paolovalzania

[justalilhime]

Cw: (fictional) physical and emotional abuse

I find it so amusing that a lot of people when discussing YZY'a abuse of WWX either claim that it wasn't that bad (in fact, it was that bad, and it's even clearer in the lotus pod extra), that it was acceptable in that society's culture/is historically correct (ignoring the fact that the author is a modern person with modern values telling you through the text how fucked up that was and how in the text no one else exhibited the same behavior as her despite it being supposedly their right to; they had better morals and ethics than her) or that WWX was supposed to be singled out and endure the punishment because he was the Head Disciple and this is the point that really gets to me because... Why do people think YZY has any right to punish any disciple?

She forced her way into marrying JFM, then made it her personal mission to make everyone's lives hell with her entitlement and abuse (a side note: I do think most of JFM's passiveness and apathetic nature is actually a result of said abuse, a self-preservation mechanism of sorts, but that's both personal and topic for another post). YZY married into the clan and gave birth to two children, one of them the heir, but that's literally the only thing she does for YMJ. She rarely spends time at Lotus Pier, what little she spends there are unpleasant to everyone involved. Her vitriol poisoned JC against the values of his own clan, the one he's supposed to inherit, and made it impossible for JFM to even try to teach him (and I honestly commend him for still trying anyway, as seen post-Xuanwu incident). She disrespects the dead and drags their names as though they're trash — one of them being WCZ, who used to be a part of YMJ and (possibly) made good contributions to the clan, as he was let go peacefully. And, the most important of them, she rejects the title of Jiang-furen. She always goes by Yu-furen (a title that belongs to her older sister, not her; at best, by logic, if she was still in Meishan Yu, she'd be third madam Yu, instead of simply Yu-furen). While some may argue it's her way to fight patriarchy and show love for her natal clan, it's still downright insulting to the Jiang clan and her husband.

She chooses not to associate herself with them by name and behavior. She doesn't even share the same servants and lives in completely different quarters. But of course, despite all this, she still enjoys the power of being the madam of the Jiang clan. All because no one dares go against her, lest they become the next target of her hatred. That, too, is another form of her abuse. But she doesn't have the right to when she chooses to reject everything the Jiangs stand for.

So yeah, what she did to WWX was fucked up beyond imagination, because 1) he was a child, 2) it was abuse, and 3) she was using an authority and power she shouldn't have the right to after everything.

If you read this and come saying any "buts" I will block you, btw 😂 Unless you're a mutual, which we shall agree to disagree, but I won't discuss further if your opinion differs. I have no patience and no will to hear/read abuse apologism of any kind (again, for personal reasons). I just wanted to type out some thoughts. Thanks for reading I guess 😂

[andthereshegoess]

Jet-setting February 2013

February 2013,

It’s a lifetime experience that I will never forget.

My trip started at the end of January, 30th. I went to Xiamen, China for Syafiq’s Graduation. I have never been to China and it’s a very different experience.

One of the different thing would be; as soon as the plane landed on the ground, everyone unbuckle their belts and already trying to take their luggage from the overhead compartment. I was a bit mind-fuck because the stewardess had to use her back to hold the passenger and told them to get back to their seat.

Other than the language and the things that I expect.

I thought most of them could at least speak simple basic english but they don’t. they don’t even understand my sign language. In which made me regret for not finishing my Mandarin class and I realized that I suck at sign language. I can’t even tell the sales person where do I look for a towel.

I also expect for them to have small squinty eyes but no, their eyes were as huge and round as mine.

They drive on the left side of the car and they don’t have road rules. They just avoid whatever comes their way, so I guess the drivers are quite alert and you just got to be careful as to not get hit.

That Chinese food are just awesome because it’s halal so I can eat it. I don’t remember the name of the place but TAECO brought all of us there for the graduation dinner with everyone that was involve with the ceremony.

Things like Zara, Pull&bear, Bershka and so on is damn cheaper compare to the ones in Malaysia and there’s more variety too. So, I think shopping in Xiamen is better if you don’t think about the language barrier but if you speak Mandarin then, there’s nothing to stop you from going.

I went to Gulangyu Island. It’s a huge island that I didn’t get to discover all around but there were so many souvenir shop throughout the island. Most of them sell the same thing at the same price.

I expect myself to be back and to explore the island smartly the next time.

On the 5th Feb, my parents and I flew back to K.L but I only transit in K.L to get on my flight to London. Other than going back to Perth alone, flying to London would be my first trip overseas alone. Then again, there was a friend of mine waiting for me at the airport.

I was exhausted when I arrived on the 6th February, but when I saw my friend (abang) from afar, I was happy! and I got too nervous, I ran to the toilet and vomit. I stayed in London for a couple of hours, to sleep and waited for my friend to get his visa to the States. After lunch with his cousin, we hung out for a little while before heading to Portsmouth about 4.30pm.

We headed to Paddington train station, with the thought that the line would connect us to Portsmouth but we were wrong, we actually hadto go to Waterloo station to get to Portsmouth and it was during peak hours to Waterloo station using the underground line. It was an amazing experience but I was exhausted but I was trying hard not to be.

It was probably about 5pm when we reached Waterloo station and the train departed for about 6pm. At least I get to sit down for about 2 hours, talking to Abang along the way was quite hilarious too and sometimes I wonder why the hell am I here but at the same time, it was relaxing because it felt easy. Now, I don’t even think we could talk for more than 1 minute.

Before I left, I wanted to eat everything there is in the U.K. but when I was there, I don’t even know what happened to my appetite but I didn’t eat anything much. I know I had the dessert at Wharf Quay, and it was delicious.

In Portsmouth, we stayed over at Meera’s house and she actually waited for us since afternoon. We followed her to  rehearsal, it was quite nice actually and to watch her dor the real event but I didn’t get to. We had Ken’s Fried Chicken for dinner, it was too salty and the trick of  Towards the end of the day, I don’t really care about anything anymore. All I want to do was sleep for hours and hours and hours.

The next day, we went to town or city center and I sat at the fountain thinking about nothing and how exhausted I still am but I tried not to let it get to me because it was supposed to be a trip of exploring parts of England! While I was there, I learned to play pool too and I don’t think I like it because I actually don’t like the fact that my boobs touches the pool table every time I leaned over to take a shot. Haihs.

I spent two night in Portsmouth and the last day, we had lunch with Meera’s friend named Jon at a Seafood place. It was nice! and there was a bit of sightseeing of the ocean. I was damn cold. I do not want to be in Europe for winter again. I highly dislike it besides I love to hibernate during winter.

Anyways, we took the train and went to London. I got even more tired when we reached London. I honestly don’t know why I made this kind of trip. At first it was for this crazy life experience that I’ve always wanted to know how it’ll feel like. How does it feel to fly over from one continent to another. Well, I really did get what I wanted and it’s damn exhausting.

London was nice, we took a taxi from Waterloo Station to the hotel and I get to do a bit of sightseeing along the way. The hotel we stayed was 5 minutes from the Paddington Station and I was amazed that everything was actually so near. We walked everywhere and we had Noodle Oodle for dinner, it was delicious! I like the roasted duck. yums! I found my favourite place…. BOOTS! haha. Then, we walked to the hotel after dinner.

The next day, we went to British Museum and it was huge! I didn’t get to cover the whole area but that’s just another reason for me to go again the next time. There’s a list of things that I am going to do the next time. After the museum, we walked to Oxford street and Abang stopped to asked a lady for direction but Primark was just opposite the street. I wanted to laugh so bad that time but I was tired. hahaha. But somehow towards the end of the day, I turned moody and I was in no mood to talk to anyone. I realized that it made things awkward but I was too tired to care. I really am sorry for my behavior and I shouldn’t do that to people. Especially Nisya and Pedot because they took a couple of hours bus ride to get to London.

The last day in London, the only thing plan was check out and move to another hotel and the Chinese New Year Fireworks at Trafalgar Square. It was freezing! and the stupidest thing I did was to wear three layer of clothes and I didn’t wear my thermal wear. I guess now I know how the homeless feels, frozen to death. My jacket was wet because I wore the wrong one and I was stupid enough to not buy a new one when I was at Oxford Street.

The fireworks didn’t go long as expected and I guess because of the rain. It was devastating and I pity Jon because he was excited about it too, I guess he should come to Kuching for Chinese New Year. The fireworks would be  more awesome! but just suffer the consequences of the haze after!

Well, after the firework, we did a bit of speed touring like walked to get to the train station which passed by the London Eye, Big Ben and The Parliament *The Parliament house is where we can talk* I did took a few photos but I don’t have it with me right now and I don’t know when will I ever have it. Maybe just maybe, I am not going to have it and I’ll go to London to re-write this trip. By that time, I’ll post an even awesome trip.

After dinner, there was a bit of snow and I was soaking for my jacket is useless. I wanted to experience the snow so much and when I get it, I don’t like it! not even one bit! We sent Pedot to the Bus Station because she could only stay for a  night. But I’m thankful for her to visit me even it was for a night and I was being a moody bitch. I am so very sorry dot. Nisya stayed for another night and the three of us slept together and when she sleeps its kinda cute because she hides under the blanket.

Oh the second hotel overlooked the Hyde Park and I wanted to walked around there but with the weather being too cold for me to handle I would rather stay in bed or indoors but I didn’t do that much either. Oh, I fell in the tub and I called it Hyde Park!

The morning that I left, I was sad because I wanted so much to stay and really enjoy my trip, discover more places and eat all those desserts. It was such a rush trip and all I could feel was my exhaustion.

I arrived K.L on the 12th February morning and had teatime with Niessa at Bimmers, eating rojak ayam. Man! food never taste delicious as I didn’t eat the whole flight from London – Kul – Kch. My flight leaves to Kch at 8pm of the same day and I am so glad that I get to nap.

I slept through the entire flight from Kul – Perth. I arrived in Perth on 13th February at 5am and was glad that Nora pick me up. I stayed over Nora’s house for a couple of days, then to Deska’s and then to Waterford. I slept through the first 3 days that I was there. So there’s nothing much that I did there but to meet up with my movie partner, Denah, Dayah and Jas. I met up with Jas in London and  we both met up in Perth too. At least I get to eat the few things that I’ve been wanting to eat for the past 2 years.

Did a bit of cleaning at Waterford with Azri and it was kind of funny as a bug flew up my nose when I was cleaning the pantry.

I did a bit of shopping at Carousel, Harbor Town and City but I didn’t get to do anything else.

I was also in town for Fringe World Event. It was nice. Nora and I walked through Northbridge to take a look around, passing by Metros made me miss those days when everything was fun.

I left Perth on the 18th february 2013 and I was sad to be leaving Perth. It was home, it was a place where I sort of grew up. Well, I was raised and grew up in Kuching but a place where I explore life was in Perth and it’ll always be home.

To sum up the trip, it was awesome! I went from Asia to Europe to Australiasia. It was pretty damn exhausting but some time in the future, I’ll probably tell someone to never travel like how I did in February 2013. You could at least spent 1 week plus in one place and really enjoy  the place, the people and explore!