#and it’s fair that he does! john says some backhanded things often without meaning to!
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hi all i’m here to say i think john marston is often unintentionally selfish and when it’s pointed out to him that he was manipulative towards his partners he makes this face and means it
#i think john is more a good person than a bad one in the sense of valuing human life and believing in common decency#and i think when he thinks of himself as a bad man it is in reference to the lying and killing he’s done#and likely also his hesitance to commit to abigail and jack#but he probably does not think that he was being cruel at all to abigail by putting his life in danger#or at least doesn’t realize how cruel it truly was. and with javier in the mix there’s an added element#of javier knowing he’s hurting abigail by being with john and abigail knowing the same of him#and i think on some level it’s something john doesn’t even consider#not because he’s dumb because he’s not - i love calling john dumb but it’s very much an affectionate joke#but because he’s shown to be lacking in the emotional intelligence arthur has - particularly in his interactions with jack#john says things earnestly to jack that are meant well and then jack immediately takes them as an insult#and it’s fair that he does! john says some backhanded things often without meaning to!#john himself doesn’t fully understand or allow himself to feel his emotions#and so i think it makes sense too that john wouldn’t understand the ramifications of sleeping with both javier and abigail#and how that might fuck with them - especially considering how highly javier valued the gang as his family#to john it was just messing around and when it got beyond that he shut down completely#whereas abigail and javier probably just fell further in#but since john refused to allow himself to see it as anything beyond a hook up (even if he coveted javier and abigail like a jealous lover)#javier and abigail were the ones who were hurt and left with a brick wall of a man to talk to#anyway all this to say: john is the most emotionally oblivious character i've ever encountered#john marston#my meta
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