#and rhe today he did something dangerous ish with the locks on the house and he means soooo well i know but oh my god | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lilgynt · 3 years

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reasons i regret finding out i’m autistic

figuring out stimming outside of extreme duress has ruined my life. like feels wonderful love a good shake sesh so helpful in regulating my emotions stimming is SOO GOOD but now i have to purposely hold my hands in public bc i don’t feel like dealing with all that

figured out oh wow routines and set rhythms of the day help like. a lot. now i’m upset when theyre messed up 🙄 also now i’m neurotic mixed with routines

idk i had something for number three but idk it now. whatever finding out things in my life now make sense in context but now gotta deal with having said knowledge within society or whatever? also my tits got fatter and i got hotter after finding out or like whatever 🙄🙄

#personal #hello boys this post was brought to you by feeling extremely out of. wack bc i haven’t been able to do my weekly sheet washing for two weeks #first bc of my mom cleaning situation it was just easier to wait a week then try to juggle that into everything #and now yesterday my sheets didn’t get finished bc the washer won’t stop restarting itself 😢#i left them out to dry and #this is just me being insane #but my dad messed with them and i’m so fucking upset #like i hate being like this but also #as much love as i can say this but my father is so fucking disgusting it makes my brain itch thinking about him touching my stuff #and it’s like can’t you leave good enough alone for ONCE!!!!#like i was gone for FOUR hours and he had to mess with it #it feels like no matter where anything is or even asking i #him to leave it be he has to mess with your stuff and it’s just makes me so upset #like last time he touched my sheets he lost my pillow cover and i was so fucking angry cause i told him not to touch my stuff #i tried to be nice with it but he lost it and i got angry and i had a whole melt down #and rhe today he did something dangerous ish with the locks on the house and he means soooo well i know but oh my god #he means well and that’s the worst part. i love my father but god it’s hard having a 82 year old dad who’s kinda crazy.#it’s just so hard. and it has to suck for him worse #anywya i need to re wash those but can’t and my big blanket is still dirty and i don’t want to put on my other sheets cause it’s not time #to change the sheets onto the other ones yet and i’ve skipped most my monthly cleaning stuff bc of my moms friends visiting so deep clean #of the house ordeal that didnt even go through #anyway. that first statement is so real tho #like will never regret finding out mwah helped me so much but also leaning into stimming whenever it felt right has ruined my life i catch #myself at work like oh shit please be normaler oh god oh fuck #oh and basically being a fandom mom with special intrest. that DOES suck. love the intrest love how i love it hate how everyone else #interprets me liking it #anyway that’s my autistic rant of the day ur welcome #didn’t find this out per say but now i constantly think about it cause it’s like a trait but #SOOOOOOO fucking sexy how i just eat the same food all the time and don’t get sick of it

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