#and it sucks because. i equally qant it to be over because its just. soul crushing and exhausging and im so sad all the time and it just won
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#don’t think ive ever been this heaetbeoken ever LMFAODHDJDJ#and it sucks because. i equally qant it to be over because its just. soul crushing and exhausging and im so sad all the time and it just won#wont go away and im so. so tired i hate being so. hopeless and vampiric and blank i hate what i am and have been and am becoming#and also cause i feel like if i cant. manage this or make the best of it or like. i feel like i am gping to lose eveeything HDJDHDH#ill lose the opportunity to stay friends. and ill also become too much of an energyvampire to keep my friwndsaround. and i wont be able to#make new ones. and i wont be motivated enough to do well for familys sake. like i canfeel myself#steppinginto every trap my beain sets for itself and theway ive been has been. like im just#so so so so disappointed in myself. im so disappointedin myself foe the way im handling all of this. im so disappointed#but at thesame time i know whyand i knlw its becahse everyrhing feels like its coveredin melting metaland everythign stings and burns n hurt#but i’m just. like i feel. i’m just disappointed by myself so severely HDDJDH i feel like a monster#and ive been trying so hard but all it does is get worse. its been weeks and all it does is vet worseand worse and i dontknow if i can do it#neg#mano.mindtalk#like i wannado good i wanna do so mich goodbit i jist cant get myselftp a spot where im capablepf it#and im so svaredand so convinced i neverwill like im just not. o dont have itin me. i cant#i jusydon t know what to do
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