#and jere wasn’t answering her attempts

[loveinsomesacredplace]

centering the guy in a m/f ship when ideally, equal adoration and care should be lavished on both characters is weird right? It’s not just me?

[eunoia-writes]

Tis The Damn Season • Conrad fisher

Warnings: smut implied, Cheating.

Summery: y/n and conrad have kept up there secret love affair for a while now but when Jeremiah figures it out everything changes

“We need to stop doing this Conrad.” Y/n said as his fingers danced along the exposed skin of her thigh

“you know as well as I do that we both can’t stop this.” He said brining his hand to her cheek caressing it softly

“it’s not fair we’re gonna end up hurting other people.” She whispered looking yo are him

“do you wanna stop?”

“no.” She whispered leaning her forehead against his

“I know it’s wrong and we should stop but I don’t want to,” He said before kissing her softly “I wish this week didn’t have to end.” He was about to lean on when there was a knock at the door

“shit!” Y/n said jumping up grabbing her cloths and rushing into the bathroom while Conrad scrambled to get his on before opening the door

“Oh hey Charlie.” He said loud enough so she could hear it but not loud enough to cause suspicion

“Hey dude, have you seen y/n anywhere she disappeared like an hour ago and she’s not answering her phone.” Charlie said while Conrad leaned again the door frame shaking his head

“nope but she put something in the group chat about going on a walk, you sure she’s not with Jere or Shayla?” Conrad attempted to play it off as if she wasn’t currently hid in his bathroom

“no…I was with them a second ago I’m sure she’ll be back soon but thanks anyway.” Charlie said before leaving Conrad let out a sigh of relief before making his way into the bathroom to find y/n fixing her makeup in the mirror masking any sign of him on her

“You need a better cover story.” Conrad said y/n sighed and he wrapped his arms around her waist kissing her shoulder softly

“I’m not used to having to make a cover story he’s never normally with us.” She said grabbing the hairbrush

“would be better if he wasn’t.” Conrad mumbled

“it’s his best friends wedding, Connie.” She said as he took the brush from her hand

“you know what I mean, you’d be saying the same If Ella was here.” He said brushing her hair gently just like he used to do when they were kids and she got upset in attempts to soothe her

“do you not feel guilty?” She asked he bit his lip looking at her though the mirror

“I do I really do but I just… well you know.” He said she nodded before turning to him

“i just wish things weren’t this complicated.” She said Conrad hummed agreeing with her before leaning in kissing her softly but she pulled away “I should go.” She said he sighed before before he kissed her again

“I’ll meet you guys downstairs.” He told her y/n left his hotel room and made her way downstairs taking a deep breath before waking into cafe area where the others were.

“Hey guys!” Y/n said sitting in the seat next to Charlie as both Jeremiah and Steven watched her sudden nervous deminor

“Hey babe where’ve you been I’ve been trying to call you.” Charlie said kissing her temple not picking up on the way she cringed at the pet name. shes never been too fond of them and something about the word babe just made her feel sick.

“I went for a walk, I had my phone off.” She said as Jeremiah eyed her from the other side of the table not buying her story

“so what’s the plan for today?” Steven asked changing the subject as y/n felt her phone pinge

Jere: we need to talk

Y/n looked up at him confused but he kept a straight face listening to whatever Charlie was saying “I’m gonna go get a drink dose anyone want anything?” Y/n asked feeling a pit in her stomach

“I’ll come with you.” Jeremiah said as she stood up from her seat. Y/n just nodded before making her way over to the counter

“hi what can I get for you?” The woman asked flashing her a smile snapping y/n out of her thoughts.

“I’ll have a black coffee and umm Jere?” Y/n asked looking up at him as she felt his presence next to her.

“I’ll have the same.” He said the woman nodded before rushing over to go make the drinks

“So y/n, How long have you been sleeping with Conrad?” He asked as if it was nothing y/n felt her heart drop to her stomach

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh come on don’t play dumb,” George said clearly not in the mood for her shit “I think I have the right to know I did set you up with Charlie.”

Y/n scoffed “You don’t have the right to know shit Jere, who I sleep with and who I don’t is none of your fucking business!” She snapped slightly which only solidified it for him

“How long?” He asked but she didn’t reply

“A month?” No reply

“6 months?” No reply

“a year?” Nothing

“two years?” Still no reply

“Three years?” Y/n sighed softly as his eyes widened “What the fuck y/n 3 years, you were 18 the first time it happened.” He said he was more shocked than anything

“I don’t what you’re talking about Jeremiah” she said continuing to play dumb but he just continued

“Why? Why would you do that to Charlie, To Ella?” He asked he didn’t know how to feel on the one hand he wanted to run and tell Charlie exactly what was going on but when it sunk in just how long it was going on for, way before she’d even met Charlie he knew there was something deeper behind it

“I’m not talking to you about something that’s not even real Jeremiah .” She continued as the woman walked back over hanging them there drinks as y/n payed thanking her

“I’m not gonna tell Charlie but you need to figure what ever this shit out is before someone gets hurt.”

It was the night of the wedding and y/n was sat on a table with the boys while Charlie was at the head table getting ready to make his speech and y/n couldn’t help but have a nervous feeling

“Good evening Lady’s and Gentlemen… I know what you’re thinking... Charlie it should be you getting married not him… and believe me I thought the same.” He started as everyone chucked

“don’t worry you’ll all be back here soon ain’t that right y/n… and might I say you’re looking gorgeous tonight… but anyway back to the happy couple.” Y/n smiled nervously at all the eyes on her only to feel a familiar hand on her knee settling her nerves.

It wasn’t until a while later when the song When you’re ready by Shawn Mendes was playing which just so happened to be y/n and Conrad song that the pair finally exchanged words

“hey Charlie… mind if I steal y/n for a second.” She heard Conrad’s voice while her head was resting on Charlies shoulder doing anything not to look In his eyes

“Sure thing bro.” Charlie said before letting go of y/n only for his hands to be replaced with Conrad’s

“hey.” He whispered softly

“hi.” Y/n said her arms wrapping around his neck as his feel in place on her waist

“you know he definitely meant what he said.” Conrad said softly as they swayed slightly

“What do you mean?”

“that this is gonna be you two soon.” He told her y/n sighed

“Con- would you say yes? If he asked you I mean?” He said cutting her off She just shrugged

“I don’t know.”

“what do you mean you don’t know?” He asked confused she shook her head

“don’t do this not here.”

“How could you say yes?” She just gave him a look telling him to knock it off “Fine I’ll drop it for now.”

After they got home from the wedding y/n noticed just how much Jeremiah would watch her every move from they second they got home Everytime she walked into Conrad’s room her be catching up behind her making sure nothing went on even if she was just bringing him food or water.

The pair spent there only free time parked of the side of the road next to the beach with y/n sitting on his lap slowly moving up and down on him. One of her hands on his shoulder the other on the drivers side window. The two of them panting and groaning as his hands move from her waist and up to her face, pulling her close of a very passionate and heated kiss and after they have both finished she draws a smily face on the window in the condition. But those moments of bliss shared between them all started to fade from them.

“Jeremiah knows.” She said softly the house was empty other than the two of them with Steven and Belly back home visiting there family while Jeremiah was out food shopping it was the another time y/n and Corned had a free minute

“yeah I figured.” Conrad said as she rested her head on his chest

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” She said as tears rolled down her cheeks

“I’m sorry.” Conrad said as they heard the door open

“I’m home!” They heard but neither moved while y/n laid crying into Conrad chest while he just held her letting her cry it out

“hey.” Jeremiah said as he walked into the room which only served to piss her off as she got up storming out of the room Jeremiah following behind her “Y/n.” He said since they’re conversation a few weeks ago she’d hardly spoke to him if they were in a room alone she’d get up and leave or put her headphones on. He never meant for it to happen she’s one of his best friends but he was at a loss of what too do he couldn’t just stand by and let her hurt his friend but then again he didn’t want to lose her or Conrad for that matter

“Would you quit it!” She snapped beyond frustrated

“Quit what?”

“Watching me all the time I get it you don’t trust me but Jesus Christ Jeremiah.” She said Conrad was watching from the sidelines of the room incase anything went down and he had to step in

“Y/n.”

“No! I feel guilty enough about this already I don’t need you making me feel like shit anymore then I already do!” She had tears rolling down her cheeks again as soon as she went to walk away he pulled her into his chest letting her sob Conrad sighed walking back into his room he knew it was his fault and he hated himself for it not only was he cheating on a girl that would do anything for him, he was hurting his best friend more than he could every imagine not only was he ruining her relationship but he was putting a wedge in hers and Jeremiah’s friendship and it made him feel like shit.

Y/n and Jeremiah were sat in her room her head resting on his chest as he ran her hand through his hair

“what you thinking bout?” He asked her y/n sighed

“he doesn’t know me the way Con knows me.” She told him he looked down at her

“what do you mean?” Jefe asked confused y/n shook her head

“it’s stupid I guess but it’s like Charlie doesn’t know the simple things about me he thinks my favourite colour is Blue when we all know it’s green, he calls me Babe and god do I hate the word Babe, he thinks my favourite flowers are roses when they’re actually Calla lilies, he thinks my favourite song is adore you by harry styles but it’s Sleep tight by Holly Humberstone. it’s like the simple stuff that he should know he doesn’t…and“ she started

“And Conrad does.” Jeremiah finished as there was a knock at her door

“yeah.”

Conrad walked in mumbling a soft hey before y/n patted the spot next to her and jere for him to come and sit “con?” Jeremiah said softly Conrad hummed in response intertwining his hand with y/n’s “what’s y/n’s favourite colour?” He asked

“Green but it’s more Sacramento green than anything else, why?” He said without hesitate

“What’s her favourite flower?”

“Calla lilies.”

“Favourite song?”

“Sleep right by Holly humberstone.”

“What’s about Ella’s?”

“I think it’s where do broken hearts go by one direction or maybe night changes it one of the two.” Conrad said y/n knew what Jeremiah was doing but. Conrad hasn’t quite caught on

“why are you even with Ella?” He asked Conrad shrugged looking down at y/n

“it’s complicated.”

“has this really been happening for three years?” Jere asked watching the way Conrad’s face softened

“four in a month and three days.” Conrad told him as if it was nothing. Jeremiah couldn’t comprehend why they didn’t just end things with who there with and be together because as it seems they’d be happier.

“You two need to figure your shit out.”

“yeah don’t we know.” Y/n mumbled as he left her and Conrad alone for the first time in forever.

Charlie had invited everyone over for what he described as a small family and friends get together but little did they all know he had an alterer motive for the whole thing until it actually happened.

There she stood in front of all his friends and family while he was on one knee in front of her rambling about his love for her. She was sure whatever he was saying would be enough to convince any girl that he was the one but she was to busy searching for the only soul who would tell which smiles Shes faking but instead she found an empty spot next to Steven, Belly and Jeremy. reality had finally settled in

“so y/n will you do me the honour of being my wife?” Charlie asked y/n had tears in her eyes. To anyone else they were tears of joy and she seemed to be immensely happy but to her two best friends across from them they knew that was far from the truth She had to decide.

She had to chose.

Conrad or Charlie.

“I…I can’t… I’m sorry.” She said in almost as whisper before she rushed out leaving Charlie there he was about to go after her when Steven and Jeremiah stopped him knowing exactly what was about to go down and he didn’t need to see it.

Y/n found Conrad sat on her curb outside the house head in his hands “Conrad.” She said the sadness evident in her voice

“Jeremiah’s right. we shouldn’t do this anymore, you’re engaged now it’s not fair.” He said refusing to look at her as she stood behind her

“I’m not engaged.” She told him looking at her feet as he stood up Turing to her

“You’re not?” He said confused she nodded her heart was racing and she had a million thought rushing through her head all of them starting and ended with him.

“You said no?” He asked a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth

“I said no.”

“Why?” He asked almost as if he was shocked she said no, shocked she chose him. Of course she was going to chose him. It had always been Conrad and always will be.

“You know why.” She whispered tears welling in her eyes once again as het hands trembled. She knew that somewhere right now charlie had a horrified look on his face but all she cared about right now was the bit infront of her

“You really want this?” He asked she nodded

“Yes.” It felt ironic to her. Saying yes.

“But Conrad, I need you to say it. I need you to say it so I know it’s real and I didn’t make a mistake.” She begged her took a step closer to her

“y/n,” his hand came to rest on her cheek while the other was on her waist “I love you.” Conrad kissed her like it was the last time when in reality it was the beginning of forever

“and you’re not just saying that.” She mumbled into the kiss neither of them pulling apart

“no I’m not just saying that I love you y/n I really do.” He told her making her smile into the kiss both of them too concentrated on one and other to even notice there friends a few feet away from them

“wait so am I the only one that didn’t know about this?” Belly asked snapping them back into reality before they all piled into the car.

Jeremiah let out a soft chuckle “I mean to be fair i only found out like three months ago and it’s been going on for like what is it now?”

“Three years, eleven months and twenty-seven days.” Conrad said something y/n squeezed his hand slightly as she rested her head on his shoulder

“jeez way too keep us in the loop!” Steven said completely unphased.

Jeremiah had been quite the whole ride home not really sure what to think of everything still “jere can I talk to you?” Y/n said as they pulled up the house he just nodded as everyone got out of the car

“Are you mad at me?”

“no, I just… Charlie is one of my best friends ya know and I hate that this has happened to him but you and are also my best friends and conrad is my brother. and I know you’ll be happier with him than if you said yes so I just...” he explained y/n nodded

“I’m sorry that you’re kinda in the middle of this.” But Jeremiah shook his head

“you don’t have to apologise for your happiness making things awkward for me.” Y/n smiled slightly

“so we’re okay?”

“of course we’re okay.” He said before getting out the car and opening the back door for her “come ‘ere.” He mumbled holding his arms out

“wow Jere you must really love me giving me hugs all the time.” Y/n said letting him pull her into a hug

“Shut up” he mumbled.

They both made there way inside before y/n headed into Conrad room to find him sat on the end of his bed with his phone in hand “I’ve asked Ella to come over.” Conrad told y/n who just nodded standing a few inches away from him

“do you… umm do you want me…?” She started but he shook his head almost instantly

“no…you look tired it’s been a long day.” He said as she wrapped her arms around herself

“will you at least tell her I’m sorry, for hurting her that is?” She whispered Conrad sighed before he nodded standing up before kissing her forehead “I love you.” He said before slipping out of the room.

And in that moment she knew that although everything they’d done happened in a way it shouldn’t have or that they’d hurt others in the process.

It was all worth it to her no matter how horrible it may sound.

It was worth it

———

Tag list -

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[thatgirlwholikestowritestories]

The Summer I Fucked Up (Ch 4)

A Conrad predominant retelling of The Summer I Turned Pretty TV show and book series.

Did you read the books and want to understand what was going on in that little noggin of his? Read my fic to find out that this man has zero thoughts

Chapter list

CONRAD

Despite the summer he’d been having, Conrad couldn’t help but look forward to the Fourth of July. It was his mother’s favourite holidays, and she really did go all out for it. She radiated this kind of energy that was so vibrant that Conrad could almost forget that she was sick, that she was dying.

The whole house was vibrating with that kind of raw, nervous, excitable energy that Conrad couldn’t help but get caught up in it as well.

Walking through the kitchen, Jere was sipping up the leftovers of Belly’s cereal milk.

“Yo, I'm gonna go wash the clams. Did you get the lighter fluid?” Only slowing enough for Jere to reply.

“Mm.” Wiping off the milk from his upper lip, he answered, “Yeah, it's already on the beach.”

Conrad whistled in acknowledgement and walked out the door to go get the clams.

When he came in, buckets of clams at his side, he caught the tail-end of his mum’s comment to Jere.

“Oh, speaking of dads, yours called. He's closing a deal, so he can't come.”

“What?” Conrad could hear the shock and disappointment in his voice, but Conrad couldn’t help but feel a warm, comforting sensation start in his chest.

“Did you say Dad's not coming?” He asked, trying to sound blasé, dumping the clams in the sink.

“Mm-hmm.” Susannah continued to eat the little snacks she’d had put out for the day.

Jere wasn’t done. “But I got some serious fireworks for the show this year.”

“We'll take a video.”

“It's not the same.” Jere just shook his head.

“I know.” Susannah conceded.

Despite his brother’s disappointment, Conrad felt a renewed sense of excitement. Conrad leaned against the kitchen counter. His dad coming home was the one thing he’d been dreading about today, the one gloomy cloud that was threatening an otherwise beautiful day.

Conrad’s face must have given away his delight, as Jeremiah tilted his chin in Conrad’s direction. “What're you smiling over there for?”

That only made him smile some more. “No reason.”

Conrad felt better than he had in a while.

Following the noise coming from the guest room, Conrad found Belly making up the bed for her dad and his girlfriend. Or more like attempting to make the bed. Conrad leaned against the wall.

She didn’t even notice him at first in her frustration with the bedsheets. Conrad was able to take a moment, to lean against the wall and just watch. Watch her. He felt that warm sensation in his chest from early expand further across his chest.

In that moment, Conrad felt light. He felt happy. It felt like it had always felt before everything had changed, before everything went to shit. He knew Belly was a part of that. Watching her in her frustration of something so simple brought Conrad just a little bit of peace. There she was- his girl. Well, Belly was all of theirs. Laurel’s and Steven’s and his mum’s and Jeremiah’s. But his as well.

Conrad felt another genuine smile spread across his face. In good conscience, he couldn’t let this monstrosity go on any further without says something. You got to fold the bottom sheet at a 45 degree angle if you want tight corners.”

Belly looked up at him, a little smile on her lips as she started to follow his advice. Immediately, he said “Yeah, not like that.”

She laughed, throwing up her hands, “Then help me.”

He walked over, grabbing the sheet. “You got to pull this down.”

“Okay.”

“Like this. Come here.” He got on his knees to show her. Happy his hands were doing meaningful work as she was kneeled slightly across from him, watching as he showed her.

He looked up at her. “See?”

“Thank you.” Her smile faded and her face turned thoughtful. “Don't you think it's weird that my dad is staying here with Victoria?”

He couldn’t resist the opportunity. “Well, I'm sure they're not gonna have loud sеx.”

That thoughtful look evaporated from her face, replaced with disgust, like she might gag. “That's foul. Ugh. And why is my mom letting him bring his bitchy girlfriend anyway?”

“Hey. How do you know she's bitchy? What if she's, like... a really nice person or something?”

They both laughed, but she countered anyways “Uh, what if... uh, and-and, like, just hear me out... she's a bitch.”

Her smile was so cute, he couldn’t take it anymore, he threw a pillow at her face. Which only resulted in a fit of cute giggles from her end.

“Stop. It's gonna to be fine, okay?” He added, “Don't worry about it.”

The honk from a car downstairs announced someone’s arrival.

“I'm sorry your dad's not coming.” She added, as she made final adjustments to the bed.

“Don't be. I'm not.” And he wasn’t.

Laurels voice rang out then, calling Belly’s name. Belly’s face was neutral, if not nervous.

Conrad looked back at her and whispered, “The bitch is here.”

All the kids watched on from the windows near the entrance as Belly’s and Steven’s dad rocked up with his new girlfriend.

Belly peered over the door anxiously, on the tips of her toes. Him and Jeremiah looked out the side windows, and Steven looked on from behind, at a distance.

“She's hot.” Conrad would expect Jeremiah to say something like that.

You could almost hear the eyeroll in Steven’s voice. “Dude.”

Jere shrugged like he’d done nothing wrong. “What? I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking.”

Belly’s voice was barely louder than a mumble. “I wasn't thinking that.”

“Yo, that could be their future stepmom.” Conrad’s voice was thoughtful but also comical. The idea seemed so obscene.

A hard hand pushed him from behind. Steven. “Dude, what the hell?”

“Don't push me.” Conrad turned to return the favour. He and Steven getting into a mild slap fight like they had so often done when they were kids.

“Guys, they're coming, they're coming. Ah!” Jere came pushing and ushering him out of the way.

“Go, go, go, go, go.” Steven encouraged as he and Bells tried to make themselves presentable.

Nicole and the other debs arrived around the back. He and Jere greeted them.

He was quick to get Nicole in the pool. They were floating close, in each other’s orbits.

“I can't stop smelling you.” It was true. Nicole smelled good—different to the way Belly smelled. Nicole had this more crafted scent, for lack of a better descriptor. You could definitely tell that it was perfume in that way, like it was an extension of Nicole, an accessory. Belly on the other hand, had always smelled of ivory soap, coconuts, and sugar, but in the kind of way that it was a part of her.

Nicole laughed in response. “Okay, well, it's Le Labo.”

“Mmm. Well, I "le lab" it.” The giddiness of the day was getting to him. He knew it was a cheesy thing to say and sad, moody Conrad from every other day of this summer would have probably puked. But today, he couldn’t help it.

“You "le lab" it?”

They both laughed then. It could be so easy with Nicole.

A little while later, he walked in on Jere and Belly in the kitchen, clearly up to something. It was not surprising. The two of them together was chaos combined.

“What are you guys making?” He noted the red mix in the blender, various ingredients covering the counter.

“Pomegranate margaritas, but with a twist.” Belly replied, showing the extra Kool-aid she had in her hands. It was just like Belly to make something sweet, even sweeter.

But Conrad was on board. Smiling, moving passed her, Conrad reached into the cupboard, grabbing the machine that was on a high shelf. A shelf that they used to not be able to reach. How times had changed. “Well, you got to use the good blender.”

Jere jokingly flinched at the sight of the machine. “Oh, I-I haven't used that thing since the great Kool-Aid debacle of 2011.” ( laughs )

“I remember, the counters were sticky for... two summers?” Conrad

“Yeah. Just about. Dad kept his, uh, briefcase in my room for a year. "As a reminder that all mistakes are not reversible.””

“Wait, won't he be mad if he finds out?”

“Well, he's not gonna find out. He's not coming.” Conrad finished plugging in the blender and smiled conspiratorially at Belly.

“Okay. Yeah. Yeah.” She said, finally giving in.

Jere passed Conrad ingredients from where he sat across the counter. “Thank you, sir.”

“Oh, she's going for the good stuff.” Jere commented as Belly reached for the tequila.

Belly only went to put in a dash of tequila, but Conrad held the other end and they played tug of war for control. “Stop it, stop. No, stop.” She was laughing though.

Jere egged him on, “A lot more, a lot more tequila.”

Finally, Conrad decided that half the bottle was enough and put it down, starting to blend it all together.  

“Man, you know what I miss? Huh? Watching Laurel put Dad in his place. You know, she'd walk in, she'd be like, "Adam."”

As if he’d summoned him, Laurel called out “Adam. You came. Happy Fourth.”

And his father was there.

“Dad!” Jere was up and out of his seat, already embracing his father. “You came.”

“Hey. Hey, guys.” His dad greeted everyone in the room, but Conrad didn’t look his way. “Hey, Connie. I'll have a little of what you're mixing up there.”

Conrad wasn’t listening anymore. He knew the others were talking but Conrad just felt a whooshing in his ears. He felt that storm cloud quickly reapproaching, sapping the sunlight of his previously perfect day. What happened to being too busy at the bank? Conrad just couldn’t tolerate the slimy feeling that he now felt for his father where only pride and admiration had existed for him prior. A slick, inky feeling that settled around his stomach and made left a bad taste in his mouth.

“Hey, Connie, can I talk to you for a minute?” That was his dad, catching his attention.

He wouldn’t spend a single minute more with his dad than he absolutely had to. “I'm gonna head to the beach.”

He walked all the way down to where the girls had set up the seats and settled down next to Nicole, she touched his hand and he tried to ignore the unsettling feeling that his father had caused.

When Belly came down with glasses after glasses of “The Belly Special” and suggested a drinking game, Conrad was all too willing to partake.

Everyone was having a good time—him and Belly the most it seemed. At one point, he and Jere separated from the group to throw a football around. But his dad even tried to ruin that. So, when he intercepted Conrad’s catch, he quickly made an excuse to get away.

Jere found him on the beach, digging the clam pit. By the way he was walking up to Conrad, he knew that Jeremiah was mad at him.

“Hey. Can you be nice to Dad for one day?” He stopped in front of him. “Seriously, he's trying.”

Conrad couldn’t care less if he was trying. “Good for him.”

That response earned him a pile of dirt thrown at his chest which stuck to the sweat that had accumulated while he’d been digging.

“Whatever you have with Dad, squash it, all right?” He looked at Conrad seriously, and Conrad remembered how he’d always tried to what was right by Jere. So, he was on the verge of giving in when Jere said, “Please.”

Jeremiah disappeared and he sighed. He could try. At least for Jere. At least for his mum. At least for today.

He pondered this while he finished digging the pit and he pondered it while he walked back up to the house to clean himself up.

Out of nowhere, he heard, “Hello, sea creature!”

He turned to see Belly laughing and waving at him. He gave her a quick wave but continued to the shower.

He’d not long turned on the outdoor shower and got it to a good temperature before he heard footsteps coming his way.

“Oooh, sea creature. Where are you?”

“Uh, I'm in the shower.”

She appeared in front of him then, smiling, and drunk with a margarita in each hand. “Everybody left. But we still got margaritas to drink.”

“Okay, well, I can't drink it in the shower. Can you just put it down and I'll get it after? Can I shower?”

“I've always liked you with wet hair. It's so... romantic.”

“What's so romantic about wet hair?”

She stared at him and then just sighed loudly, shaking her head like he’d fundamentally missed the point, “You just don't get it.”

Conrad watched her take a sip from her drink, biting back a smile, he asked, “How many of those have you had?

“Two, five. It's...  It's not important. Let me just ask you one thing, okay? Did you buy me that infinity necklace for my birthday?”

Conrad couldn’t speak. He didn’t even know how she knew about it. It was in a draw in his room. So, he just stared at her instead, his mouth gaping just a little bit.

Her smile took up her whole face. “I knew it. I knew I was right.”

He suddenly felt so vulnerable standing there, with his wet hair and his gi- Belly looking at him.

“Can I please... Can you give me some privacy, please?” His voice went a little funny when he responded, and he had to turn away from her.

“I knew it. I knew it!” She giggled and then she was gone, margaritas in hand.

Not long after that, Belly had tripped and fell on his mother while she was carrying the cake. So, Conrad and the other boys were enlisted for clean-up duty.

Steven and Jere were doing a terrible job, so he sent them off to go do the fireworks instead.

Then his dad was out and trying to light a cigarette and Conrad couldn’t help but think on the early conversation with Jeremiah. He could try. He could try for them.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Oh. Hey. Did you get everything cleaned up?”

“Yeah, and Belly's upstairs with her dad.” He was worried about Belly. He hadn’t had a chance to go check up on her yet, since he was down here cleaning.

“Why'd you let her get so drunk? You're lucky she and your mom didn't get hurt.”

“I didn't know she was drinking that much.” Seemed like it wasn’t two and maybe was more like five, like she’d said at the shower.

“You're the oldest. You're supposed to look out for the younger kids.”

Conrad shook his head. “I don't know why, but I thought I could talk to you.

“Hey, hold... Connie, hold on. I'm sorry, man. I got a lot going on right now.”

“Just leave, Dad.” Everything would be alright again if he left. At least for today.

Conrad was staring off into the distance on the pier, thinking about the day’s events.  Thinking about Nicole, his mum, his dad, and Belly of course. He was barely paying attention as the fireworks burst in the sky in front of him.

Like always, she seemed to appear out of his imagination. Like when he thought about her long enough, she’d appear. Maybe he was reading too much into it— they do live in the same house after all, maybe it’s more of a statistical probability.

“So... does everyone hate me now?” Her voice was quiet. Conrad knew it was because she was afraid of the answer to her own question. All the confidence of alcohol now gone, Belly seemed shy, regretful.

He looked at her. “Who could ever hate you?”

She let out a little laugh. “So, I think my mom just got railed.”

Whatever he had been expecting her to say next, that was not it. “What?! By who?”

“I don't know.” She laughed again.

“Wow. Go, Laurel.” Laurel deserved some action after the divorce.

Belly laughed and there was a moment of quiet between them. Conrad felt itchy under his skin. Belly knew about the necklace and he felt like he had to say something, he just didn’t know what he wanted to say but he knew he needed to say something. “Belly, about the necklace...”

“Um, I'm sorry I brought it up.” She was quit to interrupt him, to start to dismiss it but Conrad found himself wanting to talk about it, to have this moment with her.

“No, no. I, um... I did get it for you.” They were looking into each other’s eyes. Conrad couldn’t keep doing it for long, but even when he looked away, he was quick to look back.

“Then why didn't you give it to me?”

“I don't know.” He looked away from her then. “I got embarrassed, I guess.”

“Why?”

“Belly, you don't know the effect you have on people.”

And that was the rub of it. Conrad had to admit to himself what it all meant. The necklace. The tabs he kept on her. The jealousy. Conrad didn’t want to feel this way about Belly—Belly—of all people, but he did. She had an effect on him. If he was being honest, she always had. He'd felt the same way when he taught her to dance, or when he saved her at the beach. He just hadn't understood what it all meant. He hadn't understood what it meant until Belly hopped out of the car this summer. He could no longer dismiss her as this little kid, because she wasn't anymore. This realisation couldn't come at a worst time either, with his mood swings and holding it in about his mum.

But right this moment, he didn't care about anything else. It was just him and Belly, looking at each other.

“Effect on people? I don't... I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Yeah…You do.”

And then it was like Conrad was stuck in her orbit, pulled in by her gravity. He was staring into her dark brown eyes, and she was staring back, and the air just felt charged. Nothing could compare, not even the fireworks lighting up the sky.

He was leaning in then. He wanted to kiss her. She wanted to kiss him. They both knew it. Inch by inch, achingly slow, they moved towards each other.

Conrad could only think of her lips, so close he could feel her breath and it made him shudder. He wanted this, more than he’d realised he wanted anything else.

But just as they were a hair away from kissing, a firework streamed right passed them, causing them to spring a part.

Neither of them said anything. He could feel her looking at him, waiting, but now he was unsure of himself. When she turned away, he looked back at her.

Say something. Do something. Kiss her. Run. Conrad’s thoughts were going a mile a minute.

But neither of them said anything.

Next Chapter

[penniesforthestorm]

“I’m officially requisitioning this chicken”: ‘Justified’ Season 1, Episodes 6-9

As we move into the second half of Justified’s first season, things are heating up all over Kentucky. We get more insight into the operations of the Crowder clan, plus some even larger adversaries who’ll come into play further down the line. These notes cover Episodes 6 through 9, the next batch will be 10-12, with the finale getting its own entry. Notes on the pilot are here and Episodes 2-5 can be found here. Drop me a line any time-- if I could be sitting next to you in a dive bar, I would be. (Not much for Jim Beam, though, or, if I’m being honest, bourbon in general, owing to some unfortunate shenanigans in my early 20s. Mine’s a Jameson and ginger ale, with a squeeze of lime.)

Episode Six: “The Collection”

-We open with Raylan visiting Boyd, on his feet again after the shooting, and Boyd bending Raylan’s ear about his newfound ministry. Raylan doesn’t buy it for a minute, and he asks Boyd for dirt on Arlo.

-Raylan passes along Johnny Crowder’s warning to Ava about Bo-- she’s not overly concerned. Art, coming to pick Raylan up for the day’s work, is not terribly pleased to find Ava in his motel room.

-Case of the week: civil forfeiture, centering on a man named Owen Carnes trying to offload paintings purchased with stolen cash. Art and Raylan pick up a gallery owner, Karl Hanselman (Robert Picardo) in Cincinnati, and drive him down to Carnes’ place. Carnes and the gallery owner begin discussing his collection of Hitler paintings. Art, in disbelief, asks, “You mean Adolf?”

-Raylan, disgusted, wanders out and finds Carnes’ wife, who doesn’t seem particularly surprised or upset at the turn of events. I have in my notes “another blonde in trouble Jesus Raylan”--there’s nothing untoward, but... dude.

-On the way back to Cincinnati, Hanselman tells Raylan, with a smirk, to come see his “collection” any time. Raylan, never one to mince words- “I’d rather stick my dick in a blender.”

-Raylan finally meets ADA Vasquez, after some folderol at the office involving the now very dead Owen Carnes. Later, Winona shows up, asking Raylan to run a list of names through various criminal databases. Raylan visits Gary, and informs him that if Winona comes to grief through association with any of Gary’s shady dealings, Gary’s going to make another enemy.

-Back at the Carnes place, Raylan unravels the scam Caryn Carnes and the horse trainer, Greg Davis, are trying to pull-- he knows Owen didn’t kill himself, and he pulls Davis to his side by telling him, in an abstract way, about Gary, and how many more people he might have to kill. “Where will it end?” he asks.

-Finally, he goes to see Hanselman, and reluctantly agrees to see ‘the collection’. This is a great moment- the camera stays on Hanselman and Raylan as H. explains how his father used to work for Hitler, “a very charismatic man who knew who was to blame”. After the war, dad recanted publicly, but held onto his repugnant views in private. The camera then shows us shelves of glass jars filled with ash-- Hanselman has been tracking down Hitler’s paintings and burning them, in revenge.

-Raylan goes to see Boyd, and asks him to forget about Arlo. “I met a man whose whole life was crippled,” he explains. “I’m just going to let that old dog lie.”

Episode Seven: “Blind Spot”

-We open with Ava in the hardware store. Johnny Crowder comes in and loudly asks the proprietor for some specialty items-- rope, duct tape, plastic sheeting, and a shovel, on orders from the soon-to-be released Bo Crowder. Aunt Helen sees his bluff and raises him, aiming a shotgun at him-- a warning he wisely heeds.

-Later, Raylan visits Ava and she talks about Bowman, explaining that things weren’t miserable all the time. “I keep going back and forth, between light and dark,” she tells him. Just as they’re getting comfy, a masked intruder bursts in, blasting away, but Raylan manages to wrestle him out through the open second-floor window, firing off a few shots.

-Sheriff Mosley takes Raylan to question Johnny Crowder. On the drive, he explains his beef with the Crowders-- a certain Henry, widely known as ‘the good Crowder’, raped and killed Mosley’s ten-year-old niece. Johnny, for his part, knows nothing about the shooting, and confesses his affection for Ava.

-the next morning, we see a man watching Ava outside the Harlan County Sheriff’s Office. We then catch up to the actual shooter-- a cringing kid called Red, and we get a name for Ava’s watcher, Mr. Duke.

-Raylan gets chewed out by Art, since he has now literally tampered with the investigation against Boyd Crowder-- “Were you in her bedroom?” Unusually, Raylan has no smarty rejoinder.

-Ava and Winona share a strained conversation in the courthouse-- “You ever get tangled up with a law enforcement officer?” Winona asks. They’re interrupted by Sheriff Mosley, who asks Ava to come with him.

-Raylan visits Boyd, looking for answers. After a false start, Boyd explains that Bo didn’t order Ava to be shot, and plants a flea in Raylan’s ear-- what if Ava wasn’t the target?

-Answers arrive quickly: Mosley is in cahoots with the Miami cartel. Duke was supposed to kill Raylan, but, since Duke isn’t familiar with Kentucky, Mosley supplied Red. Mosley shoots Duke to prevent his mistake being exposed, and hatches a plan to bring Raylan to the cartel. Red, driving a bound and gagged Ava, gleefully expounds on Ava’s desirability among the straight men of Harlan County. Ava frees herself enough to strangle him, and the chase ends with Raylan and Ava free and Mosley under arrest. In a passing comment, Mosley brings up the Dixie Mafia, and their current alliance with Miami.

-Finally, we meet Bo Crowder (M.C. Gainey). Boyd’s ongoing conversations with Raylan have not gone unnoticed by his fellow inmates, and just as they start beating on him for being a snitch, Bo intervenes. “It’s good to see you, Daddy,” Boyd says with a smile.

Episode Eight, “Blowback”

-At a diner in Lexington, the newly-released Bo slides into a booth with Ava. He’s out early courtesy of Mosley’s arrest, and he delivers a truly nasty innuendo about ‘homemade pie’ before Raylan arrives on the scene.

-Case of the week: a prisoner, Cal Wallace (Deadwood’s W. Earl Brown), is in Lexington for a few hearings, pending transfer to a ‘supermax’ facility.

-Winona arrives home in the middle of the afternoon, to find an unexpected guest-- Wynn Duffy (Jere Burns), self-styled ‘home security consultant’ and possessor of a luxuriant blond coiffure. Right away, Winona smells a rat, and sends Duffy packing, but not before he snidely sends his regards to Gary.

-Prisoner Wallace places the Marshals’ Office under a hostage situation, and Art tells Raylan that if he gets a clear shot, he should take it. Raylan, due for a meeting with Vasquez, begins chatting with Wallace, attempting to defuse the situation. Wallace is a colorful sort-- he has no particular illusions about escape or amnesty. Eventually, Raylan teases out that Wallace is furious with the prison system for dehumanizing him, and under mounting pressure, offers Wallace some fried chicken, sending Tim Gutterson out to get it before Lexington SWAT arrives.

-Winona confronts Gary about Duffy’s visit-- he initially tries to play dumb, but then gets irritated when he realizes how much she knows. Duffy was on the list of names that Winona gave to Raylan in E6.

-Another parable from the Book of Raylan Givens: “People in terrible situations stay alive not because they think things will get better, but because they want to see how the story ends.” For now, Cal Wallace’s story ends in fried chicken, a shot of bourbon, and not dying on the carpet.

-Unfortunately for Raylan, he still has to meet with Vasquez, who brings bad news: thanks to Raylan hopping into bed with Ava, the case against Boyd Crowder has essentially disappeared. Raylan goes to greet an ebullient Boyd. “Who are any of us to fight the will of God?” Boyd proclaims. Raylan promises that he’ll see Boyd locked up again before long, as Boyd practically skips into his father’s arms.

Episode Nine: “Hatless”

-Raylan, on a week’s suspension, is drinking away his sorrows when he eavesdrops on two bros talking derogatorily about women. “I didn’t order assholes with my whiskey”, he sneers, and all three go outside. Hilariously, it’s the middle of the afternoon. In short order, Raylan gets the tar kicked out of him, and one of the troublemakers even steals his hat. Winona, who he was supposed to meet, finds him on the ground. (One has to wonder how many times she found him in these exact circumstances.)

-at Raylan’s motel, Winona asks him about Duffy as she tends to his wounds. As yet, he doesn’t know much, but it paints an unpleasant picture.

-Gary, meanwhile, goes to visit his old college friend Toby, a former football star. He’s trying to worm money out of him, but Toby tells him he can’t spare any. He offers, instead, to provide a little intimidation.

-Raylan tracks down Duffy in his shabby office. Duffy’s lackey makes a few menacing remarks, and Raylan, his face still raw from the bar fight, calmly says, “I already got one ass-kicking; I’m not looking for another”, but mentions that if Duffy goes after Gary and Winona, they’ll have more to discuss. After Raylan leaves, Duffy orders his pal to tail him and ‘put him in the ground’.

-Duffy makes a phone call to his boss, a Mr. Arnett, asking him for more instructions. Gary shows up with Toby, who gets slightly carried away with his role as a heavy. Gary, meanwhile, blabbers on about how Arnett could double his money on the land deal if he just waits.

-And it’s our buddy Arnold Pinter, back from a disappointing sojourn in Tahiti. (An aside: in my experience after more than a decade in NY, there are few people more parochial than born-and-raised Brooklynites. And, y’know, fair dues, it’s a great place, but it’s really fucking funny to this Montanan.) Pinter gives Raylan the rundown on Duffy and Arnett-- Arnett is with the Dixie Mafia, operating out of Frankfort, and Duffy is a dangerous loose cannon.

-Raylan tracks down Duffy’s sidekick Billy, who turns out not to be so tough on his own-- he reveals that Duffy plans to kidnap Winona that very night. Raylan immediately goes to get Winona. On the drive to safety, she tries to explain why she’s with Gary, and says maybe the most devastating thing she’s said so far, “I needed a little hope in my life.”

-After a talk, Raylan and Gary go to confront Duffy and Arnett. Gary offers Arnett the deed to his proposed ‘shopping destination’, and to everyone’s surprise, Arnett accepts. Duffy quite literally goes ballistic, screaming at Arnett, “Show me the Benjamins the homies are always rapping about!” But cooler heads (eventually) prevail, and Raylan takes Gary back to Winona.

-Finally, Raylan recovers his stolen hat, thanks to the bartender. He mocks the thief, saying, “That’s a ten-gallon hat on a twenty-gallon head.”