#and most of 2023 was recovering from that job. and so if i felt lonely i didn't--notice

[ghostofasecretary]

had one of my long time close friends over which was SO NICE AND LOVELY and also. i got kicked in the teeth by loneliness after he left. because i'd forgotten that i'm lonely.

it was easy, it was so fucking easy, i got so many hugs and so much casual touch and it was free and simple and unthinking and i just--haven't. gotten that. for over half a year and since spring 2022 if we're talking regular doses

so anyway i have to apply for things and it would be great if i could. focus on that. instead of. having crushing overwhelming feelings and crying about them.

but since that might not be doable i will set a timer and work and if i cry during it, well, sometimes things are hard and it's survivable

and i can always call the friend i cried to about this earlier today if it's too much. but let's work for 20 minutes first. okay?

okay.

[the-weird-kid-soratonin]

2023 recap (= x =)

What a year 2023 has been and never in a million years would I think that I would ever come back to Deviant art let alone doing some art again! 2023 for me was a very emotional rollercoaster ride with lots of good changes and happier moments as well as my fair share of sad moments. I don't want to think too much about the sad but I'd like to point out that the most exciting one being is that I have started doing art again this month after more than 6 years of burnout *Dabs* A bit of a back story about myself, as a kid I was always that weirdo (still am and about to turn 30 in less than two months now) and have always been that arts and crafts kiddo. It was a magical time when anime and manga was pretty looked down upon at the time and it was a lonely time and needless to say I didn't have any friends around that time. High school was a time where I had a lot of growing pains and developed more as an artist and luckily at that time I was able to make life long friends who have similar interests and have always looked out for me to stay out of trouble. I attended university doing graphic design and animation and it was the most challenging time of my life. Literally I have just recovered from a serious burnout from 2016 and from memory I was pushing myself way beyond my limits after I grauduated. It was honestly so painful to the point that I could no longer hold a pen to write let alone draw anything after that. It was honestly so scary losing the one ability I was good at and what use to make me so happy just left me feeling severely anxious and empty afterwards. Those last 6 years have been the most bleakest and I was doing 9 to 5 jobs to lose myself into something meaningless and monotonous. Safe to say corporate jobs are not a good fit for me mentally and physically. I have gained so much weight ever since I have started; it was awful and made me lose confidence on what I'm doing and made me more incredibly delusional. At that point I had lost meaning of my life and felt incredibly lost.

Fast forward to now I have sought professional help and for the first time in years I was seeing the world in colours. I've attended a number of sessions for the last couple of months and I could start to see the drastic change of how my view of life is now. I am smiling & laughing more and honestly so relieved that I didn't pass the probation of the current job I'm in. That job was an absolute death sentence for my sanity. 2024 is an opportunity to give myself more time to recover, take my time to look for new part time employment, get exposure and develop more as an artist. I am grateful for my partner, friends and family who have supported me throughout and let's enter 2024 with a bang!

[f1]

Mixed emotions at Williams as Mexico City GP leaves Albon feeling pleasantly surprised and Latifi very lonely

Alex Albon believes he and Williams executed a “very good” race at the Mexico City Grand Prix after narrowly missing out on a points finish with an encouraging rise from 19th at the end of the first lap to 12th at the chequered flag. Albon, who scored in Australia, Miami and Belgium earlier this season, was just a few seconds shy of repeating the feat at the Autodromo Hermanos Rodriguez as his Mercedes-powered FW44 again displayed stronger pace in race-trim, which helped the Thai-British driver to recover from a compromised start that cost him two places from 17th on the grid. READ MORE: 6 Winners and 5 Losers from the Mexico City Grand Prix – Who left the Autodromo Hermanos Rodriguez on a high? With Williams having entered the weekend expecting to struggle in the high-altitude conditions, Albon took away plenty of positives, saying: “We had a good race, actually. I was pleasantly surprised. I think we did a really good job. “It was a tricky start; we had a technical issue getting off the line, so we dropped down to 19th and then we made our way through. Most of the cars we overtook on track, or we did it in the pit-stops, and we got to 12th. ‘I felt like we did a very good job’ says Albon after climbing from P19 to 12th at the flag “Considering where we were [during practice] on Friday, on a circuit we knew was going to be difficult for us, I felt like we did a very good job.” Albon was then asked about Williams generally performing better on race days this season, which prompted him to highlight how much progress the team have made in understanding their package – and how this should reap rewards in 2023. FACTS AND STATS: Verstappen sets new season records for points and wins “I think last year the team was maybe a little bit stronger in qualifying than the race. This year it’s a bit 50/50; sometimes we get the qualifying right, sometimes we get the race right. It is a bit of a moving board,” he commented. “I think if you look at where we were at the start of the year, and where we are now, we generally really understand the car’s weaknesses, we get on top of them and we maximise the weekends. It puts us in a good place for development for next year, because we understand the areas we need to work on.” ‘A very lonely and useless afternoon’ – Latifi reveals he was racing with a damaged car Meanwhile Nicholas Latifi started one place behind Albon but was unable to replicate his team mate’s charge, the Canadian left to rue unspecified car damage as he crossed the line as the final finisher, two laps down. “I’m not sure exactly when we sustained [the damage] – it must have been very early on. We just had no pace, even at the end on brand new soft tyres compared to people who were on lap 25-lap old soft tyres, I was like two or three seconds a lap slower,” he explained. F1 NATION: A record-breaking 14th win of the season for Max Verstappen – it's our Mexico City GP review “It would have been nice to hear that a bit earlier. We’ve had some times where it doesn’t affect the balance, depending on what you actually damage, so what exactly it is we don’t know yet. But it was just a very lonely and useless afternoon.” With eight points scored so far this season, Williams remain rooted to the foot of the constructors’ standings, 27 points away from ninth-placed AlphaTauri, and a further point adrift of Haas. via Formula 1 News https://www.formula1.com