#and then realising that's awkward for mxy so apologising

[pbaintthetb]

today on fics I will never write:

Mo Xuanyu DOES have a friend in Mo Village, he’s not alone, it’s just that this friend is the disembodied spirit of Jin Zixuan- who only he can see- so it really does nothing to curb the accusations of madness

it’s jokes though, they go a whole month before JZX like, realises they’re related.

[truly-morgan]

[Comfort in someone else, replacement]

ChengXanyu | Mo Dao Zu Shi Modern AU 21-07-2021

[Jiang Cheng x Mo Xuanyu, modern, angst] (someone save me, I don't know the ship name again) (implied past xiancheng and one-sided yaoyu)

What if growing up jc and wwx developed a relationship that they hide from everyone else? No one knew, but they were happy with each other. then wwx get himself in some trouble (as every modern AU does), but instead of disappearing or going to jail, wwx dies.

He dies the same day he and jc had an argument about his tie with the Wen, jc trying to tell him he can help him out if he would at least let him try.

They part on angry words and things neither of them wanted to say.

Jc is the first one to know when wn calls him to tell him wwx got shot. he runs to the location given to him by the young man, panicking, scared to lose him.

But it's too late when he gets to the small hospital, wwx is already dead & all jc can do after running past wq is grab wwx hands as if his own life depends on it, begging and crying for wwx to wake up, apologising for the hurtful thing he said hours ago.

he doesn't wake up After that there's a clear shift in jc's attitude, he might not have been a lively as wwx was, but it got to a point where even jfm is worried about him. They really do not understand how wwx death has affected him like this (but they didn't know how much he loved him either) years pass by as life forces him to move on even if he never really do, going to college without much motivation, mostly because he is forced by yzy.

Then one day he meets mxy.

for a split second, he was certain he had seen wwx, the young man looking really similar to him, he cannot stop himself from grabbing the youth's arm, clearly startling him. He mutters an apology when big startled eyes look back at him, ready to go to his apartment, not wanting to be seen as a creep or something like this.

Yet he is stopped by the young man who asks if he wants to grab coffee.

jc is a bit surprised by the suggestion, but he still accepts the offer, still perplexed by how similar the young man is to wwx, despite something being drastically different to him.

They sit for a while in awkward silence, before mxy finally asks who he had thought he was for him to have such a look in his eyes, as if unable to believe what he saw (and the huge disappointment when realisation settled in).

it's a bit weird for jc to talk about it, he hasn't really told anyone about how much he misses wwx (his parents got tired to hear it and jiejie seems to have gone through her morning) other than his therapist when he would have nightmare and guilt for what happened.

he tells him about wwx, but keeps out most of the detail, simply saying he was someone really important to him but who died a couple of years ago.

They chat a bit more, jc surprisingly at ease after a while (maybe mxy looking like wwx helps).

They decide to meet again, and their relationship escalates quickly, to the point where one night when they are both drunk they decide to sleep together.

jc feels a bit guilty for imagining wwx in mxy stead, yet he feels like the "gege" being called by mxy isn't him. They start dating soon afterwards.

Without ever telling each other, they both know they are only a replacement for the other. They hear the name being called that isn't there's, things the others do for them but that doesn't fit their taste but someone else.

They both know this isn't a healthy relationship, but they both need someone right now and they doubt anyone else would accept so easily to be someone else replacement.

They can't get over a love they shouldn't have or cannot have anymore.

They are not going forwards, but at least they are not alone in stalling like this.

Original