#and then a decade later u treat urself by buying pistachios when theyre not on sale
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i love to think abt my happily mediocre future
#saw a post tht was like remember being 17 and dreaming abt how luscious ur adult life is gonna be#and then a decade later u treat urself by buying pistachios when theyre not on sale#and taking a bath on a weeknight#and like. lol. thats already how i treat myself cheap bitches represent#but just like. once i get out of here ik things r immediately gonna get soooo much bettee#like i can already see it. when i leave the house i become like the life of the party#i don't get burned out on social time really or anything#like the second i'm safely gone i'm so so happy#once i get out of here i can't can't can't wait to be able to have just the smallest things#just hair and clothes and being able to exist as i am#it's everything to me#not to mention being able to hang out w anyone#regardless of 'how gay they look'#i'm still trying to figure out how to tell my friend that idk if it's safe for either of us for her 2 come over anymore#and it sucks it sucks it sucks#& i've been thinking about legally changing my name#& ik it's a really tedious process to get it changed get the important legal stuff changed get everything else right#but like imagining my dl saying leigh oliver#and not having to have the awkward real name v legal name convo w people#bro that shit is intoxicating#also very symbolic of being free of my abuser's control.#but yea... i can't wait to have my mediocre little future where i can finally thrive#where i get to have a real home ie not having to hide#and i don't have to spend so much time feeling paranoid that my abuser is gonna overhear me talking to someone as the real me#& maybe i will become a drag king . who knowse. we will just have 2 wait & see :^)
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