#and it doesn't undo the hurt they did the wounded parties

[mermaidsirennikita]

What gets me that a lot of the time questionable/bad behaviour from the female or male lead is ignored but even the idea or something that's percived as cheating is meet with kill bill sirens.

lol YEAH.

This is a controversial take, but.... I don't know. I think cheating is a very bad, sometimes horrific thing to do.

I don't think it is universally felt in the same way by all couples, and I find it really weird that the internet has kind of come to uphold it is as like... on the same level as assault, domestic violence in general. I also find it really weird that everyone seems to have taken this very simplistic "once a cheater, always a cheater" take to the extreeeeme.

I've never been cheated on, and I've never cheated on anyone. I have several close loved ones who've been cheated on. I supported someone through a cheating situation that really, really rocked her, with diminished confidence, panic attacks etc following (she's also... fine now and views the whole situation in a different light, which is another thing that can happen)--so I'm not diminishing how bad this can be. I also have been friends with someone who did do it, and moved past it and has a happy marriage now. I do not imagine that I could get past it... but who knows, I've also never been there.

However, I think this idea that every cheating scenario is this WELL-THOUGHT-OUT insidious affair that was designed to harm the other person and manipulate and abuse them is... flawed. Because let us be completely real. A lot of people cheat. A lot of people cheat once, and their partners literally never find out and they stay married and pretty happy for the rest of their lives, and nobody finds out. I know that's like, scary to consider, but it does happen.

So while I don't think it’s okay, I do think it's kind of ridiculous that we act like something as common as infidelity is always the same. Sometimes people are just really stupid, dude. Sometimes, people are really stupid and their partners get over it and it never happens again. Sometimes, people spin a web of life-altering lies with secret families that mentally destroy their partners upon discovery. Sometimes, a one-time stupid thing does destroy a relationship (and rightfully so).

I think that this really black and white perspective on cheating as like this UNIVERSALLY CATASTROPHIC EVENT is part of what makes people so averse to it in fiction. And like? Tbh? While it is REALLY difficult to pull off in a romance novel, I do think it's like... weird that something as complex and again, common in real life is like, anathema in romance. People can (and do) have their happily ever afters in their real life love stories after their partners cheat, or frankly after their partners cheat on their previous partners with them. It's not savory... But it's also not always a straightforward "this party is good, this party is bad" situation.

I will always say that the one thing I think romance NEEDS is the HEA and the prominence of the love story. Those are genre conventions. Otherwise... I don't know that there are hard and fast rules. It's kind of like the "can you write a romance in which one party has a terminal illness that is not resolved at the end" question. I don't know, dude. It's hard to pull off, but are we going to say that people don't have HEAs in these complex situations?

[thedragonagelesbian]

16, 21, 22 for any KC you want :)

yeee thank you!!!!

Mechanics & Story Asks

gonna answer for both kyr (aeon -> gold dragon leyline guardian witch + winter witch) & cyrus (angel -> legend, martyr paladin -> spelleater bloodrager + skald + thug) because. i can. and i love them.

16. How well do they play mechanically with their romance, if any? If not, which party member do they synchronize best with?

Kyr: The entire inception of Kyr's character came from the unique possibilities of a healerXdhampir ship afiopwjef I love that Sosiel has to stock an entire extra line of spells to keep Kyr alive, I love that Sosiel comes with selective channel feat so he doesn't hurt Kyr when he channels energy, I love touch of good/bit of luck for boosting spell attack rolls, I love fortune + cackle for Kyr supporting his off-tank bf... love it all!!

Cyrus: End-game Cyrus is almost scarily self-sufficient, but the early/mid game 'step into my healing aura you stupid fuck' energy with Daeran is IMPECCABLE. Love a reckless self-sacrificing tank and an annoyed selfish healer learning to care about others by taking care of him. One of my favorite mechanic-driven story moments I've had yet was the final Act 3 boss battle, when basically all Cyrus did was stand there and get utterly pummeled by Darrazand while Daeran frantically tried to keep him up, this immense and bloody sacrifice made on behalf of the crusade... and Galfrey turns around and strips Cyrus of his command. Delicious.

21. If the Knight-Commander could get a unique item, what would it be and what would it do?

I don't know if these are items that they would have, so much as they are items inspired by the characters.

Kyr: Frozen Will. This gelid amulet grants its wearer immunity to mind-affecting spells and conditions. Additionally, whenever the wearer casts a spell with the cold descriptor, there is a 10% chance that the spell (or spell slot used to cast it) will not be spent.

Cyrus: The Skald's Saber of Self-Reliance. This +5 good longsword grants its wielder the ability to cast dispel magic, greater on themself as a move action, targeting harmful effects. The ability can be used three times per day.

22. What is the Commander’s opinion of their mythic patrons/advisors - the Hand of the Inheritor, Aivu or the Desnan Adepts, Zacharias, the Aeon in the mirror, Hal, Yozz and Noticula, etc.?

Kyr: The aeon in the mirror is... unnerving. Absolute, unassailable, all-consuming. Every time Kyr stands before the mirror, he feels certain. Like this is everything that he is, has always been, but when he steps away again, he feels less sure. Especially discovering that he isn't allowed to use the aeon's temporal powers to undo his own immense suffering at the hands of his sire, he grows more disillusioned with it, its promises, and the sacrifices it demands in return.

His current feelings on Hal are also ambivalent. He wants to believe in the possibility of redemption, but hearing how Hal allowed Terendelev to hurt him, he can't help but think him a fool. Kyr is still trying to wrap his mind around the 'unconditional' part of the whole 'unconditional love, acceptance, and forgiveness' thing.

And he's utterly uninterested in and unaffected by "Melies". Which is a shame because now I have to make a whole new aeon to be tempted by corruption & fuck that archdevil. Smh.

Cyrus: Cyrus' initial admiration of the Hand of the Inheritor quickly escalated into something more in the Abyss. Defending his worth to Galfrey, providing refuge of the Nexus, always watching over him and checking in to make sure the demonic corruption wasn't getting to him... the Hand helped Cyrus feel safe, or at least as safe as he could be, in the Midnight Isles.

...So when Nocticula revealed that Areelu had planted the wound that gave Cyrus his mythic powers, and the Hand took it poorly, Cyrus was devastated. The reveal hit him hard too, given his myriad body & autonomy issues and his deep-seated fear of being a weapon wielded by someone else, and this person he cared about seeing him like that hurt even more.

So they fought about it. And then they had a very heavy makeout/holy handjob sess about it.

Cyrus was heartbroken when Baphomet took the Hand, all the more so when Iomedae told him that the Hand was praying to him constantly for salvation from his torture in the Ineluctable Prison. And he was horrified by what that torture had wrought, turning the Hand into an empty vessel for Baphomet's cruel will. Of course Cyrus saved his heart and returned it to him, and in my heart, the Hand returned to Drezen afterward to begin his recovery. With lots of gay fallen angel sex. That's a very important part of the recovery.

[avnkin]

undrunk - jj.m

Warnings: angst, underage drinking, mentions of sex, kinda toxic relationship & mentions of substances.

Word Count: 2.5k

This fic is based of the song Undrunk by Fletcher

gif is by the talented @toesure <3333

Wish I could get a little un-drunk so I could un-call you

At five in the morning, I would un-fuck you.

JJ Maybank was your ex, the two of you had broken up almost a month ago but still always managed to find each other when you were intoxicated, ending up wrapped in each other’s arms at late hours of the night. One of you always being gone the next morning.

He’d broken up with you because he felt he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, but it was borderline impossible for the two of you to cut off all communication.

When you were together a part of you always knew this wasn’t how it was supposed to be, but you loved him so you started finding excuses for all of the things he did and the stuff he put you through.

At one point you had even started asking yourself, what did I do that made him leave? It wasn’t right but you couldn’t help it, the manipulative thoughts clouded your mind like a drug.

To go from being so involved with him on such an intimate level, to then, becoming a complete stranger and having no part of his life was a pain you couldn’t even begin to describe.

The first time it had happened was after almost three weeks of being apart. You weren’t doing any better from the day he’d ended it, your tear-stained cheeks stuck on the screen before you, when suddenly what you thought was a ray of sunshine lighting up the darkness that had consumed you appeared.

He’d knocked on your window like he’d done so many times before but this time it was different. He didn’t tell you how much he loved you as he hungrily kissed you and tore your clothes off.

He barely even looked at you as he spent the night with you, making sure the two of you were on the same page when he finished, stating that he didn’t want to be in a relationship again but wanted to continue sleeping together and you had agreed even though every part of your body was telling you not to.

You loved him and thought that being with him in some way was better than not being with him at all.

But you knew it was only so long until one of you was bound to break this endless cycle of running back to each other.

Honestly, this party's over

Everyone here shoulda gone home

But I’m afraid of being sober

As you stumbled home after yet another party, you felt tears well up in the corner of your eyes, having nothing left to distract you, no substance, alcohol, or fling to silence your thoughts about the boy who had held your heart and crushed it.

It was the feeling after you’ve hosted a pregame or a party and everybody’s gone and the only thing that’s left are the wounded soldiers. Just you and your drunken thoughts, swirling around in your head. 

You’d endured this feeling so many times after the breakup and you tried so hard to cover it up with anything you possibly could, but it was like a virus, that just keeps on coming back.

So once again you found yourself standing in front of his window lightly tapping your nail onto it waiting for him to appear and let you in.

When the curtains lifted you felt sane again, seeing his face as he smiled down at you before pushing the window open allowing you to climb in.

His lips were on yours within seconds as he hurriedly went to remove all items of clothing that covered your body, desperate for your touch.

You didn’t fully realize it then but every time he kissed you and touched you it would take out a tiny piece of your heart, knowing that this was all it would ever be.

The morning after you’d woken up in a haze, his ring clad fingers resting on your stomach as he lay peacefully beside you, his blonde hair sprawled all over the pillow beneath him.

‘Fuck’ you thought once memories from the previous night started flooding back into your mind. You carefully lifted his arm off of you and started searching for your clothes, which had been thrown all over the place the previous night.He’d woken up when you’d accidentally tripped over your shoe as you tried to get it on. 

“Shit” you mumbled when he started propping himself up onto his elbows, furrowing his eyebrows at you.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice raspy as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 

“Leaving?” 

It was more of a question than an answer but he just shrugged his shoulders turning his back towards you as he continued his slumber. You sighed as you twisted the doorknob, taking one last glance at him before shutting the door and walking out to your car.

So I squeeze out the lime on the ice of my drink

And the juice hits the cuts on my fingers

It still doesn't burn as much as the thought of you

Sarah was throwing a little get together and you had been fine through most of the night, feeling that maybe, just maybe, you were finally starting to get over him. Finally not feeling the need to look at your phone every few minutes to see if he had texted you or go on to his Instagram to see if he had posted a picture of him and another girl.

You’d been helping Sarah gather shot glasses for everyone when you’d accidentally dropped one, cutting your finger as you attempted to pick up the broken pieces of glass sprawled all over the kitchen floor.

Sarah had told you not to worry about it simply grabbing a vacuum and quickly cleaning it up before ushering you into her living room where you all sat in a circle beginning to play truth or drink. 

You stared down at your newly cut finger, watching as the blood trickled down it and into your palm, it hurt like a bitch, but you didn’t pay it any mind, pouring salt onto your backhand smiling up at Sarah as she passed you a shot glass filled to the brim with tequila.

“Alright Y/N, your turn” Topper stared devilishly at you before looking over at Rafe who gave him a wink, furrowing your eyebrows at the silent exchange.

“How many people have you had sex with?” he raised an eyebrow taking a swig off his beer as Rafe gave him a thumbs up causing you to only roll your eyes in response.

“Ew Top seriously?” Sarah huffed crossing her arms over her chest, “you don’t have to answer that” she directed at you, hitting Topper in the back of the head making you giggle.

“Wasn’t going to” you chuckled, licking the salt off your hand and downing the devil's drink, scrunching your face as the liquid burned your throat.

You quickly reached out for one of the lime wedges with the hand you’d cut earlier and as your finger touched it you winced the juice going into your fresh wound the cheers of your friends fading out as you suddenly began to think that not even this burned as much as thinking about him does.

I wish I could un-kiss the room full of strangers

So I could un-spite you, un-lose my temper

But some things you can't undo

And one of them's you.

After a relationship ends everybody goes through a different healing process, for you it was definitely seeking attention from somebody else, needing to feel wanted again, because it momentarily ‘convinced’ you that you were fine.

But you soon realized that no matter what you did or who you kissed no one could compare to JJ, the sad realization hitting you as a boy you didn’t know the name of let his hands wander all over your body.

His touch didn’t send shivers up your spine as JJ’s did and his lips on yours didn’t make you feel butterflies in your stomach.

You just felt empty as he whispered endless compliments in your ear, cutting him off by reconnecting your lips with his, hoping that it would fill the void inside of you.

You wished nothing more than to go back to all the times you’d slept with JJ after you’d broken up and taken it back, wishing you’d never have let him waltz back into your life after he single-handedly destroyed it.

I'm afraid to turn the lights on

I don't wanna face this rebound

Is it weird if I come over?

I want to, but I know that she's around

You couldn’t stop thinking about all the other girls he’d probably slept with by now, doing whatever with whoever.

It was that sick feeling that just kept on coming back, sticking with you from the time you woke up and to the night when your head hit the pillow, “what did he do last night?”

“It doesn’t matter, I shouldn’t care” those were the two things you were mostly battling with, caring but pretending that you didn’t.

One time you’d been hanging out with Kie, she’d invited you to come and eat dinner with her at The Wreck, stating that you’d spent little to no time together since you and JJ had ended things.

You, of course, agreed, driving over to the restaurant, practically running into Kie’s arms as she engulfed you in a tight hug.

The pair of you quickly sat down enjoying a plate of hamburgers and fries as you caught up with each other.

You couldn’t help but notice every time you mentioned JJ she’d tense up, panic settling on her face, always dodging the questions or changing the subject.

“Kie what’s going on?” you finally asked tired of her strange behaviour.

“What do you mean?” she tried to write you off but you wouldn’t let her, pestering her until she finally broke. “Okay fine look I really didn’t want to be the one to tell you this but- uhm... JJ’s been seeing someone.” You froze dropping the food you’d been holding as you stared wide eyed at her, “Wait... I don’t know if there’s actually anything to it- I mean you know him, he’s probably just sleeping with her until he finds someone else, you know?” she tried to comfort you before realising how insensitive that sounded, “Oh shit! No, wait that came out wrong!”

“Kie it’s okay, I don’t care,” you lied, pasting on a fake smile as you grabbed a french fry from her plate and placed it into your mouth.

“A-are you sure?” she hesitantly asked furrowing her eyebrows, not quite believing your words. You only nodded in response and she quickly dropped the subject, thankfully, you knew if you’d had talked about it any longer you would have started crying.

So when you finally arrived home you let your tears fall free, now convinced nothing could fill that void inside you except JJ.

Been through every emotion

Right now, I'm sad and broken

Like the bottles on the floor, but I'm too buzzed to clean 'em up

Self love was something you had always struggled with and sometime after the breakup you’d finally realized that it was impossible to love somebody else if you didn’t love yourself.

You didn’t love yourself when you were with JJ so you depended on him to make you feel the love you couldn’t provide for yourself and it was only after you got out of it that you gained that perspective, aside from going out and partying, you really had to take the time to do a self dive and ask yourself. Am I good? The answer definitely being no.

You slowly but surely started doing the things that you loved again, surrounding yourself with the people that made you feel like the best you.

It was a roller coaster of emotions. One day you’d be totally fine, reassuring yourself that you could do this but the next you’d be curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor of your shower or crying in a stall at a restaurant or a bar.

And it was at your lowest points that you’d run back to JJ or let him come to you, spending the night with him only made you feel better temporarily but in the long run you knew it was what was hurting you the most.

Wish I could get a little un-drunk

So I could un-love you

“I can’t do this anymore J” you frowned as you got out of his bed, untangling yourself from his tight embrace, he looked at you confused eyebrows contorted.

“What exactly do you mean?” he asked propping himself up onto his elbows as he stared intently at you, tears beginning to well up in the corner of your eyes as you finally realized that you had to end this, you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself.

“I mean this, JJ,” you said, gesturing between the two of you, “Whatever it is, I can’t do it anymore!” You shook your head, hurriedly gathering your things wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

“Wait Y/N,” he pleaded, getting out the bed, grabbing your wrists, turning you to face him. “Why?” he finally asked, his voice just below a whisper.

“Because, I love you too much and it hurts to see you leave, it hurts to see you with somebody else and I can’t keep trying to convince myself that one day we can go back to the way things were, because I know that’s not what you want.”

This was without a doubt one of the hardest things you’d ever had to do, but you knew this had to be done or you’d just end up hurting yourself even more.

So you left him standing alone in his room, not giving him a chance to talk as you stormed out of his house and into your car, sobs racking through your body as you let your head rest on your steering wheel.

You took a deep breath before placing your keys in the ignition, beginning the long drive from The Cut and into Figure 8.

It was raining pretty heavily and as the calming sound of the rain droplets hitting the top of your car you began to realize your relationship with JJ made you who you were, it taught you a lesson and you learned from it, growed from it, even though it was really hard to see it when you were in the thick of it.

But once you gained some perspective, you began to see things a lot more clearly, realizing that JJ was a really important part of your journey.

You wouldn’t go back in time and undo the relationship, because it had taught you so much about yourself that you didn’t know that you needed to so you finally drove back home, leaving JJ behind, even though it physically hurt you to do so.

This was for the best.

Thank you @angellissy & @harrysbbby for helping me with my grammar!!!! I love y’all💓💓

[laguera25]

My favorite part of romance stories is when the star-crossed couple meets after a long separation, whether it be a bad breakup or unfortunate circumstances or a duty that required sacrifice that would deeply hurt the other person, and the one who did the hurtful thing wants to fall to their knees and beg forgiveness, but the wounded party is a spooked horse, and so they don't quite dare. Instead, they gingerly approach and have to keep themselves from falling apart because oh, my God, there's this person they've never stopped loving, and they would give everything to undo the hurt they've caused but they can't. But they can't not try to tell them, try to apologize, so there's this awkward, halting fumbling conversation that doesn't seem to be getting anywhere. Until they finally just go for broke and kiss the person, mumbling apologies and endearments against their lips, and their whole heart is just thinking, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you.