#and pivoted as soon as the cardinal popped up

[adrianicsea]

Hello, I just want to say I'm getting most of my film recs from you. And I was wandering, have you seen any fioms that aren't western that you would recommend. I just don't know where to start. Anyways, have a nice day.

hi!!! that means so much to me— i love sharing the movies i’m passionate about, and it means a lot when people tell me that they check out a movie because of me 🥹

by non-western films, i’m assuming that you mean films not from the US or from western european countries— if that’s not the case, please let me know!!

i actually haven’t seen a ton of non-western movies myself, and that’s something i’d like to address!! but as far as non-western films i HAVE seen and enjoyed, here’s some that i’ve recently seen or ones that are still memorable:

promare— japan, anime, action/scifi. follows the adventures of galo, an enthusiastic member of a team of firefighters facing off against a terrorist group of pyromancers known as the mad burnish. as galo learns more about the mysterious leader of the burnish, lio, galo comes to question the way burnish are treated in society and if lio’s actions are truly in the wrong.

perfect blue— japan, anime, horror/thriller. mima, a retired j-pop idol, is being stalked as she pivots to an acting career. she loses her grip on reality as a series of strange, violent events begin to happen around her, including a vision of her own former idol self.

sweet home- japan, horror. when a film documentary crew sets foot in the mansion of a notorious deceased artist to research and create a tv special about his frescoes, they awake a dormant evil. this movie is notable because its tie-in video game was a direct inspiration for the resident evil series!

noroi: the curse— japan, horror. this is kind of a found footage/mockumentary style film that starts as an exploration of a purported “curse” and the strange events surrounding it, and then escalates to become something absolutely wild and ABSOLUTELY terrifying.

beau travail— france/djibouti, drama/thriller. while this film’s director, claire denis, IS french, she grew up in colonial french africa, and this film as well as many of her others explore west african culture and issues. in beau travail, the disgraced french legion sergeant galoup recounts the tale of his fall from grace and his cardinal sin of betraying one of his own, a beautiful, kind, and noble young cadet named sentain. this film is a loose adaptation of herman melville’s story billy budd, and it also explores the ongoing effects of the french legion’s presence in djibouti!

nosferatu— silent film (made in germany), horror. if you’re interested in learning about film history at all, western or otherwise, you can’t NOT look at the german expressionist movement! this is a classic, quintessential vampire story— in fact, nosferatu was made as a dracula ripoff when the director FW murnau was not permitted to make an ACTUAL film adaptation of dracula.

metropolis— silent film (made in germany), scifi. this is another legendary entry in the german expressionist movement! in a far-off, hyperindustrialized future, the richest people in metropolis live high above the ground, oblivious to the constant, dehumanizing labor and miserable conditions that are endured by the workers living down below. a sweet, naive young boy from the upper levels named freder finds his way down into the guts of the city, and he is awakened to the suffering of his fellow man and begins to agitate for a workers’ revolution. the work and effects in this movie are BEYOND impressive, especially for something that’s nearing 100 years old!!!

good manners— brazil, horror/fantasy with some musical elements. in são paulo, a poor nurse named clara manages to secure a job as a house sitter, nurse, and nanny to a rich single soon-to-be mother named ana. as the two of them begin to fall in love, ana recounts the story of her baby’s father, and reveals that both he and her unborn child are werewolves. this is a gorgeous, sensitive, and original take on the werewolf genre, and the creature effects are amazing!

RRR— india, musical/action/epic. this is kind of a fictional “what-if” scenario about the meeting of two real-life indian revolutionaries. bheem is a man from a tribe living traditionally in the jungles of india; raju is living as one of the only indian members of the occupying british forces, a traitor to his own people. by rights, the two should hate each other— but they meet while cooperating to rescue a child and become best friends instead, neither one aware of their true identities or motives.

zindagi na milegi dobra— india, comedy/road trip movie. three childhood friends meet up to go on an adventure before one of them gets married, and along the way, they each find the courage to do something that they’ve always wanted to do, like skydive or run with the bulls in spain!!

monkey man— india, action. an anonymous young man going only by the name Kid undertakes a years-long revenge quest in order to avenge his family and village, long ago destroyed by a fascist quasi-religious leader. this film has a lot of american influences/people working on it, but given that its director and star dev patel has indian heritage and that the film deals so squarely with indian culture and politics, it felt fair to include it here.

flee— denmark/afghanistan, partially animated, drama/biopic. amin, an openly gay man living in denmark, arrived there as an unaccompanied minor from afghanistan when he was a teenager. using a combination of documentary-style interview footage with amin and animated recreations, flee tells the story of his exodus from his home and of his coming to terms with his identity.

i hope that at least one or two of these sounds interesting to you!! and if you meant something different by non-western (ex ANY non-english film, just films that aren’t from the US), please let me know and i might have some alternate recs for you :)

[windviator]

4 formal bows + 1 cheeky one

[tisthenightofthewitch]

THE 20 GREATEST GHOST SONGS – RANKED - KERRANG!

From Opus Eponymous to Prequelle, we rank the greatest compositions from Ghost

Words: Sam Law

Photo: Tom Barnes 

Undoubtedly the breakout band in heavy music over the past decade, it’s been a wild ride for Swedish creeps Ghost. Melding elements of hard rock, doom, classic metal, psychedelia and outright guitar-pop – then daubing on the corpsepaint – their combination of deceptively digestible sound, occultist ethos and anti-ecumenical aesthetic has captured the imagination of music fans and sling-shotted their live ‘rituals’ into arenas on both sides of the Atlantic.

Of course, mysterious mainman Tobias Forge (aka Papa Emeritus I-IV, aka Cardinal Copia) has had his struggles. In 2013, the band was forced to temporarily rebrand as Ghost B.C. for legal reasons in the U.S. The initially intriguing, fluid anonymity of his bandmates’ Nameless Ghoul personas (even Dave Grohl apparently once donned the cowl) became a sticking point, too, as the collective sued Tobias in 2017, failing in their suit but also dispelling some of the precious mystique.

That Tobias has endured – not just surviving, but flamboyantly thriving in the heightened spotlight – feels like proof his band are here to stay. New music is eagerly anticipated in the not-so-distant future but, for now, we rank the 20 tracks on which Ghost have built their unholy empire thus far…

20. MUMMY DUST (MELIORA, 2015)

‘I was carried on a wolf’s back, to corrupt humanity / I will pummel it with opulence, with corpulence and greed!’ Arriving on a wave of staccato percussion, spiked with gnarls of riffage and flashes of synth, this pounding cut from 2015’s Meliora – named after the insubstantial detritus of years past – plays out as one of Ghost’s most compelling indictments of the avarice of mankind. Although its creeping instrumentation, growled baritone and choral climax don’t exactly show the Swedes at their most inventive, Mummy Dust has been elevated massively in the live arena, with Papa leaning into the lurching malevolence before showering the audience with ‘money’. In Ghost we trust.

19. WITCH IMAGE (PREQUELLE, 2018)

Ghost might have traversed a full spectrum from gouging metal via classic rock to shimmering guitar-pop thus far, but the further their sound has strayed into the light, the harder the lyrics have drilled down into darkness. It’s never been truer than on this underrated ditty from Prequelle. A textbook three-and-a-half-minutes built of sweet acoustic and rich electric guitars surging towards its massive chorus, you can practically taste the relish as Tobias ladles the syrup onto some of his darkest words. ‘While you sleep in earthly delight, someone’s flesh is rotting tonight / Like no other to you, what you’ve done you can not undo…’

18. CON CLAVI CON DIO (OPUS EPONYMOUS, 2010)

After the baroque organ intro of Deus Culpa, it’s the throbbing bassline of Con Clavi Con Dio that truly pulls back the sacristy drapes on Ghost’s compelling debut. Translating crudely as ‘With Nails, With God’, the title Con Clavi Con Dio is actually an attempt at clever wordplay, drawing comparisons with the nails of crucifixion and the conclave of bishops at the head of the church as Tobias sings, ‘Our conjuration sings infernal psalms and smear the smudge in bleeding palms.’ Theological musing aside, it’s the dark swirl of sound here that truly draws the listener in, with gauzy layers of guitar, synth and vocals – not to mention the devilish tritone interval – building into a towering cathedral of subversion.

17. FAITH (PREQUELLE, 2018)

No relation to the oft-covered George Michael classic, the fourth single from 2018’s Prequelle feels like a defiant statement of the band’s arena-straddling prowess twelve years in. Powered by snarling six-strings and pounding drums – custom engineered to get tens of thousands of fists pumping – it’s seething proof that this band’s heaviest sounds are still among their best. At the same time, we get a furious flash of the man behind the mask as Tobias takes aim at his ex-Nameless Ghouls with some serious lyrical barbs: ‘The Luddites shun the diabolical, a fecal trail across the land / Although it stinks, feels and looks identical / And a pack of fools can take the stand.’ Oooft.

16. PER ASPERA AD INFERNI (INFESTISSUMAM, 2013)

Riffing on the popular Latin phrase ‘Per aspera ad astra’ (‘Through hardship to the stars’), Per Aspera Ad Infini literally translates as ‘Through Hardships To Hell.’ Its churning sound diabolically matches up. Layering on riffage that calls to mind the epic doom of heroes like Candlemass, marching-beat percussion and a lyrical treatment revolving around that title chanted as a mantra, there is sinisterness throughout. Its defining quality, however, is the fragility and despair Tobias manages to summon as he begs with ecstatic fervour, ‘Oh Satan, devour us all / Hear our desperate call.’

15. SECULAR HAZE (INFESTISSUMAM, 2013)

The lead single from 2013’s sophomore LP Infestissumam immediately built on the spooky foundations laid by Opus Eponymous with broader pantomime atmospherics and – on its live premiere in Linköping, Sweden, where Papa Emeritus II was unveiled – the first branches of their expanded mythos. A carnivalesque organ sets the tone of mischievous eeriness before the pendulous musicality hits full swing with Papa inviting us in: ‘You know that the fog is here omnipresent when the disease sees no cure / You know that the fog is here omnipresent when the intents remain obscure – forevermore!’ As if their mainstream-invading intent wasn’t clear enough, its single release even came with a B-side cover of ABBA’s I’m A Marionette featuring Dave Grohl on drums!

14. SEE THE LIGHT (PREQUELLE, 2018)

Another barely-veiled reference to Tobias’ struggles with ex-bandmates, See The Light is also one of his band’s most shamelessly uplifting compositions. Feeling like a positivist ’80s anthem – shot through with a little venom – its tinkling keys, soaring synths and understated, rumbling riffage propel an effortlessly memorable message about transcending the ill-will of one’s antagonists. Sing it together: ‘Every day that you feed me with hate, I grow stronger!’

13. DEUS IN ABSENTIA (MELIORA, 2015)

Riding on the metronomic beat of their Monstrance Clock, the closer on Ghost’s third album (translated from Latin as ‘In The Absence Of God’) is an extravagant exercise in arch theatrics. Benefiting from Klas Åhlund’s grandiose production, Tobias comes across as both demon and angel, extending his dark invitation: ‘The world is on fire, and you are here to stay and burn with me / A funeral pyre, and we are here to revel forever.’ Concluding with a hymn-like Latin chorus, it feels like the ultimate corruptive culmination: a musical sacrament truly touching only to those in the know.

12. STAND BY HIM (OPUS EPONYMOUS, 2010)

The track that started it all. Inspired by that irresistible lead riff – stumbled upon while practising for another band – Tobias foresaw a deep, dark well of potential waiting to be tapped and threw himself in headlong. Although Stand By Him’s schlocky lyrics feel gleefully on-the-chin nowadays (‘The Devil’s power is the greatest one / When His’ and Hers’ holiest shuns the sun / A temptress smitten by the blackest force / A vicar bitten blind in intercourse’), they paved the way for everything that followed. On top of that, its soaring ‘It is the night of the witch…’ chorus line even rivals that of Donovan’s Season Of The Witch (an obvious influence) for sheer spellbinding catchiness.

11. GHULEH/ZOMBIE QUEEN (INFESTISSUMAM, 2013)

One of the less immediate tracks on Ghost’s second album was also its most important. A staggering, seven-and-a-half minute opus that unfolds from its sorrowing piano line and Papa’s desiccated hiss through a swaggering midsection to a conclusion full of proggy bombast; this was proof of the untold breadth and depth of their vision and sound. Pushing from their basis in ’80s classic rock through the looser sounds of the ’70s and right into ’60s psychedelia, this ode to the titular zombie queen (‘Up from the stinking dirt she rises, ghastly pale / Shape-shifting soon but now she’s rigid, stiff and stale’) feels like Tobias’ first real attempt to stretch his (cursed black) wings and remains amongst their most rewarding compositions.

10. RITUAL (OPUS EPONYMOUS, 2010)

Anyone who remembers Ghost’s ethereal emergence from the shadows likely does so with this earworm writhing in the back of their mind. Combining the slick melodies and wry fatalism of prime Blue Öyster Cult with the crunchiness of Pentagram and Saint Vitus – soothing organs and a driving bassline pulling away – they had the musical formula nailed. It was the imagery contained therein, however (all ‘bedouins and nomads’, fallen angels and ‘smells of dead human sacrifices from the altar bed’) that captured the imaginations of a congregation ravenous for a fresh take on ancient evil. Here, the doors to the sanctum were truly open.

9. YEAR ZERO (INFESTISSUMAM, 2013)

Tying into the Ghost B.C. renaming necessitated by their Stateside legal wranglings (the year zero being the pivotal point between the B.C. and A.D. timelines), Infestissumam’s sixth track developed into one of the greatest showcases of their dark majesty. Opening with a powerful Gregorian chant (‘Belial, Behemoth, Beelzebub, Asmodeus, Satanas, Lucifer’) calling to mind Jerry Goldsmith’s legendary soundtrack to The Omen, Ave Satana, the direct riffage and bludgeoning choruses that follow hammer home a sense of sheer monstrosity. Typically, the Year Zero concept is subverted, with Forge (and, reportedly, guitarist Martin Persner) picturing an ancient antagonist far predating biblical times: ‘Since dawn of time the fate of man is that of lice, equal as parasites and moving without eyes / A day of reckoning when penance is to burn, count down together now and say the words that you will learn.’

8. MIASMA (PREQUELLE, 2018)

Just when you think you’ve got Ghost figured out, they pull something like this. The first of Prequelle’s two extended instrumentals feels like showboating from an outfit whose legitimacy some fans had dared question following the acrimonious departure of so many players. Rearing into view as an expansively primitive space-rock soundscape, layering up into an ’80s prog epic, then exploding in a kaleidoscopic whirlwind of synths, Michael Jackson riffs and the best metal saxophone this side of Norway’s Shining, it was proof that Tobias’ vision would not be dictated solely by his own crooning King Diamond fixation and that it, frankly, knew no bounds.

7. ELIZABETH (OPUS EPONYMOUS, 2010)

Four years since their formation, Elizabeth felt like the break Ghost had been waiting for. Released on 7” vinyl (with the less-ear-catching Death Knell on B-side), the Mercyful Fate comparisons were immediate, with many seeing the sense of eerie grandeur and kitsch luridity at play as directly descended from the great Danes’ 1987 classic Devil Eyes. An ode to infamous Hungarian Countess Elizabeth Bathory – alleged serial killer and bloodbather – sees Papa getting his teeth sunk in lyrically: ‘Her pact with Satan, her disposal of mankind / Her acts of cruelty and her lust for blood makes her one of us!’ The fine balance between sensuality and sin has yet to be bettered.

6. RATS (PREQUELLE, 2018)

The lead single from 2018’s Prequelle feels like a bridge between the (relative) heaviness of the band’s past and the unfettered theatricality of the album that was about to follow. Powered by a straightforward riff and piercing organs, dazzling solos and a rogue harpsichord, its introduction of the Black Death concept in which the album would wallow (refracting contemporary grievances through the filthy lens of the 14th century bubonic plague) felt both atmospherically appropriate and deliciously alive. The Scandi-pop ‘oooh-aahs’ in the chorus remain one of the band’s most gleefully irreverent touches, too. And the question of whether ‘them filthy rodents still coming for your souls’ is reference to Tobias’ old bandmates has provided rich fuel to keep the metal gossip mill turning.

5. MONSTRANCE CLOCK (INFESTISSUMAM, 2013)

In the Roman Catholic church, the monstrance is an (often ornate) receptacle in which the consecrated communion host is displayed for veneration. A monstrance clock was an aesthetically-similar Renaissance-era timekeeping device capable of displaying date, time and a wealth of other celestial information, often used in church rituals. We suspect that Ghost just liked the faintly cheeky sound of the phrase when quickly spoken. Still, the song they wrought from that initial giggle is utterly unforgettable. Deliberately paced and overflowing with evangelical zeal, a slow build flourishes into a splendiferous closing chorus that’s turned many an arena into a church of the Dark Lord: ‘Come together, together as one / Come together for Lucifer’s son!’

4. DANCE MACABRE (PREQUELLE, 2018)

If Rats was pandering somewhat to the existing fanbase, Dance Macabre was the other side of the coin. A shamelessly retro ’80s-style power ballad that’s as light on overt Satanic references as it is heavy on the cheese, some fans saw it as a form of selling-out: a dilution of devilish imagery in service of greater American radio-rock appeal. Perhaps they had a point. From its fist-pumping percussion and effervescent guitar solo to that ‘wanna, be wit chu’ chorus hook, however, it’s executed with enough committed precision and knowing panache to stand on its own terms, and a whole legion of new fans couldn’t help be swept along through the gateway and on to far darker delights. Tobias’ explanation that this is a soundtrack for people living like there’s no tomorrow – as many literally did during the plague – adds an extra dimension. Best experienced with the gleefuly vampiric music video.

3. CIRICE (MELIORA, 2015)

It’s strange how things work out sometimes. Originally conceived with producer Klas Åhlund as a nine-minute instrumental deep cut, Cirice was chopped down and reworked into Meliora’s irresistible lead single – becoming the song that really kickstarted Ghost’s stratospheric ascent. An insidious opening combusts into an infernal crescendo before lurching into the band’s most bludgeoning riff to date. All the while, Papa’s beguiling vocals reach out, full of dark romance, for new converts to their corrupted congregation. 2016’s GRAMMY for Best Metal Performance felt like just reward for such inspired work. The Roboshobo-directed music video – featuring a school talent show that’s almost as horrific as the ones we remember – is another stone cold standout.

2. SQUARE HAMMER (POPESTAR, 2016)

Following the unprecedented success of Meliora, Ghost found themselves suddenly commanding crowds far larger – and more diverse – than they’d seen before. Most of the ingredients for these grander live rituals were already in place, but they lacked the barn-burner early in their set to get these massive rooms onside. Dropped as the standalone original track on the Popestar covers EP, Square Hammer gave them just that. Abstractly melding the cultist themes of Satanism and Freemasonry, the concept of selling one’s soul – ‘ready to swear right here, right now, before the devil’ – was hardly new, but the outright pop energy of those surging synths and that exuberant chorus clearly signalled that the game had changed.

1. HE IS (MELIORA, 2015)

If Ghost’s diabolical mission statement is to make the Luciferian ideals more palatable to the masses, then He Is must be their masterpiece. So perfectly camouflaged – with twanging acoustic guitars and reverberating vocals that could’ve been nicked from the golden age of AOR – is their message, that they could drop this at any Christian rock festival and only the most switched-on devotees would know the difference. Openly indebted to giants like Kansas and Journey (and less openly to more recent occult acoustic acts like Ancient VVisdom), there’s a burning light to the sound. The use of divine-sounding Latin (‘Nostro Dispater, nostr’alma mater’) to identify the titular ‘He’ as the dark lord of the underworld is just another characteristically twisted masterstroke. Kneel at their altar.

All rights owned by Kerrang!

What do you guys think? 

Personally there’s a few I’d replace and Ritual is always my NO.1. 

[snarkywrites]

New Moon in Taurus

New Moon in Taurus on May 4th, 2019 makes it a splendid time to rekindle some much needed me time with ourselves. The stress from school, work and life in general must be checked so that we can find a balance within ourselves to continue on this fun journey through the next seven months. It is still a shock to me that the year is almost halfway over especially when 2018 dragged (especially for me). We are now experiencing some planets retrograding (hello, Jupiter!) and it is a pivotal time to reflect and get everything in order so we will not repeat the same mistakes later on this year.

Aries — The New Moon will make you want to gain some optics when it comes to how others see you and most importantly how you see yourself. Use this moment to stop the temper tantrums, ground yourself and start focusing on things you may have been neglecting. Get that business plan ready and do it accordingly.

Taurus — It is your time to shine as the New Moon empowers and strengthens you. The boost of energy and focus is what you will need for the upcoming months. Do not be afraid to have fun, express yourself and be you. This is your party month where opportunities pop up and you will be the center of attention. Enjoy.

Gemini — With the New Moon in Taurus, you will take things slowly as you start to weigh some options that are pending. Jupiter is opposing your Ascendant, making things a little more interesting as you contemplate the people entering your life. This is a good time to plan deals or just preserving friendships in general. Reach out to someone you miss.

Cancer — The New Moon will help bump your social status a bit during this transit because you will have the opportunity to meet more people. In general, Cardinal signs (you included) will be working a lot harder than others this year. However, you’ll feel inspired by people you meet and your creativity and work ethic will allow for you to work harder and be more motivated.

Leo — This is your time to take control of your destiny. Plan ahead, don’t be afraid to take those leaps when it comes to fighting for a position you want or just want to be top of the class at school. Visualize and do it because the New Moon will allow for you to get there, just start believing it’s true and you’ll see magic happen.

Virgo — This is a good time to escape from the pressures of the world through reading or writing. Meditate, utilize yoga to help with the nerves. The transit demands for the restlessness that’s been haunting you to be in control. When you are ready, take the driver’s seat (metaphorically speaking) and set course for your next adventure.

Libra — With the Moon gracing you this transit, you will experience a bump in income, or the ability to resolve some issues that had been bugging you for some time. This transit allows for you to understand the value of patience. You have been working hard this year and things may seem like they aren’t giving you results. The fruits of your labor will be shown soon enough, keep at it.

Scorpio — The energy of the New Moon brings a focus on your independence and how well you handle personal relationships. Are you suffocating your friends? Can you be overbearing? Take some tips from your sister sign and learn how to be sweeter, work the charm and bring out that “artist.” Show love with less intensity and educate those with more compassion.

Sagittarius — Taurus energy will be felt and you’ll be motivated to work as hard as possible. The challenges have been presented, especially to the Sagittarius folks with second and third decans. You’re not afraid of challenges and proving to others what you can do. This transit can make or break you because it relates to output. Work hard and get rewarded, slack off and expect failure.

Capricorn — Another sign that needs a break is yours. You’ve experienced the heavy hitters the last two years but you’re strong and wiser because of it. This energy makes you relaxed and more inclined to experience excitement in your life. Take a break if you can and hang with people you care for so you can feel more liberated and decompressed. You feel lucky and will see the results of projects you’ve worked on.

Aquarius — A good opportunity to take a break from the world with this New Moon in Taurus. You may consider some redesign or discover new ways to control what you spend since you might feel compelled to throw it all in something that isn’t practical. When you feel more grounded with family and friends, it will help you feel luckier and happier. Any tensions you may have experienced at home will be eased with this transit.

Pisces — Finally, the fishes will be stimulated mentally and spiritually with this transit. You already feel magnificent and radiant with the influx of income or outflow, if you’ve been treating yourself. This transit will fuel the inner party animal as you switch gears later on in the month, compelled to connect and meet new people. Take things slowly and don’t make decisions on a whim before carefully planning and analyzing them.

[brandonwestsociety-blog]

The Tall Woman

It was my first time buying an used phone. I had bought used videogames, books, movies, but never something so prone to be an half-scam, or possibly a full-fledged one, as a mobile phone can be. Nevertheless, between the impulse of replacing my forever dormant old phone and the annoyance of shelling out another 300 bucks on Amazon, I fed an ever smirking Franklin to a red star John Doe on eBay. The Huawei, a Vision model, seemed to have travelled all the way from China in search of its new owner, judging by the unintelligible ideograms stamped on the worn package the courier delivered at my door ten days after my purchase. Unsurprisingly, the mobile had Chinese as default language, and the holy war to impose the Verb of Merriam-Webster upon the faithless, communist circuits took a good fifteen minutes of trial and error. Once set up, I sat down to play with my new hi-tech knick-knack that generously provided one game and one e-book. The little thing also paraded some kind of live newsfeed, albeit it appeared to have jammed some months before. Cheap comes with a price, I guess. While I was toying with the e-book reader app, I found out there was a .pdf document in addition to that old classic volume I would never have read. I tapped on it and to my annoyance, the system crashed and rebooted itself. Soon after the red Huawei logo stopped pivoting on the screen, I was welcomed by a pop up saying “Si deus unus est, quae esse beata solitudo queat?” . Praying that the phone didn’t switch to Latin by its own will, I tapped the annoying warning away. The system was still, thankfully, in English, but the once vibrant wallpaper had been replaced by a homogeneous blue slate, a lazy background for the bright yellow letters that had replaced the mellow white fonts. At this point I was quite sure I had been scammed, the phone being a nest of viruses written by some bored, bookish Cardinal recluse in his Roman solitude. The only way to prove my theory was to repeat the process that lead to the fuck up, and that I did: through the e-book reader app and towards the .pdf I went. You can understand my surprise when the phone didn’t reboot, but the file opened to reveal what looked like a numbered list of sorts. The document was redacted in Chinese, without empty lines between the bullet points, and I couldn’t understand any of it until I sent a peer of mine screenshots of that exotic tangle. Although he complained about the bad grammar plaguing the document, I had an almost totally reliable translation in my hand the next day. Here’s the list, as strange as it sounds.

 10. Avoid the empty places

6. Be aware of empty spaces

3. Leave when your drink turns sour, no matter the hospitality

22. Red is the colour of wine, black is the colour of wine, white is the colour of wine

23. A full glass is always better than an half empty one

7. Angles don’t meddle with curves

8. Surfaces can be made of curves

52. Beware the tall woman

18. Stasis lies beyond good and evil

12. Beware of open windows

13. Don’t heed Eastern ravens

40. Cautious be who dreams of Heavens

Considering that the list didn’t seem to make any sense even after being ordered in the correct verse, I didn’t think much of that document sitting in my phone, until I started to see her.

She was standing by the door that led to the dim-lighted living room, pale and tall and bloated; sticky black hair falling unevenly over her slightly hunched shoulders.

The hulking woman didn’t say a word, following my tentative backward steps with her bovine stare.

I wasn’t terrified, I was transfixed: I couldn’t determine whether she was real or not, whether she was going to rip my face off or just vanish into thin air.

She did neither this nor that: she just stood and watched, until I turned a corner and broke eye-contact with her.

As the days passed, I soon realized there was no tangible way to get rid of this damp woman lurking in the corners of the first floor.

All attempts at conversation were miserably lost in those vacuous eyes that stared at me from the moment I entered the room she decided to dwell in.

Slowly, but steadily, her presence was made manifest by the salty smell of things long dead at sea and the low gurgling sound that preceded thick, black drops of a vile liquid tumbling down her bluish lips.

Clerics of the Book, masters of old witchcraft and curious New Age gimps came and went, unable to see my unwelcome guest: their rituals useless, their theories wrong.

I know, and I suppose I have always known deep down, that seeing beyond is one of the woes that pave the path of knowledge, yet like a kid who stumbles upon the wolf den, I was uninitiated, unprepared.

I never chose to walk a path other than normalcy yet the floor below hosts the bloated husk who beckons the sea.

And tonight, of all nights, the slow, queer gurgle echoes up the staircase.