#and then i got a hot gf and had to touch grass for more than just two hours

[orangeandvanila]

that's not what happened at all the pic of him looking beat up happened months before the gumball stuff he just sleep walked, gumball actually only slapped him once got slapped back and started spouting homophobic and ableist slurs and antisemitic bullshit the cantu guy is just an asshole but i guess that doesn't matter as long as it's against dream right

Listen dawg, I am a 21 year old adult who lives on my own with two pets, a job, a car, and a long term gf that I intend to get engaged to. I don't care about what dream or gumball did, and I honestly don't have the energy or patience to find out. It's a funny situation that is funny to laugh at. I would not be surprised to find out that EITHER of them used slurs towards each other bc they are both men who are clearly just shitheads who never grew up. I did, and I sincerely hope the adults who are still fans of dream grow up soon too ;3

[miekasa]

AOT characters x their partner on social media is something I love thinking about omg. Eren is the number 1 menace, I swear, he likes keeping an aesthetic and he wants your face on his profile, and he wants to be in yours, and he will brainstorm for cool captions for you both 😭 Jean acts all shy, but that tall mf also lowkey feels the same way as Eren 😭. Mikasa is very relaxed and cute about it, she’s so effortless when it comes posting you on her feed, same with Sasha probably. Connie would post your funny faces 100% while Armin….blonde coconut I feel would be shy at first but is a fan of couple-y posts. Same with Erwin, and Erwin would add the cheesiest suburban dad captions like “my better half” or shit like “forever yours” 😭🥴😭 Hange is just all over, like they’ll be super unpredictable, from wildly funny to very touching stuff. Pick is just sweetness!! All around sweetness that can make you melt. Porco would be…actually I’m not sure, he seems like he’s in line with Eren and Jean 😭 Meanwhile, Levi would not care at all about social media announcements and “instagram official” and people outside his close circles find out about his partner on their tenth-year anniversary because they bumped into you both while you were out on a date 😭😭

No because you hit the nail on the head here anon!!

Eren and Connie are fiends and almost shameless in how much they want to be on your socials. If you do the thing where you record your food when you’re out to eat with Eren, he’ll interject into your video—“And me! She’s with me!! Show me!!” After some time—or if you tease him by purposefully leaving him out of the frame—he’ll just snatch your phone when you’re recording or taking pictures and makes sure to get himself with the front camera 😭😭 oh and you will be on his, it comes with the price of dating him, he loves posting videos that gradually zoom in on your face before you notice he’s recording.

Connie just photobombs everything. Even if just his eyebrows make in the frame, you better post it. He’s watching you. He loves taking funny selfies and posting them with absolutely no context, and videos too!! He reminds me of that TikTok of the guy who pans the camera to his gf laying in the grass is like, “We had a beach date, and, yeah I love her,” and pans the camera to his face, “I’m faster than her tho. We raced. But yeah, love her.”

Jean pretends like he doesn’t care if you don’t post him, but he cares 😭😭 he’s always willing to take a photo for you, but he wants to take them with you too!! He’ll not so subtly be like, “Hey, did you post those pics from the other day?” as a gentle “reminder,” and he’s honestly so cute you gotta give into him. He likes posting pics with you too, and claims he’s gotta keep it updated so he’s got something to show his mom—“She’ll think I’m making you up if I don’t have proof, babe.”

Armin gets nervous about posting you at first—the whole being publicly affectionate thing, plus the internet is forever, you know. But once he sees that he doesn’t necessarily have to post you guys holding hands or kissing all the time, he relaxes. Just a picture together, or a picture of you from one of your dates every once in a while is cool with him. He takes good candids and they’re his favorite to edit and make all pretty. He gets surprised whenever you post him, and he’s honestly not checking for it/on social media all that often, so he finds out through a friend like Sasha who’s bubbling, “Armin you guys are gonna make me jealous!! Your beach dates look so cute!!” And Armin’s a little confused, until she adds, “I saw the pictures on Insta!!” And now he’s slightly pink in the face.

Porco is… more likely than not recording you innocently vibing or minding your own business before he comes to bother you bye. He thinks your surprised face is so fucking funny and needs several video evidences of it. He gets grumpy when you get an off-guard of him, but just show it to him after and suddenly he’s like, “I look pretty good there, actually,” like yeah, dumbass, that was the point 🙄🙄 he posts his shit on Twitter tho, and is always acting like he doesn’t know you—“Girlfriend for sale, willing to trade for Breath of the Wild. At least $30 cash otherwise,” and thinks it’s funny when you threaten to block him. Or he’s subtweeting you when you CLEARLY follow him: “Anybody else know someone who falls asleep 30 mins into a drive?? No?? Just me??”

Erwin and his captions anon please I’m hollering. You know he uses the filters embedded into Instagram, too, and it makes some pics come out grainy/more dull. He comes questioning Hange with genuine curiosity, “How come your photos look so… bright? How do I do that?” Sir, open up VSCO and free yourself from the shackles of Sepia.

Levi could not care less about what and how much you post of him on social media, and his own is so scarcely updated; he really just has it so he’s not a complete ghost to the world, and to occasionally cure a fit of boredom. The pictures he posts are always nice tho, simple, cleanly edited and shot, and sometimes he’s not even in them. He doesn’t mind if you post him or not, but every once in a while he’ll stop by with a simple heart emoji in the comments. (To which Hange absolutely loses their shit every time and loves to joke about, “omgggggg are you and @leviackerman official???? 🤪🤪🤪)

Hange is the undisputed champion of photodumps and you cannot prove me wrong. Above all, they love posting a series of chaotic photos that tell a story—three slides dedicated to photos that caught you falling down; several photos back to back of you stuffing your face with food; frames of the both of you posing for a photo with the front timer but of course something made them topple over you. Their captions don’t help either, almost always unrelated from the disaster that just unfolded. Could have posted a photo dump of you two skipping (and falling) at the park and the caption is like “fun fact: a cockroach can survive up to five weeks with its head cut off!!” (The disconnect between the pics and captions always confuses Erwin. @e.smith: Very cool! But, what do roaches have to do with you guys looking like you broke your ankles? PS—is everybody okay?)

Mikasa is relaxed about posting you, and she lowkey really likes to be posted on your socials. She doesn’t say much about it, but she likes going back through your profile and looking and what you posted, and the comments from your guys’ friends being supportive. The pictures don’t necessarily spell out that you guys are Together, but that’s okay with her; she doesn’t need four pics of you guys kissing on her timeline to make her happy. She has lots of pictures she doesn’t post tho and you’d be shocked to find them, you gotta hype her up a bit to post them, “Mika you look hot here!!! The people need to see!!! Feed them!!!”

It comes naturally to Sasha, too. She likes documenting your dates with pictures and videos and has a blast editing them afterwards, too. Just AirDrop her the pictures you took and she’ll fix them up for both of you to post later. She’s a fan of silly matching captions and is always in your comments with a million emojis.

Pieck absolutely the sweetest girl. Her whole feed manages to naturally come out in soft filters and pastel colors. She always tells you she doesn’t have to edit a thing when you’re in the picture. Definitely posts photo dumps that include pics of food, sunrises, her cats, and a few off-guards of you thrown in there. Abuses the bugs and sparkly emojis in the captions.

Annie literally posts one pic a few months (by a few months, I mean like 11 months) into your relationship with the simple and upfront caption: “This is my girlfriend” and everyone is in the comments immediately bye. Berty is acting super surprised even tho he basically set you guys up, somehow Reiner genuinely didn’t know, and Sasha is clowning him for not catching on, and then he’s like “wait since when????? i thought they were just really good friends????” Mikasa comments a singular scissor emoji and it sends everyone into orbit, even Annie likes the comment.

[ahmyhotdog]

Silence Is Golden

      It was like any other day. Zell awoke at home in Balamb in bed. Coming down the stairs he would greet his mother as he normally would when he was home. A happy good morning and a kiss on the cheek. It was no surprise that breakfast was already made for him. It was just another normal day…

      “Don’t forget your father will be home soon,” Kolinka said as she washed a pan from the food she cooked on it. Zell froze and dropped his fork.

      “What did you just say?“ He asked half unsure what he had just heard. The older woman would turn to her son and give him a questionable look.

      "I said your father will be home soon. You know the fishing he was on lasted a little longer then they had expected. Honestly Zell,” She said with a light sigh. “Have you been using GF’s again? You know what they do to you.” 

      “I have to go,” Zell said hastily as he scarfed down the rest of his food and then milk. Bolting from his seat he didn’t even kiss his mother goodbye as Zell had already bolted out the front door.

      He knew what she said had made no sense. His father had been dead for years. Drowned at sea. Before he realized it Zell was already running through the streets. His hands were clenched into tight fists as he pumped his legs as hard as he could. This was impossible, his mind screamed at Zell as he decided to take a shortcut and hurled himself over a short half wall in a flip. Running across the the dry grass when he came up to the wall again on the other side he found himself having to jump up onto the wall as it was too high for him to flip over it. His running wouldn’t cease. The more he ran toward the docks the farther away it seemed. The buildings grew in height as he became lower to the ground. 

      Before Zell knew it once he came to a building he had easily climbed a million times before found himself having to use the rather large tree to climb up to reach the roof. Everything was taken to long.

      Hurry, hurry, he told himself. You’re taking too long!

      Reaching the top his small frame raced across the roof. Reaching the edge he stared down at the ground. He felt far too high up to jump in spite it only being one floor up. Balling his hands Zell backed up a few feet before running full force. Launching himself in a jump off the edge a jubilant smile graced his face as for a moment he felt like he was flying through the air. Very quickly the ground rushed toward him. In spite having done jumps like that a million times before Zell did not stick his landing. Nor did his leg as his ankle rolled at an award landing. Tumbling across the grass in a pile Zell curled up on himself as he clutched his leg in pain.

      The tears came quickly as the child cried out in pain. Rolling onto his back Zell wailed loudly throughout the quiet town. There was no sight of another soul around until a young blonde man stepped up to him.

      “Are you hurt?” The man asked in spite it being obvious that Zell was hurt. He didn’t want to startle the child.

      “M, my leg..!” Zell cried as he looked up at the man in his tear covered face.

      “Hm…” Crouching down the man held out his hand simply over the boy’s leg before his hand glowed a pale soft green for a moment. Just like that, Zell’s leg was healed from a Cure spell. “Better?” He asked.

      Zell’s crying stopped as the pain stopped. He flexed his ankle gently and smiled happily. “It feels loads better mister!” Looking up at the man again he sat up. “I’m tryin’ t'get to my pa. My ma said he’s coming home on the docks! And I’m gonna miss him!”

      “Is that so?” The man’s expression didn’t change. The look in his eyes looked jealous for a moment before they softened and he stood again. “You shouldn’t walk on that after just being healed. I can carry you to him,” he offered.

      “O, okay.” Normally Zell knew better than to go with strangers. But this was his father. He so rarely ever got to see the man. “My name is Zell!” He chirped with a smile. The older blond didn’t reply. Instead he leaned down to scoop the boy up into his arms. He was rather careful to not touch his ankle before starting to walk toward the docks. Quietly Zell looked down at his hands. The man felt warm and familiar. Leaning his head on his coat Zell looked up at the man. “Thank you, for helping me.”

      “It’s fine,” the man said. The skies above them grew dark as they approached the dock area. His mouth moved again, but Zell couldn’t make out the words as the wind gusted to loudly. There the blond man stood on the dock placing them at the edge of the pier. Out in the water they could see an old fishing boat. Zell couldn’t help but look excited. He would know the boat from anywhere. It was the same one his father worked on.

      There was a sudden loud boom that shattered through the skies from thunder. The boy jumped and clung to the man as he stood there unfazed. “It’s alright,” he urged Zell calmly. The rain started to fall heavily. And yet there was no sound as it fell on them or everything around them. Harder and harder the rain raged. The gusts became bigger causing the water to become choppy. Zell filled with fear as the silence fell on them. He couldn’t help but cling to the man’s coat in fear. Watching as the boat in the distance bobbed up and down in the water. As the waves grew bigger and bigger the boat would bob farther up and down until finally there was a wave as tall as a building crashing against the boat, hiding it for a moment. Zell’s heart beated quickly. He screamed, but no one could hear him as another tall waved surged up in front of the boat! When it came crashing down the boat was gone. Out of view.

     Zell’s heart sank with the boat as he cried. Lifting his hands he turned to curl against the man. His small fists beating against his chest as he screamed and cried. There was no sound as the rain pounded on them both. Yet the man would look down at Zell finally. While his face was unmoved it was all in his eyes. A sad look that spoke of unfathomable guilt. Blood crept down his face as there was a fresh diagonal cut across the bridge of his nose. Yet all Zell could down was cry. Cry as he clung to the man in fear. Fear of losing this feeling that washed over him. As the storm raged gales blew past them. The winds tore into the town around them. Taring at the buildings behind them Zell lifted his head. His sky blue eyes staring up at the man with wide eyes. Everything crashed about them in perfect silence. His face twisted as he tried to fight against the man’s hold who was now holding onto the boy tightly, protectively. His arms felt strong, but he clung to Zell like he was afraid of losing the boy as their world crumbled around them.

     As a tidal wave rose high from out in the water it drew the blond man’s attention. He stared at it harshly as he was completely resolved in what was about to happen. His mouth twisted into a frown as he cradled Zell’s head with a gloved hand. Leaning his head lightly into the boy’s the screeching silence was finally broken as he whispered, “I’m sorry, Zell.” For a moment the world was still. The rain, the wind, and even the impending doom that was the wave of water–everything was still as Zell looked up at the man one final time. Within a blink everything moved at once. The doom that was out to sea came crashing down on them as they were swept away.

      There was nothing left. No boat, no town, and certainly not the two.

      Zell shot up quickly nearly screaming frantically. His heart pounded as his arms thrashed. His mind dizzy and sick as he didn’t know where up was at first. His body was trembling as he was hot with sweat. Shaking still he curled his legs closely as he continued to sob. The memory of the dream still fresh within his mind. The silence wasn’t here. And there was no storm. No ocean. There was just the sounds of his breathing as he cried.