#and my experiences with the oi and sw fandom have uh. been not so fabulous

[celestialwife]

genuinely sometimes I think I'd be happier if I just left fandom altogether - maybe not the self shipping side that makes me happy but like. as much as spite used to fuel me into making even more poe stuff I have to admit that my experiences with that fandom have really just. burned me (out). I don't really feel the point in making stuff creatively even tho I enjoy making things and giffing is good regulation for me, but it's maybe not worth constantly having to hear negative things about my special interest, pushing my comfort boundaries in sharing poe, and constantly hearing about how a character I adore and relate to a lot and has gotten me through so much in the last 9 years — was actually just better when the fandom could slap whatever personality they wanted onto him.