#and thats why meenah stole the ring of life

[cringefail-clown]

wait did ghosts who landed on earth c in the candy timeline disintegrate into nothingness or nah i didnt read the candy in full yet but it is an IMPORTANT info for me

[thewebcomicsreview]

Oh hey, Homestuck 2 updated! I was expecting this to be an 11/11 update since that's a Homestuck arc number, but it's the least important of those by far.

Egads! What a despicable plan, devised by a devilish dame with a dastardly disposition. The wretched wiles of a wayward woman with a penchant for the wicked. A hullabaloo most hideous and heinous, hammered out by-

One of the biggest mysteries of Homestuck 2 is who's narrating Candyland with Calliope gone, and the more narration-heavy style of the new team is really calling attention to that. This is very flanderized Jake English dialogue. Also a dramatically more active Jake English than we've seen all...ever?

Under no circumstances can you allow her to get to The Point.

Gonna have fun with that MacGuffin name, huh, writers? It occurs to me that Jake was supposedly a spy the whole time but this is the first indication that he's actually been telling the resistance anything instead of just calling himself a spy as a cope.

I like this art a lot. But also what the hell is Meenah doing here? Last time we saw her, in the epilogues, she was out in space and stole the Ring of Life from John before escaping into a server beacon. Did it lead her into the black hole (lmao get owned), or is this an alternate timeline ghosts? Are her eyes closed in order to drag out that reveal?

JAKE: Shit, sergeant! Cant you add her to the groupcrab? MEENAH: groupcrab MEENAH: cod damn thats good MEENAH: i just been callin em prawnference calls

As fish puns go, "Prawnference calls" is excellent.

MEENAH: idk but hypothetically speaking if i was posted up in my big mean bitch pants just gettin my empress on and you told me insturgeonts were tryin to shore up on some kinda mythic skaian artifact

So, Meenah has her eyes closed to prevent me from knowing if this is the alpha version or a doomed ghost, and now she's dropping very vague hints about what the plot point is. This does feel very homestuck, in that it's teasing out the reveals to maximize speculation. Skaia is, of course, related to SBURB, and thus this is confirmation of the fandom assumption that they're going to start a new game, without actually saying much else.

I have no idea why this air vent is Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff style, but Vriska kicking the sound affect is still funny.

The comedy quotient has increased notably under the new team.

VRISKA: John, she's a Vriska. She can handle herself! I'm sure she can take anything this fake-ass timeline can throw at her! JOHN: what?

Wait, John doesn't know? I thought "Everyone 'knows' candyland is fake and that why they're acting so weird they're just LARPing" was kind of my headcanon for a lot of the weirder candy stuff.

VRISKA: This whole universe is like someone's shitty RP, and everyone's out of character! None of this reads! VRISKA: Like, who the FUCK is Yiffy!!!!!!!! Why should I or anyone CARE????????

I'm so meta even this acronym

JOHN: a long time ago i was supposed to go back and defea- VRISKA: SNOOOOOOOORE! VRISKA: Your ecto-human-guardian-si8ling or whatever is pro8a8ly sending a squad of 8ozos to apprehend your ex as we speak. So I say the less we talk and the sooner we 8low this gru8sickle stand, the sooner we can get there 8efore we lose access to our shortcut. JOHN: yeah when you spell it all out like that i can see what y- JOHN: wait, WHAT!!! JOHN: why didn't you just say that earlier?! VRISKA: John. That's what I've 8een doing this whole time! VRISKA: Now, c'mon! Race you there!!!!!!!!

I don't ship them or anything, but this John/Vriska dynamic where John is kind of the oblivious straight man to all this wacky nonsense is one that Homestuck has been very light on since Act 6.

That was a good update. It was funny, it moved the plot along, and it gave us stuff to speculate about! And the art was really good!

[pesterloglog]

Vriska Serket, Meenah Peixes

Act 6, page 7841-7843

VRISKA: Ok! That little point of 8usiness is done.

VRISKA: Thanks for 8earing with me. Executing this whole strategy has turned out to 8e a really am8itious project!

MEENAH: nice watch dealie

MEENAH: how much that worth

VRISKA: How much?

VRISKA: I have no idea. I guess it depends on a lot of things, like the units of currency, the presumption of an actual market for it, its scarcity... honestly I just alchemized the thing quite easily, and some8ody else pro8a8ly could too.

MEENAH: god dammit that answer was too complicated

MEENAH: got a fuckin professor of economics over here

VRISKA: Are you saying you want to 8uy my spider watch??

MEENAH: na serk

MEENAH: spider swag aint my kettle of fish

VRISKA: I didn't think so!

VRISKA: Anyway, like I was saying, that takes care of that.

VRISKA: At this point I think we could use a de8riefing. Would you care to do the honors?

MEENAH: wat

VRISKA: Regarding the mission you were previously involved with, which I can only presume gradually fizzled out.

VRISKA: Securing this weapon, searching for a lost cheru8, and raising an army to defeat Lord English?

MEENAH: ooh right

MEENAH: man

MEENAH: T)(AT old thing

MEENAH: yeah i can debrief

MEENAH: i aint much a storyteller tho

MEENAH: much to the lament of my former bestie

VRISKA: That's fine!

VRISKA: I don't need you to dazzle me here.

VRISKA: I just want the fucking scoop.

MEENAH: thats why youre the top serk 38)

MEENAH: ...

MEENAH: .........

MEENAH: hey

VRISKA: What?

MEENAH: can i ask a kinda personal question

MEENAH: i mean not even that personal but whatev

VRISKA: Sure...?

MEENAH: how old are you

VRISKA: Uh,

VRISKA: Almost seven and a half sweeps.

VRISKA: Getting close to eight!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: I pro8a8ly sound like a fucking nerd, 8ut I've 8een excited a8out reaching that milestone pretty much my whole life.

MEENAH: 7.5 huh

MEENAH: i guess thats a lil more respectable

VRISKA: More respecta8le than what?

MEENAH: nofin

MEENAH: change of subject

MEENAH: that old ass mission...

MEENAH: so yeah we all piled in a damn pirate ship and sailed around the ring in this huge circle

MEENAH: english followed us and wrecked shit as he went

MEENAH: that helped us chart a path to the treasure somehow

MEENAH: like using black maps and junk

MEENAH: with like

MEENAH: cartographic calculations and scopes and fuckin sextants and whatnot

MEENAH: im not even sure how but that weird ass idea actually worked

MEENAH: we found the treasure

MEENAH: well YOU did

MEENAH: but you were also kinda goin nuts and driving everyone away from the crew

MEENAH: i stuck around though cause i didnt give a flying glub

MEENAH: aranea bailed though

MEENAH: she caught wind of that magic ring and i guess it got to her

MEENAH: the delusions of grandeur about being alive again and doing relevant shit

MEENAH: so she ollied out and stole it and made the most embarrassing mess of things i ever heard of anyone doin ever

MEENAH: she totally failed in whatever she was trying to do

MEENAH: got the ring ganked from her then died again

MEENAH: i never saw or heard from her ever since and tbh i dont really want to

MEENAH: that left just me and you

MEENAH: well OT)(-ER you

MEENAH: tryin to figure out what to do with this deadly box a treasure

MEENAH: basically we couldnt decide on anything

MEENAH: and were feelin pretty flat on the plan overall

MEENAH: so we just gave up and wandered off to do other shit for a while

MEENAH: and you... i mean she...

MEENAH: mellowed WAY the fuck out

MEENAH: which was actually sorta cool for a bit but also sorta...

MEENAH: k never mind that

MEENAH: we just kept bubble hopping for i dont even know how long

MEENAH: which got uh

MEENAH: reely boring after a while 38\

MEENAH: i never had the thump tortoise to tell her though

MEENAH: uh i mean until now

MEENAH: in fact i pretty much just forgot about the whole plan until you showed up

MEENAH: you made it sound pretty cool again so i was like

MEENAH: yeah im on board

MEENAH: and thats bassically the whole story

MEENAH: oh

MEENAH: yeah...

MEENAH: and that "lost cherub" part of the plan

MEENAH: afaik that was a bogus red distraction fish and she probably dont matter at all

MEENAH: guess thats everything

VRISKA: Good recap!

VRISKA: At least you 8oth had the presence of mind to hang on to the weapon.

VRISKA: Now it's up to us to use it.

VRISKA: What a8out this army though?

VRISKA: It still sounds like an important part of the plan to me.

VRISKA: Having just the two of us walk str8 up to Lord English, cold go88lefiend... that sounds like a recipe for disaster, weapon or no weapon.

VRISKA: An army of ghosts throwing everything they've got at him sounds like a gr8 strategy.

VRISKA: Like, a sort of 8uffer, giving us a little space to get ready to deploy the weapon when he seems vulnera8le.

MEENAH: yeah that makes sense

VRISKA: Do you think we pick that up where we left off?

MEENAH: man

MEENAH: dunno

MEENAH: that was one of the things that made us wonder if it was even worth bothering anymore

MEENAH: it was mostly this whole mind control stunt

MEENAH: apparently aranea was towing most of the load there???

MEENAH: then she peaced the hell out and got owned

VRISKA: I see.

VRISKA: Then yeah, this is going to 8e a little trickier than I thought.

VRISKA: Why don't we 8rainstorm on it for a while?

MEENAH: aight