femslashtrashh

[quaalussy]

my bitchy post was abt covid could u tell. i thought i would wake up less angry but it didnt work

[8lah8lah]

heres my genius OFF but theyre regular people AU. not human the ones that arent human stay nonhuman but everyone is still regular people put under the cut cause i genuinely thought this'd be like one sentence per char but it is fucking long girl help

zacharie; extremely normal guy. works as like, a cashier. has gone to college forrrr whatever Selling Shit or the closest thing to it is but doesnt get to use his degree much. not very online either he has an email and a facebook if those count and thats it. i dont know if he'd wear his full face masks regularly? but at least wears regular nose-and-mouth face masks like always always always always maybe even indoors with ppl he already visits regularly that are not ill. allaround pretty solid trusted liked Known guy where he lives! has no online friends that arent moved away friends from college and even then only has conversations through emails. lives with sucre and the judge

sucre; like. definetely Online. not terminally but she has a tumblr that she goes on weekly like she comes back from work (idk what her job would be) and she's like ahhh yes time to see what everyone got up to while i was away and she scrolls through tumblr in complete silence no music. really good at guessing when someone is shitty before it's known theyre shitty and when them being shitty is revealed shes like told you!!!! default outfit is a sports bra, fully unbuttoned hawaiian shirt, and sweatpants also i don't think she'd wear socks or slippers around the house OR put any footwear on to take the trash out. might play video games idk what though?? has irl and online friends and is good at hanging out with both pretty regularly. also transfem duh

judge; he is NOT like at ALL equivalant to a house cat as far as presence goes he will just stare at you and watch you and talk to you and if you tell him you're upset or you're thinking about some issue in the world oh boy you are going to have the conversation of a lifetime. does annoying cat things even though he is 101% on human scale of awareness cause he thinks it's funny (stepping on zacharie's laptop, eating food that was left unattended on the table, sleeping on clothes in closet when either zacharie or sucre needs them for work and slaps them with his paw when they try to take it) and also cause he's a cat but all 3 of them know he does not need to do that. is 40+ in human years and still kickin and yes still has The teeth because he's a very special boy <3

the batter; baliff whack his peepee (he is in jail because i emphatically believe he would still murder people over jack shit regardless of the situation)

the queen; single mom, i don't know what her job(s) would be either she's either working all the time or has one big important fancy job. good friends with zacharie he helps babysit hugo sometimes. i think zacharie and sucre live in an apartment but the queen lives in a proper house. uhhh i dont know she is also very well liked where she lives and gets cookies etc on her doorstep every xmas from neighbors etc

hugo; hes like 6??? and yes he still LOVES meat he stole a piece of jerky from the batter when he was baby and has not stopped wanting to have meat with every single meal since. never used teething toys just gnawed jerky. shares a minecraft account with the queen it has some like super generic Mom username with like numbers and shit at the end and everything but hugo will ONLY let the skin be sans if he's playing. the queen like sets him on her lap and is like awww let's play mindcraft now sweetie!!! and he's like aoououououou -blows everything up- also he's still bald he wanted to be bald. when zacharie babysits him and the judge comes which he usually does (also the judge hangs out on zacharie's shoulders when he goes outside but not to work like every other time he goes out) the judge poisons hugo's baby innocent mind with philosophical questions. also he draws

dedan; has a job specifically where he can yell at people this is probably like, construction or something but my first thought when conceptualizing this last month it was "a traffic guy" and i want you to imagine him in the little hi vis jacket. guiding children safely across the street to and from school screaming and getting road rage at the parked cars even though he is not driving. and also that when he does drive to work he is screaming the entire fucking time as loud as he can only taking breaks to catch his breath so he doesnt have to think about how angry the people driving normally are making him. got top surgery in like the 1980's through sheer will good for him

enoch; enoch. doesn't do the whole "forces employees to develop cannibalism addictions so they work more" thing (sorry to ppl who havent beat OFF yet) i'm pretty sure that is illegal to do for some reason or another but he is a universally disliked and infamous boss all the same. one time he invited his workers to a lunch thing with him and one guy who's also coworkers with zacharie invited him to it so enoch wouldnt get mad there was so few people and zacharie wasnt like, SCARED, but he was like holy shit you live like this? my friend said "enoch on facebook talking about how his workers are so dedicated except brian lastname 123 street" which i hard agree with. smashed a beer bottle maybe a few on the batter's head once at an event like 11 years ago which while everyone hates him for everything else agrees that was pretty ahead of his time

valerie; if he is NOT dead (which he isnt in this au) he would live in his own house with the judge that they both upkeep and pay the bills for and everything. if he is dead it is cause japhet who is uhhhhh i dont know SOME bird killed him and he died when he was like 16 also in human years cause he was also a very special boy <3

japhet; i dont think he's as sentient and powerful as in-game japhet is cause i dont think the world would be ready for a like 10 foot tall can fly bird with hooves with a heron beak that is malicious but he's either like a hawk or an emu and when the judge is on walks with zacharie the judge will stare at and try to talk to him and he's like -is literally just a normal bird cannot speak or understand english- if he WAS like he is in-game though i think he'd be friends with enoch

[darrycurtises]

hey fam, do all of the aesthetic asks

thanks sun goddess ily

Flower Crown: when did you last sing to yourself

yesterday bc i always sing in the car, i think it was me putting “starman” “here comes the sun” and “ticket to the moon” on repeat the whole way home

Fairy Lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

i’d like to know what the world will be like in like a century bc i worry about the world i hope she’ll be ok

Daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life

well i’m a seventeen yr old and not even one of the cool ones that compete in the olympics so its either like UH starting college @ 16 or being published in an official writing anthology

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to your mind, recent or otherwise?

last year when i went to busch gardens w my sister n my mom and i got to hold a penguin named Turkey ON MY LAP i have pictures to document this (i was chubbier back then tho no judgment)

Matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you’re now living?

yeah i wouldn’t be fucking living in florida and going to school id be using whatever money i could to travel overseas, and then i’d go on a big crosscountry roadtrip 

Black Nail Polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

not an official one, just vague “i’d like to do x someday” things

Moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

yes absolutely

Stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

last week i went to a funeral and i cried so much they got a picture w me sobbing in the background

Plants: pick a person to stargaze with you, and explain why you picked them

my best friend tomas probably because he’s the only person who wouldnt make fun of me for stargazing

Converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

BITVH NO LMAO I DONT EVEN TALK TO MY FRIENDS !!

Lace: when was your last three am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

again, tomas, my best friend. about 4 days ago?

Handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one more person, what would you say and to whom?

oh man i dont even know

Cactus: opinion on brown eyes?

i have them and i love them. got my brown eyed angels all over the place. i know like three people w not-brown eyes 

Sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally

Oil Paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

[Redacted]

Overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

id get new cars for my sister and mom bc theirs are v old like ten minutes to start and cough like a smoker old, and id pay my mom’s house off, pay off my sister’s student loans, deposit a lot to my grandma who’s living in an expensive nursing home, donate 2 houston, put away more for my college, lots of stuff

Combat Boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

Yes and yes

Winged Eyeliner: write a hundred letter word to your twelve year old self

I don’t need 100 words I just need to tell her to shut up, stop eating so much, try being friends w the girls you don’t like, they were actually nice, you’re not as funny as you think you are save your words for later and think before you speak. Also, thanks for attaching our self worth to our school performance, this isn’t sarcastic, its turning out really well for scholarships

Pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

Leaning more towards pastel, but honestly the most accurate thing would be primary colors/

Tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I like them but not on me

Piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

I usually do a quick face for school, but if im in the mood then I like to do the most just because im a teenager and im living in a time of really weird fashion and this is the only time in my life where I’ll be ballsy enough and free enough to buy and wear green eyeshadow. You think that’ll fly when im 30 w a 9-5 job? I think not. Lemme get it outta my system now, while I have ~~~being a teenager~~~ to blame it on

Bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

This is gonna sound really depressing but I don’t believe in love bc of the avett brothers song “January wedding. He was so in love with her when he wrote it and for years I was like “this is love theyre so in love” and then bam we get the true sadness album and January wedding gets followed by “divorce separation blues.” Who can be that in love with someone and then just. Stop. I don’t get it, love isn’t real.

Messy Bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

This is too much pressure

Cry Baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

Ive seen the avett brothers 3 times and they were amazing every single time, just wowowow I got the “fuck it,  im standing up and singing” mood. Ive also seen boston and foreigner, which were also fun, but mostly bc of the 50 yr old stoners in the crowds.

Grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

My papa, and I’d like it to say [classified] and maybe I’d like him to say [redacted].

Space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

I have a permanent set up at the kitchen table from august thru may, and its perpetually in disarry.

White Bed Sheets: what is your night time routine?

Face mask, hair care, moisturizer, vanilla tea, set up the coffee maker for the next morning, pack my book bag, pray, bed.

Old Books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

I’d like my mom not to know that she’s kind of annoying to watch movies w (it’d break her heart shes so sensitive aw) and id like my dad not to know where I live

Beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I have dyed my hair I went red for a bit but now its brown. Id never do anything that require I bleach it bc I love myself and wont do that to my head

Eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

Id take my mom, sister, my friends [classified], [classified], and [classified] to new york w me so we can do horrible cheesy touristy stuff, and then I’d have them go w me on a cross country roadtrip

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

If I tell u my wish it wont come true

Painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

Its gonna be this year’s ive already perfected the make up im gonna be a mime and its amazing

Lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

Literally nothing ive never gotten high bc it seems uhhh not fun, but ive gotten a lil drunk before (I don’t like to drink bc it makes my head hurt and it’s a lot of calories) but I get sad id be a sad drunk so I just cried.

Thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Anything thatd harm a person/animal. Never kill, never maim. If u handed me a gun and said “shoot a deer ill give you a million dollars” I couldn’t do it. If I had to break someones arm for a million dollars I couldn’t do it.

Storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

Song, bc I love people, ill just listen to a podcast while I run I guess

Love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realize you’re in love.

Not really, only a little bit of an “I’d like to love them” sort of thing

Clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

Im a girl and id never rock short hair bc I don’t have the jaw for it, and I like my long hair to make my jaw look sharper

Coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

I just get iced black tea bc starbucks coffee is ass, and id trust my mom. Not my sister or my friends bc theyd get me sugar in my tea instead of unsweet w honey

Marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

The things my life has revolved around for years lmao my loved ones and school