#and then i got so in the zone that i completely forgot about tis online diary or whatever the fuck this is

[pumpkinsandsuckers]

I think we should get together now

Catradora, BG Scorfuma.

Summary: Karaoke AU. The only thing is that Catra and Adora never met, and there was no war.  Scorpia and Perfuma host a (couples) karaoke night. Catra gets jealous. Between singing a song or be subject to a penalty? Fine, she’ll sing a stupid song.

AN: This has been heavily inspired by @ CambieArt 's tweet about which songs Adora and Catra would sing to each other during a Karaoke session. She makes good art too, so feel free to check her out! 

I also died from embarrassment writing this.

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The blinking of the traffic lights, the smoky, dusty street lights were something Catra was used to. The thudding of bass from bars blasting music, the edgier, grittier music she had grown up with.

But not now. She had been dragged into the heart of the city of Etheria. The fluorescent glare of neon pink and yellow dazzled her, and she scowled. Everything was so… poppy here. Even the bars! It was, as Lonnie would have called it, a “bastardized fusion of jazz and pop”. Catra was beginning to regret joining Scorpia.

But that was what friends were for. If Scorpia needed a wingwoman for her date, Catra would gladly accompany her. A bright blue hologram flashed up, an advertisement for some fizzy beverage from Dryl. Catra weaved past the diverse crowd, grumbling under her breath as she followed her communications pad. Scorpia had dropped her the venue address, but this district - well, everything nearing Bright Moon City was just so confusing.

The roads in the Fright Zone, and even Dryl, were crooked and winding, but so much easier to distinguish from each other. The layout in Bright Moon though, was repetitive, grids and grids of identical buildings and crossings.

Catra growled as she passed by a familiar statue of what looked like a tall, muscular athlete in a tight costume. She had a ponytail flowing behind her, frozen in this marvellous pose.  ‘Mara, Our Hero’ it read.

“Not again.” Catra sighed. It was the city probably. Navigational systems functioned poorly in areas of congestion. It was a bloody miracle how she made her way here.

‘I’m at the Mara statue. How! Do! I! Reach! The! Enchanted! Grotto?!!!?!’ She typed out a message to Scorpia, hissing when a beep alerted her of Scorpia’s rapid response. How did she even type with her claws?

‘ Whih? ’

Frustrated, Catra swept her hair back and sighed, looking around.

‘ w, there arr 10 Mara statuesd ’

‘You have got to be kidding me!!!’

‘ Whoopd, 20 Maras tautes ’

Catra clenched her fists and took a deep breath, finding a safe space to calm down. 20 statues around Bright Moon City?! If they were supposed to be landmarks, they had failed. If she had been winding around a single Mara statue, it would have been fine. But 20!? She could have been walking around the entire city and not realise it.

She switched to the navigational app. Curses. Her icon flickered and jumped from location to location, eventually settling in a blue blob marked as a lake. Her eyebrow twitched. She was this close to flinging her pad at the floor.

“Scorpia can handle it.” She grunted, as she looked around cluelessly, trying to find a sign, anything that could guide her to the Enchanted Grotto. She had never been to Bright Moon much. Seen it on her screens, yes. Seen more of it on Entrapta’s screens, yes. But Bright Moon was unfamiliar territory. She definitely wasn’t scared. Nope, just uncomfortable with how bright and loud everything was. Okay, she had to do this. It was simple.

Catra took a deep breath, patted her shirt and pants, and approached the first stranger she saw. A young girl with a bright pink shirt with ‘Kawaii AF’ smacked across, in even horribly brighter pink. She wore a skirt and black leggings, and had her hair tied in two buns.

“Hey! Where’s the Enchanted Grotto?” She asked, realising how small this creature was.

The creature blinked at her once, twice, then grinned. Catra thought she saw a creepily long tongue slither out. Probably not.

“I know where it is! I can lead you there!” She beamed, and Catra raised an eyebrow. Suspiciously bubbly. Eh, any help was appreciated.

“Heh. Great. Where to?” She followed the stranger from a distance, looking around for any other paths. She wasn’t going to be blindly led into an alleyway for a mugging. And even if she did, she would hold her ground. It would be a great tale to tell when she finally arrived at her destination.

“Uh, hell no.” A stern voice cut through them, and a hand extended, separating Catra from the small pink creature. “Double Trouble, cut this out.” It was a girl, and her body followed her arm, becoming a barricade between Catra and … Double Trouble?

“Aww, but I was having so much fun!” Double Trouble winked at Catra. “Maybe I’ll see you again, Kitten.” They slinked off, pink visage blending with the crowd.

“Whew, that was a close one.”

“What?!” Catra frowned, as the female in front of her turned around. She had blonde hair tied up in a ponytail. A white long sleeved shirt was partially covered by a half-sleeve red jacket. Grey pants accentuating muscular legs followed down, and Catra realised she was checking out a complete stranger. She brought her eyes back up, hoping she had not been caught.

“Yeah, Double Trouble doesn’t mean harm, they just like dragging people around Bright Moon like a tour guide. You’re looking for the Enchanted Grotto? I can take you there.”

“I could have handled that myself!” Catra spat out, furious. The adorable snort mixed with laughter from the girl killed her anger instantly.

“Of course you could. I’m Adora. I can bring you there.”

‘Oh. OH.’ Catra smacked herself. Adora. Relative of Mara. The Adora. The same Adora she had been stalking online. Seeing her in real life… was really different. A good different. Without filters and angled shots, Adora looked… real.

“Catra.” Catra stuttered out, and froze when Adora grabbed her wrist.

“I’m headed there too, what a coincidence.” Adora grinned, a real, sincere grin, not what Double Trouble had presented. “So, Catra, what brings you to the Enchanted Grotto? It’s a very niche place.”

Catra tried to focus on walking. ‘Left foot. Right foot. Adora is holding my wrist, fuck, fuck fuCK! Left foot? Or was it right?’

“Catra?” Adora turned around to check on her companion once they reached a crosswalk.

“Hnh, yeah.” Catra’s brain struggled to think of something, grasping at anything she could use to hide the fact that she totally did not hear what Adora was saying. Her eyes landed on yet another familiar sight.

“Hey Adora,” Catra squirmed internally as she almost purred out Adora’s name. That was not supposed to happen! “Why are there so many statues of Mara, they got me lost.”

Adora laughed, and used her free hand to point to where Catra had laid her eyes on. “That’s the Mara statue of Hope. I met you near the statue of heroism. There’s an inscription reading ‘Mara, Our Hero’. Each Mara statue has a similar inscription, except the statue of friendship. It reads ‘Friend Of Mara’. Mara actually looks towards different directions. It’s supposed to guide us around.”

“Well, it clearly didn’t work.” Catra muttered, and wished her fur wasn’t so sweaty. She swore Adora’s hand slid down for a moment.

“Oh, green light, we gotta go.”

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Catra’s communication pad had been silenced, but was vibrating furiously near her rear pocket. It had caught Adora’s attention as they walked from the bustling streets to a quieter pathway.

“Hey, your… butt is vibrating?” Adora cocked an eyebrow at Catra.

“It’s called a communication pad, genius.” Catra rebutted, and whipped the small device (modified courtesy of Entrapta) out, detaching her wrist from Adora’s grip. A regrettable decision.

“What?!” She answered, crankier than usual. Adora kept an eye on her, switching between several awkward poses to rest her now very empty hands.

“ Catra, where are you? Perfuma is going to show up anytime soon! ” Catra noticed Adora’s hands shifting from her hips to being folded, her biceps and triceps flexing with that change.

“Then let her! I’m on my way!” Catra hissed as Adora’s hands drifted back down, her fingers tucking into the belt around her pants.

“ But the surprise will be ruined! ”

“Surprise?” Catra frowned. “Scorpia, what do you me-”

“ Oops, I didn’t say anything! See you, Wildcat! ”

As much as that nickname brought a smile to Catra’s face, she rolled her eyes at Scorpia’s panic. A surprise, huh? She forgot all about it when Adora’s fingers wrapped around her wrist again.

“We’re almost there.” Adora stated as Catra slipped the block back into her pocket. “I’m really curious though.” Catra felt Adora’s eyes on her entire body. “I had no idea… Well, here’s the Enchanted Grotto.”

Adora waved at a group of people outside what seemed like a rundown, dead shop. The windows were pitch dark, but as they neared the building, she could make out some sort of weird singing and music blasting from speakers. Heh, the perks of having heightened senses.

“Hey guys!”

“Adora!” the group, consisting of three individuals waved back.

“I see you made a new friend.” The tallest of the trio, a boy with dark hair, a clean undercut, and a tight muscle shirt waggled his eyebrows. “I’m Bow, nice to meet you!”

Behind him was a shorter female, her hair dyed(?) a shade between pink and purple, seemingly glittering as the sole lamppost hovered above her. Clad in a loose, sleeveless outfit, she was engaged in a whispered conversation with another female.

“Perfuma!” Adora waved, trying to get her attention. “Meet Catra!”

“Catra?” Bow’s head could have snapped with that speed, switching between Catra and Adora abruptly. “Catra?”

“Yep, that’s my name.” Catra crossed her arms. “Got a problem with it?”

“No! Not at all!” Bow shook his head, hands in front of him in a defensive stance. Catra immediately pegged him down as a softie. Just like Scorpia.

“Bow!” Adora nudged her friend, and he shrugged. “Catra, these are my friends. Glimmer.”

The one with sparkling hair gave a curt wave..

Catra smirked. What an appropriate name. “Nice to meet you, Sparkles.”

“It’s Glimmer.” she corrected, and Adora released Catra’s wrist. Again. “This is-”

“Perfuma.” Catra and Perfuma said in unison, and relaxed their tense postures.

“Yes, you’re acquainted.” Adora mumbled, and Glimmer wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her into the establishment.

“It is nice to see you again, Catra. I hope you will enjoy this evening.” Perfuma smiled, and Catra gave a generic response absent mindedly, eyes fixed on Adora and Glimmer.

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Inside the Enchanted Grotto, things were very different. They had stepped past a screen of magic properties, which had blocked out most of the noise coming from within.

The whole group seemed familiar with the place, waving to the staff and strolling in with a sense of confidence. Except Catra. She didn’t hate it, surprisingly. The decor was pleasant. The whole floor was dimly lit, save a few brighter bulbs along a separate corridor. There was a main stage, and a few tables scattered before it.

Instrumental music was blasting, and a man was belting out a cheesy love song on stage. He was practically wailing the high notes into the microphone, and Catra winced as she shuffled along to the brighter bulbs.

Bow was behind all of them, herding them towards a private room. The bulbs in the corridor led to a quieter, secluded lobby, different coloured lights hanging before different doors.

“The Red Garnet.” Perfuma squealed, and pranced towards the red light.

“You know, not everyone approves of this place. Some even disapprove of it.” Bow whispered to Catra, and she shot him a questioning look.

“The folk here are what some consider to be… different.” Bow explained.

Catra thought about Scorpia and Perfuma. Or Adora and Glimmer. Could it be? They were about to enter the room, and she wanted to get an answer from Bow.

“Is it because Bright Moon doesn’t support G-”

“Group Karaoke! You’re absolutely right!” Bow clapped Catra on the back, and she nearly fell over.

“Group Karaoke?” There was no time to process her thoughts and Bow’s statement, as she tripped straight into the private room.

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Of course, she regained her balance, turning an unsightly fall into a proper entrance. As proper as a very wide stride could get. Her eyes, luckily, adjusted to the lighting quickly, and she spotted Scorpia in the corner, Perfuma already by her side.

“Oh hey, Wildcat.” Scorpia had that look. THAT LOOK! Catra was familiar with it. Everytime Scorpia had something up her sleeve (an ironic phrase, as Scorpia wore sleeveless clothing exclusively), she had that look of guilt. She couldn’t hide it, and it was a telling sign.

“Scorpia!” Catra lunged forward, squeezing Scorpia towards Perfuma, and lodging herself in the corner. The couch rounded into a three-quarter, with Adora and Glimmer sitting on the other end. Bow found his spot between Perfuma and Glimmer, looking at everyone excitedly.

“You knew about this, didn’t you. I really overshare sometimes!” Catra hissed into Scorpia’s ear, and Scorpia laughed nervously.

“They’re friends of Perfuma!” Scorpia protested, as Catra narrowed her eyes.

“ She ’s a friend of Perfuma. And you didn’t tell me!” Catra gritted her teeth. “And they didn’t post pictures online?”

“They did! You just don’t follow Perfuma.” Scorpia pouted, and Catra gave up.

“Fine, my bad. Say, you never told me what’s going on.”

“Oh.” Scorpia looked genuinely surprised. “Oh.”

“GROUP KARAOKE!” Bow yelled, opening the wooden box in front of them, revealing 2 wireless microphones.”

“I thought he was joking!” Catra groaned, and buried her face into her hands.

“There, there.” Scorpia patted her with her heavy claws, and Catra choked.

“Alright, you know the drill, guys. Everyone has to sing a song.”

Perfuma cheered, and Bow continued, “No singing, and you get a penalty issued by all members present.”

“This is horrible.” Catra moaned.

“As we all know, we have two new participants joining us today! Perfuma’s girlfriend, the lovely powerhouse Scorpia!”

Scorpia waved as Perfuma leaned into her.

“And Scorpia’s friend, and also, Adora’s new friend, Catra! She appears in Scorpia’s feed so much!”

Bow was dragged down by both Glimmer and Adora, unintelligible muffles unable to be deciphered. Catra looked at Scorpia, who evaded her gaze, crossing over to sit between Perfuma and Bow instead.

“Wow, look at that, I’m going to sing first!” She reached for the microphone, aided by Perfuma. The rest cheered her on.

Catra sank back into the couch, training her gaze on Adora and Glimmer. Were they…?

Adora was leaning against Glimmer, who was patting her hand. The same hand that held Catra’s wrist.

“Ew! Adora, your hand’s all sweaty.” Glimmer complained, and Adora blushed.

“Sickening.” Catra muttered, her eyes refusing to leave them. Her ears however, had shifted to appreciate Scorpia’s amazing singing. Damn, she knew her friend could sing, but ever since she moved to Plumeria, she had not had a chance to hear her strong vocals. Scorpia was a completely different person in her element, full of raw confidence, charm, and even some cockiness as she winked in the middle of her song. Perfuma swooned and even Catra could see why Scorpia had won her over.

Bow was next, belting out a song about friendship, with Glimmer joining in. Catra however, was still focused on Adora.

The same Adora who held her hand and made her heart skip a bit, made her feel giddy. The same Adora who snorted in such a cute manner. The same Adora whom she had stalked online, with so much determination Scorpia had suggested Catra make a move. Catra had refused, of course, instead scrolling her feed of Adora’s pictures. The professional athlete, relative of Mara (effectively making her a princess of Etheria), was actually in the same room as her.

AND FLIRTING WITH GLIMMER, APPARENTLY! Catra growled at the last thought, causing Perfuma to look at her with alarm.

Bow ended his song with a deep bow, passing the microphone to Adora.

“Uh, not now.” Adora looked at Perfuma desperately.

“We all know I like to end Karaoke sessions with heavy metal.” Perfuma took the other microphone. “I think we should let Catra sing.” she smiled at the astonished girl.

“Absolutely not!” Catra pushed the microphone away.

“Penalty! Penalty!” Bow chanted, and Scorpia joined in.

“Catra’s penalty should be to go out on a date with someone we choose.” Perfuma clapped her hands together, and Catra balked at the suggestion.

“Penalty! Penalty!” Bow resumed, and Catra felt betrayed by Adora’s addition to the cheer.

“Fine, fine!” She snatched the microphone, and the controls. “I’ll sing a stupid song!”

Scorpia actually lifted Catra with her claw, shifting her to the middle of the couch.

“Urgh! Why are all the songs so old?!” Catra grimaced.

“That’s what’s so great about the Enchanted Grotto!” Bow gave her a thumbs up.

From the corner of her eye, Catra caught Glimmer whispering into Adora’s ear, and they both giggled, Adora snorting again. Alright, that was the last straw. A familiar song was an easy choice, although Catra barely remembered the lyrics. She only remembered her preteen self being fuelled with a sense of rebellious courage and the melody of the song.

“Oooh, bold choice.” Scorpia pushed Catra up, and she responded with an angry yowl. “Go get her, Wildcat! I mean, er, go get ‘em, Wildcat!”

The mini stage had a mic stand, which Catra ignored. A display in front of her lit up, the lyrics appearing with a countdown. Ah yes, those familiar words. Just like how she remembered.

As the background music started, Catra smirked, her usual confidence returning in a snap.

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I don't like your girlfriend

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I could be your girlfriend

She saw Glimmer’s eyes widen, and Bow’s jaw drop. Heh. The lyrics were… more embarrassing than she remembered, but what the hell, she was already going with it. Perfuma and Scorpia actually joined in the background

Hey! Hey! You! You!

Catra smirked, looking directly at Adora

I know that you like me

Oh shit, she was mouthing the lyrics and staring at Catra

No way! No way!

You know it's not a secret

Catra turned back to the mini screen, glancing at the lyrics.

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I want to be your girlfriend

Oh god, what was her preteen self doing? Not looking at the lyrics, for sure.

You're so fine, I want you mine, You're so delicious

Not a lie.

I think about you all the time, You're so addictive

Don't you know what I can do to make you feel all right?

Her mind worked quickly as she changed the lyrics

Don't pretend, I think you know I'm damn precious

And hell yeah, you’re my mother fucking princess

Catra enjoyed how Adora’s blank stare evolved to a blush. Hell yeah!

I can tell you like me too, and you know I'm right

Glimmer let out a “whoo!”, fist pumping along to the beat. Heh, maybe it was her preteen anthem as well.

She's like, so whatever

You can do so much better

As the hook rounded to the chorus, everyone was cheering now. Except Adora. And of course, the adrenaline and defiance egged her on, as she took a step off the stage and towards Adora, practically stalking around her with the aura of a predator.

I think we should get together now

She looked at Adora with sultry eyes (Glimmer would describe it as bedroom eyes later), and Adora let out a strained gurgle. Catra pushed off, leaping back onto the elevated platform.

And that's what everyone's talking about

She repeated the chorus again, her preteen self roaring with pride. She licked her lips, deciding to strike again.

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me

And even when you look away, I know you think of me

I know you talk about me all the time again and again

She pointed at Adora, curling her finger towards her.

So come over here and tell me what I wanna hear

Adora actually nodded dumbly, almost rising from her seat.

Or better, yet, make your girlfriend disappear

I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again

Her steely glare at Glimmer was met with a bewildered look and a high pitched “I’m not?!”

Catra rolled her eyes, grinning triumphantly at that realisation. The next verse meant nothing, but she was way too pumped up.

Because

She's like so whatever

You can do so much better

I think we should get together now

And that's what everyone's talking about

She entered the chorus again, Bow joining Scorpia and Perfuma in yelling the alternate chorus verses.

Uh!

Adora wiped at her mouth at that sound as Catra started the bridge.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger

'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better

Catra was now brimming with an absurd assertiveness, bending over the stage to meet Adora’s eyes.

There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in

She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

Adora looked away quickly, her head turned but her eyes still darting back to the stage.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger

Adora yelped as her chin was grabbed suddenly, pulled back to look at Catra who was right in front of her.

'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better

There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in

She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

Glimmer joined in the chorus now, sliding beside Bow. Their fingers intertwined, raised as they sang the background vocals.

The chorus seemed to repeat itself forever, and Catra could do nothing but lean in real close to Adora while singing. As she approached the last verse of the chorus, she switched off the mic, leaving the ensemble chanting.

I want to be your girlfriend

She softly finished the song, her breath tickling Adora’s now bright red ear.

Hey Hey!

The rest finished, and the music died, slamming them back into reality.

Catra was now panting from her performance, and strangely, Adora was as well.

“Pee break?” Bow jumped up and nearly ran into the door trying to get out.

“Uh, right. Pee breaks. Be back in five.” Glimmer hugged Perfuma and Scorpia, and teleported out in a shimmer.

“Uh. Huh. Mmm.” Adora babbled, looking at Catra’s face.

“Oh my god, I’m an idiot.” Catra pushed off the couch, releasing Adora from that pin. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh no!” Adora stood up, grabbing onto Catra’s wrist again. “Don’t be?”

Catra realised it wasn’t her wrist and fur being sweaty all along.

“So, er, yeah.” Adora covered the bottom half of her face, doing little to hide her blush. Not that it was obvious with the lighting.

“Huh?”

“You want to be my girlfriend?”

“Oh hell yeah.”

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Epilogue:

“I’ve actually been following you on some pages with my personal account.” Catra admitted.

“What? I’ve been trying to find it since forever!” Adora pouted, ruffling Catra’s short hair. “Catra! What’s your account name?”

Catra paused, giving into Adora’s pets and scratches near her jawline.

“Tell me~”

“Only if you kiss me.” Catra grumbled and Adora gave her a short, swift peck.

“That totally didn’t count.” Catra huffed, and Adora placed both hands on Catra’s cheeks. “Tongue and we’ll talk.”

“Is it AdoraFan01? Or WatermelonCrusher? Or TinyBaby4Adora?”

“Hey!” Catra yelled before Adora pressed their lips together, tongue sliding in with Catra’s gasp. Catra gave in completely, Adora licking her lips in victory when they parted.

“Fine.” Catra passed her her pad.

“You can’t be serious.”

Catra rolled her eyes and groaned.

“Yes, I’m ApplesauceMeowMeow”

[florafaunaandeldritchhorrors]

instead of a chapter this week, here’s my writeup of how the first session of DIE went with my group. (sorry) (hopefully this is as entertaining)

In 2007, Tomb of the Worm King, a high fantasy-in-space mmorpg, launched. Three months later, it closed before the Worm King raid was even released. During the beta, the developers grouped testers together into artificial guilds... and after the game fell apart, our group of testers tried to homebrew a trpg system in order to keep playing. Needless to say, it didn’t go well. 

It’s 2027 now. 

Below the cut: everything my players are not allowed to read. Starting with the DM prep I did, if you’re planning a game and just want to read that.

Prep:

It wasn’t feasible for me to bring my laptop to the space where we play, so I had to try to write down everything that I wanted to remember for the session that wasn’t already on the cheat sheets. 

Things I ended up needing that I prepped: short versions of who to give the archetypes to, the long list of monster special abilities to create a custom fallen on the fly, rules for the Dictator targeting multiple people, melee/close/medium/far range rules.

Things I prepped and didn’t need this time, but probably will: God Debt rules, other ways to bring a Fallen back (taking memories sounds rad).

Things I forgot and wished I had written down: That the Neo’s systems coming online is supposed to be dramatic and have visual effects, that the book recommends offering a major miracle in the first encounter.

For Fair Gold, I tried to clean some pennies but ended up tarnishing them. Luckily, the person who’s condo complex we play at had some gold spray paint and we did that after the first session. For cheat tokens, I’m using popsicle sticks marked on one side, because the world’s oldest board game used them instead of dice, and Kieron says he like using weird dice but it gets confusing. 

Oh, and we ended up making folded name thingies for our personas, like we were still in middle school. That was a good idea.

The Cast:

Franz Gibson, a volunteer firefighter who quit his job as an accountant after he found out his wife was cheating on him with his boss. Has twin 7-year old boys who he misses terribly, and only weekend visitation. Was 17 in 2007. Playing Whylock the Enlightened, a Godbinder. Core desire: feels out of place in real life, more out of place in the game.

Sophia Twist, a Dickensian orphan who was 12 in 2007 but pretended to be 17. Inspired by Tomb of the Worm King, went to school to become a computer scientist, but decided not to go into game dev and became a cyber security expert. Playing Intel, a Neo. Core desire: I’m guessing her parents.

AJ Bryant, a culture reporter by day and youtuber by... afternoon? Started as a Let’s Play channel, but came out as a trans man and started transitioning a few years into it, and ended up doing a lot of leftist reactions to current events. Was 16 in 2007. Broke up with his boyfriend of over 4 years just under a year ago, and spent six months completely out of it. Playing Jett, a Dictator. Core desire: wants the privacy he was denied when he became a minor internet celebrity young.

Thomas Bryant, an accountant who hates being called Tommy. Was 14 in 2007, which made him the group baby. Worked at Walmart for a long time, but eventually went back to school to get his current job. Has been on and off with his boyfriend Michael for four years, and was planning to break up again, except Michael’s mom just died. Ouch. Playing Genevieve, an Amazement Knight. Core desire: not sure, but maybe boredom? Boredom got him to go back to school, and he is playing a knight of surprise.

Tripp Declan, a skeezy used car salesman and former frat boy. Was 17 in 2007. The less said about his attitude towards women the better, but his core drive is a fear of getting older. Playing Flip, the magnificent Fool.

Elena Forbes, who in 2007 was 21 and secretly a developer monitoring the group’s dynamics. After Tomb of the Worm King shut down, revealed her true identity to the group. Recently laid off just before a game shipped, so her name won’t be in the credits, so she can’t claim the game on her resume. Many years ago, warned Sophia not to go into game dev. Artistically frustrated. The Master, of course. 

Yes, I named my persona by mashing up two characters from The Vampire Diaries, knowing no one else at the table had ever watched it. 

(setting it in 2027 turned out to be a mistake, because whenever I prod people for popular culture they get vague because we don’t know what people in 2027 will be watching/reading/playing. but also, most of our players were 10 years old in 2007, and pushing back our teenage years back too far would be weird. and I wanted that where-did-my-life-go feeling from the comic.)

The Session:

During persona generation, I make sure to say Elena lives in a place with a space like the room we were playing in. I also take the hit as the person who falls prey to the Geek Social Fallacies enough not to kick Tripp out for being a creep. There’s an interesting divide between the players who work out their personas aloud and the ones who want to have a nearly-finished product before they say anything.

During character creation, when Tripp reads the beginning of the Fool’s character sheet aloud everyone groans at “their friends have to deal with the consequences”. This will probably happen with a lot of groups, if you give the Fool to the obvious candidate.

We ordered food in between persona generation and character creation, but we actually ate it in between character creation and getting sucked into the game world. This worked out great because doing character creation entirely in character was a bit much for me, so we ended up eating dinner as our personas instead. Turns out Franz has the same nut allergy as his player, but his sons love peanut butter. A modern tragedy.

After being sucked into the fantasy world, Elena transforms into Vesuvia, High Priestess of the Worm King and recognizable NPC from the old game. I don’t highlight that she transforms after grabbing her die hard enough, and have to make the other dice glow in order to prompt my players. Thomas tries to grab Tripp’s die when they’re the only two left, and I almost want to let it happen, but then I imagine running  Tripp as an Amazement Knight and... nope. 

Before the fighting starts, Thomas’s sword tells him to look at the door opposite the one the Fallen use to enter, ensuring that he’s surprised. I don’t give him a disadvantage on initiative, but when he ties with someone, I make him go second.

The first encounter reskins the Fallen as the Xenomorph ripoffs from Tomb of the Worm King’s starting zone, except they’re cybernetic in a way they weren’t before. After the first round of combat, a knockoff Xenomorph queen appears—the final boss of the only raid that the game launched with. Elena’s sent it as part of the first encounter to demonstrate that she’s done with old content. It’s time to get to newer things.

The Neo hasn’t read her character sheet completely and is very surprised when I tell her she has a slot in the back of her neck. Her AI System is more fun to act as than the Knight’s “aggressive” sword. The Lady of Ashes—the Godbinder’s fire god—is more fun than either. (Luckily he only casts fire spells this session, so I get some time to think about his other two gods: Brightbearer and the Master of Windows.)

After they defeat the Fallen, Thomas opens the door his sword pointed out to him earlier revealing... the Academy, part of the game’s starting zone. End of session. We go spray paint some coins.

Plans:

Give Sophia a chance to save her parents. Give Franz a chance to one-up James. Tempt Tripp with beautiful women. Unsettle AJ with the fact that as a Dictator, he doesn’t have any more privacy here than in the real world. 

Tomb of the Worm King didn’t give the players spaceships, just teleportation pads for jumping between planets. Give players a choice between hopping between pads to get to the final encounter or going overland to find and defeat those guarding the pad that brings them straight there. They’ll encounter similar encounters, but with different texture.

During the final encounter, Elena reveals that Vesuvia was always supposed to defect and help the players defeat the Worm King. All they need to do is agree to stay, and they can finish the raid, and then keep playing. Keep playing forever. Oh, and she’s not going to agree to leave.

[isa-ly]

THE ELEPHANT’S STAKE

TW: mental health, therapy, repression

Did you know that my go-to party trick is drawing an elephant with just one line? I know, pretty lame. Now you know why I never go to parties.

Okay, so, what’s with the random elephant theme, you may ask? Well, funny you should mention it. (I say, as if we were having and actual conversation and it wasn’t just me pretending to talk to someone in order to feel less awkward. The irony here is that writing this blog is supposed to help me to do exactly that. I never said my brain’s logic made any sense.)

Anyway, I asked myself that exact question too a few months ago, when my lovely therapist Kerstin asked me whether or not she could read me a story about an elephant. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love animals and those big-boned, long-tusked, gentle-calm giants definitely have a soft spot in my heart. However, I never really expected them to come up in a conversation with a trained psychotherapist. But hey, what the fuck do I know about cognitive behavioural therapy. Not enough to be aware that it includes elephants, apparently.

Since I didn’t want to be rude and was actually kind of intrigued, I asked my therapist to yes, please, read me the story about the elephant. I actually found the story online (pft, Kerstin, where’s your originality), so I shall copy and paste it here for you to read it too, in case you want to:

“When I was small, I used to love circuses, and what I liked best about them were the animals. The elephant in particular caught my attention, and as I later found out, other children liked the elephant too. During the performance, this enormous beast would nobly display its tremendous weight, size, and strength. But after its performance, and until just before it went out on stage, the elephant was always tied down with a chain to a little stake in the ground that held one of its feet. The stake however was just a minuscule piece of wood, hardly a couple of centimeters long. And although it was a strong thick chain, it seemed obvious to me that an animal capable of tearing a tree from its roots, could easily free itself from that stake and flee. This mystery continued to puzzle me. What held it there? Why didn't it escape? 

When I was 5 or 6, I still trusted the explanations given by grownups. So, I asked my teacher, my father, and my uncle about the mystery of the elephant. One of them explained that the elephant didn't escape because it had been mastered. So, I asked the obvious question: “If it's been mastered, why do they keep it in chains?”

I don't remember having received a coherent answer. With time, I forgot about the mystery of the elephant, I only remembered when I found others who had asked themselves the same question at some time. Years later, I discovered that, to my luck, someone had been sufficiently wise to come up with the answer.

The circus elephant does not escape because it has been attached to a stake just like this one since it was very, very small. I closed my eyes and imagined a defenseless baby elephant fastened to the stake. I am sure that in that moment, the little guy pushed and pulled and tired himself out trying to get himself free. And, regardless of his efforts, he couldn't do it, because the stake was too strong for him. I imagined him tuckering himself out and falling asleep and the next day trying again, and the next day, and the next. Until one day, a terrible day in his history, the animal accepted its futility and resigned itself to its fate.

That enormous powerful elephant that you see in the circus does not escape because, unfortunate thing, he thinks he can't. He has that memory etched into his mind: the futility that he felt shortly after he was born. And the worst part is that he has never returned to seriously question that memory. Never again did he return to test his own strength.

The first thing I said to my therapist after she had read me the story and was waiting for my reaction was: “Am I the elephant?” To no one’s surprise, she had nodded and then asked me how I had gotten to that conclusion. And well, that’s what I want to talk about today.

It’s a little hard for me to find a beginning to this, so I’ll just start with what came to my head first: My childhood. Oof, what a bummer. A few minutes into her second post and she’s ready to whack out the big guns. Okay, back to being serious. Somewhat.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a lovely childhood. Really, I was an only child, born to two very lovely parents who really cared for and loved me, and I have tons of wonderful memories of growing up. Oh, what’s that? Can you hear it? Sounds like a big “BUT...” that’s about to smash through the glass wall of my positive nostalgia. Look, let’s just say it as it is: While my time as a kid and teenager were truly lovely, fun and filled with good people and better friends, there were undeniable issues and traumas in it as well, and it would be simply wrong not to acknowledge those.

And one of those not-so-great things was that growing up, there were a lot of ‘can’t do’s’ in my life. Especially when it came to emotions. I’m not gonna give you the full rundown of every single issue in the relationship with my parents or my own self, but I’ll say this much: My feelings, especially ones of anger, sadness and hurt, were often brushed over, my arguments ignored and my attempts of standing my ground nipped in the bud. Discussions, fights and quarrels, especially with my mum, made one thing very clear: I had to stay as quiet and small as possible to avoid being yelled at even more. If I spoke up, even when I thought I was in the right, things would escalate and get even worse. Ergo, if I showed and displayed my real emotions and thoughts, I would suffer the consequences – which were never good.

So, I learned not to. I learned to stay quiet. To revert back into myself and zone out, go some place else in my mind and just wait for the storm to blow over. Instead of getting angry, I fell silent. Instead of getting sad, I went numb. As my therapist always says: Instead of feeling, I would simply not feel. Because at the time, it was what kept me safe. It was what kept me loved. And all a child wants is to be loved.

In many ways, this was my stake. This was what kept me standing in one spot. Whenever I tried to pull it out, I would fail, struggling and thrashing to escape, to make my emotions clear and feel them freely. Every time I tried, it would only leave me even more exhausted, would leave me feeling like a fool for thinking that maybe if I tried just one more time, pushed just a little harder, the stake would yield. But it never did. And at some point, I just gave up.

This all might sound very sad and tragic. I’m aware that I’m by far not the only teenager that fought a lot with their parents. And probably also not the only one who just kind of gave in after a while. However, I can’t deny the fact that this has shaped me in ways I am only now recognizing years later, while sitting in therapy and having elephant stories read to me because for some reason, for some fucking reason, I cannot access, feel or share my emotions.

For some fucking reason, I am chained to that stupid stake. 

My therapist read me the story because she knows that I’m aware what it’s about. It’s about me, as a kid and teen, trying to escape from the emotional boundaries that were set by my parents and eventually by myself, and failing time and time again. As I grew up and got older, those boundaries grew with me in my head. And yet in real life, they were nothing but a tiny stake of wood that, having grown a lot stronger, I could have completely overpowered and ripped out of the ground by now. But because they have been with me my entire life and because I hold all those memories of never being able to shake them, I never thought I could.

I always looked at them like the elephant looked at the stake. As something that couldn’t be moved, that couldn’t be changed.

“Until one day, a terrible day in his history, the animal accepted its futility and resigned itself to its fate.“

Hits different now, huh.

So, what’s the moral of that story and brief delve into my emotionally compromising childhood? Fuck the circus, I guess. 

In all seriousness though: I wanted to write this post because that therapy session actually helped me a lot and I find myself coming back to this story whenever I slip into the darker place of my mind. So, I wanted to put it on this blog as a reminder. A reminder to myself and anyone else who needs it, that even though it might seem virtually impossible to change something, be that your own thought patterns, behaviours or personality traits, it never is. 

You know that cheesy saying that change is the only constant in life? Well, as cheesy as it is, it’s true. And I think by realizing that, by hearing that silly story of the elephant in the circus, it opened up some new possibilities. One of those being that whenever something feels like it’s unyielding and not doable, maybe you just need to take a step back and look at it again. And maybe you’ll see that it’s actually just a small, wooden stake and you’re a whole ass elephant that could take down a tree, if it wanted to.

The exact opposite might be true too, and the stake might still be too big. And in that case, that’s perfectly okay too. Remember what I said one post ago about picking your battles according to your own strengths? Yeah, that’s still valid too. But it also doesn’t mean that you have to despair. Because there is always room for growth and the chance of becoming stronger. Emotionally, mentally, and in every other way.

I hope this doesn’t sound too much like a self-help book from some self-proclaimed lifestyle guru who’s also a part-time pickup artist and sells questionable detox teas on the side (not sure where I’m going with that one). Metaphors can sound super lame but in my case, they’ve always been helpful as my brain really loves translating lessons and conclusions into images. Essentially, I’m just the kid that was always into Arts And Crafts and I need to ~visualize~ everything in order to process it. I know, I annoy myself too.

But hey, my therapist made a good call by telling me this metaphorical story because it made me realize a thing or two about how I’ve set myself all of these boundaries I could just as easily (or should I say isa-ly, HAH) kick again if I tried. That stake I chained myself to might have provided a sense of safety all those years back when I was a child and teenager, being yelled at and not listened to by my parents. But it is no longer providing that security. If all, it’s holding me back in realizing all of my newly found strengths. 

So, maybe it’s about damn time I ripped it out of the ground and got the hell out of that circus.

[mystic-head-canons]

OMGGG PLS DO THE RFA + MINOR TRIO BEING VAGUELY FAMILIAR TO MC PLSS :DDDD (soz for caps tis 3 am and I'm hyPD)

Anon…. Anon I got this message at 2pm. What time zone are you in?!

Also, writing this was a challenge for Saeyoung, Saeran, and Vanderwood, as… well, if you’ve played Saeyoung’s route, you know why.

Sorry this is going up so far behind schedule, I’ve been sleeping for almost two days solid and I woke up and couldn’t find my computer. Turns out my roommate borrowed it and forgot to give it back. But here it is.

Yoosung

MC played LOLOL

I mean, she was nowhere near the level of SuperYoosung, the #2 of the shooting star server, but she’d gone toe to toe with a dragon alone once

On more than one occasion, MC got the change to fight SuperYoosung in game, and every time, even though her level was lower and she always lost, MC kept getting closer to beating him

When MC found out SuperYoosung was her Yoosung, she nearly flipped, having chatted with him on an open forum more than once

He’s super excited too, though he thought she was a guy because she didn’t have an open mic, and thus didn’t talk to people online

After a few months of either playing with Yoosung or watching him play, MC or MasterCoordinator finally manages to beat SuperYoosung in front of his entire guild

Jaehee

MC was a barista at a cafe Jaehee frequented for a while

Because Jaehee came in often and MC had a little bit of a crush, she knew Jaehee’s order by heart

MC also attempted to leave cute messages on the cups and draw cute images in the foam

However, Jaehee was usually so busy or stressed, she either didn’t notice, or  thought it was a cute cafe aesthetic

It wasn’t until Jaehee and MC were actually working together and MC made her a cup of coffee with an image drawn in the phone did Jaehee connect the two

MC revealed that one time, in a truly desperate attempt to get Jaehee’s attention, she wrote her number in the foam, but it was missed completely

Jaehee’s embarrassed she didn’t notice sooner, apologizes, and is happy things ultimately worked out

The main reason Jaehee kept going back to that cafe was because of the cute barista, that just so happened to be MC

Zen

Well, I mean, MC is a casual fan of his

But they take the same train

Now, Zen doesn’t ride the train all the time, but when he does, they usually end up on the same one

More than once she’s taken a sneak pic of him

So, in his route, MC was on the train home from work, in a chat, and Zen posted a selfie of himself in the train

A quickly scan located him, and he moment she was off the train, she posted it with a little comment

“Hope to ride with you again soon~ 😘”

Zen freaks in excitement

He all but interrogates her about her travel schedule, but MC gives him nothing

After he meets her in person, he recognizes her, grins from ear to ear, and say, “I knew you were my type!”

Jumin

Well, ironically, she was already a party planner for the rich and famous

They met in passing, a tense business smile here, and brief chats about the weather there, so on

And needless to say, his father had hit on her, but she turned him down in an instant, stating professionalism, but the truth was, she was creeped out

So when she was thrown into the midst of planning an RFA party, she practically had the whole party planned in an instant more out of habit than anything else

Jaehee host? Pfft, MC could do it! Not like it’s anything new!

One thing MC would remark on for years to come was Jumin’s face when he realized that she was the woman he was speaking to in the chats

While she “stayed” with him over the next few days, he was impressed with her work ethic and her ability to plan an entire party from flower arrangements to table settings to music and guests all from her phone

If anything, watching her keep a cool head when things went horribly wrong and one thing happened after another, it made Jumin fall more in love with her

He genuinely regrets not getting to know her sooner

Saeyoung

Well, it took them a little while to recognize each other, but MC put the pieces together eventually

It turned out they grew up in the same neighborhood, going to the same church

MC had seen him a lot in passing, but had only spoken to him once or twice

MC didn’t know much about him, not even his name, she just knew that things were bad at home, he had a twin brother, and if he wasn’t with his twin, he was alone

A few times, she came over and gave him things like food, candy, and the like, in the hopes of coaxing a smile out of him, but they never came

Saeyoung didn’t immediately recognize her because (1) she had short hair back then, and (2) MC had changed a lot with puberty

And while Saeyoung doesn’t like talking about his past or his childhood, he likes that he has someone who was there and understands who is here for him

V

MC worked at a gallery as a glorified secretary for the curator

V had sold his pictures at the gallery and they’d spoken casually a few times, but he never knew her

However, being the polite guy he is, V always remembered her name

When they met again, he wasn’t sure until he saw her picture, and he continued to be friendly and polite

MC was the first to ask why he hadn’t released any new works lately, as she was a fan

When they did meet again, face to face, she openly admitted to him that she’d always harbored a small crush for him

The blush on his face was super cute

Saeran

Did you think he did his pink tipped hair alone?

I don’t think so

… okay, after a while he did, but not at first!

No, at first, Saeran had to go to a hair stylist

MC was new to being a stylist, but she did his hair with impeccable care

he found that having her do his hair was incredibly soothing, even if the environment was not

Until Saeran could learn to do his hair by himself, he went to MC to get his hair dyed and touched up whenever his roots started to show

Because of this, he was able to watch her and get an idea of the kind of person she was (namely that was naive enough to fall for her coworkers tricks from time to time)

So when he needed to find a person to plant into the RFA, MC immediately came to mind

Vanderwood

MC had once worked with the agency as a independent consultant

She didn’t know any details of their operations

All she did was consult on several projects

She was also legally gagged and threatened

One of the projects she worked on was with Vanderwood directly, but not for any long duration of time

And honestly, he didn’t remember her until she remembered him

[dailrpwmf-blog]

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