#and that's. gonna take some dissecting in therapy. yippee. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fridayyy-13th · 2 months ago

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gotta say. landing myself a queerplatonic partner being the thing that really drives home "oh shit, i actually have very low self-esteem and don't understand why people hang around me other than shared interests we can geek out over together" is. truly something. hoo boy.

#friday chats #tw vent #i suppose #like it's like. you Love Me?? Huh??? Why?????#doesn't help they're an honors student with like a 3.8-something gpa while i. am on academic probation.#and will have to switch majors to general studies. bc i'm almost certainly getting dismissed from the english department.#and they know this! and were perfectly kind and gentle and reassuring when i broke down and admitted it!!#but that was before we became A Thing and i know my brother broke up with his last gf bc she wasn't applying herself in school enough #and it's stupid but that thought is stuck in my head and won't leave.#i just. honestly don't know what they see in me?? and i don't even know why they're giving this a shot.#they're allo. and gay. and i am aroace and not a man. but the second i admitted i liked them (/qp) they reciprocated??#on all accounts this should not have worked out in my favor.#like i believe them when they say they're all-in on this qpr thing. but i don't understand Why.#and that's. gonna take some dissecting in therapy. yippee.#but just like in general. it was easy enough to not think about when all i had were friends yknow #but now that someone's expressing mutual affection of This Intensity it just. doesn't compute in my brain #having a bit of a ''when he sees me'' moment i suppose. to reference the musical they've been buzzing about for weeks.#idk. that's what's going on with me i guess

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