#and the store definitely isn't a front for smuggling

[bambifornia]

huuUOOoLRgGghh fiinnne I can't stay away from you all

i bring more autobot!swindle. plus my attempt at writing his backstory

disclaimer : most of the stuff below isn't canon i just wrote this for fun. if u guys wanna make ur own swindle backstories i invite yall to do so :D we will make our own swindle content

swindle came online during cybertron's early years of the age of expansion. the autobots (with their goal to expand cybertron's empire) engineered a set of bots who would serve cybertron as its intergalactic merchants, programmed to be ambitious bots who sought profit. they also came with bigger processors (for storing transactions and whatnot) and versatile frames (so they could withstand organic climates)

shortly after coming online, swindle was assigned a teacher (another merchant) who'd pass down the knowledge of the trade. swindle did his best to keep up with his lessons

as a student, swindle was determined and clever. as a bot, though...eughh...

- he had less of a filter, and didn't know how to keep a poker face

- his little new England accent used to be a lot thicker (think earthspark swindle)

- very friendly, had a lot of amicas back in the day (he was definitely the "I know a bot" guy). it was a struggle for him to keep quiet

- loved hands on activities, hated sitting still

- kept a journal detailing his intergalactic trips. tried to doodle any organics he found interesting

- LOVED shiny stuff. he was like a crow lmao

- his sharp glossa would sometimes get his aft beat

- despite being a chatterbox, he wasn't as suave back then. he'd often get himself in awkward situations, which he'd try to talk himself out of the embarrassment but he'd end up digging a deeper hole for himself

- petty king. also kinda nosy and had a thing for gossip

- loved pranking, and teased the bots he liked

once he was ready, swindle was given a ship and assigned a trading post (as a starting point). from that point, swindle was a rootin tootin merchant and nothing bad ever happened to him again :D...

...

until the quintessa skirmishes

the age of expansion ended with border disputes between cybertron and quintessa. multiple skirmishes sproutted along the border, and while swindle didn't fight in them, he was certainly caught in the crossfire. swindle ended up with a broken ship, a looted inventory, and a bungled up frame. he had to return to cybertron for repairs

back on cybertron, swindle finds a planet wildly different from the one he knows. tensions between autobots and decepticons are rising, and the banks aren't holding up that great. swindle finds himself in a tight spot (financially speaking) since he still has to deal with his losses from quintessa. unable to go back to his actual merchant job, swindle resorts to taking odd jobs to keep himself afloat (yes, even stealing)

when the war breaks out, swindle gets drafted into the front lines (a decision that still baffles him to this day). since he's not much of a fighter, the autobots have swindle work as a spy, ordering him to smuggle weapons out of decepticon servos...

in future hindsight, that was a poor decision

---

wrapping it up here because i don't want this post to get too long LMAO but I still have more ideas for him if yall are interested. just know that this is not the end of swindle lore

ALSO I finally came up with autobot!swindle designations :D I've narrowed it down to 3 and I need help deciding. it's either between

quickdime - cuz. you know. he's always looking to make a quick buck

treasury - his subspace acts like a treasury if you kinda think about it

fortune - idk it sounds cute. besides fortune tends to "favor the bold and clever"

if u made it this far then congrats. thank u for listening to me yap. have a bonus doodle

[quote-unquote-quest]

Hey!! You! Do you like queer purple goofballs? Consider voting for my queer purple goofball in this poll!!

"But Aloe!!" You may cry. "We don't know anything about your queer purple goofball!" Fantastic news, there is a (sort of long) solution to that under the ReadMore link, and you're welcome to reply to this post or send me an ask (on any of my blogs) if you wanna know more!

Also if you reblog this I will love you forever

SURPRISE!! There isn't just one Kalamari, there are two!!!! Magnapinna is Kalamari's alter :3 She's pink, Kalamari is purple, and together they're an eccentric bisexual-colored mess of gradients and glitter

Kalamari:

-Wandering Salesperson, takes their job very silly instead of very seriously. All her goods are definitely totally for sure legally acquired, don't worry about it!

-25 years old

-He/She/They/It pronouns, that he likes people to alternate Frequently. Would consider using neopronouns too, but hasn't decided on any yet

-Sexuality is 'whatever is fun!' and gender is 'just a goofy guy'

-Whimsical!! All about having fun and finding strange things

-Absurd optimist

-In an 'It's complicated' relationship with another oc of mine, Glass!

-Very good at smuggling things. It's awful at being sneaky, but she stands out so much that people pay more attention to him than whatever she might be holding. The kind of person that could confidently walk out of a store while carrying an entire television they just stole

-Never ever takes his mask off. No one knows what their face looks like. If asked about it, she gives a different answer every time, and it gets more ridiculous the more you ask. ('I'm bad at smiling, but I wanted people to know I'm happy', 'It's comfy', 'I just like having secrets', 'I'm legally unallowed to show my face', 'People can't handle looking at me and I got tired of it', 'Oh I don't actually have a face under here', 'Never piss off a wizard'.)

-Name refers to squid served as food (calamari)

-Calls Magnapinna 'Magna'

Magnapinna:

-Wandering Voice of Reason, constantly working to keep Kalamari safe and make sure she actually gets things done

-Also 25 years old

-She/They/It pronouns, doesn't care which one(s) people decide to use because she doesn't care for people talking about her at all

-Sexuality is 'no' and gender is 'absolutely not'

-Certified The Horrors (tm). Can be kind of mean, but she's just very serious and doesn't have time to deal with other people. Someone in this system has to be responsible!

-Resigned realist at best, irritated pessimist at worst

-Highly approves of Glass' positive influence on Kalamari, highly disapproves of directly interacting with her

-Secretly shy!

-Has her own mask, a pouty one like in the picture above, but often just wears Kalamari's, as she doesn't think anyone deserves to know when she's fronting. (Really, she's mostly just shy about people potentially getting to know her.)

-Name refers to a rare, creepy squid that looks like they 100% would eat a person, they're so scary to me. I love them so much

-Calls Kalamari 'Mari' sometimes, mostly when things have gone terribly, horribly, horrifically wrong and she's stressed about it

[kariachi]

A follow-up to last night’s pre-Osmobeast au!!

Gar has returned to the store with more company.

~~

“Kev, fuckers are back.” It wasn’t hard to guess who he meant, and Kevin put on his work face as he set his tools aside. With a roll of his shoulders, he stepped out of the backroom just in time to see Logan and another of the local heroes reach the counter. Koriand’r, codename: Starfire, Tamaranean royal. Oh, they had planned for this sort’ve profit potential.

“We were hoping you’d have something Star’d recognize,” Logan was saying, friendly smile widening when he caught sight of Kevin’s welcoming grin from over Argit’s shoulder.

“We might,” Argit answered with a questioning lilt, focusing on the royal. “What specifically are you looking for?”

“I was hoping you would have some Tamaranean items,” the royal replied and he nodded.

“Okay, I think we’ve got a book or two on the shelf, and Kevin did a piece up, was inspired by…” He snapped his fingers in Kev’s direction. “What was it?”

“Some reef off, I think the Iranan Coast,” he said, rolling his eyes with his best ‘brothers, what can you do’ air. “Saw it on a program and just, had to make something.” Her eyes lit and Kevin let himself preen in response. The only thing better than having a plan come together was when it involved shit you built with your own two hands.

“I would love to give it a look!”

“Great!” Flashing a grin Argit slipped behind him and out from around the counter, heading for the statuary with the hero following after. "It’s just over here, then I’ll show you the books we’ve got. And if you want something specific, just say the word and we can get it in for you, though it may take a while to come in-"

Chuckling and shaking his head, Logan leaned on the counter, smiling at Kevin.

“You really make some of those yourself,” he asked, gesturing towards the statuary, and Kevin preened further.

“Made all of ‘em,” he said, “and all the tech, and one or two of the books might be my work.” Logan gaped for a moment, then burst out laughing.

“Do you leave anything for that guy to do, or is he just here to look pretty?”

“Watch it,” Kevin said with a snorting laugh, “that’s my brother. He’s the better salesman.” Also the better longterm planner, and keeper of the leash on Kevin’s temper.

“Well, he’s certainly winning Star’s business,” Logan said without a hint of question about the ‘brother’ thing. Kevin couldn’t help a twinge of fondness at that. Odds were the guy wouldn’t know an Osmosian or Erinaen from a hole in the dirt, and still he just accepted the statement? You didn’t find that often enough, especially not on Earth. “Hey, there’s a question I’ve been wondering since I saw all the stuff you guys have on our last visit. I’ve heard practically nothing about alien videogames like, ever, and…” Snorting again, Kevin grinned widely.

“Oh there is so much cool shit. We can’t legally stock the best stuff because the consoles are above Earth’s registered tech level” -this was true- “but I’ve been working on modding some Earth consoles to play some good ones.” This was semi-true. “If you want I can grab some stuff out the back, you can have a couple test runs, see if there’s anything you’d like to buy?” The way Logan’s face lit up like it was his birthday was downright adorable and he began bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“That would be awesome, I’ve been wanting to try something new.” Oh yeah, hook, line, sinker.

“If you look over there, beneath the toys,” Kevin said, pointing as he backed towards the door, “there’s our full selection, and I’ll go grab a console and screen.”

“Great, thanks!” He slipped into the back as Logan headed for the games and pumped a fist in victory as soon as he knew there was no audience.

If they played their cards right this was going to be their most beneficial day since they’d moved out here.