#and less immediately I have 6 lectures to catch up on. I gotta watch two before Monday

[exopelagic]

just take this

[thegreatestofheck]

The Girl with No Heartbeat Pt.6 ⊰JJ Maybank⊱

(gif not mine. credit to kaipurge)

word count - 6.2k  warnings - none other than the fact that it is completely unedited. I hope no one minds synopsis - It’s movie night! Mera and the gang watch the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies. It’s all fun and games until something is triggered within Mera that sends her spiraling. a/n - So, this has got spoilers for the first three pirates movies, but only slightly, not much. It won’t be too bad if you haven’t seen it, it’s pretty vague. Also, I’m kind of deciding that there will be some love triangle action going on, so yay for that. Also, I’m sorry it took so long for this chapter to happen. Anyway, enjoy this chapter!! 

***

When Mera stepped into the pod the next day, her shoulders sagged and she let out a deep sigh. She had thought that the pod had been full yesterday, yet somehow, overnight, Ward had managed to fill the pod even more. There had already been enough dread of coming back to work as it was, Mera couldn’t believe there was more in this room she would have to clean. 

“As long as he keeps paying me for it,” she grumbled to herself. Just as she started to clamber her way less than delicately through the mass of stuff toward the bathtub with her ammonia filled bag, the door squeaked open. 

“Hey,” Rafe said from behind her. 

“Hello,” she replied as she tiptoed around a dishwasher. 

“Um, how are you?” 

“Fine. You?” 

“Good, good.” 

Mera glanced behind her to see Rafe still standing by the door with a bag in his hand. His lips were pressed into a fine line and he was staring at his shoes. 

“What do you have there?” Mera asked once she reached the tub. Rafe lifted the bag. 

“Oh, I just bought, uh, donuts,�� he said. “Thought you might be hungry.” 

“Why would I be hungry?” she laughed, hoisting the bag out of the tub. Rafe rolled and for a moment he looked like that arrogant boy she remembered the first time they met. 

“Those pogues you live with barely have food to feed themselves. I doubt they have the supply to feed you too,” he said. Mera scowled at him even as she lugged her bag back toward him. 

“And you wonder why I punched you in the mouth when we first met,” she scoffed. Rafe scowled at her as she dropped the bag onto the ground. The metal stove tops inside clattered to the ground, but she didn’t flinch as she kept Rafe’s gaze. 

“If you have a lecture for me, save it,” he snapped suddenly, crossing his arms. 

“I don’t lecture, Rafe,” she said and broke eye contact. She leaned down to pick the bag off the ground again. 

“Right, you just hit people you don’t agree with.” 

“No, I hit entitled, arrogant assholes who think they’re better than everyone else because their daddy has money,” she snapped, sending him a hard glare. Rafe’s mouth parted as he thought up something to say, but then he looked away from her, glaring at the ground. “You don’t want a lecture? Fine, you won’t get one from me. But don’t expect to be making friends any time soon if you keep acting like you own the world.”

“Who said I needed friends?” He asked as Mera pushed past him toward the door. Mera rolled her eyes, settling back into a scowl. 

“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe the fact that you keep following me around like a lost kitten,” she said. She stepped outside and started toward the house, looking for a faucet of some kind. 

“I don’t follow you around!” he said as he followed her outside. 

“Admit it. You’re either madly in love with me or you just really, desperately need a friend. I’d prefer the latter.” 

Rafe spluttered for a bit, crossing and uncrossing his arms as he struggled to find something decent to say. Mera found a hose and set the bag down in the grass beside it. 

“You wanna make yourself useful?” Mera snapped. “Find me a bucket or a tub or something I can use.” 

Rafe stormed away and Mera looked down at her trash bag. 

“Hey, Mera!” Someone called from above. She looked up to see Sarah hanging out a window. “How’s it going?” 

“Your brother’s a bilge rat.” 

“I don’t know what that means, but if it’s West Coast for ‘asshole’ then yeah, pretty much” Sarah said. “Anything I can do to help you?” 

Mera shook her head and let out a sigh. 

“No, I don’t think so, Sarah. It’s appreciated though,” Mera said. 

“So, uh, how’s Kiara?” Sarah asked, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “And the others? Kiara and the others. You know, because you live with them you would know. At least, you live with John B and sometimes JJ so, of course.”

Mera felt herself smile as she tore open the trash bag. She gagged momentarily at the smell of the ammonia, but then she looked back up at Sarah. 

“They’re all good.”

“Good is good. Good is good.” Sarah let out a sigh and Mera’s smile grew. 

“You and Kiara, are you-”

“No!” Sarah said quickly. “God, no. I like men. Men only. Only men. Kiara and I were...friends back in the day.”

“Why aren’t you friends now?”

“Hold on a sec,” Sarah said before leaning back into the house. “Yeah, Dad?”

Mera waited patiently as she heard Ward and Sarah’s muffled voices. 

“Hey, Mera?” Sarah called down from above once again. “I’ve gotta go real quick, but I’ll be back soon and maybe we can chat then, yeah?” 

Mera smiled up and nodded her head. 

“Catch ya later,” the blonde said before ducking back inside. Despite how angry Mera had just been, Sarah had somehow managed to make her smile. That smile faltered when a tub was thrown at her feet. 

“I’m not in love with you,” Rafe said, standing behind Mera. She sighed and lowered her hands.

“I’ll be your friend, Rafe, on one condition,” she said, turning and standing. Rafe almost seemed to flinch at her. “Don’t make jabs at my family.”

Rafe cleared his throat. 

“Right. No more jabs.”

Mera gave her head a stiff nod. 

“Also, one more thing,” she said, holding up a finger. 

“I thought you said only one condition.” 

“This isn’t a condition. Just a favor.”

“I bought you a donut, isn’t that favor enough?”

“Listen, all I need is something to scrub these metal things down with. I’m not asking you to murder anyone or anything,” Mera said, growing slightly more irritated. 

“I think there’s one in the kitchen,” he said finally. Mera raised an eyebrow. 

“You think?” 

Rafe simply rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of a smile on his face as he walked toward the front of the house. 

~~~

“You may not want to touch me,” Mera said with a laugh, holding her hands out as Kie threw her arms around Mera’s shoulders. “I’m gross.” 

“We’re all gross,” Kie laughed. Mera held up her hands, covered in grime and black muck. Kie grimaced and Mera gave her head a little nod. 

“That’s what I thought.” 

Mera started toward the house, Kie strolling along beside her. 

“So, where are the boys?” Mera asked. 

“They’re getting snacks for movie night,” Kie said, a smile on her face. “I’m so excited. We’ve gotta start with the Pirates movies, of course, but I think you’re really gonna like Cinderella, so we’re doing that one next, no matter what JJ says.”

“So, no vampires in Santa Cruz?” 

“No vampires, period. Not until you watch Cinderella, of course.” 

Mera laughed to herself, giving her head a little shake. 

“I was given a movie suggestion today that we should add to the list,” Mera said as she walked into the bathroom. Kie settled herself onto the toilet seat, watching Mera with a wide smile. 

“Sure, what movie?” 

“Pulp Fiction, I think it was called?” Kie rolled her eyes at the suggestion.

“That’s John B’s favorite movie,” she said with a quiet huff. “Who suggested it?” 

“Oh, uh, Sarah.” 

Kie was too immediately frazzled by the mention of Sarah’s name to see the way Mera’s eyes flicked back and forth at her own lie. 

“Why were you talking to Sarah?” Kie asked, a scowl pinching her eyebrows. Mera shrugged, turning on the water and beginning to scrub at her hands. 

“She’s nice to me.” 

“She’s a two faced bitch is what she is,” Kie grumbled, pulling her knees up to her chest and scowling even harder. Mera glanced over and raised an eyebrow. 

“I feel like I am missing a vital piece of information. What happened between the two of you?” Mera continued to scrub at her hands, remembering the way Sarah blushed and stuttered after asking about Kie. There was definitely something going on. 

“She was my best friend.” There was a deep sadness in Kie’s voice that made Mera turn the water down and put more of her attention on her. “We did everything together. She was everything…. But she wasn’t who I thought she was.” 

“What did she do?” Mera tried to remember the way her father used to talk to her when she was upset, how he would lower his voice and reach out to grab her hand to keep her from shaking, how sometimes he would pretend to be distracted with something else so she didn’t feel like she was burdening him with all her troubles. Now, Mera tried to emulate that same feeling for her friend, for Kie. 

Kie scoffed, but her eyes were full of tears. 

“It sounds stupid,” the girl grumbled. Mera was tempted to put a hand on Kie’s shoulder and give her a reassuring squeeze, but her hands were still covered in filth. 

“Your pain is anything but stupid.” 

Kie looked up at Mera, her deep brown eyes still full of tears, but there was a small smile on the girl’s lips. 

“It’s movie night,” Kie said suddenly, straightening her back and blinking away her tears. “There’s no crying on movie night.” 

Mera watched as Kie shoved her feelings back down into the box she kept them in. It was a familiar sight. Mera had seen it in the mirror a million times before. 

“Right. I just have to get this uck off of my hands and then I’ll be ready.” 

~~~

Mera thought that movie night would have been at the Chateau, since it was where they had spent all of their time already. She was surprised when the boys pulled up in the van, the back stocked full of snacks that Mera had never seen before in her lives, but none of the boys got out. 

“You sea lassies ready to go?” JJ asked from the back with a horrible pirate accent, holding the sliding door open with a smile. Mera was caught somewhere between mentioning the accent and asking where exactly they were going. 

“Aren’t we staying?” She asked finally while Kie climbed into the seat beside John B. 

“Kie’s the only one with a TV,” John B said. Mera barely had time to scowl at the unusual name before Pope started to explain it. 

“TV. It’s short for television. It’s like a flat box that displays the movie onto it,” Pope said, popping a red fish-like food into his mouth. JJ offered Mera a hand to help her into the van, which she took even though she really didn’t need to. When she felt her face flush, she pulled her hand from his and settled down across from him, beside Pope, who continued to prattle on about the long and exciting history of television. 

“JJ, hand me the notebook,” Kie said from the front seat. Mera, who had been watching Pope as he talked to her, glanced over at JJ when he didn’t respond to his friend, only to find that his blue eyes were fixed on her. “JJ!” 

The boy startled and seemed to snap back into reality. He pulled a notebook from one of his many pockets and handed it to Kie, not looking at Mera. Instead, he started to fiddle with the ring on his pointer finger. An unholy array of thoughts passed through Mera’s mind before Pope elbowed her lightly in the arm and nodded toward John B. 

“Kie says you’re adding Pulp Fiction to the list?” John B said, looking in the rearview mirror with a large smile. Mera nodded her head. 

“It was recommended.”

“By who?”

“Um, Sarah,” Mera said as she glanced at Kie, who had taken to picking aimlessly at her nails. 

“Sarah Cameron suggested you watch Pulp Fiction?” Pope asked with a tone of disbelief. All Mera could do was smile and nod and pray that they wouldn’t push her any further. Of course Sarah hadn’t recommended Pulp Fiction. Rafe did, but there was no way that Mera was going to tell them that, especially when John B’s smile was so big. 

“What are these?” Mera asked, looking at all the different bags laying in front of her. JJ suddenly reentered the conversation as it turned onto food, a glimmer in his eyes. 

“These are hot cheetos. They didn’t have any takis, so we had to get these. Those over by Pope are Swedish Fish. They’re disgusting-” 

“No they aren’t!” Pope protested, tossing two more of the red fish into his mouth. 

“You’re the only one who likes them. Anyway-” Mera reached over and put her hand in the Swedish fish bag, pulling out one of the oblong candies. Pope nodded his head enthusiastically for her to try it. “We got some Pringles and some Skittles and some chocolates for JB and some gummy worms and some raspberries for Kie.” 

“Really?” Kie turned around in her chair again, a huge smile on her face. “I didn’t think they were in season.” 

“They aren’t but Pope over here wanted to buy some for you anyway,” JJ said with a huff. Mera still held the Swedish Fish in her hand, not sure if she was actually willing to try it. 

“Thanks, Pope,” Kie said, turning her smile to the boy sitting next to Mera. Instead of saying anything to Kie, Pope tried to hide his sheepish smile by turning and talking to Mera. 

“Try it!” He said, motioning for the fish in her hand. “I promise it’s good. JJ just has jacked up taste buds from all the weed he smokes.” 

JJ stuck out his tongue, but the joke was enough motivation for Mera to finally take a bite out of the candy. The outside was almost hard, but the inside was soft and gooey. Mera scowled, unsure of what to make of the sweet flavor at first. 

“See?” JJ said, crossing his arms. “Disgusting.” 

“She hasn’t said anything yet!” Pope protested. 

“It’s all over her face, Poe. She hates it.” 

“It’s actually not the worst thing I’ve ever eaten,” Mera said once she had chewed enough to swallow, which felt like forever. 

“See?” Pope sneered at his blond friend in a mocking tone. 

“She said not the worst, which doesn’t mean it’s any good.” 

“Well,” Mera said with a smile. “When you’ve eaten gull legs, gruel, and barnacles, there isn’t a lot that doesn’t taste good.” 

“There, Pope, you happy?” Kie said from the front, her leg propped up on the dash. “Swedish Fish aren’t as disgusting as seagull legs.” 

Pope scowled and threw another fish in his mouth as Mera chewed quietly on her own. Mera sat back and let them all talk to each other, passing insults and jokes that Mera didn’t quite understand. But she laughed anyway because one day she would understand and one day those jokes would be funny to her too. 

She wasn’t sure what she expected Kie’s house to be like, but the grandiose mansion was not it. For a moment, she felt her heart plummet. But when she glanced over at Kie and saw the same look of disappointment, Mera felt a warm feeling return. 

“Your parents know we’re coming, right Kie?” Pope asked as he looked up at the large, white house, carrying a bag of snacks in his arms. 

“Of course they do,” Kie said with a roll of her eyes. “Why wouldn’t they?” 

“Because last time you didn’t tell them,” JJ said. “And we got a nearly three hour lecture.”

“Right. Well, I did tell them this time.” Kie turned to Mera. “And they are so excited to meet you.” 

Kie’s mom wasn’t there when the five showed up, but her dad was more than happy to welcome them inside. 

“Hey, Big Mike!” JJ said as they all walked inside, Kie taking the lead. Mike, Kie’s dad, did not seem impressed by JJ or his toothy grin. Pope shook his hand, which made Mr. Carrera almost smile, but he ignored John B completely. 

“You must be Mera,” Mike said when he finally came to her. Mera forced herself to smile and she nodded. She shook his outstretched hand. 

“That I am.” 

“And you’re…John B’s cousin?” Mike looked between Mera and John B for a few moments, eyebrow raised just like his daughter did. 

“Why does no one believe that she’s my cousin?” John B grumbled, crossing his arms. Mera simply laughed. 

“Yes. He’s my cousin.” 

“Well, I’m glad to finally meet you. You’re always welcome here,” he said, still smiling. 

“I didn’t get an always welcome invite,” said JJ, to which Kie rolled her eyes. 

“There’s a very good reason for that, JJ.” 

~~~

There was only mild interrogation before Mike decided it was okay to leave them alone and lock himself away in his room. With the lights shut off, the popcorn popped, and candies in a wild array around them, all five teens wrapped themselves in blankets and settled down in front of the TV. 

It took some getting used to for Mera. A lot of getting used to. At first, the lights from the screen hurt her eyes and the music was so loud. But by the time the movie actually started, she stopped cringing. Mera was settled near the edge of the couch between Kie and Pope so she could steal Swedish Fish from his bag but still reach the popcorn (which, she discovered, was heaven sent. Way better than gull feet). 

She let her mind stop wondering how hard it must have been to invent the thing before, stop trying to figure out how it worked, stop lamenting over her lost centuries, and let herself just enjoy the movie placed before her. 

It was part romance, part sea-faring adventure. Inaccurate as it was, Mera found herself enjoying it. She laughed with the jokes, shoved her face full of popcorn when things got tense, and exclaimed more than once about how cool Jack Sparrow was. 

“Just wait till the next movies,” Kie gushed. “You’ll love them all even more.” 

There was no question as to whether they would put in the next movie. In the brief time it took Kie to slide out of her spot and put the next disk in, the boys were berating Mera with questions. 

“How accurate was it?” 

“Did you like it?” 

“Did you notice when-” 

“Did you ever meet Jack Sparrow?” 

“Jack Sparrow’s fake, you idiot.” 

“I’m pretty sure it was Captain Jack Sparrow.” 

“Right, right.” 

The second movie started and everyone went silent. Again, Mera was enthralled. There was no turning her head from the screen. If someone even opened their mouth to speak, she was shushing them instantly. She didn’t want to miss a single second. 

By half way through the third movie, Kie had fallen asleep on Mera’s shoulder. Pope didn’t last much longer before he too fell asleep, his empty bag of Swedish Fish fallen on the floor. John B stayed awake until the big battle started. Mera had no idea how he slept through all the cannon fire. She flinched almost every time one went off and every time, Kie would squeeze her hand in her sleep. 

“He’s not dead,” Mera whispered into the darkness, the first time she had spoken since the post-second movie interrogation. She looked across the couch toward JJ, who was the only one left awake. He was shocked to see the light of the television illuminated the glimmer of a tear on her face. “He can’t be.” 

JJ wished he was closer, just so he could reassure her that everything would be alright. Even though her worries were relieved just seconds later, he couldn’t help but wish he was closer. He barely looked back at the screen the entire rest of the movie, watching the way her eyes lit up near the end with the scene at the beach, watching the way another tear slid down her cheek at the painful departure of the two lovers. He watched her smile at the final scenes with Jack and Barbossa and Gibbs, watched as her mouth fell open with shock when the credits started to roll. 

“There’s a little scene at the end,” JJ whispered to her. She finally looked over at him and nodded, trusting that he was telling the truth. She read through all of the names, mentally thanking everyone of them for their contribution until, just like JJ said, there was a small scene at the end. 

It was simple and it was short, but by the end of it, Mera had more than one tear rolling from her eyes. The movie ended completely and JJ shut the TV off, but Mera still stared at the now blank screen. 

“What did you think?” He asked, giving her a few moments to process. At first, all she could do was nod her head. 

“That was….” Mera let out a long sigh as she struggled to find the word that suited it best. “Epic.” 

“You really liked it?” 

At the near giddiness in JJ’s voice, Mera finally tore her eyes from the screen to look at him and nod. 

“I’ll probably have to watch it a million more times.” 

“We have to watch Lost Boys first,” JJ said, slouching down farther in his chair. “And Interview With a Vampire.” 

Mera laughed quietly and Kie stirred beside her, groaning quietly in her sleep. 

“Kie said that we have to watch Cinderella first,” Mera told JJ as she looked down at the sleeping girl. JJ made a fake vomiting sound. 

“That’s a princess movie,” he said with a disgusted look on his face.

“So?”

“Princesses are for girl’s, Mera!” 

“From my experience,” Mera told him, crossing her arms gently. “Boys have been more infatuated with princesses than any other breed since the title was even thought up. More boys would give their right arm and leg to marry a princess than, say, a pirate.” 

“I’d marry a pirate,” JJ said confidently. Mera felt her face grow hot and she was suddenly grateful for the darkness to cover her. “I, uh, I just mean that not every guy is looking for a princess to fall in love with. That’s all.” 

“Right, of course.” 

The mood fell flat. JJ cleared his throat twice like he was going to say something else, but never did. Eventually, Mera gave up on the awkward silence. 

“Goodnight, JJ,” she said suddenly. “I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Night, Mera.” 

They fell silent again. Mera tried to squeeze her eyes shut and pray for sleep, but her mind was still racing at a thousand miles a minute. Not only were the movie scenes still bouncing around her head, but she was actively trying to convince herself that JJ hadn’t just said he would marry a pirate...in the presence of a literal pirate. 

Of course he didn’t mean me, she thought to herself. I’m not really a pirate anymore, now am I? 

Mera didn’t realize that the movie scenes in her mindseye had shifted from what she had actually seen on the television, to something more fantastical until she was already asleep. Fiction morphed with reality until she was back on the sea once more, the taste of salt in the air as sea mist sprayed through the air. 

She was on top of the Black Pearl, with two captains at the helm. At first, she thought it was Jack and Barbossa, like it was in the movies, but when they both turned around, she realized that they were strangers. She didn’t recognize their faces because their features were blurred beyond comprehension. Despite not knowing what they looked like, Mera felt like she...knew them both. 

Two captains of one ship. She couldn’t tell who they were, but the feeling of familiarity was too real to pass up. 

And then things got even weirder. 

She heard her father call her name, but it wasn’t the name she was used to hearing from his lips. 

“Mera,” he whispered to her from somewhere behind. When she turned, he wasn’t there. “Mera.” 

From behind again. She spun, this time hoping to catch him standing there, but there was nothing but the sea mist. She scowled, confused as the two captains shouted contradictory orders. The boat tugged and it pulled, trying to obey the commands of both of her captains at once. 

“Mera!” This was a different voice. The voice of a song, but strict and stern. This time, when Mera turned, she found herself standing face to face with her siren sister, Ira. Her deep brown skin glittered in the sunlight as water dripped down her nude body. Her lips were pursed, expertly covering the fangs that hid beneath. Her brown eyes sparkled, but in every way that made Mera shiver. 

“You left us,” Ira hissed. Mera heard her words inside her head, but her mouth did not move. “You abandoned your own family.” 

“No.” Mera shook her head and took a step backward. 

“Yes, Mera.” 

“Mera!” A third voice called. Mera spun around and the ship changed. No longer was she on the Black Pearl with it’s two captains, but she was back on the Iron Anchor, her mother standing by the stern. Ira was gone. 

“Mera!” Her mother cried out. “Look out!” 

Mera spun around, ducking under the swing of a sword with milliseconds to spare. As she stumbled backward, still wearing the pajamas Kie had leant her, Mera realized what was happening. 

Cannon fire echoed through the air, the smell of sea salt air replaced by gunpowder and burning wood. The mast of the Anchor lay toppled over, creating a wonderful walkway for the British ship that bobbed a few yards beside them. They were being attacked. 

She fell back into the flow of fighting almost instantly. Without any protection and no weapon, Mera needed to think smart. She ducked and evaded until she could get a clean shot at a gut or the groin, waiting for the right moment to grab a weapon. 

“Mera!” Her mother’s voice called again, but from much closer. There was no time to look for her though. All Mera could do was fight to stay alive. It suddenly felt as if Mera was the only one left fighting the British, that they were all ganging up on her and she was nearly defenseless to stop them. 

“Mera,” her mother said from somewhere that she couldn’t see. “None of this would have happened if you hadn’t left me.”

“I’m right here, Mother,” Mera said, grinding her teeth as she fought to keep the sword of her opponent from running her through. 

“You left us.” Her mother’s voice was weepy. “I lost your father and then I lost you. I am so alone.” 

“No!” Mera cried, shoving her opponent off of her and into another British soldier. “I’m right here.” 

She heard her mother scream, the same ear splitting cry Mera had heard the day her father had been run through. Turning slowly to face the other side of the boat, Mera saw the Commander of the British ship holding a sword that was deep in Amarylis Briarheart’s gut. The same Commander that had killed her father.

“No!” Mera screamed. She ran across the suddenly empty deck, with no opposition in her path. She didn’t hesitate to grab the Commander and pull him away from her mother. They fought, just as they had done once long, long before. And just like before, the Commander sunk his sword into Mera’s side. For half a second, she felt the sting of metal tear through her flesh, and then she just felt numb. Clenching her jaw, Mera didn’t even look back at her dying mother before wrapping her arms around the Commander’s neck and leaning over the edge of the boat, toppling down deep, deep into the darkness below. 

“Mera,” a voice whispered like a lullaby. She wasn’t sure if it was Ira or her mother or Kie, but the voice was quiet and calm, like a wave lapping against a quiet shore. 

“Mera.” 

The ocean was cold and it was dark, but Mera could barely feel anything. She recognized the numbness. It faded quickly as her lungs began to burn and the salt of the water began to stab at her wound. 

And Mera waited. She waited for Ira to come like she did before. She waited for the offer that she would accept so she wouldn’t have to die. But Ira never came. 

“You took immortality from me once,” Ira’s voice said, though she was nowhere to be seen. “And you gave it up for some boy!” 

“He didn’t deserve to die,” Mera replied. 

“Maybe not.” There was a pause. “Then again, maybe you did.” 

In one swift motion, Mera felt something tug harshly against her neck, dragging her down, down, down, away from the light of the sun and into the depths of the sea. Mera screamed, or she tried to, at least. One arm around her neck became a dozen hands across her entire body, pulling at her flesh, tearing out her hair, yanking her down to the sea floor. 

“You have blood on your hands,” an unfamiliar voice boomed throughout the ocean. “It’s time for you to pay for it, Mera.” 

Her screams never stopped as the sirens she once called her brothers and sisters tore into her skin as she had done so many times, shrieking her new name as they did so as if it was an insult on their lips. 

“Mera! Mera!” They cried. 

“Mera!” The booming voice echoed. 

“Mera!” Ira hissed in her ear. 

“Mera!” Her mother shrieked for her as she fell over the side of the boat. 

“Mera!” Her dad breathed as he died. 

“Mera!” the two mysterious captains yelled, both vying for her attention. 

“Mera!” 

With a gasp, she shot upward, her eyes snapping open. 

“Mera, are you okay?” Mike Carrera knelt in front of her, holding her wrists in his strong grip. Beside him sat Kie, eyes full of worry and fear. She looked around. To Pope, who was sitting next to her still, a hand on her shoulder. To John B, who was standing behind Mike and Kie with a fist pressed to his lips. To JJ, who sat on his knees beside her, fear etched into every feature. 

“What…?” She gasped for breath, noticing how hoarse her voice was. “What happened?” 

“You were screaming,” Kie told her quietly. “And shaking.”

“It must have been a nightmare,” Mike said, dropping his hands from her wrist back to his side. Once his grip was gone from her, Mera realized how badly she was shaking. Sweat beaded down her neck and spine, her muscles refused to relax as she tried not to look at the worried faces that surrounded her. 

“Yeah,” Mera murmured. “A nightmare.” 

“Are you okay?” Pope asked, his hand not leaving her shoulder despite how damp it was. Mera nodded her head slowly, not really trusting herself to speak. 

“I’ll get you some water,” John B said. Mera didn’t even have the strength to thank him. 

“Why don’t you sleep in my bed?” Kie asked, leaning forward and putting a hand on Mera’s knee. She just shook her head. 

“I would rather stay out here,” she said. “If that’s okay with you guys.” 

She glanced at Pope and JJ, almost worried they would kick her out for waking them up. 

“Of course that’s okay,” Pope said and gave her his best reassuring smile. John B returned with a cup of water that Mera took with trembling hands. 

“K, can I talk to you?” Mike asked, pushing himself to his feet. Kie nodded, following after him once she had given Mera’s hand a tight squeeze. 

“Here,” John B said, “We can sleep on the floor. You and Kie take the couch. It will be more comfortable that way.” 

Mera couldn’t find the strength to protest. Pope and JJ almost silently moved off of the couch, dragging their blankets and pillows with them onto the floor. She flattened herself just as quietly, straining to her ears to hear what Mike and Kie were talking about. Being a siren had left her with three unchanged physical characteristics; the unnaturally sea green eyes, an unbeating heart, and ears that were very tuned in for hushed conversations. This was one of the rare moments that Mera was grateful for it. 

“...anything happen at home?” Mike asked Kie. 

“Not...not that I know of. She’s had a tough life, though,” Kie replied. Mera felt the all too familiar weight of embarrassment press down against her. She wanted nothing more than to sink into the holes of this far too comfortable couch and stay there forever. 

“I might not know much, but I know those kinds of nightmares aren’t good for a kid,” Mike said. Mera could imagine him with his hands on his hips, a concerned dad look on his face. In the brief moments Mera had met him, he almost reminded her of her own father. It made her sad. 

“She’ll be fine, Dad,” Kie said. The confidence in her voice gave Mera a little bit of hope. 

“You don’t need to fix her, K.” These words were spoken even quieter than the other ones. The silence was deafening. “I know you want to fix that boy and you can’t, but that doesn’t mean you should take on another charity case.” 

“That’s not what this is, Dad!” Kie’s anger was evident even through her hushed tone. “JJ and Mera don’t need to be fixed. They’re not broken. They’re people who are hurt and they just need something stable and safe.” 

“And that has to be you?” 

“Not necessarily.” 

“But it is.” Kie was silent. “Look, baby, I know why you want to help them, but you have to take care of yourself too. They have to take care of you too.” 

“They do! I-”

Mera couldn’t stand to listen to any more. She rolled off the couch and tiptoed toward the sliding glass door that led to an outdoor patio. She didn’t even care to look and see if the boys were asleep yet. 

The fresh air felt good against her hot face and skin. Out in the open, she felt like she could breathe again. Lifting her head and she breathed deeply through her nose, Mera looked out toward the horizon, gazing at the glittering ocean set before her. The moon shone bright in the sky, reflecting off of the surface of the water. The stars twinkled above and shimmered below. If Mera could look past the trees and the buildings and the streetlamps, she could almost convince herself that she was back on the sea, with the wind in her hair, and the smell of the salt covering the musk of the men. 

But her moment of bliss was interrupted by the ever present ocean call. Her brothers and sisters sang to her from under the wave, luring her back to the water so she could pay the price for her sins. She had gotten a taste of what that might look like tonight in her dream and the thought scared her more than anything. The lullaby made her knees weak and she felt her breath go ragged again. It was too hot to go back inside, but she couldn’t stand being out here much longer. 

Luckily, her break came when the sliding glass door opened again. 

“Hey.” 

It was JJ. 

Mera brushed away a stray tear or two that managed to squeeze it’s way out of her eyes before half turning her head toward him. 

“Hey.” 

He walked forward, joining her at the railing. He leaned up against it just like she did, looking out over the water. For a moment he was silent and she wasn’t sure he was going to say anything else. His presence was enough to drown out the siren call a little, but she knew that if he spoke, she wouldn’t be able to hear it at all. She just wanted to be rid of it. 

“What were you dreaming about?” He asked finally. 

“Nothing pleasant,” she told him with a sigh. 

“Mmm.” He looked down at his hands. “We triggered something, didn’t we? Watching those movies?”

Mera shrugged her shoulders. It was possible. Probable, actually. But she had enjoyed herself. It was fun, until she fell asleep. 

“We’ll take a break from pirates and the undead for our next movie night,” JJ told her. “We’ll watch Cinderella.” 

Mera felt herself smile. 

“That sounds good to me.” 

When she looked over at JJ and saw the deep blue of the sea in his eyes, she felt the ocean call once again. But this was different. This wasn’t luring her to her death, but pulling her closer to something else, to him. And it wasn’t just a quiet song in the back of her mind. It was a roaring choir, a thousand times louder and a thousand times stronger. 

And a thousand times harder to resist.

~~~

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if you want to be added to the taglist, just let me know! ❤

[sakura-blossom28]

Blind Date: Part ll

This is a continuation of this.   I think I will continue this as little shorts with no real plot to them, just happy bursts of Sakura and Itachi

I don’t own Naruto!

Itachi found himself sitting in his little brother’s apartment not sure what to make of what he just witnessed.  He thought he saw the real Sakura peaking out, but that was nothing compared to the screaming that he heard.  After facing Sasuke in the hallway and feeling the daggers stabbed into his back from Naruto, he knew he had a lot of explaining to do.  Without even looking back at Sakura who was still trapped in Naruto’s arms, he walked silently into the boys’ apartment.  

As soon as he closed the door it sounded as if a bomb exploded in the hallway. Even though he was behind the door, Itachi could still hear Sakura giving an earful to her two best friends.  Whatever scolding he was about to receive from Sasuke and Naruto would be nothing compared to what Sakura was giving them right now.

Sakura was out of breath from hollering at the two people she cared about the most.  Sometimes they could be so immature!  As she caught her breath she saw that Sasuke was refusing to meet her eyes and Naruto was about to burst into tears.  Sighing Sakura knew she might have taken it a bit too far.

“Look, guys, I know your intentions are good but I am an adult too and I don’t need you two breathing down my neck all the time when it comes to dating.  Ino set me up on this date so I had no idea it would be Itachi, but I like him so I don’t want you two getting in the middle of this.  Itachi and I are going on a second date and I don’t want you guys to mess that up.  Now go back inside and let me cool off.”

Sakura stood there until they both gave a small nod she then turned to unlock her apartment door and stepped inside.  She stood there until she heard the two boys dragging their feet back into their own apartment.  Letting out another deep sigh Sakura had to make a phone call to her blonde best friend that would end with Ino bragging about how right she was.  It was going to be a long call…

Itachi turned around when he heard the door slowly open and saw that Naruto and Sasuke had haggard looks on their faces.  Whatever Sakura said to them must have not been good.  Thankfully Itachi was a kind soul and knew that Sakura would be upset at their actions, but he knew they were coming from a good place so he made tea for Sasuke and a cup of noodles for Naruto. Whenever his mother scolded them for roughhousing he would make them a treat to cheer them up, and this time was no different.  

Itachi gently placed the mug and cup in front to the respected person and both gave a quiet thanks as they slumped into chairs at the counter in their living space.  The older Uchiha stood quietly for them to collect their thoughts on everything that had just happened.  

When they had finally finished their treats Itachi awkwardly cleared his throat. The two boys before him all but lifted their eyes to him without saying a word.  It looked like Itachi would have to start this conversation.  Not being good with understanding his own emotions let alone speaking about them, it was going to be a difficult situation.  

“So…  Do you two want to talk about it?” Itachi carefully asked.  The two boys looked at each other and nodded.  

“Itachi we don’t care that you’re seeing Sakura.  We’re glad it’s you and not some dirtbag.  She’s a good person so don’t you dare break her heart,” Sasuke spoke with such command that Itachi was finally starting to see his little brother as a man.  

“I won’t hurt her I know the pain and I would never do that to another person,” Itachi said without any offense that his brother was looking out for his friend and not him.  He knew how important Sakura was to the both of them.

“Good.  Then you have our blessing!” Naruto exclaimed breaking out into a wide smile.  Itachi let out a breath he did not know he was holding, returning a small smile at Naruto’s words.  He turned to his brother and saw him smirking.  Before Itachi could ask Sasuke spoke.

“So what do you intend to tell Mother?” At this simple question, Itachi felt his stomach drop.  

“Please, let me get to know Sakura first before Mother knows.  I know they have met but it would be safer for everyone if she is told later.”

Sasuke started to chuckle, this was the first time he had the upper hand against Itachi and he would savor this moment forever.

“I don’t think that I’m the one you should be worried about Brother,” Sasuke said as he got up from his chair.

Itachi’s face paled at the thought.  He immediately grabbed his keys while dialing his cell phone while racing out of the apartment.  Poor Naruto was left alone in the kitchen to wonder who in the world could scare Itachi more than the Uchiha matriarch.  

Sakura could hear the smug smile on Ino’s face as she called her and told her about her date with the one and only Itachi Uchiha.  And to make it even worse Ino was being extremely pleasant the whole conversation.  Not even once did she scream in the phone about how she had been right about setting Sakura up with her boss.  It was really grating on Sakura’s emotions that Ino was being so calm during their whole exchange.  

“Fine pig I’ll say it; you were right.  I am so glad you set me up on this date and should have never doubted you.  There, are you happy?!” Sakura growled into the phone.  Ino was silent on the line for a full 30 seconds and literally exploded into laughter that Sakura thought Ino would die from without the intake of the air that she was lacking.  

“Forehead you OWE me big time,” she said between catching her breath.  

“Yes yes I know Ino, I’m hanging up before you can say anymore,” Sakura hung up before Ino could even respond.  

Looking at the time it was about 5 pm and she wasn’t hungry but she did have a strong headache coming on.  She couldn’t decide if it was from the boys or from Ino.  A long soak in her bath would cure that right away.  

It took Itachi 6 tries to reach his cousin Shisui on the phone.  He was already back in his apartment and was getting more frustrated by the second.  Itachi knew that he was ignoring his calls on purpose, but he finally picked up.

“Am I right or am I right?  I know what you’re going to say so there’s no need to say it cousin.  You love me and can’t thank me enough.  I can’t bear the thought of you groveling on my behalf so there’s no need! Now I gotta go there’s so business I need to attend to!”  And with that Shisui hung up without letting Itachi say a single word.  

He couldn’t believe how ridiculous his cousin was.  How they were related would never make sense to him.  Before he could think about it any more Itachi’s phone pinged with a new text message.  

Shisui: Don’t worry I won’t tell your mother.  You better text Sakura tonight and plan your next date before you lose her.

Shisui did have a point.  Itachi was going to call Sakura tomorrow, but after everything that happened today maybe a quick text would be good to see if his brother and his friend ruined his chance with Sakura.  

Itachi was never good at texting so it took him a few tries to get a good enough message to send to Sakura.  He wanted to come off as cool and casual but kept writing it like he was addressing his words as if he was emailing a coworker.   

Itachi: Hope Sasuke and Naruto did not give you too much trouble.  They did seem to come in with their tails between their legs, so whatever you said to them worked.

Simple, with a bit of humor that he was not accustomed to using over text message, but it was a good way to start a conversation no less.  Just as Sakura responded Itachi had enough time to pick up his book and get comfortable on the couch.

Sakura: Those two I can handle.  They have heard my lectures on boundaries enough times over the years. Did they give you the third degree?  It would be like Naruto to do so.  I hope Sasuke wasn’t too upset, you know how he gets.  

It was strange to be speaking to someone who knew so much about his life and family, but he himself had never met her before until today.  Sure he knew just as much about her from the stories he heard, but it was an odd feeling that they had never crossed paths before this day.  It was nice to know that there was someone out there who shared the same special people that he did.  

Itachi: They both surprisingly took the news pretty well.  Sasuke did threaten me, but he is taking better than I would have imagined.

Sakura: Well that is Sasuke for ya.  Hey, would you be free Friday to see a movie with me? It’s an artsy film that no one else wants to see.  You seem like a great person to dissect a film with!

Itachi had never been asked out before.  He was always the one to extend the invitation to the woman, not the other way around. The gentleman in him was kicking himself for letting Sakura initiate the second date.  It was actually kind of nice to see that she was just as interested in him as he was in her.  

He happily agreed and the next thing he knew it was approaching 11 pm and they had not stopped talking again.  When had texting been this easy for him? It was as if Sakura was right next to him and not miles away in another apartment building.  

All of their following conversations continued in the same fluid manner.  They respected each other's jobs and waited under after 5 pm to pick up where they left off, and before they knew it it was Friday and they were getting ready to see their film.  

With tickets in hand, they entered the theater and watched the film.  To Itachi, it was alright, a bit overdramatic for his tastes, but Sakura seemed to be enjoying it so he did not mind.  Especially when she leaned her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm through his.  After that, he kind of forgot to watch the rest of the film.  It was intoxicating to have another person that close again.  Itachi almost forgot what human contact was like.  He quite liked it.  

When the film ended they walked closely together to find something to eat. Sakura seemed to be lost in thought over the film and Itachi let her be.  He looked down to her to see that she had an apologetic look in her eyes.  

“I have a confession to make.  I actually didn’t want to see this film but there’s a patient at work that I’m trying to connect with more and they had mentioned that they were planning on watching this.  I wanted to be able to talk to them about it,” Sakura said with a sheepish grin on her face.  

Itachi couldn’t believe that Sakura would take time out of her personal life just to be able to talk to another person who she probably only sees a few times a year.  He would never take such lengths for a client.  Sakura was a unique person and he was happy that she took the time to connect to her patients, most doctors wouldn’t try that hard.  

“That’s very kind of you, but I’m afraid that I did not enjoy it as much as I thought I would,” Itachi said with a small smile gracing his lips.

Sakura looked up to him right then, with her eyes wide and said, “Oh my goodness I’m so glad you said that! I would have felt so bad if I was the only one who didn’t like it! So dramatic! But I can’t say much I love those cheesy action movies and their writing and acting are horrible!”

Itachi gave a small chuckle and could actually feel himself smiling as he looked down at Sakura’s confused face when she heard him laughing.

“Even though I don’t look like it, but I love those movies as well.  I have a questionable amount of those DVDs in my apartment.”

Sakura beamed with excitement at knowing something new about Itachi that seemed totally out of character for him like he said.  The night was still young and she had a new plan.  Sakura grabbed Itachi’s hand and pulled him towards the nearest bus stop where they caught the next bus heading toward Sakura’s apartment.  

Sakura invited Itachi up to watch said cheesy action movies with her after the terrible film they just watched and he agreed.  She promised that she would either cook for them or order something, but Itachi insisted that he would be able to cook something with whatever she had in her kitchen.  

As he was preparing to cook Sakura realized that they were still in their work clothes, her in slacks and heels, Itachi in a full suit.  It seemed both offices didn’t partake in casual Friday.  Before Itachi got to work Sakura approached him with a change of clothes and before he could question her she explained.

“Sasuke and Naruto are always leaving their stuff here so I figured they might fit you too.  I’d hate for the food to ruin your suit.”

As Itachi accepted the clothes he noticed something familiar about them.  On closer inspection, he realized that these were not Sasuke’s clothes but HIS.  He had been missing these sweatpants for months, exactly around when Sasuke stopped in to visit him after a night of partying with his friends.

“I had been wondering where these were.  I am pretty organized with my things so these had been missing for a while, thank you,” Itachi said as casually as possible, but he could already see the distress in Sakura’s face.   

I’ve worn those sweatpants so many times, I’ll miss them, Sakura said to herself.  She gave a weak laugh and walked into her bedroom to get changed herself.  When she was out of sight Itachi pulled out his phone and placed an order for the same pair of sweatpants, just a couple of sizes smaller and got to work on making their dinner.  

Sakura cleared everything off of her coffee table to make room for their dinner and glasses.  She had already popped her favorite action movie into the DVD player and was waiting to start the movie when Itachi came over with two plates in his hands.  When he saw what movie was playing he had to hold back the smile that was coming on to his lips.

“Sakura, I thought we were going to watch a cheesy action movie? This movie is actually good.”

When she looked at him Itachi could practically see hearts forming in her eyes. This made his heart pump a little faster.  No one had ever looked at him before with such affection projected into them.  This must be why Sasuke and Naruto could never stop talking about her.  

“This is my all time favorite movie so of course it’s going to be good!” Sakura chuckled.  They ate their dinner silently as they were engrossed in the movie.  

Not one second after they finished eating their meal, there was a knock on the door.  More like someone was pounding on the other side.  Sakura paused the movie and checked to see who it was.  An audible groan escaped Sakura's mouth as she ripped open her front door.  

Itachi leaned back on the couch to get a better view of the door only to see Sakura standing there with her arms crossed and shoulders tense as she looked at Naruto who was looking past her in search of food and Sasuke attempting to look cool and uninterested, in typical Uchiha style.

“Sakura something smells so good! We could smell it all the way down the hallway! Do ya got any more to share? Me and Sasuke are HUNGRY.  HEY wait a minute!  You were gonna watch that movie with us! Who’s here anyway?” Naruto spoke in a rushed voice.  That meant he had not eaten in the last couple of hours.  As he looked around he spied Itachi relaxing on Sakura’s couch as if it was the most normal thing in the world.  He gave a simple nod to the blond who looked a little confused at seeing him in Sakura’s apartment.  

Without a word, Sakura went into her kitchen and placed their leftover dinner onto a plate and handed it to Naruto.  

“Remember what I said about boundaries.  Return the plate tomorrow and it better be washed,” she said in a low voice and quietly shut the door in the blond’s face.  When she heard them walk away she released a deep sigh.  She walked back to the couch and ungracefully plopped into the spot next to Itachi.  

“I think you handled that very well.  No screaming on either end so that’s a plus,” Itachi said while looking at Sakura who was slumped down on the couch. She sat up straight without realizing how close she was to him.  

“Hmm I guess you’re right,” she said with a smile, now seeing that they were both in each other’s personal space.  Sakura kept a soft smile on her face as she looked into Itachi’s dark eyes.  Even though he looked similar to Sasuke, she could see so many differences between the brothers.  

Itachi’s eyes were softer than Sasuke’s.  Not as harsh and they held the wisdom of someone who was much older than he appeared.  Sakura couldn’t tell who made the first move, but the next thing she knew, her eyes were closed and Itachi’s soft lips were against hers.  He was gentle, never making moves to go further, he was enjoying their first kiss just as much as she was.  He slowly brought his right hand up to cup her face while Sakura placed her hand on his chest.  

When they broke apart both looked at each other with small smiles and hooded eyes.  Sakura gave Itachi one last kiss and curled into him while pulling a blanket around them from the back of the couch.  Itachi being a bit taken aback from such a kiss took a second to collect himself and placed his arm around Sakura as they started the movie again.  

As the credits rolled onto the screen Itachi noticed that it was getting late and should be heading back to his own apartment, he was still a gentleman after all and there would be no way he would be staying the night on the second date. He looked down to see that Sakura had fallen asleep.  Itachi didn’t have the heart to wake her up or leave her on the couch.  He very carefully scooped Sakura up and walked into her bedroom.  

The room matched the rest of the apartment in being more neutral colors with little furniture inside.  She did have a white vanity against the far wall in the corner of her room.  Itachi could see all of Sakura’s makeup and accessories were all neatly placed in their own spots.  It was good to know that she was as organized as he was.  

He gently placed her on her bed that was mostly white with green vines on the sheets that matched her light green walls.  The colors all complimented Sakura’s unique hair and this room especially made her hair stand out.  Itachi brushed the hair out of her eyes feeling that her hair was a soft as it looked.  He was actually pained to leave her, but he had to.  

Itachi could feel it in his gut that Sakura was a special person and he would have to do his best to keep her in his life.  He was not a man to believe in fate and signs but never had he become so attached to someone before in such a short amount of time.  This had the potential to become something special and he would be damned if he let his past corrupt what happiness could be in his future.  He was ready to move on from this heartache and so he chose Sakura to put his energy into, he just hoped that she would not be scared off by the intense emotions that he was feeling.  

He knew he was rushing things but he always believed in his gut decisions and they had never failed him before.  Sakura was extraordinary from everything he learned about her and only time would tell what would happen between them.  

As he locked the door behind him, Itachi felt hopeful about, dare he say it, love, for the first time in a long time.  He would do everything in his power to be the best version of himself for Sakura and in time maybe she too would feel these intense emotions for him as well.  

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. it’s already ten!!!

i went to bed later than i wanted to last night. then snoopy yowled all night. it woke me up 5-10 times. i lost count. i also didn’t know what time it was. i was just in limbo hell of “doze off, get immediately woken up by repeated and continuous meowing, still dark out.”

i was so tired when i got to class. i was so tired. i was only five minutes late. today i put on a light jacket and some gloves so the wind wouldn’t be miserable.

i met with my professors after class... the quantum mechanics professor gave me a Look. the classical mechanics professor told me this is becoming a problem because he can’t post the homework solutions for my classmates. it was... kinda stressful, i guess, honestly. i ended up caving and just asking suzanne for her solutions this evening when it became clear that i did not have time to sit and even start working yet again.

after my first two classes and the professor meetings my friends and i headed out for spaghetti day. it was great. we got there at a reasonable time and we had like 45 minutes to just relax in the grass and eat some spaghetti. 

every week harrison has been asking how many regretti i have at the end of each meal when i split off for group therapy. i have been slowly increasing the amount in my reply. 

oh yeah between classes luis was sitting at the desk next to me. i think one time he noticed when i was lost in thought because he held out his arm for a high five at the edge of my field of view. but anyway he said i was a northerner and i said arizona wasn’t really that far north of florida. he said i am sitting in the desk to the north of him so that makes me a northerner. i put my face in my hands.

group therapy went really well this week. the others seemed to think we didn’t talk about “anything heavy” but i think tax worries can get pretty heavy... i got to  share some of my achievements over the last week and talk about advice i’ve been trying to implement.

like when i was advised to start periodically writing down all my feelings in a notebook or a phone memo, i started stopping myself sometimes during the day and mentally scrolling through all the words for feelings that i could think of. i’d ask myself why i feel this way or that way, if that word fit how i was feeling... it’s not really making feelings come back? but it’s helping me kind of redefine the parameters i want to use for these feelings i guess. i said i haven’t been writing them down yet though, because i haven’t. i should do check ins a little more often even if i don’t put them here.

after group i went to get a hair cut!!! i just got a few inches off, to get my hair above my shoulders. on the way back to the department i noticed when people were looking at me way more than i usually notice. i was really worried something was wrong with my hair, or my face, or whatever i guess. when i finally did get back to the department i went in the bathroom to check the mirror and my brain said “oh!! it is my hair but shorter!” and that was a relief. when i was walking into the building my hair had formed a perfect ringlet directly into my eyeball so i put my bow back in. i had to wait for it to dry is all.

the other students were still all in class so i watched a youtube video. well, i watched two, since they were both around 20 minutes. after that keegan asked if i wanted to play smash and i said yes. harrison also joined us. 

we finally figured out a really good system. harrison and i are put on a team (with team attack on) against keegan and that way we win sometimes. actually as we kept playing harrison and i both got a lot better at working together and we started winning more often. we took out keegan when he was trying his hardest as, i think, marth, so he switched to captain falcon and kneed us both in the face until we flew off the edges.

i really want to switch to smash 4 but neither harrison nor keegan have a 3ds.

keegan showed me how to... jump cancel dash grab? i think that’s what it’s called. it made me actually able to grab other characters in the game hahaha. i don’t use grabs very much but with a much quicker option that helped a lot so i could hold him in the way of harrison’s attacks. or just throw him at harrison.

we played right up until the extra quantum lecture at 6. so, an hour and a half. which is not actually that long, game session wise. 

i told keegan later that i find it kind of astonishing that, like... it’s not surprising that i feel better after playing a video game with my friends. but the amount that i feel better is really something. i’ve been picking up new moves and hitting more “frame perfect” attacks every time we play and we barely even play once a week. it’s just... nice to be able to learn fast and retain a lot of information really quickly again, i guess. 

i realized a little too late that the pace of smash bros is comparable to that of fencing. i’d tell harrison to do something or to cover me and i’d feel like i gave him so much time and he just stood there, but thinking about it i probably gave him less than half a second to react before it was too late. i have to remember he’s a beginner, both to smash and to the gamecube controller. reflexes are something you build up over, you know, twenty-five years of playing video games i guess.

actually keegan was better at reacting to my communication than harrison was and i ended up missing a lot of big charged attacks because i’d try to warn the kid to get out of the way. team combos were a lot of fun though.

i do need to practice melee a little bit though... keegan said he was very interested in one-on-one fights because he would also get to do combos. i’ve gotten a lot better at them in the last few months but i still can’t take him on head to head haha.

that sure was a lot of time i just spent talking about smash!!!

i think i was the only one in our whole class who was actually taking notes in quantum at 6 pm. i was starving and exhausted though. i think everyone else (including the professor) was too. taylor may have fallen asleep.

after class taylor and i talked to harrison for a little bit and then we all went home. when i got home i popped some veggie corn dogs in the microwave and hid some cookies for snoopy. when i went to brush her i think i hit a tangle because she hissed at me again. she didn’t bite though! and i didn’t flinch away, i just moved my hand away and then put the brush down where she could see it. i’m glad that she trusts me enough to just hiss angrily instead of biting me and THEN hissing. she knows i’ll stop whatever i’m doing now. 

i cleaned her food bowl... and did some to-do list organization. i’m... worried. i feel like i took too many breaks today, even though it was only, like three. lunch, the videos after my haircut, and then playing melee for a while. everything else was class, doctor, or maintenance. 

tomorrow’s going to be just as bad. i’m teaching four hours from 9:30 to 1:45. i might get out a little less late since my slower student isn’t at my section this week... but then from 2 to 4 i’m at the drc. when am i gonna do homework...? suzanne sent me a guide but i don’t even have time to just sit down and follow that. and it’s not just blindly writing down everything because i gotta try to catch mistakes she made. and i also need to understand the material if i’m going to pass the class. it’s more like a hand rail while i go up the stairs.

i guess.

i just want to be caught up to my classmates again... i want to be part of the peer group instead of behind it. i’ve been struggling so hard with the homework that i haven’t been able to contribute and answer other people’s questions even in quantum. and i only have three weeks left to do that before finals. i’m scared. i still need to retake my quantum midterm but i haven’t had time to sit down to review my notes for that either.

sometimes i feel that if i had two more hours each day i could get everything that needed doing done. i’m starting to learn that a big part of grad school is accepting that not everything is going to get done on your preferred schedule. ESPECIALLY for me. so even with an extra two hours i probably just... wouldn’t be able to work for the whole extra two hours. i’m already exhausted by the end of the day. i can’t even do anything after like 8:30 unless it’s home-related and i can knock it out in 10 minutes. 

anyway a good thing today is that i got the self esteem boost of participating positively in group therapy today during the discussion, and also of realizing that i am remembering everything i learn during our bouts of smash even though they are kind of short and spaced very thinly.

it’s probably because i am actively doing the stuff i’m learning instead of trying to get it out of a book and lecture. it would probably help if i did physics practice problems. that’s always been a problem.

um... i guess writing it all down like this i did a lot today. it just wasn’t class work, which is what i need to be getting done. maybe tomorrow will be better. i’ll just have to try again. maybe i can bully harrison into grabbing an extra meal with me or something since hunger is a big issue when i’m thinking really hard.

[rawinternets]

Star Wars Episode 2: A rediscovery

OK... at this point, I’ve reviewed in series: 

Rogue One Ep4: A New Hope Ep5: Empire Strikes Back Ep1: Phantom Menace

And boy, I am not excited for Episode 2. Still, I’m ready to give it a chance. 

What happens when I do this is, I watch a movie that improves upon the effort in Episode 1. You can sense here that George Lucas took a lot of the criticisms to heart, maybe even ceded some control to others whom he trusts. Jar Jar is significantly toned down, the spectacle is there but the mystery and darkness is turned up a bit. 

Still, we have a mostly flat movie. Only one “9″ scene and really it’s just the visuals, which have always been Star Wars’s strength. And, we are introduced to George Lucas’s Awkward Teenager Fantasy of a Space Romance (tm) featuring a horribly directed Hayden Christensen and a bewilderingly amenable Natalie Portman. Like, at no time at all in this movie does it make sense that Padme should be falling for this petulant, whiny, and kind of creepy kid... unless we simply assume that she kind of sucks, too. 

Despite John Williams again trying to save the day (and this romance) with a score that soars to beauteous heights with Across the Stars, the film definitely fails here. The infamous “sand” line, etc etc etc all to come. 

Lastly, we get an incredibly hokey and just inexcusably bad Gladiator style setpiece. 1′s and 2′s abound. The end result is a film that kind of flops on the main plot points and otherwise just plods the prequel plots forward, setting up an ep3 that might well have been made into three movies since it’s the only prequel that is interesting or ties to the originals in any satisfactory way. 

On to the scores. 

Average score: 5.48 Standard deviation: 2.07

Scroll. 7. This whole scroll made me say, “I guess...” Like, fine, I guess Count Dooku is a necessary new Sith character. I guess the Republic needs to create an army to help the Jedi... None of it makes me that excited. Appropriate omen for the rest of the movie. 

Approaching Coruscant. 6. Very pretty ship. Very pretty cloudy day on Coruscant. Terrorist attack! Holy shit! Hollywood dramatic death of the decoy getting killed, bad directing/acting by Amidala. I wrote, “woof.” talk about botching an interesting idea. 

Palpatine and Jedi. 7. More expository scenes here. “Dooku was behind it.” Sure, whatever. Keep republic together, sure, whatever. Yoda is fine. Samuel L is bad (must be the directing...). Palpatine scheming is just sort of Meh. 

Obiwan and Anakin. 8. Not too bad, to be honest. Ewan does well, he’s turning up his “Alec Guinness” knobs quite well. 

Jarjar / Padme, re-meet Anakin. 7. Damn, Amidala friendzones Anakin immediately. Anakin less good in this scene vs. with Obiwan. But the tension here actually makes sense.  I wrote, “I’m OK with it.” Jarjar, man. Boo. 

Worm assassination attempt, city chase. 6. This was supposed to be a big sexy setpiece and I was not loving it. Pretty imagery - very bladerunner - but Anakin’s “not another lecture” and subsequent arrogance during the chase scene means I really can’t understand how the Jedi didn’t see this coming. He’s a total prick. On top of that, one basejump from a speeder down 500 feet to another moving speeder *might* have been excusable, but two? And Obiwan catching a lightsaber out of nowhere? Plus, we get bad alien cutscenes. They go to a bar and there’s robot football on in the background, and that’s just a SMH / facepalm type stupid easter egg. Wasn’t into the cigarettes / “death sticks” line that much either. Anakin as a detective is a “meh.” Just... lots of falling flat going on here. 

Jedi Council and Palpatine. 8. Obiwan tracks down the bountyhunter-assassin and Anakin gets to guard the Senator. So, I actually think this is starting to set up Anakin’s turn pretty well. Palpatine is subtly sowing confusion, discord in Anakin’s mind. The council shows serious flaws in trying to spy on Palpatine via Anakin. Palpatine can appeal to Anakin’s ego. Again, the Jedi really were pretty stupid, which I guess we just have to believe (and call-forward to Episode 8, Luke’s POV). 

Jarjar becomes senator. 3. Copy-pasting my notes: “bad. why is anakin monologuing? padme is just sitting there. anakin temper tantruming for no reason. anakin a little rapey.”

Refugees. 3. I skipped over this scene accidentally and that would have been appropriate. Anakin and Padme stilted banter is bad. “At least we have R2! ha, ha, ha!” Good music (as always, JW). 

Diner. 5. Obiwan goes to see an “old friend.” They give a big alien a mustache and have him talk like a Chicago line cook. Gimme a big “meh!” Gotta go to the outer rim to meet some cloners. hurray. 

Library. 7. Jedi archivist arrogance. The mystery deepens - no system is there where the cloners are supposed to be! zomg. But this is all fine, and almost decent with deepening the mystery. 

Padme and Anakin refugee dinner. 7. Kind of as painful as watching someone’s first date at a bar while waiting for a friend. “Attachment is forbidden but we’re encouraged to love unconditionally” and a bunch of other hoke. Anakin is persistent. Still, not a bad scene. 

Jedi training w/ Yoda. 7. A little hokey how Yoda asks the padawan kids to guess at why there’s no system in the archives. A bad yoda chin scratch. A little hokey, but good. 

Back on Naboo. 4. Good music. Dialogue between Anakin and Padme continues to be pretty rough. “Keep our faith in the republic.” More politics. Lake country. Anakin and Padme tension is dumb. 

Camino. 7. Bad name, cool scene. Good mystery unfolding... why is Obi-Wan expected? What are all these soldiers doing here, who ordered them, what’s going on? Kind of clunky revealing dialogue and the CGI is a bit out of hand but also decently cool. I wrote: “I’m OK with the secret army storyline.” 

Lake country on Naboo. 2-6.  Padme is smoking hot. Beautiful scenes here, but then we get this gem: "I don't like sand. it's coarse, rough, irritating... gets everywhere. Here, everything's soft and smooth." Anakin is such a douche. Padme lets him kiss her, but why? Not sure i'm buying this shit. Love song (Across the Stars) is amazing. Beautiful waterfall. But then they dissect their first kiss. mehhhhh. Let's talk politics at a picnic? No. "Make people agree." Anakin is authoritarian and sort of evil. How could she fall in love with this dude? Then he surfs a cow. No. Now they’re rolling around in the grass. No. No thanks.

Django and Boba on Camino. 8. One of the better and subtler scenes maybe in the whole series for acting. Obi-wan and Django do a great job of dancing around each other verbally while sizing each other up. 

Anakin-Padme Dinner / Wooing. 3. God, I wish I didn’t have so much to say about this tripe, but I do. I guess i'm fine with wooing Padme with Jedi tricks... But I still don't really buy the love story. And now we get lines like: "I'm in agony. the closer I get the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you." Suuuuuper creepy. “Haunted by the kiss you should have never given me.” “You are in my very soul tormenting me.” Honestly! This is like The Room. "THEN YOU DO FEEL SOMETHING!!!" Just a bad scene overall. Now Anakin is getting nightmares. "Your presence is soothing." Meh. Natalie Portman - did I mention she’s smoking hot? Anakin's mother is suffering in his nightmares, so he’s leaving to help her. Padme will go with him!? what the fuck. Bad lines too. Also callback to Luke leaving to help Han and Leia... I don’t know. Bad.

“Collect call.” 7. I believe this is the scene where Obi-Wan calls back to the council and Yoda or Samuel L. says their powers are diminished for not being able to see the creation of this clone army. Decent plotline, OK. 

Django Fett vs. Obi-wan fight. 6. Decent. Too much ledge-hanging and Jedi are too super-duper-heroey. Tracking Django is fine but looked hokey. 

Tatooine. 4. A fancy ship lands at Mos Eisley... man, they’re really going back to this well a lot. We see the stupid slave owner bug guy again and long story short, Anakin’s mom has been taken by the Tuskan Raiders. Time to kill some things. 

Obi-wan tracks Django. 6. Asteroid field again. Depth charges again. Supposed to be a good action setpiece but I’m distracted because there’s not supposed to be any cool noises in space. Fine with Obi-wan faking his death to avoid Django. Very pretty scenery and Obi-wan sneaks around some. Whatever. 

Anakin on the mother hunt. 1-7. Clever shadow of Anakin-as-Darth on the side of the building. Back to good music from Ep1. Finds his mom, and we’re back to bad dialogue. “Ani? Ani? Ani? Ani?” ... should feel something here, and don’t. The actor chemistry is just so bad, and I blame George. Still, Anakin going HAM is a good slip to the dark side. Hebrings his mom back dead, and proceeds to monologue shittily to Padme. "Life seems so much simpler when you're fixing things. I'm good at fixing things.” Awful. “Why'd she have to die? Why couldn't i save her? I know I could have?” what the FUCK. Terrrrrrrrrible. "I killed them. I killed them all." "I'm a jedi, I know I'm better than this." OK, finally at the very end as he breaks down, some sort of decent turn in this scene.

Count Dooku. 4. Jesus, how long is this movie? We get a random weirdo trying to create a new treaty with the trade federation to oppose the Republic. TWIST! This is what the rebellion does, but they’re somehow good! Sigh. 

Yoda and Windu. 4. “Pain, suffering. Young Skywalker is in pain.” Whatever. 

Funeral, message. 4. Here’s what I wrote and I remember none of this: “Clete is fine. Not really buying the whole anakin thing with mom. anakin stay where you are and protect the senator! padme is a mess too.”

Senator scheming. 5. So blatant. Sometimes this plotline is really well done and sometimes is sucks. Could have given this a 3-5. 

Dooku and Obi-wan. 7. OK, we have an exposition-y scene where Dooku tries to recruit Obi-wan to his side. This scene saved by two very good actors giving a good performance. 

Jar Jar in Senate. 2. The worst thing the franchise ever did gets to deliver the vote that gives Chancellor supreme powers. Jar Jar is a f***in’ tw*t. And Chancellor creates the Grand Army of the Republic. 

Padme and Anakin on planet. 1.  Oh, right. Anakin was going to go find Obi-wan or some shit. Padme saving the day with her senate powers! mehhhhhh. C3PO and R2 engage in dumb banter, but not as bad as jarjar. We’re now on some kind of shop floor ... that’s a No. Padme is now running through stampers. No. Bad. Dumb. No. Anakin also dumb. No. bad. My reviewing devolves into 2-year-old level angry language. We see machines making machines. C3PO hangs off a ledge. R2 flies around... come on. Wow, this is so bad. Padme falls into a fucking steel boiler. NO. NO NO NO. Anakin’s lightsaber is cut in half and we get a terrible "Obi-wan's gonna kill me." BOOOOO. And now droids and the fucking bountyhunter show up. God, that was worthless. 

Padme and Anakin pre-Gladiator. 2.  Anakin gets to deliver this gem: “I’ve been dying each day since you came back into my life. I love you.” I don't feel this makes any sense. Except I guess it’s clear now, as i said at the beginning of the review, that Padme kinda sucks. “I truly deeply love you.” Why?

Gladiator Death Battle. 1. HOW LONG IS THIS MOVIE? Also: GOD, THIS IS HORRIBLE. The only good part is Obi-wan with some sarcasm, otherwise we have unnecessary zerg monsters and midriff-revealing claw slashes and general dumb gladiatorial action. The “bad feeling” line was terrible, worst of the series. And where did Padme get her fucking keys? 

Jedi save the day. 3. The Jedi look very hokey and stupid, to be honest, and they don’t look like very good fighters at the end of the day. Scores 3 for light sabers but otherwise it’s a 1 or 2 scene. What’s the end game here? Get surrounded and killed? Django vs. Mace Windu who cares. We get terrible Anakin and Padme cheesing, terrible C3PO humor, bad Jedi vs. Droids action, just all around shit. 

Clones save the day. 5.  Yoda arrives with clones to save the day. At least the plotline is somewhat nuanced - who is fighting who, who is good and who is not. This ambiguity is good. But nobody wanted to kill Dooku until he was already escaped? Sort of mediocre action. Soundtrack just sounds like the matrix. Why is yoda so into the fighting? He’s trying to protect the Republic, which he knows is eroded. The jedi sure fucked up.

Death Star Plans? 5. So having seen Rogue One, this doesn’t make any sense at all (continuity errors!) ... but the DS was actually a design from the Trade Federation, apparently? Not into this. George Lucas sucks and Dooku sucks. 

Dooku Chase. 7. God, I can’t wait for this to be over (the movie and the review). Padme falls out of the transport - OK. Obi-wan and Anakin argue and it’s good. Finally some good acting out of this guy. 

Dooku fight. 7-9. Notwithstanding that Dooku seems like a very unnecessary character, this climax is decent. Anakin’s an idiot apparently, and force lightning is apparently a big sith weapon. OK light saber fighting until double-lightsaber fighting, at which point it’s hard to follow the action. George is too busy focusing in on faces. And Yoda shows up. Huzzah. Fun to watch him with the light saber, maybe a bit too much spining around and Yoda ParkourTM, but why is he shouting? Aren’t Jedi supposed to stay calm? What happened to the Quigon meditation approach? Dooku esacpes. bleh. 

Dooku Sidious meeting. 8. It’s all going to plan, yes, yes. Who the fk is Lord Tyranus? Very good music. War has begun, cool. All to Sidious’s plan, no surprise. 

Yoda and Windu. 7.  "Victory you say? Not victory. The shroud of the dark side has fallen. Begun the clone war has." Meh. 

Clone Deploy. 9. The visuals of Star Destroyers lifting off and a huge army deploying is pretty cool. This is the highlight of this movie, which is sad. 

Secret Marriage on Naboo. 7. Very pretty shot, no dialogue is good, anakin has a fake arm, bad kissing. definitely not an “8″. 

Credits. 6. The tone of the ending music (traditional theme) is too upbeat. Should have taken a page (pre-emptively) from Rogue One’s book and used a quiet, somber theme. Gets there after a minute or so. Bleh. So glad this is over. 

VERDICT

Not memorable, not unique, and basically a handful of scenes could have done the job here instead of what felt like 5 hours of filler. Happy to forget this movie ever happened. It grades out on the histogram as mostly 7′s and an even distribution around 4 or 5, but really, the 7′s were often due to boredom or “meh” type scores. Very flat movie in experience, with only downside and very little upside. 

REVIEW LINKS:

Introduction: Star Wars, a rediscovery.

Rogue One: 6.92 / 10.00 (stdev 2.06).

Episode 4: A New Hope. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.34).

Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back. 8.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.29).

Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. 5.00 / 10.00 (stdev 2.08). But probably worse than that, actually.

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. 5.48 / 10.00 (stdev 2.07).

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith. 7.00 / 10.00 (stdev 1.77).

Episode 6: Return of the Jedi. 7.90 / 10.00 (stdev 1.91).

Episode 7: The Force Awakens. 6.57 / 10.00 (stdev 2.01).

Episode 8: The Last Jedi. 6.31 / 10.00 (stdev 1.89).

Verdict: Star Wars, A rediscovery.