#and that 'am i still doug eiffel?' is the set up for 'wanna find out together?'

[commsroom]

when it comes down to it, however much i think about eiffel's memory, whatever my reasoning might be, i think there's a much simpler core explanation for why i feel the way i do. i've said before that, if eiffel did regain his memory, i would want it to happen through 'an eiffel version of change of mind' i.e. a personal inner journey where the narrative he tells himself amounts to some greater reminder, self-confrontation, and self-realization. and that's just it:

eiffel regaining his memory wouldn't be a cop out to me for the same reason that lovelace not actually dying isn't a cop out: it's not just a story beat, it's a catalyst for character development & a better understanding of lovelace as a person. eiffel has spent his whole life trying not to be the person he is, and i just don't feel wolf 359 is the type of story to let him off the hook for that, when the ending is as much about accountability (to ourselves and to others and all the ways those responsibilities overlap) as it is about hope. i think there are ways you could argue that eiffel can still be eiffel without regaining his memory, but i think i've convinced myself that the symbolic resurrection / self-confrontation and acceptance of all the people he's been in the past, in order to move forward, is the more compelling option, especially for what it parallels, and the "eiffel is still eiffel" part is non-negotiable. it doesn't even feel like a question to me.

(and it makes the most sense to me in the context of eiffel's survivor's guilt - "of course i was fine. the driver's always fine." - and tendency towards a type of self-sacrifice and self-punishment that the show ultimately denies him / that doesn't address his real problem. he thinks sacrificing himself for the people he cares about will make up for something, but it won't. having him make that sacrifice and then keep living and keep being doug eiffel, with everything that means, feels like the natural extension of constructive criticism.)

in another story, or in a more theoretical context, there are all kinds of questions you could ask about whether eiffel's memory loss means he's a different person now, but in this case... i think it's better understood in narrative terms and what it represents for him as a character than any broader philosophical conclusion about the nature of the self and human consciousness. (and it is in no way as absolute as people sometimes behave like it is, considering he still has a concept of, like... everything. but that's a whole other topic of discussion.) most importantly, i just don't believe wolf 359 is a story about ideas as much as it is a story about people, these people, and in order to (hypothetically) continue to tell a story about doug eiffel, well. he has to still be doug eiffel. one way or another.

[genderbinaryisforlosers]

*deep breath ready to spill all my thoughts on the finale*

*just screams*

okay but really my commentary is under the cut and i want you all to know that i cried my eyes out

"long-awaited finale" is right zach

oh no we're opening with a hera monologue

is the little girl pryce? the little girl is pryce

so pryce is much younger than cutter. i feel like that explains their dynamic a little

"it's so evil! and so planned!" dougery i love you

YEAH KEPLER PISS OFF

yes renée. just fucking leave. do it. please.

ok no but you gotta talk to the others about it properly my girl

"well that seemed... healthy..."

flaaashBACK flaaashBACK omg Day 1

ultraviolet angel douglas eiffel and his dumb cigarettes

destroy him daniel

eifflace feast!! theyre best friends

DO NOT ALCOHOL DOUG

good boy

awwwww my good kids

"do let it hit you on the way out" salty boi

"i'm not going anywhere" "yess" "nice!" "ughhh"

renée EVERYONE is joining are you kidding

"there's the minkowski i've been waiting on" "i knew she was in there somewhere"

"i'm starting to think these guys are my kind of stupid" I LOVE MY STUPID DEFECTOR SON

oooh more flashbacks. alanaaaaa awww

danny boyyyyy omg he was immediately ride-or-die for maxwell i'm love him

OH NO EIFFEL'S TALKING TO ANNE

HE LOVES HER SO MUCH AAAA (yeah fran you were right this reduced me to tears)

please hug, you two

"chin up, soldier"

MUSICAL NERDS AWWWW

...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

PLEASE RENÉE DON'T DO THIS

I WANT DOUGIE TO GET HOME AS MUCH AS THE NEXT LOSER BUT NO

HE CALLED HER R E N É E

SHE CALLED HIM D O U G

GOD DAMN YOU NO. RENÉE YOU NEED YOUR MISCHIEF SPECIALIST

he's in deep space a g a i n my poor boy

"it's very... us." "so reckless, dangerous, and practically guaranteed to fail?" "would you have it any other way commander?" "not in a million years hera"

awwww baby minkowki you nerd

hera is so cute!

B r a v e N e w W o r l d

eiffel's minkowski impression never fails to be hilarious

SURPRISE PARTY adladkdjksb

only bulletproof gays on this station

oh it's selberg hello doctor doom

lovelace's hephaestus got orientation? cushy

"i'm never going to be rid of you am i" LOL

noo dougie boy noo she just wanted to keep you safe

awww he's doing the imagination thing again

renée minkowski is a huge nerd and doug eiffel is her best nerd friend

i like to imagine that doug's process here was "what is the most unintentionally nerdy thing minkowski could set as her password" and then he went "ah yes, the roman name for Hephaestus, VULCAN"

a v i r u s

oh no. doug. dougie boy. d e c i m a

of course doug is the key. of course

CANNONBALL

eiffel i love you but that was most likely a huge mistake

oh no, hera has a Plan. all of her plans end in eiffel injury

post-episode note: oh god

"with my life, darlin" awwww

"you're gonna go do something stupid, aren't you?" "oh yeah"

yes isabel my love

"let's go get our idiot back" ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY

oh jacobi. hang in there buddy

aww bob rip. he's joining blessie in the star

“the pryce is right!” he's been waiting a while to use that pun

OH NO

YOU CAN'T TAKE HIS MEMORIES YOU BITCH LEAVE HIM ALONE

omg hera v pryce showdown in eiffel's brain

MINKOWSKI SHOT CUTTER. god bless

he can catch bullets are you FUCKING kidding

lmfao leuitenant commander renée minkowski just shoots her problems. it's the minkowski way

typing really, really fast

SHE HAS A HUMAN FORM AND ITS VERY NOT PRYCE

you can't take his memories. please. oh no. don't take annie from him.

please hera i believe in you but don't let pryce take anyone from doug

can't believe warren came through

his last act alive was to chug a whole bottle of scotch. which he just had on him. that's very kepler.

lovelace...?

SURPRISE!!

is jacobi...? :(

leave isabel alone. fuck you.

oh no she's so scared

OH

RENÉE

UHHHHHHHHHHHH GIRLS? YOU GOOD? ARE YOU GOOD???

leave. his. memories. alone.

gut shot. fuck. fucking gut shot. baby...

DID SHE JUST KICK HIM IN THE GUT DESPITE THE BLOOD POURING FROM HER ABDOMEN I LOVE HER

fight it isabel! yes! that's my girl!

and i feel minlace in this chilis tonight

D E S T R O Y E D

HARPOON MOTHERFUCKER

"nice" ajakdklfjs

"i'm just going to clip your wings a little" OOHHHHHHHHH YES REKT

big storm comin. brave new world.

EXCUSETH ME

DOUG YOU CAN'T

oh no. he's not gonna. remember. oh. no. oh no.

NO. NO NO NO.

…

r e n é e

…

oh jerkobi’s still alive!

“ignore him, he’s been insufferable” “ignore her, i’m wonderful”

HE’S LISTENING TO THE LOGS

oh dougie boy... you were more wonderful than you’ll ever know and you can be again, this love is eternal and will never die

“tell me you didn’t do all this just to win a bet” “totally worth it!” I LOVE HIM

she’s over the glitching!!! my girl!!!

“wanna find out together?” awwwww. brave new freakin world

*deep breath* okay. wow. i... don’t even know what to say. thank you, wolf 359 crew, for this incredible story. that feels like a stock sentence. words can’t properly convey all of my emotions right now. i can attach a photo of me crying if that helps. because i cried a lot. anywhere with a ‘...’ is where i was crying too much to write anything. if i ever manage to collect my thoughts i might post something more eloquent, but for now thank you and also fuck you

[commsroom]

Ok this is totally fix-it fic territory, just you're the only person I've seen who also doesn't love Eiffel's ending BUT What if after getting far enough away from whatever Cutter was using to block the dear listeners' abilities, Bob gives Eiffel his memory back. They have his brain almost completely copied after all. It would also be interesting to see him struggle with "would I really do THAT?" Like he just has such a hard time believing himself capable of growth and having positive impacts

oh, i honestly don't even think it's fix-it territory! i genuinely think he will regain his memory at some point; i think it makes narrative sense.

whether it's possible, with what the show sets up? the dear listeners are only invested insofar as it might impact the process, but, like you said, they could restore eiffel's memory. maybe even without active involvement. lovelace's blood was still working on eiffel (slowly, which might even make for a stronger case) a few days before the events of the finale, and memory is clearly a consideration in the 'pattern' of duplicates. maybe the regenerative properties apply to memory, too. and pryce scanned eiffel's brain back in ep 55, with the same kind of machine that was meant to instantly relay hilbert's memories back to canaveral; it's plausible there could be a backup.

... but even if none of that were the case! wolf 359 is a character drama, and what's important is what it says about eiffel. doug eiffel, who has spent so much of his life running from himself, whose character arc is about confronting and coming to terms with all of the people he's been, and his impact on the lives of the people he cares about. wiping his memory - if it's meant to be permanent - feels like a fulfillment of that wish, and it would be kind of. at odds with the themes of the show, when in every case it takes such a stance against attempted martyrdom. but as a set up for self-reflection and self-confrontation? i think it makes perfect sense, for someone who externalizes as much as eiffel does. i don't think restoring eiffel's memory is a cop out or fix-it any more than lovelace not actually dying is - it's not a tragic sacrifice, it's a narrative catalyst for character development. or, at least, that's how it makes sense to me.

i won't get too into the rest of my reasoning, since i know it gets long and it's mostly stuff i've talked about before, but! i do actually think the finale is a good narrative choice, i just feel differently about it than a lot of people seem to. maybe because the writers talk so much about their fondness for earned happy endings - that a happy ending is most impactful when you really think there won't be one - i just can't see wolf 359 as a tragedy. the simplified version: if "am i still doug eiffel?" is unanswered, then that's a whole set of unexplored themes. but if "am i still doug eiffel?" is a question with an answer - if the rest of the show, the repeated affirmation that other characters are who they decide they are despite their respective identity crises, the thematic context, "wanna find out together?", if all of that is the answer - then that final scene is an encapsulation and reaffirmation of the show itself. in my opinion, that makes for a really good ending.