#and the most important: what’s happening in japan seb????

[sebnameyourcar]

seb saying in this article that he has “something big planned for Japan” re: race without a trace & sustainability projects 👀👀👀

[hurricane-heatt]

Hi!! For the trope mash up I'd love to see your take on time travel + soul mates for Sewis

on ao3 here!

heheee thank you for this i got far too carried away - its under the cut but it might be easier to read on ao3! its late here so if there's mistakes you dont see them oops.

seb centric, the vague idea is that in every version of events lewis is there and they will always be together. sappy evil love shit

i really hope you enjoy!

this is rated t for brief allusions to sex!

maybe tomorrow you'll know

The voice asks him, what do you wish for most in the world? It asks Sebastian in 2009, champagne soaked in the aftermath of a beautiful Japan podium with Lewis Hamilton and Jarno Trulli. Sebastian answers the voice plainly; I want to know. 

The first place it takes him is only a year in the future - the top of the podium in Abu Dhabi. He only confirms it as his body turns around and reads the back panel but there’s a kind of instinct that thrums through him, a knowing. He’s a Formula One World Champion. There’s much more champagne and it’s soaked into his bones. 

This part isn’t really important, says the voice. But I wanted you to know.

Thank you.

The world moves in slow motion, so he drinks it all in. His body turns to the side and he’s face to face with Lewis Hamilton again, as though it were still 2009, and Lewis was pouring 2009 champagne down his 2009 back.

Lewis is close, leaning in and whispering something in his ear. 

That is the only thing, laments the voice. I can’t let you hear anything, it’ll impact what you do in the present day. Sorry about that. 

It’s okay, says Sebastian, maybe out loud but he doesn’t feel his lips move. 

He doesn’t really feel anything at all, except bright, shining happiness. Lewis grins at him, so cheerful, brown eyes full of warmth. His face is soaking wet as Sebastian feels himself lift his own arm up, and pour more champagne over Lewis. He blinks it out of his eyes and smiles even wider.

The image before his eyes changes. It’s a crowded, flashing room, and oh no, the vision isn’t coming into focus. Sebastian’s drunk. He’s aware of himself in this state, at least, but he can’t prevent anything from happening, trapped as though in a roller coaster seat - voluntarily releasing control.

This entire thing feels like drunk memories, actually.

The voice doesnt laugh. Hm, that’s funny. You can’t interfere, I’ve made sure.

Okay.

Someone claps him on the back, someone pushes him to the dance floor, there’s hands all over him and he’s being torn in one direction or another. It’s violently overwhelming but, he supposes, he’s drunk. He hardly cares.

He feels a hand take his, the first of all the hands to do so, palm meeting palm, sweating onto another’s skin in an oddly intimate way. It pulls with a newfound strength and out of the crowd Sebastian goes, tucked into a corner. It’s Lewis Hamilton. He’s biting his lip and looking nervous but the way he stands, on a sort of lopsided tilt, tells Sebastian he’s drunk too. So anything they both say or do hardly matters. 

Lewis keeps a hold on his hand. Sebastian squeezes Lewis’ hand back, and then leans in so close to his face it’s ridiculous. And then he kisses Lewis square on the mouth.

Again, autonomy, and so Sebastian can’t taste the drink on Lewis’ tongue but he can feel his lips, his hand still in his. It’s tender and it’s sweet, for how intoxicated they are. Maybe if it were Sebastian’s own body, he’d feel fireworks, or sparks, or some other explosive feeling, but he only knows the vague but brilliant happiness that stretches through him, head to toe. It’s like his conscious mind doesn’t have room for any more.

You’d be right. 

Oh, really? 

Yeah. Sorry, though. I have to show you every version of this, though. To make it fair. 

Sebastian might’ve frowned in confusion but instead he says, alright then. 

So, the vision changes again and instead of being on top of the podium he’s below. Mark has taken the top step. Mark’s a world champion. Instead of the relentless joy from before, the feeling is misery, entrenched in his skin not by champagne but by Rocky’s face in his ear, saying something Sebastian still can’t hear. He probably can’t even hear it in the real, living moment - the crowd’s mouths move as though they are yelling and chanting and cheering.

Sebastian’s aware of an ache in his leg. Maybe he crashed out, the pressure building and building and finally he toppled. It doesn’t sound like him but it sounds like an explanation.

I should’ve done this one first, really.

It’s okay, I guess.

His eyes close, as if it hurts too much. Maybe the leg, maybe the view. He’s sure he’s said his congratulations to Mark. He’s sure.

Luckily the whole place swims away before Lewis can tip a bottle over Mark’s head. He’s back in the room with the flashing lights and colours, now, but instead of being in the throng of people, tossed around like a ‘pass the parcel’, he’s in the corner, drink half empty in hand. Mark seems elated. You would be, wouldn’t you, if you were the World Champion?

His vision is still blurry, though.

Instead of pulling Sebastian out of the mess, Lewis walks past him, this time. Rather than giving Sebastian a smile, his usual grin, the gap in his teeth that makes him look so boyish and sweet, he puts a hand on Sebastian’s bicep, leans in, says something that is probably ‘sorry’. The same kind of nervous energy as before radiates from him - his feet are tapping, he rolls his shoulders back and forth a couple of times. He’s anxious about something, and if only Sebastian could hear! 

But before he can begin to lip read, Lewis leans in, and presses a kiss to Sebastian’s mouth, suddenly as if his brain was going to stop him. It’s the same as before - tender, kind. Safe and warm. He knows it. 

Oh. That’s nice of him.

Isn't it? I’ve got to take you somewhere else now. Are you ready?

Lewis pulls away, dark eyes looking into Sebastian’s. He can read his lips. ‘Was that okay?’ And Sebastian knows his answer, even if he doesn’t feel himself saying it, only watching the spread of Lewis’ worried mouth rise into his cheeks, skin dimpling.

He doesn’t see anymore of that scene. It distorts and ripples and suddenly something flows through his skin, some confusing feeling. It’s loss. It’s pride. It’s happiness and longing, all at once, as is revealed to him as he’s sat on the step of a podium balcony, looking up at the sky. There’s tears in his eyes, his cheeks are wet as he touches them with his hands. He doesn’t know why he feels all these strange things, until he looks downward for a second, and sees his racesuit is bright red. 

Oh!

He looks back to the sky, and some things fall into place. He’s a driver at Ferrari, it's all he’s ever wanted. But then, what’s this bittersweet feeling? He can’t figure it out. But, he feels an arm wrap around him, and it’s Lewis. He looks older, here, though his body doesn’t turn to check the date. He wears white and an obnoxious turquoise colour, rather than the white and red of Mclaren.

Sebastian keeps on crying, and he doesn’t know why. Lewis sits with him the whole time, and somehow he’s aware of his eyes always on him, watching, waiting. For what, he’s not sure.

A scene shift, without the voice commanding, so it must be a continuation of this same life. It’s of a dimly lit hotel room, Sebastian’s own, surely, with the Ferrari cap slung on the vanity. He sees himself in the mirror, and it’s a quaint feeling - a body that isn’t yours yet. His hair is a little darker, maybe, he’s got some kind of facial hair too. He looks broader but better for it. He shines. It’s a thrilling feeling to know this might be a future he inhibits, one he lives through. 

He stops looking at himself, turns to face the other person in the room. Which is. Lewis? Lewis, with his shirt off, grinning like a madman. He says something and Sebastian feels something new run through him, something hot and dangerous. He drinks in the sight of Lewis, and he can’t tell whether it’s the present him or the new him. His tattoos look good painted over his muscles. And of course, he’s seen his Lewis with his shirt off, changing rooms are small before you’re in F1, and even then, there’s glimpses of skin when overalls are unzipped. This is new. This is deliberate. 

The future Sebastian reaches a hand out, trails down Lewis’ sternum, and he blinks slowly, surely enjoying the feeling. Desire grows, spreads through Sebastian’s body to his fingertips. It may be selfish but the voice could leave him here, to gaze at whatever happens next.

Can I show you the other version?

I suppose.

The vision changes. This time, he’s standing on the top of the podium, and it’s Abu Dhabi. He knows the view from the podium well by now, and as he faces the back to spin for a photo, it’s 2015. Red fireworks light up the sky and yet, he’s still crying, teeth biting at his lower lip as he lets all the emotion pour out over him, over every spectator, over every star in the sky. He runs to the edge of the balcony. His gloved hands grip the metal railing as he leans over, lifts one to wave down to the crew, wave down to the car, even, the beautiful red machine. He’s won a World Championship for Ferrari.

This isn't fair. How will I know which one happens? What if I want this one more?

Sorry, Sebastian.

It’s the first time the voice addresses him by name. There’s a lingering doubt but when a hand appears on the small of his waist, it’s Lewis again. His eyes are shining and his damn smile. He’s got his cap on backwards and he looks unbearably charming. He’s handsome, some boyish charm replaced by that of a man’s handling of himself. If it’s possible to blush in your subconscious, Sebastian, watching through a possible future him’s vision, he does so. Lips read ‘Well done, man.’ Pure, childlike glee is all over him - he’s done it, and Lewis is by his side.

Snap. The picture changes, just like that, and it’s that dim hotel room again, not the same, but similar anonymous, abstract paintings, beige furniture, popcorn ceilings. Sebastian is looking at himself in the mirror again, and next to his Ferrari cap is a trophy that is glittering in gold. When he spins, it’s Lewis again, who leans in and tells him something, assumedly the same thing as the previous imagination. The previous future, he reminds himself. He’s going to be a Ferrari World Champion.

I’ll have to stop, if you make predictions.

I didn’t know that was a rule?

Well it is. And anything else the voice says is drowned out by Sebastian admiring Lewis again, committing the vision of his perfectly shaped body to his memory, to take back once his wish is over. He never wants it to be over.

Let’s move on, I don’t think this was a good idea.

Spoilsport, but Sebastian doesn’t say this to the voice. Instead, he blinks, and he’s in the car. He’s behind a Mercedes, his brain knows this, and it's a yellow flag, which explains why they’re going unbearably slow. Suddenly, the front of Sebastian’s car touches the rear of the Mercedes. Has the driver just brake tested him? What a prick. His own action shocks him, though. He pulls out, during the safety car, no less, and bumps the side of the car, on purpose. One hand in the air the whole time, waving indignantly. It’s surprising and it’s a little nasty but also, subconsciously, Seb thinks he’d do it if it were his 2009 self in that car right now.

It’s a weird thought, if he lingers on it. This might be him, in reality. In a distant future, this could be him, bumping into the side of a Mercedes because they brake checked him. And god, wait. Is this Lewis? Nico was the other on the podium when he was crying, in the same attire as Lewis. It’s not a Nico move really, but it hardly feels like Lewis. His blood runs a little cold at the prospect.

He assumes, however bad and naive that might be, that he and Lewis had sex in that hotel room. They got to see the most beautiful and simultaneously the most vulnerable parts of one another. This is really going to ruin whatever’s going on between them. 

A worse idea, then - what if it’s already spoiled? Perhaps they have some bitter rivalry, some horrid, toxic thing that drives them apart, and that’s why Lewis did it, and that’s why Sebastian did it, and they’re never going to be nice to each other again-

I don’t know if this is beneficial for you.

Sebastian’s vision cuts to black, just for a split second, and the scene happens all over again, like a highlights reel. The bump on his car, the acceleration to swerve out and into the Mercedes in front. It’s torture, having no control over it all, a passenger in his own future body. He wants to jump out, and maybe he won’t stop it but he’ll just ask, why? Why did we do that? 

This isn’t right, can you- can you make it go away?

There’s a bit left, Sebastian. Hold on. Sorry.

They’re now in the press conference room, staring at an array of cameras and journalists. There’s some Sebastian recognises, looking a little grey around the edges now. It’s strange to see other people’s future too. They must ask a question because Sebastian nods through it, his subconscious wincing at the flashes of light directed straight at him. There’s one reassuring thing, then - he gets used to the feeling and doesn’t flinch anymore, and, he’s still got a job after whatever occurred between his car and the damn Mercedes.

There’s a lot more journalists than usual, though, that’s to be expected after a stunt like that. When he looks over the rest of the panel, there’s a blonde driver he doesn’t recognise, and there’s Lewis, separated as if they’ll kick off and squabble like children if they’re sat too close together. It must’ve been his car, then, not Nico’s. The realisation makes his stomach churn. But then some journalists get up, and then more, and the other driver kicks his chair out and walks off as if he’s exhausted. It must be over, then. Sebastian can only imagine it was painful. 

Lewis looks at him, tilts his head, something too fast for the Sebastian watching to catch and translate. The room is nearly empty. Sebastian can feel the general presence of Britta, and another short blonde woman, donned in a Mercedes polo, talking by the door. Must be Lewis’ Britta, maybe. They’re waiting for them to leave, but all Sebastian wants to do is to jump into this timeline and fix things. 

Or maybe, things are okay already, as Sebastian takes one look around, and offers out his hand. Not in a handshake, but as though reaching for a friend. For a lover. Maybe for just someone he trusts, and Lewis takes it. As soon as he does, it’s like a wave of relief crashes over Sebastian, drowning him in the best way possible. He feels cleansed when Lewis strokes his thumb, feels so much lighter when he squeezes and shouts something to his assistant, who’s laughing with Britta. God, they must be stupid, and worse than that, so obvious. It makes Sebastian unimaginably happier than before, when he was sitting in that car, thinking he was somehow karmically doomed to watch his own stupid mistakes forever.

How do you feel now?

Better.

Good. There’s two more to go. Are you ready?

Again, the voice doesn’t really wait for an oral confirmation. The Lewis in front of him disappears, and then Sebastian is sat looking at a laptop screen. There’s no words to describe the feeling under his skin now. It feels like the darkest day of his life, though the sun shines so bright it makes a glare on the screen. He’s exhausted, he’s upset, but mostly, if he were to try and explain it, he’s frustrated. God knows what with. If it’s the future, maybe he’s still at Ferrari, and the car isn’t doing well.

I suppose this is cheating.

Sebastian doesn’t know what the voice means, until he watches himself click some buttons on the screen, and open a Word document. This isn’t really his job, if he’s writing a team statement. Usually  he just emails his guys a general idea of his feelings over an incident and they make it media friendly. His hands tap on the keyboard without clicking anything, as if he’s thinking, lost in thought.

Then, he finally commits to typing.

I, Sebastian Vettel, formally announce my retirement from Formula One at the end of the 2020 season. 

He gasps in his subconscious. He’s retiring? But it feels so early, so soon. Something’s gone badly wrong, because how could he want to retire? He’s in Ferrari. He’s won a fucking championship for them, how, why would he want to give up now? 

What did I tell you about predictions?!

No, please. I’m sorry.

We’ll have to move on.

Please!

Cut to black for a moment, and then he’s back. Sebastian’s still in his garden, looking at his laptop. God, this isn’t going to be like the last one, is it, where he sits and watches his career crumble in front of him, over and over? 

He notices, now, a distinct lack of people. There’s a feeling of deep loneliness that follows, an unfamiliar feeling, really. You’re always around people in the paddock, whether it be your pit crew, your mechanics, journalists and fellow drivers. Where’s Lewis? For the first time in all these revelations, he’s absent from Sebastian’s future. It makes him worry a little.

Another thing; the sun is too bright for winter break in Switzerland, too warm when it would usually be icy enough to freeze the garden furniture to the ground, too cold to sit outside. He can’t make any sense of it - he shouldn’t be at home at this time during the racing season. There’s a general unease that surrounds him, accompanied by the same biting feeling of frustration. He watches his fingers drag the mouse over applications and files and he waits in anticipation, for the Word document to open and for him to write his own eulogy, if he were feeling particularly dramatic about it.

Instead, 2020 Sebastian opens something called Zoom, he’s not familiar with the name in his present subconscious. But the new him seems to have the hang of things; he pulls up a list of contacts, scrolls to H. Lewis Hamilton. Another fresh tide of relief. Lewis is still here, in this weird, messed up future.

He’s got a recently answered call from Mattia Binotto in his activity, but neither present day or 2020 Sebastian seem to care that much as Lewis’ face fills the screen. He’s glitchy in places but it’s absolutely him, just with longer hair that frames his face in twists, piercings in his ears and one even in his nose, some more tattoos. He’s not got a top on, and Sebastian must make a joke about it as he laughs and sinks beneath the screen, so Sebastian can only see his eyes. He can tell Lewis is still laughing, corners of his eyes crinkling. It must cheer Sebastian up a hundred times over - he can feel the anger easing and fading the longer Lewis is on screen.

I can’t let you watch it all.

I know, but. I like it here.

And he does, even if he’s still received terrible news in this timeline. Lewis’ lovely, smiling face has made it better, if not all of it then at least the fresh pain that hurts the worst. Their conversation turns serious at points, both of their faces frowning and then speaking. At the end of it, though, when Lewis waves goodbye through the screen, smiling his usual smile, little gap in his front teeth, he feels marginally better than before. He so hopes this is the right one, that this is the future Sebastian chooses.

Although, the general panic and anxiety is still in his future body’s chest as though it’s permanent now, something Lewis’ face can’t alleviate. He still doesn’t understand the weather, the need to talk to Lewis through a funny computer program rather than go and see him in the garage next door.

It’s best not to know until then, really.

Sebastian takes the voice’s word for it. Can you show me the last one?

Of course.

Something about the new scene appearing before him makes it obvious it’s his last memory. He’s at the top of a corridor of sorts, only the walls are drivers. It’s a strange set up but there’s a sense of gratefulness mixed with the humour he finds in awkward situations such as these. There’s a few drivers he recognises, some he doesn’t, as he walks through the aisle. No Mark, he notices, but he sort of expected that; he was a bit older than Sebastian. Although, saying that, there’s Fernando, sporting some kind of mullet, dressed head to toe in yellow. What’s strange is that everyone is very far apart, and he’s fistbumping them all, which isn’t a very Sebastian thing to do. He doesn’t think, since his birth, that his present day self has ever fistbumped anyone.

His gloves are red when they reach to brush another driver’s.

When he reaches Lewis, he’s at the end of the line, with another blonde man next to him that absolutely isn’t Nico Rosberg, Lewis’ corners of his eyes smile like on the video, replacing the lower half of his face which is covered up. Sebastian longs, then, and he isn’t sure which version of himself wants it more - everything’s mixed up inside and out and oh, maybe he’s crying. There’s a strange sense of abandonment that is resting on him; he’s not finished yet. He wants to give so much more, and more than that, he wants Lewis’ arms around him.

Ah. The lines are blurring. We need to move on before any permanent damage is done.

No, no. please. Let me stay here. 

Let me stay here, looking at beautiful Lewis, who’s hands twitch under his race gloves as if he wants to touch Sebastian too. But then it all stops, and Sebastian is back at the start of the corridor. This time, everyone is closer together. He walks down, sees some familiar faces from the other lineup, but the colours of some people’s suits are different. They’re in a different order. There’s two Ferrari drivers in red, rather than just one, but he doesn’t recognise either. 

Sebastian’s own raceuit is green, when he looks down to not trip over a driver’s foot. He wonders if Jaguar has made a comeback, but then there’s Red Bull, and so no, that can't be right. The future is a funny place, it seems.

There’s even one driver that, God, is the spitting image of Michael’s little boy. Bright blonde hair, blue eyes in the shape of his father’s. Everyone’s clapping around him and so his future body pays special attention to the could-be Mick, his present mind trying to figure out if it's really him.

You’ll find out, Sebastian. No more predictions.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

He finds Lewis about halfway down, rather than all the way, and while he’s been clapping the hands of the rest of the driver’s, which is at least a little more intimate than a fistbump, he can lean in, properly, for a hug from Lewis. His body is firm under Sebastian’s, solid and familiar. Like he’s been this close to Lewis a million times over. 

And Lewis is the only one he gives such a close embrace to, and it’s such an overwhelming piece of knowledge that present Sebastian feels like crying. He can’t influence these things, seemingly, so his future self holds it together, somehow. Lewis says something, inches apart from Sebastian’s ear, he can feel his breath hot there. This familiar feeling is all over his body now, and it’s absolutely, certainly, love, whole and pure and Sebastian knows it as soon as he pulls apart and Lewis’ eyes are wet. 

He hopes he’s told Lewis. Or he hopes he will. Maybe Lewis has just said it to him.

We’ve got to go now, Sebastian. 

Okay. Thank you.

He takes one last look at Lewis, and he knows, somehow, in a way that the voice would probably chastise him for. He knows what’s right, which timeline is his. And there’s no certainty, when he wakes up in his hotel bed, note on the side from Britta detailing his wild night out that ended up with him blacked out, that it happened at all. Whether it was some elaborate dream, alcohol fuelled.

Sebastian doubts it. He saw Lewis in every single imagination and yet. He knows.

[vro0m]

vro0m's rewatch - 188/332

2016 Abu Dhabi GP

Alright people it's time for the heartbreak. Lewis is on pole again. It's the 4th time in a row. 

Simon says Ricciardo said if he was Lewis he'd try to back Nico up. Brundle claims Lewis has been playing psychological games since that Thursday and then he corrects himself and says basically for the last few races given how dominant he's been (how is that playing games lol). Here's the issue. Lewis doesn't only need to win to get the title, he also needs Nico to not be on the podium. So by that logic he effectively has to play games. Here's the top 10 on the grid then : Lewis, Nico, Ricciardo, Raikkonen, Seb, Verstappen, Hulkenberg, Perez, Alonso and Massa.

Lewis says all he can do is make sure he's prepared to the best of his ability but also anything can happen. She asks him how he felt getting up that morning and he says amazing but he's won on days he's felt bad, and on days he's felt good, and lost on both as well. He feels blessed to have another beautiful day, to be fit and healthy. He feels great. 

Nico is not wearing his fireproof shirt under his opened suit. It's a weird sight I wasn't prepared for. He feels good as well. 

Of course we're getting a double interview as well. Lewis starts by saying his goal was always to be in Formula 1 and be recognized as one of the best (that's interesting to hear, I feel like he's been a bit more coy about that lately) as Ayrton was. 

Nico says he's proud of his season, it was one of his best in F1. Loads of race wins and loads of special moments. He says the turning point was the races around Japan, Singapore. Great moments for him, he says.

We hear again Lewis’ reaction on radio when his engine caught on fire in Malaysia. He says he had already pushed the radio button and he was feeling what he was feeling and so it was his natural reaction. He didn't know the radio was on, he says. He says there were trying times during the year. 

Nico says he's sure his family has helped him do even better this year because it's put things into perspective because family is the most important thing in the world and not racing, and he's just arrived at the track happier. 

Lewis says every year you're faced with negative things that happen in your life and you can't dwell on it, you need to turn it around (I'm filtering them because they annoy me but he's already said ‘whilst’ like half a dozen times in this interview). He thinks this year the things he's had to turn around have been bigger and greater than in the past. 

Okay so I didn't think it was relevant so I didn't write it down but every answer is prompted by some kind of title (like Lewis’ last was “balls of negativity” and Nico's was “perspective”). This one is “Uncle Terry & the moral victor” and it's weird enough that I think I need to mention it. Lewis says he never heard a champion say he was the “moral victor” (he does air quotes) “that's just ridiculous you know?” What is this even about lol. He says he doesn't know if he's ever heard anyone say that, then he says his uncle Terry does “when we play golf and he loses”. He says he knows what he holds in his heart, what he's worked for, what he and his guys have worked for, what they have achieved as a team etc. He knows what they've earned. They'll all hold it in their hearts and know what they've earned and whether they've deserved it or not. 

Nico says he's sure he's gonna get Keke’s usual SMS words of wisdom, that usually are “pedal to the metal this weekend”. He's not coming, he prefers to stay in front of his three screens to have an oversight of everything, and his peace and quiet. 

Lewis says greatness can't be denied always forever which. What. Are you. Saying. Dude. Greatness ultimately eventually shines. Alright. You sound like a cult pastor my man but it's okay. 

They're talking about waking up for the race now. Lewis says 2007 was freaking horrible for him. 2008, pretty horrible. He's learnt to try to focus on the things he can control. What he can control is making sure he's quickest in every session, get the pole position, and get out ahead. Those are the things he can personally influence, so that's all he focuses on. The things that happen around him and the overall result he can't do anything about. 

Nico says he wants to win the race and end on a high. It's worked for him all season and brought him in this position, he's not gonna change now, he's gonna stick with what he's doing. 

That's it. 

Toto says he can feel the tension and the drivers have been told to be sportsmanlike and that backing each other up into the RedBulls might mean successful undercuts for them and it would be a risk especially to Lewis who can't afford not to win. He says what he would least like to see happen is a technical problem on either car because we want the fight to happen on track. 

We hear Ricciardo’s car had a bit of an issue through the night but is fixed. 

It's time for the race. It's Massa's last start (is it though) and maybe Jenson’s (it is). Formation lap. The top 10 is on ultrasofts, except for the RedBulls who are on supersofts. 

Carmen is there which is very cute. It's funny because at the time I'm watching this it was just her birthday and Lewis’ posted that photo of them both in the elevator and she absolutely hasn't aged one second. 

And they are racing! 

Both Mercs get a decent start, as do the Ferraris. Daniel seems slow off the line, he's almost in a red sandwich. Both he and Seb lock up in the first corner. OH AND VERSTAPPEN SPINS! He manages to get going again but he's dead last. The Force Indias are battling each other. Oh and there's yellow flags in sector 2 and 3…then only in sector 2. What is it? It's cleared. At the end of the first lap we got Lewis, Nico, Raikkonen, Ricciardo, Seb, Perez, Hulkenberg, Alonso, Massa and Valtteri. Verstappen has already gained 3 places and is up in 19th. Magnussen is getting a new nose. I guess he was the cause of these yellow flags. For now, the top 5 are within DRS range of each other, but of course DRS isn't available yet. And now it is. Max is battling Grosjean in a stressful way. Grosjean stays ahead, weirdly. Then he gets overtaken. Valtteri overtook Massa as well. On the replays we see Max spun because of a contact with Hulkenberg. Max overtakes Kvyat for P13. Magnussen has to retire his car. Lewis is still hovering right on the limit of Nico's DRS range. Or vice versa. I never know how to describe it. Valtteri has reported issues with the car and let Massa back ahead. He's told to come into the pits to check and that they won't retire. Lewis sets fastest lap after fastest lap. And he pits. It's so early but well, that's what happens when you're on ultrasofts. He gets the softs. The Ferraris are responding straight away, with Raikkonen pitting as well. It's not a great stop for Lewis, 3.6, he got held up because Raikkonen was coming in. 3.0 for Raikkonen. Alonso and Palmer pit as well. Nasr. Nico is called in. Lewis is out right in front of Max who's chasing relentlessly. Oh and again! Nico is also held up, also because of a Ferrari! Crazy. But that's good for Lewis. 4.8. Hulkenberg pits as well. Massa. Kvyat. Nico is out behind Max! Raikkonen is getting close to him. And Bottas is out of the race after all. Ricciardo pits from the lead. Perez from P3. 

It's lap 10 but we're gonna wait a minute to check the order because of all the pit stops. Ricciardo is out right behind Raikkonen and by that I mean basically on his rear wing. Nico is told they're making Verstappen slow on purpose and he needs to get past. Let's see. It's Lewis back in the lead, Max +1.4, Nico +0.7, Raikkonen +0.8, Ricciardo +0.09 lol, Seb +1.5, Jenson +5.0, Hulkenberg +1.7, Grosjean +1.9, and Perez +0.6. Ricciardo attacks Raikkonen but can't make it yet. Nico is attacking Max as well. Max stays ahead as well! He hasn't pitted yet, mind you, so it won't last, but they're trying to get Ricciardo ahead. He's still stuck behind Raikkonen though. Nico is told not to take risks with Verstappen and that he did the right thing. I thought he needed to overtake lol. Take all the risks. (I say like I don't already know the outcome.) Shortly after he's also told to look after his front right tyre. Perez overtakes Jenson for P8. OH and moments later Jenson is in the grass? What happened. Something is wrong with the steering. Is that how his career ends? It's sad. Yeah it's a failure. On the replays you can see something breaking and his front right tyre suddenly takes a weird angle and stops turning. It's over for him. He gets acclaimed by the public though. His mom hugs him with tears in her eyes. I love having dads and moms in the paddock they're always adorable (except for Jos who's a piece of shit obvi). Max is told this is all they need right now and he's doing an excellent job and just to keep it clean. He's still slowing Nico down. Ricciardo is still stuck behind Raikkonen. He answers he's losing the rear tyres a bit. Makes sense because he's on softs and hasn't pitted yet. Oh and that's a slooow Kvyat stopping by the side of the track in sector 2. Yellow flags of course. On another replay we see Jenson’s failure is from riding a kerb. Lewis says there's a lot of sliding on these tyres. The yellow flags are cleared and the DRS is available again. We see Kvyat get on a bike. Not a motor bike. Like. A bike. A mountain bike maybe. Oh lol. Just as he starts going there's a dude getting there on a moped. He stops for Kvyat who just keeps going after waving at him. And the dude makes the international hand gesture for “what.” You know the one. Alonso overtakes Grosjean to get in the points. Lewis is told the sliding comes from cool temperatures front and rear and is told to just be careful, “we're not going to grain them.” Nico is still within less than a second of Max but he's just waiting for him to pit. Ricciardo has made no progress. Oh and just as I write it down, that's Daniel ahead of Raikkonen lol. Oh no it's not. He went wide. Raikkonen got the position back. Meanwhile Seb is now 0.1 off Daniel. That's a bad mistake. 

It's lap 20. Lewis, Max +4.3, Nico +0.7, Raikkonen +3.1, Ricciardo +1.1, Seb +0.6, Hulkenberg +8.2, Perez +2.0, Massa +10.7, Alonso +5.8. Nico is told it's critical that they “start passing” Verstappen. Meanwhile Max reports it's getting more difficult but he doesn't think they should box. Nico makes an attempt, but Max doesn't yield and they almost make contact at the exit of the corner. Max stays ahead, but Nico has more grip out of the corner and overtakes him on the next straight. He's told to “catch the back of Lewis”. Max says his tyres are a bit more damaged now, but he's still told to stay out. Then he pits. Nico is told the next three laps are gonna be critical, they think Verstappen is going to the end. He's closing on Lewis bit by bit. And Ricciardo is pitting. Raikkonen pits in response. It works in favour of RBR, both of their drivers are ahead of him. Verstappen attacks and overtakes Perez for P5. Ricciardo overtakes Perez for P6. Oh but Perez comes back at him. He can't do it. Raikkonen is really close behind. Perez pits, so he's free. Lewis is called in. Good stop. Nico is called in. It might be close with Max. 

It's lap 30. It was a quick stop. He's out ahead of Max. At the moment it's Seb in the lead then, Lewis +7.6, Nico +2.5, Max +4.0 (not that close then lol), Ricciardo +2.1, Raikkonen +4.2, Massa +10.3, Alonso +2.8, Hulkenberg +4.3, and Perez +3.8. Nico is closing quickly on Lewis now. 1.2. Lmao. That's the weirdest message I've heard from Bono yet : “Question: Just wondering why you’re so slow? Currently unsafe to Vettel.” A bit later he asks how's this pace and he's told they'd be happy with a 45.3. Hulkenberg overtakes Alonso for P7. Perez attacks him for P8. Lewis asks what position he's in and he's told currently P2. Perez overtakes Alonso. Seb says his tyres are really falling off now. There's been contact between two backmarkers and there's a bit of debris on the track. Seb is pitting. 

Lap 40. It's not fascinating. Lewis, Nico +1.2, Max +3.0, Daniel +2.5, Raikkonen +8.3, Seb +1.5 is very fast on his new tyres, Hulkenberg +20.0, Perez +2.0, Massa +10.8, Alonso +16.1. Lewis is hitting traffic. Seb overtakes his teammate. Lewis : “You need to give me times of other cars, please.” Nico is about a second away from Lewis now and just as we've seen them race each other and Max who was lapping them, Palmer and Sainz made contact and are both off track now. Joining back. No interruption. Seb is very very fast. Bono told Lewis he's the threat currently. Sainz has issues after his collision. Gearbox. He's stopping I think. He's just going very slow now. Yellow flags. Sainz has stopped. Lewis is less than a second away from Nico. “OK Lewis really need to pick up the pace. Need high 44s. Vettel imminent threat.” What's happening with him? It feels weird that he's not pushing. Maybe he's trying to get Nico under threat but it also puts him under threat so… Idk watching him go, these messages, it feels very unfamiliar. Palmer gets a 5 sec penalty for the collision with Sainz.

10 laps to go. Seb caught up with the RedBulls. He overtakes Ricciardo. Bono is getting serious, now : “OK Lewis this is an instruction. We need 45.1 for the win.” But Lewis knows where he's standing : “I suggest you guys let us race.” We now hear a message from Nico that's happened before that. “This is really slow pace so maybe at some point invert the cars and if by the end of the race Lewis is still second I’ll let him by again. I know that’s a really stupid request but this is really slow at the moment. He’s doing exactly… he’s quick in sector one so it’s difficult for me.” What “he's doing exactly” is being slow in the parts of the track without DRS and speeding up in the part where Nico could overtake. He knows what he's doing. He's playing games. Nico knows. The team knows. Everybody knows. Max is told to try to get Nico's DRS. He's 1.9 away. Seb 1.5 further. 1.7 and 0.9. Seb is ready to attack. Not this lap. Max is told he's within 2 or 3 tenths of DRS. Ted says Lewis is rinsing the Mercedes pit wall’s nerves. Nico apparently has been on radio again saying “consider doing something” but why would they? As it is he's still winning the championship. There's no reason to sacrifice Lewis’ very very tiny chance is there? There's only 5 laps to go. “What can they do?” Ted says. “Hamilton is a mercenary!” He says Anthony Hamilton himself told him that :  “He is a mercenary and he'll do anything to win.” Seb overtakes Max, half a second away from Nico. “Lewis this is Paddy.” Oh-ho. “We need you to pick up the pace to win this race. This is an instruction.” I'm laughing so much right now. Lewis doesn't give one single fuck. “Paddy I am actually in the lead right now I’m quite comfortable here,” is his answer. He's ignoring them. They are so exhausted on this pit wall. He's got nothing to lose really, does he? It's not graceful but it is racing. It doesn't matter anyway, Seb is 1.7 away. He's not gonna catch up. 3 laps to go. Nico has been told they can afford P3 if it comes down to it but they can't afford damage to the car. Seb is closing actually lol. This is crazy. 2 laps to go. “Right now I’m losing the world championship so I’m really not bothered if I’m going to win or lose this race,” Lewis says, prompted by another message from the team. Seb attacks Nico but doesn't make it. It's the final lap. “Remember you only need P3.” 

It's over. 

Lewis wins the race, but Nico is champion of the world. He's doing donuts on the grid like there's no tomorrow (and there isn't). He's not going to Parc fermé. He's out of his car right there. Kissing the car. Lewis is hugging his mom.

Nico and Lewis also shake hands and hug and the team rejoice.

Niki doesn't really wanna comment on Lewis’ “antics” (as Ted says) before talking to Lewis. Ted insists. Niki again avoids answering, saying it worked out but only just. The team is carrying Nico and chanting his name. 

Seb congratulates Nico with a genuine smile on his face. Alonso also hugs him. Grosjean is genuinely elated. Massa is there as well. Wehrlein. Crazy. I've never seen so many drivers come congratulate a winner I think. 

Oh god. In the cool down room Nico LIFTS UP FUCKING BERNIE ECCLESTONE. Careful that's an antique right there. Herbie reminds him he needs to get weighed. Lewis looks okay. We don't see him much but he's chatting with Seb and Bernie, I think about his “antics”.

Nico's race engineer gets there and he's very emotional and it's cute. “You've done it!” he says with a strangled voice after they hug hard. 

I've been wondering this whole race when Nico decided to leave. Did he already know? Or at least was he already thinking about it or not yet? Because iirc he announced his retirement very shortly after right? I'll look it up once we're done here. (I have an answer, I’ll get to it at the end of the review.)

It's a long time in this cool down room. After talking for a while with Lewis, Seb talks to Nico in German. They're taking a photo with Ecclestone. Nico is holding Lewis’ shoulder, Lewis is not holding Nico back. After a few clicks he moves away, just beat earlier than the others. Awkwardly. 

Podium. Honestly Lewis is not happy but I've seen him handle himself worse than that with lower stakes, so. Good on him? Nico is emotional now. Lewis raises his trophy to his mom. 

He says he feels great, he thanks everybody who came out. Points out the British flags, gets a real roar out of the crowd. He thanks his family for the support and his team for doing a great job. He says he never would have thought when he joined them that he'd have so many wins. He's really smiling. “And a big congratulation to Nico of course,” he adds after a bit. He almost forgot I think. “His first world championship. Good job man.” They shake hands.

Oh my god this is extremely cringe : they shook hands in front of DC who's conducting the interviews so he then gets out of the way and suggests they do it again and it's just no. You ruined it. Anyway they do it again and hug and it's horrible now. It wasn’t great to begin with.

Nico says he really didn't enjoy the last laps. He dedicates his win to his wife and their daughter and his wife immediately starts crying (in French we have a phrase “fondre en larmes” - melting into tears, which would apply well there). He says he'll thank everybody else later but it's unreal. Oh. DC brings up his dad and that's when he loses it. He says he's very proud he's achieved the same feat and he thinks he's gonna be there in about half an hour and his voice breaks. I thought his dad was back home?! Did they surprise him this way? He stutters. He says he's excited to see him. His eyes well up. He can't talk anymore. He's shaking his head while DC moves to Seb. 

Seb also starts by congratulating Nico who seems dazed now. He says something when Seb gets back to it and Lewis is smiling. 

DC gets back to Lewis, weirdly, and asks him how he feels. He says he did everything he could these last 4 races and that's all he could ask of himself so he's gonna celebrate with everyone that night. “You can't win them all,” he says. He says he had a lot of problems during the year and that's why he's in this position but he's still thankful for all the success and the ups and downs they had as a team. 

Nico is barely keeping it together. He says he also wants to congratulate Lewis oh god now I'm getting emotional as well for his great season, great competitor, massively quick always, they're looking in each other's eyes. “So congrats, always tough to beat you.”

Then he turns to the team and tells them to turn the music on because he's coming. He can't wait to see his mom, he says. She's coming with his dad. 

And that's it. Ohhhhh they're going back to the cool down room and Angela is there and hugs Lewis tight.

Nico is trying to take a photo with a selfie stick and he also invites Seb to join. Meanwhile Paddy also doesn't wanna comment on Lewis ignoring instructions. He says “We weren't driving the car.” and pretending like it might just have been the pace of the car. It wasn't. Even Lewis didn't pretend like it was. But do go on and defend your guy, it's also part of the job. “It did present some challenges,” he says very euphemistically. He also praises Ferrari’s strategy. It was a dramatic ending. Johnny critiques the calls they made on radio saying they were trying to stop the racing and taking away his chance at the championship like I was saying at the time. Paddy says their main objective is always to win the race and they didn't like the look of that red car coming through. Johnny insists it's dictating the race, whatever the driver can do to try and win the championship he's gonna do, and they were trying to stop that. Paddy says it's what makes F1 exciting in a way : the unavoidable conflict between what a team wants and what the individual drivers want (you always always have to do better than your teammate essay, anyone? Lol). He's still trying to talk but we're watching Nico and his relatives jump in a circle singing so yeah. They're distracted. Hill asks how Paddy thinks Nico compares in the pantheon. He says first of all he's very very happy for Nico. Nico had, at least at that point, the highest number of F1 wins without a championship. Paddy says (and God the little man is saying so many true things that day) that championships are about sustaining the energy and the commitment and nerve throughout a season. (And that's how Lewis breaks his teammates btw as we mentioned in the essay, his ability to maintain.) 

Nico has escaped the garage and is walking through the paddock with Vivian. I think he's looking for his dad who's supposed to arrive. 

Toto is ready to talk. He says Lewis had two choices. He could disappear in the distance and show that he's the best racing driver or back up. Hill argues that's all Lewis could do, and he created a great race for them. Toto says that's how he feels as a racing driver, as compared to how he felt as a team principal, and that's why he didn't intervene. He says Horner suggested this earlier in the week and so maybe Lewis was following Horner’s instructions. Johnny asks the same thing he asked Paddy : why did they get involved? Toto says if they let them go with no rules they'd be winning fewer races and they'd lose championships. He says their philosophy all year was they wouldn't interfere as long as they had a guaranteed race win. And there was a situation there where they might have lost it. He says the question is whether him ignoring them sets a precedent for the future. But now they're celebrating basically. Oh right. There's new regs for 2017. Toto says they're happy about it. They weren't initially when they were decided but that made them competitive and they've been developing for 2017 for a long time. 

We see a moment from the press conf. Lewis insists again Nico didn't have reliability issues like he did. “That's why we sit in this position right now.” Then he gets a grip and says he did a fantastic job and congratulation etc. But well that sounds empty now doesn't it lol. “And I look forward to fighting with him next year.” But you won't though. He later says he never felt like he might lose the race. He's not very clear and they didn't let us hear the question but he says “their” thought process was clear and I think he's talking about the instructions. He kind of refuses to comment. 

Anyway. Lewis interview. He says he did everything he could, fought to the end for the fans and the people who turned up to support him. He thanks everyone. He seems relaxed. She asks if he's disappointed the team gave him instructions. High pitched hum that he does when he's thinking of whether to say it as it is or give a diplomatic answer, I think. He chuckles and shakes his head. “It is what it is,” he says with a smile.

She asks if it's his hardest season. He says he's been in a similar position in 2007 and it was much harder, losing it. Having the experience helps a lot, he says.

Certain things happened along the way, he shrugs, and all he could do was his best and he truly believes he did so he can go out and enjoy himself now.

She asks if he lost the title or if Nico won it. He says he doesn't want to take anything from Nico (but you keep doing it my love lol everytime you say you're in this position because of the reliability issues) he says he did a great job. Last question about 2017 and he says he thinks it'd be great to have other teams challenge them. It'd be interesting and good for the fans. He's not convinced the new rules are great ones but he hopes he's proven wrong. 

Wait. Nico's mom is there and it's not the same woman I saw earlier. Was it his MIL? Whatever. She just kissed Brundle on the cheek like he's his own lol. She says they don't talk about Formula 1, it's a family rule, and that Keke is hiding. 

In his interview Seb says you can't take anything away from Nico sometimes circumstances are for you sometimes not but that's part of it. He also understood why Lewis did what he did. He’s right about both things.

We hear from Lewis again. He sees for the nth fucking time congrats to Nico he drove well and he did everything he could and bla bla bla. He says he had to try because there was no point in leading the race and then coming second in the championship. He says he's excited to see what they're gonna have to say to him I think? They have a sound issue. Oh yeah that's what he said. Brundle asks if they might pull him into the office and say we've told you some things and you didn't listen. And Lewis says he's looking forward to it and laughs. “You got some answers already ready for if?” – “Yyyep.” They agree again he had to try and destabilise Nico’s race and Lewis says he did everything he could with the opportunities he had, he never gave up with the ups and downs in the season. He says Nico is gonna enjoy this, winning a championship is an amazing feeling and he doesn't wanna take anything away from him. He did absolutely everything he had to do this season. He hopes they both have cars that work well so they can fight again next year. He's happy and grateful with the wins he had, 12 poles and 10 wins. Grateful for the guys who've worked so hard to give them such a car. He's looking forward to keep working for them in the future. He's talking about drinking tequila. 

In his interview Nico says the race was so so so intense. The team telling him it was critical, “critical” he repeats, to pass Max for the world championship “Jesus ! And then Max, you know, of all people.” He scoffs, “oh you don't uh, no, you n–, no, no.” He says at the end Lewis was backing him into everyone because that was “the chance he was trying to use, and he did it really really well because there was no chance for me to overtake him at the same time because he was pushing in sector 1.” He says the others were coming and Vettel with more grip and it was horrendous. (He's all over the place as he speaks, understandably.) He says he's mostly relieved that it's over. He's happy and can't wait to celebrate. His best friends are here. He thanks people for supporting him. She says they were biting their nails. He rolls his eyes, sighs, facepalms.

The level of tension and stress he was holding and the visible relief and exhaustion are really impressive. “It's not possible to explain the intensity,” he says. He's just repeating again and again how horrible it was. And exclaiming as he recalls how horrible it was. I've never seen a champion so distraught over his own title race I think lmao. He's putting hands on his face. It's like he's recalling a nightmare. He says he couldn't let Seb past because “Crazy Max was after that so can't let anybody past.” Then she says it's intense relief and has he talked to his dad and he says no. “I haven't seen my dad. I hope he's okay.” He's dead serious and looks concerned. Also I've rarely seen a champion smile so little. “I'm a bit worried about him. Cause I think that must have been pretty intense,” he chuckles now. Her last question is whether he'll take the number 1 next year. As soon as he hears he starts moving away and avoids eye contact. “I don't know, let's see.” 

They take the photo. Then Lewis leaves. I think Nico did the same thing in 2015 but more discreetly. Nico and Vivian get drowned in champagne and cameras. It always looks so stressful. 

Ted's notebook starts in the paddock with Jenson. Ted says he's sorry about the suspension that was weird and see you next year. Jenson stares at him. “Is that as good as the notebook gets?” Ted says it gets much worse and how did he know he was doing the notebook. Jenson says he just said so. “Oh yeah,” Ted says. “So I did, so I did.” Jenson asks the camera man to turn around. “Why does (someone's name I didn't get)‘s wife have a firesuit on, why does Britney have your firesuit on?” – “Because why not?” Jenson says. “We're stealing them.” He points out he's actually still wearing his race suit. Ted sniffs him. He says it's not his race suit it doesn't smell of sweat. Jenson says he only did 12 laps. He says his notebook is “relatively interesting, sometimes.” He grabs his mic. “More importantly this one is king. IT'S JB’S NOTEBOOK! Here we are there's a guy called Ted, over here, mister Kravitz, Lenny’s brother from what I've heard. We're here in the pitlane, great win for–” He turns to Ted. “It was Nico wasn't it, the one?” Ted's like well Nico won the championship yeah. “Great win for Nico, we didn't watch the end of the race but fantastic for him and his family,” Jenson keeps going, “especially mini Nico, it's sad for Lewis, you know for me Lewis did a great job all year. Look at the last few races, you know, he won every race, Nico's been just behind him, so it's a shame for him he's had reliability issues. Malaysia he's lost 28 points to Nico Rosberg so uh. It's hurting him right now, I'm sure, it's like a stake in the heart, but next year he's gonna come back, he's gonna win his fourth world title. So yeah. All is good in Abu Dhabi we're gonna go and have some fun. And Ted's not going with because he's bOOOOring. He's all formula one and stats and stuff like that. But anyway I'll leave you with him. JB signing out.”

Oh. So. Okay. When Brundle interviewed Lewis he referred to Lewis wanting to quit after Spain. And Lewis said it was private stuff and in the past. I didn't mention it because I didn't know what he was talking about. Now Ted explains that the rumour is that in the midst of all the consequences of them colliding in Spain, Lewis said he'd quit. He said he wouldn't drive anymore this season. The team got a bit panicky. He says at the time everybody was a bit weirded out by Wehrlein being called to drive for Mercedes during a test session they did I think for new tyres (I did mention in some review that Merc was interested in Wehrlein). And then they accepted Nico's plea to get a two year contract instead of a one year contract. 

Lewis also said during the press conference he didn't do anything unfair, he controlled the pace and that's within the rules. Which. Again as I said : it’s not graceful but it’s racing.

Okay, so that’s it for the broadcast. But now let’s talk about Nico’s retirement. So I asked around and I found sources. Here he says he decided to quit "two metres after the line in Abu Dhabi.” It was officially announced 5 days later. Here he says he was scared to tell Toto to his face so he waited until they were done with the PR thing in Malaysia and told him on the phone. Just think about all the time in this review I mentioned people telling him “next year” and he just dodged or seemed emotional and he already knew. It’s intense.

He said he couldn’t maintain the intensity it took to beat Lewis and he’d accomplished his dream of being World Champion and that was enough for him. He says it was to the point he gave up cycling so he’d lose just a bit of leg muscles and according to him that’s how he got pole in Japan. His helmet was black because he got rid of the 80g of paint it took to make it another colour. He wore socks to his ankles rather than knees so they would weigh 5g less. I mean that’s madness.

Lewis was uhhhh. Kind of a dick about it, unsurprisingly. He said : “This is the first time he’s won in 18 years, hence why it was not a surprise that he decided to stop. He’s also got a family to focus on, and wants more children, and Formula 1 takes so much of your time. Will I miss the rivalry? Of course. It’s going to be very, very strange and it will be sad not to have him in the team next year. The sport will miss him and I wish him all the best. Of course it is a shame that he won’t allow me to take it [the title] back or fight to take it back but that is his choice and I respect his decision: go out on top while you can.”

And I think it’s an important thing to finish on. Because a lot of people have said (I mean I’ve just read it in one of the articles I’ve read for this conclusion) that Nico won the battle but Lewis won the war because Nico basically gave up. I myself have alluded to this in the “Lewis breaks his teammates essay”. Lewis did break Nico. I mean Nico says pretty plainly that he was unable (but maybe more importantly unwilling) to keep putting so much effort into beating Lewis. But Lewis didn’t win the war, Nico did. Because Lewis never got to beat him again. As I said at some other point, Nico will always have won against someone he perceived as better than him, and Lewis will always have lost to someone who he saw as not as good as he is. And Nico robbed him of a chance to set things right in his mind. In the story of their rivalry, the last thing that happened is, and will forever be : Nico won. And that’s Nico’s everlasting victory.

[baiuzennsenn]

Suddenly I decided to write a piece about the sebchal forest story. Mirroring the one I wrote inspired by the forest explorer Seb. Bedtime story pt.2. The full edition is Available on ao3 now ;-)

Charles Leclerc woke up one morning to find himself transformed into a deer.

…Actually he didn’t notice it at first. When he opened his eyes and found himself in a strange forest, his first thought was: “Am I dead?”

He should have been on the plane to Los Angeles. After the heartbreaking weekend in the Brazilian GP, the only thing he wanted to do was to sleep during the whole trip and perhaps it could help him forget the extremely “unlucky” DNS, more quickly.

So how the hell was he in a forest? Did the jet also crash?

Only when Charles tried to take a few steps did he found himself with apparently animal’s feet. He walked down to a stream nearby, looking at the water. It was a face of a deer, with green eyes of which were dearly as beautiful as his own.

“What the hell.” Charles thought. “It must be a dream. Come on Charles. Wake up!” He shouted to himself in mind, nothing happened. He tried to move his arms, or we should call them legs for a deer, to hit his head so that he could wake himself up. Apparently this move only made the deer Charles jump like the horse on the famed Ferrari logo.

“I was stuck in a dream just like the Ferrari horse.” Charles laughed at himself bitterly.

Charles had no idea where the forest was located. Seldom did he go to forest for hiking. He walked in the forest randomly, completely at a loss. The most important thing was he didn’t know when he would wake up from the weird dream.

Sunshine gradually leaked through thick leaves above his head. Charles had walked for a while and now he felt thirsty and hungry. He went back to the stream and tried to drink like a deer. Head down, stretched in his neck, lips open, tongue out. He tried to recall how a dog or a cat licks water. It was not easy for a human being who became a deer for the first time in life to control this body. He licked the stream as many times as he could to appease his thirst. Now the question was, what shall a deer eat? Leaves? Grass? Charles even couldn’t remember at all if he once read about it or watch any related documentary on TV.

“If I had a phone, I mean, if a deer could use a mobile phone, I would call Seb for help, to ask him what food a deer could eat.”

Charles thought he must be so hungry that he had a bee in his head. Why did Sebastian Vettel float in his mind, in this circumstance?

“Actually the idea of calling Seb sounds not as insane as a deer uses mobile phone. He must be a specialist in nature now... In Suzuka, those insects hotels... He gained so much knowledge of nature after retirement…” Pieces of memories in Suzuka this year were called up in Charles’s head.

And their hug, for 3 seconds long, in the late summer of Japan. Sebastian smelled like fresh grass. His body was warm, with his face enlightened by tender sunshine in the afternoon.

Charles felt his deer body melted in the memory. The deer, feeling exhausted and sleepy, closed his eyes.

—

“Oh, you're alive!”

Charles opened his deer eyes slowly. He had forgotten from when he sat on the ground and fell asleep, like a real deer. A familiar voice woke Charles up. A small hand of human being was touching the deer's nose softly. “It’s wet.” It seemed the man was checking if Charles still had breath.

The shade of trees hide the lower half of that person's face, however, with a beam of tender sunshine lightening the other half, Charles still recognized the blue eyes. It was Sebastian.

Charles felt like he hadn't gone for Lourdes to pray but a miracle manifested. He abruptly stood up and shouted “Seb?!” – in his mind – as a deer could only made sound like a deer, from his throat.

The sudden standing up and scream of deer Charles surprised Sebastian a little bit. He was back forward and then sat to the ground. “Take it easy, dear. I’m not gonna eat you.” Sebastian grinned and stood up slowly. “So glad to see you’re OK.” He was going to leave.

“No, I’m not OK”, Charles thought. But how could a deer stop Sebastian going away. The deer leaned forward to Seb’s body urgently with his front legs up, attempting to hold Sebastian’s arms, which only made Charles looked more like a prancing horse, and finally bumped into Sebastian and pushed the blonde German down to the ground, with the blue eyes staring at the deer’s green eyes in surprise.

He didn’t attack Sebastian like an angry animal on purpose. He just still not got used to the deer’s body. 

Thinking for a second as a deer how to appear to be friendly, Charles began to lick Sebastian’s face, just like a puppy. Sebastian couldn’t help giggling, “Oh…wow! Please stop…huh!”, with both hands holding the deer’s face, trying to escape from the friendly bisous. 

Only when seeing Sebastian seemed to be not annoyed, Charles stopped and loosed him. Sebastian was still lying down. As a 36-year-old man, he oddly wore a costume like a boy scout, blonde beard wet with the deer’s saliva, several leaves on his hair. 

“Your eyes look like someone’s…someone I know.” All of a sudden, Sebastian smiled and said, “You have beautiful green eyes just like Charles…” He didn’t even take his eyes off Charles.

Charles was shocked. No way Seb could recognize him. But he was dying to admit the deer was Charles himself. 

The deer attempted to nod to Seb. He only received confused eyes from the blonde human, however. Charles felt like there was no way Seb could understand what a deer was thinking. All he could do was just lowering his head and licking Sebastian’s palm and fingers gently. They tasted good actually, with the smell of resin and grass.

“Are you hungry?” Sebastian noticed that. He stood up and walked around, managing to collect some leaves with a little bit nuts for the deer. He even picked up the resin for himself and ate it like chewing gum. Totally a forest ranger.

Charles couldn’t imagine one day he would chew leaves like there was no other food he could find. They tasted weird actually. While Sebastian sit next to him with a relaxed smile, watching him swallowing all those leaves. Charles managed to eat them up, but he found himself more addicted to Seb’s hands with wood and resin smell.

“You like it?” Sebastian laughed and lift his left arm so that the deer didn’t need to lower the head to lick his fingers. “Good kid.” His right hand caressed the deer tenderly.

Charles suddenly realized this was the scene that might only occur in his wildest wet dream. On top of Sebastian, who was calling him a good boy with moaning, kissing his cheek, sucking his lip and neck, licking his forefinger greedily — the finger that represented the ultimate proud of the German, the 4-time world champion.

Dated back to their days as team mates of Ferrari, Charles had imagined for thousands of times on kissing Seb’s lips, from which interesting debrief always came out and would never bore Charles. He never let his secret fancies as well as his crush to Sebastian out, even after Sebastian retired and texted him regularly saying he was thinking of him and wanted to hug him. Sebastian was just friendly to everyone. A confession might ruin everything.

All Charles could pray for was just a real hug from Seb. 

At least in Charles’s dream, he could have Sebastian’s embrace longer. The deer crouched down, head to Sebastian’s knees, to let Seb’s hands fondle him, from head to back.

—

With the sudden bumpiness of the plane, Charles eventually woke up, indeed.

No forest. No deer. No Sebastian. Just Charles Leclerc, the formula 1 driver driving for Scuderia Ferrari, who just fled from a pathetic grand prix weekend.

Charles was still a little bit confused, whose head was a bittersweet mess. He unlocked his phone as usual to see what time it was. The message screen he was reading before falling asleep appeared. It was a message from Sebastian.

“Hi Charles. I just hope you are alright and wish I could be there to give you a hug. Sometimes things didn’t go well like we expected which is not your fault. I know deep in your mind you don’t believe bad luck. So do I. Things happened for a reason, the worthy will get happy endings. Whenever you want to talk you can always call me. Chin up! :-)”

Charles felt his tear glands a bit of lost control. The first thing he got off the plane would be calling Seb, he thought. He had no idea what to say though. Maybe some complaints on Ferrari. Maybe the deer dream. Maybe the “I Love You” that he never dare to say since years ago.

[snaketonguedgod]

“お帰り”

He wasn’t sure why he’d gone to Japan in the first place, maybe because it was in a way a mirror reflection of Britain for all that it was the other side of the world. He knew the reason why he’d stayed though, her name was Saori.

He wasn’t entirely sure even now how it had been that they’d met, except that it had been a hot Tokyo night, sticky and steamy. There had been alcohol involved, blurring and distorting the neon lights. He hadn’t intended to stay long, just another stop in a road to nowhere. But somewhere in that first week of staying at a different Love Hotel every night and seeing all the seediest bars in the city, somewhere in between his broken Japanese and her rusty English, they had understood each other. He wasn’t a thrill seeking womaniser and she wasn’t a wild party girl, they just both needed a break away from who they really were and Tokyo was an easy place to lose yourself.

She had been the first person to compliment his nose, a compliment that had taken ages for her to explain, going round and round in circles as she became more frustrated with his inability to understand. He was used to it now, now that he lived somewhere that his nose drew compliments. He had almost forgotten that once it had only drawn insults. That had been a very long time ago. It felt at times like it had happened to another person, back when he’d still been Severus Snape.

He’d taken Saori’s name when they married, happy to cast off the reminder of his past. After close to twenty years, his Japanese was good, so the Japanese surname combined with dark hair and eyes resulted in most people assuming he was a half. He had never felt the need to correct the mistake, confidently and calmly writing the kanji for Miyata as though he had never known another name. His first name was still officially Severus, though no one called him that any more. It was too long, and the V was a problem. Even Saori called him Seb. A life time ago Lily had shortened his name affectionately to Sev, before their friendship had ended, and no one else had ever been close enough to dare to consider a nickname. There had only been a few who called him Severus, and even then most of that was through professional courtesy. He might have been doing them wrong by making that assumption, but he had left that life behind in the image of a bled-out corpse in the Shrieking Shack. Ironic, that he had twice nearly been mauled to death by magical dark creatures in the same building. He’d burnt it, leaving the wizarding world with only Harry Potter’s firm insistence in his death and a heap of ashes that no one would ever know contained no body. Fire symbolised rebirth, and he had been reborn.

He’d been washed clean in a fancy jacuzzi on the first night, when Saori had given up on trying to say Severus correctly and had called him Seb, and he had let her. He had thought it didn’t matter what a woman he would never see again called him, yet somehow it had become his name, the name he thought of himself with, the name he scrawled in katakana without hesitation. A name more his own than Severus Snape had been.

Saori had been the daughter of a Shinto priest, though he had never met him. Her sister had been a witch, who had left her muggle family behind when she went first to school and then to marry into an ancient magical family who had played an important role in advising the government since the Heian period. It was, Saori had explained bitterly, in part the betrayal and abandonment of his daughter than had worsened her father’s illness and led to his early death. He had felt awkward, the first time meeting her mother, confessing guiltily that he was a wizard. Saori’s mother had considered this carefully, slowly, before judging him as a good wizard to her mind. He would not have called himself a good anything, and he wasn’t even certain about wizard. He had had nothing to do with the magical world since leaving the Shrieking Shack, content to live in the muggle world where there was less chance of him ever being recognised. The only time he had done so had been two years after their marriage, which had been a traditional Shinto one, when he had realised that his old wand so rarely used no longer suited him. They had gone, uncertainly and feeling like foreigners in a strange land, to buy him a new one. The wandmaker had tried to tell him that his new wand, made of the wood from a cherry tree, showed that he was a wizard worthy of respect, but he had just shrugged, paid and returned to his muggle village on the slopes of Mount Aso. He had been grateful of it and his magic when the house had shaken in the earthquake that seemed to last forever, but even then it had not been true necessary.

At first he had taught English, finding adults to be a far more appealing type of student than the teenagers he had found so annoying. It had been an easy job, but now he sold teas. Saori was an acupuncturist, and it was rare that her patients would leave without buying an infusion that was just right for their needs. The villagers and the customers who would come from quite a distance would often swear that it was magic, the way in which his brews managed to perfectly soothe whatever problem they had, and he would just smile enigmatically as he gently touched their minds for hints of what troubled them. He had a website, where people could buy infusions from as well, but he preferred the personal touch. Those were generic infusions, rather than the carefully mixed ones that he made for anyone who came to his little tearoom where he would mix herbs kneeling on a traditional cushion on the tatami.

He found he was forgetting words of English now, through disuse and maybe the slow creep of age. He had stood in front of a herb, twisting it in his hand, smelling it and trying to recall what its name was in English. He had given up eventually, looking it up on Tangorin on his phone, translating it from the Japanese that came much easier.

His keigo was the only aspect of Japanese that he struggled with now, though he had little need for it normally. The one time he had used it was to an obnoxious American customer who had insulted Saori, and he had with a calmly collected fury insulted him in perfectly polite Japanese. He had no idea if the American had understood everything he had said, but he hadn’t thought of that at the time. Saori had laughed at that, especially when he had later cursed the man in the savage English of a working class lad from Cokeworth, words that she didn’t understand.  Her English was good now, though they normally spoke in Japanese, but there were some words that she had no need to know.

Now he was used to the smell of tatami, accustomed to folding his futon every morning and spreading it out every night. He was content to live in a volcanic land where he could bathe in hot springs heated by underground lava. He rarely thought of Hogwarts, of the people he had once known. He knew new people now. Aside from the villagers, Saori had dragged him dancing. He had thought at first that she was joking, that it was a part of her wild phase when she had wanted to lose herself in response to grief, but he had realised she was not. There was sometimes something wild about it, about staying out all night dancing either salsa or Argentine tango in Kumamoto city or sometimes even further afield, but there was something in the release of the combination between the music and the movement that he had found himself falling in love with.

They had returned that night, late, from a regular milonga followed by a cheerful meal and some drinks with the usual crowd. As always upon their return he let the herbs steep in the pot, nothing particularly magical just a simple concoction to ward off the creeping cold of autumn, before pouring them carefully into two cups. Saori smiled gratefully from her position on the floor as he entered the room, handing her her cup. Her hair was still wet from the bath and her expression still a relaxed contentment from a pleasant evening. He knelt beside her, blowing on his tisane.

“ね〜さおり,” he said, as he had many times before, “愛してるわ,”

[vro0m]

vro0m’s race reviews - 162/310

2015 Japanese GP

This gif is purely about me having a thing for neck tattoos.

Alright. It seems it was a weird quali session. Nico got provisional pole and then the session was redflagged because Kvyat crashed heavily (he was OK but did a couple barrel rolls and his car was wrecked) which means Lewis couldn't fight Nico for it.

Lewis says he's looking forward to the race after what happened in Singapore. He's happy with the weather. It's indeed a beautiful sunny day. He admires the old cars they're using for the parade. Johnny asks if he sees something he likes, that he'd want to take home. Lewis hums. "I'll take them all, I don't mind." He chuckles.

Johnny says he's obviously not starting quite where he'd wish. Lewis says he's happy with the balance of the car though, and it'll be interesting to see how it goes given it rained during the night. But it's the same for everyone so he hopes they have a race on their hands. Johnny notes he's a very popular man in Japan. He then asks what he's expecting for the race. He says the start will be super important and he's on the dirty side of the track but he'll give him a run for his money and then strategy will matter as well, how long you can make the tyres last. Fingers crossed they have a good day. 

Simon asks Brundle if Nico did not do better than Lewis all weekend and not just in quali. Brundle is more on the fence about it. They're both happy with their cars, that's for sure. Also I'm now seeing the time difference was just 0.076 so lol. 

Of course there's loads of homages to Jules around. Flowers, signs, hashtags. It's been a year since his accident. 

In his interview Nico says he's focused on trying to win. He's 41 points behind Lewis and only 8 ahead of Seb but he says he only thinks about the 41. Brundle says he has to destabilise Lewis somehow. Then he adds that Spa last year he did that (I mean…) "unfortunately his reaction was to disappear up the road wasn't it?" Nico says destabilising will come naturally if he's ahead in quali and if he wins races. Brundle says he relates to the experience of doing a lap and thinking "how is he gonna beat that?" and then the other does beat it and it's frustrating, when you think it's impossible to go faster than what you just did. Nico says he has to admit it's happened a couple of times this year. Brundle asks when that happens where is Lewis faster. (It's such an experience btw seeing all these drivers being asked about Lewis rather than themselves in their interviews. I read somewhere at some point that Jenson got so fed up with it he would call out journalists on that and refuse to answer these questions.) Anyway Nico says it's not one specific thing that Lewis does faster. About Singapore he says it was a shocker but now they understand most of what happened. Brundle says he wants to win the championship like his father and second or third isn't enough so he must throw caution to the win and just come through whether Lewis is ready or not. Nico chuckles. "No, it's not like that." "Why not?" He says he's keeping up with his approach and there's no point acting up or doing something irrational now. He just needs to find that little bit extra. Brundle asks how confident he is that he can win the title this year. "Or next year, for that matter." Nico says it is what it is, he's 41 points behind so the odds are against him. He's aware. He's fighting. Just like he did last year. But his focus is on individual races. 

Ted is asking Toto if Nico still has the fight. Toto defends him. But Ted insists, saying we haven't seen much aggression from him lately, maybe because he hasn't got close enough to Lewis for it. Toto says we're nearing the end of the season and that forces people to take some aggression out of it and approach the races differently so maybe that's why. Ted asks what he thinks we're gonna see today. Toto says he thinks it's difficult to overtake here. The start will be crucial, and they haven't been very good at it in the last couple of races. They say they found what happened to Lewis' car in Singapore and it was down to a stupid metal clamp ("I don't know what did it cost like 2 quid or something?" Ted says.) They're very happy with where they are here this weekend as far as pace goes. 

It's time for the race and I just now realise I didn't give you the full top 10 grid. So behind the Mercs, it's Valtteri then Seb, Massa and Raikkonen, Ricciardo and Grosjean, Perez and Sainz. 

There's a lot of talk about McLaren because their drivers' contracts, or at least Jenson's, are ending and they don't know who will drive for them next year. Brundle says the last McLaren contract he saw had "well over 80 pages" and he adds that one he saw from Lewis "a long long time ago" had "considerably more than a hundred" because of all the options. That uh… Explains a lot about the very long contract talks. 

Formation lap

And they're racing! 

Ohhh Lewis and Nico are wheel to wheel and someone goes wide in the background and it's Lewis in the lead while Nico is dropping back, what's wrong?! Something must be wrong. He lost two places… Massa has damage after contact with Daniel. 

So at the end of lap 1 it's Lewis 1.6 seconds in the lead, then Seb, Valtteri (nice podium, hello), Nico, Raikkonen, Grosjean, Maldonado, Hulkenberg, Alonso and Sainz. Quite a few changes. 

Perez is the one who went wide and he's in the pit with a puncture. Ricciardo is painfully making his way there as well but his tyre is completely gone to the point yellow flags are being waved in two sectors due to debris. And then of course there's Massa with front wing damage, whose entire nose is being changed. 

We get the start replays. Nico kinda got pushed off track by Lewis, who's been quite aggressive, but I guess that's what you do when the start matters that much. It wasn't dirty per se, Lewis had the inside line and ran out of track, as they say. Alonso just called the performance of his car "embarrassing, very embarrassing" on radio. Nico asked to turn the engine up a few laps ago, which he was granted, but they're now telling him the engine temps are high and it's causing damage. He's told to stay away from Valtteri for 5 laps. 

It's lap 10. Lewis has a 5.6 lead over Seb, and the order behind them hasn't changed much : Valtteri, Nico, Raikkonen, Grosjean, Maldonado, Hulkenberg, Sainz, Ericsson. The backmarkers and midfield are starting to pit. Nico is told to push hard to overtake Valtteri who's now in the pits. Grosjean is there as well, Hulkenberg already pitted. Nico is flying now, he has some clean air. Seb gets called in, it's a great 2.2 stop. Raikkonen pits from P3. Sainz pitted. How long– they just called Nico in. Why before Lewis?! Valtteri is back ahead of him as well. Lewis is called in. He's 29 seconds ahead of Seb, it should be okay. 2.4 stop. Weirdly, he's on the mediums, Nico is on the hards. He's still in the lead by a good margin, but it's Sainz setting the fastest lap on the hards... Nico is told to push behind Valtteri to destroy his tyres. And he overtakes him for P3. Seriously, most of the top 10 is on hards, it makes me nervous. But like clockwork Lewis sets the fastest lap, and Seb is losing on him a lot. 

On lap 20, he's 9.5 ahead. Nico is now P3 ahead of Valtteri, then. Raikkonen is P5, Hulkenberg P6, Grosjean P7, Maldonado P8, Sainz P9, Alonso P10. Nico is actually getting close to Seb now. And Raikkonen to Valtteri. Sad. It truly would have been such a nice podium. Also for a track where it's difficult to overtake there's actually a fair number of overtakes going on in the midfield, like Max just overtook Alonso for P10. But it's status quo at the top right now. Raikkonen locked up chasing Valtteri. Alonso says "GP2 engine, GP2!" on the radio before letting out a frustrated yell. Raikkonen pits again. 

On lap 30, both Nico and Valtteri pit. And Raikkonen is ahead of Valtteri. Lewis complains of vibration. Seb is called in. Nico is ahead of him! Lewis pits. I'm waiting to update you on the top 10 order because it's a mess right now. 

On lap 40, Lewis has pulled the gap to Nico. It's now 10.5. Seb is still P3, Raikkonen P4, Valtteri P5. Hulkenberg, Grosjean, Maldonado, Sainz, Verstappen for the top 10. It's getting a bit boring out there. 

10 laps to go. Loads of traffic. One backmarker briefly spun. Verstappen overtakes Sainz for P9. 

5 laps to go… 

And it's the end of the race. 

Lewis wins, 18.5 seconds ahead of Nico, Seb is P3. 

So apparently this is the fifth race in HISTORY without any official retirement. Someone didn't finish but was classified anyway. Only the FIFTH. Can you imagine? What the absolute fuck is this sport anyway.

NICO IS TALKING IN FRENCH NOW? With who?! Surely not Seb? He says they're not able to solve something? Oh it's the merc representative. "Comme à Singapour," He says. He mimes the car struggling. I think he's talking about the start. "Et après plus loin, hein, pas au début." Yeah he's not only talking about the start. "Assez loin." then a pause "Ça m'a perdu la course.” We watch Lewis for a while but he's just drying himself with the towel, so we're back on Nico, who's shaking his head. "Ils arrivent pas à résoudre ce truc, là. Pff." 

Anyway Seb gets there and says congrats to Lewis who answers "thanks, appreciate it" and then he immediately switches to German with Nico. Meh.

Crofty then says Lewis is keeping to himself there which is stupid af. I mean how the fuck do you want him to contribute they're speaking ANOTHER FUCKING LANGUAGE MAN. 

Niki tells Ted he's completely happy that whatever happened in Singapore is over. Ted says of course they did have the faster car but also they were able to overtake Ferrari on strategy as well. Niki says everything was right and there's nothing more to say than that.

Oh hey it's the first time he actually throws the trophy afaik!

Alright. Podium interviews time. The sound is fucked up. Everybody is waiting. The interviewer gets a new mic. We're still waiting. Lewis drinks in his trophy. It finally works.

Lewis equalled Senna's record, but he starts by thanking the fans. He thanks the team as well and says it's good to be back up there with a 1-2. He says it doesn't feel real to match Senna's record, here on a track he used to love watching Ayrton drive. He says it was important for them to strike back (like they've not been topping the charts since day 1). They had to take a step back to make sure they were bringing their A game there in Japan and he couldn't have done it without this team. He says the car was…

Beautiful to drive today. 

Lewis goes to chat with Seb and they laugh together during Nico's interview.

During Seb's interview he empties his champagne bottle on his head. Seb looks up to him with a smile and says "Thank you." He then stands there with his hands behind his back, then in front of his body. Eventually smiling as Seb talks about his helmet manufacturer.

Finally the interviewer says to Lewis they're in the land of karaoke and he's a good singer so what will he sing tonight. He chuckles and says he sang a song the night before called victory, so that'll be it. In the meantime Seb sneaks behind and it's time for payback. We can see his collar filling up with champagne and spilling over. It looks cold!

They laugh together, pick up their trophies and while Nico is leaving the podium Lewis puts his arm around Seb's shoulders and they pose for the photographers.

Ohhhh that's the race they did the hand imprints! 

I read on Wikipedia that Mercedes had a conversation with Bernie because the Mercedes cars were broadcasted only 6 minutes during the race. Who fucking cares there was nothing happening at the front, of course they're gonna show the midfield where there was some actual overtaking going on. 

Ron Dennis criticised Alonso for criticising the PU saying it was unprofessional. But Jenson also complained about it so yeah. Also Jenson was confirmed to stay in the team just 5 days after this GP. Alonso stayed vague about it right after the race but the next day he made it clear he intended to end his career with the team which : lmao.

In his postrace interview, he says he had to push like crazy in the first corner, it was crucial, because it's so difficult to overtake on this track. He says he was on the inside line which isn't the best line here, because the outside line is the actual race line so Nico had the best line. He had to try and make it stick anyway. He ran out of road, but it was a good feeling to get back in front. After that it was just managing the tyres and pulling the gaps he needed. The car was faster than theirs today anyway.

The journalist says he managed his tyres beautifully as he made his mediums last longer than the hards. Lewis says they didn't have Friday (because it was raining) and the team had to get the car right in one hour and they nailed it. He says it's the best feeling he's ever had at this track, in terms of flow, he was using every inch of the road.

And to match Ayrton, it doesn't feel real, he says with a smile.

The journalist says to do it here where he won every one of his championships and where he was adored… What does it mean to him? He's silent for a second and then he talks very softly like he's very far away from here. He mentions a bunch of things mixed up into one. He thinks about the times they worked, they arrived at the tracks, being the unknowns he and his dad, and they set up… He remembers the day Senna passed "was where the track I started", it was one of the saddest days he had as a kid. It's so jumbled but you get it. But it inspired him to do something similar to what he did. So to come here, he's honoured to be in the presence of a great like him. "Not only as a driver but what he did for his country, what he did for the people, what he did for kids… Kids like me.”

“Cause I didn't– I wasn't able to relate to anyone else so…"

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 163/310

2015 Russian GP

Oh ho ho. Nico got the pole again. Interesting. The momentum is shifting a bit although Lewis still won last time. It's not just that he went off in his hot lap, Nico was ahead in all three quali sessions so it's not just due to a mistake.

Carlos Sainz crashed heavily in FP3. He hit a barrier with his front left which tore the whole wheel off so he went off and hit the tepco head first. He was taken away on a stretcher but he's okay. He's there that Sunday, up and walking and fine. He might even race. 

So here's the grid's top 10 : Nico, Lewis, Valtteri, Seb, our usual suspects. Then Raikkonen, Hulkenberg, Perez, Grosjean, Verstappen, and Ricciardo. Also Nico is ahead by 0.3 which is way more than in Japan. 

On the truck, Sainz confirms he'll be racing and is feeling absolutely fine and in no pain whatsoever, although a bit stiff. He says he thinks it looked more frightening from the outside as they were waiting for news about him than from the inside. Ted says the crash was 46G which tells you how violent it was though. Remember that the sensors go off at 25G. They also say he did have to take a couple of painkillers for his neck. He did however pass the medical check.

It was again raining on Friday so they didn't get much testing done here. Also they have softer tyres than in 2014 so degradation might be more of an issue this time. 

There's talk about Renault's return to F1 and we get a Briatore interview which I'm definitely not going to listen to. Ah wait. He's talking about Lewis. The journalist says he's had the privilege of taking two of the greatest drivers to world championships : Schumacher and Alonso. Where does he place Lewis alongside them? Briatore says Lewis is very, very strong now. "Lewis, you know, was always quick driver, but a lot of mistakes," he says with his thick accent. "Now he's very solid." They're sitting in this very expensive Monaco living room with golden stuff on every shelf and a pure white couch. The journalist asks about his opinion of Lewis off-track and his lifestyle. Briatore shrugs. "He's a star, you know. We need more people like Hamilton. Michael is, was a champion. Fernando is a champion. Hamilton is a star." Surprisingly accurate take, actually.

Let's hear from Lewis. Johnny always speaks to him way too close, it's uncomfy af. He says you never expect to be second because you're always trying to be first but he's excited about the race although it might not be the most exciting race for the public but he hopes they'll put on a good show. Eeesh the video is glitching. Lewis is sitting down so Johnny is bent in two and the cameraman ends up standing back up. Lewis laughs "you have to do squats right?" I did not understand the question Johnny asked because the video was lagging badly but Lewis answers that the good thing about racing is you never know what's gonna happen. The exciting part is you don't know which line you're gonna take, you have to be spontaneous. He doesn't know how it's gonna go but he'll try to get away as clean as possible. The start is truly where you can make the big difference in this race cause it's generally a 1 or 2 stops so we'll see. Johnny says he can win this one though, can't he? Lewis says he won last year so it's not impossible but it's gonna be hard, Nico was quick. He'll give it everything he's got. 

Ahhhaaa if Mercedes scores 3 more points than Ferrari today they win the constructors' title right here and then. Important stuff. 

Because the Russian GP is cursed af we also get a Bernie interview that I'm also not listening to. I think the gist of it is that Redbull is looking for an engine supplier, and Toto flat out said no when the journalists asked if they would be it but I don't know if there was actual talks of it or not. Because I didn't listen. 

Formation lap. 

And they're racing! 

Nico gets away well and Lewis slots behind him to defend against Valtteri. OH SHIT. THERE'S A NUMBER OF CARS INVOLVED IN AN ACCIDENT BACK THERE. The racing is still going at the front. Nico keeps the lead but Seb overtook Valtteri. The safety car is out and everybody calms down and lines up. Eesh. Yeah. There's damage there. Oh WAIT ACTUALLY WHAT?! It's not Seb ahead of Valtteri, it's RAIKKONEN?! how? When? What?!

Anyway, back to the accident. Two cars are cleanly lined one against the other, each one facing a different direction. It's Hulkenberg and Ericsson. They’re embedded together like legos. So Hulkenberg spun in the middle of the pack and Ericsson collided with his side, after Verstappen spun avoiding the same fate. He was able to go again though apparently, but he has a puncture and pits. Grosjean also pitted, getting a new nose and new tyres. It's a long stop. Probably not a strategic one. Max also gets a new front wing and he's back out. 

On the start replay we see Lewis went completely off track at some point and then possibly made contact with Nico's rear when he slowed down because the safety car went out. Not a big shunt though, just a touch. The safety car is coming in. And here they go again. 

Valtteri overtakes Raikkonen! He's back in P3. He's congratulated by his race engineer. I like when they do that it's like they're saying "good boy". I wish someone told me I did a good job regularly. Oh ho. Nico says his throttle pedal is broken. He's asking what he should do if it sticks. And Lewis overtakes him for the lead! He got a bad exit out of a corner and Lewis just swept through. And Valtteri is ahead as well! He's told he just needs to adapt to the situation and they'll tell him if they can think of anything else that could help. We might get that podium I wanted? Lewis and then Seb and Valtteri in whatever order? I would enjoy that. Just two guy hearteyeing Lewis as he lifts his trophy, please. Nico is in the pits. Yeah. He's out of the car. It's over. That pretty much settles the WDC as well. They're taking the nose of the car off trying to see if they can free the pedal. So he's not yet out of the race officially. I mean he is but he is not. They're still trying to fix the car but it's the garage and Nico has taken his helmet and gloves off and he looks distraught, understandably. Then Bono confirms to Lewis his team-mate is out. 

And it's lap 10, Lewis is only 2.2 ahead of Valtteri but he was fuel-saving. Then it's Raikkonen ahead of Seb, Perez on P5 followed by the RedBull of Kvyat and Daniel, then we have Nasr and Massa, and finally Maldonado in P10. OH FUCK. THERE'S A BIG CRASH AGAIN, it's Grosjean. I hope it's not as bad as it looks right now but it seems like a wreck. There's debris everywhere and a tyre rolling around… Oh my god, no, it is bad. Really. Fuck. He's not getting out of the car...

He's moving...

The safety car is obviously back out. Marshals run out to him, he's still not out. Oh here we go. He's hoisting himself out. Perez and Ricciardo pit. Bono warns Lewis of the debris. A lot of other people pit. Here's the replay of the crash now. Oof. He lost the rear and smashed into the barriers. No way to catch that or slow the car down. It was a lateral hit. Actually the car seems to have slowed down when going off track but then it hit the barriers with the rear side which swung it around, I mean you can see a lot of kinetic energy going into that. Must be painful on the neck. Maldonado is told Grosjean is absolutely fine. 

On the transcript I read they asked him if he was okay and we didn't hear an answer but maybe they did get one. Seb also asked if he was okay and was told he was out of the car. 

Lmao the guys are fixing the tepco barrier with tape. Clown sport. 

Lewis complains that the safety car is going too slow and he can't keep the tyre temperatures up. Nobody at the front pitted. Valtteri is told Lewis is complaining and so he might struggle at the restart. The safety car is coming in. Oof Valtteri almost ran into him. And here they go again, again. Seb attacks Raikkonen come on give me that podium baby! OOOH IT'S CLOSE I'M GRITTING MY TEETH Seb pushes Raikkonen wide and he rejoins a bit ahead. Now Seb is under pressure from Kvyat! HE ATTACKS RAIKKONEN AGAIN YESSS let's go HE'S AHEAD! Phew. Good racing. Lewis set the fastest lap. Daniel overtakes Sainz for P10 but Sainz gets back ahead they're wheel to wheel and Daniel is ahead again! Ahhh that's nice. Some actual overtakes. Lewis sets another fastest lap. 

It's lap 20. Lewis is 3.4 ahead of Valtteri already. Then Seb, Raikkonen, Kvyat, Nasr, Massa, Perez, Maldonado, and Ricciardo, then. A few laps later Seb is quickly closing on Valtteri… Sainz is under investigation for crossing the line at pit entry. Verstappen pits. He's been struggling. Sainz gets a 5 seconds penalty. Valtteri complains of his tyres, he pits. Brundle thinks it might be too late. He's out in P11. Come on, I want my podium. Seb is told to push. There's movement in the Ferrari garage. Raikkonen is told to push as well. 

And that's lap 30. Lewis is 15 seconds ahead now. Then we have both Ferraris, Kvyat, Nasr, Massa, Perez, Maldonado, Ricciardo and Sainz. Valtteri is closing on him though. Come on boy. He overtakes him for P10. Seb pits. Let's see… he's ahead of Valtteri. Bono : "So Vettel in the pits now. We expect another two laps, let us know you're happy to do that." Lewis : "OK." Bono : "Good man." Not "good, (comma) man", right? "Good man." Raikkonen pits. He's behind Valtteri but he attacks. Stay back, I want my podium. Lewis is in. 3.1. Their pit stops aren't quick enough still. Seb overtakes Perez for P4. So Lewis is still in the lead, Kvyat who's currently P2 is called in, then we have Nasr and then Seb. After Kvyat's pitstops, Perez is P4, Ricciardo P5, Valtteri P6, Raikkonen P7, Sainz P8, Kvyat is out in P9 and Jenson is P10. Nasr pits and is out of the top 10. Valtteri and Raikkonen are racing for P5. The finn stays ahead (Yeah.) (That’s literally the stupidest thing I've ever written in these reviews lmao.) (I'm drafting them now, re-reading myself, correcting typos, thought of just deleting it but you know what here ya go. It’s funny.) (So : Valtteri stays ahead. Obviously.) They're hitting traffic. Lewis sets another fastest lap ahead. And another one. 

On lap 40, he's 12.5 seconds in the lead. The current order is Seb, Perez, Daniel, Valtteri, Raikkonen, Sainz, Kvyat, Massa and Nasr. Ricciardo has just been told they don't think he'll need to stop again. The battle for P4 is brewing. Perez is struggling in P3 as well. I might still get my podium. Seb sets the fastest lap this time. 

10 laps to go. Valtteri is told Perez has started to struggle. Come on. He overtakes Daniel for P4. Raikkonen overtakes Daniel for P5, but he goes wide and Daniel is back ahead. Ohhh but Sainz spun! He's resting against the barriers but is able to get away again. As he does so he loses a piece of his rear wing on the track. He stops again, in another run off area, near a crane. He's out of the race. Meanwhile Raikkonen is going for Ricciardo again. And he's ahead. Valtteri is also less than a second behind Perez now. Oh my god. Terrifying. A marshal ran out on the track to retrieve the piece of rear wing and a car was right there. It's Seb : "Now it's clear but we've got a very brave Russian running across the track." Oh and Ricciardo has stopped as well! Damn that's a lot of retirements in this race isn't it? It might be a broken suspension in his case.

3 laps to go. Valtteri, come on, please, my favorite funny guy. Give me that podium. It'd cheer me up. Bono tells Lewis there's 3 laps remaining and they still see something suspect performance-wise from the rear wing? Lewis says he can feel it. They suggest he does not use DRS if he gets it. Eesh. Seb is less than 10 seconds away now and he just set the fastest lap. Surely the rear wing issue isn't bad enough that it would cost Lewis the win by itself but he can't afford mistakes. It's the last lap. Come on Valtteri. OH SHIT RAIKKONEN CAUGHT UP TO HIM AS WELL AAAAAAH I don't care about Perez on the podium please give me a good one YESSS HERE WE GO BABY they're both ahead actually! Woooohooo! Just one more lap now 

NO OMG NO! Oh the cry I let out IRL I can't believe this shit. 

Raikkonen took him out. Fucking hell. Valtteri is out in the barriers and Raikkonen is limping with damage. Perez is back in P3. I'm so disappointed. 

It's the end of the race.

Lewis wins ahead of Seb! 

Massa finishes ahead of Raikkonen. Mercedes hasn't won the WCC yet. "What the fuck did he do?" was Valtteri's reaction to the collision. Calm and collected as he usually is. 

Also : 6 retirements. 

Lewis crouches down beside the car and pats it.

Let's hear what Niki has to say. He says the issue with Nico's throttle was bad, for the constructor championship and for Nico especially. Ted says if Raikkonen gets a penalty they might still win the WCC. Niki bobs his head from side to side. He doesn't want to win it like this, he says. Ted says of course Nico had an issue but Lewis did everything right today. Niki says he drove as he always does : perfect race from beginning to the end, nothing wrong. He shrugs. He's so unimpressed lmao. "No worry, so really fantastic." 

Aw fuck. Bernie and Putin are there again. Lewis goes to shake his hand. Doesn't make him wait this time. (Remember 2014?) He also shakes the woman's hand, I think she's the interpreter. "Good to see you," he says to Putin, which is so weird. "Good day." I think Putin says "for you!" and he hugs him. All the cells in my body are screaming out of discomfort. Lewis walks past him to get to the table. 

Perez just shakes his hand and joins Lewis. He taps his back. "Hey man!" Lewis exclaims, and they shake hands and hug briefly. Seb shakes Putin's hand as well. Putin congratulates him as he did the others and Seb says "thanks for a great event" before he shakes the rest of the party's hands as well. They're standing between him and the others. You can barely ask Putin to scoot aside to let you pass... Perez and Lewis are talking but we can't hear them well enough for the same reason. Just get these people out of here. The cameraman actually doesn't care and pushes his way through to them, thankfully.

Oh fuck no. The caps have been replaced by fur beanies? (I felt this was an inappropriate way to call them so I looked it up and fyi they’re called ushankas) Seb finally makes his way to them. "Heeeey!" he salutes Perez. They hug. Lewis is asking for Putin's opinion on how the ushanka fits him. Lewis please stop. "I'm wearing it right?" he asks the woman.

Seb turns his head and smiles, Lewis chuckles. Someone is telling Putin's group they're gonna go and take position. "Hey you're getting quick during the race uh?" Lewis tells Seb while pulling his race suit back on.

Seb put his hand on his shoulder, squeezes it. "Who's the quickest lap?" he says with a smile in his voice. "Who's the quickest lap?" and he

Jesus christ

He does the gayest thing I've seen them do so far to the point I had to take a few seconds. 

They turn to the screens and he's holding him by the shoulders from behind.

I mean. It seems like nothing but the way they can't keep from touching each other and the gesture is so. Domestic. Fuck. It's like they forgot there were people in the room, istg. They touch each other with such ease, so naturally. They're looking at the times, Seb turns to Lewis with a big stupid grin. "What was your quickest lap?" he says, his hand resting delicately on his Lewis' shoulder blade.

"I don't know!" Lewis says. Seb says he did forty something. "Did YOU do forty[something]?" he asks playfully. "I don't know," Lewis repeats. "I don't think I did a forty[something]," he shakes his head. Seb puts his closed fist against his cheek.

As Lewis turns to him with a smile, he pretends to punch him. "I don't think I did!" Lewis exclaims. 

It's unfortunately time for the podium. I was enjoying this interaction, obviously. (And yes, it earned its own post, don’t worry, I’ll post it later)

Ew. Perez just hugged Putin. Lewis shows off his hat, touches both drivers who touch him back and here we go for the anthems.

Putin kisses Lewis on both cheeks as he gives him the trophy. Lewis seems kinda uncomfortable. He throws the trophy up in the air again, twice.

They all get kisses on the cheeks with their trophies but it's weirder when it's Putin obvi.

Ah Perez' dad is there and very happy of course. 

Oh god it's Eddie Jordan doing the interviews. Lewis says a few words in Russian and it's nice but also I always find it a bit cringe when he does it for some reason. (Not just in Russian, right, just, generally.) It's Lewis' 42nd win. He equaled Seb! Jordan says they wanted to see a fight between him and Nico. He says him too. Jordan suggests he surely missed him there as well because they were starved of an exciting race at the front. Lewis nods all the while. Lewis agrees and he says he was excited because they were close at the beginning and it's a shame for the team to have lost one of the cars. Once he knew Seb was behind him he wished for him to be able to race him. But he doesn't take what they have for granted and the team has done an amazing job. Proud and happy to be there. 

Seb says he hoped at some point there was a slight chance to catch Lewis but he had too much pace and he wasn't really pushing at the end. 

Oh the broadcast went black. We didn't hear the end of Seb's interview. Lewis and he are chatting during Perez' interview of course.

Back to Lewis. Jordan asks about his tyre problems. He says there wasn't much of an issue. Jordan says we could hear him complain. He says the safety car was a little bit too slow but it was okay. He thanks everybody again. 

Alright then let's wait and see if Mercedes gets the title, I guess. Raikkonen thinks it was a racing incident, of course Valtteri doesn't. The whole broadcast agrees Raikkonen is completely at fault. Valtteri is so disappointed his eyes look wet in his interview. Poor boy. 

Toto calls it an "optimistic manœuvre" but doesn't want to comment further because it's not one of his cars. He says it's a shame for Valtteri because he would have been on the podium. He says about Nico's problem that the sport is cruel sometimes. He had a brilliant weekend. He also agrees the Ferraris are becoming really strong. He points out they had an issue on Lewis' car though with a rear wing instability. He says they expected Ferrari to be very strong in the next year but they've proven themselves strong earlier than anticipated. (He's towering over Simon, Johnny and Hill and it's actually such a funny image these three men – and Simon and Hill aren't small – on one side of my screen looking up at him on the other side of it. Such presence.) Simon asks if he talked to Nico. Toto says he's obviously gutted with the situation, and it doesn't make much sense to try and go calm him down right now. He needs to come back, he's a strong fighter, he'll be with them next year trying again. He also says as for the WDC, Lewis needs to finish 11 points ahead of Seb to win it in Austin so… And he makes the universal sign for 'calm down' with his hand. Simon asks how he keeps everybody's emotions in check now, with the titles so close. He says you have to keep control of your emotions and your feet on the ground because it's not over until it's over. "Let's wait until mathematically it's not possible anymore to lose it." 

Here's Lewis. He's all smiles.

He says the rear wing issue was a bit of a concern at the end, so he took it easy. Even though you're in front it's still a hard race and there's a lot of opportunities to make mistakes. You have to stay in the zone.

He knew they were one-stopping so if you damage the tyres, you have to stop again. He had to make a lot of changes along the way and everytime Sebastian picks up the pace you have to answer. He felt like it was a massive challenge for a race even though he was in the lead. It's a shame he didn't get to race with Nico, he was excited about it. She asks how close he got to him in the first lap (remember? I said he surely made contact with his rear). His eyes widen. "Yeah! Well… I mean, what happens is when the VSC comes out you've gotta stomp on the breaks," he says.

Then he says the real safety car came out so he actually didn't have to do that, and they "were on it" and Nico braked.

So they nearly took each other out, but fortunately Kimi didn't hit him, although he nearly lost it and spun (he did have to take evasive action).

She explains what the situation is with the WDC and asks how it would be to win in Austin, which he loves so much. He doesn't understand. "Win the race?" he asks, confused.

She explains again. If he wins 2 points ahead of Nico and 11 ahead of Seb in the next race he could get his third title in Texas. "Wow… I didn't even… I didn't even know that, so…" She hints at him, not quite in the mic but we hear anyway, that the place is pretty special to him. He looks aside as he thinks. "I don't know really what to say!" he cracks a big smile.

"I just gotta take a step back and enjoy what is going on now." And push as hard as he can in the next races, there's still loads of points available.

But it's the best position he's ever been in in his career "I don't really know what to say about it," just that they've been fortunate on his side of the garage with the reliability and he hopes that as a team they'll be able to rectify the issues they did have "and uh…" he smiles, "yeah."

He says it might not have been the most exciting day for the viewers today (it was far from the most bored I've been this season though) but you have to take it when you have it. 

It's funny how he reacted. You know he must have been thinking about the title, even though he might say he didn't, you know, his usual spiel of one race at a time. Like I'm not saying he calculates the points and all, I don't think he does, but he must have known he was in a very, very good position for the title. Still, when she brings it up, it's like it finally dawns on him. Like he had this notion that, sure, he was leading the WDC standings for ages if not from the start of the season, actually, but he only right there and then actually understood that he might, that he would, surely, get it. He has a different smile then, a different look in his eye, a less controlled emotional expression. You can tell it truly drives him, truly excites him. 

For some reason we later get a second interview with Lewis. Not complaining. He's with Hill. He says he's getting close but not letting himself get ahead of himself and asks what he does now when he goes home, "count the days to Texas or what ?" He answers of course definitely not, he enjoys every day, he tries to make sure he lives life to the max. He says he's learning a lot in his spare time. He says they're going to the factory the next day and he wants to make sure he's always improving when he's in the car. (Did I not answer an ask once saying his best or most important quality was his willingness to learn?) (Yes I did.) He says there's still room to improve this car, for example quali wasn't perfect this time, and that's his goal. Hill brings up the rear wing issue and says there's always nervous moments. Lewis says yes, towards the end, he felt weird things at the rear, it felt like it was getting a bit loose. He repeats again he was excited to race with Nico, as he thinks many people were, but maybe in the future (be careful what you wish for...). Hill asks if he was to win the title in America, would it be special for him at all? He sighs heavily. "To be honest… I mean…" and then says he won't let himself think about it. There's still 100 points available, "is that right?" Hill counts : "there's still five– four races left, yeah." So he's gonna focus on doing the job, he can never ever get ahead of himself. He's gonna enjoy the moment. He says "you've been there before, you know what it's like!" And Hill goes : "I– Lewis, I have ONE world championship so…"

Lewis shies away with a smile. Hill points out he's close to being the best British driver, and so they're all holding their breath and it's good to see and, and, and. Lewis thanks him. He says he's proud to wave the flag, to stand on the podium beneath it, he's proud when he hears the national anthem, he hopes he's representing all the Brits the best way he can. Hill says he definitely is and congratulates him for the win. 

Uh… He's walking away like he shat himself. Mmh. Let's move on.

They're now waiting in front of race control for the final word on Raikkonen's investigation. 

They're still waiting after Ted's notebook. Here we go… Raikkonen gets a 30-second penalty : MERCEDES WINS THE WCC! Too bad it's happening that way though, I would have liked to see them celebrate properly. Alonso also got a 5-second time penalty for exceeding track limits. In the next GP post race interviews, Raikkonen said he would still do the same thing, though. 

Oh. I also read Seb criticised Lewis for going too slow at the restart after the safety car and that Grosjean said his seat broke upon impact in his accident.