#and then i got less than 5hrs sleep on top of not sleeping well days before due to stress probably bc i kept having stress dreams

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EEEHU + Scenes From A Hypnotic Skype Call 3/29/20

This is a writing about my weekend. This is a writing about EEEHU, and a writing about a Skype date. They are very different in tone, but inevitably interconnected. This is a writing I debated on doing -- on how to express it, and whether or not I should share it.This is a writing that starts very hard, but gets easier. 

I was a part of two classes on Saturday. I thought that would be easy; I had been kicking myself for not submitting more and was very close to deciding to put on an unconference class. 

It was not easy. 

I didn't sleep well that night, and haven't been sleeping well in general. Since shifting my work, I felt like my sleep should be pretty stable, since I work on my own schedule now. But I've been staying up late and waking up early. It's a bad pattern, and it was the second day in a 5hr sleep cycle. 

I was already drained, and I had a lot to juggle to get everything running smoothly Saturday morning. It was taxing and I was exhausted. I was snapping at stupid things, uncharacteristically. I kept saying, with forced glee, "It's just like a real con! I'm sleep deprived and stressed!"

But once we got started, the first class with MrDream went well, and I enjoyed it. The audience was incredibly generous towards both him and me. I was so pleased at how many people were getting information and how many people said that they loved my trance face, although I had to force down a little bit of juvenile bitterness that we couldn’t just monopolize the class with play and go as hard as we usually do. There were 140ish people in the class -- a lot. We did Q&A to wrap up, and then I had to run to do tech testing for the podcast.

What I couldn’t do was give MrDream a hug after the class. What I couldn’t do was walk down the hotel hallway to see him and decompress. What I couldn’t do was hang around and chat with attendees in the lobby and in the con spaces.

I felt that immensely, stinging, but I had to push it down, because I had more to do.

The podcast, despite some inevitable technical issues, went well enough. By that point, I was feeling incredibly drained, and hadn’t been able to eat more than some yogurt for the majority of the day because of feeling crappy from not sleeping. It went for 2 hours -- very long, and we had no breaks. I was on autopilot. I had a good time, but felt almost dissociated, far away from myself.

I turned off the meeting, and I was suddenly in my bed, alone, just with cc, waiting for the audio to save.

I could not go see MrDream. I could not go see my friends. I could not get a hug. I could not text someone to ask where the party was and then stay up until 4am doing hypnosis and talking bullshit.

I started crying -- not weeping, not choking out tears, but wailing, hard crying.

It was the build-up of nearly a month of not processing that life, right now, is different. I cannot see my loved ones. I cannot see my community. EEEHU was a monstrous effort by its organizers which I applaud, and am so dearly happy that so many people enjoyed it, but for me, it was a harsh reminder that it was not a con in the way that I needed, and that I will not get that in the foreseeable future.

And I can’t see MrDream.

Our 2-year dating anniversary was just over a week ago. We would have had a date, riled up from not seeing each other for a month, meeting near the vernal equinox, the change of seasons having become important to us. And then we would have seen each other at NEEHU, a week later.

Now I don’t know when I will see him again.

After keeping that fact so distant from myself, taking one day at a time, I was slapped in the face by it.

I cried. I cried so hard. I have not cried like that in months, maybe a year. It was the rawness of isolation, the feeling of tragedy, of separation.

After a few minutes of it, I stopped, because I didn’t want to dig myself into a hole I couldn’t get out of. I saw myself in a mirror, and saw the mascara running in streaks down my face -- an effect I’ve tried hard to achieve for kink and in scenes for my partners who enjoy tears.

I took out my phone and snapped a picture -- the picture I take for MrDream every day of myself when I feel particularly brainwashed. If this wasn’t such a clear sign of how brainwashed, how dependent, how addicted, how in love I am, then I don’t know what is.

He responded well.

I went to bed early, feeling like I had immensely screwed up in everything the entire day. Again I had trouble sleeping, but I was comforted by the knowledge that I would talk to MrDream on Skype, and woke up feeling still drained, but less raw.

Our call was, of course, what I needed.

It was not the kind of call where we dove headfirst into trance. We spent time decompressing and talking, the sort of relaxed conversation I’ve missed so much since not having long time together.

But when he shifted his tone, when I saw his eyes change so subtly, I felt it all, and I felt everything melt away, helpless to it.

--

This trance is so overwhelming, the lowness of his voice, the feather-light touch of it makes me feel as though this is so much more powerful than aggression, as though I am a fluid which yields so much more softly when given the most gentle pressure, and how weak I feel to that.

He talks about how I can feel myself melting into him and suddenly I feel it, I feel the way his body feels. How much he wants me. How much when even I think about him from far away, he feels it, unconsciously, the force of our connection, we can smell each other, we know the weight of each others’ bodies.

Sinking into him. Filled with him. Empty. Deep.

Going through vivid memories of us together, flashbacks to dates that I suddenly am able to access more effectively.

I weep in trance at how precious that is. I weep while aroused as he controls me, even as I feel myself totally slipping away. The tears stop quickly, leaving me with his control.

He is calling back to the podcast that I know he was there to listen to, using my words, using my ideas, the recognition that he is always paying attention.

When he snaps me up, I am a hypnotized wreck, I can’t talk. He has to snap me up again.

“My shoulders are doing the thing,” I say, smiling, finally. “My brain is doing the thing.”

Loosened, relaxed.

--

We talk about how much we miss each other. He future paces gently about what it will be like when we finally see each other. I cry a little bit again, and it’s the first time I’ve acknowledged this thing with tears in front of him.

We banter Erickson at each other -- our ultimate love language.

--

I’m amazed how quickly I fall away when his flirting shifts intent just slightly. I have been going deeper, I have been going away so much further and faster.

He turns me into a cow, all body, no brain, taking over everything. Dumb cow braincells making me all mouth, all pussy, all tits. Calling back to my fey memories, how holographic they are.

Flashback to his apartment and cumming on top of him.

“Feeling the way the light feels,” he says, and it triggers the exact memory of my thought, in his room, when he took something away from me permanently -- ‘I will never forget the way the light looks in this room at this moment.’

“And then fading away even from this much comprehension into the deepest trance.”

Just hypnosis, just mind control. The absolute feeling of that, the way it drugs me.

I am so close to nothing, he is draining me away… Again I have that sense that if he just pushes a little more, I would go, something would happen, I would be totally gone forever… Again, I flash back to another date, the solstice that I did not share, and how close I was…

“You’ve always been a dumb little girl, wanting this so badly…”

Another flashback…

And he wakes me up, and I just stare at him. He makes a whooshing sound.

“Boy, do I miss this,” he says, all low, so turned on. “Gonna shred you so bad.”

I say his name.

“I’m… somewhere,” I manage, softly.

“Me too,” he says.

I’m so completely focused on his face, so completely keyed into his expression, his eyes, just like I would be if we were together, just like I’ve been learning how to do over Skype after all this time.

“Are we just going to spend 15 minutes staring at each other now?” I whisper, locked onto him.

“If we were alone, do you think we would?” he asks.

“Yes,” I say quietly.

We fix on each other, silently, and it is just like we are.

He makes another whooshing sound, and it breaks, and we both laugh a little.

“Well,” he says, “that was two minutes.”

--

“As if a candle can tell that it’s melting.”

I become an object, melting itself, lit by him, finally no longer a person, finally even more easy to exist as a vessel for his control.

“As if you are a candle in the dark night, dripping wax into your hand, thinking about spells and magic…”

Flashback to Samhain, and the frustration.

“Who we are when we are alone, when we are together, even if there are people around, no matter where, we are always in this other world where magic is happening to us both. Knowing we are always connected, knowing we always have this thing, and no one can stop it.”

Flashback to DMDW.

Flashback to flashbacks of DMDW.

Weeping, again, in deep, deep trance, feeling the magic bubble in my body and bubble where the air meets my skin, just for this one moment, so long since I’ve felt it and never over distance like this -- the magic that I will always question, the magic that seems unquestionable when I feel it and then dreamlike, it fades...

He counts me up, and I feel a tightness, and before 5, I whisper his name and ask to stay here, at 4.

--

I have looked at the picture of myself ever so often. The enormous emotional outpouring feels more distant now, and more manageable, but I don’t ever want to forget how hard that day was for me. I don’t ever want to take things for granted ever again.

It makes me so happy that I was able to have meaningful conversations and input at EEEHU, and help people learn, and watch people having fun. I wish I could have been more present, but I know I was doing the right thing by being at home, and not “at the con."

The hypnosis community is so incredibly important to me. I dedicated my first book to it, and surely I will do the same with my next. I believe I was meant to be here. If I believed in destiny, which I do not, I would say that it has been my destiny since I was a tiny little girl, confused and barely conscious of myself.

All I have to say is this: Take care of yourselves. Stay strong, but know you will fail sometimes. Cry. Laugh. Keep in touch.

I will be here.

--

@hypnokinkwithmrdream

[shannrussell-blog1]

I recently got home from a trip to Nepal to do the Ama Dablam Base Camp Trek with seven other women.

One of my friends from a group I hike with, planned on doing this trek and asked if I wanted to come along. I’ve wanted to visit Nepal for a while so I jumped at the chance, booking annual leave from work for the following year when we planned to go.

She had heard that this particular trek was the most beautiful one to do in Nepal and, not that I’ve done any others, but I’d have to agree.

Where is it located?

Ama Dablam is located in the Everest region with most of the trail being on the popular Everest route. Then with about two days walk to the top, the trail turns off on its own path and becomes less crowded.

Our destination – the beautiful Ama Dablam. 

Using a tour company

My friend who organised the trip opted to use a tour company by the name of Keep Walking Nepal, and I’m so glad she did! Everything was taken care of for us and they looked after us so well. All we had to do was arrange our own flights to Kathmandu. The company picked us all up from the airport (even those who were on a different flight) and took us to our hotel which was all arranged by the company.

We had an itinerary planned for the trip that included days of leisure either side of the trek which was great for sightseeing and shopping! We had some nice dinners together before and after the trek while in Kathmandu and even had a city tour included for us.

Having almost everything taken care of for you is something I would highly recommend. 

Difficulty level

The Ama Dablam Base Camp trek is an 11-day trek and is rated at a moderate difficulty level, so a reasonable level of fitness is required. We were never really told the number of km, they just worked off time so I’m still not sure how many km the trek is all up.

Most of the days were fairly short with a couple of them done by lunchtime. We walked at a fairly slow pace and even slower on the inclines.

A snap of me with Ama Dablam in the background. 

Here’s a copy of our itinerary:

Day 1 – arrive in Kathmandu (meet and greet)

Day 2 – sightseeing in Kathmandu

Day 3 – fly to Lukla, trek to Phakding (approx 3- hrs)

Day 4 – trek to Monjo (approx 3-4hrs)

Day 5 – trek to Namche Bazaar (approx 4-5hrs)

Day 6 – rest day at Namche Bazaar

Day 7 – trek to Deboche via Tengboche (approx 5-6hrs)

Day 8 – trek to Mingbo (approx 4-5hrs)

Day 9 – trek to Ama Dablam Base Camp then to Pangboche (approx 4-5hrs)

Day 10 – trek to Phortse (approx 3-4hrs)

Day 11 – trek to Khumjung (approx 3-4hrs)

Day 12 – trek to Monjo (approx 5-6hrs)

Day 13 – trek to Lukla (approx 4-5hrs)

Day 14 – fly to Kathmandu, rest of day at leisure

Day 15 – trip concludes

There were a few steep accents but the guides take it really slow so that it still remains enjoyable. Of course, if you really wanted you could go ahead which is what one or two of the women in my group did on occasion.

Our group when we made it to base camp!

Fitness and preparation

To prepare for my trip, I would do laps of my local lookout. This has quite a steep but short accent so I’d do a few of them a couple of times per week. I was worried about my fitness level before my trip, but they take it quite slow that I don’t think it’s much of an issue. If you can handle the odd mountain climb at a slow pace then you’d be fine.

You will need to do some training before your hike, just so you’re in good shape. 

Acclimatisation

Ama Dablam Base Camp is at 4600m so acclimatisation on the way up is required to reduce the risk of altitude sickness.

We had a rest day (even though we didn’t rest) in Namche Bazaar at 3440m high to help with acclimatisation. On our rest day, we climbed up to the Everest View Lodge at 3880m, had a drink and came back down.

You will stop along the way to help acclimatise on the trek.

Vaccinations

After visiting my doctor and telling him where I was going, he suggested I start the Hep B shots as well as a Hep A/Typhoid combination shot. Though, it’s worth checking with your doctor as they might recommend something different for you.

Permits

As we do enter the Sagarmatha National Park I believe that you would need some sort of permit but this was all taken care of by Keep Walking Nepal.

The Lukla airport is where most people begin their Mt Everest or Ama Dablam Base Camp treks.

Costs for the trip

The price of the trek itself is $2080 USD but we were asked to put down a $500 USD deposit out of that total price to book our place.

The rest could be paid in cash when we got there. I had the remaining exchanged into US dollars so I could hand it over as soon as I got there.

My flights cost me $1087 to Kathmandu return from Adelaide flying with Cathay Pacific.

I had to renew my passport so that was another expense.

We were told to have the right cash in US dollars for our visa which was a 30-day visa costing $40 USD. We just went over the 15-day visa option as we had a couple more days either side of the trek in Kathmandu, otherwise, a 15-day visa costs $25 USD.

The rest of my trip expenses went on tipping my guides and porters (our tour company suggested $8-9 USD per person per day but more or less is up to you) and spending money. Everything over there is a lot cheaper than in Australia. If you allowed as much as you would for any other holiday, then you should have enough spending money.

The good thing about using a tour company is that the costs include almost everything.

Our porters

We had a 10kg limit for stuff we didn’t want to carry with us during the day but wanted on the trek that the porters carried for us. I packed super light as I didn’t want to load my porter up with much. All I used for the trip was my day pack, so I just gave my porter a small packing cell of my clothes to carry.

Some of the other women went over their 10kg limit, so they ended up putting some things in my bag. All the weight got shared around so it ended up working out well.

As we used porters, it meant we didn’t have to carry much gear. 

Gear to bring

There’s a video I made on my YouTube channel of everything I took on the trip and how I packed my pack if you want to check that out.

The following is the list we were given to use as a guide:

Hiking boots – preferably worn in but with good grip.

Lighter weight shoes or Hiking socks – 4 thick, 3 lighter weight pairs

4 or 5 Lightweight trekking shirts or t-shirts. During a trek day you will get hot so it’s good to carry a spare in your daypack.

1 heavier weight top – sloppy joe or heavier jumper

2 to 3 shorts or trekking trousers

Underwear – 5 pairs comfortable – cotton/polyester – just be careful to avoid friction (chafing)

Toiletries – usual essentials (include some soap) but it’s also good to bring wet wipes as they’re very useful

Our tour company provided a down sleeping bag, a down jacket, and toilet paper in a kit bag, along with the rest of your gear that the porters carry.

Spring is a great time to visit, as the weather is good and it’s not as busy.

What’s the best time of the year to go?

There are two main trekking seasons in Nepal: Spring and Autumn. Their Autumn (September to November) is the most popular trekking season as mountain views are at their best, however it is incredibly busy!

If you’re not a huge fan of snow then I’d recommend going when we went, which was late April – early May. That’s their Spring and it’s beautiful there. On our trek, we saw so many gorgeous rhododendrons (their national flower) in full bloom. It was stunning!

We went in spring, so we experienced the beautiful rhododendrons in bloom. 

Let’s talk about food

It was recommended to bring any snacks we might want during the day and carry them in our day packs, however, we were fed so well that none of us really ate our snack food at all!

The snack food that I took with me consisted of mixed nuts, beef jerky, dark chocolate, lollies and Clif gel shots, which I did actually have before a couple of the big climbs to give me more energy.

We had breakfasts of pretty much whatever we wanted, whether it be toast, cereal, eggs, pancakes etc. Then we had a cooked lunch, dinner and dessert every day! We ate so much food!

The menu consisted mainly of soups, egg meals such as omelettes, pasta, and traditional dhal bhat and momos. My favourite momos were the cheese and potato. Delicious!

We took our own snacks, but we didn’t even need it as we were fed so well.

Accommodation

The Ama Dablam Base Camp Trek is an 11-day lodge-based trek so we stayed in lodges and tea houses.

The rooms were always twin share with about half of them having a bathroom as well. Most of the showers were free. There was only one place that charged us for a shower but as we each got a big dish of hot water in the morning we didn’t really need to pay for a shower.

The beds were always made up with a sheet and pillow and usually had a thick blanket or quilt folded up on the end. We were provided with sleeping bags and took our own sleeping bag liners but sometimes we needed the blanket or quilt on us as well.

The view from my lodge on the first day of my trip. 

I didn’t want to go home!

If you’re thinking about heading over to Nepal for a trek, I strongly recommend you consider the Ama Dablam Base Camp Trek with Keep Walking Nepal.

For a whole video series on my adventure, head to my YouTube channel, where I break each day into a short video of the trip.

If you leave during April, you’ll see their beautiful flowers out in bloom everywhere and it’s not too cold. I hate the cold and even though it snowed on us one day, I still enjoyed it.

After wanting to make a visit to Nepal for some time, I would say that Ama Dablam Base Camp trek was definitely worth the journey.

Happy escapades!

  Out of all the spectacular treks that Nepal is known for, which one is your favourite?

The post Guide to Ama Dablam Base Camp Trek in Nepal appeared first on Snowys Blog.

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