingers.

"Yeah, hun? What is it?" Angel Dust said in a casual and lazy tone as he continued to scroll through his phone, reading the messages from his boss, rolling his eyes as usual as he read through them one by one.

"How... does it feel?"

Angel Dust raised an eyebrow and shifted his focus from his phone to you. "How does what feel, exactly?"

"You know..." you said, your face getting redder as seconds went by. "Fornication?"

Angel Dust chuckled and put his phone down, gently resting his arm behind his head, a look of subtle surprise spreading across his face as he looked at you. "You want me to describe sex to you, darling?"

"Yes... Is it really that good?" you calmed down a bit when he seemed comfortable with your question. After all, it wasn't really something he was ashamed to share.

"Oh, baby doll..." Angel Dust said with a smile and a laugh, clearly amused by your question. "Yeah, it's pretty damn good. Of course, it's a lot better if you actually love the person you're doing it with, but even just casual hookups feel pretty good, too."

"But... why do you hate to do it sometimes then?"

Angel Dust's expression became a bit more serious, and he sighed as he looked away from you for a moment before speaking again. "There's a big difference between doing it by choice with someone you like, and doing it because you 'have to' in order to pay the bills. Valentino makes me do it way too much and with... less desirable people."

You nuzzled against his neck, as his arms wrapped around you, the warmth of your body against his always managing to make him feel a little fuzzy. "Do you think anyone would want to do it with me?"

Angel laughed and gently ruffled your hair as he held you close, his hand wandering across your body, tracing the curves of your figure. "Oh, sweetheart, you're adorable if you think you'd have a hard time finding someone to do it with you. Any guy would be damn lucky to have you in his bed. Or gal. Either works."

You chuckled, but a hint of sadness could still be noticeable in your eyes. "I don't know... I feel like people would be... repulsed by the way my body looks..."

Angel rolled his eyes, an amused expression on his face. "And what do you mean by that, darling? Your body looks gorgeous as all hell."

"But these scars..." you said, slightly lifting up your sleeve to reveal a part of those dark memories.

His expression softened, and he gently touched the scars, tracing them with his fingers. "Darling, these scars just make you look more badass. Anyone who judges you by them isn't worth spending time on. Believe me, sweetheart, you look absolutely gorgeous."

You smiled softly at his compliments. He always lifted you up when you felt bad about your appearance. "And like... does it hurt when you do it... the first time, I mean?"

"That depends on a couple of things, darling..." He said in a slightly more playful tone, gently tracing his fingers across your skin. "If the person you're with is careful and takes their time, probably not. If they're too rough and hasty, it could hurt like hell."

"They're supposed to be someone... you trust then, right?"

Angel Dust nodded and gently moved his hand to caress your cheek. "Yeah, it's supposed to be someone you trust. Someone who cares about you, who'll be gentle and take good care of you, y'know?"

"Angel... Would you want to..." you began, your face burning as words came out of your mouth. "... you know..."

Angel Dust's expression changed to surprise as he looked at you. He wasn't expecting you to ask such a thing, not from you. He gave you a sly smile as he began to gently move his hand down your body. "Are you serious, darling?"

Your eyes widened as you moved away from him. "I... I'm sorry... I didn't want to make it weird..."

Hi's expression softened and he gently pulled you back towards him, wrapping his arms around you. "No, no, you didn't make it weird, darling. I'm just... I'm surprised, that's all." He let out a little laugh and looked at you with a smile. "Are you sure you want this, hun?"

"Well... you said it has to be with someone I trust... And I trust you, Angel." you caressed his hand, gently tracing your fingers against his. He let out a long sigh and looked at you, his eyes travelling down your figure. He was torn; on one hand, a part of him always wanted to do it with you. You made him feel safe and he couldn't help but want to make you feel good, but he never told you anything for fear of making you feel pressured. On the other hand, he was afraid he might destroy this sweet little thing that you two had. It was so innocent and nice and only the thought of him messing things up and you not wanting to talk to him anymore was too big of a risk for him.

He gently pressed his forehead against yours, looking you in the eyes as he spoke. "We can do it, darling. On one condition." You watched him with big eyes, curious of what he was about to say. "If at any point you want to stop, you tell me, ok?"

You smiled, placing a small kiss on his lips. "You too, Angel."

He chuckled and returned the kiss, gently caressing your skin with his fingers. He slowly moved against you and pinned you down on the bed, hovering over you with a small smirk on his face.

"I'll be fine, beautiful..." he said in a playful tone, his hand gently tracing down your body down to your hips. "Now, there's something else I need to ask you, darling. How much experience do you have, exactly? Like... I get that you never had sex, but you must've done things, right?"

"No... not really."

Angel Dust's eyebrows rose, but he didn't lose the smile on his face. "So you've never found any freaky angel up there, huh? Not even had fun by yourself?" You shook your head, feeling a bit embarrassed by your lack of experience.

He chuckled and gently brushed a few hairs out of your face. "Darling, you're way too innocent for your own good, you know that?" he leaned down, placing soft kisses on your neck that sent tingles down your spine. "You know... I'd lie if I said I didn't... fantasize about this moment from time to time..."

"R-Really?" you asked, as his lips softly caressed the skin.

"Mhm..." Angel Dust hummed as he started gently nipping your neck, leaving a trail of kisses along your collarbone. "The thought of seeing someone so pure like you do such things... Kinky."

His fingers intertwined with yours, gently squeezing your hands as his other two caressed your body. His hand slipped underneath your shirt, the warm touch making you tremble in excitement. His fingers quickly found your nipple.

"No bra today, sweetheart?" It pleased him how much you trusted him and allowed him to touch your body like this, and the feeling of your chest, completely naked under your shirt, gave him a certain... satisfaction.

"Ah~ fu- Angel!" you gasped when he grabbed your hardened nipple, gently playing with it.

Angel Dust let out a little laugh, watching your every reaction as he touched you. The way you gasped and squirmed, your body hot against his, it all made his chest fill with excitement. "You're so sensitive, darling... I can't wait to see how you'll react to everything that's coming~"

He pulled away from your body, gently raising your shirt as his eyes looked for any sign that you wanted to stop. You looked away as he revealed your boobs. You two were close, yes, but you always hid your body, so the fact that he's seeing it for the first time made you a bit self-aware.

"Don't look away, darling... You're beautiful," he said, his eyes admiring your body. "I want to see every part of you." He leaned down, his lips crashing into yours, as his hold on you grew tighter, his tongue gently sliding into your mouth.

He took your hands, placing them around his body, your fingers brushing against his soft fur, tugging it slightly. A soft moan slipped from Angel's mouth against yours as he felt your touch, sending waves of pleasure through him. He pulled you closer to him, his body pressing against yours, and you felt him getting excited against your skin.

He pulled away from your mouth and went lower, placing kisses along the path. He gently licked one of your nipples, a soft gasp escaping you. He was enjoying every reaction you gave, the way you squirmed and trembled, it made him want to keep going, to keep teasing you and make you want more. He harshly started to suck on your nipple, as his other hand played with the other. You arched your back into his touch, feeling yourself getting hotter with every moment.

"Angel... Please... I want more!" you pleaded as you felt yourself getting wetter with every moment. You were desperate to feel some pressure. You needed this.

"Patience, darling... You'll get what you want, just wait a little longer~" he said in a teasing tone, enjoying how you were at his mercy. You let out a desperate scoff and you moved your leg slightly, touching his clothed hard cock. He let out a soft gasp, his eyes snapping back to you, his expression a mix of surprise and excitement. "Mmm... now that's a good girl. Getting impatient, are we?" he smirked, his expression growing more sly as he spoke. "Alrighty then. I guess we can skip a few steps," he said and traced the waistband of your pants. "You alright, babe?"

"Yes, Angel. Please! I want this!"

Angel Dust smiled, his heart fluttering slightly as you begged him for it, your voice pleading and desperate. "Okay then, darling..." he said, gently starting to undo the buttons of your pants. "I'll give you what you want, don't worry." He slowly caressed your legs, looking at you with a mischievous smirk on his face. "You ready, sweetheart?" he said, his eyes full of excitement. You nodded, your heart beating like crazy. "Alright. You tell me if you want me to stop." Gently, he took down your panties, his eyes fixed on your pussy, your juices shining in the dim light of the room.

He placed your legs on his shoulders, lowering himself, his breath hot against your skin. You gasped when his mouth attached to your heat, his tongue making a mess of you. Your back was arched, as your hands tightly grabbed at his hair, his arms strongly keeping you in place.

"Oh, shit! Angel- Fuck, yes!"

Angel Dust smirked against you as he heard you swear, your curses making his heart pound as he continued to use his tongue. "Mmm, honey... you taste so good, no wonder I have a sweet tooth~"

His tongue moved in circles on your clit, as you lost yourself in pleasure. The sensation was electrifying in your body, sending waves of pleasure that left you shaken. You felt his finger slowly entering you.

"Ah, fuck…" you breathed, your body gradually adjusting to being spread, even though it wasn't much.

"Does it hurt?" Angel asked, his movements measured and careful.

"No. Don’t stop, please…" you whispered, and he began to move just a bit faster, his tongue and finger working together in perfect rhythm. The sensation was intense, and as you felt another finger trying to enter, there was a slight discomfort. But with how wet and needy you were, it only made you more eager.

"Jeez, are you already close?" he murmured, noticing how your body reacted, tightening around his fingers as they slid in and out, your juices making everything slick.

You couldn't find the words to answer, too focused on the way his fingers moved inside you, each drag against your sensitive walls sending shivers through you. He kept going, the knot in your stomach winding tighter with every passing second. Just as you were about to unravel, he pulled back, sensing how close you were.

"Woah! Slow down, honey," he said with a soft chuckle, pulling away and leaving you with a whimper of frustration.

"Why'd you stop?" you asked, feeling your orgasm fading slowly as you tried to regulate your breathing. He came closer, placing a kiss on your forehead.

"Listen, toots. If you want me to keep going, I need you to be just as horny as you are right now. Finishing now can make you a bit... sensitive and it might hurt more." he explained, running a hand through your hair. "But if you're not ready for this, we can finish this up and then grab a snack and watch something." You let out a sigh, looking at him and you could tell he was concerned, not wanting to push you too far too quickly. "It's your call, baby! Just tell me."

You cupped his face, kissing him softly. "I want you, Angel... So, do as you know it's best." Angel Dust smiled against your lips, feeling your body still shiver slightly in his grip. He let out a soft chuckle and looked down at you.

"Alright, darling... just relax. I'll take good care of you, I promise. Just let me know if it gets too much, alright?" You nodded and he kissed your forehead again, getting up to undress.

You watched as the clothes gracefully fell off his body. You always admired the way he looked as he never missed a chance to show you as much as he could. But this time it felt different. It felt intimate. It felt right.

He noticed the way your eyes locked on the tent in his boxers, a bit taken aback by how big it was. He approached you, gently cupping your face. "Hey, I know it might seem scary to... see a dick for the first time." he chuckled. "You don't have to continue if you don't feel like it."

"I do! It's just... I'm a bit nervous, that's all." you smiled, caressing back his hands.

"It's okay to be nervous, darling. You have nothing to worry about, alright? I'll be gentle... Just trust me." He kissed your lips as you both leaned back on the bed, his arms gently propping himself up above you. His hands caressed your body, running down your sides, feeling the softness of your skin as you lay beneath him.

He lowered his hand down to your core, his fingers coating themselves in your wetness. You moaned in his mouth as his long finger entered you once again, the motion a bit faster than earlier. His lips brushed against yours, his thumb drawing circles on your clit as you felt yourself getting close again.

Feeling you getting tighter, he pulled back, taking off his boxers. Before you could realise what was happening, he crashed his lips against yours again, as you felt something brush against your entrance.

"You ok, honey?" he asked, drenching the tip of his penis in your juices.

"Yes. I want it, Angel! Trust me!" you said, feeling a bit nervous, but not regretting any moment of it.

"I do, baby," he said and pressed his tip inside of you, slowly. With slow movements, he gradually entered, pulling out from time to time and entering a bit more after. You hissed at the stinging sensation but felt a bit more calm when you realised it was not as bad as you thought it would be. You kept a hand on his chest, slowly pressing when the stinging sensation became too much, and he would immediately pull back.

With one hand he started rubbing your clit, his movements less painful as the pleasure made you relax more. He kissed you as soft whimpers filled the room. "It's almost in, baby. You're taking me so well." His praise sent a tingle in your stomach, as his dick came in and out of you.

The sensation of fullness combined with the way his fingers teased your clit was surprisingly arousing. Your body responded eagerly, your juices flowing freely around him, as he bottomed out inside you

You looked at each other, desire visible in your eyes. There was something so special about this, so erotic, but pure at the same time. Angel's heart was beating loudly, as his hands roamed through your hair. It felt like he didn't only stop to give you time to adjust, but as if he wanted to spend some more time like this, in this moment.

His thrusts were slow and deliberate, allowing you to feel every inch of him. You moaned in unison with each movement, his pace on your clit quickening.

Without realizing it, his thrusts deepened, sending waves of pleasure through your body. He froze, concern flashing in his eyes, but you wrapped your legs around his waist, urging him to continue.

"Angel, please, don't stop!" you said as his pace fastened, the knot in your stomach getting tighter with every move.

"Shit, toots... You're a freaky one, ya knew that?" he said in between grunts, his breath tickling the skin of your neck. The feeling of his cock brushing against that sweet spot over and over again shot a strong, electrifying wave of pleasure through you, a moan escaping his mouth as you got painfully tight around him, your body trembling at the sudden feeling.

With a few deep thrusts, he finished inside of you with a guttural growl, his body collapsing on top of yours as he breathed deeply. He looked down at you, a lazy smile on his face. "You okay, darling? I didn't hurt you, right?" he asked softly, his breathing slowly steadying.

You hugged him tightly. "I love you, Anthony..." you whispered, hiding your face in his fur. Angel Dust's heart practically melted at your words, the way you said his real name always made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer against him, his face nuzzling in your hair.

"I love you too, sweetheart. So, so damn much," he replied, his voice a soft whisper against your ear.

"So... can we do it again?" you asked, as you rested your head on Angel's chest, his breathing still heavy.

"Toots... it's been the fifth round already... Aren't you tired?" he said, a soft, exhausted smile on his face.

"Nope," you said, making a pop sound at the end. "Cherri told me about a sex position and I want to try it."

Angel Dust let out a laugh and let his head drop onto the pillow, his eyes locked with yours. "Oh my god, you are unbelievable. How much stamina do you have, darling?" he said, slightly shaking his head.

"I'm an angel so... a lot."

Angel Dust chuckled at your reply and rolled his eyes playfully. "Of course... of course you are." He let out a sigh and looked at you for a moment, trying to think. "Alright, tell me about this position."

Your smile grew wider as you started to explain this new idea, but he wasn't fully listening. He got lost as his eyes adoringly looked at you. Yes, you became a little sex gremlin since your body got used to it, but it was the kind of sex he always craved - it was loving, safe, and warm. It made him feel special, wanted for more than his body.

Someone like him, who had nothing to live for anymore, finally found a reason. A reason to fight through the miserable life that he was cursed to have for eternity. And he wasn't willing to lose it.

Tags: @ratsematary @littlebluefishtail

[lady-embers]

I think a lot of people continuously overlook the GOOD Nesta did during the series and only focus on her "hateful attitude". Sometimes actions show more than words and Nesta is an action girly.

ACOTAR- She tried to protect Feyre in the market. She went after Feyre when Tamlin took her. She essentially told Feyre to go and save Tamlin and not to worry about them. She was ready to marry someone to help have one less mouth to feed for Feyre. She chopped wood for two days in a row.

Also, I think this quote is important from book 1 from Feyre about Nesta:

"I looked at my sister, really looked at her, at this woman who couldn't stomach the sycophants who now surrounded her, who had never spent a day in the forest but had gone into wolf territory.... Who had shrouded the loss of our mother, then our downfall, in icy rage and bitterness, because the anger had been a lifeline, the cruelty a release. But she HAD cared - beneath it, she had cared, and perhaps, loved more fiercely than I could comprehend, more deeply and loyally."

ACOMAF - She wasn't in here much but both her and Elain opened their home to Feyre and the IC for the war purposes when they were taught their whole life to be scared/fear the fae and ended up turned against their will for their efforts which is incredibly traumatic.

ACOWAR - Nesta helped with the Queens and the High Lords. She helped Feyre and the whole Raven attack thingy. She participated in the war and almost died trying to save Cassian and then beheaded Hybern. She then helped tend to the wounded and dieing. She really had no time to sort through her own trauma during this time either since she was looking after comatose Elain and in a place where she didn't want to be.

ACOFAS - We see her drowning in her trauma. She can't even take baths (which Feyre had said in ACOWAR she'd help with as she never thought about how the Cauldron affected them). She is invited to party with rent money held over her head (despite the fact she had a job as human emissary during the war so where is the money promised to her from accepting that job from Rhysand?) While there, Feyre remarks how uncomfortable Nesta is but doesn't both to wonder why, and come to find out fire bothers her because it reminds her of her father's neck snapping RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. Cassian runs after her and even though she wants to be alone she's hounded and is seen as the bad guy for not taking his gift. A gift he proceeds to throw away, like a child, into the water because she didn't take it...At this point she just wanted to be left alone and they kept hounding her and not respecting boundaries she was putting up.

ACOSF - She is still drowning..she is forced into the HOW (feyre said she'd be tied and thrown there essentially so it wasn't really a choice) where she has to walk down 10,000 steps (which she physically/mentally/emotionally could not do so she was essentially a prisoner since no help was offered by feyre and Amren own words and let's not forget those same steps were used as punishment for Rhysand and the bat boys)..she starts training though and finds her own found family in Gwyn and Emerie. She helps the IC multiple times with things in ACOSF to and even saves Rhysand, Feyre, and Nyx very lives. She even says sorry to Feyre and Feyre doesn't hold anything against Nesta, not even telling her about the babies wings because at least she told her. We also find out she tried to write letters to others to help during their poverty times and her boots weren't as new as Feyre made then out to be showing Feyre as an unreliable/biased narrator.

All in all, I wouldn't say Nesta is an absolutely terrible horrible nasty person that is beyond redemption or forgiveness.

She is a woman who has been traumatized from a very young age starting with her mother/grandmother to being turned fae to PTSD from war/her father and doesn't know how to cope so she lashes out (which is a VALID TRAUMATIC RESPONSE) to push others away because she HATES herself more than anyone else does. She knew lashing out was wrong but didn't have the tools/upbringing to know healthy responses. It's really not until Gwyn and Emerie came along and showed her UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that she began to change and learn better and new healthy coping mechanism to let go of the bad ones.

Now, I'm not saying her trauma response was good or acceptable or excusable, but I do think she deserves some grace and compassion given all she's been through herself. Trauma is not a comparison game after all and we all experience and cope differently. Just like these characters.

Artist is Crisol Crowling or crisolcrowling on IG!

[oh-no-its-bird]

I kind of ended up w a small pile of Hatake ocs and lore to fill the early konoha timeline void, and a big thing is like. They all die to preserve the narrative. A lot of them very young bc again, made to fill the time line, so logically, there had to be some Hatake kids/teenagers who met an unfortunate end.

So I'm kinda sitting here considering a 4 part fic where each chapter revolves around a specific Hatake and their inevitable death, w maybe a bonus chapter at the end being about Sakumo

"Death of the Wolves," the unfortunate end of the Hatake's, told in 4 parts

The Hatake's helped set the Konoha standard rule of "a team can only be made up of so many % of one clan" (with special exceptions) after a large chunk of them got sent on a mission together bc of their specializations and all wound up dead, wiping out a solid 90% of the clan in one night.

Actually, expanding on that bc the tragedy is so good -> I already established that in my time line, the Hatake head, Haruka (Sakumo's mother, Tobirama and Hashirama's aunt) died under a week after Tobirama's death, and she would have lead that failed mission. Does that mean one of Hiruzen's first acts as war time Hokage resulted in the accidental slaughter of his beloved dead Sensei's mother's clan? That's amazing actually, so much drama there. I bet him Danzo and Kagami argued like crazy after that monumental fuck up, probably went on to define how he feels ab being Hokage / what that entails. Fun times!

Anyways, I'd also be very interested in exploring early konoha politics n stuff. Especially from the multiple views of not the people in charge of making the village but the ones who are living in it. The view from the ground up, instead of looking down from the tower. The younger generations being brought to this new village, going from their isolated clan lands to suddenly being surrounded by others their age from different clans, possible for the first time ever depending on their age and their clans level of secrecy.

Also, I really wanna poke at the outsider pov of Madara and other founders— but mostly Madara bc I find his downfall very fun to think about, especially from the POV of someone not in his clan.

I'm so in love w the take of the Hatake's being fond of Madara bc "he'd make a very good Hatake." Something about the two tropes of the Uchiha being a clan that loves love and the Hatake being a clan w similar values when it comes to family and loyalty just meshes so well.

Comedy moment where Haruka is weirdly insistent on Madara potentially marrying into the clan, not even for the politics or anything but specifically bc she NEEDS a cute squishy Hatake baby with his massive hair. She NEEDS IT, MADARA.

Anyways also just the early konoha inter clan drama but like. From the eyes of the clan kids. The Uchiha kids seem to be having some sort of terf war with the Senju— but it was interrupted by the Hyuuga, and now the Senju and Uchiha kids are somehow banding together against the Hyuuga? But oh no now the Nara kids are teaming up w the Hyuuga, and the Hatake kid (singular bc there's literally only like 1) seems to have an actual blood feud going on with the Hyuuga clan heir— but the older Hatake teenagers are fond of the Hyuuga's baby clan heir so it's just a mess. All the clan drama but with none of the tragedy bc everyone involved is a child.

Meanwhile the older clan members are somehow bonding over their children's fights bc they're all struggling to pull them away, or going "what the fuck do you mean you teamed up with the SENJU??" Then sharing a disbelieving Look(tm) w the opposing Senju's parents before realizing what they just did and having a crisis of faith ab it

Meanwhile the teenagers are having a wonderful time, especially those from smaller more isolated clans like the Hatake. There's so much romantic drama, there's probably a whole shinobi soap opera happening in that direction. Hormonal shinobi teenagers from opposing clans just got dropped into the same dating pool it's gonna be a MESSSS.

Even funnier if you take crumbs from my senju weed empire au and like. Some of these clans regularly smoke n stuff. Meanwhile other clans have never touched a psychedelic in their life. Some are especially vulnerable to drugs due to heightened senses (Orochi, Inuzuka, Hatake) while others have been smoking since they were younger and have an insane tolerance and very much distorted views of a reasonable amount of weed to smoke (Senju, Nara, Shiranui) There is no way in hell that goes well. Someone is going to get fucked up in a MAJOR way.

Well-intentioned Nara accidentally gets a bunch of dog wired guys and one snake high out of their fucking minds, the high lasts a full week for some of them and one sometimes wonders if they ever really came down from it

Anyways I got a bit off track but yeah! Early Konoha fic that revolves around the daily lives of differently aged Hatake ocs, taking a look from different angles of Konoha and all the silly clan drama and daily lives of an early Konoha shinobi— each chapter being different degrees of generally lighthearted, but ending in the Hatake's death. The fact that each Hatake is in with a different crowd and is a different age would make it even more fun and easier to explore the different layers Konoha has to offer! It's for sure on my list of things I wanna write

(Also I'd really love to have it just so I can point to it as a good introduction for my Hatake ocs. I love tricking people into learning ab my ocs it's great)

[silviakundera]

"But I have my reasons."

"So does every other sinner in the world."

It's been quite obvious from the drama for a while now that the Princess Royal screenwriter feels pity for Su Rongqing and considers him a tragic figure. I recall being asked early on if I thought the writers are trying to redeem him. And I said no, not exactly. And I still stand by that!

They didn't give him any out or excuse for his hand in the bloody end of their original timeline: the dirty secrets reveal scene does not soften his actions in any way or reduce Li Rong's disgust. Ronghua still rejects his grand-standing words and his refusal to see that the noble class can't continue like this. He gets his chance to tell his perception of past events but Pei Wenxuan also gets a chance to share competing observations. Li Rong and Su Rongqing still get their philosophical face-off in the throne room. No one is completely wrong or right. There were no heroes in the original timeline.

"Let's not deceive ourselves or others anymore. I understand your stubbornness. Your heart is with the light, yet you dwell in darkness. You refuse to acknowledge your identity, so you can only disort the truth."

We see Li Rong and his brother reach out a hand to him many times, telling him he can still turn back. Li Rong was never in love with him romantically but he accompanied her for years during a dark period for both of them; she's not a heartless person (that's the whole point!), so ofc she would take his hand and pull him back from the edge if he was just willing to grab it. She wants to reach him: that's what the whole throne room scene is about. But she cannot. His last moments in the drama have both Pei Wenxuan and Li Rong calling out to him.

He may be a poisonous snake, but he doesn't have to bite the frog when crossing the river.

He is given chances but he doesn't take them. That's why he's tragic: Because he is right about this ONE THING (Li Chuan isn't suited to be emperor), feeling desperately certain about it while it seems no one else understands the stakes and his heroic mission. But he's wrong about everything else.

This is a story about time travel and what if you could re-do your youth: better support a troubled sibling, stand up to toxic family, fix your marriage, widen your perspective... And Su Rongqing misses all his opportunities because he's not taking his chance to better connect with others, not using the wisdom of all those extra years to better understand the populace and the people around him, and handle his life & relationships with more grace. He just narrow-mindly focuses on the mission - he can't reset, can't let go of the past life and the current system.

So many other people in this tale have been shifted: Shangguan Ya, Su Ronghua, Li Chuan, Qin Zhen Zhen, even the fail emperor has a revelation about how crap he is.

His inflexibility and inability to seize the opportunity of a do-over in life and be a new Su Rongqing acts as a contrast to measure how much Li Rong and Pei Wenxuan have been growing & changing. And it shows us why they triumph and why they deserve their happy ending.

Tragic doesn't mean innocent. It doesn't mean he didn't have a hand in his own downfall.

I know not all readers found him compelling in the text, but I did think he was a neat character and tbh I think the novel would be diminished without him. I can see what the screenwriter was trying to do with him - all that dramatic music is his POV. We get glimpses of the good times & his good intentions that contrast with his failure to live up to any of it. He's given narrative importance as their foil and the writers wanted him to be a full fledged 3rd time-traveler character that the audience is interested in (hoping, like Li Rong & his brother do, that he can be saved). The promise is there in the essential character, I can see it in the text. But in the drama they failed to create investment from the audience in the right way.

imo a big misstep is that the framing early on made viewers feel he was intended to be a valid love interest. In the drama, his romantic interest in her is overt while in the novel it was ambiguous for the first 60% of the story. Writers even added a couple moments that felt OOC where we are in his head and it seems like he is actually intending to win her back romantically (which is contradicted by his novel-compliant speeches in ep 34 & 40 about how he knows they can't be together because as her betrayer he doesn't deserve it.)(now I'm curious to rewatch them, I am really wondering if it was intended to be a slight of hand where he is meaning her return/freedom/rise to power/the life he owes her and the audience is intended to misread as him saying he will become her bf again 🤔🤔) Regardless, in a romance narrative, this will make many viewers reflexively dislike him, protectively wanting him away from their otp. He is perceived as a real suitor who has a chance -- which hits different to a shipper.

The execution was flawed. I do think that casting a magnetic actor who can portray bottled up emotion & inner turmoil, such as Zhang Wanyi, would have made a big difference in mitigating the earlier mis-cues. But on the other hand, I'm fairly satisfied with his character handling from ep 30-40. And it wasn't really badly done, ep 22 and onward. The real problem in his handling was the first 50%.

[pandorasfavorite]

Hi! Can I have a Dom x Reader with the prompt of "But you gotta believe me I'm never leaving you'll never cry long as I am there"? Can you make it SUPER fluffy pls?

I Have Lost it All

AN: I love hurt/comfort it's like a addiction

What could be more embarrassing than losing a little match? After weeks of training and preparation, she just swoops in and takes everything you’ve been working for like it was easy. The loss was a feeling that is hard to describe, imagine thousands of needles prickling your entire body, reminding you of not only the physical pain but also of the fact that all the hurt was for nothing. 

The worst part of it all was that the physical pain was no match for the instant stutter of your heart, your lungs constricting with what's left of your borrowed air. You clutch your chest and you will your legs to push just a little further… to endure the stinging and ache for 5 more minutes until you can make it to a room. You push the dingy storage room door open with what’s left of your strength and you slide your body back against the door. Locking it closed with only your body weight. 

You hug your knees, letting your head loll back to hit the door, your chest constricting harshly from lack of air. Your sobs hiccuping, no hope of calming down your cries of disappointment. Your eyes are squeezed shut, only dots of white popping up behind your eyes. Your dull fingernails are digging into your pant legs, self-deprecating thoughts pushing to the front of your mind. 

You couldn't register anything aside from your own embarrassment and disappointment in yourself. The self-pity distracts you from the unsure footsteps from outside the closet. A body slumps against the other side of the closet door, and a heavy sigh as the person sits down. Then there was a small, timid knock…

Without hesitation, you sniffle and call out to the person without any real confidence, “Go away!”, you barely manage to get out. There’s silence on the other end of the door and for a small moment, you thought the person has listened to your pathetic instruction. “It’s Dom”, he says softly and just barely distant, sounding as if his head is also leaning back against the door. Your sniffles do not subside, if anything they get worse, your eyes leaking with tears. 

He was the first and last person you wanted to see, was he here to tell you that you’re out of The Judgement Day? “Please..go away”, you say weaker, anyone could hear the wobble in your voice and the tremble of your breathing. 

“I won’t- no- I can’t leave you like this”, he says through the door, fidgeting with his hands. He’s anxious to comfort you, he doesn't want to mess up something so new and genuine. You hear his words and you inhale deeply only for your intake of breath to be ripped away by another body-racking sob, finally breaking down ‘in front’ of Dom. 

“I fucked it all up” your chest burns from lack of air, “This is it for me” You were sure that this was going to be the downfall of your career. A loss like this is hard to come back from, Dominik of all people could understand your struggle. “It’s not. You’re family we won’t leave you to deal with this by yourself”, he stops fidgeting and he moves towards the door, now facing the barrier. You shake your head in disbelief, it is his word for many people. 

“You don't know that. You don’t speak for them”, you exhale with your whole body: wishing and hoping for a solution after all this. It seems as if Dominik pondered what you said for a moment, thinking about how what you said is truthful. But deep inside his heart, he was positive that he wouldn’t give up on you, not on something like this… not ever. Much like you, his words shake, nervousness at his confession rising in his throat, “No, I don’t, but you got to believe me when I say I'm never leaving. You’ll never cry as long as I'm there”, he all but rushes. 

His certainty clings with every word he says, and you feel the sadness in your chest lighten just barely. “Well, I'm crying now so that’s not true”, you whisper turning to press your check against the door now, turning your body to sit more comfortably. Unknown to you Dominik cracked a smile, running an apprehensive hand through his hair, “Then let me be there with you”. 

You let the meaning of his words sink in, Dominik wanted to be by your side, to comfort, to hold, and to care for you. As if he waited all his life to have you with him, side by side, title or no title. You rise from the floor and twist the doorknob, letting the door creak open to reveal Dominik who has sat up in surprise. He hops up from the floor and wastes no time pulling you in for a hug, his strong arms holding you taut to his muscular body. The pressure was nice, grounding even. You weakly wrap your arms around him, your hands gripping at his flannel and you bury your face into his shirt. Letting a few more stray tears seep from your eyes. 

Dominik says nothing else, just simply letting you cling to his body and allowing you to feel every emotion that presents itself. Tentatively and almost unsure his lips press onto the top of your head, a firm kiss grounding you once and for all calming your tears and jolting breathes.

[edenfenixblogs]

hope you dont mind me sending an ask being a total stranger and all, i just don't wanna bother op of that post

fd does bring up the fact kendrick is a BHI/hotep briefly, specifically that that's great ammo for a beef because to most people the bhi/hoteps are considered weird and embarrassing and would be insanely easy to make fun of in a beef (at least according to most black people I've spoken with & fd himself), but also he believes that drake probably doesn't even really grasp what they are because he's distanced himself in such a specific way from the black community (and arguably jewish community as well, though i think fd only kinda alludes to it) in a really specific way- BUT, that it was an evolution, he started out in a very odd cultural position where he was ostracized for simultaneously recieving antiblackness from white & jewish communities he was a part of but also seen as "not black enough" by many black people (and it's still a bullshit take people will have)

that desire to fit in is what led him down a shitty road, but also drake already clearly had some clearly terrible behaviors already. he talks about how kendrick was being unhinged too and isnt necessarily one to talk

overall the video is more about the music history behind it and the connection between it and the current culture, and just kinda what led to this climate that could want the downfall of drake

i dont know if i agree on drake not knowing about BHIs, though i could believe he doesnt with how he really weirdly constantly codeswitches even wrt jewishness, but imho fd doesnt like to touch on areas where he really cannot speak to the experience, he's said as much in the past, so he only speaks very briefly of the black perspective of how hoteps are goofy as hell

sorry for rambling, im really into music, think fd did the video well although i dont agree with all his opinions, and just wanted to articulate it correctly that it's really more about the musical climate than anything else :)

I don’t mind this message at all!!! In fact, I’m so grateful for it!

This is all really good info. I would believe that Drake didn’t know about BHI, tbh. I didn’t know about it until a couple years ago when Ice Cube (who I grew up loving 😭😭😭) did some heinous shit awhile ago and I was like “Why did my man come for us Jews what the fuck??”

And then a mutual told me about BHI and I looked up. And found a whole new group of people who hate, dehumanize and erase us. 🙃🙃🙃🙃

I mean, theoretically, maybe Drake may have had more exposure to it as a Black and Jewish man. His mere existence makes him more of a target for people invested in that kind of ideology. But also, I do and always have very much gotten the sense that he was ostracized from much of the black community for his Jewishness and mixed race reasons—not due any specific issue in the black community, but just because people are always dicks to people who don’t neatly fit into social categories in expected ways. I can also see how being a Black rapper in white-passing Jewish circles could have been very uncomfortable if those white-passing Jews were inclined to tokenize or exclude him. So it’s possible to me that his bilateral isolation might have insulated him from BHI discourse.

Tbh I don’t think code switching is weird in almost any circumstance. It’s just a development in reaction to your environment. I have a really multiethnic and multicultural family and code switch all the time. I think if it seems weird when Drake does it, it might just be because he has not developed (and tbh should never have had to develop) a strong sense of what “version” of Drake he is supposed to be. So when he tries to read the room and meet expectations, be just does it badly. But it’s not his fault in the long run. It is fault of people who expect him to fit those expectations in the first place.

I respect the hell outta fd for staying in his lane and only speaking on what he understands. And with this context I’m glad he brings up BHI at all. Because it *is* relevant. Being Black and Jewish ANYWHERE are both identities that permeate every single element of someone’s lived experience. When dealing with a beef between people where one is Black and Jewish and the other is Black and attempts to usurp Jewishness by re-categorizing it historically and racially…the cultural friction at play is absolutely relevant.

I’m sure it isn’t the whole story or even likely to be the most important factor in their beef. But it is definitely A factor and it wouldn’t have been right to leave it undressed. Especially when the beef took off as antisemitism more broadly was on the rise due to current events.

I am glad to know that most people still see BHI as a goody ideology. There’s still wayyy too many people who believe it, though. I’ve lived with the consequences of their hatred for white-passing Jews for several months now and it is…unpleasant. But mostly it’s heartbreaking. I grew up listening to Ice Cube. I used to cite James Baldwin. I adored Alice Walker. And finding out that they hate me one by one was devastating. But the worst part has been OTHER BHI folks using their words to justify their own hatred of me and all Jews like me while simultaneously making me feel like I was harming them in some way just by existing.

I want to be clear that I do not and never have believed that most black people believe BHI bullshit. I’m only saying that it was a shock to me the sheer number of people who DO believe it and how vehemently they hold that belief and direct that vehement *emotion* directly at me. It’s really good for me to know that people who aren’t Jewish are publicly speaking out against BHI bullshit. It restores a lot of hope for me.

So ok. I’m back on the “maybe I’ll watch in a little bit when I’m less raw” train. I also love music, even though I’m certainly not up to date on it. So I’m intrigued to know more about the musical landscape of what’s going on.

Thanks again!

[giowritess]

fortnight [1]

gif by @dameronscopilot

pairing | Benny Miller x female!reader [Grace Stratford]summary | you somehow end up pretending to be Benny's girlfriend for two whole weeks. is your heart going to survive that? probably not. warnings | mentions of sex, alcohol, mentions of cheating by a third character word count | 1.7k author's note | so. happy new year! i deeply apologize for not showing my face here for the last two years lol things have been complicated and i haven't found the time to write. i've recently fell in love again with the miller brothers from triple frontier and this came up completely random, it's gonna be a small series and i'll post as soon as i write them. future smut. no mentions of y/n; grace's name is only mentioned once. english is my second language and this wasn't proofread so i apologize for any mistakes. hope you enjoy it. xx masterlist | main masterlist

fortnight

"Meaning: 14 days; fort·​night ˈfȯrt-ˌnīt : a period of 14 days : two weeks."

Pretending to be Benny Miller's girlfriend for two whole weeks wasn't how you planned to spend your days off, but here you were.

After working so hard for so long, you finally had your well-reserved month off, plus a few days more. You spent a few days with your family and now were all set to enjoy two weeks of summer bliss at a friend's super fancy summer house, along with lots of other friends and others not so much, as you soon found out.

The moment you got there, you could hear the laughter coming from the house—a mansion, one could say—even from your car. The moment Will showed up at the doorway, Maddie, your best friend and his girlfriend, jumped out of the car to run to him and you rolled your eyes. They saw each other yesterday. But then Benny showed up at the door, shirtless, laughing as Will picked Maddie off the ground, and you sighed. 

Yeah, you had it bad, and he was completely oblivious to it.

While you and Maddie made the trip there, she filled you in on a lot of things. The house belonged to Luke's parents, Luke being an Army buddy of the boys and your long time friend since high school. What a small world, right? Besides him and the three in front of you, you couldn't say you were “friends” with that many other people there. At best, “acquaintance” was the most appropriate word, but you didn't mind, you were there to enjoy the summer, the Fourth of July and Luke's birthday. But the thing is, Maddie also told you some other rather interesting things. Benny was pissed for two reasons: one, he was the only single guy there, and two, his ex-girlfriend was there with her new boyfriend. His ex that, according to Maddie, was the one who broke things up and he still had a thing for. His ex that Maddie hated because she was a typical Regina George—nevermind being almost thirty.

The idea started to form in your head the moment Maddie told you all that, but you still weren't so sure of it.

The thing was, your relationship with Benny was weird. Since Maddie was your soul sister and you were always around when you weren't deployed, he was basically a brother-in-law to you. You two had always been friends, got along just fine; there was, however, one alcohol-filled event two years ago that changed the trajectory of your relationship. 

You still remembered it as if it had happened yesterday. You'd just gotten back from deployment, happy to be home at the beginning of summer, your favorite season. Maddie and Will were in the early stage of their romance, lots of longing glances and unsaid words, so you were starting to be around Will and Benny more frequently. The thing was—you had a thing for Benny since, well, ever. You just couldn't help it, guys who knew how to make you laugh were your downfall, and it was only a bonus that he was handsome as fuck and had eyes that made your parties drop. Suffice to say, Benny Miller was your dream guy, but he never made a move on you as seemed interested in you. It wasn't that you weren't brave enough to go for it—you just couldn't bear the possibility of being rejected by him, so you accepted your fate of liking him from afar. 

That night in particular, your first night back, the four of you were at your favorite bar to celebrate your Captain promotion—after four whole years in the Air Force, you finally had a helicopter to call your own. To say you were happy was to say the least; you were estatic. Your little brother would be proud of you. All drinks that night were on Maddie and the boys; you weren't a heavy drinker, but that night you let loose and really enjoyed yourself. And shit, you could swear Benny had never looked as good as he did that day. It didn't help that you hadn't had sex in a million years and he was basically sex on legs, nor did the fact that the trash bag of your ex, who cheated and dumped you through a phone call while you were overseas, had just walked in with his brand new girlfriend, the one who he cheated with. It served only to make you want Benny even more—he was so much more man than your ex, and you'd bet an arm that he was better at sex, too. You were sure of it, even though the only place he'd been recently (every night) was in your dreams. 

You were both drunk, you more than him. Maddie and Will had abandoned you already. You weren't sure how—maybe because of your sex deprived and lust-filled mind—, but the subject turned to sex, asking each other what sort of crazy things you'd already done. The thing in question was 69, which you'd never done, and Benny surprised you when he denied it, too.

And then, maybe it was the alcohol running through your veins, fogging your brain. Or how close he was and how good his perfume smelled. Or maybe you'd just had enough, so you said, taking a sip of your beer:

“I bet you know how to properly eat a girl out.”

You saw the moment his eyes darkened, one of his eyebrows raising up. He slowly placed his beer on the table. You didn’t breathe, feeling as if you were about to die while waiting for his reply. 

“Wanna find out, Captain Stratford?”

You were bracing yourself for a rejection, for him to say he wasn’t interested in you that way, anything but that. You definitely weren’t expecting that. He didn't ask, but you'd never had sex in a car before. Or had three orgasms on the same occasion that weren't self-induced before. But yeah, he was way better than your ex, and your dreams. 

But then it got awkward between you two afterwards. Sure, it was the best sex of your entire life, and sure, you'd love for it to happen again, but you weren't really sure how to treat Benny. So you tried to act as natural as possible and so did he, almost as if pretending that nothing had happened. Except it had, and every time you looked at him, you remembered it. Everytime you looked at his hands, you remembered how well he worked you up with those long fingers. Everytime you looked at his face, you remembered his beard glistening with your juices after he made you come twice with his lips alone. Whenever you saw him holding something, you remembered how good it felt to have those fingers wrapped around your throat while his cook hit every right spot, again and again. Safe to say, you were having a hard time focusing whenever he was around, and it made you wonder if the remembered it, too, when he looked at you, because sometimes you could swear he looked like he did. And sometimes... sometimes he looked at you the same way he did that very same might when he asked you that question. But then it faded as quickly as it came. So you tried to treat him like you used to, but for the past two years it seemed to have an elephant in the room with you, and you just didn't know what to do about it.

Truly, you'd already accepted that nothing would ever happen between you two again. But the moment Maddie told you all that, the gears in your brain started working. It was risky—what if he didn't like it? And honestly, why? It wasn't as if you really wanted him to get back with his ex... yeah, there was no rational motive you could come up with. At least no motives that weren't selfish. But then, still sitting at the driver’s seat in your car, you glimpsed your ex, wrapped around his current girlfriend—a new one, who looked suspiciously like you—by the pool, and that gave you the courage to go ahead with your plan. So that was how you found yourself in your current predicament. Exactly when Benny was awkwardly talking with his ex, still by the door, you called out his name and went to him, the surprise evident in his face. And then you kissed him.

This was the defining moment. You were scared of his reaction—and then he kissed you back, way more fiercely than you expected, his tongue slipping into your mouth, until the girl in front of you cleared her throat.

“And you are?” She asked, and the tone of her voice made you want to strangle her.

Instead, you took the jealousy and anger cursing through you and transformed into confidence, and you gave her your best smile.

“I'm Grace,” you replied, and you felt Benny's eyes on you. “Benny’s girlfriend.”

You didn't know what surprised you more: the giant scowl in her face, or one of his hands going around your body. 

“I'm sorry, what is it again? Pam, Tam?” You asked before she said a thing.

You knew damn well what her name was.

“Sam,” she replied through gritted teeth.

“Oh, that's right. Lovely to meet you.” You turned to him, dismissing her entirely. “Help with the bags?”

He nodded and gave her an apologetic look, before grabbing your hand (another surprise) and following you to your car. The moment you opened the trunk, he let go of your hand and you already missed the contact.

“What's going on?” He asked, confusion clouding his beautiful features.

You glanced around to make sure you were alone and tugged him closer.

“Look,” you whispered, “both our exes are here, and according to Maddie, you still like her. This way, you make her jealous, maybe win her back, and I rub it in his face that I landed someone way better than him.” His lips tugged up in the slightest shadow of a smirk. “What do you say?”

You didn't realize you were holding your breath until he replied.

“Huh. That's really smart,” he said, surprising you once again.

You expected him to say something more, but then he grabbed the bags and walked back towards the house.

And that was how you found yourself pretending to be Benny Miller's girlfriend for two weeks.

Would your heart survive those two weeks? Probably not.

by @reveriesources

➜ part two

[trashlie]

ILY FP 258

I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.

Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.

I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!

That's enough rambling, let's jump in.

There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.

But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.

A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.

This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.

I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.

There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.

As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.

Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.

And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.

How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).

He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.

He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.

And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;

For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.

I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...

Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who  has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.

But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.

I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.

I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.

And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.

Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.

[ilguna]

☼ peach lemonade pt1 (Finnick Odair) ☼

summary; you thought that Finnick was giving you signs that he likes you, especially when he asked if you wanted to get lunch. it's all ruined when he shows up with his girlfriend.

warnings; swearing

wc; 2.7k

part two

–

When you had originally opened your bakery, there was a mix of reactions from the people around you. Your parents were supportive, especially since they were the ones that supplied the money and oversaw your plans on how you’d keep it running if they couldn’t support you anymore. They pushed you into baking when they realized you had a talent, and they promised you that they’d be behind you every step of the way.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t their opinions that mattered the most to you. You’d known that they wanted you to go this way since you were young. And even if you decided that baking wasn’t for you, they’d help you go the new direction, too. It’s their unconditional love that makes it hard for their thoughts to matter.

It was your friends that nearly ruined it for you. Almost all of them told you that it would end up being a waste. They fully believed that you should’ve invested your time and wealth into a job that might’ve been more promising, because apparently they could see failure in your future. 

It was disappointing to hear negativity come from the people that you trusted the most, considering it was hard enough to put yourself out there. It made you mad for the longest time. You stopped inviting them to your family’s functions, which then turned into no longer speaking to them altogether. The last thing you needed was to keep them around.

You knew why they felt that way: their judgment stemmed from the fact that their parents were district workers, and your family hasn’t worked in generations due to inheritance. The most your parents do now is invest in new businesses and make a small profit off of what the business makes.

It’s really no secret that your family isn’t well-liked by some of the community, despite having several members work for the district. They’re so focused on the fact that some live off the wealth and forget that not everyone born into your family wants to live that way. It can be boring, filling your free time with learning how to play the piano, instead of learning life skills. 

You have a lot of respect for those who do work for the district. They’re the whole reason why District Four doesn’t collapse from the inside out. If it weren’t for them, a lot of independent businesses—including your own—would cease to function. Not to mention, there’d be more rules, peacekeepers wandering around, and a curfew.

Well, your friends were wrong. The bakery had enough exposure to the point where it’s been popular since the day it opened. A lot of people preyed on your downfall, but you’d never give them the satisfaction. You aimed to be affordable but still perfectly rich so that low income families could still come and purchase products. 

For a lot of these families, it was their first time being able to have bread that wasn’t made from the grain and oil that the district produced in exchange for names in the bowl. Good bread is especially hard to come by for them, considering out of the four bakeries the district had before you opened—none of them allowed opportunity for the poor.

The most important part about the bakery to you is that it keeps your hands busy and bellies full. 

And it’s definitely not the fact that it brought Finnick Odair back to you. 

You went to the same schools as Finnick growing up, and he got reaped in your guys’ freshman year. You vaguely remember talking to him on a few occasions, but you weren’t actively friends, no matter how much you wished you were. You’ll have to admit that you had a massive crush on him, and you thought you got over it as you got older and stopped being around him.

A couple months ago he came into the bakery for the first time. You were fully prepared for him to not recognize you, it’d been years since the last conversation you had with him. He greeted you by name, though, with this giant smile on his face. Once again, you knew that you were a goner.

Finnick comes in pretty regularly now to sit and talk to you when either of you have the time. He’s busy mentoring and preparing kids for the Hunger Games, and you’re making baked goods from morning to night. It’s never about anything important, just what’s going on in your lives.

You’ll gossip about the latest drama that he’s not in on, but still totally invested in it. And he’ll tell you what it’s like in the Capitol. The types of foods he eats, the clothes they wear, the products they sell. He makes it sound like some fairytale. Recently, he’s convinced himself that your family belongs in the Capitol and it’s a wonder why you didn’t get moved over during the rebellion. 

He’s purely thinking about it from wealth-wise, but he neglects to think about the fact that your grandparents denied the offer. They had the chance, and they told the Capitol that they’d rather stay here, where they were born so that they could continue to raise generations in the place they worked so hard to make home.

There’s been a few times where the two of you have gotten so caught up in what you were talking about, and time had flown by. He’s always got something interesting to say, and it’s never a dull moment with him.

He’s actually been coming around a lot more lately to talk to you. He’ll wait around for the store to close and he’ll help you clean, and then walk you back to your neighborhood before going in the other direction. And with how many questions he’s been asking lately, you have a feeling it’s not friendly anymore.

Well, you’re hoping it’s not friendly. 

You never thought that you’d like him like this all over again, but it’s impossible when he’s around you all the time. Besides the people you work with, and the other people that regularly come to the bakery, he’s the only one that makes an effort to talk to you outside of work.

You thought that you were going to burst yesterday when he asked if you’d come to lunch today. You try to limit yourself when it comes to taking time away from the bakery, but you couldn’t say no to him.

You push through the clothes in your closet, trying to find something that would be nice to wear. As you step deeper in, you realize that there’s too many options. There’s dresses, shirts, pants, shirts, tank tops. And this doesn’t even consider all the shoes and jewelry you’ve managed to accumulate through gifts.

You pull out a nice lilac dress that would go with the weather today, and could go with most of your silver jewelry. To humor yourself, you pull out what would go with it. The dress, white socks, white tennis shoes. You dig and dig through your jewelry box to find the perfect set.

By the time you’re done, you realize that you basically have your mind set on wearing it. So, you go through the time of pulling on the outfit one piece at a time, waiting to do your makeup to make sure that you look good enough in the mirror. There’s been too many times where you’ve done your makeup around an outfit and changed your mind when you were done. It’s hard to work on a limited color palette.

You let out a breath when you see yourself in the mirror, picturing how you’d do your eyeshadow and eyeliner to follow the color scheme. It’d be beautiful, and you’re sure that Finnick would comment on it…

There’s a gross feeling in your stomach telling you not to go with this. Finnick didn’t say that it was a date, so there’s no point to dress like it is one. What if he takes you the wrong way, like you’re trying to be pushy? The last thing you want is to make him feel weird. He’s already told you that he’s way too popular in the Capitol for his liking. You don’t want to be just another girl.

You press your lips together, and slowly undo the work you’ve done. You set the jewelry aside, hoping that you’ll find a purple shirt and white pants somewhere. You’ve got practically every color of the rainbow, there’s no reason for you not to have it.

Back in the closet, you pick through the hangers, and then the drawers. You’re about to give up when you find a regular shirt that’s the same color as the dress. There’s no white pants, so you settle on light blue, and reassemble your jewelry carefully to make sure it’s not overbearing. The only thing you add on when you’re done is a silver circle belt. It’s not practical, but it definitely adds to your look.

It’s much more simple, and you don’t look as dressed up. With that, you wander off to the bathroom to sit at the counter and do your makeup and hair for the next hour. It’s partially interrupted by your mom coming to check up on you periodically and ask you questions about the bakery. 

She tries not to go inside and impede as much as possible, and limits her questions for when you come home. She trusts you, and she knows that if you did actually end up needing help with the bakery, you’d ask for it before it was too late. 

When you’re done getting ready, you grab your bag on the way out the door, saying goodbye to your mom. She told you that she was going to call the mayor about some stuff. She blows you a kiss goodbye, you catch it and slide out of the door, closing it carefully.

The walk from your house to the cafe is short. It’s springtime again, which means that it’s getting warmer but it’s not hot enough to make you feel like you’re dying. Around this time every year, you manage to fool yourself into thinking that it’s your favorite season, then the heat hits and you’re miserable.

As soon as you open the door, you know that Finnick isn’t here yet. There’s only two other people, and they’re sitting in a corner talking to each other. The man behind the counter smiles at you, and you smile back.

“Hey, what can I get for you?” He leans on the counter, pen and paper prepared in his hand.

“My friend’s going to be here in a minute, so I’ll take a peach lemonade for now, please.” You smile.

"We make peach lemonade from syrup, is that going to be okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Sounds good, go ahead and pick out a spot, I'll bring it to you." He backs off.

“Thank you.”

You turn, and wander over to the table you normally sit at with your parents. This is one of the only cafe’s on this side of town, which means that it’s typically used as a nighttime restaurant as well. The issue is that they don’t really serve hot foods unless it’s the winter, so it doesn’t feel like it should be used as a nice restaurant.

You sit, and pull out some paper to write on in the meantime. The man from the counter drops off the lemonade a minute later. You figured that you’d show up sooner than Finnick would. Victor’s Village is so far away, and still he chose this place to come to. It is a nice place, he could’ve chosen to have a picnic or something instead. Although, you don’t really take Finnick as a chef. You wouldn’t mind cooking, it’s not like you don’t do it all the time anyway.

Well, baked goods are completely different from actual foods. If you were to have a picnic with him, you’d have to choose cold foods, or food that wouldn’t go back in the time it took you to walk from your house to the picnic spot. You know that whatever you make could never compare to what he’s had in the Capitol. He’s told you that his mouth waters just thinking about some of their dishes.

Fruits and vegetables that even your family would struggle to get, are ready at their fingertips in the Capitol. Oranges, peaches, raspberries, strawberries—all delicacies that are gotten on special occasions. It would have to be a first birthday, a funeral or a wedding in order for those fruits to be served. And they’d have to be made into a fancy dish, since they’re fancy fruits.

Sometimes Finnick makes you jealous without meaning to. You don’t envy how he got reaped to be in the Hunger Games, because you’re grateful you managed to avoid it. But you think that you’d give anything to eat a dish made from the Capitol. Anything.

The door chimes, you finish what you’re writing before tearing your eyes from the paper to see who it is. You’re met with familiar curled bronze hair and a white smile. Finnick’s got his body turned to hold open the door for a young woman with long brown hair.

You fold the papers and place them back into your bag, getting to your feet to greet Finnick. When you look at him again, you see that he’s got his arm wrapped around the girl's waist. You can feel your eye twitch on its own free will. You blink to prevent it from happening again.

“Hey… Finnick.” You force a smile, eyebrows drawn together as you look them over.

“(Y/n), sorry we’re so late, we had an errand to run on the way.” He pulls out a chair for the girl, “Annie, this is my friend (Y/n), from the bakery. And (Y/n), this is my girlfriend Annie.”

Your face almost falls completely at his words, but you manage to catch it. You hold out your hand to shake hers. She gives you a shy smile, taking your hand and gripping lightly, “Nice to meet you. Finnick’s told me so much about you.”

“All good things I hope.” You smile a little more, trying to be convincing.

However, when you look at Finnick, you can feel it fading again. There’s no way that this is happening right now—that this is happening to you. You didn’t think that he had a girlfriend, he’s never mentioned her in conversation before. After eight months of coming in and staying late to talk to you and walk you home, he’s never mentioned Annie.

It must’ve been on purpose, because you wouldn’t have neglected to mention something so important. You thought that the two of you were, at the very least, friends. He hasn’t brought her around—you don’t even think you’ve seen her on the street. You would’ve noticed otherwise, you’re sure of it. 

You look over Annie again, and realize that she looks strikingly familiar.

“I see you’ve got something.” Finnick motions to your lemonade, you have to turn your head to look at him, “Did you close the check?”

“No, it’s an open check, feel free to get whatever you like. Lunch is on me.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” Annie smiles, “I’m hungry, aren’t you too, Finnick?”

“Yeah. We’ll be right back, (Y/n).”

“Sure.” You nod.

As soon as they turn their backs to you, you’re blinking away the tears that’re building in your eyes. You won’t cry over Finnick. You haven’t before, and you’re not going to start now. It’s not worth it. You two are just friends.

You rub the corner of your eye with your fingers, feeling the tears leak out. You grit your teeth, forcing yourself to take deep breaths. You think you recognize Annie now—she only shows up once a year, and it’s at the reaping. She’s the one that won a couple of years ago.

Finnick’s dating Annie Cresta, and how he neglected to let you in on that is beyond you.

You stand up from the table, heading toward the bathroom in the back. It’s single-stall only, so you know neither of them will be able to follow you. On the way, you pause long enough to let them know that you’ll be right back, that you have something in your eye.

The moment that the door swings shut behind you, the tears you’ve been battling win the fight.

[jaxlol5]

copy pasting my review of the helluva boss music video here just because

for further context when i wrote the review on discord i had no idea that this was a COVER of an already existing song made by PARANOiD DJ back in 2021. just so i don't look stupid imma be tweaking a bit of my review that's just saying 'why would viv write THIS' because at most she just slightly changed it a bit, or that's what i'm assuming anyway.

i'm also gonna add a bit more to my review here such as the lyric changes and the overall emotional weight of the song. i'm not really gonna review it animation or song-wise, because the animation is fucking specTACULAR, and the song aspect doesn't matter much to me. i think the original 2021 version is pretty good at least.

this song [i'm guessing at least] comes after S2 E6 'OOPS', which was a half-sequel to S2 E1 'The Circus', meaning that Stolas finally has the Asmodean crystal that he plans to give to Blitzo, either to cut ties from him completely or to see if he'll keep talking to Stolas after he has a new way to get to earth that doesn't involve his grimoire.

(side note idk why viv keeps tryna push 'Stolitz' so much when Blitzo has actively said he doesn't like Stolas romantically and only sees him for the book. but she's gone on to change that multiple times so we went from Blitzo being forced to sleep with Stolas and hating it, to him actually having some kind of feelings, back to hating him, and now back to feelings, over and over. i know Blitzos whole character is that he can't accept affection properly but it's different when this 'affection' is just consensual r4pe via power imbalance and then has to be turned around so that neither Stolas or Blitzo are the bad guys when they clearly are.)

because of the song being made in around 2021, before season 2's downfall, the lyrics had to be changed to fit. which is completely fine to do, mind you, but the issue is what what lyrics in specific were changed. in the original 2021 version, Stolas mentions Octavia and how she must feel about everything happening in her life, but in the new version, it's cut out entirely. Why?? i know the main focus is supposed to be his relationship, but this entire situation is affecting his family as well, and especially Octavia. it makes no sense to completely neglect his own DAUGHTER for someone that he repeatedly fetishizes and treats as lower- but also someone that he idolizes and sees as his true love. i could go on and on about how the changes of their dynamic piss me off but that's a bit of a tangent.

speaking of which why is there 2 songs for stolas doing the same fucking thing. in S2E1 he's singing about blitzo while thinking about leaving him. now in THIS video he's.. singing about blitzo while thinking about leaving him, the only difference is that in the former song he didn't have the crystal, and now he does.

the song in general feels so forced especially with how the Stolitz arc has been progressing, which is barely. they last talked in S2E4 'WESTERN ENERGY' and the very little character it added was all shoved into a 3 second scene of Stolas scrolling thru text of them talking about the events after 'OZZIES'. and then we exclusively see Blitzos side of the aftermath, but not Stolas. he seems perfectly fine compared to Blitzo, or maybe he's not; why not fucking show that! and no the video doesn't count because it's talking about the events that take place after 'OOPS' not 'OZZIES'. pretty sure that former episode canonically takes place months before the latter.

i saw an amazing thread that breaks this video down if you compare it to pearl's song 'It's Over, Isn't It'. it just doesn't work the same way because of the insane power dynamic and the fact that Stolas wanted to keep Blitzo for so long, manipulating him for that want as well. at least he's finally going to let go NOW [i assume], but it feels long overdue, especially with how much these 2 have been forced to deal with.

[wejustvibing]

As much as it hurts not seeing him with them anymore because he truly loved that team and there was even talks about him being a future ambassador for them forever even when he retires but i can’t help but feel the treatment he got ever since 2021 didn’t help at all it was one of the most heartbreaking moments in his life and they didn’t take his side like they should… and they brought us toto’s lap dog and he’s taking credits for everything and ignoring lewis in everything never gonna forget lewis’s obvious heartbreak in singapore this year or even worse the qatar one where they literally humiliated him by shoving a camera to his face and apologizing to woody and not giving a damn about his feelings..💔

It hurts because this is so not the way it was supposed to end between them at all for sure a lot of Mercedes employees adore lewis and are just shocked and broken over this news

And Ferrari is just i don’t know what to say if they’re not gonna be in a winning path it’s just a waste of time for him and more stress them being racist is no surprise this whole sport is tbh and they’re all disgusting i know lewis can handle it well he’s been doing it since he was a kid but i just need to see him back to his winning thriving ways and for him to finally being happy that’s it i most definitely wanted to be at the place he called home for more than a decade but it is what is and him being happy and relieved is what really matters to me.

P.S, can’t wait for toto to realize how big of a fuck up did he do when he treated lewis like this the past years and i wont be even sad if mercedes is gonna be witnessing a downfall after he leaves🙂

"It hurts because this is so not the way it was supposed to end between them at all for sure"

that part is the realest when i think about it from his point of view. he's had to make this decision, he's had to put himself first under whatever circumstances, the reality of which we might never get to know. this is not some "natural end" like toto has said. but anyway i'm glad he's separated himself enough to understand the reality over wasting time chasing something that's probably only imaginary. once he did that, it must have been a simple pros and cons decision because what really is the difference between merc and ferrari rn for him to stick around with one and getting mistreated vs starting afresh where he feels wanted with the other? none to me. besides, most brains behind the glory days have already left (some are even at ferrari) must have taken a lot freeing himself from the shackles of "we're family" and "this is my home" mentality and i'm so proud of him for doing that. he could have waited out the rest of his years in his comfort zone blaming how things are not improving. instead at 40yo he's betting on himself all over again and taking risk and charge of his own fate. you just have to respect it for what it is

[hostess-of-horror]

I'm having so many ideas and not enough energy to do or finish any of them AAAAAAAAAAAA-

Just so that I don't just wallow in my inability to get off my ass and do this shit, I'm going to type it all down!

1. The Haunted Mansion movie (done right!)

- This one is actually based on a slew of Discord convos between me and AJ (@sneklover). It was mostly just me ranting about how God awful Disney's live action remakes are getting and what I would've done if I were to make the iconic attraction a film or t.v. show.

- I have seen the original live action Haunted Mansion movie with Eddie Murphy but not the newest one, BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS! Both are literally the same thing where the story focuses more on the Foolish Mortals than the Happy Haunts and I do not like that.

- If I were to film a Haunted Mansion movie/show, I would make it an anthology horror movie. Think Tales From The Crypt or Creepshow but with Master Gracey telling the stories behind iconic characters such as the Hatbox Ghost, Constance Hatchaway, the two Dueling Ghosts in the ballroom, etc. At some point towards the end, Master Gracey would then tell his story, of how he inherited the mansion, was cursed as the Ghost Host by the mansion itself, and how he tried in vain to lift the curse.

- I remember telling my mom about my idea and, while she loved it, did say that Disney would not like it because they want to put out a more broad demographic. "They're not catering to us," she said (paraphrased). Which makes sense, I just jokingly mentioned to AJ how Disney wouldn't hire me for stuff like this lmao.

- My Haunted Mansion would be a love letter to the Gothic Horror genre and dark humor. An old Louisiana mansion that's haunted in more ways than one, its owner an unwilling slave on the brink of insanity, and all the tales of death kept within its walls. And these tales are nothing short of harrowing, as well as hilarious!

2. Vincent Price x Self-Insert Fanart

- I love this old man so fucking much I wanna kiss him I wanna dance with him I wanna cuddle with him I wanna slowly drive him into insanity so that I can see him smile lovingly at me I wanna be the harbinger of his downfall and his eternal bride aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- 🖤🖤🖤😩🙌🥴🥴🥴

- So yeah, pretty much what it says on the tin. I was inspired by the very talented @theboarsbride for the idea and Corman's The Masque of the Red Death, starring the Handsome Devil of Horror himself Vincent Price, and wanted to make an AU.

- Masque AU where Francesca (the main character) does give in to the dark side, but of her own volition, transforming into the Red Death. The Red Death is both a Reaper and a Resurrection - a purveyor of plagues and a damsel turned demon. A Bride in Blood...

- It's basically a sort of rewrite of the original ending and now it's sorta... 🌶️spoicy🌶️ so, um.... yea. smexy monster lady x human stuffs.

- ANYWAYS...!

3. Walt Disney's The Great Mouse OC

- I've been wanting to do something with the GMD fandom for a long while now, and I think a hypothetical OC from an hypothetical sequel fanfic would be a good introduction!

- So, in a nutshell: She's a mad scientist spider who is the new secondary villain of said sequel. She has no name as of yet, but she is mute (either from an injury or is simply nonverbal), extremely passionate about her grotesque experiments, and very, very lonely. Unlike Ratigan, the Greatest Criminal Mind, she is more somewhat spontaneous, preferring the tasks of stitching her family together over anything tactic. In other words, she's the brawns while Ratigan is the brains (and brawns). Her goal in villainy is to build and destroy - to build her long lost family and to destroy all of micedom.

- While she is the one who caused the whole case, the main focus on the story is mainly the ✨tension✨ between Basil and Ratigan. In other words, opening up old wounds... by resurrecting the dead!

- Yup, Sherlock Holmes: Furry Edition is now becoming a Gothic horror story. Heavily inspired by Little Nightmares II, Jack the Ripper, and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, the sequel is a tale of murder and madness, with a bloodcurdling case and a rivalry that won't stay dead.

- In this fanfic, I interpreted that Ratigan did die in GMD and so that he could be resurrected by my OC in the sequel! I also wanted to have Fidget resurrected but AJ doesn't like to think of her lil guy dead, so... Yeah, Ratigan is the Frankenstein's Monster and Phantom of the Opera of the plot. (POTO because I thought of the sequel's climax being set during an opera)

- Meanwhile, Basil and Dawson are having a Very Bad Time, with Basil constantly being haunted by the professor and Dawson mentally reliving his days at the regiment.

- Disney will never hire me.