#and then they respond like ''real life animals can't consent to sex and you are a horrible person for saying they can'' bitch that's

[transillusionisms]

holy SHIT i hate antis. guys did you know if you lie about a community you can make it look like you're the good guys

[your-dads-top]

Why are gay men so pornsick on average? They're heavily attached to coomerism

I think there are several reasons that all kind of exist alongside one another:

1. Porn being venerated because it was our first exposure to same-sex relationships and representation. It's "safer" than a real life encounter because you can't catch and STI from watching it. The solution to this aspect is for there to be more age appropriate, accessible same-sex relationships in media for gay teenagers.

2. The "Porn-Sex-Porn" Cycle. Sex is a full body sensory experience. Porn removes the impact of sex one one or more of your senses depending on how you consume it. Obviously touch because you are not being touched by the subjects, but also smell & taste and sound if you are just looking at an image or muting a video. If the person you're sleeping with stops showering, stops brushing and flossing their teeth, gains more weight than reasonable, etc. it's going to impact what sex feels like with them. If you are only able to get with guys who you don't really desire, you're going to go right back to pornography. The same thing can be said for personality- if a guy starts showing a side of himself that you find unattractive, it will impact your ability to consent to him. This, in my opinion, is why a lot of guys get into furry and anime porn. A fictional character has a fixed personality that is not impacted by your interactions with them. A fictional character is limited to what is canon. Real people change. Real people respond to stimuli. The solution to this would be having frank conversations where if things don't change there will be consequences (AKA breaking up), however this brings me to point 3...

3. The impact of discourse on male same-sex relationships. Rooted in queer theory, the push against making your boundaries clear on dating and hook-up apps/sites has done more harm than good for gay men. It's made the assholes who can't take no for an answer feel emboldened to view themselves as victims. It's made it so those in charge of our spaces will make it hostile if you step a toe out of line. If you end a relationship because of your partner's behaviour, you are the one in the wrong no matter what and risk having your name sullied in an already small as mouseshit dating pool. The solution to this is the development of new discourses within academia to trickle down. This point is less about porn and more about reiterating the general atmosphere in gay dating (which could be argued leads to turning back to porn).

4. The rising COL / Unrealistic Workplace expectations pushing gay men into sex work. Rent is high, wages are low. Jobs expect you to have 24/7 availability while not giving you a set schedule and getting in the way of picking up a part-time job. This affects everyone. However, for straight people, there are always more opportunities for meeting an opposite sex partner. Have to work night shifts? There's always a higher chance of finding someone of the opposite sex with the same schedule on Tinder than of the same-sex. Have to work weekends but have Tuesdays off? Most bars and pubs that cater to straight crowds are open then while most gay ones are just open on Fridays and Saturdays. This is one of the reasons why I think a number of gay men are getting into sex work. Pre-filmed content can be done on your own time. It also allows you to advertise yourself, as a sexual person, to potential partners and write off visiting them as a business expense. In a similar vein, if you are half-good at visual art you can make decent money drawing furry porn. Gay men want to financially support other gay men. Gay men want to help other gay men escape poverty because, at the end of the day, this is our dating pool and what happens to one of us impacts us all. While starting a fund to help support financially struggling gay men might be a solution, it runs the risk of pissing off everyone else and being burned to the ground because we want to prioritize our own and keep them from turning to sex work. Sex work becomes one of the few avenues where we can almost guarantee we are supporting one of our own because he is providing something that others cannot.

Just as a note, my thoughts on kinks can be generally extrapolated by my thoughts on personality impacting consent as well as the impact of discourse on gay dating.