#and like. hitori also claimed to understand him

[fuzzbuns]

When nageki found the little king in the light house and pointed out that he was alone 😂😂😂 Moa cant keep getting away with this

[mtdthoughts]

Our Hearts Are One Pt. 4 (Migi & Dali Analysis)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

As always, spoilers for the whole story are discussed.

In the previous part, I began to retell the story with the twins' unity and connectedness in mind. I mentioned that the twins were pretty much the same in the beginning stages of their lives, but due to Metry's death, Dali began drifting away from Migi, becoming dark, cynical, and obsessed with revenge, while Migi tried his best to keep up with Dali. Eventually, the twins separated due to their differences and a lack of understanding of each other, but due to the events of Episode 9, the twins were able to open up to each other, revealing their feelings and love towards each other. They realized that despite their differences, they were the same at heart and so were able to reunite as they sought to reclaim their happiness together.

In this post, I will finish the discussion and go over possible messages or themes from this.

After Episode 9, the twins began their quest to bring down Reiko, and throughout this arc they've displayed that they've truly reunited through their synchrony.

Thanks to them and their allies, Reiko met her downfall and the twins were able to return to the Sonoyama house just as they wanted.

However, Dali (very likely) became burdened by guilt over the consequences of his revenge after what happened to Eiji, as he forced himself into Migi's shadow.

Once again, Dali was drifting away from Migi and into a difficult path of denying his own happiness, and the fact that Dali's scar permanently set him apart physically from Migi symbolizes this development. Thus, he continued the Hitori persona, the symbol of false unity between the twins.

It almost seemed like a continuation of the same pattern of before, but this time, Migi was now aware of Dali's loneliness and his weaknesses, and ultimately recognized the vast differences between them that could not be ignored or erased. Though he wanted for himself and Dali to live as themselves, he still deferred to Dali and struggled to understand what Dali was thinking.

Nonetheless, Migi seemed to know that Dali was unhappy and was able to come up with the right answer to get Dali to accept himself as well as his own happiness. By telling him that their happiness came from each other, Migi reminded Dali that despite their differences, they were still and always would be of one heart, sharing the same emotions and love toward each other.

Indeed, Dali didn't truly want to remain in solitude and in the shadows, and instead really did share Migi's desire in living happily as themselves. In this moment, Dali realized that just as his joy would be Migi's joy, his suffering would also be Migi's suffering, and so through this unique bond and Dali's love for Migi, Dali was able to gather the strength to move on past his guilt and abandon the dark road he was putting himself through. Finally, the twins were now completely reunited as they both claimed their new happy lives together on Christmas Day (i.e. their true Christmas presents).

Through the timeskip, the twins have indeed diverged from each other even further as Migi said earlier in the episode, yet they were still the same at heart, as evidenced by the synchrony they still displayed.

At the very end, the twins were once again presented with another test, just like many times before in the story. While Migi would stay behind with his family and friends to pursue creative passions, Dali would leave behind his family and friends to attend a faraway school.

Once again, Dali was leaving to pursue a more difficult path, but unlike before, the twins were no longer bound by the insecurities they had in their younger days. They've grown and matured from their weaker selves, and the special bond they shared has strengthened, as they were now confident that their love for each other would never change. No longer does Migi have to worry about chasing after Dali, and no longer does Dali have to worry about leaving Migi behind, because they would always remain together at heart.

Through their journey together, the twins were able to overcome the many challenges presented throughout their childhood, whether it was revenge, codependency, loneliness, etc. In particular, it was because they were able to open up to each other and unite as one that they were able to overcome these challenges, as individually they (particularly Dali) could not do it alone. Thus, this highlights the importance of communication and opening up to others, even between identical twin brothers that have lived together all their lives, as one may not know what others are thinking or any hardships they are going through. This also highlights the importance of treasuring those that aren't like-minded but like-hearted, as they can help bring new perspectives and ideas and can help one overcome their own weaknesses (like with Migi and Dali). Finally, by comparing the twins at the beginning versus the end of the story, it can be seen that what truly unites people isn't a shared identity, mind, or personality, but rather love and empathy, which can help overcome any obstacle or struggle as well as change people for the better.

Note: At the time of writing this, it's already been a month since the final episode aired. I can't believe how fast time flies! I still dearly miss this anime/manga, and I only wish more could be added to the story. Admittedly, I am running a bit low on things to write about, but on the bright side I suppose this means I'm probably almost done with what I originally set out to do with this blog!

[akumageist]

I would die for Hitori Uzune. RIP to Kazuaki, but I’m different.

The Hatoful fandom consists of 13 people and a paperclip. It always has. Unfortunately, it probably always will. Where this is cause for some perks, it’s also some of its faults. In example, it’s still an anime game, made by a Japanese woman, and attracts weebs. Weebs tend to like to think of characters 2-Dimensionally, breaking the character down to what they think is their core personality traits. Hitori is no stranger to this, and is beaten down into this heartless, manipulative, selfish bastard. But I believe Moa is saying “anyone, even the best of us, is capable of becoming a monster if driven to it.” Let’s roll.

2162. Hitori was born into a world of war and hate, plopped into an orphanage at just 2 years old. This can be found in Moa’s canon spin-off manga, where Hitori at about ten years old is caring for the other war orphans along with the other older birds. Luckily for him, he was a genius. He was able to go out and get jobs tutoring birds and support his rag-tag family at his young age.

With that, we know Hitori was not originally cold and heartless, despite how the world may have birthed him. Especially when Nageki arrived frail and sickly. Hitori and the other birds were happy to put in overtime in an attempt to pay for the poor dove’s medications, even in his protest.

Then, 2180 happened. Imagine what sort of toll that would take on Hitori. he was absent. He was at work, unaware of the jeopardy that befell his family. What kind of horrible, mind-rattling survivors guilt must rack this bird’s brain, knowing he wasn’t there as his family was massacred one by one?

“What did we do? We had nothing. Our parents and homes had already been stolen by the humans. All we had left were each other.”

We can gather from this same scene Hitori blames himself for not being there. For not being able to protect his family, or even Nageki. Even though had he been there, he would have died alongside everybirdie else, and left Nageki to succumb to his illness alone. Something of this magnitude would create anxieties and trauma unfathomable to those who did not deal with it.

In Hitori, this manifested as full-blown helicopter mom. He can’t help but think of every little nit-pick detail over Nageki, terrified one feather out of place will kill him. The fandom is good about this side of his character! And of course, so is Moa. This may be the Summer Vacation Drama CD: Hitori The Worrywart (which takes place in MIRROR AU), but I love it’s portrayal of the anxious quail.

Hitori continued to care and ache over Nageki’s declining health. He was desperate. Begging doctors, even though deep in his little quail brain he knew Nageki was a lost cause, and that he was dying. But he couldn’t think of a life without Nageki, and did all in his power to try and keep the bird as well as he could. We can see a great example of this love in words you might not think of.

“How about this? From now on, ‘I’m fine’ is not allowed.”

I’ve always imagined Hitori getting mildly heated at Nageki in this conversation.The quail is on his last strands of stability, and the dove he cares endlessly for is trying to hide the very thing he ails himself over. The genuinity in his words shines through- telling Nageki he’d rather hear he’s bad and hurting.

So, in this desperation, Hitori carted Nageki off to some strange doctor in some strange prestigious school. And how couldn’t he? A doctor who claimed to know of the virus eating away at Nageki’s life, and how to cure it. Hitori’s beacon of hope in a sea of darkness. The only bird in the entire universe he had left to love, the one he had arguably always favored and adored, was dying. He would do anything in his power to keep the one thing he loved alive, no matter the irrationality or cost. No matter the very dying bird’s own lips saying “I… don’t want to go.”

Whether or not you ship these birds, I firmly believe Hitori is in love with Nageki in a romantic sense.

“I can no longer love another creature // I think we meant more to each other than anybirdie else in the world... // The love I felt soured into resentment // I should remember the beautiful face I knew, not… a photo covered in scribbles”

Not to mention admitting he can’t bear to live without the dove in BBL. And, in his route, Hiyoko goes as far as to refer to this bird as a female, which means he’s speaking so fondly she’s assuming it was a lover, and therefore a woman. Hitori’s stopped any sort of love at the idea he can only love Nageki post-mortem. That is canon. And well… that’s not very brotherly, no matter how good of a relationship you may have with your sibling (I speak from experience).

Okay, okay, this persuasive essay is NOT for convincing you of this ship, that is another essay for another time. I’ve only mentioned this opinion because I need you to understand his irrationality for the one thing he has left, and the fragility of it. And why it might drive anybirdie to… Hitori-level madness. Moving on.

2183. A mere 3 years after Hitori had lost the majority of his family to human terrorists. Nageki sends a coded letter, and… we can see Hitori’s anxieties outright.

“It’s happening again. Nageki needs me, and I’m not there.”

This is… a very powerful line in the game. We’re seeing just how vulnerable Hitori truly is. This is a traumatized individual in a panic attack- realizing the love of his goddamn life is once again faced with something horrible, and Hitori is once again absent from the scene.

And just like that, he’s gone.

The only thing. The only one Hitori had left in life to love. To live for. Taken from him without so much as a second chance. This is painful to write. This part of Hatoful is, without a doubt, the most agonizing. I know how it is to lose something so dear and feel as though maybe it’s not worth going on without them.

This is the peak of Moa’s tragedy writing ability (and yes, I’m including Holiday Star). But this is my point, is it not? Though his kanji may be “sun bird”, the actual word for his name “Hitori” quite literally means one, alone, solitary. He is now all alone in the universe, no family left. How can anybirdie even remotely remain in charge of their faculties (as Sakuya would put it) by now? You wouldn’t.

Hitori is now a husk of his former self. Anything he’s ever cared for is gone, he has nothing left to live for. He goes- my favorite coined term for him- absolutely batshit. He gets what we call “trauma-induced psychosis”, and begins to hallucinate very vividly, a form that he refers to as “Nageki”. We all know him of course, as Shadow. Shadow, from the little information we’re able to gather from BBL, is tormenting Hitori ruthlessly.

Shadow is easily misunderstood, because Moa made him fathomable, so the reader was able to understand exactly what was happening. What had become of Hitori Uzune. Shadow in all his simplicity- is Hitori. It is an introjection of Nageki, manifested to validate Hitori in his self-hatred. Don’t you get it? He hates himself just as much as you hate him!

Anything Hitori thinks of himself, Shadow is there to back up. He’s taunting him day in and day out, reminding him that he killed Nageki, and every ounce of Nageki’s suffering life was the fruit of Hitori’s inability to protect him. But again, it’s his own brain, telling him exactly what he wants to hear. What he truly believes. Telling himself what he’s done, and how he deserves this. ...And to seek revenge.

Hitori lost his mind. He had nothing else to lose, after all. He became obsessed with Nageki even moreso than he was in life, because there was no level-headed dove to calm him and tell him to stop worrying so much, or keep him at least reasonably held together by simply being there.

He listened to his psychosis, and when he made a friend (Moa gives evidence Hitori and Kazuaki were friends prior to Hitori’s ill-intentions), his psychosis got in the way of that, too. As he travelled down this relationship (which Moa herself says is pretty much romantic), we can assume he realized just how unable to love he was. He had Kazuaki around because, let’s face it. He wanted someone like Nageki who was incompetent so he could nurture and care for them. And for a while, it worked. But it didn’t. Hitori didn’t love Kazuaki. He couldn’t. He was too busy looking for Nageki.

So, you’re reading this in english. You speak english. At least a little, right? So maybe you played the english (and localized) version of the game. Well then you may not know the following. Please pay attention! This gets a bit rocky, and a bit more “Hitori...!”.

In the English version, Hitori disguised as Kazuaki is “tired”. In the Japanese version, he’s “sleepy” or “dreamy”. I’d describe him as ditsy, for sure. He kind of acts like an airhead who knows absolutely nothing, and his students don’t take him seriously. In the Hatomame Sweet Blend Drama CD, there is a track that follows Kazuaki on a little adventure of his narcolepsy, and going to Shuu for help.

In and out of comatose, Hitori, as himself, is there in his dreams as a separate bird.

“This bird with a face I had never seen spoke to me in a voice I had never heard, and this is what he said.”

“Nanaki-sensei” is clearly denying his own identity.

“I’ll sleep, just a little, and then leave… good… night…”

“But sleeping is my job… You still have a little longer. Tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that…”

This is dream Hitori telling himself that he has to continue his alias until his revenge is fulfilled. The quail that was once Hitori must remain dormant until he is reunited with Nageki again, and can be happy again. As a metaphor for depression… don’t you feel like you’re a shell of your former self?

So, going off this information… I believe Hitori has repressed himself. This is due to my own knowledge on psychology but-- Hitori doesn’t want to be Hitori anymore. It’s too hard. Hitori the war orphan. Hitori the lone survivor. Hitori the murderer and identity thief. It’s him not wanting to deal with his trauma in a healthy way, and instead locking it up and becoming somebirdie new and undamaged.

He killed Hitori.

This falls into the other delusion- that Nageki is somehow not completely dead and gone and ash- but still trapped, somehow, somewhere, and Hitori needs to find and get him. To kill Isa and the researchers who “killed” Nageki, and bring “Nageki” home. Whatever he believes Nageki is. In BBL, we see this quite literally varies! He tried to cut Ryouta open and steal his liver!

“Sir, Nageki would have never wanted this…!”

There is no difference between a serial killer and someone in a court room screaming for the serial killer to be murdered in turn. That mourning mother is then one in the same with that killer, is she not? She sees him, and wants him to die. She wants him to die and suffer. She believes that will bring her a sense of justice. Even though she knows it will not return her son to her. Hitori, is that mourning mother. He sees Isa, and all he can see is the man who murdered his dove.

I know the biggest aspect as to why the fandom hates Hitori is the sole factor that Kazuaki is #relatable. He’s a depressed college student who thinks he’s better off dead. Then, Hitori tricks him. But you’re not reading Kazuaki right. It’s okay, he’s easy to misread from Holiday Star’s plotline. 

Holiday Star was written with Kazuaki as the villain, do you forget? A grey villain as well, but a villain nonetheless. He told his tragic sob story death in such a way, you can’t help but to cry. He’s the victim! I’m not saying he’s not. But he was written specifically to be pitied in Holiday Star, and as you continue on, you begin to see he’s actually just anti-self help. He doesn’t want to face his fears. He doesn’t want to leave his safe egg and take the risk he should have.

Kazuaki is meant to be pitied, yes,  but just on the brink of annoying with his helplessness and self-deprecation. He’s, forgive me, a “sad sack of shit” who does nothing to help himself. Don’t come after me for being “ableist” or whatever- Moa literally wrote him this way.

This is also depicted in “Kazuaki-kun’s Book”. Now, this book takes place in the MIRROR AU, but it tells of how Kazuaki met Hitori. Moa starts the manga off by explaining Kazuaki had a great chickhood, a healthy life, and an easy, happy time. But then, he flunked his college exams and didn’t even get into his safety school. He lazed around, grew depressed, and let his apartment rot. He played video games until his online friends got jobs, and wasted any money he had on them as well. The only thing that scared him out of it is when his next door neighbor was found dead, having rotted into his own futon.

So imagine Hitori, who has worked so hard and lost everything he had done so for. Tirelessly, through his horrible, fucked up existence. Nageki, who had his short and miserable life robbed from him, had to die. Had to kill himself. And this random quail has the audacity to bitch and moan, thinking he’s got it bad? He’s a waste of space that could have been filled with Nageki. This is what Hitori’s brain is thinking. Hitori’s only ~20 years old when Nageki dies, after all.

I’m not saying this is cause for murder and identity theft. Don’t you dare misread me on this. But as I’ve stated prior- Hitori’s completely lost it.  But you ship him with the chukar that literally ruined his life. Hitori’s a grey villain but holy fuck why would you want him to fuck the partridge that tortured and drove his only loved one to suicide?

It was wrong to trick Kazuaki. It was wrong to insult him as he died. It was wrong to steal his identity. That’s obvious and a given. But you all seem to look at that factoid alone, chalking it up to ‘preying on a poor mentally ill man” but not taking into consideration Hitori is mentally ill himself. ...Just not #relatable enough for you.

Hitori is suicidal as well. He’s been suicidal presumably since Nageki died. Don’t you dare say Hitori isn’t at least a little in the same boat. I don’t care if he’s not as soft and uwu and cuddly as Kazuaki. Mental illness is not rainbows and butterflies and emo hair (though Kazuaki is not portrayed this way).

Holiday star bears all the answers. I raise you important points, so pay close attention. The first key component is Hitori, found upside down in the pudding. He’s crying. Why is he crying? Because he’s lost his name? Oh, but think deeper.

“I’m Nemo”.

“Nemo” is latin for nothing, and his name translates to “nothing” in every language of HoliStar. The King has vomited him up in his kingdom, and robbed him back of what he stole from him. His identity.

But it goes even deeper than that.

“I’ve lost something, and so, I think I might cry.”

From this phrase alone, it’s painful to play this game. Nageki is right in front of his beak. But what did he do? He ate his own eyes. Hitori, in his refusal to identify with himself, has robbed himself of quite literally seeing the very bird he adores and sought after. Then, he is renamed his own identity by that bird (the only identity he accepts). How surreally real.

The second key component is when everybirdie is being rescued, but Leone warns Yuuya the quail is clearly falling more rapidly into a coma, and may not be able to awake. Why is this? Because Hitori wants to die. He’s fine with it, and Kazuaki is more than happy to keep him. When Yuuya finds him, Hitori is not at all alarmed as he should be. He seems passive, and simply wants to fall back to sleep. He’s to the point of trying to strangle Yuuya in attempt to let himself fall into eternal slumber (even if he thinks Yuuya is… Kazuaki..?).

Heed these next words carefully. When Yuuya asks if The King did something to him, Hitori replies-

“...No, all The King did was close the door.”

I am a firm believer this is Hitori indirectly saying “Kazuaki did nothing wrong, and I do not resent him for hating me.” Especially since Hitori shows signs of knowing it’s Kazuaki, and repenting.

“He said I need to be punished. Apparently I did something bad… and I think I know what it was.”

This is confirmed in my next point, so bear with me.

Hitori, in this same conversation, is admitting he wants to die. The only thing that stops him- as morbid as it may be, is remembering this takes place before the events of BBL. He hasn’t fulfilled what he believes is his “something I need to do”. Which is seek revenge, and bring Nageki home, as per Shadow’s orders.

Lastly, at the bitter end of Holiday Star when everybirdie is plummeting through the air from the false star, Hitori is still blind and confused. Suddenly, The King erupts from behind Hitori, and appears to be talking to him.

--

“Oh, is that right?”

--

“...I know, I know. ...but it’s still too soon. That’s right, I’ll be along soon. I’ll catch up with you. Someday…”

This is arguably my most prominent point in the entire essay. This is Hitori, admitting not only does he still plan to kill himself, but that he intends to keep his promise and reunite with Kazuaki in the afterlife. These are not the words of a heartless quail. These are the words of somebirdie who knows they’ve taken advantage of a friend, but is continuing to do their best to keep their promises and make amends. This is Hitori telling Kazuaki he still cares for him.

Hitori is the result of trauma and hardship beyond compare, and his inability to cope. He is not meant to be hated. He is meant to have shock value, yes. What he has done his disgusting, but you want to love him. Because he raised the sweetest bird in the entire game who would rather kill himself than hurt others.

Grey-villains are difficult, and because you can’t love them for being purely evil, you end up hating them for being a good person who’s done bad things. Hitori is a cracked window. Not quite shattered, but no longer whole, with a faulty image. Hitori is not just some heartless, manipulative, selfish bastard. He’s quite literally a bird with a broken wing (or entire ribcage more like), trying to… well, Live, and be happy.

[frootsboosket]

Could you make a hitori with a s/o who is really good friends with ayame,he actually set the two of them up together after Kana's wedding.

(Surprise we're not dead!! So sorry for the inactivity, Admin J and I are both v busy fighting the horrors of everyday life, thank you for being patient with us!!)

(Also, this definitely turned into more of a "how you met" story, sorry lol, hope you like it!)

Feels Good to Try (Hatori x Reader)

I tried to keep the reader as gender neutral as possible, but if I slipped up somewhere I'm super sorry!!

***

Hatori sighed, he should've expected Ayame would try to pull something like this, it was in his nature to stick his nose in places it doesn't belong in order to try and make people happy.

"Y/N is an angel," Ayame claimed, "smart, attractive...And single!" Ayame's eyes flickered over to you, who sat on the other side of the room talking with some friends, Hatori followed his gaze, his eyes fixated on the permanent smile on your face, what Ayame said was true, you were undoubtedly beautiful, if he were out of his mind he would try to work up the courage to talk to you, but he wasn't nearly that stupid.

However...Ayame was.

"Oh Y/N!" Ayame sang to catch your attention, you quickly excused yourself from you friends and practically skipped over to greet him.

"Hi!" You greeted. The sound of your cheerful voice caused Hatoris toes to curl, it reminded him so much of...Her. Kana.

"I wanted to introduce you to Hatori" Ayame said, and instantly Hatori wished he were somewhere else, leave it up to Ayame to do something like this right after Kanas wedding. Hatori avoided eye contact with you as you turned to face him, hoping his coldness would turn you away from ever wanting to speak to him.

No..You still spoke.

"It's nice to meet you, Hatori, I'm Y/N."

Hatori squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't do this...Not again. He would only restart the cycle of emotional torment, he couldn't go through this.

"You'll have to excuse me" Hatori said, stepping away from you and Ayame. He didn't know where he was going, but he couldn't stay here, maybe he'll go back home? No, going home sounded miserable, maybe he'll go to a cafe or park and just sit for a while...Think about nothing for a while, pretend nothing happened, pretend he didn't exist.

Meanwhile you stood in awe watching Hatori walk away, had you done something wrong?

Ayame sighed and brushed a hand through his hair, "forgive him," he said, "he's...Going through a tough time right now."

"Does it really warrant his attitude though?"

Ayame laughed and places a hand on your shoulder, "it does. It'll get better with time, for sure, but for now...We should allow him his space."

***

A few months had gone by since Kanas wedding, and finally Hatori started feeling a bit better, it still pained him to think about Kana, but he was in a place where he was able to step into his office and not think about her, which made work a lot easier.

Though with it came the realization of how he was treating people over the past couple of months, he was incredibly rude to everyone, his family, people on the street, and god forbid that one time he outright walked away from a conversation with Ayame, who was just trying to make life a little easier for him. Sure, it was stupid, but it was just as stupid for him to walk away without so much as a smile.

Ayame was shocked to hear from Hatori asking him for your number. "Oho? So you changed your mind about them?"

"Only because I want to apologize for how acted around them, nothing more."

Ayame raised an eyebrow and typed your number into his phone. Hatori scoffed, "stop romanticizing this."

Suddenly Ayame became serious, he placed a hand on Hatori's shoulder, making hard eye contact with him. Hatoris cold gaze shot daggers through Ayames heart, "you're like a corpse.." Ayame whispered, "and I don't know how else to help you other than give you something to smile about. This is the only way I know how to help." Ayames voice sounded uncharacteristically calm, his bright eyes suddenly dull and sad. Hatori casted his gaze downwards, "I don't want to go through this again."

Ayame nodded, "I know. But please...Give Y/N a chance. I mean it when I said they're an angel."

Hatori sighed, there was really no getting around Ayame after he made up his mind, he was adamant about making Hatoris life easier, it was very kind of him, but he just didn't know if he had it in him to try again with someone different. He didnt want to put you through that.

***

"Hello?"

"Y/N? This is Hatori Sohma."

You were shocked to hear Hatoris voice, you knew he had your number since Ayame told you, but you didn't imagine he'd actually call you. "Hello Hatori" you said slowly, not entirely sure how to go about speaking to him.

"Y/N...I wanted to apologize for my behavior last time we met. I was having a tough day."

Hatori spoke like you were colleagues, he didnt sound friendly but his voice was very quiet, polite, you could tell he genuinely felt bad for what he did.

"It's okay" you responded, and you heard Hatori let out a breath he had been holding in. You then sat on the phone in an uncomfortable silence for what felt like hours though you knew it had only been a few seconds at most, eventually you found the courage to break the silence.

"How're you feeling?" You asked, Hatori blinked, for a moment he forgot he was still on a call with you, "what?" He responded, your words hadn't fully registered in his mind, and you couldn't help but giggle, causing Hatori to ease up a little bit.

"I asked how you were feeling," you repeated, "you said you were having a tough day, were you sick?"

"Oh, no, I just..."

Hatori bit his tongue, here he was about to unload his feelings onto someone he hardly knew, it was pathetic, he should be over it by now, it had been nearly a two months after Kanas wedding, it shouldn't hurt anymore.

Right?

"I was having an off-day" Hatori finally concluded, though he wasn't entirely satisfied with his excuse for why he acted the way he did.

"I understand,we all have days like that" you said, Hatori could practically hear your smile through the phone, it was hard not to smile along with you. How long had it been since Hatori cracked a smile? Days? Months? A year? Since the incident occurred Hatori couldn't recall the last time he had cracked a genuine smile.

"Thank you for understanding," Hatori purred, his voice still as stoic as it was when he had first called you, "and if there's anything I could do to make it up to you, let me know."

Hatori had said this mostly out of respect, just a formality to drive home his initial apology, though he certainly wasn't expecting when you paused in thought to think about what he could offer you, his head started spinning with all the possible things you could ask of him.

"I've been trying to find someone to go with me to that new cafe that just opened, wanna come? It would just be the two of us.."

Hatori sucked in his air and dug his heels into the carpet, feeling tense as he tried to engineer a way to kindly say no...When suddenly he was reminded of Ayame, he would be so disappointed if he found out he had so no to you, God forbid you go crying to Ayame after this call.

"Sure..." he said, though there wasn't much enthusiasm in his voice.

You smiled and felt a bit of heat rise to your cheeks, "it's a date then!"

Once you had hung up, Hatori placed his phone on his desk and buried his face in his palms. "Shit..." he whispered, he wasn't usually one to swear, but it felt appropriate this time.

Because thinking about going to that cafe, that "date" as you so confidently titled it, thinking about it gave him a familiar warm feeling tightening in his abdomen, like fire had been set in his belly.

He was excited.

Hatori tugged at his hair, he couldn't do it, he couldn't go through it again, he couldn't make another person go through that...

He just couldn't.

But

Damn, wouldn't it feel good to try?

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Astra 4 - 6 | Demon Slayer 17 - 19 | Cop Craft 4 - 6 | Dr Stone 3 - 6 | Fruits Basket 15 - 19 | Given 3 - 5

Astra 4

How does anyone wash their hands with a spacesuit on?

Those exaggerated faces (reaction to candy plants) weren’t in the manga. Good thing too – they improve on the source.

Hey, man (Ulgar)! “Big girl” is offensive. (I’m probably saying that because I’m not too big myself.)

The *ding ding ding!* was pretty hilarious…LOL.

I remember this was pretty harsh to read for me the first time…because y’know what they say about representation mattering in feminist studies/articles? Yeah, that. (Exactly how I’m represented? That I’ll leave to your imagination…)

Aw, the Gruppie sounds adorable!

I think I’ve said this already, but Kanata uses the word “zetsubou” – despair, not necessarily “hopeless” – to say what he says.

Demon Slayer 17

I was a bit confused as to why Inosuke was majorly angry all the time, but then I realised that he’s not necessarily angry, per se - he is just majorly competitive.

*head on spider legs appears* ARGHHHHHHHHHHH! That reminds me of that head on spider legs from Toy Story…I seem to remember that freaked me out to some degree. I’m actually not afraid of spiders, but show me an image for “trypophobia” (fear of tiny holes) or stick me somewhere high up without secure footing…and I’m gone.

This episode is…great! I’m cursing as I watch, but it’s great! The CGI is adding to the creepiness! Also, I so didn’t expect Zenitsu to have black hair.

I agree with Zenitsu’s master, he is a moron…

…but truth be told, I think I see myself in him. That’s probably why I find him so annoying. Lately, I’ve found there are periods where I resent myself more than anyone else…and that’s the scariest part about living life. But I can’t complain, because I put my name down to help others in the same situation.

Z-Zenitsu! I-I’m sorry I ever doubted you! I’m so sorry…! I promise I’ll stop thinking you’re annoying, because you remind me of meeeeeeeeeee…! *sob, snivel, sob…*

Ukogiiiiiiiiii! Wahhhhhhhhh!

Hmm…you can smell rain. I’ve smelt it before. But thunderclouds…? Not so much.

Demon Slayer 18

“Rookie Mizunoto join the battle!” – The Smash Bros intro is a fun way to introduce people, no?

I thought Shinobu Kocho was Naruto running, but instead she has her jacket on her shoulders…so it only looks like Naruto running.

CG models are back to being awkward again…

“If you can’t slash something with one sword, you just gotta pound it with another sword!” – Basically, the philosophy of the entire shonen genre when dealing with swords.

“I’m gonna die.” – Well, there’s some words I thought I’d never hear from Inosuke…

Oh yeah…I forgot Inosuke’s never met Giyu.

Hmm…I’ve been suspecting Rui is the member of the 12 Kizuki as a demon with lower possibility of being so (but being raised by Ply’s hint during our collab and Tanjiro’s fight), but I’m more certain of the father being the 12 Kizuki based on what the series has shown us already. Hmm…so who is it???

*starts watching Taisho Secret* Wait, where did Giyu come from??? *watches again* Oh, he appears from above…! Interesting…

Hmm…I like salmon onigiri myself. I also like tuna…most flavours, really.

Cop Craft 4

The man (?) with the purplish hair who called Kei over is meant to be a gay stereotype or at least close to one. Aside from his (?) appearance, you can tell by him (?) nding his sentences with “wa”.

Marth’s post for ep. 4 said “And Suddenly, Vampires”, so…I’m thinking about how Cop Craft actually does the horror vibe really well as I watch.

Aw, these cliffhangers suck! I’m starting to thank myself that I ran behind on every show but Demon Slayer.

Cop Craft 5

O-Oh, the CG is getting worse…

Who was the 2nd person dead? The 1st was Chapman…

Astra 5

As I’m laughing at the reactions from the makeover (because I knew this was coming), I’m simultaneously wondering…holding those scissors in the way you’re doing is dangerous, Luca!!!

Oh great…midseason animation slump. This is only the 2nd show to suffer from that this season…and I’ve only caught up on 3 shows so far.

“Mine is bigger!” “No, mine is!” – Ah, anime boys and their ability to make things vaguely Freudian when out of context…*slight sweatdrop*

*slow pan, with a final shot on Aries’s boobs* - Oh, really…? *grumpy*

*…then proceeds to do boob shots of all the girls* Oh, really?!? You wanna go, show?! You were doing so well, up until this episode!!! I didn’t read past volume 2 of the manga, so this beach stuff is all new to me!!! Plus, it sucks because boob shots are everywhere!!!

“…approach him like that…”

People have been pointing this out, but McPa = Camp, Shummoor = Mushroom, Vilavurs = Survival…so Arispade = Paradise.

Ulgar really reminds me of Tooi, even though he came first…

Dr Stone 3

Taiju’s ugly tears make me go “d’aww” now that this scene is animated…it was nice in manga format, but even better when it was moving and with colour.

Now that I think about it, Tsukasa’s “benefit of the new world” talk reminds me of Death Note.

Senku trying to steal Kamakura Buddha bronze looks like Bart Simpson…

Boueibu should’ve taught you that Hakone is home to hot springs.

Dr Stone 4

You don’t fire a smoke signal…

Oh wow, Mecha Senku! Wouldya lookit that! *points at him* He answers questions in the manga, so I didn’t think he’d get adapted!

Are those…CGI trees? Oh great, why does all shonen these days need CGI trees???

Fighting over established interests means a Thucydides trap (a mini version of which seems to be playing out here with Tsukasa)…that’s basically the only thing I remember from my old politics classes.

I just noticed Yuzuriha refers to all the boys with –kun. She wants to stay friends with all of them…I guess even Tsukasa’s on that list, huh?

Hmm…Senku’s eyes are a reddish colour, but otherwise he’s normally representd with blue to Taiju’s red…

I just realised Senku has a red pen and a black pen in one of his breast pockets.

Aww…it’s nice to have rivals who aren’t 100% evil for once. Sure, pure evil rivals are easy to write but hard to justify. Good guys with one morally wrong aspect to them are harder to write, but easier to get behind. (Plus, at least they’re not Sasuke-style angsty.)

Dr Stone 5

So…I went searching…and I was wondering why I wanted to claim Tsukasa as husbando (but man, he’s a bit more stereotypical for a gal to fall in love with – all girls like bad guys, amirite???), but as it turns out, Senku and his buds from our era (Tsukasa included) are 18 and so are ripe for the husbando/waifu picking (not to mention they’re technically over 3700 years old, which more than makes them legal for things like drinking alcohol, as Senku himself pointed out a few eps back).

D’aww…this was in the manga, but now I find Tsukasa inserting himself into Senku’s flashback cute.

Notably, Gen Asagiri appears on the front of the book this student is asking the question from. Who’s Gen Asagiri, you ask, my dear anime-only random nonexistent entity I type these notes for? You’ll find out…soon.

Hmm…Yuzuriha is more observant than we give her credit for. Also, Senku pulled a Gen Asagiri right there…LOL.

LOL…those ‘shrooms seem massively symbolic. They were also in the manga, IIRC.

Why does Yuzuriha wear a neck scarf, anyway?

Hey, they even managed to get the game-like text box right! Awesome! (It reminds me of Little Alchemy, to be honest.)

“Himo” translates to rope…or a cord. Just FYI.

Astra 6

Eyyy…this show is calling me out.

Eyyyyy…Toi vibes from Ulgar!!!

Eyyyyy…wut? I can’t believe Anime Feminist was on the money here??? (Context: The reviewer for Astra said Luca was “one ambiguously-gendered character”.)

Hey…I once read a book with a 50% similarity to this plot. (There was a gay character – not intersex - and all the characters are adopted.)

I think Xenodude said this, but…in space, nobody can hear you scream.

I’m laughing so hard…why are Kanata’s abs the thing that hurt the most? (It’s because he’s got the harness in that region…forget I asked. It’s still funny though.)

“MILD THING” – Yep, Ulgar’s gonna be mild after what happened this episode…

Ohhhhh, I didn’t understand the “hairpiece” thing until it was revealed it was a toupee through context.

Ooh, 50% chance of lying here. Who to trust, who to trust? Charce or Aries? (I trust Aries, by the way.)

Dr Stone 6

The alien explanation etc. was in the manga, but…why do all the attackers look like Senku???

Senku does his best Thinker impression.

Eyyy! Fighter vs. fighter. I love this scene, even if only because Tsukasa (and his muscles) have the upper hand in both the visual angle and the power balance, although [BLEEP <- no spoilers!] has the surprise factor.

I remember learning once blonde hair is recessive…so does that mean most of the community is blonde? (I know the answer to that, but you, my non-existent anime-discussing entity, don’t.)

I’m tempted to hear Senku scream, “This. Is. SCIENCE!!!”

Fruits Basket 15

For some reason, videos run much faster on my phone than my laptop…

Hmm…this is the first time I’m properly listening to the 2nd ED…It’s kinda like how you’d expect an ED to be: quieter than an ED, but still serving up cuteness.

Fruits Basket 16

This episode’s visually very dark…

Middle School!Tohru reminds me of Hitori Bocchi.

Smol Uo looks like Kyo.

Fruits Basket 17

(nothing this time, sorry!)

Fruits Basket 18

Oh! I remember the matching scene in the manga (where Kisa bites Tohru for the first time).

I also remember the manga Hatsuharu is reading is called “Mogeta and the Ant” (Ari).

Now you see why Tohru is Kyoko’s daughter…

“…what her hair and eye colour were.”

Fruits Basket 19

The ep is called “I’m So Sorry!”…I think I know who’s going to star in this episode, alright…

For some reason, when I see Ritsu and Mitchan apologising to each other, I think of me and Astral…(LOL…?)

…Or maybe it reminds me of Zenitsu…?

Eyyyyyyyy, A-ya is A-ya…

This overly-apologetic character of Ritsu…this is why Martin was my favourite character back in the original Ro.Te.O days…*sighs while basking in nostalgia*

Demon Slayer 19

This episode’s been hyped since last week. Let’s get on with it!

Ooh, no pattern on this title card…

Wow (sarcastic), talk about infighting…but amazingly, I found Inosuke’s art shift to be funny for once in my life! (Amazing!...and yes, the exclamation of “Amazing!” is sincere)

Using terror is…well, Machiavellian. Hard power. You get my drift, right?

So basically, Rui breaks down the nuclear family for us.

Wait a flippin’ second…Hinokami (god of fire)? Charcoal selling? Water Breathing??? One of these is not like the others, for sure.

I get the feeling the father’s dance was recorded as video then converted to animation by ufotable staff…that’s what they did for YoI, no?

“The cold won’t bother you, either.” - Well, due to his fire theming, the cold never bothered Tanjiro anyway…*echoes of “Let It Go” suddenly play in the background*

Go for it, Nezuko! Be the Bakugo of the Demon Slayer world!

According to the credits, Tanjiro’s dad’s name is Tanjuro…that’s confusing, to say the least…

(Sorry Astral, the background noise while I was watching meant I did’t watch it with sound on…Also, is it wrong that I think the dad is hot??? Another thing: why do Tanjuro and Tanjiro have matching scars on their temples…?)

One of Tanjiro’s bros looks like Zenitsu??? Wuh???

Ooh, insert song “Kamado Tanjiro’s Song” by Go Shiina ft Nami Nakagawa. I’ll have to listen to it when I can. (Ever since SGRS, I’ve loved Go Shiina’s work…guess I didn’t expect it here, though.) Update: Misattributed the work. Go Shiina does videogame work, Sheens Ringo did SGRS stuf.

Given 3

I never knew that asking someone into a band was like asking someone out…(probably because I’ve never been in a band).

Given’s a frickin’ riot – that’s one reason I stuck with it.

I forgot Mafuyu was underage…!

Cop Craft 6

That car chase was basically Need for Speed…with worse graphics…

“Prayboy”…hmm…

I followed Kei’s advice to Google Jeffrey Dahmer…and I regret it.

The text says “Someone from the Semanian gang of thieves made contact.”

I didn’t make sense of “I hate being McCloud” until I rewound a bit and found that’s a disguise or alter ego of Tony’s.

“Shift the transmission into ‘Reverse’. The car will begin to roll backward sharply…” - The driving instructions are real, at least.

Given 4

Ehhhhh…still shots…

Kaji sure looks tough for a violinist…but a music major? Never thought he’d be one…(I saw some spoilers saying Kaji was a violinist before I watched the episode, hence my lack of surprise in that department.)

Not everyone’s in a band, y’know…

$120…? Nasty…

$70…

Ah, a layby? I don’t actually know what other countries call it, but where I am they’re called laybys, not layaways. (At the charity store I volunteer at, they call ‘em “holds”, though…which makes things even more confusing.)

Watching th first ep at the anime club made me realise that one had a piano version of Marutsuke, while this one is standard Marutsuke.

Given 5

Ooh, I see English-translated lyrics! Nice one, subbers! By the way, the title of the OP “Kizuato” sounds like it should translate to “Traces of Scars/Wounds” in English, but it’s in katakana, so I can’t confirm that…

It seems joining a band is a metaphor for love in this show…(see ep. 3 notes for more on that)

Holy moly! I’m still fairly new to BL/yaoi in general, so two-timing the boyfriend is not a trope ‘ve seen before, let alone dealt with in my head…

Ooh, more translated lyrics! That (ED singer) does sound like Mafuyu, come to think of it…

[manjuhitorie]

Did you see the huge wall of text wowaka posted on Twitter? Do you know what he's talking about?

Yes I did and my eyes started tearing up out of psychomotor agitation yes Its about his career..

How the two years amidst his first niconico fame felt like a fluffy dream. Yet after a while he started getting frustrated with everyone putting him on a pedestal like he was just some pierce of art, like they were forgetting the impassioned humaneness behind the songs. He got so fed up with the world not understanding him as more than just a genre, more than just a symbol, that he knew he wanted to implement himself as Himself more brazenly in his music andWo says this in interviews a lot too, that the reason he started Hitorie was because he was craving, to the point of circumvention, something human and raw. And since he’s nothing without music - this is the path he chose.

So after all the hard work of these past 8 years, and all the self-discovery and self-unveiling and through the bonds he’s formed and all that beautiful crap, These days, he actually feels, for the first time, that he’s become someone who lives up to his wowaka name. WHICH IS SO MODEST AND ADORABLE AND SAD AND

He even addresses all the “come back to vocaloidddd” dissing and all the audacious “wo threw out vocaloid waghhh” claims. Which I hope makes said people open their eyes and stop stepping on this man’s pure enjoyment in music. Wo was just short for time and has good friends of whom he wants to give his undivided attention to JEEZ LET HIM LIVE HE WANTS TO LIVE - Music has created who he is, and he loves “Miku-chan” for being the one who opened up the world for him BUT he can’t have his mother hold his hand forever…

He’s going to make music of his own accord now.

Wo also says that he’s bad at talking about himself and his songs in such a direct manner as this. Which is again modest and adora-