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#and now its like. my birthdy is very soon and i know theyre probably going to be lovey dovey w each other and choose each other over me aga
shameful4 · 28 days
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bleh
#i havent talked abt this anywhere else so sorry for venting HEHAGHSGHA i just have no where else to go about it#i got my friends together . one of them was my best friend the other was a close friend ykhii#ummm i was excited about it at first but its been like a year and i think im starting to resent both of them#i feel like i lost my best friend. we used to hang out all the time but now theyre always hanging out with their partner#and i dont think their partner likes me either really. its not undeserved theres nuance and i wouldnt fault them for disliking me but its#like. ugh. whatever shall i do#i dont want to cling onto shit but im just like tired of it. i used to be fine knowing that i had my friends to lean on but i wonder if the#dreaded friend group collapse is on its way now#and i could be more open about it but its like even when i hang out with my bsf now its less smooth and i feel like i have to try harder.#theres more silence#i feel like we're growing apart#im not even sure if im overreacting but i dont think i am#idk#maybe i should date someone so i can get my head out of my ass or whatever#im sure they see me as pathetic LMAOOOO i know i would from their position. that sounds self depreciating as fuck woooops#god and i dont even have the right to complain abt this next part but like i got thm together the day after my birthday bc i was tired of#them not dating each other and talking to me abt it LOL#and now its like. my birthdy is very soon and i know theyre probably going to be lovey dovey w each other and choose each other over me aga#is this envy....? am i... social 4 maxxing....? indeed i am#i just dont rlly know. i dont want to fix it because i genuinely just think we're kind of growing apart but it still sucks balls it rlly do#or maybe i will fix things. i dont know#i literally havent been letting myself complain about this at all to anyone so this has just been building up for awhile ughghghgb#i swear im a healthy individual who tries to communicate and be normal guysss pls
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